I pay the cab driver and get out, dragging my bag with me. I wait for a while, staring up at the apartment. If he's there, he's sleeping, it's all in darkness. I check the time. 4am. Yeah, he'll be sleeping. I walk up and get my key out of my bag, putting it in the lock and turning it quietly. Straight away the smell hits me. Alcohol. Lots of it. The room is lit by the tv, a screen of dancing black and white dots. Whatever he was watching finished ages ago. A snore punctuates the silence and I look at the sofa. He's asleep, flat on his back, a bottle of beer half finished in his hand. I dump my bag and shut the door quietly before walking over to him and taking the bottle out of his hand. "You're a fucking dumbass" I whisper, turning the tv off and walking away. "Lora" he slurs. I pause, turning back to look at him. He's still asleep. I shake my head and walk to the bedroom, closing the door softly behind me.

I don't sleep. I'm too busy listening for him, in case he's sick in his sleep. Not that he's ever sick. "Waste of perfectly good beer" he always says. I finally give up at 8am, sunlight streaming in through the gap in the curtains. I grab some shorts and a vest out of a drawer and pull on my running shoes. Time to hit the desert. I sneak out of the bedroom quietly. He's still asleep, snoring quieter this time, and on his side which makes me smile. I grab my key and my iPod and open the door, checking him for a reaction the whole time. Nothing. He's dead to the world. I close the door behind me and head for the desert.

I run, and run, and run, until my legs burn, and then I run some more. When I finally let myself back into the apartment it's 10.30 and Jon isn't on the sofa anymore. I look up as he walks out of the kitchen. "Lora" he whispers. I don't answer him, heading straight for the shower. When I've finally washed all the desert off myself I get out, grabbing denim shorts and a bikini top. I pull my hair into a messy bun, get dressed, and head into the lounge to face my husband.

"When did you get back?" he asks quietly. "Last night" I say. "Came in, turned the tv off, took the beer from my drunken bum of a husband and went to bed. Didn't sleep in case he was sick in his sleep, but went to bed all the same." He nods, eyes full of tears. "I'm sorry" he whispers. I nod. "Forget it" I say walking into the kitchen. He spins me around and pushes me against the wall, the force behind it surprises me. "Jon" I whisper. He glares at me. "Don't Jon me" he snarls. "Had to have one last supper with your boyfriend before you flew home to your loser husband did you?" I can't say anything, I'm still winded from hitting the wall. "Quit faking Lora" he says. "You're a wrestler, you know how to take a bump." "A planned bump, yeah!" I choke. "Not being thrown against a wall by someone I trust! Get away from me Jon. Now." He backs away, hands in the air. I step away from the wall slowly, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "Lora" he whispers. I ignore him, opening it and drinking half straight down. Suddenly he's behind me again, pressing a cold towel against my back. "Ow!" I yell. "What the fuck are you doing?" "Just keep still" he whispers. I watch as he runs the towel under the cold tap, gripping on to the cupboard as the water runs red. "Jon?" I ask shakily. "Lora I'm so fucking sorry" he whispers. I turn around slowly, groaning when I see the blood on the wall underneath the hook where we keep the window keys. He threw me on a hook. Great. "Get away from me" I say quietly. "Lor, you need..." he starts, pressing the towel against my back again. "Get the fuck away from me!" I yell. He drops the towel and backs off quickly. "Stay away Jon" I say, walking past him and making my way to the bedroom. I slam the door behind me and get on the bed, picking my phone up and dialling Finn.

I groan, hanging up before he answers. I can't get him involved. I can't get anyone involved. This could all spiral out of control. I need to deal with this myself. My phone rings. Finn. "Hey" I say quietly as I answer it. "What's wrong?" he asks quickly. "Nothing" I say. "I just wanted to thank you for last night." "He's kicked off, hasn't he?" he asks. I bite my lip. He doesn't know how right he is. "He's ok" I say. "I'm just staying out of the way for a bit. He's got house shows this weekend so I can get back to normal then." "Ok" he says slowly. "Lor, you only got to say and I'll get you from there. You know that, right?" "Yeah" I say. "I'm ok though. I promise." "Ok" he says. "I guess I'll see you Monday then." "Yeah" I say. "Bye Finn. And thank you." "No problem" he says, hanging up. I throw the phone on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Then the tears come. And keep on coming.