A/N: I'm gonna try to update more these days, I think. School will be coming back for me pretty soon, and depending on how much work I'm given, this could be the last episode for another couple weeks.
"Last time on Total Drama House Party…" Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "Four of our eliminated contestants came back into the game! Also, we merged! Bailey was disappointed to find out she didn't have a spot on Frankin's and Judy's alliance with Barry and Rachel, so she formed one of her own with Erica. Tucker made his way back into Ernie's alliance, though that kid was pretty shocked to find David had left the alliance. Mac ended up in an alliance with Lauren, but, thanks to Sonamjit's new connections, Lauren was sent packin'. Who's gonna go home tonight, and what are they gonna hafta go through before that happens? Find out, ya fool! Only on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Tucker, Ernie, and Erica all went outside after the elimination, as Judy had selected them to sleep there for the night.
"Well, that sucked," Ernie muttered to Tucker.
"How come?" Tucker asked. "Tucker thought we wanted David around in case he decided to join back up with us."
"We do, but we wanted Lauren around more so she could, like, take the target off of us," Ernie explained. "Now that she's, ya know, gone, she can't really do that anymore."
"Ah, good point," Tucker nodded.
"What are you two up to?" Erica asked as she appeared behind the two boys.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Tucker snickered.
"Nothing dangerous," Ernie assured her. "Just, ya know, talking about the elimination."
"Yeah, what the hell was that about?!" Erica asked. "Rachel was supposed to be going home."
"Rachel?" Ernie asked, bemused. "Where did you get that idea?"
"Bailey told me she'd get people to vote her out," Erica said.
"Hm. Well, she is a strategic threat. Rachel, that is," Ernie thought aloud. "Maybe that wouldn't be, ya know, such a bad idea."
"So, what, is Rachel our next target?" Tucker asked. "Because Tucker hasn't claimed her panties yet."
"Tell you what, Erica," Ernie said. "If you can, like, convince me that you have enough votes to get Rachel out, then Tucker and I will vote for her."
"Well I thought I had the votes tonight," Erica grunted. "Why do I need a contingency anyway?!"
"Tucker and I are, like, voting with the majority," Ernie said. "We won't vote for her if it's not what the majority wants."
"Well, then I'll make sure the majority wants her gone!" Erica insisted.
"Well, have fun with that," Ernie said half-heartedly.
Confessional:
Ernie: I have no long-term plans with Erica. I'll gladly vote her out if it'll keep me or Tucker safe. But it's best to know where everyone stands if I want to go by unnoticed. If I cast a vote for someone who's, like, not a target, people are going to notice. That said, I wouldn't mind Rachel leaving. She's, ya know, pretty smart, and could be a threat.
Tucker: Tucker wonders what Erica looks like naked. Maybe she's got a great body and just never shows it off. How selfish of her.
Erica: I'm honestly surprised no one's tried to take Rachel out yet. Is she really blowing that many people that it's kept her safe for this long? Disgusting.
Mac, Barry, Rachel, and David all went down into the basement.
"Well, at least there's enough beds for us," Barry smiled. "Nobody has to share a bed or anything."
"Aw, but what if I wanted to share a bed with you?" Rachel purred.
"I thought you weren't doing that anymore," Barry chuckled.
"I'm not," Rachel said with a cheeky grin.
"So you guys hooked up while I was gone?" Mac asked.
"What can I say?" Rachel asked. "I just kept begging and begging until he eventually gave in."
"Does that work?" Mac asked, intrigued.
"What? No. I was joking," Rachel answered.
"Why? Is that one girl still on your mind, dude?" David asked.
"One girl?" Barry asked.
"He mentioned having a crush on someone here when the game started," David explained. "He wouldn't tell me who though."
"It's a seeeeecreeeet," Mac said in a singsongy voice.
"If you keep it a secret, then you won't have a chance with her," Barry said. "Is she in the game right now?"
"She's been voted out," Mac said. "But that's all I'm going to say. Heehee."
"Well, maybe she likes you too," Rachel shrugged. "Stranger things have happened. You should confess to her in the finale. That'd be romantic."
"You think?" Mac asked. "Yeah, I'll give that a shot."
Confessional:
Rachel: Huh. I wonder who Mac of all people would be interested in? CJ injured me, and Mac seems to be into that kind of stuff… maybe it's her.
Barry: Is it bad that I feel like I messed up by not waiting for the finale to ask Rachel out? Am I overthinking this?
Mac: I hope I don't get turned down. That'd suck. I guess if I do, I could always hurt myself a bit to cheer myself up. Heeheehahaha!
Judy, Franklin, Bailey, and Sonamjit all made their way to the first-place rooms.
"It still feels weird that I had to choose people to sleep outside," Judy mused. "I'd try to not win challenges again if it didn't mean I wouldn't be safe from votes."
"You should be safe anyway," Franklin said. "There are bigger threats in the game."
"Maybe, but me winning that first challenge isn't doing me any favors," Judy thought aloud.
"You have nothing… to worry about…" Sonamjit told her. "Next to go… will be Tucker… and then… Ernie…"
"You seem awful confident about that," Franklin remarked.
"Why shouldn't I be…?" Sonamjit asked. "Do you know of anyone… who wouldn't want to vote those two off?"
"Well I doubt they'd vote each other out," Judy joked.
"Maybe we should focus more on actual threats," Bailey suggested. "Those two are in the minority and don't really have the charisma to sway people."
"Look at you, playing hard," Judy complimented.
"Nobody asked you… you lowly outsider…" Sonamjit said harshly to Bailey.
"Oh. Sorry," Bailey frowned.
"Hey. Sonam. Don't be rude to Bailey," Franklin said sternly.
"You're not the boss of me…" Sonamjit snarled.
"I am if you want to stay in this alliance," Franklin said. "I could always tell Rachel and Barry that you planned on backstabbing them tonight."
"So you're blackmailing me…?!" Sonamjit asked.
"Yeah, Franklin, stop it," Judy said. "You don't need to blackmail her."
Franklin sighed. "If you insist."
Confessional:
Franklin: I take my friends very seriously. Just because Sonamjit is in my side alliance doesn't mean I'll put up with her being rude to Bailey. She may not know I'm more loyal to Bailey than I am to her, but she'll learn soon if she doesn't stop.
Bailey: I believe it is safe to assume that Sonamjit does not know that Franklin, Judy, and I are all aligned. However, I fail to see how she thinks that excuses rude behavior towards me. I didn't even vote her out.
Sonamjit: Bailey thinks she's so smart… Heh… What she doesn't know is that I'll be masterminding this game… crushing the dreams of everyone… like how my dream was crushed…
Ernie and Tucker approached the Chris-Bot.
"So, why are we talking to Chris-Bot again?" Tucker asked.
"Yes, Ernie. Why are you talking to me again?" Chris-Bot asked.
"I was just, ya know, wondering something," Ernie said. "Are you capable of lying?"
"I'm Chris. What do you think?" Chris-Bot responded.
"I think that, like, you're a robot, and it would take extra programming to make you able to lie," Ernie explained. "And considering Chris-Bots were originally created to promote the show, I'm wondering if, like, you were programmed to make things up to increase viewership."
"I only say what I'm told to say," Chris-Bot said. "Of course, if someone were to tell me lie, I'd perceive it as truth and make sure to tell everybody."
"So, as long as nobody else knows that little loophole, we can, like, make a bigger impact on the game than I'd previously thought," Ernie said to Tucker.
"Nice!" Tucker exclaimed. "Say, Chris-Bot. Be sure to tell everyone that Tucker is hung like a horse."
Ernie facepalmed.
"What?" Tucker asked. "The ladies deserve to know."
"How about this?" Ernie said to the Chris-Bot. "Rachel is the one everyone is targeting right now."
"Got it," Chris-Bot nodded. "And to think, you thought I was a stupid twist."
"Well, I take it back," Ernie said with a grin.
Confessional:
Ernie: I think the others will try to avoid the Chris-Bot so it doesn't, like, catch them saying anything incriminating. That's fine by me. It'll find them sooner or later, and when it does, it'll spread whatever message I tell it to. Or, ya know, whatever message Tucker gives it, heaven forbid.
Tucker: Heh. The only thing that could make that robot better is if it were a Blaineley-Bot. And had all the appropriate woman parts. Heheheh.
Barry and Rachel at breakfast together in the dining room.
"So, Barry, I've been wondering something," Rachel said.
"What is it?" Barry asked.
"Are you… actually allowed to date outside of your religion?" Rachel asked. "Because I'm agnostic. That won't be a problem, will it?"
"Well…" Barry trailed off. "I'm not allowed to marry a non-Christian, but I think we're a bit too young to be thinking about marriage anyway."
"Good point," Rachel agreed. "We've only known each other for a couple weeks."
"Can I ask my own question?" Barry asked.
"Of course," Rachel said.
"Is this, you know, a summer fling? Or are we going to continue to date after the game is over?" Barry asked.
Rachel paused.
"That's alright…" Barry said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "I understand."
"I mean, I do really like you, but you live in another province, and the long-distance thing might be difficult," Rachel said.
"Well don't let me hold you down," Barry chuckled. "You probably have guys busting down your door back home."
"I have a few, but they're usually the kinds of guys who spend their free time making spreadsheets and playing D&D… and making spreadsheets for D&D," Rachel said.
"Not really your type?" Barry asked.
"Nope," Rachel said. "I much prefer the tall, dark, and handsome type."
"Hey, that's racist," Barry joked.
"Whatever," Rachel said as she playfully rolled her eyes.
Confessional:
Barry: I'm fine if Rachel doesn't want to keep dating after the game. That doesn't mean we can't still chat over Facebook or something. (his face suddenly turns embarrassed) I just realized I don't know her last name! That… could make things difficult.
Rachel: Barry's really sweet, and I would like to keep dating him, but the long-distance thing might not work out. Let's just say "He lives in Alberta" would probably be considered a "weak excuse" by everyone back home. Guh… I hate being called "weak".
Franklin and Judy met up on the balcony.
"So, what do you think of Sonamjit?" Franklin asked.
"I think she's trying to find her way in the world," Judy said as politely as she could.
"That's the nice way to put it," Franklin chuckled. "If we really do all have equal say in the alliance like Rachel says, I'm considering proposing that Sonamjit leave the alliance."
"Really? But we just agreed on her yesterday," Judy said.
"That was before she started being needlessly rude to my perfectly innocent friend," Franklin stated.
"Ohhhhhh, I know what it is," Judy teased.
"What is it?" Franklin asked, his tone shaking for the briefest of seconds.
"You like Bailey," Judy beamed. "You have a crush on her and you want to protect her."
"I do not," Franklin sighed.
"You totally doooo~!" Judy said in a singsongy voice.
"Please stop," Franklin said flatly.
"Okay, sorry," Judy said, trying to keep from smiling.
"I hold friendship and justice in the highest regard," Franklin said. "If Sonamjit wants to be rude to my friend, then I'll make it known that that behavior is not going to be tolerated."
"I see…" Judy said. "But is it really best to put justice into your own hands?"
"If I don't punish her, then who will?" Franklin asked. "It's not like I'm going to injure her or anything."
"I guess," Judy decided. "Just don't get carried away."
"Trust me. I should know better by now," Franklin told her as he walked off.
"Oh come on! More cryptic parting words?" Judy whined.
Confessional:
Judy: I still feel like I don't really know a lot about Franklin. I wonder if Bailey could explain any of it to me.
Franklin: (he sighs) I just realized that if I explain why I want her out of the alliance, the others might catch on to my alliance with Bailey. Looks like I'm going to have to find an alternate method.
Erica met up with Bailey in the game room.
"So, last night's vote was a failure," Erica pointed out.
Bailey seemed confused at first, until she realized that Erica voted for Rachel.
"Oh my goodness!" Bailey exclaimed. "I'm so sorry!"
"What did you do?" Erica sighed.
"I forgot we were voting for Rachel," Bailey half-fibbed. "I voted for Lauren."
"Whatever. We just have to make sure she goes tonight," Erica said. "Ernie and Tucker said they'd be onboard if we got some more votes. Maybe we can rope in David or Mac."
"Why them?" Bailey asked.
"Well, Sonamjit, Barry, Franklin, and Judy are in an alliance with her, so they won't vote for her, and she's obviously not going to vote for herself, so that just leaves David and Mac," Erica explained. "David's a judgmental ass and Mac's obnoxious, so it'd be preferable if you talked to them instead of me."
"Oh. Um. Okay," Bailey said as she scratched the back of her neck.
"Hey, they'll be much more likely to vote our way if the nicer and less disgusting one of us asks them," Erica said. "I'm just being practical."
"I suppose you are," Bailey decided. "Okay. To make up for my forgetting yesterday, I'll be sure to have a word with both David and Mac."
"Excellent," Erica said with a sinister grin. "Rachel will be gone by tonight."
Confessional:
Erica: I've never really been in an alliance before, mostly because that involves being around people for extended periods of time, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of this one. Just get people to vote with us. I've already done my part. Now it's up to Bailey.
Bailey: Erica did make a surprising amount of sense back there, though I do wish she'd have conveyed her plans in a less negative fashion. That said, I will try to make an effort to speak with Mac and David today. If I can get Rachel eliminated, it will secure Erica's loyalty to me, which could be helpful for my longterm game.
David and Mac relaxed in the rec room.
"I'm bored," David griped.
"Wanna spar?" Mac asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Nah, not today," David sighed.
"Hello… gentlemen…" a voice near the door said. The two boys turned their head to find that it was Sonamjit.
"Oh, uh, hey," David greeted.
"I have… a proposition for you two…" Sonamjit said.
"Sounds kinky," Mac chuckled.
"I would like… an alliance with the two of you…" Sonamjit offered.
"Well, what a coincidence," Mac said. "My ally just got voted out last night. I could use a new one."
"Wait, don't you hate me?" David asked Sonamjit. "You know, for voting you out?"
"You're… a special case…" Sonamjit said. "You… tried to warn me…"
"I did?" David asked, thinking hard. "I guess I vaguely remember that."
"Don't worry about it… it was only the last thing I remember before getting voted out…" Sonamjit said. "Besides… my first target… is Tucker…"
"Come on, dude. You gotta do it!" Mac pressured David.
"I'm gonna, I'm gonna," David insisted. "You've got yourself a deal."
"Splendid…" Sonamjit said with a small smile. "I look forward to working with you…"
"Likewise," Mac grinned.
Confessional:
Sonamjit: Sure… I'm still a part of Franklin's alliance… but I saw an opportunity… and I took it… Those two were clearly… on the outs… and I couldn't allow them to be voted out… for something like that… So I took them under my wing…
David: Well, it sure beats hanging around with Ernie and Tucker all day. And hey, I have allies now, so that's cool.
Mac: Sweet! This new alliance kicks ass! I'm officially calling this the Ass-Kicking Trio! Because that's what we are! Heeheehahaha!
Yolonda found Hatchet in the foyer.
"Uncle. Can we talk?" Yolonda asked.
"I was just about to call the contestants for our next challenge," Hatchet told her. "Can it wait?"
"I don't know if it can," Yolonda said.
Hatchet sighed. "What is it?"
"Last night, that Chris-Bot was creeping on me while I was cleaning the tables," Yolonda explained. "What's with that thing?"
"I found it in my room when I first arrived at this mansion," Hatchet told her. "Did a bit of reprogrammin' so it could retain and give information, but there was a buncha code I didn't understand. All I know 'bout that kinda stuff is what a quick Google search told me."
"So, wait, you found that thing in your room?" Yolonda asked? "What the hell kind of stuff is in there?"
"That ain't none of your business," Hatchet said sternly as he picked up the microphone for the intercom. "Attention, maggots! It's time for another challenge! If I don't see y'all in the next ten minutes, then none of y'all are winnin' invincibility!"
"That didn't really answer my question…" Yolonda murmured.
"Some things are better left unsolved," Hatchet insisted.
Confessional:
Yolonda: Okay, that was too sketchy. I'm going to have to see if I can find out what's in that room of his.
Hatchet: I hope she realizes that I see these confessionals too.
Before long, all eleven contestants were in the foyer. Yolonda had returned to the kitchen by then.
"Alright, today's challenge is what you might call a classic," Hatchet said with a grin.
"I thought we already did the Awake-a-Thon," Judy said, confused.
"We did," Erica said flatly.
"Naw. Today's challenge… is the fear challenge," Hatchet continued.
Confessional:
Ernie: Oh boy…
Bailey: This won't be pleasant.
Erica: Well this is going to be fun, isn't it? Ugh…
Barry: I'm actually not worried. I don't see how they could use my fear against me.
"Now, we know all your deepest, darkest fears," Hatchet told the contestants. "And then we double-checked with the people y'all trust most to make sure you weren't lyin'."
"We could have lied?" David asked. "Why didn't I think of that?"
"Because if you had, we woulda proven you wrong anyway!" Hatchet snapped. "Now, here's how it's gonna work. Each of y'all is gonna get a short challenge involvin' your greatest fear. If ya complete the challenge, then you'll be eligible for a raffle for Invincibility. So even if you complete your mini-challenge, you ain't guaranteed to win the entire thing!"
"So it's a risk and reward scenario," Franklin mused.
"Right. Now, we're gonna try and go alphabetically by last names, but if two of y'all's fears are similar enough, we might bump you up the queue," Hatchet continued as he looked at a cue card. "For example… Bailey Donnelly, you're up first. And since Tucker Salami has a similar fear, he'll be joinin' you."
"It's Salamy," Tucker insisted. "You put the emphasis on the first syllable!"
"Whatever," Hatchet said as he rolled his eyes.
Confessional:
Bailey: I'm unsure of how common my fear is, but I take solace in knowing someone else here has a similar fear… even if it is Tucker.
Tucker: Hey, Tucker may be studly and awesome, but everyone's got one weakness. Except Rashida Jones. She's perfect as far as Tucker is concerned. Heheheh.
Bailey and Tucker were both in the infirmary, joined by Hatchet as well as two paramedics.
"Now, Bailey here has trypanophobia, or the fear of injections," Hatchet explained. "Tucker has nosocomephobia, or the fear of hospitals."
"Not even the nurses can help Tucker out there…" Tucker shuddered.
"Both of y'all's challenge is the same: let one of our paramedics give you a harmless blood transplant. We got the right blood types and everythin'," Hatchet told the anxious contestants. "All the while, y'all'll be surrounded by the sterile atmosphere and alcoholic smells of a hospital."
"Best of luck," Bailey said to Tucker.
"Are you hitting on Tucker?" Tucker asked with a nervous chuckle. "Because Tucker isn't a chubby chaser."
Confessional:
Bailey: I was trying to be nice, but he only made me feel more self-conscious than I already was.
Tucker: (awkwardly) They say that ill-timed jokes are a legitimate way of dealing with negative emotions. Heheh.
Each paramedic had a blood-filled syringe ready.
"Oh boy," Tucker said nervously. "Here we go…"
Bailey shut her eyes tight and took deep breaths.
The paramedics each took one of the contestants' arms and readied their needles.
"Heh. Tucker isn't nervous. Not at all…" Tucker chuckled unconvincingly.
Bailey began hyperventilating.
The needles touched Bailey's and Tucker's arm.
"I can't do it!" Bailey suddenly shouted. "Please let me go…"
The paramedic, noticing Bailey on the verge of tears, let her go.
"Tucker can handle it. Bring it o- AUGH!" Tucker squealed as the needle pierced his vein. "This feels so weird…"
"I know…" Bailey squeaked.
"And… done," the paramedic injecting Tucker said.
"Really?" Tucker asked. "That was surprisingly easy."
"And Tucker is eligible for invincibility!" Hatchet announced. "While Bailey is not."
Confessional:
Bailey: Not to sound bitter, but being injected wasn't his fear. I feel like he had an easier time than I did.
Tucker: (licking a lollipop) That was pretty awful, but at least Tucker got a free sucker. Heheh. That rhymed.
Hatchet had taken Barry to the rec room.
"Here we are with Barry Flynn, who's next on the queue," Hatchet told the camera.
"Hi," Barry waved.
"Alright, so I ain't sure if Barry's fear has an actual fancy name," Hatchet admitted.
"I like to think it's called 'common sense'," Barry said.
"Barry's biggest fear is hell," Hatchet explained. "So his challenge is to watch Drag Me to Hell. We'll be monitorin' him the entire time, so if he leaves the room or turns the TV off, we'll know he failed the challenge."
Barry took a deep breath. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and staff comfort me…"
"I ain't here to comfort you," Hatchet said. "I'll be checkin' back on you when the movie's over."
"I was reciting Psalm 23, actually," Barry said. "Let's get this overwith."
Hatchet took the remote for the TV and began to play the movie.
Confessional:
Barry: Does this make me seem like more of a stereotype? Maybe. But think about it. The life you've lived up to this point is nothing compared to eternity. And to spend eternity suffering… (he shudders)
Hatchet had sat Ernie down at one of the tables in the dining room.
"Alright, we couldn't find a name for Ernie Henderson's fear either," Hatchet told the camera.
"You're not seriously going to make me do that… are you?" Ernie asked nervously.
"Ernie's fear is cannibalism," Hatchet continued as Yolonda entered the room with a covered platter and a sick look on her face.
"I better get a raise for this," Yolonda muttered as she set the platter in front of Ernie.
"Ernie's challenge…" Hatchet started as he took the top off the platter, revealing what looked like a human arm. "Is to eat this arm. It's been fully cooked and everything."
"WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THAT?!" Ernie panicked.
"Donation from the local morgue," Hatchet explained. "Don't worry. She wasn't dead for very long."
"I'm, like, legitimately unsure if that makes it better or worse," Ernie said. "Screw this noise. I'm not doing it."
"Come on. Don't waste a perfectly good arm," Hatchet chuckled. "Ya don't hafta eat it right now, but as soon as ya leave the dinin' room, you've lost the challenge."
Ernie sighed as he briefly contemplated his position. He then got out of his chair and left the room.
Confessional:
Ernie: Invincibility is not worth doing… that! I'm pretty sure I'm, ya know, not a target anyway.
Mac and David were both led to the attic.
"So, uh, what are we doing here?" Mac asked with a nervous chuckle.
"Well, Mac Hurst, since you're up next, it's your turn for a fear challenge," Hatchet said. "And since David Kendall has a similar fear, y'all get to go together."
"Eh, I'm not surprised," David shrugged. "My fear's kinda common."
"David has melissophobia, or the fear of bees," Hatchet explained. "Mac has arachnophobia, and if I hafta explain what that is, I'm gonna hit ya."
"Yay… bugs…" Mac said, his grin becoming less convincing over time.
"I'm gonna release a buncha spiders and bees into the attic," Hatchet said. "All ya hafta do is spend ten minutes up in here. If ya leave the attic before then, ya lose the challenge. Ya got that?!"
"Let's just get this overwith," David whimpered.
Hatchet left the attic and fished a remote control from his pocket. He pressed a button, causing two boxes in the attic to open up, releasing several spiders and bees.
The screams of both boys could be heard from below the attic, causing Hatchet to chuckle.
After ten minutes had passed, Hatchet returned to the attic door to find Mac on the other side.
"Couldn't do it," Mac sighed.
Hatchet opened the door to see David on the other side, surrounded by spiders.
"Hey, Hatchet!" David waved.
"Well, congrats to you. You're eligible for invincibility," Hatchet told the David.
"Nice!" David cheered.
Mac just gave a shaky thumbs-up to his friend.
Confessional:
David: It was actually pretty freaky… until the spiders ate all the bees. Guess Hatchet didn't really think that one through. Oddly enough, I've never had a problem with spiders, so this challenge was a piece of cake.
Mac: (he is trembling)
Judy had been seated at one of the couches in the foyer.
"Now, Judy Jones…" Hatchet started. "You have a form of technophobia. In short, you're afraid of robots."
"I can't really deny that," Judy chuckled. "There's a reason I haven't been anywhere near that Chris-Bot… I think… I hope."
"Well, that's about to change," Hatchet snickered as Chris-Bot entered the room, causing Judy's face to drop.
"Hello… Judy," Chris-Bot said with a sinister grin.
"Please don't shank me," Judy squeaked.
"If you can spend twenty minutes with this thing, then you win," Hatchet told her.
"Oh geez," Judy said. "I'm not telling you any of my secrets!"
"Oh, there's no need to worry about that," Chris-Bot smirked. "I already know all your secrets."
"Really?!" Judy gasped. "So you know about that time when I wet myself in the middle of class in second grade?"
"I do now," Chris-Bot chuckled.
Hatchet left, snickering as Judy facepalmed at her realization of what she'd done.
Confessional:
Judy: Well, so far he hasn't shown me anything lethal… but that's just what he wants me to think! …I'm not crazy, I swear.
Chris-Bot: As it turns out, Judy's very easy to crack. Just glare at her for a while and she'll start to break. Heheh.
Judy: (she's blushing) For the record, I drank a lot of juice that day, and this one kid wouldn't stop making me laugh…
Hatchet had brought Sonamjit outside, inside one of the hedge mazes.
"Now, even though Erica Pascal is next, we're gonna wait until Barry's done before we start hers. Trust us on this one," Hatchet told the camera. "So we're gonna skip ahead to Sonamjit Singh."
"Do your worst…" Sonamjit droned.
"Oh, I will," Hatchet said as he took a matchbook out of his pocket, causing Sonamjit's eyes to go wide.
"You wouldn't…" Sonamjit said.
"Due to your pyrophobia, your challenge is to escape from the hedge maze… while it's on fire," Hatchet sniggered.
"That's life-threatening…!" Sonamjit objected.
"Of course, you can use this," Hatchet said as he handed her a fire extinguisher. "But if ya do, then you lose the challenge."
"You can't be serious…!" Sonamjit said harshly. "I'm not doing this…"
"Eh, suit yourself," Hatchet shrugged. "But if ya end up on the choppin' block, don't come cryin' to me."
Confessional:
Sonamjit: I don't remember Hatchet… being this much of an asshole before… but maybe that's just because I was so… foolish… before…
Hatchet returned to the foyer, where Judy continued to nervously stare down the Chris-Bot.
"Tell me your secrets," Chris-Bot said with a grin.
"Never!" Judy insisted. "And no amount of buzz saws or laser beams can make me!"
Chris-Bot raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, yeah, they would, but you don't have those, do you?!" Judy continued.
"Your time's up, Judy," Hatchet told her. "You passed."
"Oh, really?" Judy asked, relieved. "Whew."
Hatchet checked his watch. "Barry's time is about up. I'm gonna go do Franklin's challenge and then check on Barry."
Hatchet took Franklin to the backyard.
"So. What would you say my greatest fear is?" Franklin asked Hatchet.
"It's the darndest thing," Hatchet said. "Everyone I asked said you were fearless."
"Well, that is my reputation back home," Franklin grinned.
"Of course, your multiple confessionals about your algophobia don't lie," Hatchet said.
"Yeah, I'll admit, I don't do well with pain," Franklin said. "Which is why an intimidation factor works wonders. Guess the scar and eyepatch are worth something after all."
"Mhm," Hatchet said as he left for the backyard shed.
"Of course, I got the scar and lost my eye the same way I got the aversion to pain: one broken beer bottle to the face," Franklin said. "Of course, now my old man is far away where he can never reach me."
"That's great," Hatchet said as he returned, carrying a baseball pitching machine.
Franklin scowled at the sight of the machine as he got an idea of what his challenge would be.
"Franklin St. Cloud, your challenge is to let yourself be hit by forty baseballs minus one," Hatchet said.
"You're disgusting, you know that?" Franklin spat.
"Whatever," Hatchet said. "You'll have one second in between each hit to back out of the challenge."
Franklin snorted. "Bring it on. I've been through worse."
Hatchet gave a sick grin. "I was hopin' you'd say that."
Confessional:
Franklin: Let's just say that, even though my parents are gone from my life, violence is still a part of my everyday life.
"Number twenty-four!" Hatchet called as he launched a baseball. "Number twenty-five!"
"UGH! I can't take it!" Franklin shouted.
Hatchet stopped the pitching machine.
"Urggggg…" Franklin groaned in pain.
"Heh. Looks like your friends won't think you're so fearless anymore," Hatchet commented.
"They'll know better than to say anything," Franklin snarled.
"Well, I'm gonna go check on Barry," Hatchet said. "Have fun not havin' invincibility."
Franklin leered at Hatchet.
Hatchet returned to the rec room, only to find Barry facedown on the floor, speaking in tongues.
"Hm, let's see, he didn't leave the room, but it doesn't look like he kept watchin' the movie either," Hatchet said. He then noticed Yolonda walking by. "What do you think?"
"I think I'm still pissed at you for making me cook a person's arm and not even using it," Yolonda told him angrily as she kept walking.
"That was Ernie's fault, not mine!" Hatchet insisted. "Eh, I'll give it to him. Last thing I need is some religious discrimination lawsuit."
Hatchet tapped Barry on the shoulder.
"Hey! Barry! You passed the challenge!"
"Wha? Wha?!" Barry asked as he snapped out of his trance. "What happened?"
"We're about to do Erica's fear," Hatchet told him. "We're gonna need you for it."
"Um, okay…?" Barry asked as he rubbed his head.
Confessional:
Barry: I had to watch a movie? That's weird. I wonder why I don't remember that.
Hatchet: Looks like he's blocked it from his mind. Man, y'all don't know how temptin' it is to not give him that shot at winnin'.
Hatchet found Erica playing in the game room.
"Erica. It's your time to shine," Hatchet told her.
"Oh, yeah, shine, I get it. Because I'm afraid of the sun," Erica said in deadpan. "Has anyone ever told you how freaking funny you are?"
"That ain't your deepest fear," Hatchet told her.
"…Come again?" Erica asked, pausing her game.
"That may be what you put on the application, but I asked your mom just to be sure," Hatchet said.
"Oh… did you now?" Erica asked.
"Yup. Said you couldn't get on the show if she didn't answer truthfully," Hatchet continued. "She told me that you had a heart-to-heart talk with her about your gamophobia."
"…Shit," Erica said. "Let's just get this out of the way so I can back to my freaking game."
"Alright. Come on in, Barry!" Hatchet called, prompting Barry to enter the room.
"What's this about?" Barry asked.
"Well, Erica has gamophobia," Hatchet explained. "Do ya know what that is?"
"Uh, not really, no," Barry answered.
"Erica is afraid of gettin' married," Hatchet told him. "So I'm gonna hold a little ceremony for y'all."
"I have a girlfriend," Barry told him.
"Just do the challenge, or I'll take away your chance at invincibility," Hatchet warned.
"Fair enough," Barry sighed. "I guess you chose me because Erica can't stand me, right?"
Confessional:
Erica: (she is completely unmoving, a look of anxiety on her bright red face)
"I'm sure Rachel will understand," Barry decided.
"Now, both of y'all are gonna hafta dress appropriately," Hatchet said as he handed each teen a neatly folded outfit. "Barry, here's your tux. Erica, your dress."
"I have to wear a dress too?" Erica cried.
"Quit complainin', or I'm gonna make all the other contestants watch your weddin'," Hatchet threatened.
Confessional:
Barry: (he is wearing a black tux with a purple bowtie) Well, I am 18, so I guess I can get married without parental permission, but I'm not sure about Erica. Oh, that's probably the least of her worries right now.
Erica: (she is wearing a white wedding dress) I hate this. I hate this dress, I hate this challenge, I hate Hatchet, and most importantly, I hate Barry!
Hatchet had set up a podium in the game room. He wore a priest's outfit and held a Bible in his hand. Barry stood on the other side of the podium, waiting for Erica.
"Hey, this outfit and me holdin' a Bible doesn't offend you, does it?" Hatchet asked Barry.
"No, I'm not Catholic," Barry said. "My church doesn't really have priests. And I'm never opposed to anyone holding a Bible. Have you considered reading it?"
"I thought you said you weren't gonna be like that," Hatchet said.
"Huh. Guess nobody's perfect," Barry chuckled.
All of a sudden, the two men heard a door close across the room. Erica walked in with a bouquet in her hands. She avoided making eye contact with anyone as she walked across the room and across from Barry.
"You look nice," Barry complimented.
Erica glared at him for a second before breaking eye contact again.
"We are gathered here today to pretend to join these two in non-holy matrimony," Hatchet announced to no one in particular. "Even though Barry's taken and Erica has been very open about her feelings for Barry, these two shall be bonded for the rest of the challenge for the sake of making Erica feel uncomfortable."
Erica tightly shut her eyes.
"We don't have to do this," Barry told her.
"Barry, do you take Erica to be your unlawfully wedded wife?" Hatchet asked.
Barry looked at Erica again with worry.
"I guess I do," Barry decided.
"Erica, do you-"
Hatchet stopped speaking when Erica pulled Barry towards her and kissed him on the lips. The kiss lasted for about three seconds before Erica broke off. She then struck Barry across the face and stomped away towards the door, trying to hide the tears that fell down her face.
"Ah, what the hell? I'll count it," Hatchet decided. "Erica's in the runnin' for invincibility!"
Confessional:
Erica: I hate Barry. I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him! (she starts to cry again) I hate him… I hate him…
Hatchet had taken Rachel to the foyer.
"A'ight, Rachel Valentine. Your last name's the last in the alphabet, so you're last up in the challenge," Hatchet said.
"I saw that coming," Rachel said. "I'm always near the end of the roll call list in school."
"And speakin' of school…" Hatchet chuckled. "We brought a couple of folks you might know."
Rachel swallowed nervously. "No you didn't."
"Wanna bet?" Hatchet taunted as he walked towards the Door of Shame. "It's been a while. I'm sure you miss your good friend… Evelyn."
"No!" Rachel shouted.
Hatchet opened the door. On the other side was a tall, athletic white girl with jet-black hair in a ponytail, a light blue top, light khaki shorts, and white running shoes.
"Hi, Rach!" Evelyn greeted. "I can't believe I'm seeing you here."
"What's my challenge, Hatchet?" Rachel asked quietly.
"Your challenge is to spend ten minutes with this chick," Hatchet answered. "If you can do that, you'll be in the drawin' for invincibility."
"Wow, I'm surprised you actually made it this far," Evelyn commented to Rachel as she walked into the house. "I figured someone as weak as you would be one of the first ones gone. I mean, you've already broken your arm and everything."
"It takes more than strength to go far in this game," Rachel told her. "It takes… brains, too."
"Oh, right, everything is brains with you, isn't it?" Evelyn scoffed. "It's honestly kind of cute that you still think that stuff matters. Let's be real here. You can't go anywhere in life when you're as weak as you are."
"Oh yeah? Tell that to… David Schwimmer," Rachel retorted.
"I don't know who that is, and I also don't care," Evelyn said. "Point is, if I haven't heard of him, then he hasn't gone anywhere, and therefore doesn't matter. Maybe you're weak in the brains department too and you're just in crazy denial."
"Sh-Shut up," Rachel frowned.
"Oh, don't be like that," Evelyn cooed. "I thought we were friends, Rach. I was so nice to you, for someone as weak in the looks department as you are."
"That's it! I can't take it!" Rachel shouted as she ran into the confessional.
Confessional:
Rachel: Evelyn is the bane of my school life. She goes around acting like we're friends, but all she does is say rude things to me, putting me down. She does this on Facebook too. My school is very sports-oriented, and someone as non-athletic as I am… let's just say I don't fit in too well. I thought Total Drama would be a nice way to take her off my mind. Evidently, that was too much to ask!
Hatchet stood outside the confessional door and knocked.
"Evelyn's gone. You've failed the challenge," Hatchet said.
Rachel opened the door a crack to make sure Hatchet was telling the truth. When she saw that Evelyn was gone, she warily exited the confessional.
Hatchet approached the intercom and took the microphone. "Attention maggots! The challenge is over! Everyone report to the foyer ASAP!"
The contestants had all returned to the foyer. Hatchet held a chef's hat in his hand.
"A'ight, so the five of y'all who completed your challenge and are eligible to win are Barry, David, Erica, Judy, and Tucker," Hatchet explained.
Rachel noticed Barry wearing a tuxedo.
"It's a long story," Barry told her. He then glanced at Erica, who had already changed back into her normal clothes.
"And the winner of the challenge is…" Hatchet said as he stuck his hand into his hat and pulled out of piece of paper.
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"Tucker!"
"Yeah!" Tucker whooped. "Tucker lives another day!"
"Crap…" Sonamjit muttered.
"Tucker, as the winner, pick three people to join you in first class," Hatchet said.
"Hmm…" Tucker pondered. "Judy, Rachel, and Spankety."
Ernie facepalmed.
"Why did that even surprise me…?" Hatchet asked as he rolled his eyes. "Now pick three people to sleep outside."
"David, Mac, and Bailey," Tucker decided.
"A'ight. That means that Franklin, Ernie, Erica, and Barry will sleep in the basement," Hatchet confirmed. "Tucker is safe. The rest of y'all aren't. Y'all have a couple hours to vote, so get to it!"
Confessional:
Judy: Today's challenge was brief, but it took a lot of courage to pull off. I am disappointed that I didn't get another win, but that one was mostly luck of the draw anyway, so I'm not too broken up about it.
Mac: I'm convinced that spiders crawled straight out of the pits of hell. There's no other explanation for them.
Bailey: Well, Rachel's vulnerable, so I suppose now is as good an opportunity as any to take her out.
David: I just hope I'm not a target again. That would suck.
Franklin and Judy met up on the balcony once again.
"So, I think I've figured out how to alert Rachel and Barry about Sonamjit," Franklin told her.
"Oh, are we still doing that?" Judy asked.
"Of course," Franklin said. "We throw a vote or two at Barry tonight."
"Why Barry?" Judy asked.
"Well, Rachel's going to notice shenanigans if Barry ends up in the bottom two," Franklin explained. "Barry's naïve and Rachel's a threat, so I'm not sure if he'd think anything was up if Rachel were in the bottom two. So when she asks us about it, just say it was Sonam's idea."
"That seems pretty dishonest," Judy admitted.
"Well you don't have to do it," Franklin said. "I know Barry is your friend, so I won't hold it against you if you don't vote for him."
"Thank you," Judy said.
"Of course, the plan probably won't work unless you do vote for him," Franklin continued. "If you do vote for him, I'll owe you one."
"I'll think about it," Judy decided.
"Understandable," Franklin nodded.
Confessional:
Judy: Maybe Franklin was really shaken up from his fear challenge, but he seemed way too serious today. I wonder if something's up.
Franklin: No, nothing's up. I'm just playing a bit more underhanded. It's a necessary evil, I think. I stick by my friends, and Sonamjit has proven that she is no friend of mine.
Sonamjit, David, and Mac all met up in the rec room.
"Okay… so…" Sonamjit trailed. "Since Beelzebub's gift to mankind… won invincibility… there'll be a bit of a… change of plans…"
"Dude. 'Beelzebub's gift to mankind' sounds like a metal song," David chuckled. "That's pretty sick."
"Focus…" Sonamjit said harshly. "We'll be voting… for Ernie… tonight…"
"That's fine with me," Mac said.
"Yeah. I'd say it's about time for him to go," David agreed.
"Dude. Imagine Tucker scrambling without Ernie to keep him safe," Mac said as he nudged David.
"Aw, that'd be hilarious," David chuckled. "He'd be all 'Tucker can't lose! Tucker's too sexy to lose! Why haven't any ladies tried to bang Tucker yet?!'"
"Heeheehahaha! That sounds just like him!" Mac cackled.
"Yes, yes… you're very funny…" Sonamjit said in annoyance. "Just remember… to vote for Ernie… tonight…"
"Yeah, yeah, we got it," Mac assured her.
"Vote Tucker. We got it," David added.
"Tucker's invincible you dolt…" Sonamjit growled.
"Oh, yeah, right," David said awkwardly.
Sonamjit rubbed her temples.
Confessional:
Sonamjit: How did I end up with the most… ADHD possible allies in this game…?
Mac: Aw, Sonam worries too much. She should put more faith in me and David. We're not stupid.
David: …I forgot who we're voting for.
Ernie and Tucker had met up in the attic.
"Huh. Smells like honey in here," Tucker noted. "And not like the honey pots Tucker's used to. Heheheh."
"Gross," Ernie sighed. "I actually, ya know, happen to like the scent of honey. Don't ruin it for me."
"Please. When has Tucker ruined anything?" Tucker asked.
"Whatever," Ernie said. "So, I couldn't, like, find Chris-Bot. You see it anywhere?"
"Nope. Tucker's been busy trying to guess the cup sizes of all the girls here," Tucker admitted.
"Is sex, like, all you think about?" Ernie asked.
"Can you blame Tucker?" Tucker snickered. "Sex is awesome."
"I seriously doubt you've ever even made it to second base," Ernie remarked.
"Tucker totally has!" Tucker insisted. "…Which one's second base again? Because… Tucker's gone so far so often, it's hard to remember."
"I honestly couldn't care less," Ernie shrugged. "Yeah, a relationship would be nice, but I'm not exactly a touchy-feely kind of guy, ya know?"
"You're missing out, dude," Tucker said.
"Whatever," Ernie said. "Just, ya know, keep an eye out for Chris-Bot and tell me who the target is if you find out."
"Will do," Tucker agreed.
Confessional:
Ernie: Maybe, ya know, basing our entire strategy on a robot might not have been the best idea, but it's whatever. Not like we're targets or anything.
Tucker: Heh. Tucker just realized why baseball is a euphemism for sex. One bat and two balls. Heheheh.
Barry and Rachel met up in Rachel's first class room.
"So, how does it feel knowing you got chosen for this room based entirely on your looks?" Barry joked.
"Barry, I'm not in the mood," Rachel sighed.
"What's wrong?" Barry asked.
"Let's just say the fear challenge didn't make my day any better," Rachel said.
"You want to talk about it?" Barry asked.
"No," Rachel said sadly.
"You sure?" Barry asked. "Talking about your issues can-"
"I said 'no', Barry," Rachel repeated, angry. "…I'm sorry. We can talk about it tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Barry said as he embraced Rachel. "I'm sorry for pressing it."
Rachel smiled. "You're too nice, you know that?"
"I don't believe there's such a thing," Barry said as he smiled back.
There was a brief silence.
"Barry, do you think I'm weak?" Rachel asked.
"What do you mean by 'weak'?" Barry asked.
"So it matters what I mean?" Rachel asked. "So I am weak in some areas?"
"I mean, your arm's broken, and you've never been super athletic, but-" Barry started.
"I'm not weak," Rachel insisted. "Please just say I'm not weak."
Barry held his girlfriend tighter. "Rachel, you are one of the strongest women I know. The fact that you've made it this far in the game even after an injury is only a small bit of proof towards that fact."
"Thanks," Rachel said. "That's exactly what I needed."
"I'm here to help," Barry said.
"Oh, and I'm pretty sure we're voting Ernie tonight," Rachel added. "Since we're voting how Sonam wants at the moment and Tucker's invincible."
"Oh, uh, right," Barry agreed.
Confessional:
Barry: Leave it to Rachel to turn a heartfelt bonding moment into strategy talk. Not that that's a bad thing. I think it's kind of cute, honestly.
Rachel: Barry's kind of great sometimes, you know that?
Erica and Bailey met up in the ballroom.
"So, remind me why we're here and not in the game room," Bailey said. "Not that it bothers me or anything, I'm just curious."
"I never want to set foot in that room again," Erica grunted.
"What happened?" Bailey asked.
"The fear challenge happened!" Erica snapped. "Might as well tell you because the rest of the freaking world knows. I'm afraid of getting married, so Hatchet made a fake marriage ceremony for me and Barry in that room."
"Awww," Bailey cooed. "How sweet."
"It's not sweet!" Erica insisted. "I can't stand Barry!"
"Why not?" Bailey asked. "He seems perfectly nice."
"That's what he wants you to think!" Erica ranted. "He's entirely fake! And everyone's falling for it! Even and especially Rachel!"
"Oh, um, okay," Bailey said. "I'll keep that in mind."
"You should," Erica said. "If you're not careful, he could dupe you next."
Erica's stomach began to growl.
"Should we get some lunch?" Bailey suggested.
"Might as well," Erica said as the two left the ballroom.
As the door closed behind them, Chris-Bot peeked out from behind one of the curtains.
Confessional:
Erica: And then Bailey tells me about her fear while we were eating lunch. Because I wanted to hear about blood transplants while I was eating.
Bailey: In retrospect, talking about my challenge while eating tomato soup might have been a bit rude of me.
The eleven contestants sat on a couple of the couches in the foyer. Hatchet came down the grand staircase carrying an ice box. He set the ice box down next to him as he stood across from the contestants.
"Alright, the votes have been cast, and now it's time to pass out the sodas," Hatchet said. "For those just tunin' in, first of all, why start with this episode and not the first episode? Secondly, I'm obligated to explain that whoever doesn't get a soda has been voted out. So, with that…"
"Tucker."
"Mac."
"Erica."
"Sonamjit."
"Judy."
"David."
"Franklin."
"Bailey."
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"Rachel."
Ernie and Barry glanced at each other, both unsure of what to think.
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"It's a tie."
"Aw, geez," Ernie said.
"So what do we do now?" Barry asked.
Hatchet took two cans of soda from the cooler and placed them on the coffee table in front of the couch where they both sat.
"So we're both safe?" Barry asked.
"One of these cans contains soda. The other contains mystery meat puree," Hatchet explained as he took a coin from his pocket. "Barry, call it."
"Heads. No, tails!" Barry said.
Hatchet revealed the outcome. "It was tails. Lucky you. You get first pick."
Barry felt both cans, only to find they were both equally cold. He took the one on his left. Ernie took the other can.
"And… drink!" Hatchet ordered.
Both boys opened their cans and began to drink. One of them instantly coughed up on his shirt.
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"Barry, that's gross," Hatchet commented. "Also, you're out."
"I guess that's fair," Barry sighed as he stood up to leave. "I'll see you guys later, I guess."
"Barry, wait!" Rachel called as she ran up to him. "I'm… I'm going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too, sweetie," Barry said. "But I know you can win this. Show the world how strong you really are."
Rachel hardly had time to blush before Barry gave her a kiss.
"I'll see you later," Barry said with a sad smile as he left through the Door of Shame.
"And with that, golden boy Barry's gone from the game," Hatchet said to the others. "How that'll affect the game can only be determined by time. Now off to bed with y'all!"
Confessional:
Franklin: Well, I can't say I saw that coming. I intended for Barry to be in the bottom two, but not get eliminated. What the hell happened?
Chris-Bot: Aren't I a stinker? Heheheh.
"Ten down, ten left," Hatchet told the camera. "How will Rachel react to her boyfriend bein' voted out? Will Sonamjit ever get a hold of her new alliance? What's the deal with Franklin's home life? All these questions might or might not be answered next time, on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Votes:
Sonamjit: I vote… for Ernie… Son of a bitch got me voted out… so he shall pay…
Franklin: I vote for Barry. Sorry, Sonam, but let this be a lesson to you.
David: Gotta vote for Ernie. It's what Sonamjit wants, and to be honest, I never liked Ernie that much anyway.
Ernie: So, word on the street is that, like, Barry's actually evil and fooling us all. That's what Chris-Bot said anyway, and that's the only lead I've got, so I vote for Barry.
Mac: I vote for Ernie. Dude seems like a stick in the mud anyway.
Tucker: Ernie told Tucker to vote for Barry. That's fine by Tucker. Barry's probably a threat.
Rachel: My vote's going to Ernie tonight. Sticking with the alliance is my best bet right now.
Bailey: Erica seemed very vehement that Barry go home, so I suppose I shall vote for him.
Barry: I guess I'm voting for Ernie. Nothing personal, I'm sure he's a nice enough guy, but it's what the alliance wants.
Judy: I… I vote for Barry. I'm feeling strangely powerless in this game, and if Franklin said he owes me one… sorry, Barry. It's not like you're going home tonight.
Erica: I vote for Rachel. That'll teach her to be such a skankwhore.
A/N: Farewell Barry. As far as the generic nice guy archetype goes, I like to think Barry was a success in keeping him from getting too stale while still keeping his morals intact. He was never my favorite character to write or anything, but I think he was important to the story as a whole, and could still be important, with the ripples his elimination will no doubt make in the next episode. He seemed to be fairly popular overall, so I'm sorry to his fans who wanted him to win, but that's how it is on Total Drama.