The light streaming through the Dalish styled, stained glass windows was colorful, painting the room in hues of green and yellow. It had a calming effect, lulling Cullen's anxiety enough to keep him seated in the love seat pushed up against the banister. He wrung his hands as he watched Delani get tended to by healers, his foot tapping nervously as he tried to give them their space as they worked. Keeping still was next to impossible, but he had already been banished from Delani's side and he would not be welcomed back until the healers were done.

"You need to stay off your foot for some time, Inquisitor," one of the healers warned. "We've reset your ankle, but the damage done to it will need time to properly heal."

Delani simply nodded that she understood. Her lips were thin, and her gaze was distant as the mages finished with her bandages. When a woman stepped up to Cullen, his attention was pulled from Delani to meet the apothecary's gaze. She handed him a container of a green colored salve, and some tea bags filled with bitter smelling herbs.

As he accepted the items from the woman, she explained their purpose to him. "The salve, applied three times a day, will help prevent infection on her cuts and will promote healing with minimal scarring. The tea is to help with the pain, and she should drink them as needed." When Cullen thanked her for the items, she offered him a sympathetic smile before adding, "If she needs more let me know. I've given you enough to last a week, but it wouldn't be a problem to make more."

"Thank you," Cullen murmured, dropping his gaze to the items in his hands. His heart was in his stomach. He and Delani had not had a moment alone since rescuing her from the bandits. There was so much that he needed to tell her, emotions that he needed to confess too, but it was never the right time. Either Delani had been sleeping off the worst of her injuries, or she was being looked over by healers. The proper time had yet to present itself.

It was more than that, he knew. The issue was that there was this rift between them, a wall built high that had not been there since their first meeting those many, many months ago. Delani had not so much as looked at him, and Cullen felt that he knew why.

She was angry at him, just as he was angry at himself. Cullen had failed her. As her general it was his job to protect her, to keep her safe, to guard her from the very thing that had happened to her. But he hadn't. Cullen had been safe behind Skyhold's walls when she needed him most, and now Delani had finally realized that he truly was not deserving of her love. He never had been. He never would be.

His fingers tightened around the salve, the herb filled bags churning in his fierce grasp. Cullen would prove to her that he was worthy. He would correct the wrong he had committed by not protecting her. Her every need would be tended to, and he would make sure that Delani wanted for nothing. He may not have been able to prevent her injuries from happening, but he would be there to make sure that she was being properly taken care of.

One by one the healers started to leave Delani's chambers. The last one double checked the bandages around Delani's ribcage before reminding her that, "You are not to put any pressure on that foot. I will return with a crutch for you to walk around with. Until then, I'm sure the Commander would be happy to assist you to get wherever you need to go."

Cullen nodded that she had it right, but Delani's gaze was on her lap. He had never seen her so diminutive before. Delani was the kind of person that exuded her own light, but that light was gone. It had been snuffed out, and Cullen's chest ached with the realization. Those bandits had broken her more than just physically, they'd taken away something very dear to her. Her vivaciousness. And Cullen could not help but accept some of that blame himself. If he had done more, if he had tried harder, she would not have suffered at their hands. He had failed her.

The healer placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder before squeezing it. When he looked up to search her encouraging features, she assured him, "She needs some rest, that's all. She will be back on her feet in no time."

He accepted her words with a curt nod before his gaze fell to his feet. Cullen couldn't bring himself to believe the healer's assurances. There was something upsetting Delani that ran deeper than her simply needing to rest. The laugh that he could always find in her eyes was gone, the smirk that had always hinted under the surface of her lips had vanished. Delani appeared to have the life and color drained from her, and it filled Cullen with such incomprehensible guilt.

At the sound of the door shutting, he realized that they were alone at last. His heart beat picked up, nervously thumping as he thought about what he should do. Since the moment he had found her with the bandits, Cullen had refused to step away from her side, or to let her out of his sight. They had not gotten the chance to speak, and now that they had it he had no idea where to even start.

Setting down the salve and tea bags on the couch cushion beside him, Cullen pulled himself up from the loveseat and walked the short distance to where Delani was seated on the edge of her bed. When she didn't look up to meet his gaze, he crouched down in front of her.

Desperately, he searched her features. Her sea green eyes avoided his, and her split bottom lip found its way between her teeth. Cullen's heart lurched in his chest and his stomach knotted up. He understood why she couldn't look at him, he could barely stand his own company, but her evasion still cut so deeply. He had worried after her, had nearly lost his mind trying to bring her back home. Though he understood the purpose of the wall she had built up against him, he could not accept its existence.

Cullen placed a gentle hand on her knee, quietly whispering, "Delani—" only for her to clamp her eyes shut and turn her face away from him.

"Are Cassandra and the others here?" she asked, her voice as hard and emotionless as the wall that she had erected between them. Still not looking at him, Delani softly wondered, "Did they make it?"

He sighed, fighting with himself to not outwardly react to her evasion of him. "Yes," he supplied, defeated. "Would you like me to bring them to you?"

Delani nodded once, a sharp and impersonal movement. "If you would please."

"Very well." Cullen pushed himself back onto his feet. He didn't move immediately, instead he stared down at the beautiful woman who he loved so much, and racked his mind for ways to close the breach that now separated them. How did he fix this? When no answers came to mind he sighed again and went to go retrieve her friends.

He descended the stairs and left her chambers, but only made it so far as the catwalk before his emotions pulled him to a stop. The beat of his heart picked up in his chest, the frantic thump-thump, thump-thump filling him with anxiety and dread. It felt as though his insides were tearing themselves apart. He couldn't breathe. His throat was tightening. Cullen leaned his weight against the stone wall and rested his forehead against its cold surface.

Forced deep, ragged breaths clawed through the tightness of his throat, Cullen clenched his eyes shut and tried to shove his emotions back down. How could he have failed her so completely? How could he have let this happen to her? An angry sob ripped out of him and Cullen hammered his fist into the wall, repeatedly punching the stone surface until he felt the skin break from the contact. When he knew that his knuckles were bleeding, that the bones had probably been displaced, he allowed himself to calm back down. He would make this right. He had to fix what had broken between him and Delani. Nothing else mattered.

Once his heartbeat had slowed back down to a normal rhythm, Cullen peeled himself from the wall and straightened himself out. He released the last of his tension with a final sigh before returning to his task. He had to find Delani's companions and inform them that she was asking for their company. After he was done with that Cullen was going to try and speak with Delani without her turning away from him in disgust.

Stepping out into the main hall, Cullen was surprised and relieved to find that Varric, Dorian, and Cassandra were loitering near the door. They had probably been waiting for their chance to check in with Delani, just as worried for her as she was about them. Cullen understood Delani's desire to see her friends, she had thought that they had died. What he didn't understand why she refused to acknowledge him. He could handle her anger, he could even endure her disappointment. Cullen could not, however, deal with her completely blocking him out.

She meant too much to him. Almost losing her had hurt him too much. He needed to hold her, to feel her, to know that she was truly with him, but she couldn't bring herself to meet and hold his gaze. There were very few feelings worse than the ones he was currently suffering.

Her companions immediately noticed him exiting the stairwell to Delani's chambers and rushed him. They were all still banged up from their encounter with the bandits, though none appeared half as bad as what Delani had suffered. His anger resurfaced at the memory of her bruised and swollen face, how her body was covered with bruises and bandages. He had not yet come up with a punishment befitting what had been done to Delani. But he could be creative if he put his mind to it.

Before they could bombard him with questions, Cullen informed them, "She's awake and a little worse for wear." He rubbed the back of his neck, working the tension from the muscles there. He could not ignore the part of him that was envious of Delani's immediate desire for her companions when she had dismissed him so briskly. Setting his jaw, he exhaled heavily through his nose before adding, "She wants to see you, all of you."

"Best not to keep her Worship waiting then," Varric said with a joke in his voice, but the concern in his eyes was bright with sincerity. He turned for the door but stopped short before his fingers touched the handle. Looking over his shoulder at Cullen, the dwarf said, "Thanks for bringing her back, Curly."

He bowed his head, accepting Varric's gratitude even though he felt it unnecessary. Cullen loved Delani. There should not have been a single shred of doubt about whether or not he would go after her. He would have gone into the Void for that woman.

Varric and Cassandra both disappeared behind the door but Dorian lingered behind, closely inspecting Cullen's features with concern in his grey eyes. Placing an affable hand on Cullen's shoulder, he offered him a small smile and the words, "She's safe now, Cullen. And that's thanks to you."

Grinding his teeth, Cullen found it exceedingly difficult to accept Dorian's encouragement. Delani should not have been in danger to begin with. He should have done more to make sure that she was safe. He should have reacted sooner. Delani should not have suffered the way she had and he should have done more to prevent it. But he hadn't and now she hated him because of it.

A sigh expelled from Dorian when he realized that his words had no impact. Allowing his hand to fall from Cullen's shoulder, he said, "Lady Leliana wanted you to meet her in the dungeons. I believe she's waiting there for you now."

"Thank you," he stated before glancing at the door to Delani's chambers. A weight like lead sat heavy on the floor of his stomach, filling him with self-loathing and anxiety. He would speak to Leliana, and then he would speak to Captain Ophelia about how he would be tending to his paperwork from the Inquisitor's chambers before returning to Delani's side.

Delani needed to rest, and he would allow her, but he would not let her go through this alone. She might not want him by her side, but he would not be pushed from it. Cullen had already lost her once, he was not prepared to go through that another time. Never again would he endure that pain.

Turning on his heel, he walked down the hall until he reached the door that would help him find his way to the dungeons. There were two guards posted at the entrance, and both saluted him in greeting. He nodded at each of them before walking past to the cells that hung precariously over the crumbling ledge. Standing guard at the final door was a Templar, specifically assigned to keep their mage prisoner contained.

Leliana stood in front of the cell, her knuckles tucked under her chin as she closely inspected the prisoner. She didn't look up when Cullen approached, but said, "I did not think I would be able to pull you from Lady Lavellan's side," by way of greeting.

"You call that knife ear a lady?" The prisoner spat from his corner in the cell. "She's a savage! She killed almost all of my men!"

The Orlesian spymaster was unfazed by the prisoner's rambling, while it took what little self control that Cullen had left to keep from reaching into the cell and wringing the mage's neck. "I saw what she did to your men, and she gave them each a merciful death." There was a wicked smile in her voice when she assured him, "You will not be so lucky."

When Leliana finally turned to meet Cullen's tense gaze, he asked, "What have you learned?"

"The Faceless Few were a failed mercenary group from Starkhaven," she supplied, her accented words dancing melodically from her mouth. "They couldn't keep contracts and so they lost their credibility and became highwaymen. This is their leader, Ayden McGregor, the last Faceless Man in Thedas."

Cullen's lip curled back in disgust. He had known that these men had lacked honor, but hearing his suspicions confirmed made him angry. Even criminals were capable of honor, some even had a code. But this filth preyed on the helpless and reveled in the madness.

To the prisoner, Cullen demanded, "What did you want with Delani?"

"Isn't it obvious," the man laughed without amusement, his voice shuddering as he violently shook from the cold. "I wanted gold, and lots of it."

Leliana eyed the prisoner with an arched eyebrow, wheels turning in her eyes as she contemplated all the things that could be done to the prisoner. Without looking at Cullen, she explained further, "He wanted a ransom. He was going to offer Lady Lavellan to both us and the Venatori and sell her to the highest bidder." To the mage, she prompted, "You did not expect her to put up such a fight, did you?"

Ayden laughed again, and it was a hysterical sound, before dragging his trembling hands through his hair. "That damned rabbit was more trouble than she's worth."

His teeth ached from how hard he was grinding them. Delani was worth any trouble, the value of her safety and her person was priceless. Cullen would have happily given his life for hers. This brigand could not imagine the treasure he was insulting so ignorantly. And to offer her to the Venatori, their enemy, who knew what those monsters would have done to her. She would have suffered so much worse at their hands.

Fury spread through Cullen like wildfire, he had a desire for blood that would only be quenched with Ayden McGregor's death. "What will we do with him?" he growled.

Leliana's shoulder jumped with a careless shrug. "We could wait for the Inquisitor to deal with him, have a public trial and execution," she offered before tentatively adding, "Or we can deal with him ourselves. No one knows that he is here besides a few guards, Solas, Blackwall, you and myself."

Her eyes narrowed on the prisoner, and her tone was dangerous when Leliana stated, "Justice has many forms, not all of them are doled out swift and painlessly."

He ground his teeth as he considered her words. The option to deal with Ayden himself was a tempting one. How good it would feel to make the man know suffering the way that he had made Delani suffer. Too good. It would be too easy to torture the man, to make him beg for death as though it were the only release from his pain. It would feel too good to listen to his screams as Cullen repaid every broken bone, every bruise, every cut ten times over. It would be sweet, but the taste would be of revenge. Not justice.

Cullen hated Ayden McGregor for what he had done to Delani. But, in the end, it was Delani who had suffered at his hands. The decision of what should be done to him was hers to make and no one else's. Though he would have loved to deal with the man himself, to take this burden from her shoulders, he would only do so if she asked him to. The prisoner's life was in Delani's hands, and that meant that he had time before she came to a decision.

Sighing through his nose, Cullen grumbled, "I'm not the one who he abducted and abused. The decision of what we do to him is Delani's to make."

He thought he felt a wave of disappointment radiate from Leliana. She nodded before looking past Cullen to the Templar waiting by the door. "Strip the prisoner," she instructed, catching Cullen by surprise. "And if you forget to feed him every once in a while, I'm sure no one would take offence; or even notice for that matter."

When she looked up to meet Cullen's wide, questioning gaze, the spy master said, "He gets to live a little bit longer, that does not mean that he gets to be comfortable."

Cullen didn't have it in him to argue with her. He side eyed McGregor before nodding his approval. McGregor could live, but it did not have to be comfortably. It wasn't torture, but it was the hospitality that he deserved.

Palming the pommel of his sword, Cullen's gaze moved onto Leliana before he dismissed himself from the conversation. "I should return to Delani's side."

A small smile tugged slightly at the corner of her mouth at hearing him refer to the Inquisitor by her name and not her title. Nodding that she understood, Leliana said, "I'll make sure that only the most important matters are brought to your attention. For now my people will consult with Captain Ophelia until you say otherwise."

He bowed his head in gratitude. "Thank you, Leliana."

She waved him off with a roll of her eyes and a muttered, "Go, now."

Not needing to be told twice, Cullen left the dungeon behind. First he would stop by his office to grab the unfinished paperwork he had left scattered along his desk. Then he would return to Delani's chambers and borrow her desk. He wanted to be close to her, to tend to her every need, but he also needed to be productive and keep his hands busy. Delani would need to rest, and while she did he would work.

With sleep had come nightmares. Delani had relived her death, had seen the murder in Wayne's eyes all over again. She had felt his hands around her throat, had felt his fingers tightening, squeezing until her eyes rolled into the back of her head. She had felt the fear, the helplessness, and Delani was terrified of falling asleep again.

She was currently laying on her side, her back to Cullen, pretending to rest as she dreaded what would come if she did actually slip into another nap. She could hear the quill scratching on parchment as he worked, and pondered how a sound could be soothing and grating at the same time. His presence in the room was comforting, but it was infuriating as well. Delani didn't know what was wrong with her, but she couldn't stand Cullen's company.

Actually, that was a lie. Delani knew exactly what was wrong with her. She was weak. She was a weak, helpless, hopeless idiot, and she did not deserve his attention or his affection. How could he possibly have feelings for someone as frail and powerless as her? Cullen was a lion, he was a force of nature that bent things to his will. He deserved a partner that could do the same, instead he had her. A broken fawn that couldn't even take care of herself.

Her body ached, reminding her again of her time spent with the Faceless Few, of the care with which Wayne and McGregor had treated her. Her stomach twisted with knots at the memory. Delani had been in many fights, she had been cut, she had been broken, she had bled and she had nearly died countless times. But this had been different.

Never in her life had she been bound like a hog ready for a spit. Never before had her hands been tied while she'd been beaten. Delani had never been that kind of helpless before, and the memory of it terrified her. She had no one to blame but herself for what had happened to her. So filled with over-confident bravado, she had been so sure that she and her companions could handle the ambush without breaking a sweat.

Even when she noticed that their enemy's numbers were too great, she had stayed in the fight. Delani should have sounded the retreat. She should have told her companions to fall back, to run for their lives and fight another day. Instead they had stayed. Her friends had nearly died and she had been abducted. Everything that had happened to them, to her, was a result of her own stupidity. Delani had suffered the consequences of her brashness, was still suffering its consequences, and now Cullen wanted to bear witness to the end result. He wanted to help her through it, to carry her, protect her, comfort her. But she didn't deserve any of it. Delani deserved this pain, not his affection.

A mass started to form in her throat, dark emotions expanding through her chest and spreading through her muscles. They tightened with fear, with self-loathing, and the sudden tension in her body did not go unnoticed by Cullen.

"Delani?" he called to her, the sound of his quill scribbling on parchment coming to a stop. "Are you awake?"

No, she thought. There was no hiding it now, he would be on her in seconds, wanting to take care of her like the amazing man that he was, and the thought made her stomach roll. The thought of his gentle fingers grazing her skin, his touch tender as he helped her sit up, as he tended to her every need, it made her sick to her stomach. He couldn't touch her. She didn't deserve him.

She heard him get out from behind the desk, the sound of his boots clicking on the stone floor as he made his way toward her. Cullen rounded the bed until he was kneeling beside her. She clamped her eyes tightly shut as he combed her bangs out of her face, fighting the urge to smack his fingers away from her. His breath was a warm caress on her features as he sighed at the sight of her.

"How are you feeling, ma atishan?"

Don't call me that, she wanted to snap at him. She did not deserve the endearment. She was weak, and the weak deserved to die. She had died. And dead she should have stayed. Releasing a slow, heavy breath she assessed her aches and pains and answered with an honest, "I've felt better."

Delani cracked an eye open to find Cullen staring at her with worry in his golden eyes. She felt terrible for worrying him, but she also felt infuriated by his concern. He should have been just as disgusted with her as she was with herself. She had gotten herself captured. She had nearly gotten her team, their friends, killed. He should have been tearing her apart like he would a foolhardy soldier, not caring after her, not looking at her with such tenderness in his gaze.

"Here," he murmured, gently grabbing hold of her arm. "Allow me to help you sit up."

Self-hatred filled her with anger. She ripped her arm from Cullen's grasp and snarled, "I've got it." Wincing, she pulled herself up with a groan, and the effort left her breathless.

Delani had been helpless during her captivity with the bandits. She hadn't been able to defend herself or escape. She had felt her single greatest fear, inability, and she never wanted to feel it again. That was another reason why she was so unreasonably infuriated with Cullen. He wanted to take care of her. He wanted to tend to her every need, but Delani needed to prove to herself that she was better than her injuries, that she was strong enough to never find herself in that kind of situation ever again. She couldn't do that if he hovered over her, clucking like a mother hen.

She could feel the weight of his gaze on her, but couldn't bring herself to look into his eyes. Delani knew that she would find pain there, and she hated the fact that she was the one causing it. All Cullen wanted to do was take care of her, and she was making that as impossible for him as she could. Delani wanted to take care of herself. She needed to prove to herself that she could.

"How's the pain?" his worry filled voice reverberated through the room, making Delani want to bury herself in his arms and just cry, while also making her want to scream at him to leave.

Rubbing her brow to keep herself from snapping at him again, she sighed, "It's manageable."

He placed a warm hand on her knee and searched her eyes as he asked, "Would you like me to prepare you some tea?"

"No," she bit out, her patience for his concern and doting waning by the second. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Why couldn't he just let her wallow in her sense of worthlessness? Why did he have to insist on seeing her like this?

When Delani tried to push herself onto her feet, Cullen was up in an instant, his hand on her elbow and the other on the small of her back. Lip pulling back into a snarl, Delani ripped her arm from his grasp and nearly lost her balance as she did so. "I'm fine, Cullen. Please. Leave me be!"

His amber eyes looked at her as though she had just slapped him. Jaw working as he thought about how he could help her without touching her. After making a displeased sound, he walked over to the love seat and retrieved the crutch that had been propped up against it. He handed it to her and Delani snatched it from him.

As she awkwardly hobbled across the room toward the privy, she flinched at the intensity of her anger when he asked, "Do you need any help?"

"No, Cullen," she growled at him, unable to hold back her anger no matter how badly she wanted to. "I don't need your help to take a piss. I think I can manage."

She slammed the door to the privy shut behind her and leaned her weight against it. Burying her face in her hands she fought back the urge to succumb to her tears. She would not cry, not with Cullen just on the other side of the door. He would want to comfort her, and that was something that she simply couldn't deal with at the moment. Her emotions were a fucking mess, and she didn't even know where to start addressing them. Creators, what was happening to her?

After several minutes of heavy breathing, Delani finally bothered to do what she had come to the privy to do. Her every muscle ached as she wriggled out of her tights and pulled down her smalls. She felt as though she had been charged by an angry druffalo during mating season, and absolutely every part of her was in pain. When she was done Delani lingered just a few minutes longer, hating that she had to go back out to her room and face Cullen.

It was the sound of a hissing kettle that finally pulled her from the privy. Delani stepped out to Cullen pouring the boiling water in a mug. He set the kettle near the hearth before turning to face Delani. There was an unsure smile on his lips and he held the mug out in offering, as though he were trying to make peace between them.

"I told you that I didn't want tea," she stated.

His brows knitted self-consciously before he replied, "But you're obviously in pain, Delani."

"I'm fine!" Delani barked at him, hating how much his concern melted her heart, loathing how badly she needed him to hold her. Delani needed to get through this herself. She couldn't allow herself to be helpless again. Relying on Cullen to help her through this was to accept the fact that Wayne had broken her in every way imaginable.

Pinning him down with a spiteful glare, she growled, "I already have a shadow. I don't need another one."

Cullen set his jaw, his patience for her behavior at its end. Good. Maybe then he would finally leave.

"I'm just trying to—"

"I know what you're trying to do!" she shouted at him, all of the anger, hatred, and disappointment she felt toward herself directed at Cullen. "But what you are doing is suffocating me! I'm fine! I don't need your help!"

He did not deserve to be treated the way that she was treating him. Cullen had done absolutely nothing wrong. But Delani couldn't stop. No matter how badly she wanted his comfort, she couldn't accept it. Cullen was too good, and she deserved her pain.

Cullen set the mug of tea down on the shelf over the fireplace. Slowly moving his gaze back onto her, he locked her eyes with his and Delani nearly fell to her knees and begged for his forgiveness at the pain she found in his amber depths. She was doing this to him. What kind of monster was she to make the man she loved suffer because of her own shortcomings? She was a terrible person. If he turned his back on her now she would completely understand.

"What do you want from me, Delani?" It was an honest question, and not the least bit malicious in nature, though somewhat impatient. "What do you need me to do?"

"I want you to leave me alone," she bit out. "I need you to go! Why are you even still here?"

His chest puffed up with his own anger. His patience was gone. Cullen was done trying to coddle her. Matching her volume, he answered her question. "Because I love you, Delani!"

She immediately stilled with his confession, her eyes widening with surprise. Snapping her mouth shut, Delani carefully searched Cullen's handsome features and found only sincerity in his eyes. Cullen did love her, and she was trying so hard to push him away. Delani didn't deserve his love but she had it regardless.

Cullen's confession broke something inside of her and Delani fell to her knees. She could no longer suppress the torrent of emotions violently ripping her apart inside. Those three little words had destroyed her floodgates, and now everything that she had been bottling up inside came rushing out like a flood.

"But why?" she begged, unable to wrap her head around his words. "How could you?"