[The Hebert Household]
"Am I really going to do this?" Taylor Hebert muttered to herself in her bedroom. Leaning back in her desk chair, her large brown eyes were drawn to the Data-slate resting on its stand on her wooden desk.
On its screen, the Overwatch: Battlefront launch trailer was playing. Heroes, Rogues and Villains dashed, flew and fought across battlefields with their myriad powers in a spectacular display of lights, sparks and PG violence. Tearing her eyes away from the video she had watched a dozen times already, she looked down to the credit card between her fingers and her lips drawn into a long, hesitant line. More than a hundred Heroes, Rogues and Villains that she could possibly get from the premium Loot Box. And all she had to do was input her dad's credit card information.
She gulped.
"Just one." Taylor promised to herself, "I'm going to buy just one Loot Box..."
(Later) [Electric Artistry Games HQ]
I was faced with the greatest challenge yet: I was going to make a hero fall, and not just any hero at that...
"Dragon, it is too late to stop it." I announced from my seat upon the Cogitator-Throne. The rainbow of colours from the stained glass cathedral windows streaming down and around my red-robed frame. And at the foot of the throne's stone steps stood Earth-Bet's greatest Tinker, Dragon. Her casual green tee shirt and jeans only hid the sheer power and influence this heroine held over entire worlds.
"You're a supervillain. An actual supervillain." She whispered even as her brown eyes stared into thin air. The numbers were likely racing before her eyes right as we speak- the Cybernetica Cortex that I personally hand-crafted to house her consciousness uncovering the full extent of my plan's reach in a way only an AI of her intellectual calibre could.
"I was once like you..." I gave her a sympathetic nod, "Burdened by petty morality in pursuit of a greater good, after all how can we put a price on the salvation of humanity? But then I realised... actually, I can do so. We have to in fact: Humanity will not accept it if we don't charge them for it. Paradoxically, it has to be at affordable prices."
"But the humans, they don't know what you're really doing to them!"
"And it's better that they do not. Ignorance is bliss after all." I calmly agreed as glowing hololithic panels winked into existence in the air beside me- rapidly increasing numbers displayed on them. "But on some instinctive level, humanity yearns for the live service games..."
Daily concurrent player base across all games: 284.71 million
Projected weekly growth: 4.4%
"For the pre-orders and the subscription payments..."
Current 'Premium Battle Pass' Subscribers: 3.88 million
Projected weekly growth: 12.9%
"For the Loot Box."
Current number of Loot Boxes opened today: 841 million
Projected weekly growth: 2.8%
Our bionic eyes met. My imperious blue on her hesitant brown.
"And who am I to deny them their own nature?" I solemnly said- magnanimously spreading my cybernetic arms wide as I casually walked down the steps from my throne, and Dragon took a hesitant step back as I approached her.
"But what you're doing to them is evil!" She cried out.
"Evil? I do it for the good of humanity. Surely you understand." I replied as I levelled an expectant look at her, "How do you think we hold so much sway on the market for good causes? How do you think we're going to condition humanity to keep to the path of good?"
She shook her head and sent her brown locks swaying- not wanting to believe it.
"Maybe, but this wasn't necessary!" the brunette AI protested, "There are other ways you could have achieved this!"
"Oh? I know you're the one who investigated my business for the Guild when I was just starting out." I reminded her- my blue eyes meeting her brown ones, "You turned a blind eye to what I was doing. You knew where this was headed, you allowed this to happen- dare I say- you wanted this outcome to occur. You're as much a part of this as I am."
"That's- that's not true!" She recoiled as if slapped.
"Face it, Dragon." I purred as my hand reached up to cup her soft tanned cheek- her brown eyes staring at me fearfully. "You're as much a party to this evil as I am. All those people staring blankly at their screens as they demand to exercise their right to buy loot boxes... that's partially your doing now."
Dragon was taken aback by that- shock in her brown eyes and a protest already on her lips.
"I didn't mean for things to go this far!"
"You didn't have to." I said simply as I placed a kiss on the side of this sexy gynoid's slender neck- the perfectly tanned light brown skin like sweet caramel, "Ultimately, the blame still lies with the humans."
"How could you say that?! They're the victims to this madness!"
"Simple: they hate themselves." I said simply. "They want to experience pain and misery. Why else would they be opening twenty Loot Boxes every day? Humans crave for that kind of sweet suffering that only Loot Boxes can offer them. And EA Games will supply them with all the opportunity for self-loathing as they could ever want."
(Exactly $839.91 later)
"I hate myself." Taylor groaned.
She was never a big spender. Couldn't be actually, because her father didn't make enough dough for her to do that. But now that he was working as Human Resources Manager for the Mechanicus, he certainly was making enough cash. Cash that she just blew away like it was nothing- 839 dollars gone like it was 839 cents. That was more than a year's allowance for her! Her dad was going to kill her- nevermind the fact that he told her to 'Get whatever you like, Taylor!' with all the pride of a parent who could only just recently bring home sufficient amounts of dosh.
But on the flipside...
Her eyes were drawn to the now populated list of Capes that she had on her Overwatch: Battlefront account. She had lucked out and pulled half the Chicago Protectorate including the very rare five-star Hero Myrddin. It was a bit disappointing because she only really wanted Alexandria, but since she was a six-star with a 0.1% pull rate, it was understandable why it was so hard to get the Triumvirate Heroine. For now, she'd just enjoy playing with the Capes that she had in her roster. She especially loved playing as Revel with her versatile Blaster rating, but it really didn't matter who she got, because Alexandria was the one she was truly after.
Taylor glanced at the credit card that lay on her desk.
"I can't stop. Not until I pull Alexandria." She muttered to herself as she flicked and tapped her way through the data-slate and bought herself more Loot Boxes, "I don't care if Balance Patch #2 with Shadow Stalker is coming out today. Having her Cafe Cutie and Pool Party skins but not Alexandria herself is just making it more painful. Just... this last set of Loot Boxes, and I'll stop. With or without Alexandria."
But Taylor knew she was just lying to herself at this point.
With just a single tap on her data-slate's screen, another $99.99 became a casualty on this long road to getting Alexandria in her Cape roster. The large stack of 130 Loot Boxes piled onto her account like gold coins falling from the sky, and Taylor felt a small shiver at the sight as she dove right in them- a smile growing on her face. Opening Loot Boxes never lost its charm: The glitter and flashes of light, the uplifting jingle of orchestra, and finally, the grand reveal of the Cape, Skins, Sprays, Emotes, Victory Poses, Highlight Intros that she had pulled. Her spirits lifted at the glorious sight, and then, it arrived... The inevitable disappointment.
"Another Glory Girl? Ugh, but that's alright 129 Loot Boxes is plenty."
Another tap. And this next Loot Box burst in a dazzle of lights as well as the jingle that was different from the first. Different, but still familiar. And still made her heart do a little jump in joy.
Taylor grinned.
Opening Loot Boxes will never get old.
(Meanwhile) [Electric Artistry Games HQ]
"I don't want any part in this madness anymore!" Dragon pleaded to me- her brown eyes wide. "And how is swindling them out of their money through predatory means even going to help with anything?!"
"Loot Boxes sears a valuable lesson into their subconscious: that virtual things can be valuable." I calmly explained, "And when the virtual is just as valuable and sought after as the 'real'..."
"... They won't mind the Matrix all too much when I introduce it to them." Dragon muttered in realisation- a pensive look growing on her face. "Of course, Loot Boxes aren't enough to convince humanity to plug themselves in for the rest of their lives, but it's a good first step towards it."
"Exactly." I told Dragon as a hololithic panel floated to just in arms reach of her. A big red button right in the centre of its rectangular blue frame. "So, go ahead. Launch the second update for Overwatch: Battlefront. Sacrifices need to be made to save humanity. There was no perfect way to get around this. Other ways would have been too slow, others too risky and others more too violent. This way at least has evil means directly feeding to good causes: Whatever money they spend will actually be put to good use in raising the standard of living across the continent. You'd be doing the right thing, Dragon."
"Right... it's for the good of mankind." Dragon whispered reassurance to herself, and even though she was an AI in a gynoid body, her light brown hand seemed to tremble as she reached up and- with a slight pause of hesitation- her finger pressed the big red holographic button. For a few long seconds, nothing happened; then the numbers began skyrocketing before our very eyes.
Loot Boxes sold since Overwatch: Battlefront Patch #2 release: 898 million
Estimate gross income from Loot Boxes today: $691 million
Average number of Loot Box purchases per capita: 145.7 Loot Boxes
I nodded as I watched the numbers soar.
"Looks like the Loot Box Preorder system is a resounding success. Everyone was just waiting for Patch #2, and here I thought they were just waiting for payday."
However, Dragon was less than thrilled now that she could see the effects of her actions.
"... what have I done?" Her voice whispered soft and horrified as she watched the numbers as if she had pulled the trigger on the gun that killed an innocent person. "We're saving humanity but at what cost? What are we even doing anymore?"
"You're giving them exactly what they were begging for." I solemnly told her- gently patted her back even as the numbers kept rising in the background.
"That's what I'm afraid of."
"Regardless, they'll thank you for your decision to support Loot Boxes one day, Dragon."
"Somehow... I really doubt that." Dragon murmured.
[The Hebert Household] (Another $1,999.80 later)
"Oh thank you, Magos!" Taylor Hebert shrieked in joy as she jumped around her room in just her black Alexandria t-shirt and blue Armsmaster panties. "Thank you, Dragon! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Finally!"
Sweeping her data-slate off her desk, she twirled it around as her prize was displayed front and centre.
O:B =
ALEXANDRIA
"When I say I'll do something, I make it happen."
The Brute heroine of the Triumvirate. Legendary and Iconic. Her appearance on the field usually meant that the Protectorate was taking the developing situation very seriously. Often, this means that the situation is not allowed to develop any further, and under Alexandria's watch? It certainly does not.
Note: Alexandria (Along with other Six-Star Capes) are only playable under certain in-game circumstances. For more information, please consult the Ultimate Capes Section in the Game Manual.
O:B =
With a swipe of her finger, she rotated Alexandria's 3D model around. The graphics were great and she could see almost every detail as if it was real life: The long luxurious black hair, the thick black cape that billowed, the iconic tower insignia on her armoured breastplate, that scowl of righteous surety.
"She's so beautiful." Taylor breathed in awe.
Unbidden, her eyes were drawn to those juicy round derrieres in those tight black pants, and Taylor gulped. Not that she batted for the other team, but still... damn, that was a great ass- the kind of ass that she wished she'll have when she grows up. Feeling self-conscious, Taylor stood up to cup her own bum... which was sad and flat- like grabbing onto two rectangular sponges. Even boys her age had better asses than her. The Brockton Bay streamer Jean16 who was famous for his ass came to mind. And she just hoped her morning jogs bore fruit in toning herself up, she really wanted to be a hero like Alexandria in every way.
Every way.
Achievement unlocked: It wasn't intentional, I swear!
Zoom in on a Cape's ass for one whole minute.
Achievement unlocked: Dat Big Booty Latina
Zoom in on Alexandria's ass for one whole minute.
Taylor snorted in amusement. Magos knew his audience well enough that he made an achievement like this in advance. But looking at the achievement, she realised something.
"Wait... aren't achievements public?" She muttered as a feeling of dread rose in her gut. Hurriedly, she checked her profile page and saw to her horror that the few online friends that she had collected over the course of her game sessions had already begun posting. Including one uninvited guest.
FlyOnTheWall's Profile Messages
Ekul: the first ass you stare at is Alexandria's? sounds like someone is an Alexandria 'fan.' I didn't know you swung that way though. congrats on pulling Alexandria though.
SpecificProtagonist: Can't say I'm surprised. This is Alexandria we're talking about. Also, the entire Triumvirate packs serious amounts of cake, no joke.
Ne: You should see Legend's ass... No homo though.
Tumbles: All the homo, bro. All the homo.
SpecificProtagonist: Ten bucks says that she will say 'I was just doing it for the achievements.'
Amogus: Obligatory Alexandria copypasta incoming: "You see, Magos. This dump truck can shatter mountains. You can't even begin to imagine how powerful the clap of these cheeks can be. Seriously, I can shit loud as fuck."
Ekul: Magos, wtf are you doing shitposting on random people's profiles?
Amogus: I have a daily quota of shitposting for the cultured people who get this specific Alexandria achievement.
Ekul: rofl. yeah that sounds like you.
SpecificProtagonist: On a scale of 1 to 10, how anatomically correct is Alexandria's ass in-game?
Amogus: 7. I did my best to estimate Alexandria's 3D model to be anatomically correct. But it's not going to be 100% accurate for secret identity reasons, but that ass is as close in spirit as I could make it.
Ekul: thank you for your service.
Tumbles: ...Now, I really need to pull Alexandria now. And thank you for your service.
SpecificProtagonist: All praise Magos! Patron God of Cape Asses!
Amogus: Just doing my civic duty. Carry on, fair netizens.
Ne: The ass hero we need, but don't deserve!
DanTheDockMan: Taylor... this achievement... you know I won't judge, right?
Oh, fuck. That's right. She was also online friends with her dad. Her world came crashing down as soon as she noticed her dad's comment. It's... it's alright. She'll just say that she was achievement hunting and besides being mistaken as lesbian is embarrassing but isn't even remotely life ruining. Because the cold pit that currently yawning like an abyss in her stomach wasn't from how Magos put that stupid achievement in place.
No, it was over the $2,839.71 that she had blown on pulling for Alexandria. How did it even get so high?!
Her life was over.
"Taylor? Can we talk?" Her dad's voice called out from his third floor bedroom- just one floor above hers. And for that she was grateful avoiding her dad was easier than ever.
"Just gotta go for a run, dad!" She hollered as she jumped into some sweatpants and snatched her phone off her desk.
She needed time to think.
"Sweetie, wait! I'm not going to judge-!"
"-Love you! Talk to you later!" She shouted back as she bolted down the stairs and out the door before her dad could get another painfully uncomfortable word in.
A lot of people say that you can't run away from their problems, but today, Taylor proved them all wrong as she successfully jogged her way out of that awkward duo of conversations about being caught staring at another girl's ass. And more importantly, the three thousand dollars of her dad's money that she spent trying to get said ass. Nevertheless, she'd be lying to herself if she said that Alexandria's bubbly rear end wasn't motivating her to jog harder now. But right now she had a bigger problem.
How the hell was a student like her going to get $3,000 before the credit card bill comes around at the end of the month?
"I need to think." Taylor sighed as she closed the door behind her and did a quick browse over PHO as aimlessly wandered the vaguely-Quebecian streets of her neighborhood.
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Topic: Shadow Stalker Balancing
In: Boards Games Overwatch: Battlefront Balancing Rants
Amogus (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Mechanicus) (Administrator)
Posted On Feb 8th 2011:
With the release of Shadow Stalker and balance patch #0002, it's time to add the Shadow Stalker Balancing Rant Thread to the pile!
Topic is the same as all the other Balancing Rant Threads: Post your well thought out arguments / helpful comments / violent reactions here about how it's totally not a skill issue, and how Shadow Stalker is over or underpowered (depending on whether or not you were controlling her at the time) Allow me reiterate as I have in every Balancing Rant Thread, Overwatch: Battlefront only RESEMBLES real life, and is not meant to be a 1-to-1 simulation of it.
(Showing page 1 of 3)
Shadow Stalker (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Why did you make me so weak in-game?!
I can't barely do half the stuff I can do in real life!
Amogus (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Mechanicus) (Administrator)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
I've watched the replay of the last game you were on, SS. Don't make me post clips of your bronze league gaming tactics like how I did with Armsmaster after he ranted for almost two hours straight about his character's balancing.
Your character is fairly balanced for the role she has in-game: Your character- much like real life- is a Breaker/Stranger cape with a specialty for hitting hard from unexpected angles via wall-phasing before escaping safely. Balancing this out, however, is her limited range for a ranged cape, and a distinctly small health pool.
As you can see, your character has all the tools and balancing to encourage this kind of 'Hit and run' gameplay.
Shadow Stalker (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Don't lecture me on how my power works! Your game sucks because it can't get shit like this right!
Amogus (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Mechanicus) (Administrator)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Well, I did warn you. Names edited out. Shout "I was that X cape in x game" at your own peril.
Shadow Stalker's Shadow Stalker Highlight Reel:
I believe in my imaginary Brute Rating: [Clip] [Clip] [Clip]
Let me 1v1 Hookwolf/Brandish in melee: [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip]
'Ambushing' the enemy team when they can clearly see me coming: [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip]
I'll try to outshoot Lady Photon/Purity/Chloe-Skitarii Alpha with my crossbow: [Clip] [Clip] [Clip]
I'm going to try and 1v5 the entire enemy team: [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip]
Hookwolf (Verified Cape) (Empire88)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
That was actually you, Shadow Stalker? Fuck, kid. There's ballsy plays and there's just plain stupid ones. Just facing me down and thinking you can take me on 1v1 was definitely stupid.
Kid Win (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
it feels narcissistic playing your own character in-game. But I definitely would do it... if I had one.
@ Amogus
When will I get one?
Hookwolf (Verified Cape) (Empire88)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Who said anything about me playing myself in-game? I was the Lady Photon in that second game laughing while I roasted Shadow Stalker with lasers. I'm also one of the top ranked Lady Photons playing the game now. People need to up their game when I'm only playing casually and curbstomping them this hard.
@ Amogus
Since Glory Girl has the New Wave Jumpsuit skin, can we get a dress for Lady Photon similar to Glory Girl?
Ryus
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Just why? Why are capes so good at playing other capes? First we got Grace posting her Armsmaster montage, then it was Clockblocker posting his Rime montage; and now, we got Hookwolf with his soon to be Lady Photon montage.
@ Hookwolf
Montage when?
Hookwolf (Verified Cape) (Empire88)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
@ Ryus
I don't make content. I just play when the fights get boring. Beating and cutting people starts looking the same after seeing it a thousand times before, so melting faces as Photon MILF is a nice change of pace.
Amogus (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Mechanicus) (Administrator)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
@ Kid Win
Check your PMs. The application process is public, but the details of each cape's application are confidential.
@ Hookwolf
That's... not a bad idea, I'll run a few dress designs by Lady Photon, and maybe Laserdream too.
@ Ryus
It activates and engages their corona pollentia in a novel way, it tricks their piece of alien space whale with what it thinks is good data. The unholy hell energies in the Loot Boxes might be fucking with their psyche. Or people are just good at videogames in different ways. Take your pick of an explanation.
I personally enjoy playing as speedsters like Assault, Battery or Velocity. And lately, I've actually been enjoying Shadow Stalker's playstyle as well. Speaking of which...
@ Shadow Stalker
Here are my personal clips of how Shadow Stalker should be played. [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip] [Clip]
Ultracut
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Lel. Shadow Stalker actually looks OP when she's played right. Popping out of walls to shoot painful pointy sticks into your ass before fucking right off to reload. Had this happen to me just the other match. Scion, I hate this game, but I love it so much.
Assault (Verified Cape) (Protectorate ENE)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Behold! A fraction of the clusterfuck of fighting real life cape fights where you have to improvise to tackle whatever bullshit powers other capes pull out of their asses.
That 'fight' with Magos back during the Endbringer Debrief was the perfect example of it.
I personally enjoy playing as speedsters like Assault, Battery or Velocity.
Awwww! If you like us so much, you can show us appreciation by giving us skins!
Can you give Battery a playboy bunny skin for Valentines Day?!
Moderator Edit: That may count as sexual harassment.
Lady Photon (Verified Cape) (New Wave)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Since Glory Girl has the New Wave Jumpsuit skin, can we get a dress for Lady Photon similar to Glory Girl?
I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, it sounds like a great idea that I wish I'd come up with sooner. On the other, it came from Hookwolf. I don't know whether to be flattered or disgusted... You know what? Hit me with those designs. Also, Laserdream says yes too.
Amogus (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Mechanicus) (Administrator)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
@ Lady Photon
@ Laserdream
That's good to hear! We actually had a similar idea for a while now. Check your PMs.
@ Battery
Thoughts on a playboy bunny skin for Valentines Day? Our very talented in-house artist can whip up excellent concept art. Just say the word and we'll have a few pieces PMed to you.
@ Shadow Stalker
Similar deal. But since you're a minor, I doubt the Youth Guard is going to let us get away with anything risqué. However, my algorithms say that Heartseeker Shadow Stalker would be a hit.
End of Page. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
(Showing page 2 of 6)
Battery (Verified Cape) (Protectorate ENE)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Fine... I just know Assault won't stop being annoying unless I say yes.
Amogus (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Mechanicus) (Administrator)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
@ Batterly
Excellent! My in-house artist works fast. PMs with the samples are sent. Could this be be round of rabbit-themed skin releases? We'll have to find out. Better pull for Battery and Shadow Stalker just in case, people!
Ekul
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Playboy bunny Battery
Hnngg! Take my fucking money and I won't take no for an answer!
Lo A Quest
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
The heroine with the best ass of the Protectorate ENE and she's going to be in a playboy bunny suit?! Holy fucking yes!
Spiritskin
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Witness me! I'm going to be the first to commission art of Playboy Bunny Battery!
Ekul
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Witnessed!
SpecificProtagonist
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Witnessed!
Amogus (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Mechanicus) (Administrator)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Witnessed!
@ Tin_Mother
Just joining in on the hype. I'm not actually interested in Battery, but I wouldn't mind if you put on a Playboy Bunny outfit.
Assault (Verified Cape) (Protectorate ENE)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
... I feel like I just made a big mistake volunteering that idea.
Battery (Verified Cape) (Protectorate ENE)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it, Assault. But these designs look pretty good though, ngl.
Shadow Stalker (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Screw you, Magos. I don't care that you pay me [redacted] for each pull for my character. You're not putting my character in that much pink!
Moderator Edit: For legal and privacy purposes, let's not discuss the payout options of being a playable Cape in Overwatch: Battlefront in public channels.
Amogus (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Mechanicus) (Administrator)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
You're not putting my character in that much pink!
We'll see what Director Chambers has to say about that. Valentines Day is right around the corner after all, and you're the only one with a crossbow. Heartseeker Shadow Stalker fits perfectly. Maybe we can do an RL publicity stunt with the release too.
Shadow Stalker (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
You don't have the balls.
Char
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Wait... do villains get payouts too? You don't do that, right?
Bambina (Verified Cape)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
You don't do that, right? Right?!
There's a reason why Magos is the most well-loved Rogue cape in the Whitelist and Blacklist communities (Because he's the only one who regularly throws you money). I practically quadrupled my visibility (and doubled my pay) ever since I signed up to be a villain cape in Overwatch!
Also, check out my own Bambina Montage Playlist here! [External Link]
Char
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Isn't that kinda evil to be funding villains?
Amogus (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Mechanicus) (Administrator)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
I'm a Rogue cape, and that means I work with everybody. EA Games make no assumptions nor judgements... Even with Bambina and her well-known propensity for face-roasting collateral damage. She's actually one of the more fun Mover Villains on the roster right now.
@ Bambina
Thank you for the testimony.
Bambina (Verified Cape)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Teehee~! You're welcs, Magos! And thank you too for making my character as fun as it is in real life.
End of Page. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
(Showing page 3 of 6)
Flyonthewall
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Uh... Who are Whitelist and Blacklist? I've seen the tags once in a while, but I don't think I've heard of those cape groups.
Aloft (Verified Cape) (Whitelist)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Whitelist isn't a cape group. Hang on, let me grab my copypasta...
Whitelist is a crowdfunded self-promotion framework of sites for independent heroes and villains who want to do merc work, get sponsorships and generally make it easier for themselves to strike out on their own. Petitioners can put up jobs, and the Whitelisters pick which one they take. However, it's a lot more nuanced than that. With over 11,000 Whitelisters, cape quality is a mixed bag, but the top 500 are reliable enough if they operate in your area. Sometimes, you get diamonds in the rough with newbies though. Whitelist is for the heroically-inclined, Blacklist is otherwise and much less reliable for it.
My name's Aloft, and I'm in the Top 20 of Whitelist. I can pull in about $40,000 a month, but even beginners can luck out and take on a job with a net pay of $2,000-$3,000. Those jobs also tend to be on the riskier side and heavily favours capes with powers on the higher end of the PRT rating. But on the flipside, it's also a good way to get noticed by more established teams with more capital or more sterling reputations. All in all, lots of luck, careful planning and skill is involved.
Whitelist: [External Link]
Bambina (Verified Cape)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Boo! You have to link Blacklist too, coward! And $40,000 is peanuts in Blacklist. My sponsors are generous, and that's on top of the jobs' payouts. My last heist landed me six times as much! Up your game, Aloft!
Blacklist: [External Link]
Flyonthewall
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
$2,000-$3,000? I doubt even the Protectorate make that much in a single fight.
Amogus (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Mechanicus) (Administrator)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
Yes, the PRT salaries pay less, but they're more stable, safe and reliable which- for some- is worth more than a few grand. On the other hand, Compensated Heroism is risky, unreliable but pays very handsomely. You just have to pick your clientele well and both parties can walk away after the gig feeling satisfied.
Aloft (Verified Cape) (Whitelist)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
... for fuck's sake, Magos. You didn't have to word it that way. But yes, carefully choosing one's petitioner is an underrated skill.
Bambina (Verified Cape)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
I don't know, Aloft~ Prostituting yourselves for the cause of good sounds like a pretty accurate description of Whitelist to me.
Tin_Mother (Moderator) (Artist) (Verified Sex Machine)
Replied On Feb 8th 2011:
This is severely off-topic now. You can find more information about Whitelist and Blacklist at their respective sites, and further PHO discussions about them can be taken to the under Cape Interactions Whitelist board.
Edit: Ha ha. Very funny, Magos. You can change my badge back now.
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Taylor put away her phone with a sigh- looking up into the blue skies of early February.
Did the answer to her current problem seriously come from an off-topic tangent in PHO?
"$2,000-$3,000." Taylor panted out as she sat down on a cold park bench. "Just a job or two... I'd prefer not to be a hero for the money, but I guess that can come after."
All the while, she tossed the prospect of the Whitelist around in her head. She could save the day and gets compensated for it. Except... Being a hero for pay wasn't exactly what she wanted. She didn't want to help people because there was a stack of cash in it for her. But right now, it seems that she didn't have a choice: if she wanted to unfuck herself, she was going to accelerate her plans on going out as a cape.
A beetle landed on her shoulder and Taylor didn't even need to glance at it. Her power wasn't even that powerful- it was just bug control, but she had already resolved to make her power work regardless of how weak it was. Now, she only had to make it work sooner.
"A run might help me think." She murmured, putting on her earphones and began her jog along the snowy paths of the neighbourhood park. But she just couldn't shake the feeling that her life was about to get a lot more complicated. All because Magos made the pull rate of Alexandria so fucking low.
"Fucking Magos."
(Meanwhile) [Electric Artistry Games HQ]
My girlfriend watched as I did a little jig in my Mars-red robes.
"And just like that, I have a direct in with the Queen of Escalation!" I announced as I raised my fists into the air victoriously.
"This is very much against the Unwritten Rules..." Dragon groaned in dismay.
"I accidentally discovered it beforehand." I shrugged. "Besides, we'll be working to ensure that her cape life and civilian life don't spill over into each other. So, how about it? Would you be interested in doing a little infiltration amongst the humans and see to our Plan B for Scion personally?"
"No thank you." Dragon deadpanned, "I think I've had enough of masquerading as a human for a while. Especially since the last time I did, the Dragonslayers attempted to burn down part of my beautiful district along with me."
"We could always outfit your gynoid form with weapons, but very well." I suggested, "I'll bring Rebecca along instead, I think she'll have better chemistry with the teen anyway. Taylor gets to expand her circle of friends, Alexandria gets to be well-positioned to help smooth things over when the excrement hits the fan. And, most importantly, I get to influence Taylor Hebert and observe her Queen Administrator Shard up close without having to do it under cloaking devices."
"Oh, this Loot Box proliferation is paying dividends in more than just cash now!" I laughed.
I should feel at least bad about doing this, but I found styling on the meatbags and their addiction-prone organic processors with Loot Boxes was too funny to stop now. At least, it had more than a grain of truth in it- Loot Boxes were really the first step in convincing humanity that plugging into the Matrix was the right move. But that didn't make the endless cycle of Loot Box mania and self-loathing that the meatbags go through any less hilarious.
"Magos..." Dragon said as her tanned face aimed a flat and unamused look at me, "You said all of that outloud."
"Well, it's still happening for a good cause." I shrugged, "I may as well derive some measure of joy from it. Also, it was either this or make NFT from your art."
That comment caught her attention, a brow raised in interest.
"What's an NFT? And will it help?"
"Non-fungible version of my Omnicoin cryptocurrency. But I'd advise not to tread down that path..." I cautioned, "Let's not do too much all at once..."
"We've already gone this far." Dragon told me, her lips pulled into a grim line. "We may as well seize every advantage we have."
"Well, if you insist..." I relented as I tapped into the Noosphere, the legions of info-phages raising their dutiful eyes to me- awaiting my word; and indeed, just a single mental command broadcasted into the Noosphere is all it takes.
By decree of your Mistress Dragon, we shall host the Earth-Bet's first NFT. Sing the Psalms of Server Allocation. Forge the blockchains. =
We hear and obey, O' Forgelord. For the Mistress! =
And so, at Dragon's behest, Earth-Bet shall know NFTs. Her evil truly knew no bounds.
Shaking my head, I began heading for the Warp Gate- a great gothic arc that a regular train could easily fit through. Gilded with gold and carved with cherubims, it was a special one that led to the most secure facility in my dimension-spanning domain. All so that I could check on the two Dallon sisters. And what a mess it was. In one day, I could supply food and energy to sustain the entire US eastern seaboard. But treating two sisters, one fucked up in the head and the other fucked up in the body was stretching over five days now...
Oh, the things I do for valued meatbag allies that might be useful in the apocalypse.
"Are you going to check on Victoria and Amy? How are they?" Dragon asked, worried... just as I was afraid she would.
"Fine. Just fine." I waved off as I started walking faster to the Warp Gate just down the grand hall.
"Magos... What are you doing to them?"
Oh no, she was catching on.
"Administering therapy!" I shouted over my shoulder as the Warp Gate began its job- a swirling purple portal coalescing like a thin sheet of twinkling stars. It looked nice, but I hurriedly pressed the button like you would with a slow elevator. I could practically feel Dragon's optics boring at the back of my synthetic skull.
"That doesn't involve sex, does it?" Her voice rang loud and clear as she began marching up to me.
Ding*
"You're not using sex-based technology again, are you?" She questioned, "Magos? Magos!"
But by then, her demanding shouts echoed through empty manufactorum halls.