A/N: Sorry this came out later than I'd said it would. I was busier this last weekend than I thought I would be. But anyway, it's here now, and that's what matters, right?
"Last time on Total Drama House Party…" Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "We met the twenty teenagers who will be competing this season for a million dollars. I gave them the grand tour, and then immediately dropped them into their first challenge: a scavenger hunt for different flavored cans of soda that determined their teams. In the end, we came out with three teams: Team Flame, Team Thunder, and Team Chill. Team Flame got the short end of the stick as they not only ended up with only six members, but they got last place and have to endure the punishments. However, the other teams aren't perfect either. Team Thunder has Chappy and Preston, who should both cause some drama, while Team Chill has Kiki's Girls Alliance, which could cause a power struggle. What will end up happening? Find out, ya fool! Only on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
It was morning, and the sun began to rise over the backyard, which would ordinarily not mean anything – however, Team Flame were forced to sleep out there for the night and were not happy about the sun shining on them so early.
"Aw, five more minutes, mom…" Mac groaned as he struggled to stay asleep.
"Can I just get voted out already…?" CJ moaned as she rubbed her eyes.
"It's okay, guys," Barry smiled. "We may not have it well off now, but that means it can only get better."
"You're soooo optimistic, Barry," Rachel purred.
"I always like to look on the bright side," Barry said. "After all, there's always someone who has it worse."
"How could this possibly get worse?" Erica grumbled.
"No! Never ask that question!" Nolan gasped. "Everyone knows that asking things like that will only make things worse."
"Well it's not like it's going to rain," CJ said. "It's summertime. The rainy season is over."
Mac stood up and cracked his back. "Aw, yeah. That's the stuff," Mac grinned.
"So, how'd you guys sleep?" Barry asked.
"I slept alright," Nolan shrugged. "Wish I had an actual bed, but that's the trade-off for getting last place."
"How is it a trade-off? A trade-off implies that we get something in return," CJ told him.
"We get to spend quality time together," Rachel said as she winked at Nolan and Mac.
"Ugh. Gag me," Erica spat.
"Come on, Erica. Rachel's right," Barry agreed. "I think this is the perfect time to get to know each other. After all, if we're going to play this game as a team, we should get along. Synergy is the best way to win challenges."
Confessional:
Erica: I don't care about any of my teammates. Mac's creepy, Nolan's crazy, Rachel's disgusting, and CJ complains too much. Barry's the only one I don't want to strangle.
Nolan: I suppose it wouldn't hurt to at least get to know my teammates. After all, if we're on friendly terms, they'll be more inclined to vote my way. Or rather, the way the dice decide I vote.
Down in the basement, Team Thunder slept much easier than Team Flame did. Since there were only four beds, some teammates had to share a bed. In fact, Chappy was the only one who had his own bed, and even then only because he was too large for anyone else to fit in his bed.
Just then, a loud alarm clock started beeping, waking everybody up. Chappy got out of bed, walked up to the alarm clock, and smashed it with his fist.
"Not a morning person, huh?" Judy asked.
"That alarm clock was a reminder that we lost yesterday," Chappy growled. "We may not have won last time, but we will win every challenge from now on. You guys got that?"
"Uh, okay," Ziggy said.
"Look, we all want to win, but winning every challenge is easier said than done," Franklin said.
"Well then we're just going to have to try extra hard, aren't we?" Chappy said as he raised a fist to Franklin.
"Hey! You back off!" Susan said as she approached Chappy, only to trip and fall.
"Guys, guys, guys," Judy said in an attempt to break up the argument. "Chappy's right. In this game, winning challenges could mean the difference between getting a million dollars, or walking away with nothing."
"So you're siding with him, are you?" Preston asked.
"Hold on," Judy told him. "Chappy, you have to realize that we're all trying our hardest here and that, despite that, sometimes we will lose challenges."
"Well then it seems your hardest isn't good enough!" Chappy snapped. "And if any of you are the reason we lose a challenge, you will be voted out, you got that?"
"…Okay…" Bailey squeaked in fear.
Confessional:
Chappy: Look, I will be winning this game, and I will be winning these challenges. Losing will not be tolerated on my team, and I'm making sure they know that.
Franklin: Chappy is insane. People lose challenges; it's just a fact of life in this game. If he can't realize that, he'll likely be the first one on our team to lose the game.
Everyone was now eating breakfast in the dining hall. Team Chill was currently being served waffles and bacon by Yolonda.
"Waffles? Awesome!" David exclaimed. "How'd you know waffles were my favorite?"
"I didn't, but I'll be sure to keep that in mind, sugar," Yolonda winked as she gave David an extra waffle.
"Nice!" David said as he began to sloppily dig in to his waffles.
"Does the phrase 'table manners' mean anything to you?" Lauren asked in disgust. She turned to Jilly for affirmation, only to find that Jilly was eating her waffles in the same messy way.
"Dude, David, that Yolonda chick is totally into you," Tucker said with a nudge.
"You think?" David asked with his mouth full.
"Tucker thinks so. You're lucky, dude. Yolonda's hot," Tucker said.
"Personally I think she deserves better, but I'm not sure if she'd be interested," Lauren thought aloud.
"Hey, Lauren, could you pass the salt? Pretty please?" Spankety asked.
Lauren just looked at Spankety as if Spankety had said something rude to her.
"Pretty please with sugar on top?" Spankety pouted.
"Ernie, could you pass the salt to the clown?" Lauren asked.
"Why do I have to do it?" Ernie asked.
"Because I asked you to," Lauren replied.
"But Spankety asked you to," Ernie rebutted.
Kiki facepalmed as she passed Spankety the salt.
"Thanks, Kiki!" Spankety smiled.
Confessional:
Lauren: That clown girl – I refuse to call her by that foolish nickname – kind of gets on my nerves. Clowns are creepy as hell, and I think she knows it, because it's almost kind of disturbing how happy she is all the time.
David: Do you guys think Yolonda's into me? I don't know her all that well, but she is pretty hot. I thought she seemed like the flirty type, but she gave me another waffle, and I've been wrong before, so who knows?
Meanwhile, Team Flame was enjoying their tap water and white bread as much as they could. They were all very hungry from being deprived of dinner the previous night, and anything would suffice at this point.
"This isn't fair," CJ stated. "I shouldn't even be here, let alone being treated like this."
"That's the hand fate dealt us I guess," Nolan said. "Only in this game, folding is permanent, so we just have to take the gamble."
"Nolan's right," Rachel said. "Besides, now's as good a time as any to get to know each other. Riiiiight, Barry?"
"Totally. Who wants to start?" Barry asked.
"Ooh! Me!" Mac raised his hand. "My name's Mackenzie Hurst. I'm 16 years old and I love pain and everything about it! Dealing, receiving, it's all good!"
"So you'd have no problem beating the crap out of anybody?" Erica asked.
"Well, I usually only hurt people who I think deserve it. Or myself. Whichever's more convenient, I guess," Mac shrugged.
"I'm surprised you haven't tried to hurt me yet," Erica grumbled.
"Why would I?" Mac cocked his head to the side in confusion.
"Because I'm a disgusting freak who scares children! How is that not deserving of a punch?!" Erica snapped.
"Erica, listen to me," Barry said calmingly. "You are not disgusting, and you are not a freak. You're a lovely child of God and you definitely don't deserve to get hurt because of what's on the outside."
"…I don't need your pity!" Erica got up and left the table as quickly as she could so no one would notice her blushing.
The five other members of Team Flame were silent as they watched Erica leave.
"Okay, so who wants to talk about themselves next?" Rachel asked.
Confessional:
Rachel: The nice thing about my team is that there's zero chance that the other girls can get in the way of my plan. CJ's easily going to be the first one gone, so she's no problem, and Erica can't even hold a normal conversation without storming off. Nolan might not be easy to get on my side thanks to his stupid dice, but Barry and Mac seem nice and gullible, so that should help.
Erica: Does Barry even know what he's doing? How come people like Barry are even allowed to exist?! There should be a law against it! I'm voting him out as soon as I can! Asshole!
Chappy sat alone in the hall where the first-place rooms were.
"I should be in one of these rooms right now," he said to himself. "This is bullcrap!"
"I agree," Preston said as he approached Chappy and sat next to him. "We really do have some weak links on our team. It's not your fault we didn't win."
"Heh. No *bleep*!" Chappy scoffed. "Those two girls who are always with that one-eyed kid are holdin' us back. We should vote 'em out!"
"Good call," Preston said.
"Hey guys. What's up?" Judy asked as she noticed the two boys sitting down.
"Oh, I was just listening to Chappy talk about how we're in second place," Preston said.
"He seems to be taking it better than he did before," Judy said. "Are you helping him deal with losing better?"
"Isn't that what you're doing?" Preston asked.
"Who's to say we can't both do it?" Judy asked. "What do you think, Chappy?"
"Yeah, whatever. Just as long as we get first in this next challenge," Chappy said sternly.
Confessional:
Judy: I think Chappy, Preston, and I could make a good trio. We're all relatively strong physically, and Preston seems really smart too, so we're a double-threat! I wonder what Franklin's trio would think. And what about Ziggy? Where would he fall? Oh well. This is for Chappy's sake, not strategy, so I guess it doesn't matter.
Preston: I came up to Chappy in order to form an alliance. After all, if we have someone like him on our team, there's no reason to vote me out. I lucked out with Judy coming by too, because it seems like she'd vote with Chappy, and she'll be helpful in challenges as well. I could probably also get Ziggy on our side, but not now. You have to take your time with these things so it looks natural.
Kiki, Lauren, Spankety, and Jilly all went to the rec room to hold an alliance meeting.
"Okay, girls. Alliance meeting," Kiki told them.
"Yo, that's what's up!" Jilly replied.
"What's the meeting for?" Spankety asked.
"I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page," Kiki said. "I noticed some tension between Lauren and Spankety at breakfast and I just wanted to make sure everything's okay."
"I didn't notice any tension," Spankety said innocently.
"Do you even comprehend emotions besides 'super happy gleeful happy'?" Lauren asked sardonically.
"Yes. I understand regular happy just fine," Spankety said, somewhat hurt. "What's wrong with being happy anyway?"
"Nothing's wrong with being happy. I enjoy being happy, in fact," Lauren said. "My problem with you is that you're a clown, which is just creepy and unnatural."
"Oh no! I didn't mean to creep you out!" Spankety gasped. "I'm really sorry, honest!"
"Like, why would you even want to become a clown anyway?" Lauren asked.
"Well, one time at school I met this girl named Vikki, who's also a clown, and…" Spankety started.
"It was a rhetorical question!" Lauren snapped.
"Lauren, I think you need to calm down," Kiki told her.
"Whatever. I'm getting breakfast," Lauren said as she went for the door.
"We already had breakfast," Kiki reminded her.
"Well I'm getting second breakfast!" Lauren insisted.
"Okay… meeting adjourned I guess," Kiki shrugged. She, Jilly, and Spankety all left the rec room.
As soon as they left, Ernie peeked his head out from behind the pool table.
Confessional:
Ernie: So I decide to, like, take a nap in the rec room, and what should happen but the girls on my team basically telling me they're all in an alliance. Not only that, but Lauren hates Spankety, which I could, ya know, like, use to my advantage or something.
Spankety: I didn't know Lauren didn't like clowns! How sad that must be! Clowns are the sources of happiness for the world, and Lauren… I can't even imagine. Poor girl… I think she needs ten billion hugs! That should help her out!
Nolan and CJ were currently in the video game room as CJ watched Nolan play Dance Dance Revolution. He had just finished dancing and was taking a break.
"You don't have to follow me everywhere, you know," Nolan panted. "I know we're in an alliance, but that doesn't mean you have to stay with me all the time."
"What else am I even supposed to do?" CJ asked. "I don't know anyone else because there's no point, and there's nothing else to do here."
"Come on, I'm sure that's not true," Nolan told her. "You could hang out with another person from Team Flame."
"Like who?" CJ scoffed. "You're the closest thing to a tolerable person on our team."
"Barry's nice," Nolan shrugged.
"Yeah, too nice," CJ said.
"Alright then. Just don't complain to me about not having allies," Nolan said.
"Why would I? I don't care," CJ reminded him.
Confessional:
Nolan: I'm already starting to regret letting CJ join me in an alliance. Granted, I didn't really have a say in the matter, but I do wish I'd landed an ally who actually wanted to win the game.
CJ: You see, normally I would just keep to myself and not hang out with anyone. But… gah, I can't believe I'm about to admit this! I don't have many friends at home, and Nolan's the first person to talk to me since I don't know how long. I'm going to milk it for as long as I can until I'm eliminated. Hey, I may be dry and antisocial, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy company every once in a while. Besides, it'll be over quickly anyway, so it's not a big deal.
Franklin, Susan, and Bailey were currently on the balcony that overlooked the backyard.
"I just can't stand it," Susan pouted. "How can anyone on our team take Chappy's side?"
"…Um… well…" Bailey started.
"Judy didn't really take his side per se," Franklin assured her. "She just pointed out the points of view of both sides in an attempt to synergize. Rather noble intentions, I'd say."
"I guess, but still," Susan said. "It just makes me so flustered when someone plays devil's advocate. Why can't good be good and bad be bad? It makes things so much simpler that way!"
"Sadly that's not how the world works," Franklin said. "Sometimes good people can do bad things and sometimes bad people can do good things."
"When do bad people ever do good things?" Susan asked.
"Well, my parents would get me McDonald's every Thursday when I was a kid, before…" Franklin quickly caught himself. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything"
"Alright. I just wish people would be up-front about who they are," Susan said. "What if Judy really is a bad person?"
"I don't think she is," Franklin said. "I think she's a good person who just likes to involve herself in the business of others."
"I don't know. I'm confused. I'm going to use the restroom." Susan stood up and left for the bathroom. Franklin and Bailey looked at each other in concern as she did so.
Confessional:
Franklin: I'm not sure what Susan has against a middle ground when it comes to morality. Maybe she has some demons from her past, like I do. Maybe I should talk with her.
Bailey: (She is reading from a paper) I think I understand what's going on with Susan. While she is my best friend in the game, even I can't help but acknowledge that she is not the most intelligent contestant in this game. I have the feeling she doesn't comprehend the idea of grey morality – all she sees is black and white. I wonder how she managed to get that way. Perhaps I'll ask her later today.
Tucker was currently in one of the first-class rooms, searching through someone's luggage.
"Come on, come on, come on. Come to Tucker…" Tucker grinned as he continued searching.
"Do I want to know what you're doing?" David asked as he entered the room.
"It's called the Tucker Double Whammy," Tucker grinned.
"Great," David said sarcastically. "Whose room is this, anyway?"
"Spankety's," Tucker said as he pulled a pair of blue panties with pink polka-dots out from the suitcase. "And Bingo was his name-o!"
"You're stealing her underwear, aren't you?!" David accused.
"You know it. Oh, but here's the best part." Tucker took a large, rubber spider from his pocket and placed it in the suitcase. "This is gonna be great," Tucker beamed.
"I thought you said you didn't prank girls," David said angrily.
"Tucker doesn't prank hot girls," Tucker said smugly. "And let's face it: clowns aren't hot. There's probably someone out there who thinks they are, but that person isn't Tucker. Her panties, however, are another story."
"What if I tell on you?!" David threatened. "What would you do about that?"
"Tell some convincing lies of course," Tucker smirked. "Tucker could easily pin the crime on you. Is that what you want?"
"Well… no…" David confessed.
"Good. Then we have a deal. You don't rat on Tucker, and Tucker doesn't pin it on you," Tucker said. "What they don't know can't hurt them, right?" Tucker chuckled as he left Spankety's room.
Confessional:
Tucker: The nice thing about being discovered by David is that David is a moron. If it were someone smarter, like Lauren, Tucker might be in deep trouble. Thankfully Tucker got lucky. If this keeps up, Tucker could have David in his back pocket. Heheheh.
David: I just don't know what to do, man. I want to tell the truth, but if I do, Tucker's just going to turn it around on me and I could end up going home. Normally when I'm upset I go play my guitar, but I don't think there's anywhere with amps in here, so basically I'm stuck.
The twenty houseguests were all gathered in the foyer by the request of Hatchet.
"Alright, kids, LISTEN UP!" Hatchet barked. "It's time for your first challenge." Hatchet approached the front door and opened it.
"Cool, is the game over already?" CJ asked with a smile.
"Shut your trap, CJ," Hatchet responded. "Outside the front gate is a bus that will take y'all to the site of our first challenge. Get on board the Bus of Horrors so we can get this underway."
Hatchet gestured towards the open door, which prompted the contestants to exit the house. Sure enough, the gate was open and there was an open bus waiting for them to board it. One by one, the teenagers all entered the bus and took a seat. Hatchet was the last person to board, as he sat on the driver's seat and closed the bus doors.
"Alright, kids. Let's do this!" Hatchet said as the bus started moving.
On the bus, a lot of people were restless to discover what the first challenge would be.
"I wonder why we'd need to use a bus to get to this challenge," Susan thought aloud.
"Probably because it's far away and the bus is an efficient way to carry a lot of people to one place," Ziggy shrugged.
"…Yeah, you're probably right," Susan agreed.
"I just wanna know what the challenge is gonna be," Jilly said.
"I hope it's something painful," Mac grinned.
"Knowing this show, that's entirely possible," Franklin said with a slight shudder.
"It don't matter what the challenge is, because Team Thunder will be getting first place," Chappy gloated.
"I'm sure," Kiki remarked under her breath.
In the back of the bus, Tucker was grinning pervertedly at Spankety.
"Hi, Tucker. How's your day?" Spankety asked cheerily.
"Oh, Tucker's day has been just fine. Heheheheh," Tucker chuckled.
"That's good. You have a big smile on your face, and if there's one thing a clown loves to see, it's a smile. So you're making me happy too!" Spankety smiled.
"Well what do you know? You're the reason Tucker is so happy today. Er, you must be doing a very good job at being a clown."
"Aw, thanks!"
David, who overheard the entire conversation, gripped his seat hard in order to keep himself under control.
"What's the matter with you?" Erica, his seat partner, asked. "Nope, don't even answer that. I know the reason. I don't like sitting with me either, but sometimes we just have to deal, don't we?"
"Alright, kids! Calm yourselves down! We're here!" Hatchet announced.
As the contestants exited the bus, the first thing they noticed was what looked to be a very large play structure that could easily have been the size of the McLean Mansion. The ground was entirely covered in bark, and the area had a large structure of red-, yellow-, and blue-colored plastic which had slides, monkey bars, swings, and the like all connected to it.
"Welcome… to the Playground of Pain!" Hatchet bellowed.
Confessional:
Mac: This… this is the greatest thing that's ever happened! A playground dedicated to the very idea of pain! Heeheehahaha! I'm in heaven!
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) I theorize that the first reaction one would have to such a place would be one of fear or discomfort. I, however, find the idea of a 'Playground of Pain' to be quite beneficial to our team. With such extroverted members of our team as Chappy, Judy, and Susan enclosed in a house for a majority of the game, it's refreshing to learn that they can let their energy out in such a wide, open area. Thanks to this Playground of Pain, these teammates of ours won't be so high-strung and as such will be less stressed, which will benefit everyone involved. Yay.
Jilly: Aw yeah, this is DOPE!
"Listen up and listen good," Hatchet commanded. "Since the McLean Mansion ain't exactly fit for physical challenges that require wide-open spaces, we commissioned this large play structure to be built to serve that purpose. Using Chris's money of course. Heheheheh."
The contestants looked at each other warily.
"Our first challenge is one y'all might be familiar with," Hatchet said. "A childhood favorite known as The Floor is Lava!"
"You can't be serious," CJ said flatly.
"I'm dead serious, girl! Now, for those who don't know how this game works, allow me to explain it to you," Hatchet said as he paced back and forth in front of the contestants. "The twenty of you will get on that big play structure. You have two goals: Goal One is to push your opponents off the structure. Goal Two is to avoid getting pushed off yourself. The team whose members all hit the bark first will be in last place and will face elimination tonight."
"Oh no!" Susan gasped.
"Oh yes!" Hatchet responded menacingly. "Anyway, after that team loses, y'all will still be competing for first place, so don't forget! Any questions?"
Nobody seemed to have any questions.
"Alright. Time to start the challenge! Move, maggots, MOVE!" Hatchet barked.
The twenty houseguests were now all scattered across the play structure, waiting for Hatchet's signal to start the challenge.
"Are you maggots ready?!" Hatchet asked rhetorically.
"Most definitely," Tucker grinned.
Hatchet procured an air horn from his pocket and set it off. The loud wail of the horn signified that the challenge had begun.
"Welp, see you guys at elimination," CJ said as she jumped off the play structure.
"Oh come on!" Erica whined. "We're already one behind!"
"Mac, you want to take this challenge by the horns?" Barry asked.
"You read my mind. Heeheehahaha!" Mac cackled.
Mac dashed up to Ziggy, picked him up, and tossed him off the play structure.
"Ow," Ziggy winced.
"And CJ and Ziggy are already out of the challenge!" Hatchet announced.
Confessional:
Barry: Mac and I are both physical threats, which should come in handy in Playground challenges. Mac especially gives us an upper hand thanks to his, er, affinity towards physical pain. Not saying I'm okay with hurting others, but so far he hasn't done anything I'd really object to, which is nice.
Jilly and Lauren decided to pair up for the challenge.
"Alright! Who should we go for?" Jilly asked. "Should we take out the smaller guys, or work together and take out the big guys?"
"Let's settle for the small ones. We have our own big guys to take out their big guys," Lauren yawned.
"We do?" Jilly asked as she glanced at Ernie, who was taking a nap on the play structure, as well as Tucker, who placed a rubber spider on Ernie's head.
"Well, we have David," Lauren shrugged.
Right when she finished saying that, David fell off a set of monkeybars as he tried to swing across them.
"Aw, come on!" David groaned.
"David is out!" Hatchet announced.
"Alright then. Let's try for Judy," Lauren smirked. "If we get her off, that'd cost Team Thunder big time."
"That's what's up!" Jilly agreed.
"Great. Let's go."
Confessional:
Lauren: Snrk. The actual reason I picked Judy is because she easily has the best body of the ladies here. Maybe if I get physical with her here, she'd be willing to get physical later on, if you know what I'm saying.
Chappy was currently prepping himself for the challenge by cracking his neck and knuckles.
"With you on our team, we're going to be unstoppable," Preston told him. "Plus, we have Franklin and Judy as well. This challenge is as good as ours."
"You got that right," Chappy agreed. "This time we'll be getting first, as it should be!"
"Indeed. It honestly shocks me that we got a mere second last time," Preston said.
"Last time was all chance. This time, we can really show our stuff," Chappy spat.
Preston was about to respond, but he paused when a set of dice rolled up to his feet.
"Excuse me, fellows," Nolan said peacefully as he approached them. He glanced down at the dice. "Hm. It seems that my strategy in this challenge is to assist my fellow teammates to eliminate threats on the other team. Not my first choice, but I'll take it. Now, if you'll excuse me-"
Nolan stepped out of the way as Chappy lunged towards him. Chappy, due to his momentum, kept running and ended up running right off the edge.
"Chappy is out!" Hatchet announced.
"Aw hell no!" Chappy swore.
"Don't worry, Chappy. We'll get first place yet," Preston assured him. He turned to Nolan. "I can't help but admire your dodging tactic. I'll let you go this once if you promise not to get me out for the rest of the challenge. Deal?"
"Deal," Nolan nodded as the two went their separate ways.
Susan, Rachel, Kiki, and Spankety all found themselves confronting one another in the middle of one of the play structures.
"As we stood on the play structure, one thing crossed our minds. Invincibility. The one thing that ensured that we stay in the running for a million dollars hung in the balance of this encounter. Who would come out on top? Would it be Susan, the quirky yet clumsy girl? Rachel, the flirtatious girl? Or perhaps Kiki and Spankety, the two best friends who-"
"Spankety? What are you doing?" Kiki interrupted.
"Providing the voiceover for our confrontation. It makes it all cool and dramatic-y," Spankety beamed.
"So, how are we going to go about this?" Rachel asked.
"Two on two? Us versus Team Chill?" Susan suggested to Rachel.
"I'll take Spankety, you take Kiki?" Rachel suggested back.
"Sounds good to me," Susan replied.
"I'm glad we get input on this," Kiki said as she rolled her eyes. "Spankety, let's team up on Rachel."
"Hey, that's not fair. We decided," Susan pouted as Kiki and Spankety both started pushing Rachel towards the edge.
"It was Kiki's quick thinking that put Team Chill in the lead. She and her best friend, Spankety, both began to push on Rachel in order to get her out of the challenge. All Susan could do was stand there helplessly as-"
Spankety's voiceover was cut off by Susan pushing on Spankety and Kiki, causing all four girls to tumble off the edge of the play structure.
"Susan, Kiki, Spankety, and Rachel are all out!" Hatchet announced. "That leaves all three teams at four each."
"See, now if you just listened to us…" Rachel giggled.
"Don't say a word," Kiki said flatly.
Confessional:
Kiki: It's not my fault. My parents always told me how brilliant I am from a young age. I'm used to my ideas going off without a hitch. Obviously nobody's perfect, but come on!
Rachel: I guess I took them down with me, didn't I? Hmhm. I suppose I should thank Susan later for pulling that move. I didn't think she had it in her.
Susan: I dunno what happened. It just came to me. Didn't turn out so well for me since I fell off, but I think taking out three of my opponents is worth it. Shame, too. They all seemed like such nice girls.
Erica sat cross-legged in the middle of a slide, refusing to go the rest of the way down.
"Hello, Erica. How fare you?" Nolan greeted.
"Don't give me that," Erica sneered.
"Right. Well, at the behest of my dice, I will be assisting my teammates to take out the larger threats in this challenge," Nolan told her.
"So why are you talking to me about it?" Erica asked.
"Well, I had assumed you would be participating in the challenge. However, it seems that, based on your current position, you aren't willing to help. Is that an accurate assumption?" Nolan asked.
"Why are you talking like that? It's annoying," Erica responded.
"Ah, well, for the duration of the challenge, I will be acting as the calculating gentleman, as per usual when I roll a seven," Nolan explained.
"Why don't you go help Mac or Barry or something?" Erica growled.
"As you wish," Nolan said simply as he turned to leave Erica alone. When he turned, though, he was face-to-face with Judy.
"Sorry, Nolan. You're time's up," Judy smiled slightly as she pushed Nolan down the slide, causing him and Erica to fall to the bark below.
"And there go Nolan and Erica!" Hatchet announced.
Confessional:
Nolan: Real talk: I hope Erica goes soon. She's very rude and acts simultaneously like the biggest martyr and the most self-righteous person I've ever met. How is that even possible?
Erica: Why should I bother participating in the challenge? It's not like it'll earn anyone's respect, and besides, CJ's already volunteered to be the first boot on our team.
Franklin and Bailey patrolled together for the challenge.
"…Th-thanks… for… staying with me…" Bailey managed to say.
"You're welcome," Franklin smiled. "I wouldn't want my friend to be… afraid and alone…" Franklin's smile dropped into a serious scowl for a brief second.
"Are you okay…?" Bailey asked.
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me," Franklin told her without making eye contact.
"Well well well. Look who it is," Tucker smirked as he approached the two. "Cyclops and Mumbles. How's it been?"
"What do you want, Tucker?" Franklin sighed.
"Well, Tucker really wants a harem of gorgeous women who refer to him as 'Master' and will do whatever he commands, buuuut, he'll also settle for getting you two out of the challenge," Tucker chuckled.
"You can feel free to try, but I'm both taller and stronger than you, and Bailey is a girl, and you wouldn't hit a girl, would you?" Franklin asked.
"Eh. Depends on if she's hot or not," Tucker shrugged. "And to be honest, she's like a four maybe."
Franklin grabbed Tucker by the collar of his shirt, hung him over the edge of the play structure, and dropped him.
"…Thanks," Bailey smiled.
"No problem. People like him really need to be taken down a peg," Franklin said with a shake of his head.
The two of them tried to walk away, but a hand grabbed Franklin's ankle.
"Huh?!" Franklin turned his head to see Tucker hanging onto the play structure by one hand and holding onto Franklin with the other.
"Tucker won't go down so easily!" Tucker shouted. He let go of the play structure and began to pull on Franklin's ankle, causing the both of them to fall off the structure.
"Franklin and Tucker are out!" Hatchet announced.
"Oh no…" Bailey shuddered.
Confessional:
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) I'm not really one for confrontations, and it was at this moment, with the loss of Franklin, that I was considering dropping out from the challenge altogether. However, I knew that, meek though I may be, my team was depending on me to win. Any disadvantage in the challenge could spell the difference between facing elimination or not, and that's not something I want to risk.
Tucker: Tucker can't help but wonder what kind of panties Mumbles wears. Yeah, sure, she's not hot or anything, but panties, no matter the owner, are always hot. Tucker has a bit of a fetish for them. Heheheheh.
Barry and Mac were working together to find and pick off members of the other team. They had already taken out Preston and Jilly and were looking for more people to go against.
"So, Mac. I'm curious: when did you figure out you had a thing for pain?" Barry asked.
"I dunno, man. It's been a thing as long as I can remember," Mac said. "When I was a kid, it led me to a lot of injuries. But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Heeheehahaha!"
"I guess so. I trust you know what you're doing," Barry said. "Hey, is that guy sleeping?" he asked as he pointed to Ernie, who was napping against a wall on the play structure.
"Well. That was easy. Heeheehahaha!" Mac cackled as he picked Ernie up, spun him around, and tossed him off the play structure.
"And Ernie is out!" Hatchet announced.
"Wow. He's a heavy sleeper," Barry noted as he saw that Ernie was still asleep.
Confessional:
Ernie: Heh. I was never actually asleep. I just knew that I'd, ya know, do better in the challenge by, like, doing nothing and staying out of the way than I would by taking action. I outlasted David, didn't I?
Lauren found her way to Judy and decided to strike up a conversation.
"Hey, Judy, how's it going?" Lauren asked informally.
"You're Lauren, right? It's going well. How about with you?" Judy responded.
"Can't complain, can't complain. Only… there is one thing…" Lauren trailed off.
"Oh no. Is there anything I can do to help?" Judy asked with concern.
"I guess, if you want," Lauren admitted. "You see, it's been so long since I've made out with a girl, and my libido's going out of control, and it's clouding everything else. I just can't take it anymore!"
"Oh, well, I can't say I'm comfortable with kissing other girls, but-" Judy was cut off by Lauren holding a finger to the former's mouth.
"Shh shh shhhhh. It's okay. I understand," Lauren said. She then gave a powerful push to Judy, causing the athletic girl to stumble back and fall off the play structure.
"And down goes Judy!" Hatchet announced.
Confessional:
Lauren: So, Judy doesn't want to kiss me, huh? That sucks. I bet she'd be heavenly. Lovely tan like that, and those legs, oh my gosh. Oh well. I'm sure I'll find some way to curb my libido.
Judy: I'm sure Lauren is a perfectly nice person, but she does come off rather strong, doesn't she? I'm glad we're not on the same team, because I'm still not entirely sure how to deal with that when talking to her.
Bailey wandered nervously around the play structure, hoping that nobody would find her and throw her off.
"Oh my…" Bailey shuddered.
Confessional:
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) Apparently I was the last one on my team left at the end of the challenge. Needless to say, I was rather anxious that I would cost our team the challenge. I don't see how one could blame me, seeing as how I was up against two large young men and a girl who is both taller and thinner than I am. I figured I'd just let things flow naturally and hopefully I'd be the last girl standing.
Bailey hid herself behind a wall on the play structure as Barry and Mac met up with Lauren near the middle.
"So, it's come down to this," Mac grinned.
"Hold on, isn't there still someone from Team Thunder in this?" Barry asked.
"Yeah, that short chubby girl," Lauren answered.
Bailey frowned at being called 'chubby', but she did not react verbally.
"Do you think we should go find her?" Barry asked.
"Be my guest. Mac here and I can duke it out just fine," Lauren assured with a crack of her neck.
Bailey tried to sneak off, but since she wasn't far from the other three, it wasn't difficult for Barry to find her.
"Hey, Bailey. Mac, Lauren and I are going to finish the challenge up over there. Would you like to join us?" Barry asked.
"No thanks…" Bailey replied softly.
"Are you sure? We were really hoping you'd join us," Barry said with a slight frown.
"I'm sure…" Bailey assured him.
"Okay, but if you ever change your mind, I'll be over there," Barry reminded her.
"I know," Bailey said flatly.
"Cool. I'll let them know you're over here," Barry said.
"No!" Bailey gasped as she grabbed Barry and pushed him off the edge.
"Barry is out!" Hatchet announced.
"…What was that?" Barry asked as he rubbed his head.
Confessional:
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) I suppose I neglected to mention this before, but I take my introversion very seriously. If someone insists on drawing the attention of strangers or enemies to me, I have a tendency to snap and try to avoid it by any means necessary. I believe it to be a natural reflex.
Lauren and Mac continued to push each other towards the edge of the play structure. Mac, being the bigger and stronger of the two, was making better progress. Lauren was right next to the edge with Mac pushing against her.
"Oh man, this is going to be great," Mac grinned. "I get to win a challenge by causing others pain! How amazing is this?! Heeheehahaha!"
"It's not… over… yet…" Lauren grunted as she attempted to push back.
Bailey tried to sneak past the two, but Lauren took notice.
"Hey, is that Bailey?" Lauren asked.
"Huh?" Mac turned his head to look, and sure enough, there she was.
Lauren used this distraction to her advantage as she pushed Mac away from her, only for him to push back harder, causing Lauren to fall off the play structure and onto the bark.
"Lauren is out! Team Chill takes last place and will be votin' someone out tonight!" Hatchet announced.
"Goddammit!" Lauren swore.
Confessional:
Lauren: Ah, whatever. I may have lost the challenge, and I may have turned Judy off to making out with me, but it's no skin off my nose. I'm in an alliance of four on a team of seven. I'm safe.
Mac approached Bailey with a large, almost creepy smile.
"Are you ready to taste the pain?" Mac giggled.
"No…" Bailey whimpered as she backed away from him.
"Come on, please? It won't hurt that bad," Mac assured.
"…" Bailey squeaked.
"Well, if you don't want it from me, you can expect it from the ground," Mac shrugged.
"Huh?" Bailey turned around to find that she was inches from the edge of the play structure. She sighed and dropped out.
"Bailey is out and Team Thunder takes second! Team Flame wins first place!" Hatchet announced.
"Come on!" Chappy bellowed.
"At least we're not in last," Ziggy said. Chappy glared at him, which shut him up.
"Team Chill, meet me in the foyer at 2100 hours sharp. Everyone else: DISMISSED!" Hatchet shouted.
Kiki had gathered Lauren, Jilly, and Spankety in one of the bathrooms to discuss strategy.
"Alright, girls. Obviously we'll be voting out one of the guys," Kiki said.
"Aw, that sounds so mean though," Spankety frowned.
"It's part of the game. You lose a challenge, you vote someone out," Lauren said in annoyance.
"Right, and the guys are the only ones not aligned with us," Kiki said. "That being said, I'd like to vote out Tucker. Of the three, he grates on me the most."
"I agree, man. The way he talks about himself in the third person is just… weird," Jilly agreed.
"Because none of us are weird in any way," Lauren giggled sarcastically.
"Aw, but I liked Tucker," Spankety frowned. "He was funny."
"Is there anyone you don't like?" Lauren asked spitefully.
"Well, that Osama guy seemed like kind of a meanie," Spankety admitted.
Confessional:
Kiki: I think I can trust my alliance members to vote out Tucker. I think after hearing 'Tucker thinks you're totally hot,' they should be more than willing to throw a vote his way.
Spankety: I hope Lauren learns to like clowns soon. How can she learn to love if she cannot learn to laugh?
Ernie, David, and Tucker were currently meeting in the rec room.
"So, why'd you call us all in here?" David asked.
"Yeah, Tucker has things to do," Tucker added.
"Okay, so, I actually overheard that the girls on our team are all in an alliance, so I was thinking we should, ya know, form an alliance of our own, so we could, like, fight back or something," Ernie explained.
"Cool. So who are we voting for?" David asked.
"I'm thinking Spankety," Ernie said.
"Weirdo clown girl? Fine be Tucker," Tucker shrugged.
"Why her?" David asked.
"Well, it turns out Lauren doesn't really like Spankety all that much, so if I get her to, ya know, vote for her, we can get the four votes we need to, like, get her voted out. This could be our only chance to get rid of the girls' majority, ya know?"
"I guess that makes sense," David decided.
"Tucker's down with voting out Spankety," Tucker agreed.
"Cool. I'm'a go, like talk to Lauren and see if I can't get her vote. Toodles," Ernie said as he left the room.
Confessional:
David: I'd honestly prefer to vote out Tucker, so I can get this whole 'panty thief' secret off my chest, but Ernie seems to know what he's doing. I'm what you might call an 'idiot savant'. When it comes to metal, I'm second to none, but everything else… kinda foreign to me. Since Ernie has the strategy thing down, I think I should just listen to him, even if that means keeping Tucker.
Tucker: Spankety's the perfect one to vote out. Since Tucker already has her most intimate possession, we might as well get rid of her before she figures it out. Although, even if she did, she'd probably forgive Tucker anyway. Heheheh.
Lauren was all by herself, sunbathing in the backyard.
"You know, if losing means I can stay out hear and catch some rays, I think I'd be okay with losing form time to time," Lauren sighed contentedly.
"Hey, Lauren," Ernie said as he walked outside.
"What is it Ernie?" Lauren asked.
"Alright, so, the guys and I were talking, and, like, we wanted to know if you would be okay with voting out Spankety tonight," Ernie told her.
"Spankety, you say?" Lauren asked as she directed her attention to Ernie. "I'm interested."
"We just feel like Spankety has the best social game of the others on our team, and we were wondering if you wanted to, ya know, join us in voting her out. No doubt you'd have the best social game if Spankety left," Ernie explained.
"You raise some good points," Lauren admitted. "I'll consider it."
"I trust you'll make the right decision," Ernie said as he left her be.
Confessional:
Ernie: The good of the game, like, relies on how Lauren votes tonight. If Tucker leaves, I'm as good as screwed. If Spankety leaves, I could, ya know, take control of the entire team. Time will tell, I suppose.
Lauren: Am I really considering voting out someone in my alliance? Of course I am. Spankety is obnoxious and needs to have that painted-on smile wiped off her face. Of course, Ernie went up and basically told me to vote out Spankety like he's the big man on campus, so maybe I will vote for Tucker just to spite him. Decisions, decisions…
David found Spankety standing in the middle of one of the halls trying to juggle four balls at once.
"Hey, Spankety?" David asked.
"Why, if it isn't David. Howdy-do, David!" Spankety greeted.
"Uh, howdy-do," David replied awkwardly. "Look, there's something I hafta tell you."
"David, I think it's sweet that you like me, but-"
"What? No, that's not it!" David insisted. "Don't tell anyone I told you this, but Tucker stole a pair of your panties earlier today and is going to vote you out tonight at the elimination."
"But why would Tucker do that? Tucker seems like such a nice boy," Spankety said.
"He does?" David asked. "Tucker's the short Jewish one who pulls pranks on people."
"Yeah, I know," Spankety smiled.
"Okay, just, be careful, alright?" David asked.
"Will do!"
Confessional:
David: I figured I might as well warn Spankety that she's about to go. It's the least I could do.
Spankety: David's so silly. Heehee.
The seven members of Team Chill sat on one of the couches in the foyer. Hatchet came down the grand staircase carrying what looked like an ice box. He set the ice box down next to him as he stood across from the contestants.
"Contestants! Welcome to your first elimination ceremony!" Hatchet greeted. "It seems that one of you will be the first one to leave this game."
"What's the ice box all about?" Jilly asked.
"This season, your symbols of safety will be cans of soda," Hatchet explained. "That's why the last hidden soda from our first challenge will serve as an automatic symbol of safety and will prevent you from being eliminated if ya play it at an elimination ceremony."
"Interesting…" Kiki muttered.
"Awright, the first soda goes to… Lauren!" Hatchet said as he pulled a soda from the ice box and tossed it to Lauren, who caught it.
"Jilly."
"David."
"Kiki."
"Ernie."
Tucker and Spankety sat in anticipation for who would receive the final can of soda.
"Huh. Voted for Tucker, huh? How cute," Tucker smirked.
All Spankety could muster was a scared frown.
"Tucker and Spankety. One of y'all is safe. The other must walk out the Door of Shame and take the Taxi of Shame out of here."
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"…Tucker, you are safe."
"Alright. Tucker lives on another day!" Tucker cheered as he caught the soda Hatchet tossed to him.
"Spankety, it's time for you to go," Hatchet told the clown girl.
Spankety had nothing to say. Her face was frozen in an open-mouthed frown. She looked to her teammates, then to Hatchet, then to the Door of Shame.
"I'm sorry, girl," Hatchet said solemnly.
Spankety was clearly holding back tears as she trudged out of the McLean Mansion.
"Well, if tonight proved anythin', it's that you never know where your loyalties lie. I'll escort you to the backyard now."
Confessional:
Kiki: What happened?! We had four votes on our side for Tucker. Me, Spankety, Jilly, and…. LAUREN! (she facepalms) Goddammit, Lauren! She hated Spankety! How did I not see this coming?! Well, rest assured, this is not the last you'll see of Kiki Koizumi! I'll strike back! Somehow…
"And with that, we have our first elimination," Hatchet said to the camera. "Will Kiki recover from losing an alliance member? Will Bailey learn to open up? Will Rachel's plan succeed? All this and more, next time on Total! DRAMA! HOUSE PARTY!"
Votes:
David: Well, it really sucks, but I have to vote for Spankety. Ernie said that voting for her will 'ensure my safety in the game or something,' and I do want to stay in the game… I'm sorry.
Ernie: Spankety, no hard feelings, but, like, you leaving is the only way I can stand a chance in this game.
Jilly: Your girl's voting for Tucker. I don't trust that boy one bit.
Kiki: I don't think I'll be breaking any hearts by voting out Tucker tonight. He's annoying, plain and simple.
Lauren: I'll be voting for, wait for it… Spankety. Think about it. If I vote for Spankety, it keeps my options open. I could take whichever side I want and still be in power. Plus, she's a clown, which is gross.
Spankety: I'm really, truly sorry, but I vote for Tucker. Kiki said it's for the best.
Tucker: Tucker votes for Spankety. He already has her panties, plus, she's not even hot. Good riddance.
Spankety – 4
Tucker – 3
A/N: Welp, there goes Spankety. Spankety's a character I've wanted to use for a bit: a clown character who seem isn't an evil killer clown, but still ends up the first boot anyway due to a teammate's fear of clowns. Whether you liked her or not, it seems that she just wasn't cut out for this game, and so she becomes the first boot.