A/N: House Party is back, guys! I've been itching to get some more of this one done, so here we go.
"Last time on Total Drama House Party…" Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "Our contestants had to cook up some food for this challenge, and let me tell ya, the food ain't the only thing that got heated in there. CJ tried annoying her team as a tactic to make her more likely to leave the game, causing Barry to step in and try to talk things out. Judy read Bailey's secret journal, and word spread fast, puttin' the sports girl in hot water. Ultimately, though, Team Chill lost their second challenge in a row, and thanks to Tucker ruinin' the challenge and bein' generally obnoxious, he was the one to go. About time! Who's gonna get voted out this time around? Find out ya fool! Only on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Team Chill had made it to the backyard as per normal.
"Well, Lauren, it's a shame you, like, let your personal game get in the way of your strategy game," Ernie remarked.
"A shame for you, maybe," Lauren retorted. "Because you're all out of permanent allies."
"…Regardless, I'm sure I'll be able to find a way out of it," Ernie frowned.
"By the by, why was I in the bottom two tonight?" Lauren asked. "That can only mean I received votes. Whose wise idea was that?"
"It was Tucker's," David answered. "He came up to me trying to get me to flip. I still voted for him though."
"Tch, of course Tucker tried to change the vote," Ernie grumbled. "Of course, he never, like, spoke to me about it."
"Well, it doesn't matter now, because the little turd is gone now," Lauren yawned. "On that note, I can sleep a lot easier from now on, which is good."
Kiki nodded thoughtfully.
"Who knew losing would be so beneficial?" David asked rhetorically.
Lauren suddenly looked like she'd figured something out, but nobody else noticed.
Confessional:
Lauren: You know what I just realized? I'm not the swing vote on this team. David is. He's flipped between Ernie's and Kiki's alliances recently. I mean, I know I have too, but unlike him, I have no loyalty to either of them. In fact, if I play my cards right, I might be able to get David on my side so we can pick off the other two.
Ernie: Why would Tucker flip his vote to Lauren? We can use her. I mean, yeah, she's unpredictable, but she'd been, ya know, loyal to my alliance before. Ah well. I guess him leaving is, like, his comeuppance or something. …Now I just need to figure out how to get out of this mess.
"Basement, sweet basement!" Judy joked as Team Thunder came down to the basement. "This place really is starting to feel like home."
"Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that," Franklin frowned. "I propose that Judy is no longer allowed to sleep near us."
"Why not?" Chappy asked.
"Apparently she went through Bailey's things last night and read her secret journal," Franklin informed him. "She admitted as much to both Bailey and me."
"What? This is the first I've heard of this," Chappy grimaced. He turned to Judy. "Is this true?"
"Yeah, but-" Judy started.
"No buts, Judy." Chappy shook his head in disappointment. "Franklin's right. That kind of thing is unacceptable."
"I was only trying to help," Judy said, visibly shaken.
"If I wanted your help, I'd ask you," Bailey said forlornly.
"What do you think we should do about her?" Franklin asked his teammates.
"Why don't we kick her out of the basement?" Chappy suggested. "If we get last place again, we can always vote her out."
"B-B-But…" Judy stuttered.
"You heard him. Out," Franklin said sternly.
Judy sighed as she left the basement.
Confessional:
Chappy: Secrets are kept secret for a reason. Ziggy was very secretive, and he was the first to go. Preston claimed to know all our secrets, and he went next. Susan let her secret side out, and she followed soon after. Noticing a pattern? And now that I know Bailey has a secret journal, it's likely she's next. Putting the target on Judy is all part of my strategy. I'm planning to befriend Franklin, plant some seeds of doubt, and watch as Bailey leaves.
Franklin: I believe that the most dangerous thing you can do is admitting to know somebody's secrets. Now that Judy's done so, voting for her is looking more and more like a good idea. As for kicking her out of the basement, she needs to know that bad actions, no matter the intention, deserve punishment. At least we're not leaving her out in the rain or anything.
Team Flame were eating breakfast together in the dining room.
"I'm feeling good about today," Barry said with a smile.
"How come?" Nolan asked out of curiosity.
"I don't know. I just woke up on the right side of the bed today, I guess," Barry said as he took a drink of milk.
"That's a good attitude to have," Rachel said as she touched Barry's arm flirtatiously.
"Blow me," Erica muttered.
"'Sup, niggers," CJ greeted as she joined the others.
"Whoa!" Barry exclaimed. "You should be lucky we don't have any actual African-Canadians on our team."
"Eh, who needs 'em?" CJ asked nonchalantly. "All they do is commit crimes and do drugs anyway."
Nobody seemed to have a response to that.
"Hey, Rachel, do me a favor and make me some chow mein?" CJ requested.
"I'll have you know I'm only half-Chinese," Rachel replied, trying to control her anger.
"Sorry, I don't speak Ching Chang Chong," CJ chuckled.
Confessional:
Barry: Suffice to say, my good mood has been ruined.
CJ: Why yes, I am trying to be as unlikable as possible, thanks for asking. Now they're going to have to throw the challenge to get rid of me.
Kiki was in the ballroom, looking out of one of the windows, when she heard the door open and close behind her.
"Oh, good morning, David," Kiki smiled. When she turned around, however, she was shocked to see that it was not David who had entered the ballroom, but Ernie.
"So that's what you sound like," Ernie smirked.
"Oh, uh, yeah…" Kiki stammered.
"Are you able to talk to me, or should I just, like, go?" Ernie asked.
"Actually…" Kiki trailed off. "I think I can do this. I think I can trust you."
"Well that's, like, good to know, because that's actually why I came to talk to you," Ernie stated. "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but Lauren's, ya know, been running this entire team."
"She has been the deciding vote in each elimination…" Kiki realized.
"That's why I'm, like, giving you an offer," Ernie nodded. "What do we say we bury the hatchet and form a three-person alliance to take out Lauren? You, David, and I."
"You'd… still be on the outs of the alliance," Kiki informed him.
"I know. But if the three of us all, like, make the merge, we can use the numbers," Ernie explained. "And with Tucker, ya know, out of here, I think we could do better in challenges, so I doubt we'd be losing often."
"What if we don't lose any more challenges… and Lauren makes the merge too?" Kiki asked.
"Then we tell the others about how she plays and, like, make her a target," Ernie answered. "I don't trust her to stay loyal to us for a second."
"Good point…" Kiki nodded. "But keep in mind… if you do join the alliance… I'm still the leader of it."
"Whatevs," Ernie shrugged. "Thanks for the talk, alliance mate."
Confessional:
Kiki: Wow, I'm in an alliance with two guys? If I can do that, I feel like I can do anything in this game. With my superior smarts, I can really win this.
Ernie: When worse comes to worst, you gotta, like, take drastic measures. Honestly, I've never really hated Kiki. She's just been a, like, rival. But in this case, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, ya know?
Judy had spent the night sleeping on one of the couches in the foyer. When she finally awoke, she noticed Bailey walking by.
"Oh, good morning, Bailey," Judy yawned.
"It's, um, it's 11:45," Bailey said quietly.
"Ah," Judy then frowned as she remembered what her team had done to her the previous night. "Look, I'm really sorry about the other night. Can you at least not kick me out again tonight? I feel like I've served my sentence."
"Honestly, I, uh… I never wanted this," Bailey admitted. "That was all… Franklin's idea…"
"Franklin?" Judy asked.
"I know I'm, um, not a very good person, but, um, yes, I had nothing to do with it," Bailey continued.
"I never took Franklin to be the strict type," Judy thought aloud. "Maybe he's just really protective of you."
"O-O-Oh…" Bailey's face flushed at this suggestion.
"Aw, you're blushing," Judy said with a sweet smile. "Do you like Franklin?"
"M-Mind your own business… um, please…" Bailey said as her posture began to shrink.
"Right. Sorry," Judy apologized.
"It's… it's alright," Bailey said with a weak smile.
Confessional:
Judy: I'm glad Bailey is starting to forgive me. At least, I think she is. Though, from what I hear, I may need Franklin's forgiveness as well. I wonder what's gotten into him.
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) I don't doubt that Judy feels remorse for what she did, though whether it's because she really feels bad or just because she got called out is to be determined. Still, though, I feel like I should try to forgive her. I want to be a good person.
Erica went to the armory for some alone time.
"Another day, another twenty-four hours of having to put up with my teammates," Erica muttered.
Just then, the door burst open.
"Hey, bestie!" CJ shouted.
"Aw, geez…" Erica groaned.
"Where'd you find all these weapons?" CJ asked, impressed. "You could do some real damage with these things."
"You don't have the balls," Erica retorted.
"Eh, maybe not," CJ shrugged smugly. "So, how's Casper the Unfriendly Ghost doing?"
"What'd you call me?" Erica asked as she raised a fist to CJ.
"What? You call yourself a ghost all the time. How's it fair that I can't?" CJ asked with a wicked grin.
"Because you're not albino," Erica growled. "Check your privilege."
"Or, I could keep calling you Casper the Unfriendly Ghost, and you can suck it. Hahaha." CJ gave Erica the finger as she left the armory.
Confessional:
Erica: I don't want CJ eliminated. I want her dead.
CJ: Hopefully, by the end of the day, the fans will hate me so much that I won't be roped into an All-Star season.
David nervously entered the kitchen.
"Uh, Yolonda?" David called. "You busy?"
"Yeah, sugar, I am. Sorry," Yolonda called from the kitchen.
"Aw, man," David sulked.
"What's going on?" Lauren asked as she entered the kitchen.
"Yolonda's been kinda busy these days," David asked. "I want to talk to her, but I can't."
"'Busy', huh?" Lauren asked. "And you really believe her?"
"What?" David seemed shocked.
"Trust me, as a girl, a flirtatious girl at that, I know all the excuses," Lauren grinned.
"E-Excuses?" David whimpered.
"Yup. You've been bugging her too much. You're starting to annoy her. She's just too polite to tell you," Lauren explained.
"Whoa… really?" was all David could say.
"I can help you, you know," Lauren offered. "If you promise to vote how I tell you the next opportunity we get, I'll put in a good word to Yolonda for you."
"I mean… I don't know…" David said, clearly having not recovered from what Lauren told him.
"I'll give you time to think about it," Lauren said with a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
Confessional:
Lauren: Lies can get you so far in this game if you use them right. That should tip the scale in my direction. (she snickers)
David: I mean, I thought Yolonda and I were cool, but… I guess not. (he sighs) It's things like this that are the reason I hate getting rejected. How many other people am I secretly annoying? Am I annoying Kiki too?
Frankin and Chappy both worked out in the gym at the same time.
"So, I'm surprised you took our side in the Bailey vs. Judy debate," Franklin noted.
"We all have our secrets," Chappy remarked. "And I'm the kind who likes to keep mine a secret."
"You have secrets?" Franklin asked with raised eyebrows.
"Yes, and that's all you need to know," Chappy said with a slight leer.
"That's fair. I'm the same way, actually," Franklin responded. "Hence why I wanted Preston out."
"Did you really believe he knew all our secrets?" Chappy asked.
"Well, he did mention my abusive parents to me," Franklin answered. He then realized what he'd just said. "Aw, geez."
"Hey, don't worry about it," Chappy said with a grin. "I actually have issues with parents too."
"Do you?" Franklin asked. "I guess it's none of my business."
"I feel like we could look out for each other, though," Chappy added. "We both know the struggles of not having supportive parents."
"I'm still not going to vote for Bailey," Franklin said sternly.
"I know. I don't expect you to," Chappy grinned.
Confessional:
Franklin: I don't understand. Does Chappy want Judy gone now? It's entirely possible, with what just happened. I don't think I'll rule him out as a potential ally.
Chappy: You may not want to vote for Bailey now, but you will soon, Franklin. Now that I've earned his trust, the first step is complete. Tch. Who's a loser now?
Rachel, Barry, and Nolan all met up in the game room.
"Alright, so, I had a cool idea," Rachel said. "Both of you are the only ones who know that my flirtation is fake, so I thought we could make this interesting."
"Define 'interesting'," Nolan said with an arched eyebrow.
"An alliance of three. The merge is probably getting close, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to stick together," Rachel explained.
"I already told you that the dice said 'no' to aligning with you," Nolan reminded Rachel.
"You also promised to vote my way next time we had to vote," Rachel reminded Nolan.
"That was a lie and you know it," Nolan responded.
"Where was I when all this happened?" Barry asked.
"Talking to Erica, probably," Rachel answered. "Anyway, Nolan, would it be possible for you to align with Barry, with no strings attached to me?"
"I suppose it's worth a roll," Nolan said as he rolled his die. "The dice say 'yes'. Looks like we have a deal."
"Nice. Now, the first order of business is to vote for Erica," Rachel said.
"Why Erica? Why not CJ?" Barry asked.
"CJ can go at any time," Rachel explained. "Besides, Erica could vote against us if she makes the merge. CJ's only going to vote for herself."
"It really is the best strategic move," Nolan agreed.
"But…" Barry started, before sighing. "I guess you're right."
"Good to know we're on the same page," Rachel said with a faint smile.
Confessional:
Barry: I guess if Erica doesn't want anyone to talk to her, voting her out won't hurt. But you've seen how CJ's been these days. I'm not sure how much more of that I can take.
Rachel: Not only are Barry and Nolan friends of mine, but I think I can trust them to vote for Erica. Barry's starting to give up on her, and Nolan's officially part of the alliance, which hopefully means he'll give up the dice for two seconds and do something beneficial for all our games.
The houseguests all met in the foyer at Hatchet's request.
"Alright, soldiers. Listen up!" Hatchet barked. "Today's challenge is another Playground of Pain challenge. So GET YOUR SORRY BUTTS IN THE BUS SO WE CAN HURRY THIS UP!"
"You seem like you're in a good mood today," Lauren remarked.
"You wanna walk to the playground?" Hatchet threatened.
"It doesn't sound so threatening when you word it like that," Lauren snickered.
"Well then. Everyone but Lauren, in the bus!" Hatchet ordered.
All the houseguests, sans Lauren, rode in the bus to the Playground of Pain.
"You guys are going down, you know that?" Chappy remarked to Nolan.
"Honestly, who knows what'll happen?" Nolan replied. "We have had quite the winning record."
"Exactly. That'll only serve as more of a reason to take you down," Chappy grinned as he cracked his knuckles.
"I look forward to it," Nolan said politely.
"Yeah, tell that to your future self after we whup you," Chappy chuckled.
"Likewise," Nolan said with a nod.
Meanwhile, Kiki had struck up a conversation with Bailey.
"So… you seem pretty quiet," Kiki noticed.
"Um, well, yeah…" Bailey stammered.
"Nothing wrong with that. I've been known to be kind of quiet too," Kiki replied.
"Oh. I-I guess this is, uh, the first time I've actually, um, heard you speak," Bailey realized.
"It's possible," Kiki nodded. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you so quiet?"
"I just, um, have, trouble, you know, speaking…" Bailey said softly. "Um, w-what about you?"
"I'm kinda androphobic. Being around guys makes me anxious," Kiki admitted. "Hence why I took the window seat next to a girl."
"Interesting…" Bailey thought aloud.
"So, do you have a speech impediment, or are you just really shy?" Kiki asked.
Before Bailey could answer, Hatchet shouted at the top of his lungs.
"WE'RE HERE!"
After the contestants exited the bus, they noticed that the Playground of Pain was mostly empty, with only a small raised platform and two shut chests in the middle of the bark.
"Uh, Hatchet? Aren't you, like, forgetting something?" Ernie asked as he gestured to the Playground's emptiness.
"Nope. And I'll be happy to explain what's going on once Lauren gets here," Hatchet said with a dark grin. "So y'all get to wait in the sweltering summer heat for her to arrive before the challenge starts."
"It's only eighty degrees out here," Franklin commented.
"DO YOU WANNA MAKE EVERYONE RUN LAPS UNTIL SHE GETS HERE TOO?!" Hatchet threatened.
"I'll pass," Franklin replied.
Just then, Hatchet's cell phone rang.
"What is it?" Hatchet asked as he answered the phone.
"Lauren's not going to leave," Yolonda said on the other line. "She keeps hitting on me, too," she whispered.
"Tell her that if she doesn't show up in ten minutes, she'll get two penalty votes for the next time she loses!" Hatchet barked."
"Got it," Yolonda said as she hung up.
Confessional:
Ernie: Wow, Lauren's lazy. And that's coming from me.
Lauren: Well shoot, if the alternative is penalty votes, I think I can give up hitting on the hot chef girl. I have priorities, you know.
Lauren ran up to the Playground, panting and winded.
"I'm here! I'm here!" Lauren insisted.
"And just in time, too," Hatchet stated. "Ten seconds later, and you woulda got those penalty votes."
"So what's the challenge?" Judy asked.
"Swordplay!" Hatchet announced as he walked up to the chests and opened them. "The challenge will consist of many one-on-one sword battles."
"That seems really dangerous," Barry noted.
"It would be if we were allowed to use actual swords," Hatchet remarked. "So we're using these padded fake swords. Apparently even wooden swords were 'too violent' for our producers. Buncha pansies. WHAT SHOW DO THEY THINK THEY'RE RUNNIN'?! DID THEY NOT SEE THE ALL-STARS FINALE?!"
"Uh, Hatchet. The challenge?" Franklin interrupted.
"Er, right," Hatchet coughed. "Anyway, each round, two contestants will go up on this platform and fight each other usin' these swords. Once someone falls off the edge, they're out of the challenge. Then the winner of that round picks the next two people to go. First team to lose all its members is in last place and has to vote someone out tonight. Second team to lose all its members will get second place. The last team will be in first place."
"Sounds easy enough," Nolan nodded.
"Also, for variety's sake, each contestant can choose from three different types of swords," Hatchet continued. "A one-handed shortsword, a two-handed broadsword, and a rapier. Each choice has its own strengths and weaknesses, so be careful with what you pick."
"So who's going first?" David asked curiously.
"Well, since Team Flame has one too many people, let's go with… Erica and Nolan!" Hatchet decided.
Confessional:
Erica: I'm fine with this challenge. Lets me take out some aggression on my asshole teammates.
Nolan: You might not know this about me, but I know a thing or two about swords, so this is probably my favorite challenge so far.
Erica grabbed a shortsword, and Nolan, a rapier. The two of them got up on the platform and stood on opposite ends.
Hatchet blew a whistle, and the challenge went underway. Nolan dropped his sword and held his arms up in defeat.
"What the hell are you doing?" Erica asked.
"I fold," Nolan replied. "Dice rules and such."
"You know, I might hate you less if that dice rule didn't make you so annoying," Erica remarked snidely.
"Why not use that hatred to send me out of the challenge?" Nolan offered.
Erica displayed a brief look of confusion before deciding to attack Nolan with her fake sword. Within the span of a few swings, she had knocked the gambler off of the platform.
Hatchet blew his whistle "Nolan's out!" he announced. "Erica, pick two people to go up!"
"I dunno. Blonde athlete girl and heavy metal guy," Erica shrugged uncaringly.
"Judy. David. You're up!" Hatchet barked.
Confessional:
Erica: I just chose who I thought would be the biggest threat on each team. Not that anyone appreciates my strategy.
Judy: I'm in some hot water right now, so I wouldn't mind winning this challenge. I mean, there's no guarantee I'd go home, but there's also no guarantee I'd stay either.
David: If I can't win Yolonda's heart, I guess I can always win the challenge. It won't keep me from being annoying, but it'll help my ego. …I think.
Judy had chosen a broadsword, while David had chosen a shortsword. Hatchet blew his whistle, and the challenge had begun.
Judy took a powerful swing with her sword as if it were a baseball bat, but David had managed to duck in time. He took the window of time this had opened to deliver a jab to Judy's stomach, causing her to bend over in pain.
"Aw, geez. Sorry," David said awkwardly.
"That's alright," Judy said with a smirk. She took advantage of David's hesitation by swinging her sword at his legs, knocking him to his knees.
"Come on, I thought you were strong," Judy said in a playfully teasing manner.
"I am!" David insisted as Judy took one more swing, sending him launching off the platform.
Hatchet blew his whistle. "David is out! Judy, pick the next two to go!"
"Sorry about that, David," Judy said sincerely. "To make it up to you, I'll put up two from Team Flame."
"Cool, thanks," David smiled.
"Um… CJ and Rachel, you're up," Judy decided.
Confessional:
David: That was actually pretty cool of Judy. Maybe I'll repay her for it sometime. I dunno.
Rachel: Well, this round should be over shortly.
CJ and Rachel had taken their spots on the platform, the former with a shortsword, and the latter with a rapier. Hatchet blew his whistle.
"Welp, you know how I am with challenges," CJ said as she walked towards the edge of the platform.
"It matters little to me," Rachel said as she closed her eyes in a confident grin.
Just as CJ was about to walk off the edge, she turned around and began charging at Rachel.
"Wait, what?!" Rachel gasped. Before the brainy flirt had a chance to defend herself, CJ had knocked her clean off the platform.
"That's for being a filthy chink!" CJ cackled.
"Well, Rachel's out… I guess," Hatchet said as he scratched his head.
"I choose me and Barry to go next!" CJ announced.
Confessional:
Rachel: Well… that happened.
CJ: I'm participating? What's this sorcery?! Actually, this challenge is great for me. If I beat the living tar out of my teammates, they won't want to keep me around.
CJ kept her shortsword, and Barry took a rapier. Hatchet blew his whistle, and the round began.
"Nice pussy sword, beaner," CJ scoffed.
"I refuse to hurt you," Barry frowned.
"Tch. You guys are making this too easy," CJ sneered. "At least Mac would have fought back. You and Nolan aren't real men."
"A real man will not lay harm upon a woman," Barry insisted.
"Interesting," CJ said as she approached Barry. She then jammed the hilt of her sword into Barry's crotch. "Not even if that happens?"
"…No…" Barry squeaked as he fell to his side, curled up.
"Pathetic," CJ spat as she kicked Barry off the edge of the platform.
"Barry is out!" Hatchet announced.
"I choose me and Erica," CJ stated before Hatchet was given an opportunity to ask.
Confessional:
Chappy: That girl knows how to kick ass. She could do some real damage if she weren't always throwing challenges. Like an idiot.
Ernie: I honestly can't help but wonder if this is all some grand strategy on CJ's part. Pretend like she wants out, then, like, beast the challenges when nobody expects it. I may have to, like, ask her later. Assuming she doesn't, ya know, get voted out tonight, which seems like a real possibility.
CJ and Erica had both taken shortswords once again, and both took their sides on the platform.
"Ready to become a real ghost, Casper?" CJ mocked.
"I think you need to learn some manners," Erica grunted.
"I think you need to learn some die!" CJ retorted.
Hatchet blew his whistle.
Erica ran towards CJ, her sword primed for attack. CJ took a swing at Erica's legs, but the latter managed to block it in time. Erica then knocked CJ back with her shoulder and went in for a swing of her own, but the artist managed to block Erica's hit as well.
"Heh. Not bad for a social reject who overcompensates for her own insecurity by shutting others out," CJ remarked. "Maybe now Barry will notice you."
"…Fuck you!" Erica shouted. She took a powerful swing to CJ's head, knocking her dizzy. Erica followed up by pounding on CJ over and over in the face, body, and legs, until the latter was a quivering mess.
"Erica! You're supposed to knock her off, not knock her out!" Barry called.
"Then she should leave now before I do some permanent damage!" Erica shouted.
CJ crawled as quickly as she could off the platform, which was still rather slowly.
"CJ is out!" Hatchet announced. "Erica, choose two players to fight."
"I don't care! Fat Girl and Cyclops!" Erica shouted as she walked away from the playground.
"Where do you think you're goin'?!" Hatchet shouted after her.
"Back to the house!" Erica shouted back.
"If you do, you'll forfeit the challenge for your team!" Hatchet called.
"See if I care!" Erica returned.
"Well then. In that case, Team Flame is in last place and will be votin' someone out tonight," Hatchet informed the teens. "Bailey and Franklin, you're up."
Confessional:
Erica: CJ can burn in hell for all I care.
Barry: That was… frightening. I didn't hear what CJ said to egg Erica on like that, but I think I need to have a talk with both of them.
CJ: Erica better not get voted out over me because of that!
Franklin and Bailey each took a rapier and stood at their respective places.
"I, um, I don't want to… hurt you," Bailey frowned.
"I don't want to hurt you either," Franklin replied. "Should one of us just forfeit?"
"I'll, um, I'll do it," Bailey offered. "I'm afraid, um, I won't be, uh, very useful in this… challenge."
"Good call," Franklin agreed.
Bailey walked off the edge of the platform.
"Uh, Bailey's out," Hatchet sighed. "That was anticlimactic to say the least. Franklin, pick the next two fighters."
"Kiki and Lauren," Franklin decided.
Confessional:
Franklin: I've seen Ernie's performance in challenges, or lack thereof, rather, so I knew it'd be best to save him for last. If it comes down to a Team Thunder member and a Team Chill member, I like my odds with an easy win.
Lauren: I wonder if seeing who can make out the hardest is a viable alternative in this challenge. I know I said it was a one-time thing, but hey, I'm a hormonal teenager, cut me a break.
Kiki took a rapier and Lauren took a broadsword. Hatchet blew the whistle to signify that the challenge had begun.
"You know, you look pretty hot holding a sword like that," Lauren teased. "I wonder how you'd handle a different kind of sword. Maybe we can show each other sometime."
"No, Lauren," Kiki glared.
"I know, I know," Lauren smirked. She took a powerful swing at Kiki, knocking the latter back rather far.
"Since when are you so strong?" Kiki asked.
"I'm not strong. You're just so adorably petite," Lauren replied.
"Stop hitting on me," Kiki said harshly as she jabbed her rapier at Lauren.
"Aw, but you make it so fun," Lauren chuckled as she recovered. She took another swing at Kiki, knocking the petite girl dangerously close to the edge.
"This is sexual harassment, you know," Kiki frowned.
"That's your opinion," Lauren smirked as she knocked Kiki off the edge.
"Kiki is out!" Hatchet announced.
"I pick Judy and Chappy to go up next," Lauren said.
Confessional:
Lauren: Messing with Kiki probably isn't best for my strategic game in case I need her as an ally, but hey, you only live once.
Kiki: As far as I can tell, the only thing that differentiates Lauren from Tucker is that Lauren is a bit smarter. Thank heavens she's the next to go.
Judy and Chappy both chose broadswords and took their places. Hatchet blew the whistle and the challenge had begun.
Chappy immediately charged towards Judy, roaring with adrenaline.
"Whoa, Chappy, calm down," Judy said in a slight panic.
Before Chappy could land a hit, Judy put her guard up. Due to inertia, Chappy had stumbled backward when his hit was blocked.
"What the?" Chappy asked, clearly confused from what had happened.
"Look, I know you're mad at me," Judy said as she took a swing. "But can't we talk this out?"
"I can't trust you anymore, Judy," Chappy replied sternly as he blocked. "Talking it out is out of the question."
"But what about helping you with your losing issues?" Judy asked.
"Nobody can help me with my issues," Chappy leered as he took another swing, this one also blocked. "The only thing that can help me now is that prize money."
"I can help you, Chappy," Judy insisted as she connected a hit to Chappy. "Just let me know what's wrong."
"It's none of your business!" Chappy snapped.
"You'll never get better if you don't tell anyone what's wrong," Judy said as she connected once again.
"There's nothing wrong with me," Chappy growled.
"The first step to recovery is-" Judy started.
"It's none of your business!" Chappy repeated.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Judy sighed. She took one more swing, and Chappy fell off the platform.
"Chappy is out!" Hatchet announced.
"I pick Ernie and Lauren," Judy said pensively.
Confessional:
Judy: Chappy definitely has some sort of reason for his disdain towards losing. I need to know what it is in order to help him. Why must he be so adamant about this?
Chappy: Just because I'm faking my hatred towards Judy doesn't mean I'm gonna tell her all my secrets. I don't see her sharing any of her secrets with anyone.
Ernie took a shortsword, while Lauren opted for a broadsword.
"Alright, let's, like, get this overwith," Ernie yawned.
"You could always quit," Lauren suggested. "I'd probably have a better shot against Judy or Franklin than you would anyway."
"Eh, I guess," Ernie shrugged as he stepped down from the platform.
"Geez, so many quitters in this challenge!" Hatchet exclaimed. "Anyway, Ernie's out!"
"I pick Franklin and Judy, natch," Lauren said.
Confessional:
Ernie: Whatever. Not like we have to vote anyone out anyway.
Franklin chose a shortsword, while Judy chose a broadsword. Hatchet blew his whistle, and the challenge begun.
"Franklin, can we talk?" Judy asked.
"What's there to talk about?" Franklin asked as he took a swing at Judy, who blocked it in time.
"Why you were so harsh to me last night," Judy answered. "That's not like you."
"Consequences have to be given to those who step out of line," Franklin said as he took another swing, this one also blocked. "That's just the way it is."
"I just wanted to help," Judy insisted. "What's wrong with that?"
"What's wrong is you violated an innocent girl's privacy," Franklin said solemnly. "That's not very helpful if you ask me."
"I see that now, and I'm sorry," Judy frowned. "Can you forgive me?"
"I accept your apology, but it doesn't change the fact that you'll be going home as soon as we can vote you out," Franklin answered as he took another swing, this one dodged.
"Alright then," Judy sighed as she took her first swing of the match. It was a clean hit, knocking Franklin onto his bottom.
"I forfeit, I forfeit!" Franklin cried.
"Oh, for cryin' out loud…" Hatchet grumbled. "Franklin's out! Judy and Lauren, get your butts onto the platform."
Confessional:
Judy: If Franklin's that dead-set on voting me out, I won't try and stop him. All I have to do is survive into the merge. Maybe see if I can get some people from the other teams to vote out Franklin.
Franklin: That was cowardly of Judy. Waiting for me to let my guard down before hitting me with all she had.
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) Ironically enough, I feel alone in not holding a grudge on Judy for what she did. She apologized and does seem like she wants to help. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps I can convince Franklin to do the same.
Judy and Lauren got onto the platform, the former with a broadsword, and the latter with a rapier.
"For first place… GO!" Hatchet blew his whistle.
Both girls ran for the center of the platform and immediately began to fight. Each time Judy took a swing, Lauren managed to dodge it, and each time Lauren took a swing, Judy managed to block it. Swing. Block. Swing. Dodge. Swing.
"You're a lot better than I thought," Judy said, panting. "I'm in my school's fencing club and you've managed to stand up to me."
"Like I said before, I know my way with a sword," Lauren chuckled, also panting.
"Want to settle this in a different way?" Judy offered.
"I thought you'd never ask," Lauren smirked. She pulled Judy closer and gave her a kiss.
"Whoa! Whoa! WHOA!" Judy panicked as she pushed Lauren backward, causing the bisexual girl to stumble back and fall off the platform.
"Team Thunder wins first place!" Hatchet announced.
"For real?!" Chappy gasped. "Hell yes!"
Confessional:
Judy: Hopefully I proved to my team that I'm too valuable to let go.
Lauren: Eh, I probably deserved that. It was still worth it.
Barry found Erica in the backyard, alone.
"Hey, I know you don't really like me, but can we-?" Barry started before being cut off.
Barry was cut off by Erica giving Barry a big hug and crying into his shoulder.
"Oh, um, what's this about?" Barry asked.
"I hate myself so much…" Erica sobbed.
"Hey, it's okay," Barry said comfortingly as he gave Erica a pat on the back.
"I wish I was dead," Erica squeaked.
"No you don't," Barry said softly. "It's alright."
"I make everyone else miserable just by living," Erica cried.
"No you don't," Barry said as he embraced Erica. "You're my friend, and I won't let you think otherwise."
Erica continued to cry as the two stood there, neither speaking another word.
Confessional:
Barry: I'm not sure what to say. I guess the poor girl just needed a push in the wrong direction in order to be led to the right direction. But… can I vote for her now?
Erica: I was totally playing that up for the cameras. You know, to add drama. (She begins blushing heavily) I just know there are Barica shippers out there, and I decided to do them a favor. Don't expect any more fanservice, either.
Rachel had called Barry and Nolan to the game room for an alliance meeting.
"So, not that it bears repeating, but we're voting Erica tonight," Rachel told the boys.
"I have no problem with this," Nolan agreed.
"Really? No dice rolls or anything?" Rachel asked.
"I rolled to be in an alliance with Barry," Nolan reiterated. "I'm loyal to him."
"I actually wanted to talk about that," Barry said. "Erica seems really sorry for what she did. I don't think I'd feel right voting for her over CJ."
"And you believed her?" Rachel asked.
"What do you mean?" Barry seemed confused.
"She could have been lying to you," Rachel continued.
"I don't think she was," Barry said.
"Come on, Barry," Rachel frowned. "Do you really trust her over me?"
"…I need some time to think," Barry said as he left the room.
"Do you trust him?" Nolan asked Rachel.
"I like to think I can, but who knows?" Rachel sighed.
Confessional:
Rachel: Looks like Erica's sunk her hooks back into Barry's mind. This is why she needs to go home. She's almost as talented at manipulating as I am, plus she's not afraid to get violent, as this latest challenge proved.
Nolan: Of course, the part about being loyal to Barry was a lie. The dice rules are still in effect, alliance or no alliance. I just didn't want Rachel to get any more stressed than she probably was, so I didn't tell her. I might still vote for Erica, but that's for the dice to decide, not Rachel.
Barry sat in the rec room, praying.
"Lord, give me the wisdom to vote for who deserves it the most…" Barry said quietly.
"You talking to yourself?" a voice asked. Barry opened his eyes to see that CJ had entered the room.
"Actually, I was praying," Barry corrected.
"So you were talking to yourself then?" CJ asked. "You know, because there's no God."
"You have your beliefs, and I have mine," Barry said with some pain in his tone.
"Yeah, well your beliefs are wrong," CJ smirked. "If there was a God, then why was there a big bang?"
"I'm not in the mood for apologetics right now, CJ," Barry said in annoyance.
"Of course you're not. Because I'm right, and you're just too much of a pussy to admit it," CJ said arrogantly.
"CJ, not now," Barry sighed exasperatedly.
"Your loss. See you in hell, beaner," CJ scoffed as she left.
Confessional:
Barry: If that wasn't a sign, I don't know what is.
CJ: Arguing with Christians is fun!
Nolan ran into Erica as they both went for the confessional to cast their votes.
"Ah, Erica. Just the person I was hoping to see," Nolan greeted.
"What do you want?" Erica snorted.
"Look, Rachel's lobbying to get you voted out," Nolan explained. "I can save you, but in order to do that, I need you to do something for me."
"And why should I trust you?" Erica snapped.
Nolan whispered something into Erica's ear.
"Why would you want me to do that?" Erica asked.
Nolan whispered something else into Erica's ear.
"If you're lying to me right now…" Erica threatened.
"Then you wouldn't be here to do anything to me," Nolan finished for her. "Think about it."
Confessional:
Nolan: Rachel thinks she's in control of this team, but I have my own agenda.
Erica: Nolan's either a genius or a moron. Probably a moron. But hey, if he's offering to save me, I'm not gonna argue.
The five members of Team Flame sat on one of the couches in the foyer. Hatchet came down the grand staircase carrying an ice box. He set the ice box down next to him as he stood across from the contestants.
"Team Flame, it's been a while since I last saw y'all here," Hatchet remarked. "In case y'all forgot, if ya get a soda, then you're safe. If ya don't, then you're out. Now. Sodas go to…"
"Barry."
"Rachel."
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"Erica."
"Pardon?" Rachel asked in shock.
This left CJ and Nolan in the bottom.
"The final soda goes to…" Hatchet started.
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"Aw, why bother with the suspense?" Nolan asked as he took a can of soda out of his pocket.
"What is that?" CJ asked.
"If you recall, Hatchet left an extra soda at the end of our very first challenge," Nolan explained. "He said that whoever finds that soda can use it as a free pass for Invincibility."
"So you're using it to save yourself?" Rachel asked.
"No. I'm using it to save CJ," Nolan corrected.
"What? Why?" Rachel gasped.
"Dice rules. Sorry," Nolan apologized as he handed his soda to CJ.
"But you said-" Rachel started.
"I lied," Nolan said with a smirk. "It's been fun, guys. Be sure to kick butt."
"Wait! You get your ass back here!" CJ called as Nolan left for the Door of Shame.
"Bye," Nolan said with a wave as he exited the McLean Mansion.
"Son of a BITCH!" CJ shouted as she threw the can of soda Nolan had given her at the Door.
"Well, that was an unpredictable way to go," Hatchet remarked. "Probably fittin' for someone as unpredictable in this game as Nolan. Or somethin'. I don't care. Off to the backyard with the rest of y'all!"
Confessional:
CJ: I'm going to kill someone. I'm going to freaking kill someone!
Barry: Well, I must say, that was unexpected. Shame CJ had to stay, but we can always get her next time.
"It just goes to show that you can never be too sure how a vote's gonna go," Hatchet told the camera. "Will Barry choose between his loyalties to Erica and Rachel? Will Judy find a way out of her predicament? And why does everyone on Team Chill keep hittin' on my niece?! Guess you'll have to find out later. Next time! On Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Votes:
CJ: Me! Me! Oh my sweet buttery Jesus, me!
Rachel: Erica's a threat to me in a number of ways. There's no way I can let her stick around.
Barry: I vote for CJ. The way she's been acting is simply unacceptable.
Erica: Well, Nolan wants me to vote for him, and he has that hidden soda in case I do get the most votes, so I'm safe either way. What the hell? Might as well vote for him.
Nolan: Dice rules say to vote for myself. Guess this is as long as I was meant to last. Ah well. I probably wouldn't have lasted much longer with this dice twist anyway.
A/N: It might not have seemed like it, but Nolan was probably one of my favorite characters to write. His twist was fun because it left him as a complete wild card, and yet he still stayed complex, intelligent, and snarky despite that. Of course, gimmicks can only be interesting for so long, so I decided to let Nolan go now.