A/N: Sorry to keep you waiting. I was busy with some other stuff. But now House Party is back, and I hope you enjoy it.
"Last time on Total Drama House Party…" Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "Yolonda paid herself a visit to the Motel of Rejects, where all the eliminated contestants go this season. We found out that some of our contestants have changed since they left, like Susan and CJ, while others are pretty much the same, like Nolan and Chappy. After interviews with all the losers… excuse me, almost all the losers, Yolonda revealed that four of 'em would be comin' back to the game! I got those four waitin' just outside the Door of Shame. How will our eight non-losers react to finding out who's comin' back? How will the returnees adapt to a game that they haven't been there most of the time to experience? Find out, ya fool! Only on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
The eight contestants met up in the foyer at Hatchet's request.
"I can't believe we're having a challenge so early," Ernie moaned.
"I can," Erica snorted. "When has this show ever been fair?"
"It's been fairly fair so far," Barry shrugged.
"Fairly Fair? That sounds like a band name," Lauren chuckled.
"Nah, it doesn't," David said with a shake of his head. "Maulcano is a band name. Fairly Fair sounds like a chick flick."
"Maulcano sounds like a Pokémon," Rachel chuckled.
"I didn't know you played Pokémon," Judy said.
"Shh. Hatchet's here," Franklin shushed.
Hatchet walked down the stairs in the middle of the foyer and demanded everyone else's attention.
"Alright, maggots, listen up!" Hatchet ordered. "I have a very special surprise for y'all."
"You're splitting the prize eight ways because nobody cared enough about this show to put it on their network, so they're canning it early?" Erica guessed.
"Not even close!" Hatchet shouted. "As some of you may have guessed, we're bringing back some eliminated contestants now that the merge has finally come."
"I like my idea better," Erica mumbled.
"Quiet!" Hatchet barked as he opened the door. "Please welcome back: Bailey, Tucker, Mac, and Spankety!"
The four returning contestants entered the mansion.
"Bailey!" Franklin smiled as his friend returned. "How's it been?"
"It's been just fine," Bailey said as she returned a smile. "And it's even better now that I get another chance to play the game."
"Well it's good to have you back, hon," Judy smiled as she ruffled Bailey's hair playfully.
Confessional:
Franklin: It's nice to have my closest friend back in the game after the way she left. Even if it was only three days, it feels great to know she's back and ready to kick ass.
Judy: I think, of everyone on our team to come back, Bailey's the one I'd prefer the most, so it's lucky for me that she did return. I wonder if Rachel would be cool with her joining our alliance.
Bailey: Maybe I wasted my game before when I voted for myself. Maybe I didn't. All I know is that I'm in it, and a lot more confident now than I was before – confident enough to think I have a real chance at winning.
Rachel, Barry, and Erica approached Mac.
"Well, I guess of all the people from our team to bring back, Mac isn't the worst," Rachel commented.
"Aw, I missed you guys too!" Mac grinned as he put his arms around Rachel, Barry, and Erica.
"The feeling is not mutual," Erica scowled.
"Yeah, you'd better stay away from Erica," Barry warned. "I don't want you threatening anyone again."
"Oh, that?" Mac asked. "That was all some huge lie of Nolan's. The dice told him to do it. It's true!"
"It is true," Rachel nodded. "The only reason I didn't say anything is because I didn't think it was worth stirring the pot. No offense, Mac, but you were of no use to me."
"None taken," Mac shrugged.
Confessional:
Rachel: Mac is a bit of an arbitrary choice to return. Perhaps they chose random names out of a hat. Either way, I know he isn't going to be loyal to me, which is fine, because I have three people who are, and that's a third of the merge right there that I control.
Erica: I'm only making this confessional because they made me. I don't have anything to say. I barely knew any of these people.
Barry: So, Rachel withheld information from me back during the Mac vote? I guess she had good reasons, but it makes you think. What else has she hidden from me?
Mac: Heeheehahaha! It's so cool that I get another chance to play after I was unfairly voted out. I'm gonna give this game a no-holds-barred smackdown until I win it all! Heeheehahaha!
Meanwhile, Ernie, David, and Lauren were surprised to see their former teammates.
"Whoa, Spankety? Is that you?" David asked.
"I go by Sonamjit now…" Sonamjit droned. "Though, yes, I was once referred to by such a name…"
"Well, I like this new look already," Lauren complimented.
"Don't speak to me, you nasty traitor…" Sonamjit said harshly.
"Ah! Well then!" Lauren scoffed.
"Um, hello? Tucker's back too!" Tucker insisted. "Why isn't anyone paying attention to him?"
"Well you, like, didn't do a complete 180 to your personality, dude," Ernie told him. "Glad you're, like, back, though and not, ya know, Kiki or Jilly."
"They're hot, but they won't work with us, huh?" Tucker asked. "At least the guys' alliance is back in order."
"Yeah, about that…" Ernie started.
"Alright, guys, it's breakfast time!" Yolonda announced as she entered the foyer.
"Sweet! Food!" David grinned as he raced to the dining hall, with Mac and Tucker not far behind.
Confessional:
David: Did you guys have to bring back Tucker of all people? He's the worst. I mean, Spanke- er, Sonamjit… I'm never going to get used to that... Sonamjit's probably got it out for me since I voted her off, and that's bad enough, but now I have to worry about Tucker too?! Come on!
Lauren: See, if this is the Sonam that joined the game, I wouldn't have had to vote her off first. Oh well. Now the two of us can be allies, in the game, and hopefully in the bedroom. What? She pulls off black nicely. Heehee.
Ernie: It's like I said before, ya know, Tucker's probably the best possible person on my team to come back. He's loyal to me… probably… and he's, like, a target, which is good for my under-the-radar game. As for what's-her-face, she's not even a factor. She can go after I've, ya know, taken out the strategic threats like Rachel and Franklin.
Sonamjit: I hold no ill will towards David… he did try to warn me that I was about to go… What a fool I was for not listening… Ernie… Tucker… Lauren… they are all dead to me… and I will make sure that none of them survive to see the final nine…
Tucker: Tucker's already got it out for Spankety or whatever her name is. Her real name's hard to remember, so Tucker's just gonna call her Spankety. She probably thinks she can hog all the attention. Well, that's not going to fly in Tucker's book. Tucker's gonna strategy her ass out of here.
Franklin, Judy, Rachel, and Barry all met up in the armory.
"So, now that our player count is 150% of the size it was yesterday, I think we should discuss the obvious," Rachel said. "Should we let any of the returnees in our alliance, and if so, whom?"
"Why not Bailey?" Franklin asked. "I already know she's loyal to me."
"But that's a problem," Rachel pointed out. "If we do let her in, and we make the final five, you guys will have the numbers to take out Barry and me."
"Well, in that case, Mac shouldn't be allowed either, right?" Judy asked.
"I'm not sure Mac would even want to," Barry admitted. "For all we know, he could still be mad at us for voting him off."
"He said he held no grudge towards you," Franklin mentioned.
"Ah, that's true…" Barry remembered.
"How about someone from Team Chill?" Rachel asked.
"Can it not be Tucker?" Barry asked. "I know it's kind of mean, but I don't want someone like him around, especially not around my girlfriend."
Rachel took Barry's hand and held it.
"So, Sonamjit it is, then?" Judy asked.
"I'm good with that," Franklin nodded.
"Same," Rachel said. "Looks like we've reached an agreement."
Confessional:
Rachel: This alliance seems to be working perfectly. By adding Sonamjit, not only do we get more numbers on our side, but, if we do all make the final five, there won't be any bias towards either team.
Franklin: Of course, nothing's stopping me from telling Bailey how the alliance is voting anyway. Just because she's not an official member doesn't mean Team Thunder won't come out on top in the equation, Sonamjit or no Sonamjit.
Judy: I didn't think I'd have a good shot at the merge, since being athletic automatically makes you a threat in this game, but I'm actually feeling pretty good about my chances right now.
Barry: I do feel kinda bad that we couldn't allow Bailey to join the alliance, but Rachel makes a good point: if she did join, where would that leave her or me? I guess it's all for the best.
David, Mac, and Tucker all made it to the dining hall.
"Aw, dude! I missed Yolonda's cooking!" Mac exclaimed with glee.
"So did Tucker," Tucker smirked. "Speaking of which, maybe Tucker can get her special sauce sometime…"
David punched Tucker in the face.
"Whoa! What the hell!" Tucker snapped.
"Heeheehahaha! Nice!" Mac cackled. "Lemme go!"
Mac punched Tucker in the face.
"Heeheehahaha!" Mac cackled again.
"What your deal?!" Tucker shouted.
"Don't talk about Yolonda like that," David grunted.
"I just did it for fun," Mac shrugged with a huge grin on his face.
"Ernie's not going to like this, David," Tucker warned.
"I don't care what Ernie thinks," David chuckled. "I quit his alliance forever ago."
"You what?!" Tucker gasped. "Why would you do that?!"
"Because Ernie's only working with himself in mind," David answered.
"But… what about the numbers?" Tucker asked. "How do you plan on making it without numbers?"
David paused.
"…Shit!" David exclaimed with a faceplam.
"That's right," Tucker said with a somewhat nervous smirk. "Without numbers, you'll be targeted for being a challenge threat. You'll be lucky if Ernie lets you back now!"
"He's got you there, dude," Mac told David.
"Shut up," David groaned.
Confessional:
Mac: I've never seen David so pissed before. Then again, I was voted out pretty early. Either way, Tucker sure knows how to get to someone, doesn't he? I'm definitely going to kick his ass once or twice before the end of the day. Heeheehahaha.
Tucker: David's just a jealous bitch. That's going to make it that much more satisfying when Tucker votes him out.
David: Seriously, of all the people to come back, why him? Not only is an asshole, he's an asshole with a point. I'm going to need a new alliance now that Kiki's gone.
Lauren found Sonamjit sitting alone in the foyer.
"Hey there, gorgeous," Lauren flirted as she batted her eyelashes.
Sonamjit's only response was a dark chuckle.
"What's so funny?" Lauren asked.
"I honestly didn't think people as stupid as you existed…" Sonamjit smirked.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lauren asked, hurt.
"You and I shared an alliance once upon a time…" Sonamjit said. "Then you decided to betray my trust and vote me out… And for what…? Because I still had some childlike innocence left in me…? I assume that's also the reason Jilly and Kiki left as well…"
"I'm just doing what I have to," Lauren shrugged. "Besides, it's not my fault you decided to become a clown."
"And now here you are…" Sonamjit continued. "In some poor, sad attempt to flirt with me… After all, why shouldn't I agree to your perverted desires…? It's not like you destroyed my outlook on life and ruined my summer…"
"Hey, you're the one who decided to go all emo, not me," Lauren rebutted.
"Lauren, you will be the first person to leave the game in the merge, and I will be the cause of your elimination…" Sonamjit said. "Just like how I was the first person to leave the game in the premerge, and you were the cause of my elimination… It's almost… poetic justice… don't you think?"
"Yeah, well unlike you, I actually have the skills to get people to do what I want," Lauren retorted. "You're just sitting here crying even though you're back in the game. I think it's clear who's on top right now."
"The only time you're ever on top…" Sonamjit responded. "…is when you're sleeping around like the slut you are…"
"That's it, you're screwed," Lauren huffed as she walked away.
"I would make the obvious comeback, but I'd rather not use anything you'd use…" Sonamjit snickered.
Confessional:
Lauren: I'm a slut? Little Miss Emo here sure is being an attention whore right now. "Oh, look at me, I'm Sonam, my life is so miserable, everyone feel sorry for me." Only she wouldn't say it like that, she'd take these awkward pauses because I don't even know. Looks like I'm definitely going to have to branch out soon so I can get the votes against her.
Sonamjit: Lauren thinks she's so great, doesn't she…? Well, I have one important thing that she doesn't… tact… I'll have a much easier time getting people to do what I want… because I'm not trying to force my genitals upon them in the process… Checkmate, bitch…
Ernie met up with Tucker in the attic.
"So, like, I have good news and bad news," Ernie told Tucker.
"Is the bad news that David quit the alliance?" Tucker asked.
"Actually, yeah, it is," Ernie said, almost impressed. "The good news, however, is that my plan's working without a hitch."
"What plan?" Tucker asked.
"The reason I kept Lauren for the merge instead of my ally, Kiki-" Ernie started.
"Wait, you and Kiki hooked up?" Tucker interrupted.
"We did not 'hook up'," Ernie said impatiently. "It was, ya know, a short-lived alliance that was meant to earn her trust so I could, like, take her out later."
"Take her out on a date?" Tucker snickered.
"Stop that," Ernie said flatly. "Anyway, the reason Lauren's here is because I needed people to be targets while I, ya know, sneak on by. And with, ya know, Sonamjit going after Lauren, that's definitely going to help us for a while."
"Okay, so why are you telling Tucker all this?" Tucker asked.
"If you're, like, not careful, you could be a target of your own, and then I wouldn't be able to help you," Ernie explained. "The two of us can, like, still be in an alliance, but you've gotta, ya know, tone down the loudness and the pervertedness."
"But either way, we don't have the numbers on our side," Tucker pointed out.
"This is true," Ernie nodded. "Which is why we'll, ya know, just fade into the background and find out who's getting votes, and then we, like, vote for the person who'd best suit us to go home."
"That sounds pretty risky if you ask Tucker," Tucker said.
"It is risky. It's very risky," Ernie confirmed. "But it's our only real option right now, so unless you, like, want to get voted out, I suggest you take heed to my words."
"Alright, Tucker's gotcha," Tucker sighed. "But this won't be easy."
Confessional:
Ernie: Tucker's surprisingly obedient. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but, ya know. Maybe he learned from last time when, ya know, going against the plan got him, like, voted out. Either way, if I turned him down for staying in the alliance, he'd probably just, ya know, call me out in front of everyone and make me a target, so it's not like I can, ya know, fly solo like I wanted to. Such is the way of this game.
Tucker: Tucker's going to have to stay quiet? That's not going to be easy with assholes like David and Mac still around. But Tucker isn't stupid – he knows he's got to not get votes if he wants to win, so Tucker'll bite the bullet. For now.
Franklin, Judy, and Bailey met up on the balcony.
"So, Bailey, what's it like to be back in the game?" Judy asked.
"It's not that weird, to be perfectly honest," Bailey admitted. "I wasn't gone for very long, so I'm more used to it here than I was at the motel."
"They had you stay in a motel?" Franklin asked. "I trust they treated you well?"
"Yes, they treated me just fine," Bailey nodded.
"Good to hear," Judy smiled. "So, what have you been up to now that you're back?"
"Well, I couldn't find you guys before, so I went looking around a bit," Bailey answered. "Where were you, by the way?"
"Well, we didn't know you'd be coming back, so before the merge happened, we formed an alliance with Barry and Rachel," Franklin answered. "We were discussing which returnees to add to the alliance."
"Oh. So am I part of this alliance now?" Bailey asked hopefully.
"Yeah, that's the thing…" Judy said awkwardly.
"They wouldn't allow you in, since they didn't want an obvious Team Thunder bias that could bite them in the butt at the end," Franklin continued. "Of course, they weren't allowed to add Mac to the alliance either. So we settled on Sonamjit."
"Oh…" Bailey said, almost disappointed.
"But we still want to work with you," Judy said comfortingly. "You just can't be an official member of the cross-team alliance."
"Consider this trio our main alliance," Franklin said. "Barry, Rachel, and Sonam will be my and Judy's side alliance. You can always make a side alliance of your own if you want. I've noticed you're a lot more self-confident than you were before you left."
"I suppose…" Bailey said as she thought to herself.
"I know you can do it," Franklin said with a friendly smile.
Confessional:
Judy: I hope Bailey doesn't feel bad that Franklin and I made new friends without her. I mean, it's all just a game, right? We were doing what we had to do to win. Besides, we didn't know she'd be coming back, not that we aren't happy she is back.
Bailey: I do feel a bit bad that the others made an alliance without me, but I don't see how they would have been able to know I'd be returning, so I can't be too mad at them. Franklin suggested I make a side alliance of my own, which is definitely a good idea. The only question is: with whom?
Franklin: I'm glad Bailey's back for two reasons. First and foremost is that she's a very loyal ally and friend to me. Secondly, the point where she does form a side alliance of her own is the point where Team Thunder takes control of the game. The core three would be in control of over half the votes, and, when it comes down to it, my side alliance can take out Bailey's, thus leaving Team Thunder in the majority, and eventually, the final three. This really couldn't have gone better for me.
Barry entered the game room, only to find Erica already there, playing Tetris.
"Oh. Hey Erica," Barry greeted.
"What do you want?" Erica sighed.
"Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing," Barry told her. "Have you talked to Mac yet?"
"Why would I talk to Mac?" Erica scoffed. "He's annoying."
"Well, he was a teammate of ours, and it's been a while since we've seen him," Barry said. "And since he apparently didn't threaten you, maybe you missed him. I don't know."
"You really don't know me that well, do you?" Erica remarked.
"Well, no," Barry said. "Every time I tried to, you got angry at me and told me to go away."
"And yet you still come back to talk to me," Erica said.
"I'm just concerned about you," Barry said. "Especially now that it's an individual game. Being aloof isn't going to help you, Erica, in the game, or in life."
"It's gotten me this far, hasn't it?" Erica said defensively. "Why do you care?"
Barry sighed. "You want to know?"
"I asked, didn't I?" Erica spat.
"In all my years, Erica, I've never met anyone like you before," Barry explained. "You always see a negative side to everything. You treat everything as if it's hopeless. You're never, ever in a good mood. Is there a word for when you find something frightening and fascinating at the same time? Because you're that for me. I want to know the reason why you're so pessimistic."
"Have I not made it abundantly clear?!" Erica snapped. "Everyone hates me because I'm a freak! Why the hell shouldn't I be so pessimistic?!"
"Erica, nobody in this game said a single bad thing about you until you showed them how negative you were," Barry said.
"You don't know that," Erica insisted.
"Well, no, I guess I can't speak for everyone in the game, but it would seriously surprise me if anyone thought you were a bad or inferior person because of your albinism," Barry said.
"Here's a follow-up question: why the hell are you so positive all the time?" Erica asked. "Oh, wait, you're not a freak of nature, are you?"
"Erica, please…" Barry sighed.
"You don't know what it's like to be disabled. So piss off!" Erica shouted.
Barry sighed once again as he left the room. As he shut the door behind him, tears started to stream down Erica's face.
Confessional:
Barry: I… I think I'm actually starting to give up on Erica. I mean really give up on her. Our conversations go nowhere, and she doesn't seem like the type to take any point of view other than her own. I'll definitely keep praying for her, but I think her growth is beyond my control at this point.
Erica: Screw Barry. I honestly hope his religion turns out to be fake so he can burn in the pits of hell. That's how little he means to me anymore. N-Not that he ever meant anything to me in the first place! I mean, he's with Rachel now. Why should I care?
Rachel found Sonamjit sitting on the same couch.
"Sonamjit," Rachel greeted. "I'd like a word."
"I'd like… revenge…" Sonamjit whispered.
"I know," Rachel said. "And I'm giving you the opportunity to exact this revenge."
"Do tell…" Sonamjit said, her interest now piqued.
"I have an alliance of four with Barry, Franklin, and Judy," Rachel explained. "We're looking for a fifth member so we can get more influence on the vote. If you join our alliance, we'll make sure Lauren is our first target."
"Interesting…" Sonamjit said. "I suppose I would be on the bottom of this alliance's… totem pole… wouldn't I…?"
"Not necessarily," Rachel said. "When it does come down to just us five, we agreed that it'd be Team Flame vs. Team Thunder, and you'd be the deciding vote. In all honesty, you might have the most powerful position in the alliance."
"Interesting…" Sonamjit said to herself. "You've got yourself a deal…"
"Excellent," Rachel smiled. "Nice to have you onboard. Lauren's going down."
"As well she should be…" Sonamjit scowled. "She's lasted thirteen days too long in this game… and I intend to cut her time off…"
"Sounds good to me," Rachel said. "There will be an alliance meeting after the challenge. We usually meet in the armory. I'll see you then."
"See you…" Sonamjit nodded as Rachel walked away.
Confessional:
Rachel: And now that's five votes locked in our favor. With obvious targets like Lauren and Tucker in the game, it won't be long until those five start to become the majority, at which point, it'll be smooth sailing for us.
Sonamjit: First, Lauren… then Tucker… finally Ernie… I'd say that's fair… Lauren... cheated me out of the game… Tucker… stayed when he didn't deserve to… Ernie… spearheaded the entire thing… none of them deserve to win… and I've made it my mission to assure that they won't…
As David continued to eat breakfast, Yolonda entered the room.
"Hey, sugar," Yolonda greeted as she sat next to him.
"Hey…" David said distantly.
"What's bothering you?" Yolonda asked.
"Of all the people to come back, why Tucker?" David asked.
"Sorry. It was a random draw," Yolonda told him. "I didn't want him back either, but I wasn't about to lose my job by rigging the draw or anything."
"Ugh… it really shouldn't bother me this much, but… AGH! You know how he is!" David whined. "He's such a drain on my life!"
"Why don't you listen to some music right now?" Yolonda asked. "That usually helps you, doesn't it?"
"I can't find my iPod anywhere," David sighed. "I bet Tucker probably stole it."
"Look, David honey, you can't let Tucker decide whether or not you're having a good time in this game," Yolonda told him.
"It's not just that," David told her. "I'm completely on the outs right now. Getting rid of Kiki sounded like a good idea at the time, but now I realize how stupid that was. I'm all out of allies."
"Well, you know I can't tell you anything to help you with your game," Yolonda said. "But if you want some general life advice, it's usually best to make the first move if you want someone to be on your side."
"I guess…" David sighed. "Do you know how much longer until the challenge starts?"
"Shouldn't be too long," Yolonda told him.
"Crap…" David muttered. "I guess all I can do is either win invincibility or hope no one votes for me."
"Good luck, sugar," Yolonda told him as she patted him on the shoulder.
Confessional:
Yolonda: I hope things work out for David. Even if I can't help, I can still cheer him on from the sidelines, right?
David: Honestly, I'm kinda hoping for a Playground challenge today. Maybe I'll be able to take some of my anger out on Tucker.
Lauren entered the rec room and sat down on a bean-bag chair, frustrated.
"Ughhhhh!" she exclaimed. "This sucks!"
"What is it?" someone asked. Lauren turned her head to find Mac already in the room, throwing darts at a dartboard.
"I came into the merge expecting people to want to vote with me," she explained. "But I can't find anyone."
"Aw, I'm sure someone wants to vote with you," Mac grinned.
"No, like, I literally can't find anyone. You're the first person I've seen in this house in the past hour," Lauren explained.
"Really? You'd think it'd be easier to find people, with four of us coming back and all," Mac said as he tossed another dart.
"Maybe it's because we're not on teams anymore," Lauren sighed. "When we were on teams, it was easier to keep track of everyone. Somehow."
"I wouldn't know. I was the first one gone from my team," Mac shrugged. "To be honest, nobody really wanted to talk to me. I kind of had to force a conversation with them sometimes."
"Really? Me too," Lauren said. "I mean, I guess it got me this far, so I must be doing something right."
"Well what do you know? We're kind of similar, aren't we?" Mac chuckled.
"Hm…" Lauren thought to herself. "You know what, what if we formed an alliance?"
"An alliance?" Mac asked. "Sure, why not?"
"Really?" Lauren asked. "Wow. I didn't even have to offer anything."
"Eh, I'm not that kind of guy anyway," Mac said.
"Really? You never struck me as gay," Lauren said. "My gaydar must be off."
"What? No, I'm not gay!" Mac cried as he punched Lauren in the arm. "I meant I'm not into weird sexual favors by girls I barely know. No matter how attractive they are."
"But you're still cool with an alliance?" Lauren asked.
"Yeah. Just don't call me gay again," Mac said.
"Got it," Lauren said as she rubbed the spot where Mac punched her.
Confessional:
Lauren: Well, Mac's a start. I think I'll try to get Bailey on my side next. I've been trying to get the returnees to join my side, if you couldn't already tell, Sonam's a bust, and Tucker's not even worth acknowledging, so that just leaves Bailey. Three votes out of twelve isn't great, but it's something, and if things go my way, it could make all the difference.
Mac: I mean, yeah, I could use some allies too. Most people don't want to be around the guy who loves pain, so I'll take what I can get.
Bailey found Erica, still in the game room.
"Um, excuse me, Erica?" Bailey asked.
Erica exhaled angrily out of her nose as she paused her game.
"Who are you and what do you want?" Erica asked Bailey.
"My name is Bailey. I was on Team Thunder throughout most of the pre-merge," Bailey explained.
"That's great. Why should I care?" Erica asked.
"Well, I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but your two former teammates have formed an alliance with my two former teammates," Bailey started.
"Wait, what?" Erica asked.
"Yes. Franklin and Judy are aligned with Barry and Rachel," Bailey continued. "Apparently I was not allowed into the alliance because your teammates worried about what would happen in the final five if the five of us were to all make it that far."
"Tch. It's just like Barry and Rachel to go forming alliances with other people before they do with me," Erica sneered.
"That's why I'm here," Bailey said. "I would like to offer an alliance with you. The two of us are alone in the game right now, and I think it would be almost… poetic if the two outcasts of Teams Flame and Thunder were to band together."
"Well, I've never been one for poetry," Erica said. "But I've always been one for messing up whatever Rachel wants to do. If we can take out Rachel, then I'm in."
"Splendid," Bailey smiled as she shook Erica's hand. "It's a pleasure to work with you."
"Yeah, whatever," Erica scoffed. "You don't have to pretend to like me. But you watch my back, and I'll watch yours."
"Agreed," Bailey nodded.
Confessional:
Bailey: Well, I took Franklin's advice and formed a side alliance. I'm not sure how long my partnership with Erica will last, but it's good to have as many allies as you can get in this game, and I haven't seen Erica talk with others very much, so she seemed like a good choice. Truth be told, I wouldn't mind taking Rachel out. She seems like a social threat if nothing else.
Erica: I said I wouldn't align with my teammates in the merge. I never said I wouldn't align with other people. Bailey's pretty quiet, so I can mark her as "tolerable". Besides, she's willing to vote out Rachel, which is more than fine by me.
The twelve contestants all met up in the foyer at Hatchet's request.
"Alright, kids, it's about time for your first merge challenge," Hatchet said. "BUT! Before we do that, I have one more thing to introduce to y'all!"
As Hatchet spoke, a man in his thirties walked down the stairs. He had medium-length black hair and wore a blue shirt and khaki pants.
"Wait. Is that Chris?" Barry asked.
"HECK NAW!" Hatchet cackled. "This is a leftover Chris-Bot from Pahkitew Island. He'll be wanderin' around the house, listenin' in on your conversations and tellin' information to others."
"Um, that's terrible," Ernie said. "What's the point of that? The audience is going to, ya know, hate it."
"Nobody asked you!" Hatchet snapped. "It's gonna make y'all re-think your strategies. The audience will eat it up!"
"Yeah, and what if I decide I want to destroy it?" Erica asked.
"Trust me, you do not wanna be caught destroyin' this," Hatchet warned. "It could cost you the game."
"Yeah, that's real threatening," Lauren chuckled.
"Shut up, Lauren," Hatchet said as calmly as he could. "Now! Today we have a Playground of Pain challenge, so off to the bus with y'all!"
Confessional:
Tucker: Tucker's going to have a hard time keeping quiet with that thing going around the house. But Tucker can't really break it, because Tucker doesn't want to get ejected. Tucker doesn't see how this is fair.
Sonamjit: Heh… What a pointless twist… I have… nothing to hide… so this Chris-Bot… will not affect me… in the slightest…
Rachel: Well, the Chris-Bot could be an issue in theory, but I figure that as long as we don't say anything we don't want going around when the Chris-Bot's near, nothing much will have changed.
Judy: Yeah, that robot's pretty sketchy. I'm not sure I like the idea of a robot stalking everyone. I'm not a fan of robots in general, really. They kind of freak me out.
The twelve contestants all rode in a bus to the Playground of Pain. Ernie sat next to David, and began speaking with him.
"So, David," Ernie started. "How's the merge, like, treating you?"
"That's none of your business," David said bluntly.
"Dude, are you still mad at me blindsiding Kiki?" Ernie asked.
"Of course I am," David huffed. "I'm mad that you tricked me into voting out my closest ally."
"Look, you're, like, the one who believed me," Ernie said. "But that's, ya know, beside the point."
"What's the point then?" David asked.
"The point is, I'm asking if you'd like to re-join my alliance with Tucker," Ernie explained.
"No," David said firmly.
"We won't be, like, making any big plays or anything," Ernie said. "Just vote with the majority."
"I said no," David repeated.
"I don't see what, like, the big deal is here," Ernie said.
"The big deal is Tucker," David said. "I won't be aligned with him ever again."
"Eh. Suit yourself," Ernie shrugged.
Soon enough, the bus arrived at the Playground. The only things set up this time were four giant slingshots on each corner, each with a large sack next to them.
"Okay…?" Barry said, clearly confused at the setup.
"Welcome to your first merge challenge," Hatchet said as he stepped off the bus. "As y'all can see, this one's gonna be a bit different."
"How so?" Bailey asked.
"Well, to start things off, the four of y'all who just came back from bein' eliminated will automatically be immune tonight," Hatchet started.
"Whoa, sweet!" Mac exclaimed.
"What?! How is that fair?" Erica snapped.
"Because the other eight of y'all have had more time in the game than they have!" Hatchet explained. "And we ain't about to let someone back only for 'em to get voted out in the very same episode!"
"Not even if it's Tucker?" Lauren remarked.
"Your insistence that Tucker leave you alone only makes Tucker more attracted to you," Tucker said condescendingly as he shook his head.
"ANYWAY!" Hatchet interrupted. "The four returnees will man the slingshots, and will launch paint balloons at the rest of y'all."
"Paint… balloons?" David asked.
"They're like water balloons, but filled with paint," Hatchet explained.
"Yeah, that's going to go great with my white hoodie," Erica grumbled.
"If ya don't like it, then DON'T GET HIT!" Hatchet barked.
"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind," Erica snarked.
"So, basically, the last person to not be hit wins invincibility?" Judy asked.
"That's right, Judy," Hatchet confirmed. "See, it ain't so hard to understand, is it? I didn't think so! Now let's get to it!"
Confessional:
Franklin: For a Playground of Pain challenge, this one sounds refreshingly harmless. That doesn't mean I won't try just as hard to avoid the balloons, though. The only way to ensure your safety is to win invincibility, no matter how many allies you might think you have.
Sonamjit: Excellent… Now… I can ensure… that Lauren… goes down…
Rachel: I was afraid that my broken arm would be a hindrance to me in this challenge, since it's at the Playground of Pain, but this one seems doable for me. Just don't get hit. No problem.
Sonamjit, Mac, Tucker, and Bailey each took control of one of the giant slingshots. The other contestants were scattered around the remainder of the playground.
Hatchet held an airhorn aloft and pressed the button. The loud wailing of the horn signified that the challenge had begun.
The instant the challenge started, Sonamjit loaded her slingshot and pulled back as far as she could. Her intended target, Lauren, had placed herself as far away from Sonamjit as Hatchet would allow, so Sonamjit stretched the slingshot nearly to its breaking point.
"You're finished…" Sonamjit smirked.
Unfortunately for Sonamjit, her meek body was too light for the slingshot, and she ended up launching herself across the playground instead. She crashed right in front of Barry.
"Oh my gosh. Are you okay?" Barry asked.
Before Sonamjit could answer, Barry felt some paint splatter upon his back.
"Score one for Tucker," Tucker snickered.
"We're not keeping score…" Bailey informed him softly.
"Barry's out of the challenge!" Hatchet announced. "Sonamjit, get back to your post!"
Confessional:
Barry: Hey, I can think of worse ways to lose a challenge than "trying to help someone out".
As Barry moved over to a set of bleachers by the playground, Ernie stretched his arms before releasing a huge exhale.
"Yeah, whatever," Ernie sighed. "Can someone, like, take me out already? I didn't get much sleep last night."
"Don't you usually take lots of naps anyway?" Barry asked.
"So?" Ernie asked before being plastered in the chest with a paint balloon. "Thanks."
"No problem! Heeheehahaha!" Mac cackled.
Meanwhile, at another part of the playground, David tripped on a small mound of bark.
"Aw, seriously?" David groaned as he also got pelted by a paint balloon.
"Sorry," Bailey apologized. "It's all part of the challenge. Nothing personal."
Confessional:
Bailey: I'm not one for sports of any kind, so having to take charge in this challenge felt a little weird. At least I didn't have any risk of being hit.
Just then, Bailey was hit by a paint balloon.
"Oops! Sorry! Heeheehahaha!" Mac, who was across the playground from Bailey, called.
Confessional:
Bailey: (she is soaked with paint) …Or so I thought.
Mac: What? I wasn't trying to hit her. …But it was kinda funny when I did.
Ernie and David had joined Barry on the bleachers, and Ernie feel asleep almost instantly as he sat down.
"How does he do that?" Barry asked David.
"No idea," David admitted. "If you want to know, ask him."
"Fair enough," Barry shrugged. "Though I should probably wait until he wakes up first."
"Hope you like waiting," David remarked. "He's a heavy sleeper."
"Well, at least we can watch the challenge," Barry said optimistically.
"I guess," David agreed.
Sonamjit had returned to her slingshot and began to take aim at Lauren once again.
"Come on… I've got you… this time…" Sonamjit muttered as she prepared to fire.
As she let go of the slingshot, though, Lauren ran out of the way of the balloon, which ended up hitting Rachel instead.
"Gross," Rachel remarked. "I seriously hope this doesn't damage my cast."
"Rachel's out!" Hatchet announced.
"Oh for crying out loud…" Sonamjit grumbled under her breath.
Rachel sat next to Barry.
"Hey," Barry said to her.
"Hey," Rachel greeted back. "Does it bother you that Franklin and Judy are better at challenges than us?"
"Not really," Barry said. "Why? Should I be bothered?"
"Well, think about it," Rachel said. "If our alliance does make final five," she said with a now-hushed voice. "They'll smoke us in immunity challenges, and that could be bad for us."
"Rachel, no offense, but you think too much about the game," Barry said. "You should relax a little. Watch the game."
"So, would this be our first date?" Rachel asked.
"I'd prefer if our first date were a bit more traditional," Barry said. "Some random Total Drama challenge doesn't seem like a good first date idea."
"Good point," Rachel grinned. "In that case, I'm putting it on you to think of an amazing first date for when we get out of here. Money's no object. Especially since one of us will win the prize money."
"Wow. No pressure, huh?" Barry chuckled.
Confessional:
Rachel: Barry's a sweet guy, and you know what, maybe he is right about me talking game too much, but let's be honest, I'm the one who's carrying us both to the end. He's not really playing strategically, and it's a lot harder than it looks. I've made it this far, and I don't want it to be all for naught.
Barry: How about a fancy cruise? Is that too much? She said money would be no object, right? How about one of those expensive restaurants that are impossible to get a reservation for? Would we have to wait too long for that one? I'll admit, I'm not used to being so spendy on first dates, and I want it to be perfect.
Tucker scanned over the last four people in the challenge: Erica, Franklin, Judy, and Lauren.
"Well, Franklin's the only non-chick left, so the choice seems obvious," Tucker said to himself as he took aim.
Franklin noticed that Tucker was aiming for him.
"Oh, crap," Franklin cursed to himself as he looked for somewhere to run. He found Erica walking around in circles and ran up to her.
"What do you want?" Erica asked.
Franklin grabbed Erica and held her in front of him, causing her to get hit by Tucker's balloon.
"Hey! What the hell?!" Erica snapped.
"Sorry. Force of habit," Franklin said.
Just then, Franklin was hit on the back of the head with another balloon.
"Score two for Tucker!" Tucker announced.
"Yeah, I probably deserved that," Franklin admitted.
"You think?" Erica murmured.
Confessional:
Erica: What the hell kind of habit involves using someone as a meat shield?
Sonamjit leered at Lauren, who, along with Judy, was one of the last two people left in the challenge.
"You're… dead…" Sonamjit growled as she took aim at Lauren. She let go of her slingshot, and…
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…hit Lauren.
"Judy wins invincibility!" Hatchet announced.
"Oh, hey, cool," Judy smiled.
"As the winner, you get to sleep in a first place room. You also get to pick three others to join you," Hatchet continued.
"Oh, really?" Judy asked. "In that case… Franklin, Bailey, and… Sonamjit, I guess."
"Now! Y'all get to pick who's gonna sleep in the basement, and who's gonna sleep outside!" Hatchet added.
"Oh, really?" Judy asked, not as enthusiastic this time. "Let's see… outside… I'll go with Tucker, Lauren, Ernie, and Erica."
"Tch. Figures," Erica griped.
"That means that Mac, Barry, Rachel, and David will be sleepin' in the basement," Hatchet confirmed. "Now, back to the bus!"
Confessional:
Judy: Honestly, I wasn't even trying that hard. Is that bragging? Me saying that – is that bragging? Anyway, I'm not sure what I think about having to pick who sleeps where. That sounds almost like segregation, and I'm not okay with that.
David: Well, crap, I need invincibility more than ever, and I screwed up the challenge pretty bad. I'd better not go home before Tucker because of that.
Ernie: Wait, who won? Honestly, it, like, makes no difference to me. Just vote with the majority. Unless, ya know, the majority's voting for me or Tucker, in which case, change the majority's mind.
Rachel, Barry, Franklin, Judy, and Sonamjit met in the armory.
"So, Sonamjit agreed to join our alliance," Rachel told the others. "On the contingency that we vote for Lauren tonight."
"Lauren?" Franklin asked. "Why Lauren? She seems relatively harmless."
"'Seems'… is the key word…" Sonamjit said. "She's a backstabber and a manipulator. Why do you think that innocent clown girl went home first?"
"Uh, weren't you that innocent clown girl?" Barry asked.
"Once upon a time…" Sonamjit said. "Anyway… Lauren is a threat… Getting rid of her now would be smart…"
"Hey, you're the boss," Judy said. "If you want us to vote for Lauren, then Lauren it is."
"For the record, you're not actually the head of the alliance," Rachel said. "We all have equal say here."
"Sure," Franklin chuckled.
"We do," Rachel frowned.
"Come on guys," Barry said. "Be nice."
"Thank you," Rachel said to Barry.
Confessional:
Franklin: Well, Lauren wouldn't be my first choice of a vote, but it's way too early to be stirring the pot. I think I'll safely vote with my alliance. But next time, I'll hold Rachel to her word and make sure we really do all have equal say.
Rachel: …I'm not a control freak, am I?
Lauren and Mac met up at the rec room once again.
"So, who are we voting for?" Mac asked.
"I'm thinking David, to be honest," Lauren said. "He's probably the physically strongest person in the game right now. If he hadn't tripped up in the challenge today, he easily could have won."
"Aw, really? David's cool," Mac said.
"Well, I don't think he'd like working with me, so unless you'd rather align with someone who's about to go home, he's probably our best option," Lauren said. "I'm going to try to convince the others to vote for him. You should do the same."
"Okay. I'll try," Mac said. "But like I said, people don't tend to want me around very much."
"Same with me, but that doesn't stop me," Lauren reminded him.
"Eh, good point," Mac chuckled.
"I'll take Ernie, Tucker, and Team Thunder," Lauren suggested. "You take Sonam and Team Flame."
"Gotcha," Mac nodded. "Onwards to victory! Heeheehahaha!"
Confessional:
Lauren: Well, Mac seems loyal enough. Hopefully he'll live up to his word and actually convince the others. Granted, he's not as good-looking as I am, so that might be hard, but I have no reason not to trust him yet.
Bailey found Erica in the game room.
"Good afternoon," Bailey greeted.
"Oh, yeah, I guess we have to pick someone to vote out, huh?" Erica asked as she paused her game. "How about Rachel?"
"Um, well, she's certainly a possibility," Bailey said. "Why Rachel?"
"She's super strategic and stuff," Erica said as she made a face. "She's not even trying to hide it anymore. Like you said, she's already got an alliance with your former teammates. She's going to mastermind the entire game if we don't do something about it."
"I see," Bailey said. "Well, we certainly don't want that, do we?"
"Plus she's super fake," Erica snarled. "Who knows? Maybe if we don't vote her off soon, I'll lose control and break her other arm."
"You… You say that like it doesn't bother you," Bailey said. "That concerns me."
"Trust me, you weren't on her team," Erica insisted. "She's loathsome."
"Well, if you insist," Bailey said. "I'll go talk to some of the others about the idea."
"Yeah, you do that," Erica said as she returned to her game.
Confessional:
Bailey: Well, one of my allies wanting to vote out one of Franklin's allies certainly isn't something I'd anticipated. I'll have to think it over, maybe ask for a second opinion.
Erica: Heh. Nice to see things are going my way for once.
Ernie and Tucker met up in the attic once again.
"So, any word on who's going?" Tucker asked.
"Nothing so far," Ernie said. "I think I'll, like, go eavesdrop later and find out what's, ya know, going on."
"No need," Lauren said as she entered the attic. "We're voting for David."
"Fine by Tucker," Tucker sneered. "That'll show him for voting Tucker out and quitting the alliance."
"He is quite the challenge threat," Ernie pondered.
"Well, he's the only name I've heard so far, so if you want to be safe, vote David," Lauren said.
"I'll, like, keep that in mind," Ernie said.
"Great. Thanks," Lauren smiled as she left the attic.
"So, are we really voting for David?" Tucker asked.
"Of course not," Ernie said. "There's, ya know, always a slim chance he could join us again. I'll, like, go see who else is on the chopping block. Maybe the Chris-Bot could, like, actually come in handy."
"Have fun," Tucker said. "Tucker's going to go on another raid."
"Gross," Ernie sighed.
Confessional:
Tucker: Since all the rooms at the Motel of Rejects were locked, Tucker hasn't been able to steal any girl's panties for a week! Tucker thinks it's time to change that. Heheheheh.
As Yolonda exited the kitchen, she found the Chris-Bot standing there motionlessly.
"Ugh, creepy," Yolonda said to herself. "I'm going to have to ask my uncle why he thought this was a good idea."
She began to clean the table of the lunch plates left behind. When she looked up, she noticed that the Chris-Bot was no longer there.
"What the…?" she asked.
She turned around to find the Chris-Bot directly behind her.
"Eek!" she shouted. "Okay, this thing is seriously messed up!"
Confessional:
Chris-Bot: I wasn't able to find any of the contestants, but I thought it'd be fun to mess with Yolonda a bit. I do always know where to find her. Heheheh.
The twelve contestants sat on a couple of the couches in the foyer. Hatchet came down the grand staircase carrying an ice box. He set the ice box down next to him as he stood across from the contestants.
"Well, aren't we one big happy family?" Hatchet snickered. "Anyway, I got eleven sodas with me right now. As I'm sure y'all know by now, no soda means no more time in this game. And there ain't no more returnin' anymore."
"Judy."
"Bailey."
"Mac."
"Tucker."
"Sonamjit."
"Barry."
"Franklin."
"Ernie."
"Erica."
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"Rachel."
This left David and Lauren in the bottom two.
"Son of a…" David muttered.
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"…David!"
"What?!" Lauren squealed.
"I told you… I'd have my revenge…" Sonamjit grinned.
"Oh you stupid little child!" Lauren snapped.
"Hey, nothing you can do about it now," Sonamjit chuckled.
"Yeah, I could go enjoy myself at the losers resort or whatever while you have to stay here and try to validate your existence now that your one goal has been accomplished," Lauren retorted as she went for the Door of Shame. "Later."
"And with that, we're down to eleven… again," Hatchet said to the contestants. "Y'all remember where Judy said y'all can sleep. Head to bed. You're gonna need it tomorrow."
Confessional:
Sonamjit: It just goes to show… what a little karma can do… (she snickers)
"And there ya have it. Lauren goes and takes 12th place," Hatchet said to the camera. "What effect will Sonamjit have on the Thunder/Flame alliance? What will Mac do now that his alliancemate has been voted out? Can Tucker keep quiet enough to not get targeted? And what's the deal with the Chris-Bot? The answer's gonna come, dammit, so sit tight, for Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Votes:
Lauren: I vote for David. Sorry, I offered you a chance to work with me, but you've been avoiding me all day, and if you're not with me, you're against me.
Sonamjit: I vote… for Lauren… The filthy bitch… needs to go…
David: So I hear votes are going Lauren's way. Better her than me. Much better, actually. I vote for Lauren.
Rachel: Sorry, Lauren, but Sonamjit wants you gone. Oh, and for the record, I was a way better flirt than you ever were.
Mac: It sucks, but I gotta vote for David. Gotta look out for number one, and David's not number one.
Judy: I honestly don't mind voting for Lauren. She doesn't really have the best concept of boundaries, I must admit.
Ernie: I, like, vote for David. Since the votes are split between, ya know, Lauren and David, and Lauren's, like, a distraction, I gotta keep her in the game.
Franklin: We need Sonamjit on our side. The contingency for her joining us is that we vote out Lauren. I never knew Lauren, and I can use the numbers, so tonight's vote really isn't that difficult for me.
Bailey: Apparently, my main alliance is voting for Lauren so they can help their side alliance. I'll do anything in my power to assist them, so my vote goes to Lauren. My apologies go to Erica, if she sees this.
Barry: My vote goes to Lauren. Perhaps this can be a lesson that lying to your alliance – or in general – isn't a good idea.
Tucker: Sorry David. You should have stuck with Tucker and Ernie. Maybe then Tucker wouldn't have to vote you out.
Erica: I vote for Rachel. And good freakin' riddance!
A/N: And Lauren finally bites the dust. Lauren's another one of those characters who went through quite a few changes (she was originally going to be a lot more OTT), but the main changes were her placement. In some drafts I had her as an early boot, in others I had her going far, and I think in one she was even going to win. For a while she was going to last a bit longer into the merge, but I figured that 1) her plot was more or less complete by now, and 2) like Sonamjit said, it'd be some decent karma for her to be the first merge boot at the hands of the person she voted off first. She may not have been a super-popular character, but she was an effective premerge villain, but since the premerge is over, this is where she leaves.