CHAPTER SIXTEEN

It's been two months since Colby's injury. I haven't spoken to Phil once except when he called flipping out after getting the divorce papers. Even then, I didn't actually answer my phone because I was doing Crossfit with Colby. I had to work out with him every time he worked out until his ribs fully healed to make sure he didn't push himself too hard. Colby is way too addicted to Crossfit to stop working out entirely. I think he'll be doing burpees on his deathbed.

The voicemail Phil left only proved to me I'm doing the right thing. I'm not afraid of what Phil will do to me anymore. He knows the truth about what TJ did to me and by some miracle, he has had the decency not to leak it to the dirtsheets. Phil likes leaking information to the wrestling dirtsheets because it gives him control over what they do and do not know about him. We're both really private people. Although there are rumors of our divorce because I unfollowed him on twitter (blasphemy!), no actual details are out there and neither of us has commented on it.

Colby's sound asleep and holding me right now. Neither of us has mentioned the kiss since it happened. I'm still embarrassed it happened, but at the same time, part of me wishes it would happen again. I don't really trust myself to be physical with anyone yet. I'm still having flashbacks to what TJ did, but not every night anymore. The only one I feel this way toward is Colby, and although he doesn't scare me, these feelings do, especially since I'm not sure how he feels about me. I don't even know if I'm in love with Colby or if he just makes me feel safe. What if I'm telling myself I love him just so I don't have to feel so alone in the world?

As he snores softly in my ear and tightens his hold on me slightly, I realize I do love Colby. I've loved him for a long time, and I didn'teven realize it because I was so focused on everything thatwas going wrong in my life. Through all of the drama, Colby's been by my side, smiling and being encouraging, holding me as I cried, making me laugh when I thought it was impossible, and he hasn't pushed me once to be anything other than his friend. Either I've somehow been Friendzoned, or Colby is legitimately the sweetest, most patient man on the planet.

I wonder if this makes me a bitch. Phil swore there was something going on between me and Colby way before I started wondering if it was true. Maybe I've just been blind to it and he had a right to be jealous. He still had no right to hit me, though, especially since his complete lack of caring about me or my career is probably part of what pushed me into Colby's arms.

I remove myself from those arms carefully and go to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth, I check my phone and see a photo message from Rosa that's captioned: First morning home! It's a ridiculously perky selfie of her and Drew grinning like crazy people and giving thumbs up.

I smile. Rosa took her first steps last week. She's got the feeling back in her legs completely, but now she's got to work on the strength. She can walk. That's all that matters, even if right now it's only for short intervals. Drew took a few weeks off so he can stay with her until she adjusts to being home and gets stronger.

I head back outside as Colby's phone starts to ring. He stirs, looks at the caller ID, groans, and clears his throat before picking up. "Hey, bro," he says. Colby loves his brother, but the guy stresses him out sometimes, and if he's calling this early, it's going to be to stress him out.

I watch as Colby's mannerisms change. He sits up and says, "What? No, wait, you're not making any sense..." I automatically walk closer to him, my concern growing by the second. He's pale. His breathing is rapid.

Colby drops his phone. I reach him as the first tear falls from his eyes. I have never seen Colby cry before. He's seen me cry a million times, but he's always been strong and usually, he's happy.

"Colby, what is it? What's wrong?" I ask.

He doesn't respond, just shakes his head, and then his entire body shakes as he cries. I pull him into my arms and I stroke his hair, and I try to be even a fraction as comforting to him as he has been to me. He burries his head in my shoulder and pulls me even closer to him.

"M-my mom..." He whispers. "Dad found her th-this morning... They don't know what happened... S-she just... just... In her sleep."

Now I understand, even with him omitting the key word. My heart is breaking for Colby. He's so close to his family. This loss is too much for him, and for the first time in our complicated friendship, it's my turn to be the strong one.

I rock him in my arms. "I'm so sorry, Colby..."

"I don't understand how this happened... We talked yesterday afternoon. She was fine... She was fine, April." He's sobbing harder. I just hold him and let him cry. Sometimes, you have to let it out, no matter how much it hurts.

We stay like that for a while before he says, "I don't know what to do..."

"Call Paul and tell him you need to go home," I say.

"But there's a pay-per-view tonight... My match with Dean.."

"Colby, it can wait. The fans will understand."

"I don't want to let them down."

"You need to be with your family."

"The fans are my family, too. And she'd... She would want me to do this because she knows what wrestling means to me... I mean, knew... I..."

"Colby..." I hold him tightly again.

"This doesn't feel real... It can't be real..."

"I'm so sorry, Colby... But you aren't alone, okay? I'm here, and I can call Dean and Joe..."

He hesitates, but I see the truth in his eyes. He needs his brothers right now. I grab his phone because it's closest and dial Dean. "Somebody better have fucking died, Colby," Dean answers in a groggy, aggitated voice.

"Dean," I say, very glad I was the one to hear that and not Colby.

Alertness immediately starts creeping into his voice. "April? Shit, what's wrong?"

"You called it... Colby's brother called. His mom passed away in her sleep."

Colby is trembling again. "Oh fuck... Fuck... Is he okay?"

"No. Not even a little."

"I'll be right there."

"Bring Joe."

About ninety seconds later, Dean is standing outside of the hotel room in nothing but a pair of torn plaid pajama bottoms. His hair's unbrushed, but that isn't abnormal for Dean. His feet are bare. He's hanging up his phone. "Joe's coming," he promises. He immediately sits on the bed next to Colby and pulls him into a hug.

"I'm here, man. I'm here," Dean tells him. Colby starts sobbing harder. If I hadn't done the same thing in front of him so many times, I'd feel like a voyeur watching him grieve so brutally and openly. My Colby is broken and all I want to do is find a way to fix him.

Joe appears a minute later. He's got on a clearly hastily grabbed t-shirt and jeans, but his hair is perfect. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have stopped to brush it, so this impresses me. The fangirls are right. Roman Reigns really does have magical hair!

Joe politely says hello to me before sitting on Colby's other side. I watch Colby between the two of them, crying until he runs out of tears. No one speaks. Joe and Dean both have their arms around him. Slowly, Colby draws strength from them and calms himself down.

"I'm sorry, man," Dean says.

"When are you flying home?" Joe asks.

"I don't know," Colby says. "I didn't get that far..."

"I guess I'll be suffering from Curb Stomp Syndome again today," Dean says. "Attacked before the match or whatever, found backstage, blah, blah, blah…"

"No. No, I wanna have our match," Colby says. "The fans deserve it."

"Colby, you can't wrestle like this," Joe says.

"Shut up, Joe. Yes he can," Dean says. "It's his choice."

"He could hurt himself or you."

"That's my problem. If you need this, man, I'm okay with it. And I'll be right there with you. You can beat the shit out of me, okay? It'll be fun, I promise. And it'll probably help."

"Dean..." Colby pauses, searching for the right response. He shrugs and finally just says, "Thanks."

"No problem. You're not alone, Colby. You've got me, and Joe, and April. We're all right here for you."

"I don't think I can go home... I can't make this real..."

"We can go with you," Dean says. "Well, I can, anyway. I shouldn't assume everyone else has no life."

"If you need us, you know we'll go anywhere for you," Joe adds.

"April?" Colby asks me.

"Don't worry about me," I say, assuming he is afraid to leave me alone. "I can crash with Saraya for a few days. You need your family right now."

"I want you to come with me," he says.

I blink at him. "You do?"

"You said I need my family, and you're right. All three of you qualify. I... Please? I don't think I can do this without you."

"Of course! I just didn't think you'd want me with you for this... I mean... I've been nothing but a burden to you and you don't need that right now and-"

He puts up his hand to stop my rambling. Then, in the gentlest, saddest voice he's ever used, he says, "I always want you with me, April. Always... Especially for something like this. You aren't my burden, you're my April, and I don't think you realize that I need you more than you've ever needed me."

I'm silent, because really, how do you reply to that? I stare at him. I still can't find the words. I stand in front of him. He pulls me into his arms as Joe and Dean give us some room. I kiss him for the second time in our lives, because that's really the only way to respond to his words, and this kiss is longer. I'm not afraid. I just want him to know how I feel about him, because he deserves that at the very least.

When I pull away, I see Dean laughing. "About time," He says. "I mean, seriously, the two of you- Ouch! What the fuck man?"

As he was talking, Joe punched his arm. "Leave them alone," Joe scolds him. "We're here for you, Colbs. All of us."

Colby nods. I can tell he's afraid if he talks, he'll choke up again. I don't know what any of this means for our friendship, but I do know I'm glad I can finally help him instead of needing him to rescue me.