Flora-Grace,

I've never been particularly great with words but today I struggle to even form a sentence. I doubt any of us will ever be able to put into words how we feel again. Having you in our lives for the last ten days has been an exhilarating mess. Complications arising during your birth left you fighting for your life and to have you in our lives as long as we did was more than we could have asked.

It's true though that I didn't want you in my life at all, that was until William dragged me to visit you when we got the phone call that both you and your mummy had taken a turn for the worst. Right in that moment I realised how much I love you; both of you.

When you weren't sedated it was magical watching you interacting with the lights of your hospital room and the voices of those around you. You certainly knew your Mummy and Ma's voices because every time they spoke your eyes snapped open. I only got to hold you twice in your short life but for those combined twenty minutes I will cherish the sight, smell and weight of you for the rest of my life.

Both Willie and I were asleep when we got the phone call that nothing else could be done for you. That news was far worse than hearing my Ma and Dad were separating; the phone call bought all our worlds down crashing around us. Together, with Granny and Alan, we raced to the hospital for your final moments.

We had five beautiful hours with you after that call. Each of us took it in turns to hold you and tell you stories without the interruption of bleeping machines. It was a peaceful death. Four hours after being taken off ventilation your tiny and fragile body succumbed to its incompatibility with life. You died peacefully in your Mummy arms with Ma right beside you and all of us surrounding them. In the background classical music played just as Mummy wished.

Your ten days of bitter-sweet life have taught me more than I have ever learnt before, or will ever learn again. You, Flora-Grace, have taught us to focus on the moment because nothing else matters. We're all understandably absolutely heartbroken at your passing and we often find ourselves questioning why you deserved this cruel twist of fate, but none of us can imagine the pain your Mummy and Ma are going through- and will continue to go through for the rest of their lives.

Your Mummy had longed for your existence for decades. We had all watched her excitedly prepare for your arrival; her chance to watch you grow under her watchful eye had been snatched away. Her eyes are now a constant shade of tinged grief, and her shoulders heavy with the weight of all our loss.

I promise with my utmost strength and love that I will spend the rest of my time here on Earth looking after Mummy and Ma. Our worlds have changed forever, but everything we do will be in your memory.

Fly high, our beautiful Flora-Grace.

All my love,

Your big and loving brother, Lawrence.