TTWH 11

Ha Ha – this one's a real shocker too, same warnings apply. What the hell is Merle up to, anyway? Is he really going to try and force himself on his baby brother? How could he after everything he's been through? Will this destroy Daryl and their relationship forever?

i.

Daryl

My brother was pinning me down and tearing at my clothes. I was trying my best to stop him but he was heavier than me, especially as I hadn't gained all my weight back and I needed to find some leverage. More humiliating,I couldn't help the the whimpers escaping me or myself from hyperventilating in fear.

'Merle, I said FUCKIN' STOP!'

But it was like he didn't hear me, he only snarled and tried to nuzzle my neck.

My feelings of panic disappeared as I forced myself to be calm. He was my brother, for fuck's sake, wasn't really going to hurt me – besides, I knew I could handle him. Still, I guess he'd got caught up in the moment. With what I'd told him – allowed him to do. But if I knew Merle, he would have made sure Jones paid whether I wanted him to or not.

Wouldn't have been the first time I'd rejected his advances...rare as they were because usually he needed to be high or drunk and it struck me that this time, he was as sober as a judge. I'd always known he'd loved me more than a brother should and still it hadn't mattered. I knew it was sick but he was my brother, I'd forgive him anything. Difference was, now I knew why. Dad had messed with him, fucked with his head.

Must have been that.

Or maybe he'd inherited his sickness. I pushed that thought away in a hurry.

Along with the thought of what I'd told him – allowed him to do. But if I knew Merle, he would have made sure Jones paid for what he did to me whether I wanted it or not. One way or another.

I stopped struggling, deliberately allowing my my body to go limp. He made a pleased sound in his throat at that, taking this as consent no doubt when I'd never let him before.

'Sh..sh...Ain't gonna hurt ya, jus' make ya feel real good...forget about those dead, sick fucks...and what they did...' He crooned at me as he started running his hands up and down my bare chest – and groaning with desire. I said nothing, did nothing. He'd practically ripped my shirt off, breaking all the buttons in his haste. They were lying on the ground all around us.

When my hand found my blade. I managed to pull it out and wedge the handle between us.

'Merle...I said 'Get the fuck off me!'. I screamed as I drew it upwards, and finally managed to get him off me.

He fell back to the ground, winded with a pained grunt, clutching his stomach and with a sheepish look all over his face and I could tell that he immediately regretted losing control. But I was over there in a shot, my fury taking over at him for making me feel like those men had made me feel again– helpless. Someone else's plaything. An object used for someone's pleasure.

'Fuckin' bastard, sick pervert!' I yelled in his face, right before I started swinging punches at him, bruising up his face. He took the first few without flinching before he rose to his feet and start fighting back. I barely felt the blows in my fury but I knew I had a split lip and black eye.

'Ya jus' like him! Sick!' I drove my fist into his stomach after rushing at him again. 'You'd do it to me as well, if ya could? What did ya do to those other men and women?'

His lips trembled and he looked down at the ground but he didn't reply. There was nothing he could say.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jones' bloody face and lifeless eyes watching us and it made me feel another emotion other than rage at my brother.

Defiance. Need. Feel something again – that I was alive. Feel another's skin against mine – somebody I could trust not to hurt me to erase their lingering touches and maulings all over my body that felt like it was all on fire right now. Seeing them again, especially Jones - brought it all back and it felt like there was not one inch on my body that they hadn't had their paws on it. I let out a sob without meaning to and burst his lips with another well-placed blow but then I was on top of him. Sobbing uncontrollably again now in both rage and frustration.

Letting myself feel things I'd always stopped in their tracks before. Because they were wrong and I hadn't even known about the things Dad had done to him then. Maybe all Dixons were sick – a family curse. Yes – that sounded about right.

I wrapped my arms around him and started to kiss him while he chuckled smugly before he started to kiss me back just as gently as if in apology. Taking his cue from me.

'Well, well, little brother. Who's the sick one now?'

'Fuck you.' I growled and squirmed on his lap, rubbing our groins together through our jeans. At the same time drawing a moan from him before I bit his lip without warning, making it bleed before I licked the blood off. Savouring the bitter, metallic taste of my brother before I plundered his mouth again with my greedy tongue.

After a little while, we had to come up for air, breathing heavily but we still didn't stop touching one another, drinking each other in with our hands and touch.

'Yeah, ya know ya want to.' Were his first words to me as he just laughed again, undeterred. 'Fuck, I like it little brother when ya get all feisty. And kinky to say the least. Never knew ya had it in ya.'

I bit him again, his earlobe this time as if to prove my point and he groaned. 'Why now, all of a sudden?' He asked as he grabbed hold of me and flipped us over so that I was lying on the ground beneath him instead of straddling him. Hands fumbling to undo his flies in his eagerness.

'No!.' I told him in a moment of panic and put my hand on his arm. 'Not like this. Get off me.'

I had felt the fear rise in me again when he pinned me down and it seemed like I could hear them around me again and my brother's touches were theirs again. Letting out a moan of frustration, he immediately stopped and did as I told him. He brushed the hair hanging off my face away to look into my eyes. 'Ya the one in control, baby brother and don't ya ever forget that. Learnt my lesson. Don't need to be afraid of me no more.' And something about his words made me get hard down there.

' Ain't scared of ya and ya better have, you sick fuck.' But it was a lie. The things he admitted to me that he'd done in Woodbury and seeing him brutalise Jones and reduce him to a sobbing wreck had made me a little afraid of him. That was without him suddenly attacking me. I knew he was sorry for that temporary slip of control even so, I slapped his face, a little too hard than I meant to. Leaving a red mark in the shape of a hand where there was a patch of unbruised skin. 'Ya think I can't handle myself or you?'

He chuckled dirtily again and grabbed my throat. 'Yeah, ya sure 'bout that, Darlena?'

'Get down.' I forced him to the ground and he let me go. 'Stay down there!' I ordered him while he grinned and somehow him letting me have power over him was keeping the memories away and me in the present. I attacked his neck, biting deep enough to draw blood. Then licking it away and I could tell he liked this as he gasped and shuddered.

'How much longer ya gonna keep me waitin'? He demanded hungrily when I got up away from him. 'Another year?'

I went over the Jones, meanwhile keeping a careful eye on Merle to check that he didn't ambush me. Still didn't trust him, thought he'd rush me any moment despite his reassurances that I 'was the one in control'.

I untied the blood-stained rope binding Jones' hands behind him, wrinkling my nose at the stink of piss and fear that still lingered over his dead corpse.

'Hurry up!' Merle was getting impatient and I felt gratified to see his eyes widen in surprise. 'Wha...what ya gonna do with that?' I couldn't believe it but he almost sounded nervous to my ears.

He started to rise to his feet until I glared at him and he slumped back down again.

I spat on the bastard's dead body and kicked him a few times before I returned to my brother.

'Come here.' I hissed in his ears. 'Ain't gonna hurt ya.' I laughed then bitterly and it felt good to be the one to say it for once and to mean it and I wiped the tears from my eyes before I tied his hands behind him. But then I asked, 'That not too tight?' as I tested his binds.

He shook his head. 'Ya do what ya gotta do, baby brother. Ain't gonna stop ya.'

I smiled as something struck me. I loosened the ropes so that Merle could reach all the way around me, not really restrained in fact. Still giving me a sense of control – it was more psychological more than anything else but giving him more freedom. 'So ya can touch me.' I whispered in reply to his questioning look and he smirked at that. 'Yeah and ya gonna want me to. Ya don't know the things I can do...with these hands.' To prove his point he started to stroke the crotch of my jeans.

My breath hitched at that in excitement.

Merle, for his part, didn't resist, let me do what I wanted. Even closed his eyes trustfully and I thought that he sure had a lot more trust in me than I had in him. We were soon out of our clothes and panting.

'Only gonna happen once and one time only. Better make the most of it.' I told him. His eyes snapped open at that and he hissed in disappointment. 'Because we killed all of them.' I added.

'We'll see about that...' He promised.

I ignored him as I ran my hands up under his shirt just like he'd done to me, and found his nipples. When I started to tease them between my thumbs and forefingers like I did with women, he threw back his head and groaned wantonly. Then, getting more and more excited, he ground himself into me at that and I knew it was time.

'Where is it?'

He knew what I was talking about and nodded over to where Jones' was, nearby was the small tub.

I closed my eyes as I let him get behind me, start preparing me. Without even discussing it, we knew that this was the way it was going to go down. Every now and then I would shudder and a whimper would escape my lips and he would stop and shush me. Praise me for being so brave or calling me beautiful while he stroked my hair or my back and kiss my skin until I nodded and my breathing slowed and he carried on. It took us a long time this way but I knew then he would never hurt me and the panicky feelings of fear were replaced by a feeling of safety. I knew now he'd stop if I told him to. Was going to make sure that I was OK with everything that happened each step along the way. More than that, he'd hold me afterwards. Yet his fingers hurt even though he pushed one in very slowly and only one, then two at a time until he reached some special place deep inside that had me moaning with pleasure and pushing back against his fingers.

'I'm gonna do this with my cock.' He whispered in my ear, pleased with himself. 'Think about how that'll feel.'

And even though his words were exciting me, the way he said them reminded me of Louie and I couldn't help letting out a small, sissy cry of distress.

'Want me to stop, baby brother?'

'No, no. Jus' somethin' ya said...keep goin'.'

'Ready?'

I held my breath and nodded. 'Do it.'

But still he hesitated. 'I'm not sure...Ya don't really want it...' He drew back after practically assaulting me!

I turned around to glare at him. Couldn't believe it because now I wanted him. 'Fuck it, Merle. Isn't this all you've ever wanted and now ya say ya can't fuck me?' I whined.

'OK, then.' He grinned and started to slide himself into me slowly. Even so, despite all the time he took preparing me, it stung at first so he started to stroke me between my legs to distract me and it did help a little. The growing pleasure from both places started to replace the pain.

'Ya OK?'

'Yeah. Fuck me, fuck me...jus' fuck me...' I started to whisper like a mantra or more like a prayer, over and over again as he obliged.

When he bottomed out inside me, I snarled even as I winced before I started moaning when he found the right angle after a few tries to hit that sensitive spot again and again and again, never missing his mark. Soon I was begging him not to stop.

He was gasping and panting too, sped up the pace when he sensed that I'd got used to the feel of him inside me and wasn't in pain any more. In the end, I screamed out his name and he cried out mine when he came as second or two after me.

…

Afterwards, he pulled me to him and held me while we recovered. I let him but I soon pushed him away - feeling disgusted with myself and with him. With how easily I lost control. Worse – I couldn't get the image of him raping Jones out of my head, even though I'd been the one to suggest it...I was just so full of rage and hate. Probably, I was disappointed that Merle had sunk so low like I'd been testing him and he'd failed.

Disappointed in myself, too because I hadn't stopped it, not even tried and now this.

Then we heard it. Pathetic rasping sobs coming from behind the bushes to the right. Someone was hurting, someone was in trouble. Had they been watching us the whole time? Seen what we'd done to Jones and to each other? My empty stomach churned at the thought someone had seen the things we'd done and I had to fight back another wave of nausea.

I prayed that it was no-one from the group. Racked my brains for people who'd gone missing lately...but couldn't think of anyone.

'Merle...' I turned to him.