A/N: Not much to say here other than here's more House Party. Still have plenty of summer break ahead of me, so I should be able to get more of this done.
"Last time on Total Drama House Party…" Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "Our houseguests had to go through a relay race, Playground of Pain style! Heheheh. Susan gave Chappy quite the hate speech, which made Chappy all quiet for some reason. Barry tried to get Erica to open up more, though I ain't sure if it's workin' or not. I also don't care. Lauren also pulled a pretty funny prank on that boy Tucker, wrapping Kiki up in the prank war in the process. Team Flame lost the challenge, and Nolan's dice twist gave Mac the ol' snake eyes, sendin' the sadomasochist home. Right now it's five against five against six. Will Team Chill lose their lead, or will one of the other teams fall even further behind? Find out ya fool! Only on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Team Flame quietly made their way to the backyard. Quietly, that is, except for one teammate ranting about the elimination.
"Okay, what the hell?!" CJ asked in an annoyed tone. "I thought we were voting me out. That was the intention, right?"
"What can I say?" Nolan shrugged. "Things just turned out differently."
"Well why the hell would you vote out Mac of all people?" CJ asked. "He was, like, our strongest teammate."
"I didn't know you cared," Rachel teased.
"I don't," CJ grumbled. "I just want to know why you thought it'd be a good idea to vote him out over me."
"Well, trust me when I say we had our reasons," Barry said as he put his hand on Erica's shoulder. Rachel shot a quick glare at Erica, but stopped before anyone noticed.
"Well, we'd better lose again soon, because I'm getting more and more sick of this place with each passing hour," CJ grumbled.
"I don't know about you, but I'd rather not sleep outside in the cold with no beds, nor would I prefer to eat the same bland meals the losing team is made to eat," Nolan remarked. "Speaking of which, I'm tired. I'll be off to bed. Or, in this case, off to…" Nolan rolled his die. "Irritatingly itchy lawn."
"Well, whatever alliance we had is off now. I hope you realize that, Nolan," CJ threatened.
"I hadn't realized it was still on, to be quite honest," Nolan told her.
Confessional:
CJ: Well, looks like I'm stuck here for another day. Maybe I'll ask someone or other for the rulebook. Perhaps I can find a rule to break that can get me kicked off the show.
Erica: I dunno what Mac did to get himself voted off, but I'm not pissed that he left. I'm pissed that no one told me he was leaving! Do I matter that little to these people?! I mean, I realize I'm the scum of the earth, but Barry at least could have given me a heads-up! Idiot!
Rachel: Don't think I didn't catch that little move Barry made on Erica. It looks like he isn't 100% loyal to me yet. Hm. No matter. All I need to do is get rid of Erica. This is easier said than done, though. Obviously she won't vote for herself, and neither will Barry, and CJ's going to vote for herself most likely. I'll have to rely on Nolan's vote, it seems.
Team Thunder made their way to the basement.
"Well, we didn't get last place today," Judy said encouragingly. "I know I for one am glad we get to sleep on real beds again."
Chappy nodded in agreement.
"Oh geez, are you still not talking?" Susan scoffed. "Staying silent is just the same as running away from your problems, you know!"
"Susan, now is really not the time," Franklin said exasperatedly. "We're all tired. Just leave it alone and get some sleep."
"Anything for you, hot stuff," Susan grinned as she got onto a bed.
"Now, how are we going to be doing the sleeping arrangements tonight?" Judy asked.
"I'll sleep alone, as usual," Chappy volunteered.
"Ooh! Franklin can sleep with me!" Susan said as she raised her hand.
"Er, no thanks," Franklin said. "I'd much rather sleep alone tonight."
"I'll share a bed with you, Susan," Judy offered.
"No!" Susan barked. "It's Franklin, or nothing!"
"Well, then, I guess we'll be sharing a bed," Judy told Bailey.
"Oh, um, okay, I suppose that's, if you're okay with…" Bailey stuttered.
"It's fine," Judy assured her.
"Um, no, it is not fine!" Susan objected. "Bailey is my best friend. She can't share a bed with you!"
"You, Chappy, and Franklin all said you wanted to sleep alone," Judy said. "There are only four beds. Unless you want Bailey to sleep on the floor…"
"I'd much rather you slept on the floor," Susan interrupted.
Judy took a deep breath in order to keep from lashing out.
Confessional:
Judy: What happened to that Susan? I remember her being really sweet when this game began. Now it's like… I don't even know. It's sad is what it is.
Susan: Geez, these people just don't understand how things work. It's not that difficult. Judy didn't even sleep on the floor like I kindly asked her to. How rude.
Jilly: You know what? This is kind of a lame party. I mean, this is Total Drama House Party, ain't it? All I'm seeing is strategy, strategy, strategy from Ernie and Kiki, and prank war, prank war, prank war from Tucker and Lauren. It's time to break this tension with a little fun, DJ Fuchsia style!
Jilly was in the ballroom with a pad and pencil, pacing around and occasionally writing things down. Just then, Kiki entered the room.
"Hey, Jilly. What are you doing here?" Kiki asked.
"That's a good question, Kiki. What am I doing here?" Jilly responded. "It sure as heck ain't partying. And that's kinda false advertising."
"I'm not sure I follow," Kiki admitted.
"You can't really call it TD House Party if there ain't no party," Jilly explained. "So I'm looking at this room and thinking 'What can I do to make this shizz off the chain?'"
"Well, good luck with that," Kiki said.
"Thanks," Jilly nodded. "Say, what are you doing in here?"
"Sometimes I come in here to think," Kiki explained. "I like the large, spacious emptiness of the room. It reminds me of the vastness and infiniteness of my own potential."
"Dang, girl. That's deep," Jilly said.
"Besides, no guy would be caught dead in this room," Kiki said with a slight smile. "The décor is way too girly."
"Ooh, that's a good call!" Jilly pointed out as she wrote something on her pad. "I'm thinking of making this the kind of thing where you bring a date. You gonna ask Ernie?"
"I'm sorry, what?" Kiki asked in an almost angry tone.
"Come on, you basically admitted your crush on Ernie when we played 'Hot or Not' yesterday," Jilly said. "You don't gotta hide it from your girl."
"I don't have a crush on anyone," Kiki insisted. "Not Lauren, not Ernie, not anybody."
"Alright, chill," Jilly said defensively. "You don't gotta bring a date if you don't wanna."
"I almost don't want to bring myself now," Kiki pouted.
"What if I told you there'd be whores doovriss?" Jilly asked.
"You mean hors d'oeuvres?" Kiki asked.
"Yeah, that," Jilly shrugged.
Confessional:
Jilly: Honestly, I don't even know what whore dervs or whatever she said actually is. All I know is that people like Kiki like it. Maybe it's some kind of fancy music, I dunno.
Kiki: I still can't believe Jilly asked me if I was going to bring a guy. Did she forget about the part where I can't talk to them?! Geez.
Nolan was in the game room as he usually was. He was messing around with some cards when Rachel approached him.
"Hey, Nolan," Rachel greeted in a flirtatious tone. "How's it going?"
"Well, we got that horrid Mac out of the house, so I'm feeling rather good about myself," Nolan told her. "I, for one, feel a lot safer."
"Okay, you can cut the act, dude," Rachel snickered. "I know you're lying."
"Alright, I fold," Nolan conceded. "I know a bluff when I see one, and you're not bluffing."
"Excellent. That's going to make things so much easier for me," Rachel said with a sigh of relief.
"So is the whole flirty thing an act then?" Nolan guessed.
"Nice to see you're not just all talk," Rachel quipped.
"So why are you here?" Nolan asked. "Surely you want something from me."
"I'm here with a proposal," Rachel said.
"I can't form an alliance with you," Nolan reminded her. "I rolled the dice, and the dice said no."
"I'm not here for an alliance," Rachel told him. "I'm just here to see if you're on board with voting with me next time we lose. No strings attached."
"Do tell," Nolan said, intrigued.
"I want Erica gone," Rachel said.
"How come?" Nolan asked.
"That's irrelevant," Rachel told him. "What's relevant is that I voted for Mac last night despite knowing that you were lying to my face. I feel like you owe me this at least."
Nolan sighed. "Fine," Nolan finally said. "I'll roll the die on this one, but I can't promise anything."
"And what does the die say?" Rachel asked.
Nolan fished a die from his pocket and gave it a roll. "Looks like you have a deal," Nolan said.
"Excellent," Rachel said. "I trust you'll remember this come elimination. That might not be for a long time."
"I get the feeling you won't let me forget," Nolan remarked.
"Regardless, it's a pleasure working with you," Rachel told him as she left the room.
Confessional:
Nolan: The die roll did not say I'd be voting with her. The die roll said that I'd lie to her that I would. Of course, she saw straight through my previous lie, so I have no idea if she fell for it or not. Either way, I won't be voting with her unless I happen to roll Erica next time we lose. Dice rules.
Rachel: I know Nolan was lying to me. Whatever. Even if I don't have his vote, I made sure to let him know he wasn't as sneaky as he thought. Now I just need to come up with another plan…
Franklin and Bailey were on the balcony, relaxing.
"It's nice to be out on the balcony," Franklin pointed out.
Bailey flipped through a small stack of papers until finding the one she wanted. "Yes, I agree," she read. "It's been quite a while since we've been able to relax on such a nice, sunny day such as today."
"And we didn't even have to vote anyone out last night," Franklin added.
"Even if we did have to vote, we would still be in the majority," Bailey read. "You, Susan, and I outnumber Judy and Chappy. If we do end up losing, Chappy will be going home."
"You've really thought this out, haven't you?" Franklin asked. "If I'm not careful, you might end up masterminding the whole game," he joked.
"Um, well, you see, the thing with that is, you know…" Bailey stammered.
"I understand," Franklin told her. "But hey, we're still friends, in spite of your, uh, quirk."
"Yes. That's very nice," Bailey said with a shy smile.
All of a sudden, the balcony door crashed open. Franklin and Bailey turned to see Susan stomp up to them.
"What are you two doing?!" Susan barked. "I thought we were all friends!"
"What did we do to make you think otherwise?" Franklin asked patiently.
"You're hanging out without me!" Susan cried. "Clearly you don't want to include me!"
"Well, we, um, well…" Bailey began frantically flipping through her papers for a response.
"See?! Bailey even has something pre-written because you planned this ahead, didn't you?!" Susan snapped.
"But, um, uh, um, um…" Bailey began to panic.
Susan walked up to the balcony table, took Bailey's papers, and threw them off. The pages began floating down into the backyard, some landing on the pool, others on the dew-coated grass, and one on CJ, as she was down in the backyard sketching. She wadded the paper up and threw it in the pool as well.
"Why would you do that?" Franklin asked impatiently.
"That's what you get for isolating me like that!" Susan sneered. "Now you can't talk because Bailey can't so much as form two words together without stammering like a retard!"
Bailey frowned, but didn't say anything. She avoided eye contact with Susan, and it was clear that she was on the verge of tears.
"Susan…" Franklin started.
"Now, we're going to sit down and have a civil good time. Together," Susan interrupted. "Got it?!"
Confessional:
Susan: If Franklin doesn't want to hang out with me, I'll make him want to hang out with me!
Bailey: (She is crying. Every time she tries to compose herself, she starts crying again.)
Yolonda was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast.
"Now, let's see, what's on the menu today?" Yolonda asked herself as she looked at a calendar on the wall "Bacon and eggs. I can do that. Oh, and a waffle for my first-place winner, of course."
Just then, David walked into the dining room, vocalizing a guitar riff as he played the air guitar. Yolonda saw this from the window on the door between the kitchen and the dining room.
"Ooh, speak of the devil," Yolonda said to herself. "Looks like I'd better get on that waffle first."
A few minutes later, Yolonda entered the dining room with a waffle on a plate. David was sitting at the table, humming to himself, nodding his head to the rhythm.
"Hey, David," Yolonda greeted.
"Yo, Londa. How's it going?" David greeted back.
"Yo, Londa?" Yolonda chuckled. "How long did it take you to come up with that?"
"I dunno, man. It just came to me," David shrugged.
"So do you think about me a lot then?" Yolonda flirted.
"I dunno. I guess?" David said as he rubbed the back of his head. "So, who's the waffle for?"
"It's for you, silly," Yolonda told him as she placed the plate down at the table.
"Aw, sweet!" David cheered. "Thanks."
"No prob, sugar," Yolonda told him. "So, what brings you to these parts?"
David's mouth was already full of waffle by the time Yolonda asked him that question. He swallowed the painfully large amount of waffle before answering her.
"I'm just kinda fed up with all the conflict right now, you know?" David answered. "I mean, Ernie's always going on about how to get Lauren to vote with us so we can take out Kiki, and Tucker's always going on about how he's going to make Kiki and Lauren pay for humiliating him or something. It gets old, you know?"
"Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here to listen," Yolonda told him.
"It's just…" David said with a mouthful of waffle before swallowing. "Ernie wants me to sleep with Lauren because he's convinced that'll get her to vote with him. Like, what the heck?!"
"…Are you going to do it?" Yolonda asked.
"I don't know," David said exasperatedly. "I mean, Ernie's super smart, so I trust he knows what he's talking about, but how am I supposed to get Lauren to sleep with me? I'm not even that good-looking."
"Oh, I don't know about that," Yolonda said. "I'm sure some girls might take a shining to you."
"Yeah, but I don't know any of them," David said absentmindedly. "I'm gonna go ask Ernie for some advice. Thanks for the waffle."
"No prob, sugar," Yolonda said as she waved goodbye. As soon as David left the room, she sighed.
Confessional:
Yolonda: I hope David makes it far in this game. That boy's dumb as a post, but he's such a nice guy. (she sighs) I just hope he isn't really thinking about doing that with Lauren just for a vote. He's worth so much more than that.
David: I told myself coming into this game that it'd probably be better if I let someone else do strategy thinking for me. I guess that makes me a follower, but hey, whatever works, right?
The sixteen contestants all met in the foyer at Hatchet's request.
"Alright, maggots," Hatchet began. "It's time for another challenge. This one will take us back to the Playground of Pain. Now, hurry yourselves onto the bus! Tonight's the season finale of Sherlock and I ain't missin' it!"
"Ah! No spoilers!" Lauren gasped as she bolted for the door. The others followed her at a much slower pace. Soon enough, everyone got onto the bus, and it departed for the playground.
As the bus made its way to the Playground of Pain, the contestants began to converse with each other.
"So, Barry, how are things going with your team?" Judy asked.
"They're going well," Barry told her. "Last night we voted out Mac. He threatened to seriously harm one of our teammates."
"Wow. Sounds serious," Judy said. "Well, my team's… I'd be lying if I said it was all hunky-dory."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Barry told her sincerely.
"We have a teammate who's, uh, not as positive of an influence as would be preferred," Judy confessed. "Part of me wants to lose so we can vote them out, but we've already lost twice, and I don't want three losses so early in the game."
"That's got to be tough," Barry said sympathetically.
"That's the thing with this game," Judy said. "If you win, you can't get rid of your more problematic teammates, but if you lose, you end up voting someone out, which could weaken the team. Talk about a lose-lose situation."
"I prefer to think of it the opposite way," Barry said. "If you win, you don't have to weaken your team, and if you lose, you can vote off someone who might be bringing your team down."
"How do you stay so optimistic all the time?" Judy asked.
"My brother says I'm a sanguine," Barry told her. "He's studying psych at college right now."
"Cool," Judy complimented.
At the front of the bus, CJ began talking to Hatchet.
"Say, you wouldn't happen to have a copy of the Total Drama handbook, would you?" CJ asked him.
"I have a copy of 'Sit Down and Shut Up' handy!" Hatchet barked. "Now stop botherin' me. I gotta keep my concentration on the road!"
"The playground's like three blocks from the house," CJ told him. "We should already be there by now."
"I didn't ask you!" Hatchet replied.
CJ smirked. "Boy, it sure would suck if we crashed right now. Or maybe it wouldn't. If one of us dies, the game would probably end right then and there. Gotta avoid those lawsuits, you know."
Hatchet then realized what CJ was doing. "CJ! If you don't stop right now, I'll give your team immunity! You understand me?!"
"Dammit," CJ cursed.
The bus eventually made it to the Playground of Pain. As the houseguests stepped out, they noticed an immense plastic block that covered almost the entirety of the playground.
"Whoah. What's this madness?" Tucker asked.
"This here is your challenge," Hatchet said. "Here's how it'll work: What you see in front of you is a giant maze. Your goal is simply to get your team to the center of the maze. Once everyone's there, all you have to do is ring the bell of your team's color. First two teams to do that will win Invincibility for the night. Oh, and there's a catch: y'all have to split up into pairs. Any questions?"
"Yeah, what if we, like, ring the bell before our whole team gets here?" Ernie asked.
"Then it won't count," Hatchet told him. "We have cameras in there, so we'll know if you're cheating."
"Does Team Chill have to sit someone out?" Franklin asked. "They still have six members."
"Ah, that's right!" Hatchet remembered. "Team Chill! Y'all have to sit someone out!" Ernie opened his mouth. "And it can't be Ernie, 'cause he sat the last one out!"
"Dang it…" Ernie muttered.
"I got this one, guys," Jilly volunteered. "I got a party to plan!"
"You mentioned pairs," Nolan pointed out. "But with Jilly sitting out, all the teams have an odd number of players."
"Ah, right. That person can go alone," Hatchet decided. "Any more questions?" No one spoke. "Alright then. Split into pairs so we can get this started!"
"Well, since there are five of us, one of us will be going alone," CJ pointed out. "I volunteer to-"
"Oh, would you look at that," Nolan said. "I rolled a two. CJ, you're pairing with me."
"Hey, maybe you listen to that piece of plastic, but-" CJ started.
"I'd rather just go alone," Erica said. "I'd be doing you assholes all a favor."
"And I want to go with Barry," Rachel said as she held onto Barry's arm.
"But-" CJ started.
"We should get started on the challenge," Rachel said. "Let's go!"
"Good call," Barry agreed. He and Rachel went through one entrance of the maze, while Erica went through another. As they went through, automatic doors shut behind them.
"…You still can't make me-" CJ started.
"Come on, let's go," Nolan said as he picked up CJ and slung her over his shoulder as he went through another entrance.
Confessional:
Nolan: Yeah, I really rolled a two and it really meant to take CJ. I don't always lie. Just when the dice tell me to.
Rachel: Perfect. Now that I've separated Barry and Erica for the entire challenge, I can keep working my way into Barry's mind.
"Franklin will be pairing with me!" Susan insisted.
"Well, does Franklin want to pair with you?" Judy asked.
"Yes," Susan said sternly as she dragged Franklin by the arm into an entrance. A door closed behind them.
"Okay then," Judy said, despite not believing Susan. "Chappy, do you still want to go alone?"
"Might as well," Chappy said as he went for another entrance. "Can't trust anyone but myself to win this thing."
"Well, Bailey, that just leaves me and you," Judy told the shy girl. "Is that alright?"
"Er, uh, sure," Bailey agreed.
The two girls went through a third entrance, which closed behind them.
Confessional:
Chappy: I have to win this game. I'm already aligned with Judy, so if she goes with Bailey, maybe she can convince her to switch to our side. She'd better…
Judy: I think now's a good time to bond with Bailey. We haven't spoken much since the game began, despite being on different teams, and with all that's going on, it seems to me like she could use a gal pal.
"I'll, like, keep an eye on Tucker," Ernie suggested.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tucker asked.
"It means he doesn't want you doing anything weird where no one can see you," Lauren remarked.
"I'm not convinced he still won't do anything weird," David chuckled. Tucker leered at him.
"So, Kiki, you ready to take this on?" Lauren asked.
Kiki went up to whisper in Lauren's ear. "Actually, why don't you go with David? He seems to dislike Tucker. Maybe we can get his vote on our side."
"Okay," Lauren agreed. "Change of plans. David, you're coming with me."
"What?! But…" David glanced at Ernie, who gave a slight nod. "Alright then."
"You alright by yourself, Kiki?" Lauren asked.
"If not, Tucker's always willing to settle things," Tucker added.
Kiki didn't answer. She went through one of the entrances. As she did, a door shut behind her.
As Lauren and David went for another entrance, Tucker aimed a slingshot at the back of Lauren's head. Ernie swiped it from him.
"Come on, let's go," Ernie said with a roll of his eyes.
"Tucker will have his revenge," Tucker promised.
"That's great," Ernie said sarcastically as he led Tucker to a third entrance. The door closed behind them as well.
Confessional:
David: Is this too convenient? I feel like this is too convenient. Oh well. I guess I shouldn't punch a gift horse in the mouth.
Tucker: Whatever. This matters not. What matters is that Tucker can come up with new pranks to get back at Lauren and Kiki. Unless Ernie insists on talking about strategy, which is entirely possible. Ah well. If he does do that, Tucker brought duct tape.
Nolan continued to make his way through the maze, CJ still slung over his back.
"Could you at least put me down?" CJ whined.
"Nope. Can't risk you running the other direction and getting lost," Nolan told her.
"You don't know that I'd do that," CJ insisted.
"What else would you do? Follow me to the finish line so we might actually win?" Nolan asked in disbelief.
"Maybe if you put me down," CJ offered.
"Yeah, not happening," Nolan said.
"You're not willing to take the gamble?" CJ challenged.
"Gambling involves getting more out of it than you put in if you win," Nolan explained. "If I risk putting you down, the best case scenario is that you do, against all odds, quietly follow me to the finish line. The worst case scenario is that you throw the challenge for us. It's all about risk vs. reward. I don't want to risk losing, even if the reward is not having a shoulder cramp for the next few days.
CJ yawned as Nolan was talking. "My word, you are the most boring person on planet Earth!" CJ told him. "And, hey, what's this about a cramp? Are you saying I'm fat?"
"Yes, CJ, that's exactly what I'm saying," Nolan said in an annoyed, sarcastic manner.
Confessional:
Nolan: If CJ's annoying me just for kicks, it's working. See, if Mac were here, he'd probably find a way to use his head as a battering ram to break through the walls of the maze or something. But I've imposed the dice challenge upon myself for the extra challenge, so I suppose this is to be expected. Still, no one could've expected for me to be on a team with someone who's throwing all the challenges.
CJ: Nolan's body shaming me! You all saw it!
Judy and Bailey were currently searching through another part of the maze. Bailey had been silent the entire time, so Judy decided to initiate a conversation.
"So, Bailey, how's your time in the game been?" Judy asked. "Are you having fun?"
"It's, um, fine, I suppose," Bailey said. "Uh, as far as, well, experiences go, I guess, um, I've had, well, worse…"
"Is something bothering you, hon?" Judy asked. "You can tell me."
"Well…" Bailey trailed off. "Kinda, maybe, sort of…"
"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine," Judy told her.
"It's Susan…" Bailey admitted. "She's acting… not herself… or maybe, um, that is herself, and, uh, all this time, she's, been, um, you know…"
"Oh thank God!" Judy breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought I was the only one who thought so. You have no idea how much of a relief it is to hear you say that."
"Um, well, glad to help, I guess…" Bailey said with a slight smile. "So, um, if you don't mind, I, uh, have a, kind of a, um, question, for you…"
"Oh, really?" Judy said with mild surprise. "Shoot."
"So, um, you know how, uh, you and Chappy, are, well, kind of, friends, and such…?" Bailey asked. "I, uh, just wanted to know, uh, why."
"Well, we both ended up with each other in the first challenge with the sodas," Judy explained. "From then on, we just became close, I guess. I know he has a problem with losing, but I'm hoping to help him out with that."
"How interesting…" Bailey remarked. "So, um, does this make me, um, a bad person, because I, well, uh, never mind…"
Confessional:
Judy: I wonder what Bailey was going to say that made her think she was a bad person. I know she's not a bad person, in fact, she's one of the sweetest people in the game, but if she doesn't see that, then that just makes me sad.
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) For those curious, I was going to ask if I was a bad person due to me no longer wanting to be friends with Susan while Judy remains friends with Chappy. Sadly, my timidity got the better of me. Hopefully I can work through that someday…
David and Lauren, meanwhile, were traversing through yet another part of the maze.
"So... nice day we're having," David said awkwardly.
"I guess. All I know is my libido is acting up again," Lauren said. "I know I have to have 'self-control' and all that, but don't be surprised if we fall behind because our tongues couldn't keep their hands off each other."
"…Ew," David winced.
"It's not often a guy says 'ew' after I offer to make out with him," Lauren remarked. "Are you gay?"
"What? No, I'm not gay!" David objected.
"Relax, I'm joking," Lauren smirked. "So, I suppose you're wondering why I made you pair up with me for the challenge."
"Kinda," David admitted.
"Well, the girls and I are talking about voting out Tucker," Lauren said. "And Kiki says you can join our alliance if you vote for him next time we lose."
"Really?" David asked. He chuckled. "It's a funny story, actually. Ernie wanted me to get you to flip back to our side."
"No kidding?" Lauren replied.
"Yeah. He's all 'Well Kiki, like, made out with Lauren to earn her vote, so you should go, ya know, bone her to out-do Kiki,'" David imitated. "How crazy is that?"
David looked to see Lauren taking deep breaths.
"Uh, you okay?" David asked. "I wasn't actually going to-"
Lauren interrupted him by pulling him in for a kiss. The two began to make out as Lauren pushed David up against one of the maze walls.
Confessional:
Lauren: I'm probably not going to vote with him, but oh man, that was satisfying!
David: Uh, I totally wasn't… She… It's just… Geez, I sound like Bailey right now. Point is, that was totally uncalled for! I only kissed back because of the off chance that she might actually flip back to our side, I swear!
Erica wandered through another part of the maze alone.
"You know, for a Playground of Pain challenge, this is surprisingly painless," Erica remarked. "Unless the pain of being me counts. But that's not fair to the others. They don't know what it's like being horribly ugly. Okay, Chappy does, but if people hate him for the color of their skin, they get called out on it."
She kicked at some of the loose bark that still made up the floor of the playground.
"I bet Barry and Rachel are bonding right now," Erica said resentfully. "I bet he's falling head-over-heels for the pretty, flirty, half-Asian with normal hair and eyes. Why wouldn't he? It's not like I mean anything to him. I'm just that girl he pities so he can look like a nice guy. Well it's not nice, Barry! Gah, I hate him so much."
Erica paused as she continued walking.
"Why am I even doing this stupid game? What do I have to earn? The money?" Erica continued ranting. "What am I going to get with the money? Money can't buy happiness, and I sure as hell aren't going to be happy on my own. Tch. Maybe I'll get some colored contacts, some hair dye, and a spray-tan booth. I'd still be ugly, but at least I'd be the kind of ugly that guys like. I don't care what mom says. I don't care if I'm being fake. What does she know about being a freak?!"
Erica kicked the nearest wall, only for it to fall over, revealing a larger, more open part of the maze with three colored bells, red, yellow, and blue.
"Finally," Erica grumbled.
Confessional:
Erica: Since they clearly edited my part in the challenge out of the episode, I figure I might as well tell you that nothing important happened. …They'd better edit that part out!
Susan had not let go of Franklin's arm during their entire time in the maze up to this point.
"Oh, Franklin, isn't this great?" Susan asked in an eerily cheerful voice.
"Isn't what great?" Franklin asked. "You're going to have to be more specifi-"
"Did I stutter?!" Susan snapped.
"It's great! It's great!" Franklin flinched.
"Good," Susan smiled. "I can tell we're going to be spending a long and eventful game together."
"Are we?" Franklin asked with a hint of fear.
"Yup. You, Bailey, and I will make the finale three," Susan explained. "Then, we ditch Bailey and move on to the finale together. I'm sure she'll be fine with it. And if not, who cares? What's she going to do, cry on us?"
"At this rate, it's entirely possible," Franklin remarked.
"Yeah, well she's just a baby," Susan insisted. "She shouldn't have signed up for this game if she knew she wouldn't be able to talk like a normal person."
"Since when does this game have normal people?" Franklin asked rhetorically. "And I thought you said Bailey was your best friend."
"I did," Susan confirmed. "And best friends call each other out when they do something wrong."
"What did Bailey do wrong?" Franklin asked.
"Ohoho, Franklin," Susan chuckled. "You're so cute when you play dumb."
Franklin gave a 'help me' look to the camera.
Confessional:
Franklin: You'd think that, with a neglectful mother, I'd be clamoring for female attention, but after today, that's shockingly not the case.
Susan: I wonder when Franklin and I are going to hook up. Hopefully by the merge. Waiting until after that is just begging for us to hook up as one of us is eliminated, and neither of us are allowed to be eliminated!
Kiki walked by herself through another part of the maze.
"Whew, it's nice to finally have some alone time," Kiki said to herself. "Since Jilly took up my usual spot this morning, I wasn't able to do any morning reflection. I sincerely hope she doesn't make it look horribly tacky. I quite like that room."
Meanwhile, Jilly was speaking to Yolonda in the kitchen as the latter prepared lunch.
"So, do you think I should go with the highlighter yellow curtains, or the highlighter green curtains?" Jilly asked.
"…How did you get here?" Yolonda asked. "I thought everyone left for the challenge."
"We did," Jilly admitted. "But it's like three blocks away. So again, highlighter yellow, or highlighter green?"
Kiki continued walking through the maze.
"I can't believe Jilly's actually planning to throw a party in there," Kiki said. "This is a game of strategy. The way to win is by outwitting everyone else, not by swinging glowsticks around. I mean, I know it's called 'Total Drama House Party', but that's probably only because 'Total Drama Mansion' sounds stupid."
Kiki adjusted her glasses haughtily.
"And then she asks me if I'll be asking anyone as a date to her stupid party! Has she not been paying attention to anything all game? I can't talk to guys. Not after…"
Kiki was visibly uncomfortable just thinking about it.
"Well, she can party all she wants. She knows she's dead in this game without me. She knows I hold her life in this game in my hand like a delicate little bird, able to crush it in my grip at any time." Kiki stopped and made a face. "What is wrong with me today? Point is, she's too complacent. The problem is, I need her just as much as she needs me. With the small teams, every ally counts, and it's not like I have much of a choice in who I can align with."
Kiki sighed to herself.
"I guess I can't really complain," Kiki admitted. "I did get my entire alliance all on the same team. That's pretty lucky of me. Though in hindsight that was a stupid move. What if we did end up on different teams? No! I can't be thinking like that. I am brilliant, and nothing's going to keep me from winning this game! Not Jilly, not any guys, and especially not Ernie. Most people couldn't make it the first few rounds with a fear like mine, but Kiki Koizumi is not most people!"
Confessional:
Kiki: I suppose I should thank whoever had the idea to let me go alone. I needed that pep talk, and now, I'm as pumped as ever! This game is going to be mine!
Barry and Rachel wandered through another part of the maze.
"Boy, I sure am glad we don't have that awful boy on our team anymore," Rachel said.
"I agree," Barry nodded. "I still can't believe he would say something like that."
"Maybe Erica said something really mean or offensive to him," Rachel suggested. "Maybe she insulted his dead mother or something."
"Come on, nobody's that twisted," Barry insisted. "Besides, Erica's a nice girl if you get to know her."
"But she won't let me get to know her," Rachel said. "She won't let anyone get to know her."
"Really?" Rachel asked in disbelief.
"Well, she does talk to me sometimes," Barry admitted. "Or, rather, I talk to her."
"And how does that usually go?" Rachel asked.
"Well, usually she just denies everything I say to her, says something mean to me, then leaves," Barry recalled.
"No offense, Barry, but does that fall under your spectrum of 'nice'?" Rachel asked.
"I-I guess not," Barry figured out. "What's with all the questions today? Usually I'm the one who does all the talking."
"I'm quite smart when I'm not playing flirty," Rachel admitted. "I'm just a naturally curious person."
"Alright, just wondering," Barry said.
"Hey, I think we made it to the finish," Rachel pointed out. Sure enough, they had made it to the center room with all the bells. "Looks like we're the first ones here."
Barry then noticed Erica sitting in the corner of the room, alone.
Confessional:
Barry: So maybe Erica hasn't been nice to me all this time. I guess my rose-colored glasses were too thick to notice. I just like to see the good in people, you know? I think I finally get the message. I'll start leaving Erica alone from now on.
Rachel: Barry and Erica didn't talk once for the rest of the challenge. I'd say my plan was a success.
Meanwhile, Chappy made his way through the maze by himself.
"Dammit, another dead end?" Chappy grumbled to himself as he turned around and went another way. "It just had to be a maze, didn't it? Couldn't just be 'go from point A to point freaking B', no, they had to go and make it extra-difficult."
Chappy took a bottle of soda out of his pocket and began to drink from it.
"I just can't get over the fact that my team hasn't gotten first place in any challenge so far," Chappy complained. "It's just not fair! How am I supposed to win the game if I can't even win a freaking challenge?!"
Chappy took another swig of soda.
"Alright, stay calm, Chappy," Chappy told himself. "It's not like we've had to vote someone out each time. Though I kinda wish we had, because then we could get rid of those small girls that are always with Franklin. Susan and Bailey… they're just detriments to the team. Susan's always tripping over herself, and Bailey can't even talk normally. The sooner we get rid of them, the sooner we can win first place in a challenge."
Chappy, having run out of soda, threw his bottle on the ground.
"Of course, the longer it takes to get to that point, the better. Second place isn't a total win, but it isn't a total loss either. Last place is just unacceptable. Besides, if they make the merge, they'd be non-threats. Which is good, because it'd make it that much easier to win. And I have to win. For her sake…"
Chappy made it to the center room of the maze.
"Well, looks like I'm the first one on Team Thunder to make it," Chappy noticed. "No surprise there. No one else has the drive to win that I do."
Confessional:
Chappy: Looks like the rest of the challenge is out of my control. My team had better hurry themselves up here.
Ernie and Tucker wandered through yet another part of the maze.
"Tucker was totally going to have his revenge, you know," Tucker griped.
"I know. And that's why I, like, made you stop," Ernie replied. "We can't, like, get Lauren's vote if you're, ya know, terrorizing her."
"She started it," Tucker insisted.
"I highly doubt that," Ernie replied. "Look, do you, like, actually want to win?"
"Tucker knows he's going to win," Tucker bragged. "Everyone loves Tucker. Tucker's probably the #1 fan favorite of this season."
"Are you sure you, like, want that?" Ernie asked. "The fan favorites always get the creepy fan fiction written about them. People are probably shipping us as we speak."
"Tucker's fans respect him too much to do that," Tucker responded.
"Whatever," Ernie said with a roll of his eyes. "My, like, point is that you can't keep pranking Lauren like that. Kiki's fine, ya know, but Lauren could be an important vote on our side that could mean the difference between making the merge or not."
"You said David had it covered," Tucker said. "Besides, you can't tell me what to do."
"I can if you, ya know, don't want to get voted out," Ernie responded.
"There's no need to worry about that," Tucker said. "Because there's the finish area."
True to Tucker's word, the two boys had arrived at the central room.
"And we're the first ones on our team here," Tucker noted. "Tucker can only assume it's because of his awesomeness."
Confessional:
Ernie: Honestly, Tucker's not even worth getting annoyed at. Once my alliance makes the merge, I'll, ya know, kick him out and find someone else.
Tucker: (he places a whoopee cushion on the confessional seat) Isn't Tucker hilarious?
Bailey, Judy, and Kiki all arrived in the central area at roughly the same time.
"Looks like we might have this one," Judy said to her teammates. "All we need is Susan and Franklin."
"Yeah, but the other two teams only have one pair missing too," Chappy pointed out.
"I know," Judy admitted. "Just trying to be hopeful."
"Hey, someone's here!" Barry pointed out.
…
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Nolan had made it to the center, with CJ still over his shoulder.
"Is everyone on our team here?" Nolan asked.
"They are," Rachel confirmed.
Erica walked up to the red bell and gave it a hard punch.
"Team Flame wins first place and invincibility!" said Hatchet's voice over a PA system.
"Alright, we ruined my life already. Can you put me down now?" CJ asked Nolan, annoyed.
Nolan dropped CJ on her bottom.
"Well, now it's, like, down to the wire," Ernie said.
"We so got this," Tucker bragged to Team Thunder.
"I wouldn't be so sure," Judy said. "I have a good feeling about this one."
"There's someone else," Nolan said as he pointed to another pair of people.
"Franklin! There's the others!" Susan's voice could be heard despite how far away they were.
"Yes!" Chappy cheered.
"No!" Tucker objected.
Susan dashed up to the finish line, with Franklin following close behind.
"Well, good game, guys," Judy said to Team Chill.
Just then, Susan tripped and fell on her face. Franklin ran past her and made it to the center.
"Hurry up, Susan!" Chappy ordered.
But Susan could not hurry up, because Lauren and David ran into the center room.
"Hey, everyone's here!" David pointed out.
"What?!" Chappy barked.
Lauren walked up to the blue bell and gave it a slap.
"Team Chill wins second place and invincibility!" Hatchet's voice announced. "Team Thunder, you've lost once again. Meet me at the foyer tonight to vote someone out. Again."
Confessional:
Chappy: (he sits down on the confessional chair, only to hear a fart noise. He looks at his seat and finds a whoopee cushion there. He screams in outrage)
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) It's a shame we lost, but I like to think of it as a way to lose a liability rather than lose a teammate. It may be harsh, but clearly that's just how this game is. It makes people harsh.
The five members of Team Thunder were gathered in the ballroom to discuss the vote.
"Alright!" Chappy started. "I've gathered you all here to inform of you what's going on."
"What is going on?" Franklin asked.
"What's going on is that Susan is holding our team back!" Chappy said as he pointed accusingly at Susan.
"I'm holding the team back?!" Susan gasped. "Um, last I checked, I wasn't Chappy!"
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Chappy growled.
"It means that you're the reason we keep losing!" Susan responded.
"How?! I was the first one on our team to make it to the finish! You tripped and cost us the win!" Chappy refuted.
"Your mere presence is holding our team back!" Susan insisted. "It's… holding back morale, or something! Yeah!"
"Hey, can you keep it down?" Jilly called from the top of a ladder that was leaning against a wall. "I'm trying to put up these dope curtains for the party. By the way, you guys should totally go to that! And bring a date!"
"Why don't we take a break then?" Judy suggested.
"I agree," Franklin nodded. "It's apparent to me that Susan and Chappy can't be in the same room without arguing."
"It's not my fault she's stupid and useless," Chappy grunted.
"And it's not my fault he's fat and ugly." Susan stuck her tongue out at Chappy.
Confessional:
Judy: It's proving to be kind of hard to keep Chappy under control. I know he's upset that we lost, but getting angry won't fix that. I should talk to him alone.
Franklin: I'm honestly scared that this may end up with someone bleeding on the floor if we're not careful. Granted, we don't have any glass bottles handy, but… ah, forget about it.
Judy and Chappy were now in the garage.
"I could have settled that on my own!" Chappy insisted.
"No you couldn't," Judy said firmly. "Look, I know losing is upsetting to you, but you have to move on."
"I can't!" Chappy barked.
"The rest of us have moved on, Chappy. If you dwell on your failures, you can never succeed," Judy told him.
Chappy had no response for that.
"Now," Judy put her hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "I'm going to talk to Franklin and Bailey about maybe voting for Susan. Will you be alright by yourself?"
Chappy nodded.
"Alright. I'll see you later," Judy said as she left.
Confessional:
Judy: I think I'm getting through to him. Now for the hard part. Can I really convince Susan's only two friends to vote for her? I know she's been getting on Bailey's nerves, but to be honest, I'm not sure if Bailey will really go through with it. She's quite shy, and she doesn't seem like the type to rustle feathers.
Chappy: Move on… Pfft. She doesn't know what she's saying to me.
Judy managed to get Franklin and Bailey to meet her on the balcony.
"Are you sure this is the safest place to meet?" Franklin asked. "Susan comes up here a lot."
"I don't know. I'll make this quick," Judy said. "Look, I know Susan's been acting kind of… different lately. I was just wondering if either of you would consider voting for her over Chappy."
"Susan's our friend, Judy," Franklin said. "She's probably just stressed about having Chappy there. If we vote out Chappy, Susan might get better. If we keep Chappy, he'll still get mad at us when we lose. I don't like that."
"Bailey, what do you think?" Judy asked.
"Oh, I, um, well, yeah…" Bailey replied.
"Well I'm Chappy's friend," Judy said. "Maybe he's just stressed that Susan's still here and will get better after she leaves."
"Somehow that doesn't sound as plausible," Franklin said curtly.
Just then, Susan slammed the balcony door open again.
"Well, would you look who it is?!" Susan snapped. "Now Miss Perfect has to go and take my best friend and future boyfriend too!"
"Susan…" Judy said exasperatedly.
"No! I don't care. You're lucky you're not a target tonight, bitch!" Susan threatened. "And if you three don't vote for Chappy tonight, I will hurt you all! Got that?!"
"Um-" Bailey started.
"Good! I'll see you at the elimination tonight!" Susan said as she left the balcony.
Confessional:
Franklin: (he is shuddering) I don't know if Susan meant it when she said she'd hurt us, but I don't want to risk it. When you go through the kind of things that make you look like this… (he points at his eyepatch and scar) …you don't take chances like that.
Judy: Well, I hope that helped make my case. Though Franklin's right, my argument really didn't hold much water, did it. Oh well. Just got to hope for the best.
The five members of Team Thunder sat on one of the couches in the foyer. Hatchet came down the grand staircase carrying what looked like an ice box. He set the ice box down next to him as he stood across from the contestants.
"Well. Never thought I'd see y'all again so soon," Hatchet remarked. "Well, y'all know how it is. You get a soda, you're safe. You don't, you're out. Now. Sodas go to…"
"Judy,"
"Franklin,"
"And Bailey,"
Susan and Chappy glared at each other as Hatchet took the last soda out of the ice chest.
"Alright, we got one soda left," Hatchet said. "And it goes to…"
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"Chappy."
Franklin turned his head nervously to see how Susan would react. To his surprise, she started laughing.
"Haha. Hahaha. Hahahahahaha." Susan giggled. "That's a good one, Hatchet."
"I ain't jokin'. You've been voted out," Hatchet said.
"It's not as funny the second time, Hatchet," Susan said. "Now give me the soda."
Hatchet tossed the soda to Chappy. Susan's face went from amused to enraged in a second.
"What?!" Susan snarled. She turned to Franklin and Bailey. "Which of you voted for me?!"
"Why don't you find out as you rewatch the episode from somewhere far away?" Hatchet asked. He lifted Susan up and carried her to the Door of Shame.
To everyone's surprise, Susan started crying. "I did it. I did it again!" she cried. "Forgive meeee!"
With that, Hatchet tossed her out the door and shut it.
"Can I just thank y'all right now?" Hatchet asked. "That girl was givin' me a migraine. Anyway. Off to the backyard. Dismissed!"
Confessional:
Judy: I'm glad the others gave Chappy a chance. Hopefully now we can start winning some challenges.
"So, with three losses to the other teams' one, it looks like Team Thunder ain't doin' so hot," Hatchet said to the camera. "Will losing Susan help them win some more challenges? Will David or Lauren flip on their alliances? Can Barry get any more gullible? Y'all're gonna have to find out, next time on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Votes:
Susan: Um, duh! Who's big, mean, and detrimental to our team? Can you say Chappy?
Chappy: Susan, I'd say it's been a pleasure, but that would be a lie, and momma didn't raise a liar. Now get out.
Judy: Well, I vote for Susan. Hopefully this works.
Franklin: Sorry, I can't risk getting hurt even more. What if she takes a hand or something? I have to vote for Chappy.
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) Do you remember when our team had a blonde girl with glasses who was friendly and always in a good mood? Well, Susan killed her, and I cannot forgive her for that, so I vote for Susan.
A/N: Yup, Susan was a distraction all along. My goal with Susan was to play with the trope of the adorkable girl who longs for a boyfriend. Usually the only reason she doesn't have one is because she's the slightest bit shy, so I thought "What if the reason she can't get a boyfriend is because she's clingy and over-emotional?" With that, I created Susan, a girl who seemed nice at first, but in the end thought with her heart more than with her brain, and with disastrous results. Whether you liked her or not, I thought she was a fun writing experiment.