A/N: Alright guys, how about one more HP before I get back to ROTC for a bit? I've actually decided on a pattern: three episodes of House Party, then two episodes of Revenge of the Crossover, then three more episodes of HP, rinse, and repeat. With that out of the way, more House Party! :D
"Last time on Total Drama House Party…" Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "The houseguests climbed their way to victory in the most painful Playground of Pain challenge yet! CJ started creepin' her teammates out when she started actin' all nice to everyone, not that that stopped Rachel from makin' deals with her. On Team Chill, Lauren continued tryin' to get David to flip to her side, while Ernie and Kiki bonded a little. Things didn't go so well on Team Thunder, though, as Chappy's schemin' ended up with Franklin unable to trust anybody! Things were lookin' good for Team Flame, until CJ stabbed her new ally Rachel in the back and pushed her off their team's mountain, costing them the challenge and breakin' Rachel's arm in the process, which also got Yolonda on my case about not havin' a no violence rule. It ain't her business! Needless to say, CJ had the votes to go home that night, puttin' Team Flame back in the minority. Can Team Flame recover from their numbers disadvantage? Who's really loyal to who on Team Chill? And can Franklin trust anyone on Team Thunder? Find out, ya fool! Only on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
The three members of Team Flame went out to the backyard.
"About time I got some sleep," Erica grumbled. "Today's been stupid stressful."
"And you're the one who came out the least harmed," Rachel added. "I didn't know you cared about me."
"On the plus side, now that there's only three of us, all of us can sleep in a lawn chair tonight," Barry said, trying to keep optimistic. "Do you need any help, Rachel?"
"I should be fine," Rachel smiled. "But thanks for the offer."
Erica glared at Rachel.
"What?" Rachel asked, noticing the albino girl's leer.
"What?" Erica responded defensively.
"You were glaring at me," Rachel pointed out.
"No I wasn't," Erica huffed.
"Ladies, please. Like Erica said, it's been a stressful day," Barry interjected. "I really don't think I can handle any more. Can we please just go to sleep?"
Both girls looked at Barry with a hint of concern, then looked at each other and made a silent agreement to stop arguing.
Confessional:
Erica: I don't feel bad for Rachel breaking her arm at all. Yeah, what CJ did was stupid and awful, but now Rachel has all this sympathy from Barry. Psh. She doesn't need his sympathy. She's already got him wrapped around her little finger.
Rachel: To my knowledge, Erica doesn't know that my flirtation is a farce, so I don't know what I did to warrant her leering at me. Geez, you can't have even a little sympathy for a girl who'd just broken her humerus? If our roles were reversed, she'd be expecting nothing but sympathy, I'd bet.
Team Thunder made their way back to the basement.
"I kinda missed being here," Judy chuckled.
"I didn't," Chappy grunted. "Second place is only a partial win. First place is a complete win. 'Sides, they have mini fridges in the first place rooms. Completely stocked with Mountain Dew."
"Mine came with, um, pineapple juice," Bailey chimed in. "It's my… my favorite."
"Mine came with Gatorade," Judy added. "Stereotypical, I know, but there's nothing like a nice sugary drink after an intense game."
"Um, what about you, Franklin?" Bailey asked. "What did your, um, mini fridge have in it?"
Franklin did not answer Bailey's question, instead opting to go directly to sleep in his bed.
"Oh... Okay… I see…" Bailey said, hugging her body out of embarrassment. "Sorry…"
"No reason to apologize," Judy said comfortingly as she put a hand on Bailey's shoulder. "Franklin's the one who's choosing to exclude himself from the discussion."
"After what you two have been pulling behind his back, I can't say I blame him," Chappy scolded. "I'd be mad at you too. In fact, I kind of am. I trusted you, Judy, and here you went and betrayed me like this."
"Look, I don't know where you got the idea that I was in a side alliance with Bailey, but it's completely false," Judy frowned. "We're just friends."
"Um, it's… it's, um, true," Bailey nodded.
"Of course you'd deny it. But I know the truth," Chappy snorted.
Confessional:
Franklin: I can't trust anyone on this team. Judy I've been iffy on ever since the journal incident, Chappy's been an enemy of mine for a long time, and though he could be telling the truth, he could also be lying. And Bailey… (he sighs) I want to trust her. I really do. We've been friends since the beginning. But after hearing a convincing argument that she might double-cross me, I'm not so sure.
Chappy: I've got to earn Franklin's trust back. The only way I can do that is to make the girls look bad in front of him. If I insist that Judy and Bailey were conspiring against him, he has no choice but to believe me unless they can somehow prove me wrong. Bada-bing, bada-boom, he votes Bailey, and we're all happy.
Team Chill were on their way to the first place rooms.
"You know, I totally kicked butt leading our team in today's challenge," Lauren pointed out. "Maybe we could make this a permanent thing."
"Give it up, Lauren," Kiki said with a roll of her eyes. "I have the numbers once again, and this time there's nothing you can do about it."
"Wait, what?" David asked.
"Oh, did Kiki not, like, tell you?" Ernie asked. "I'm aligned with Kiki now."
"Tch. Whatever," Lauren scoffed. "If I keep leading the team in challenges, then you won't be able to vote me off anyway, even if you did have allies."
"It's actually sad how you think you still have a chance," Kiki grinned. "Face it. You're dead girl walking, and no amount of sexual favors can save you now."
"I thought you were trying to forget what we did before," Lauren chuckled.
"We never made it farther than second base and you know it!" Kiki snapped.
"Whatever," Lauren snickered. "Oh, and for the record, I liked you a lot better when you were quiet all the time."
"Dude, how about this catfight?" David snickered to Ernie.
"Eh, I'll wait until slapping is involved. Then we can, like, call it a real catfight," Ernie smirked.
Confessional:
Lauren: Kiki's getting feisty, isn't she? I need to work David fast. Ernie shouldn't be difficult since he doesn't care about anything, but David's too nice to flip that easily. If Yolonda doesn't end up with David soon, everyone's favorite bisexual might be everyone's favorite pre-merge boot, and that won't look good on me at all.
Ernie: It's not, like, a true catfight unless there's slapping and pulling hair and stuff. Bitchy squabbling doesn't count – that's just, ya know, annoying. Knowing Lauren, I'm honestly surprised it, like, never got physical.
Team Flame were eating their breakfast that morning in the dining area.
"I don't know how Yolonda manages to make white bread and tap water taste good, but she's done it," Barry smiled.
"That's because we didn't get any dinner," Erica said. "After going to sleep hungry, even butternut squash soup would sound good."
"You're not a fan of butternut squash soup, I take it?" Rachel asked.
"No," Erica said harshly with a glare.
"You're glaring at me again," Rachel pointed out.
"Shut up. No I'm not," Erica said as she slammed her head on the table.
"Look, I know there's a way we can settle this," Barry offered.
"That's alright. I was just finishing my breakfast anyway," Rachel said as she stood up. "I suppose I might as well brush my teeth."
As Rachel left the dining area, she nudged Erica's hood on the way out.
"Hey!" Erica snapped. Just then, she felt something scratching the back of her neck. She felt for it to find a folded-up piece of paper where Rachel had nudged her.
"What's that?" Barry asked as Erica unfolded it.
"How should I know?" Erica asked defensively as she also left the dining area.
Confessional:
Erica: What's Rachel doing?! First she starts voting for me, now she's just doing these little things to piss me off! As for what the note said, that's none of your business.
Barry: I should be ecstatic that everyone left on this team is a friend of mine, but the problem is, they don't seem to like each other very much. I need to do something about it… but what?
Judy found Bailey sitting alone at the balcony table, forlornly staring at her notebook.
"Hey, Bailey," Judy said with a warm smile as she sat across from the quiet girl.
"Oh, um, hello," Bailey replied.
"You look lonely," Judy pointed out.
"…I am…" Bailey admitted. "It's just… Franklin was my… my only friend in the game. But now he… won't talk to, uh, any of us."
"What about me?" Judy asked, sounding more disappointed than offended. "I thought I was your friend."
"You are, but…" Bailey trailed off.
"But what? Actually, never mind. It's probably none of my business," Judy decided.
There was a pause.
"So, I don't know if this is totally awkward or not," Judy started. "But I don't suppose you would like to be in an alliance? If only to save our skins until we can get Franklin to come around. Or Chappy to go home."
"I… I… I don't know," Bailey sighed. "I, um, I considered it, but… that would mean Chappy was… right… about us. I don't want Franklin to mistrust me even more.
"That's okay. I understand," Judy said empathetically. "But hey, we can still be friends, right?"
"…That's right," Bailey said emotionlessly.
Confessional:
Judy: I really do feel bad for Bailey, in a non-condescending way. She and Franklin were really close, and now that he's cutting himself off from everybody, she doesn't really have anyone to talk to. I'll try to be there for her, but she seems a bit hesitant to be my friend.
Bailey: I know… I know I said Judy was my friend before, but… I don't know. What if… what if Susan finds out I'm friends with her biggest enemy? What if I get voted out and Susan gets really mad at me? Um, what if, um, um, um… oh, I knew I should have brought a paper with me in here! I know it, um, shouldn't concern me… what she thinks, but still…
Kiki held a meeting with her alliance in the rec room.
"Wow, this is kind of nerve-wracking," Kiki admitted. "I can't remember the last time I was alone in a room with two guys."
"So why did you, like, bring us in here?" Ernie asked.
"Look, now that Lauren knows it's her against the world, she's going to try anything to get you guys to flip. I just know it," Kiki explained.
"Yeah. So?" David asked.
"I just want you guys to be careful," Kiki said. "If she offers you anything, turn it down."
"I know, I know. I'm not, like, stupid," Ernie said, somewhat annoyed.
"Uh, yeah, what he said," David chuckled nervously.
Kiki raised an eyebrow at David, but decided not to press further.
"Anything else you need to tell us, O Captain Obvious?" Ernie snarked.
"Excuse me for looking out for you," Kiki said defensively. "You, a guy of all things."
Ernie sighed. "You have a point there. I'll shut up."
"Thank you. Meeting adjourned," Kiki said, still somewhat hurt.
Confessional:
Ernie: I was having a perfectly nice nap before, ya know, Kiki decided it was absolutely necessary to wake me up and tell me something I already knew. I mean, she's, like, my friend or something, but I'm a guy who appreciates his naps.
David: So… about that… Lauren and I already kind of made a deal where she helps me with Yolonda if I vote the way she wants in the next elimination we go to… Oh crap, this is not going to end well.
Erica entered the sauna, dressed only in a towel where she met Rachel, clad in the same way, with the addition of a plastic bag banded around her cast in order to keep it from getting wet.
"Alright, I'm here, just like the note said. What do you want?" Erica asked.
"I just wanted to talk. I figured this would be a good environment where Barry couldn't-" Rachel paused as she looked at Erica's chest. "Holy crap. Your breasts are huge!"
"S-So?" Erica blushed out of embarrassment.
"How did I never notice that before?" Rachel asked.
"Is there an actual reason you called me in here besides making me uncomfortable?" Erica grunted.
"Yeah, there is, I'm sorry," Rachel said. "It's just… wow. Did not expect that."
"If you don't stop that in the next five seconds, I'm leaving," Erica growled.
"Alright, I'll stop," Rachel decided as she broke her gaze from Erica's chest. "Look, I get the feeling you don't really like me all that much. Is that true?"
"Well you keep voting for me. I think I have the right to get angry at you," Erica snarled. "Even last night, after CJ broke your freaking arm, you still voted for me!"
"You're not wrong," Rachel admitted. "But I feel like, now that it's down to the three of us, there's no need to keep up any sort of grudges."
"Yeah, maybe you don't, but I'm not so forgiving," Erica growled. "It's going to take a lot more than a half-assed apology to get me anywhere close to your good side." She stood up and went for the door. "This was a waste of time. I'm out of here."
As soon as Erica left, Rachel muttered to herself. "Still, who knew our little Erica was so buxom?"
"I heard that!" Erica shouted behind her.
Confessional:
Erica: Okay, yeah, I'm not exactly small-chested. Told you I'm a freak. Freakishly pale skin, freakishly red eyes, freakishly white hair, and freakishly big boobs. Everywhere I go, I just have to be a freaking spectacle, don't I? At least the baggy sweatshirt hides one of those things.
Rachel: We're down to the final eleven. The merge has to be coming up soon, and when it does, I don't want Erica trying to get everyone to target me, because it will happen. Granted, if we lose before the merge, I can just get rid of her, but I don't want to take the risk, so I'm going to befriend Erica if it kills me. (She looks down at her chest and then off to the side, frowning).
Judy met up with Chappy in the gym as the latter curled weights.
"Chappy, we need to talk," Judy stated.
"About what?" Chappy responded gruffly.
"Why you keep throwing me and Bailey under the bus," Judy said somewhat angrily. "Bailey I can understand, but why me? I thought we were allies. I thought we were friends."
"We are. Trust me," Chappy grinned. "It's all part of my plan."
"Oh? And what's this plan of yours?" Judy asked accusatorily.
"All I'm doing is making Bailey look bad in front of Franklin," Chappy explained. "If I keep it up, Bailey will definitely be the next to go."
"Two votes out of four won't be enough," Judy refuted. "You don't seem like the type to risk a tie breaker. What's going on?"
"You're just gonna have to wait and see," Chappy smirked. "Unless of course you also vote for Bailey. Then we can avoid any risk of things going wrong."
"I'm voting for Franklin," Judy insisted.
"You might, but will Bailey?" Chappy asked.
Judy didn't seem to have an answer.
"That's what I thought," Chappy said smugly.
Confessional:
Judy: Is this how Chappy treats all his friends? If so, then I imagine he doesn't have very many back home. I'm going to stay loyal to him for now, since voting him out would only put more evidence towards me and Bailey conspiring, but if Franklin does end up going home next time we lose, I'm leaning more towards Bailey's side of the conflict.
Chappy: Judy should be thanking me for what I'm doing right now. If not for this, she'd still have a huge target on her back from the whole journal thing. I mean, yeah, she's still got a target, but Bailey's got a bigger one. Or at least she will, in due time.
Lauren knocked on the door to the kitchen.
"Oh Yolonda," she said in a singsongy voice as she knocked. "Yolonda, darling!"
Yolonda opened the kitchen door and sighed. "What is it, Lauren?"
"Just wanted to see how my favorite cook was doing," Lauren said innocently.
"Look, I watch the footage for this show on my breaks," Yolonda said. "I know what you're up to."
"Great, so you'll do it?" Lauren asked hopefully.
"I can't interfere with the game, sugar," Yolonda said. "As much as I'd like to talk to David, I won't do it unless you call off the part where he has to vote with you."
"But that's the whole reason I'm doing this," Lauren objected.
"Tough," Yolonda said. "Either call the deal off or I'm not talking to David."
"How is this not interfering with the game?" Lauren asked. "You're making a deal of your own."
Yolonda sighed exasperatedly. "Fine. Forget I said anything. But stop talking to me."
"But you're so gorgeous," Lauren smiled.
Yolonda shut the kitchen door.
"Oh come on!" Lauren whispered to herself.
Confessional:
Lauren: Oh well. I could probably just get back into Kiki's alliance if I wanted. I know how to push her buttons.
Yolonda: I take it Lauren's not used to not being in control. Well, I suppose now's as good a time as any for her to start getting used to it. It's a good life lesson for her to learn. That and self-control, but let's be honest, that one's going to be a lot more difficult for her.
The eleven houseguests all met up in the foyer at Hatchet's request.
"Alright, kids, listen up!" Hatchet barked. "In light of recent… events, I'm gonna make this one a bit easier for ya! SO YA BETTER BE GRATEFUL!"
"My thankfulness knows no bounds," Ernie said in complete deadpan.
"YOU'RE WELCOME!" Hatchet barked in Ernie's face. "Now! Today's challenge will take place here in the mansion. Your mission: to put on a short play for me."
"That's it?" Judy asked.
"That's right! Y'all have five hours to prepare a script, memorize your lines, and get the choreography down!" Hatchet answered.
"Actually, in the theater, choreography is called 'blocking'," Rachel corrected.
"Alright. MAKE IT FOUR HOURS!" Hatchet roared. "It don't have to be that long. Five to ten minutes should be fine. NOW MOVE, MAGGOTS, MOVE!"
Confessional:
Franklin: An acting challenge? Should be a nice break from the past couple days.
Ernie: Acting, huh? Whatever. I mean, as long as Kiki, like, doesn't flub up her lines because Hatchet's a dude or something, we should be fine.
Rachel: This is great. I've been in every school play I could since I was in high school. I even got the leading role in our school's rendition of "Mulan"… though in retrospect, that might not have been entirely because of my acting skills.
Team Flame went to the backyard to discuss ideas.
"So, any ideas?" Rachel asked.
"I think we should do something with a positive message," Barry suggested. "Maybe something about friendship."
"Do I look like I'm in the mood to do anything remotely friendly?" Erica scowled.
"Well, it could always cheer you up?" Barry suggested half-heartedly. "Ooh! Here's an idea! What if the play is about you and Rachel fighting over something, but you make up, look past your differences, and become good friends?"
"What would you do?" Rachel asked.
"Write the script? Figure out the blocking? I don't think Hatchet said each teammate had to be in the play itself," Barry thought aloud.
"He has a point," Rachel smiled. "What do you say, Erica?"
"I don't care," Erica huffed.
"Great. A story of friendship it is," Barry grinned happily.
Confessional:
Erica: Of course I don't want to do the stupid friendship play. But I was outnumbered two to one, so it's not like my vote even mattered. Whatever. Guess… there's no harm in getting on Barry's good side. N-Not that I want to. It's just… for the sake of my game. In case we lose. So he'll vote for Rachel… somehow… (she begins blushing) …Shut up!
Barry: Okay, if it weren't obvious enough, I'm trying to patch things up between Rachel and Erica. I can't stand to see my friends not getting along, and I'm hoping to fix it… with theater!
Team Thunder went down to the basement to discuss ideas for their performance.
"I'm not exactly a great actress, so I probably shouldn't have a very big role," Judy admitted.
"Um, same," Bailey added quietly.
"Well, Franklin? You want to join us in this challenge?" Chappy asked.
"Of course," Franklin answered. "I have no intention of losing any challenge until I can figure out who's really on my side."
"That's what I like to hear," Chappy grinned.
"So, um, what should our play be about?" Bailey asked.
"You're a poet, right, Bailey?" Judy asked. "Surely you've written something that could be a five-to-ten minute play."
"Um, well, I don't know…" Bailey stammered. "I mean, there is… one thing…"
"So let's hear it," Chappy said.
"It's, um, about a girl who, um, likes this boy, but, uh, he only sees her as, um, a friend, but, uh, the boy's other friends don't, uh, like her, so they, um, drift apart," Bailey explained.
"That sounds heart-rending," Judy said. "Let's do it!"
"If we do so, you'd have to play the girl," Franklin informed Judy. "Since Bailey will be writing it."
"And probably couldn't act to save her life," Chappy added.
"Oh, well, okay. I suppose neither of you could be the girl, what with the facial hair and everything," Judy agreed. "And then one of you could be the main guy and the other could be the guy's friend, so it works out."
"Nice. Another win for Team Thunder!" Chappy declared.
Confessional:
Chappy: Today's challenge couldn't be easier, and I couldn't be happier. We haven't had to vote anyone out since Susan, which only proves that Team Thunder, and me by extension, is destined for winning and for greatness.
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) I really hope I don't mess the challenge up for my team. I'm fairly sure Chappy's still targeting me, and as long as Franklin believes I've conspired against him, Chappy could easily have Franklin vote for me too… And I still wouldn't be ready to face Susan if I did get eliminated. So I have to try my very best now that the challenge is in my hands.
Meanwhile, Team Chill had gone to the hallway of first place rooms to discuss their performance.
"Ooh! I have an idea," Lauren announced.
"We're not doing a porno," Kiki said flatly.
"…Dammit," Lauren muttered.
"What if we managed to squeeze the entire story of The Pick of Destiny into ten minutes?" David suggested.
"I thought, like, you only had one guitar," Ernie pointed out. "Aren't there, ya know, two guitarists in that movie?"
"Besides, you said you didn't have anything to plug it into," Kiki added.
"Aw, you're right," David facepalmed.
"What if we did a story where, like, one of us gets kidnapped by another one of us, and the other two of us have to save the one who, like, got kidnapped?" Ernie suggested.
"That's actually not a bad idea," Lauren agreed.
"Sounds fine to me," David decided.
"Alright then," Kiki nodded. "As long as I'm not the one who gets kidnapped."
"Whatever," Ernie shrugged.
Confessional:
Kiki: This challenge is certainly a welcome break from the last two challenges, though I just now realized I have no idea how good any of us are at acting. Hopefully nobody messes this up too badly.
Ernie: We decided that Lauren would, like, kidnap Kiki, and David and I would, ya know, save her. Kiki had to be kidnapped because she's, like afraid of performing in front of the other guys or something. Truth be told, this is pretty much what happened in a dream I had last night. Only, like, Morgan Freeman was being kidnapped by Clayton from Tarzan, and Spankety and I were saving him. Dreams are weird, ya know?
Barry had moved to the dining room to write the script for his team's play.
"This play is going to be great," Barry told himself. "I hope fiction can inspire reality here."
Just then, Erica entered the room.
"Oh. Hey, Erica," Barry waved.
"Oh. Hey," Erica said bluntly.
"What brings you here?" Barry asked.
"I got hungry," Erica shrugged. "What do you care?"
"Just curious to know what my friend is up to," Barry smiled.
"Friend?" Erica seemed taken aback by this. "What happened to that part where you promised you'd leave me alone? You know, in the spaghetti cannon challenge?"
"I figured that was nullified by you crying into my shoulder and letting me comfort you a couple days later," Barry admitted.
"SHHHHH!" Erica ran up to Barry and put her hand over his mouth. "We are never to talk of that moment again. Got it?"
"Srhrrh," Barry said, his voice obstructed by Erica's hand. After Erica removed her hand, Barry continued. "So, do you want me to be your friend, or not?"
Erica was silent for a few seconds. "…I guess?"
"I'll take that as a yes," Barry smiled.
"Wh-Whatever," Erica said dismissively as she left the dining room.
"Huh. I thought she was hungry," Barry thought aloud.
Confessional:
Erica: There. All part of my plan. My plan to… get Rachel out. Yeah. I couldn't care less what Barry thinks of me. He's totally fake. I bet he's that friendly with everyone. Whatever.
Barry: I can tell Erica's not as hardened and angry as she makes herself out to be. I think she's just lonely and tries to shut others out before they can reject her. It's a common thing, from what my brother tells me.
Franklin had moved to the game room while he waited for Bailey to finish their team's script.
"People. What a bunch of bastards," Franklin snorted.
"Tell me about it," Judy said as she approached Franklin.
Franklin did not respond to Judy.
"Okay, I get that you don't trust us and stuff, but how are we supposed to earn your trust if you won't talk to us?" Judy asked.
"…You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Franklin said distantly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Judy asked.
"Trust me, that's one thing you'd rather not know," Franklin said with a slight chuckle. "But you're right. Maybe I have been acting infantile."
"You said it, not me," Judy said as she pursed her lips.
"…I suppose I can give you all one more chance," Franklin conceded. "No point in being rash."
"Yes, that's good," Judy cheered. "So, what can I do to earn your trust?"
"Prove to me that you and Bailey never had an alliance," Franklin said.
"Franklin, you know I can't do that," Judy replied.
"Well, you have until our next vote," Franklin said. "Don't stress yourself over it too much."
"I'll keep that in mind," Judy said with a hint of bitterness as she left the game room.
Confessional:
Judy: Is it just me, or is Franklin acting like he's got the top spot on this team? "Give us all one more chance"? It's not like he's in charge of everyone here. I don't need his approval.
Franklin: I feel like I'm being more than reasonable with Judy. I could always just keep her in my crosshairs for prodding in the first place. Is giving her the chance to prove herself so wrong?
David and Lauren both exited their rooms at the exact same time.
"Oh. Hey, Davie," Lauren winked.
"Uh, hey," David replied. "Say, not to be impatient or anything, but how's it going with Yolonda?"
"She wouldn't have it," Lauren shrugged. "I begged her, but she just wouldn't go for it. Sucks, too. I always thought you two would be cute together."
David sighed. "That does suck."
"Sorry. I did what I could," Lauren apologized.
"That's alright. It's not your fault," David sighed sadly. "So, does this mean the deal's off?"
"No, of course not," Lauren said in a slight panic. "I, uh, I can always find you another gal. One who won't crush your heart into the dirt."
"I guess so…" David said. "Just give me a while to get over Yolonda, alright?"
"No problem. You take as long as you need," Lauren said empathetically.
"Thanks," David said with a smile.
"Hey, what are friends for?" Lauren replied.
Confessional:
David: I don't know why Kiki's freaking out over Lauren. Okay, I mean, I do, but Lauren can be nice and not weird when she wants to be.
Lauren: I can't call off my deal with David. Not only would he vote for me if we lost, but Yolonda would also probably tell him what I'm trying to do. So if I have to pretend like I give a damn about his love life to do so, it's no skin off my nose. Plus, it gives me more of a chance to score with Yolonda. I mean, she probably won't be too happy knowing what I'm doing, but it's like that constantly drunk guy at my school always says: "Anger sex is the best kind of sex."
"Alright, everyone!" Hatchet's voice rang through the intercom. "Your four hours is up! Get yourselves to the foyer NOW! I don't have all day, and neither do y'all, so GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE NOW! MOVE, MAGGOTS, MOVE!"
Confessional:
Rachel: Barry's script was pretty easy to memorize, if I do say so myself. It's your basic friendship drivel. We should have this one in the bag.
Bailey: I, uh, I haven't finished the script yet… I wanted it to be perfect! So we wouldn't, um lose... I, uh, hope my team can memorize what I do have. And, um, improvise the rest… maybe?
Kiki: Ernie was able to finish the script pretty quickly, so we had plenty of time to memorize our lines and blocking. Though, David seemed to be a bit down. I wonder if something's bothering him.
The eleven contestants made it to the foyer. A small wooden stage with a curtain rack had been placed in the middle of it, as well as a comfy-looking chair across from the stage, where Hatchet sat to watch.
"Alright, by random draw, Team Chill will be the first to perform!" Hatchet announced.
"Okay guys, let's break a leg," Kiki told her team.
The play began with Ernie, David, and Kiki hanging out on the far left of the stage.
"So, how's your day been?" David asked Ernie sadly.
"Can't complain, can't complain," Ernie replied. "How are things with your wife?"
Just then, Lauren snuck up behind the others.
"I don't have a wife," David replied bluntly.
"Then who was that gorgeous woman you were with the other day?" Ernie asked.
"That… that was my mom," David responded half-heartedly.
Lauren managed to snatch Kiki while the two boys weren't looking.
"Oh no, Kiki's being kidnapped," David said unconvincingly.
"Well, we'd better go save her," Ernie added.
The curtains closed. A couple seconds later, Kiki had duct tape over her mouth and her hands were tied behind her back.
"Excellent. I've finally captured you," Lauren snickered. "You'll make an excellent hostage."
"Stop right there," David said uninterestedly.
"I believe you have something that belongs to us," Ernie chimed in.
"She belongs to you? I'm pretty sure slavery stopped being a thing a while ago," Lauren remarked.
"Whatever," David said in annoyance. "Just give her back."
"You'll have to make me," Lauren said as she pulled a toy gun from her pocket.
"Did not see that coming," Ernie said as he put his hands up.
Just then, David charged at Lauren and pried the gun from her hand before she could react.
"Give it up, Lauren. Don't make this any harder than it needs to be," David sighed.
"Well, I know when I've been beat," Lauren said. "Looks like you guys win- PSYCHE!" Lauren pretended to kick David in the groin.
"Ow," David said half-heartedly as he bent over.
"As for you…" Lauren said as she turned around, only to find that Kiki wasn't there. "Hey! Where's my hostage?!"
"Right here," Ernie said from behind David. Kiki was with him, with the tape off of her mouth and her arms untied.
"But how?" Lauren asked.
"Sometimes it pays to be quiet," Ernie smirked.
"Good thing you'll be quiet for a long time," David scowled as he shot Lauren with the toy gun. Lauren played along by falling over.
"And scene!" Lauren announced.
"That was alright," Hatchet said. "But I won't say nothin' else until I see the others perform! Team Flame! You're up next!"
Confessional:
Kiki: Yeah, something was definitely up with David. I'm going to have to talk with him about it later. Not only for his sake, but for mine. After all, if we lose challenges because of what's bothering him, it won't look good on me.
Erica: Watching David's performance before going was actually pretty good for me. I was going to half-ass it, but I don't think Team Chill will be getting first after his performance, so I should give my performance a bit more effort than that. Even if it means (she gags a bit) pretending to care about Rachel.
Chappy: Well, since Bailey can't even do an easy challenge like this, we weren't able to start practicing our lines until partway through Team Chill's performance. Took her that long to finish the stupid script. Any practice is better than no practice, but little practice is way worse than a lot of practice.
Rachel and Erica got onstage.
"I'm cranky and pubescent today, and I don't know why!" Erica announced. "I'm going to take it out on people I like!"
"Hey, Erica, what's the matter?" Rachel asked.
"That's none of your business!" Erica snapped. "Plus, your glasses look dumb!"
"Heeeeeey," Rachel objected. "Oh yeah? Well… your hoodie looks dumb. I bet you're just hiding your flat chest under there."
"I didn't write that last part…" Barry muttered from backstage.
"Well your haircut looks dumb," Erica retorted.
"Well your albino-ness looks dumb," Rachel stated.
Erica looked at Rachel in shocked disbelief.
"I can't believe you'd say something like that!" Erica exclaimed. "You know I can't help it."
"You're right, that was out of line. I'm sorry," Rachel apologized.
"I'm very insecure about it, you know," Erica added.
"How come?" Rachel asked.
"You know how kids are. They'll make fun of anyone for being different," Erica sighed. "It was no different when I was a kid. Even as a teenager, people don't like me."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know," Rachel frowned. "In reality, I'm kind of jealous of how pretty your hair looks in that color. White isn't easy to pull off, but you've done it."
"Thanks," Erica said with a small smile. "Actually, I'm kind of jealous of your glasses. They really bring out your eyes. Sorry I made fun of them. And your haircut."
"That's okay," Rachel smiled as she pulled Erica in for a hug. "Friends?"
Erica smiled. "Friends."
"Scene!" Barry announced.
"That was… something," Hatchet remarked. "Like I said before, I ain't gonna give points until I've seen 'em all, so it's up to Team Thunder now!"
Confessional:
Erica: Ugh. I feel like I need to take a bath for doing that performance. Not only was I friendly with Rachel, I was uncomfortably friendly with Rachel. If I go home and find out people start shipping me and her, I'm going to kick someone's ass.
Bailey: We didn't, um, get a lot of time to rehearse, but, um, I feel like we, um, can do this. I hope so, at least. This script is, um, very important to me…
David: Why can't all friendships be that simple? Life would be so much easier if that was true!
Franklin and Judy got onstage.
"So, how's your day been, Judy?" Franklin asked.
"Oh, it's fine. How about yourself?" Judy asked.
"I'm fine. Say, what do you think of Chappy?" Franklin asked.
"He's alright, if not a bit brash," Judy replied.
"Well, he and I are friends now," Franklin continued.
"Are you now? That's interesting," Judy said.
Franklin and Judy looked offstage and said nothing. Franklin coughed a bit.
"Aw, shoot," Chappy muttered as he went onstage. "Uh, hey guys. Can I talk to Franklin alone?"
"It's not really alone if it's with Franklin," Judy quipped. "But okay." Judy walked offstage.
"Look, I don't really trust Judy," Chappy said to Franklin.
"Why not? She's a nice girl, and really supportive too," Franklin responded.
"The reason why isn't important. What's important is I don't like her, and as your new best friend, I don't think you should hang out with her," Chappy continued.
"Oh, well… that sucks," Franklin said.
"Yeah… so, uh, is it me, or her?" Chappy asked.
"Let me talk to Judy," Franklin said.
Chappy stared blankly at Franklin, before the latter gestured for Chappy to get offstage.
"Oh, right," Chappy whispered as he got offstage. As he left, Judy got back on.
"Hey, Franklin. How was your talk with Chappy?" Judy asked.
"Look, uh, Judy, we can't be friends anymore," Franklin said.
"What? Why not?" Judy asked.
"Chappy doesn't trust you, and I trust him, so we can't be friends," Franklin answered.
"No, that sucks," Judy frowned.
"Sorry," Franklin shrugged as he went offstage.
"Aw, man," Judy said to herself. "I always kinda liked him. In a romantic way. Too bad he trusts someone like Chappy more than he trusts me."
There was a five-second pause.
"That's scene, right?" Judy asked someone offstage. "Uh, scene!"
"Alright then," Hatchet said. "I'm gonna think it over a while before I choose which team's in what place. SO SIT DOWN AND BE PATIENT FOR TWO MINUTES, A'IGHT?!"
Confessional:
Chappy: I think most of our lines were improvised, but whatever. If we lose, it's Bailey's fault for not finishing the stupid script on time.
David: I'm still afraid my performance is going to cost our team, dude! Oh rock gods, I pray to you, let Team Chill get at least second!
Rachel: Look, I love Barry, as a friend of course, but his script was kind of lame. No work of fiction that's as idealistic and positive as what Team Flame performed today can be considered good in my books. Life just doesn't work like that.
"Alright, fools, listen up!" Hatchet barked. "I've figured out today's placements! In first place is…"
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"Team Flame!"
"Nice!" Barry exclaimed as he pulled Rachel and Erica in for a group hug.
"Unlike the other performances, y'all showed that folks can make up after fightin' and things don't always have to be so gloomy. Nice work!"
"Weren't you in a war?" Rachel asked.
"AND WE LOST MANY GOOD MEN IN THAT WAR! IF THINGS JUST WENT PEACEFULLY…! Ahem. Now. In second place…"
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"Team Chill!"
"Whew!" David breathed a huge sigh of relief.
"Your performance wasn't great, but what puts you above Team Thunder is because Team Thunder broke a rule in this challenge."
"W-We did?!" Bailey gasped.
"I said y'all had four hours to get prepared. Y'all continued to prepare after those four hours were up!" Hatchet explained. "Don't look too down. Your performance was awful too! I'll see y'all back here at 2100 hours! Now! Dismissed!"
Confessional:
Judy: This is not good. I have no idea how tonight's vote will go. I hate to say it, but I may have to start playing hardball right now.
Chappy: It just goes to show what happens when you leave Bailey in charge of a challenge. Good thing she's leaving tonight. I can NOT allow her to hold me back any more!
Franklin: Welp, looks like it's about time to make a choice. Time to pick a side, and time to pick a target. I expect to speak with each of the others at least once. This should be interesting.
Chappy met up with Franklin in the backyard.
"So, any idea who you're voting for yet?" Chappy asked.
"I've narrowed it down to three options," Franklin chuckled. "Here to make your case, I presume?"
"That's right. Bailey has to go," Chappy nodded. "We wouldn't have done half as bad in the challenge as we did if she didn't take so long writing the script. Plus we wouldn't have had to break that rule to stand a chance."
"This was just one challenge, though," Franklin pointed out.
"Was it? Name one challenge where Bailey didn't suck ass," Chappy challenged.
"The spaghetti cannon challenge," Franklin answered.
"That's one. Out of, how many? Ten?" Chappy continued. "If she stays in the game, she'll hold the team back."
"I'm pretty sure the merge is going to happen tomorrow," Franklin said. "So why should that matter?"
"Because if it is, she won't be a target ever again," Chappy explained. "She'll worm her way through and make it to the finals, leaving everyone else, probably including you, to be eliminated one by one. Plus, she has that alliance with Judy."
"Okay then…" Franklin said, seemingly deep in thought. "You've definitely swayed me, though in which direction I will not say."
"I know you're not stupid. You'll make the right decision," Chappy said as he left the backyard.
Confessional:
Chappy: I wish Franklin wasn't so vague when he said I swayed him. That probably means he's not voting for Bailey. As long as he doesn't vote for me, it should be fine, and I don't see him voting for me with the girls supposedly aligned against him.
Franklin: Obviously I have to leave some suspense to the viewers. It wouldn't be fun if I outright said who I was considering. Besides, the girls could change my mind.
Judy and Bailey met up in the rec room.
"Okay, Bailey, I want to talk about the vote," Judy said.
"Um, what's there to say?" Bailey asked. "We're, um, voting for Chappy, right?"
"See, that's the thing," Judy said somewhat uncomfortably. "I think we should vote for Franklin."
"Franklin?!" Bailey gasped. "But… but why him?"
"Well, think about it," Judy said. "If we both vote for Chappy, then Franklin will definitely believe we were in an alliance. He'll avoid us even more than before. Probably resent us, even."
"But, um, wouldn't he resent us if we, um, voted for him?" Bailey asked.
"It's possible, but in that case, what could he do about it?" Judy responded. "It's harsh, I know, but that's just the corner we've been backed into."
"I… just… I… I don't know…" Bailey stammered. "This is so stressful."
"Well, you have plenty of time to think about it," Judy said reassuringly. "Don't stress yourself over it too much, okay?"
"Okay…" Bailey whimpered.
Confessional:
Judy: I know I'm probably coming off as controlling, but I only want what's best for everyone on this team. Franklin just doesn't seem to fit into a game like this, and I'm doing this for his own good just as much as the good of me and the others.
Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) I think I'm starting to get an idea of what the dynamics of Team Thunder are. Chappy wants me gone, Judy wants Franklin gone, I want Chappy gone… if Franklin votes for Judy, then we'd have a four-way tie, which means any one of us could go tonight. There are a few things I might be able to do to make things simpler, but I don't know if I can do them.
Judy found Chappy working out in the gym.
"Hey, Chappy, can we talk?" Judy asked
"You're not going to change my mind," Chappy told her. "I'm voting for Bailey."
"You could easily vote for Franklin," Judy said. "Think about it. Franklin's a total wild card right now. He could end up voting for you tonight. Then you'll go home. Is that what you want?"
"I can't go home," Chappy said simply. "Bailey has to go."
"Why? Because she's not good at challenges? Because she's making you lose?" Judy asked. "It's just a game!"
"No! I have to win!" Chappy objected. "Losing is not an option!"
"Why?" Judy challenged.
"Because I've been a loser all my life!" Chappy snapped. "When I was five, I lost my dad in the divorce! When I was twelve, I lost my best friend in a falling out after I lost my girlfriend to him! Two years ago, I lost my home in that house fire! I lost all my stuff in that house fire too! And, most importantly, I lost my mom in that house fire!"
"Oh…" Judy said, wide-eyed.
"Since then, I've moved to my aunt's, but I've lost almost every match of CoD I've played online, my grades are slipping, and I can't get a job no matter how many times I've applied…!" Chappy started to choke up. "This prize money can turn my life around. This prize money can make me a winner."
"Chappy… I'm so sorry," Judy said as tears began to roll down her face.
"I miss my mom so much… she was always there for me." At this point, Chappy made no attempt to hide that he was crying. "Winning can't bring her back, but I know it'll make her proud. And what's Bailey got at stake? She's just a coward who needs someone else to help play the game for her. She doesn't deserve to be here."
Judy embraced Chappy.
"Thanks…" Chappy said.
Confessional:
Chappy: Yeah, so now you guys know. I don't have anything else to say about it.
Judy: Wow… I had no idea Chappy's life was so hard.
Bailey met Franklin up on the balcony.
"Hello," Bailey greeted softly.
"Hey," Franklin replied.
"I just… I just wanted to say…" Bailey stammered.
"What is it?" Franklin asked.
"…I've enjoyed… playing this game with you," Bailey said.
"So you are voting for me, huh?" Franklin asked.
"I-I-I never said-!" Bailey stuttered.
"You didn't have to," Franklin frowned. "I've already cast my vote, so what you say has no impact on my decision."
Bailey sighed. "I miss being your friend," she admitted. "I wish we could have kept being friends."
Franklin gave Bailey a small smile. "You didn't stammer. And you don't have a paper."
"I… suppose I didn't," Bailey realized.
"You can go far in this game, Bailey," Franklin told her as he put a hand on her shoulder. "And I look forward to seeing you in the finale."
"…Thanks," Bailey said with a blush.
Confessional:
Bailey: It's a shame our team is so… small. Then the votes wouldn't have to be so complicated.
Franklin: Bailey's a good kid. I probably should have trusted her. Gah, I'm so stupid.
The four members of Team Thunder sat on one of the couches in the foyer. Hatchet came down the grand staircase carrying an ice box. He set the ice box down next to him as he stood across from the contestants.
"Welcome back, Team Thunder!" Hatchet called. "Seein' as it's your fourth time here, I don't think I hafta explain how this works. Now, sodas go to…"
"Judy!"
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"Franklin."
Franklin's eye went wide as he caught the soda Hatchet tossed him. Then he looked at Bailey and Chappy.
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"…Chappy. You're safe," Hatchet finally said.
"Oh no…" Franklin and Judy said in unison. Chappy just smirked victoriously.
"Wait, if Chappy voted for Bailey, and… what?" Judy asked, flabbergasted.
"I voted for… myself," Bailey admitted.
"Why?" Franklin asked.
"I didn't want you to go, Franklin," Bailey frowned. "Judy was adamant in voting for you, and Chappy was adamant in voting for me. I had no idea how you'd vote, so I figured… if I voted for myself, I can save you."
"You… you're quitting the game for my sake?" Franklin asked.
Bailey blushed. "I… I suppose you can think of it that way." She smiled. "Funny… I'm not sad at all that I'm leaving. Even if an irate Susan is on the other side… I don't think I'm afraid anymore."
Bailey walked for the Door of Shame.
"You promised you'd see me in the finale, Franklin. I hope you keep that promise," Bailey said before shutting the door.
"So, in an unexpected twist, Bailey was blindsided by… herself," Hatchet noticed. "Whatever. Not like she did much anyway. The rest of y'all, to the backyard!"
Confessional:
Chappy: Bailey, you son of a bitch. Haha. This is too perfect. Now I'm one step closer to winning that million dollars.
Franklin: Wow… Bailey voted herself out… for me. …I think I know who has my back and who doesn't.
"And with that, we're down to ten," Hatchet said. "Half the cast has been eliminated already! Folks are sayin' there's a merge comin' up next time. Are they right? Also, will Barry succeed in getting Erica and Rachel to be friends? Will Lauren find a way out of the spot she's in? Who really has Franklin's back? Be patient! You'll find out! Next time, on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Votes:
Chappy: Bailey, you've held me back for eleven straight days, and that's eleven days too many. Your time is up.
Judy: Even after everything Chappy said, I still have to vote for Franklin. I'm sorry, but it's the only way everything can turn out alright.
Franklin: Okay, I lied when I told Bailey I'd already cast my vote. I'd forgotten how sincere she really is… so… I vote for Chappy.
Bailey: Franklin… I know I can't say it to your face, but… I love you. To prove it… I vote for myself. Please… win this for both of us.
A/N: How many of you saw this coming? I honestly didn't expect Bailey to be nearly as popular as she turned out to be. I think maybe one person has ever told me that they didn't love Bailey. Guess we can chalk her down as an Ensemble Darkhorse. Anyway, as much as it pains me to do so, I have to let Bailey go now.