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Kyoko limped slowly down the church aisle, whistling cheerfully all the way. She stopped to steady herself by a pew, her legs wobbling beneath her, but maintained her tune. Her destination was the stoup built into the wall besides the same great doors Sayaka had made her dramatic entrance through the night before. It seemed a lot farther away than usual today, but Kyoko was undeterred. Taking a deep breathe she continued her journey. As she walked her hand tore at the dirty bandage wrapped around her neck. Tossing the red soaked linen carelessly aside Kyoko took the last few stumbling steps to the stoup. Pressing her palms flat against the wall to support her weight she leant over to examine her wounds in the cracked, stone basin.
The blessed water within was quite still, long undisturbed by the touch of the faithful. Kyoko idly wondered if the water remained holy forever or if blessings had a sell-by-date. Either way it served as a useful enough mirror.
The cut on her cheek had already healed. The ugly gash on her neck was painful, but far from dangerous. Her nose was still a mess from where Akemi had struck her and she rubbed it gingerly. Kyoko guessed she'd been really pissed off about what happened to Madoka.
The overall prognosis looked good though. By and large there was nothing serious which would hold her back in a fight. Kyoko's enhanced body had already done the brunt of the regenerative work and she saw no cause to waste any further energy on accelerating the healing process.
The pain she could easily grin and bear with, but she did need to keep the wounds clean. She didn't know if wounds inflicted on a body like hers were capable of becoming infected but Kyoko had no intention of finding out.
Kyoko pulled down the left strap of her black tank top, exposing her shoulder, and bent lower over the stoup. She winced as the cold water from the basin sank into her wound, but carried on, not letting the pain needle her out of her good mood. Her battle with Sayaka had taken far more out of her than the bluenette could have possibly guessed, especially when Kyoko couldn't afford to show even a scintilla of weakness.
Outside Kyoko had portrayed herself as nothing less than an unstoppable force of nature, inside she'd felt like a mirror of Sayaka: Beaten, exhausted and gasping for breathe. Only her own iron self-control had kept her standing. The moment the Kamijo brat was safely locked up after Akemi had spirited Sayaka far from the church, Kyoko had collapsed lifelessly onto one of the few remaining intact pews.
Her body had cashed in the cheque for this earlier strain with interest and the price was a dull, irritable ache that shuddered through her every time she tried to move. Yet Kyoko hadn't minded, swearing happily as she levered herself upright in the morning with the sunrise and at every step across the unyielding stone floor. Rather, she considered it a bargain. The entire night had gone perfectly. Sayaka had danced every step to her tune. Maybe, Kyoko thought, just maybe, she'd actually be able to pull this plan off after all.
Something twisted across the basin, darkening the water's shine. Kyoko leapt back in alarm, half-expecting a witch to pull its way through the wall. She laughed out loud when she realised what she'd actually seen. Over the stoup was a relief of a smiling cherub, but the wear of the years had peeled the left half of the angelic face away, leaving one side a hewn, monstrous visage.
She splashed her hand across the water, as though to brush away the disturbing reflection. The nostalgic touch of cool water skimming against her fingertips brought back memories she'd long thought were carefully locked away.
Kyoko remembered sitting next to her little sister on these same pews long ago, when the old stones had been a church rather than a mausoleum. The siblings would twist around on the hard wooden benches to watch the worshippers march in one by one, each solemnly dipping their fingers into the stoup's blessed water and making the sign of the cross. It had been strange, even a little voyeuristic, seeing them transform as they made the sign and passed the threshold from their sinful reality into that hollowed ground stood between heaven and earth. She could see them now, hurrying down the aisles to find a squeezed space amongst the packed pews, eyes fixed on the empty pulpit, eagerly waiting to be saved by her father's words.
Kyoko's smile faded. It had all been such bullshit.
There had been nothing holy about what she created: a puppet show of fools dancing on the string of Kyuubey's magic - and she'd been the biggest fool of all of them. Kyoko grimaced, she'd been so disgustingly happy; believing she and her father were saving the world together as she fought witches by night and watched her father preach by day.
Instead the puppet strings had drawn tighter and tighter, and one dark evening, they'd strangled everything she'd wanted to protect. She'd learned her lesson though: half-heartedly using miracles and magic to shape the world into how you naively thought it should be was a road to certain hell. It was a zero sum game: You might give a few hope, but all you'd be left with was despair.
Just as Sayaka had.
Kyoko blinked. What was the use of picking at old wounds. The eyes of the cherub seemed to meet her.
"I'm interfering again, aren't I? Well, so what?" Kyoko said to the cherub, bringing her face closer, so her nose was almost brushing against the old stone. "This is different from before. I'm different from before. You had me good and fooled once, you proud bastard, but I don't need your miracles no more. All that counts is my own power."
One side of the cherub smiled beatifically at her words, but all Kyoko could see was the twisted leer underneath. She snarled and lashed out, pulverising the carving into a cloud of smoke. She stood there, panting heavily.
"And I know more about despair than you could possibly begin to understand."
The water in the stoup was rippling madly, the clean water blooming into darkness from the fallout of Kyoko's anger. There was a crimson tint in the basin, that couldn't have possibly come from the grey stone dust.
Kyoko rubbed her knuckles as she walked away to fetch fresh bandages. She'd need to prepare an extra strip now. Kyoko didn't care though. She was long used to the pain.
Sayaka's wondered if she'd ever get used to the pain. It had awoken her that morning with a start and had been a constant, reliable companion ever since. She was surprised to see she wasn't in the church, but surrounded by a white void. She thought she'd died for a moment. Was this heaven? Akemi Homura's face came into view. Hell then.
"You!" Sayaka cried out.
"Me," Akemi agreed.
Sayaka tried to get up, but the effort made her woozy and she quickly stopped. The movement nudged her pierced shoulder causing a spasm of agony. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, but she gritted her teeth hard. Akemi was silently watching her struggle and Sayaka had no intention of showing weakness
At least the ground was soft. She very carefully moved her head and saw she'd been placed on a bright red, crescent shaped sofa. She even had a blanket clumsily draped over her.
"You..." Sayaka tried again. It was elegant in its simplicity, if not its efficiency.
"Me." Akemi nodded in confirmation at the blanket and the sofa.
Sayaka tried a different approach. "Why?"
Akemi replied with a question masquerading as a statement. "Miki Sayaka. You did not wait for me as we agreed."
"No, I didn't. Can't trust you...or Kyoko." Sayaka just about managed the sentence.
No, Sayaka hadn't been able to trust either of them. She hadn't been able to trust Akemi to save Kyosuke, or Kyoko not to kill him.
"That was foolish, Miki Sayaka. Your opinion of me is irrelevant, the fact is you do not have the strength to afford the luxury of independence. You are aware of this, so why did you not wait for my arrival?"
Sayaka didn't care what Akemi said. She knew her reasons were sincere.
They were also rotten to the core.
Deep down she knew the truth of why she'd gone charging in recklessly on her own. She'd wanted to save Kyosuke with her own two hands. Once again, she'd wanted to play the hero. Hadn't she learnt by now how that story was bound to end? She was no knight in shining armour, just a zombie wearing a scavenged face. The old despair welled within her.
She wouldn't have been able to communicate those feelings even if she was the picture of health and having this conversation with Madoka - or just someone who seemed capable of feeling basic human empathy. Gasping for breath and relief from pain; barely able to talk longer than a few syllables, and sat next to a girl she actively disliked if not outright hated, Sayaka had absolutely no intention of explaining a damn thing.
It didn't matter. No matter the time or the place, she'd never have the words to justify herself. And now, because of her selfishness, Kyosuke was still in danger. Or worse.
She almost chocked in her desperation to speak. "Kyosuke...is he - "
She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.
"Kamijo Kyosuke remains Sakura Kyoko's prisoner. She has inflicted no further harm upon him. We could have stopped her if we had worked together," she pressed on insensitively.
"Shut up," muttered Sayaka.
"You have yet to properly answer my question. Why did you not wait?"
"Just shut up," Sayaka croaked, her throat burning at her attempt to shout.
She curled up under the blanket, her hands clasping her head, trying to block out Akemi's voice. Shut up. Shut up. I know. Shut up. I know. I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, please, just shut up. Sayaka's thoughts were a circular train track to nowhere. Akemi's soft question was a ringing indictment of Sayaka's guilt, a roaring tide battering her self-conscious with the same force as the blows Kyoko had rained down on her the night before.
"Compose yourself, Miki Sayaka. I have use of you, foolish and clumsy as you may be," Akemi stated coldly.
Anger briefly flared inside of Sayaka, but it was quickly extinguished by the emptiness coming flooding back. She gave a horse, bitter laugh. It was like a spell, breaking past the pain grabbing at her chest and throat. "Foolish and clumsy, huh? Sounds about right. I suppose I should be grateful somebody needs me, even if its the last person I ever wanted to see again." She forced herself upright on the couch, fighting through the burn in her muscles so she could look Akemi straight in the eye. "So tell me, what use do you have for me?" Sayaka's voice cracked. "What possible use am I to you!?"
"Not a lot at the moment," Akemi said. "You will require instruction."
Sayaka looked at the raven haired girl incredulously. "You want to...train me?"
"Yes." Akemi gave a small, dark smile "We are both magical girls, but I have, ha, considerably more experience. I believe you would grow exponentially under my guidance."
"No," said Sayaka, stubbornly. "There's nothing I want to learn from you."
"You really do hate me, do you not?" Sayaka said nothing and Homura gave a small shrug. "That is fine. If it will sway your mind, you should know I have no intention of trying to correct the deficiencies in your temperament, only your technique."
Another spark of anger flared and died away as quickly as Sayaka's retort, which she swallowed back before so much as a syllable had parted her lips. Instead she said dully, "Is that so?"
Akemi's eyes closed, just a second too long for a blink, and she exhaled sharply. If Sayaka hadn't known better she might have imagined the emotionless girl was showing signs of frustration.
"I have asked you this question before, Miki Sayaka, and I will ask you again: Is your pride worth more than the life of Kamijo Kyosuke? You refuse to work with me to stop Sakura Kyoko, and you refuse to gain the strength to rescue him yourself. What do you intend to do?"
Sayaka looked away, staring into the white void around her. Her head gradually sank into her chest. "Does it matter what I intend? A monster like me doesn't have the right to save anyone."
"Does it matter you are a monster?" Akemi repeated back. Sayaka raised her head and saw Akemi standing over her. The air had gone cold and the white light of the room seemed to have drained away into those baleful dark eyes. Sayaka found herself caught too, unable to look away from their inexorable pull. "If it were to save the person I love, I would become a devil too terrible for the fires of hell to hold."
With that Akemi whirled away towards the door, freeing Sayaka from her gaze. "I have business to attend to. I will return shortly when your body and your faculties are in proper position to give me a sensible answer."
Sayaka was left alone in the white void, with only her own eddying, whirling thoughts for company. She desperately wanted someone to talk to, and sniffled as she thought of her best friends. She'd driven Madoka away and she couldn't even look at Hitomi at the moment, let alone speak to her. Besides how could either of them – and she knew Madoka had tried so hard - possibly understand what she was going through? Mami might have done, perhaps, but Mami was...gone.
Her thoughts strangely turned to another magical girl: Kyoko. Sayaka had never seen eye to eye with the older, jaded girl, but there was a simple honesty about Kyoko, that had made Sayaka trust her words were truthful in a way she could never trust Akemi, even if it was a truth she had abhorred.
Sayaka remembered their conversation in the church, when Kyoko had revealed her past: How her wish had led to tragedy for those she cared for the most Sayaka had always wondered afterwards if Kyoko, who'd been out for her blood only days before, was trying to corrupt her or in her own strange way, trying to be kind. Maybe both, perhaps? Even with Kyoko's betrayal she still didn't know. When they learnt what Kyuubey had inflicted on them it had changed everything.
All three of them really were monsters, Sayaka realised, not just their bodies, but their hearts too. Kyoko only cared about helping herself and didn't have a thought for those she hurt along the way. Akemi didn't seem to care about anything at all. And me, Sayaka thought, a weak hypocrite who cared more about looking like a hero than actually being one.
Perhaps Akemi was right, she needed to embrace what she was. She didn't know what she was fighting for any more. She'd sprouted so many noble words to Madoka and Kyoko before. However, all those fine sentiments had long been washed away like a castle of sand before the rising tide, leaving not a trace of its presence behind. The one thing she was absolutely sure of was Kyosuke had to be saved. If the only way she could save Kyosuke was as a monster, then so be it: She would become a monster more terrifying than any witch.
The spark within her held this time and the light from the fire burnt back the void within her. She felt filled with a determination she'd long thought forgotten.
"Just you wait, Kyoko," she said grimly, "I'm coming for you."
Kyoko sneezed loudly. She rubbed her nose gingerly with the sleeve of her hoodie much to her companion's distaste.
"Sakura Kyoko, your vulgarity never ceases to astonish me," said Akemi coldly.
As Kyoko had not been in a fit state to travel far the two girls had forgone the park for the church. Kyoko was slouched on one pew, while Homura was perched delicately on the upturned remains of another. The detritus of last night's battle were still littered all around them, all the clearer in the unyielding light of day.
Kyoko's still felt irritated and restless, compounded by her inability to move properly. Disturbed by her self-reflection, the dust of memory seeped from every stone and shadow until she'd felt ready to choke. Kyoko wanted nothing more than to get as far away as possible from the church, but she knew it was too big a risk in her current condition. So she'd sat and stewed on her stupidity while she waited for Akemi to arrive. Perhaps she should have delayed the meeting, she knew she wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with that girl right now, but then again, when was she ever? She'd just have to get this meeting over with and Akemi out the door as quickly as possible.
The one comfort had been retrieving a bag of slightly mushy apples under a smashed microwave. Even that small pleasure had been denied to her though. Kyoko had an apple in her hands and had been about to take a bite when the sneeze had shaken her.
All in all, she really didn't feel like putting up with much of anything.
"Yeah, I'm a marvel of the fucking universe," Kyoko grumbled. "S'not my fault anyway, someone must be talking smack about me," she added, a shade defensively.
Akemi's eyebrows were already half raised at Kyoko's non-ironic use of the word smack. "If that superstition were true your nose would never stop running. Then again you are a big enough fool, perhaps your stupidity would grant you immunity from even an eternal cold."
Kyoko was surprised. She was used to quiet disdain from the menacing girl, but never direct insults. So Akemi was still mad about the Madoka thing. Kyoko didn't care, half hoping Akemi would goad her into doing something reckless. At least that way she could let off some of the pressure that had built up inside her since this morning. Kyoko checked herself, she needed to find out how Sayaka was doing at least, her anger could wait until afterwards.
"You're in a cheery mood today," said Kyoko blithely. She took a loud bite from the apple. "How's Sayaka?"
"Alive. Kamijo Kyosuke?"
"Alive," Kyoko replied between crunches. "Chucked him back in the belltower."
The only sound for a while was Kyoko noisily devouring the apple, neither girl much interested in continuing the conversation. After whittling the core down to a bare string of flesh and seeds, Kyoko chucked the apple core over her shoulder and reached into her bag for another.
She gritted her teeth just before her lips touched the fruit.
You need to find out about Sayaka, Kyoko told herself again.
Maybe if she kept things business like she'd get through this without snapping the thread of her frayed temper.
"How is Sayaka, really?"
"I have already told you, she is alive - "
"I meant...mentally, like."
Akemi paused long enough for Kyoko to make significant inroads on her second apple. When Akemi spoke again she had returned to her usual robotic monotone. "She is weak. She took her defeat at your hands hard. The only thing keeping her from despair is the knowledge Kamijo Kyosuke still lives. After she rescues him I do not believe she consider her continued existence to contain any worth." Akemi turned her head away, her eyes not meeting Kyoko's. Kyoko's hands flicked and another apple core joined the pile behind her. "Given the circumstances, I decided to push her."
Kyoko had been reaching for a third apple, but her hands stopped. "Whaddya mean, 'push her'"
Akemi faced Kyoko. "I confronted her. I told her if she truly wants to stop you she needs to throw away her pride and become a monster like us -"
Kyoko grabbed Akemi by the lapels of her school uniform. The force would have knocked the smaller girl backwards from her perch if Kyoko hadn't dragged her towards her until they were face to face.
"What the hell were you thinking, saying something like that?" Kyoko yelled, spraying Akemi with spittle and a small chunk of fruit. "You know how that moron thinks. Are you trying to fuck things up?" Akemi didn't reply, causing Kyoko to voice her darker suspicions. "Still playing doubting Thomas, huh? Or are you just pissed I sucker punched your little girlfriend." This finally drew a reaction as Akemi narrowed her eyes. "Because let me warn you, if we lose Sayaka because of your little stunt, that's the least I'm gonna do to that pink-haired bit -"
Akemi disappeared from her grasp and Kyoko felt cold metal pressed against the side of her head.
"Go on," said Akemi in an eerily calm voice, "Finish your sentence."
Kyoko turned her head to look Akemi straight in the eye, pressing her forehead against the barrel of the pistol. "Bitch." Then she spat at Akemi's feet.
To Kyoko's surprise and disappointment Akemi lowered her gun. "What are your intentions, Sakura Kyoko?"
"What are you blabbering on about?"
"You are deliberately provoking me. To what purpose? Do you still believe I lack a sufficient level of emotional engagement to properly communicate with Miki Sayaka. That was why you struck Madoka is it not? If so I can assure you I possess more than enough anger to demonstrate my sincerity."
Kyoko coloured when she realised Akemi had seen through her that easily.
"Something like that," Kyoko muttered.
"Or are you just hoping to use me to relieve your own dissatisfaction?"
Kyoko's silence was confirmation in itself.
"You are more of a fool than I thought, Sakura Kyoko. The reason I acted was because I have started to believe in this absurd plan of yours. Tell me, can you succeed in this enterprise without my assistance?"
"No, I need your help," Kyoko ground out between clenched teeth.
"Good. Then I suggest you do not allow your own personal feelings to interfere again, otherwise we will have no chance of saving Miki Sayaka. Speaking of which I imagine she will be growing restless. I will take my leave now." Akemi turned on her heel and began to make her way to the door.
Hating herself, but knowing she couldn't end things here, Kyoko walked after Akemi. "Wait, we haven't discussed how you're going to train Sayaka."
Akemi kept walking. "No and we will not be discussing it. You are not in a fit state of mind. I will proceed as I see fit." She stopped at the door. "One more thing, I will forgot your words about Madoka today, but do not be mistaken in thinking I have forgotten the injury you inflicted on her."
Kyoko gestured at her crooked nose. "You already paid me back with interest." She reached out to grab Akemi's shoulder. "That's not the point anyway. I've still got a bunch of things I want to say to you!"
Akemi whirled around. Kyoko heard the crack first, then the pain came and she staggered backwards, clutching her ruined nose. Akemi had struck her a second time across the face.
"Now, we're even," Akemi declared coldly and vanished from sight.
Kyoko sank to her knees. It hurt. It really, truly, goddamn hurt.
Onto chapter 5. Just setting things up and checking up with the other characters before the next confrontation.