Ch. 5

I woke up the next morning and my first thoughts were if i was still safe. I sighed in relief and remembered how Shin promised to come and visit this afternoon.

"Shin..." i thought out loud.

I made myself scrambled eggs and some toast for breakfast, impatiently awaiting for Shin.

"Two more hours," i said with a dreamy expression.

There was a sudden knock at my door and thinking it was Shin..opened it without hesitation. I opened it seeing Ukyo, greeting me with a kind smile.

"May I?" he asked, walking in anyway.

"Ukyo..." i said staring at him in surprise.

"I know you have been confused lately, but i need you to leave with me immediatly. With or without your approval..you are coming with me," Ukyo said with a harsher expression and tone.

I ran to grab my bag and he grabbed my hand leading me out of the apartment complex and into his car. I knew what i was doing was against Shin's wishes, but i didn't know what Ukyo would do if i resisted him.

"Ukyo where are we going?" i asked.

"I am going to jog your memory." he answered.

"Oh." i answered in surprise.

How did he know that i was missing memories...if anything it was the complete opposite.

"The memories that you now have aren't a figment of your imagination. I was scared you would leave me without hesitation, so i hid the fact you had lost them. Also, there are memories of me you don't remember either," he said parking the car on the side of the road near a small park.

He led me to a well and i peered inside.

"Anything?" he asked hopefully.

"No," i answered in response.

He looked almost revealed after i admitted i didn't remember, which confused me a little.

"I-if you ever do...just remember what i am about to tell you. I no longer have the hatred for you i had before. I no longer allowed the pain to guide me. I..never meant for this to happen to you, i just wanted to see you smile at me again..not at other men. I love you," he finished, looking at me with his sad green, crimson eyes.

"I worried about you Ukyo and why i remembered so many strange people, but i know that you would never hurt me and i will never run away. I promise," i said, forcing a smile.

A few tears escaped Ukyo's eyes and he scooped me up in his arms.

"I don't quite understand the rest of what you said, but i suppose i will someday," i gasped, as he squeezed the life out of me.

"Yeah," he sighed.

I returned to my apartment a few minutes after Shin arrived.

"You weren't lonely, were you?" Shin teased sitting down beside me.

"No, because i know i am surrounded by people who care and protect me." i said wearing a dreamy expression.

"Weirdo." he said rubbing my head.

Ukyo's words echoed in my mind for the rest of the day and was unable to entertain Shin properly. When he said he loved me...i wondered why i never said i love you back. I wasn't sure if it was because of Shin or Toma, but i was already having a hard time finding out who i was. Telling Ukyo i loved him when i didn't was just as bad as saying i hate him. Did i love Shin or Toma though?..

Toma had done unforgivable things to me, but it was all to protect me... Although that wasn't someone i was prepared to give my life to.

Shin is harsh, yet incredibly caring and kind. He has always been there for me in every situation possible. Could i give my life to him though?...

Ukyo...he seemed to understand the situation perfectly, yet i was always in the dark. His caring eyes say he loves me, but his actions..led me to doubt him. There was something i dont remember abou Ukyo either, but for now i will let things fall into place and take my time figuring everything out.

"Hey, I should head out," Shin said and kissed my head gently.

I smiled at him and he promised to be back the next morning, but i told him to take the next few days off.

"I promise not to leave," i told him as he walked out of the door.

He deserved some time to himself after always watching over me. As the sun began to set i looked out of my window and imagined spending the rest of my life with Shin, Ukyo, or Toma. Each life seemed incredible all on its own, but there...was something missing.