TTWH 29

I

Daryl

The next night, (after the first one, people had just been too shell-shocked to talk and had just gone to bed early) I stared into the fire and refused the bowl of squirrel stew that Maggie offered me but I swigged the whiskey they passed around like we were celebrating instead of commiserating. I wasn't hungry and it didn't seem right to eat when we'd lost Carol and the others. Afterwards, I regretted not following them and I could see that Rick did too.

'Give me some of that.' My brother rudely grabbed the bottle from me and ruffled my hair after he'd gulped down a few mouthfuls but I pulled away. Merle reluctantly handed it over when Dale motioned that he wanted some. The old man was looking particularly downcast and not his usual cheery self and didn't often partake in the booze but I guess even he needed something to take the edge of the group's split. Him and Carol had been close.

My brother frowned at my reaction. 'Ya OK?' He asked stupidly. It seemed the events of the morning had just rubbed off him like water off a duck's back.

He didn't give a shit about anyone except for me and it made me furious. 'What do ya think? Carol's gone and taken half of the group with her! Including Andrea.'

He had the good grace to look a little guilty then.

'And the rest of ya!' I leapt up and kicked the bowl over ungratefully that the older Greene sister had laid down on the ground for me 'In case I changed my mind' and glared at everyone. 'How can ya jus' sit there and eat like nothin's happened?'

'They'll be OK.' Rick said. 'I couldn't force them to stay - I ain't that kind of man and I hope I would never be that kind of leader.'

'Ya don't know that and we could have gone with them.' The truth was I had a bad feeling – and Dad was still out there waiting for a chance to hurt us. I could feel his malicious will reaching out its piosonous tendrils and the worst was not knowing what to expect.

'Why didn't ya jus' back down and we could have all stayed together! Fuck ya stupid pride!' I yelled down at him, fists clenched. I was tempted to punch him in the mouth for his stupid decision and also furious with myself for staying with him. Merle would have followed me wherever.

He only looked back at me calmly and then his eyes slid away.

'Daryl, is this about ya Dad?' Maggie piped up. 'I'm sure he's gonna be OK. Carol and the others too.'

'What did ya say?' My voice was quiet but it sounded menacing, even to me and worse – now I was trembling like crazy when that old bastard's name was mentioned and just like that the memories swamped me. Our campfire disappeared and I was back there again but I knew logically that I couldn't be. But there's a big difference between knowing and experiencing.

Dimly, I heard my brother Merle's voice rise as he snapped at her, 'What ya sayin' that to him for, ya stupid bitch? He fucked...'

'Merle, shut up!' I managed to hiss while I saw Rick give him a hard look of warning before he hastily finished his sentence for him, '...fucked with their heads'.

I wonder how many people fell for it? Everyone knowing that my dear old Dad was there too and had joined in violating me was simply too much on top of Carol and Andrea leaving. Meanwhile, those sissy words pleading with those people to stop touching me were coming out of my mouth and I couldn't stop them making me look pathetic and weak in front of the people who were left.

Then I heard Rick continue, 'Dyin' or not, he was dangerous. He only came back to hurt all of us but especially his sons. He hadn't changed...We gotta pray that he's really gone.'

I heard myself whimper at that and immediately hated myself afterwards as hot tears of shame suddenly appeared and burned my eye-lids. My brother must have known how I felt because he hid my head down in his lap and the darkness did feel good. Not like everyone was watching me.

I wondered why I didn't get up and leave before I broke down but I couldn't make my limbs move. I was paralysed, just like with Dad in the tent...What was it about my father and big brother that they held so much power over me like this? Was it just because I was the youngest?

I heard Beth say 'He OK?' But no-one else was taking any notice.

'Aw come on. What can a sick old man do?' Shane scoffed over my head while I could feel my brother stroke my back soothingly.

'Plenty.' Merle growled. 'He's more than a match for ya, Walsh.' He was goading him but the big man just laughed in disbelief. You don't know him. I thought to myself and that's when I must have blacked out. The others were ignoring me like I had meltdowns everyday.

That's when I must have lost it, lost it big time. Weren't the first time it had happened, I honestly didn't know how I would have survived Woodbury if I didn't go to that forest in my mind – where I was hunting with my brother like we used to. Anyway, I don't remember anything after that.

…

Dale

I shook my head but at least the booze I'd had made things a little more fuzzy. I could hardly still believe what had happened...Carol had gone off and Rick had just let her.

It was true that some people weren't happy with the Sheriff's leadership, his behaviour and decisions had become more and more erratic and there'd been rebellion brewing long before the showdown earlier. Carol was the only one who had the guts to say what many were thinking and even I was starting to rethink my loyalty to Rick. Was staying the wrong decision?

Too late now.

I watched the exchange between the leader and the Dixons and then it struck me. It seemed to me that Will Dixon had been at Woodbury the same time Daryl was prisoner but what did that mean?

I shuddered because judging by Daryl's reaction when Maggie mentioned their father, he'd gone pale like he'd seen a ghost. Started acting out like he used to just after he got rescued, clearly in the throes of a flashback, poor man.

I didn't let myself think what it all meant...I'd seen the scars on his back -we all had one time or another but would their father have gone that far?

When Merle screamed at Maggie 'What ya sayin' that to him for, ya stupid bitch? He fucked...'

and how Rick finished his sentence for him, '...fucked with their heads' told me everything I needed to know. But had anyone else picked up on it? I hoped not but I didn't think so.

That's when we heard the noise. Coming from out of the woods, a low shuffling sound. Didn't moan or snarl like a Walker but everyone turned and looked in its direction fearfully, got their weapons out.

Merle pushed his brother off him none-too-gently and got his gun out. 'Look after him!' He barked at Maggie because it was clear that Daryl was going to be no use.. 'Least ya can do.'

Daryl just lay there limply, curled up in a ball on the ground. He didn't even react.

'What...What do I do?

'I'll do it.' Beth rolled her eyes at her and pull his head into her lap like he was a frigthened child. Started running her hands through his hair and singing a lullabye under her breath which he seemed to respond to. She sensed that her sister was in some way scared of him but not as much as she was of Merle and she wanted to show that she had no fear of either of them.

Rick motioned to the others to be quiet and looked around as if considering something. Then he pointed at the gay married couple, it was clear that he didn't want too much backup. It didn't even sound like a Walker, probably an animal but everyone was on high-alert after the last attack.

They all stopped dead in their tracks because they were so wrong. They now saw the reason why the shuffler hadn't made any noise.

It was a Walker – more than one but it was more who it was that struck them the hardest.