I must have finally cried myself to sleep. When I wake up I try and sit up but I can't. Shit. "Jon!" I yell. "Jon!" He opens the bedroom door warily. "What's wrong?" he asks. I shake my head. "I can't sit up" I say. "I think I'm stuck to the blanket. Can you help me?" He hesitates and I groan. "Please Jon" I whisper. "I'm scared Lora" he whispers back. "I fucking hurt you." "Just get a damp cloth" I say. "Just to dampen the sheet to get it off." He nods and disappears into the bathroom, coming back with a wet towel. I roll onto my side, hearing him gasp as the sheet comes with me. "Brace yourself" he warns, dabbing my back gently until the sheet falls away. "Fuck Lora" he moans. "I'm so sorry." I sit up and look at him. He's obviously been crying. A hell of a lot, actually. His eyes are red. His heart is breaking, and mine is too. Finally I speak. "I'm gonna take another shower" I say. "Get this dried blood off me. And then we're gonna talk. And talk good." He nods at me slowly, watching as I get off the bed. "Lora" he says. I stop but don't look at him. "I love you" he says quietly. I don't answer, don't look at him, just walk into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind me.
He's not in the bedroom when I come out. I dress quickly in a strapless top and shorts and head out to the lounge. He's not there either. Actually, on closer inspection, he is. Crouched behind the sofa, tears rolling down his face. "Fuck sake Jon" I groan, running to him and pulling him to me. He cries like a baby on my shoulder, holding me close but not too tight. "I fucking hurt you Lora" he sobs. "The last thing I ever wanted to do, and I did it." I kiss his head and sit down, pulling him onto my lap. "No" he says suddenly. I watch as he stands up, making his way onto a sofa and gesturing for me to sit opposite. I get up slowly and sit down, watching his face for a reaction. None, until I sit back and wince in pain. Concern flashes across his face, but quickly disappears when I tell him I'm ok. He takes a deep breath. "I'm just gonna talk" he says. "And tell you what's going to happen." I frown but nod, waiting for him to finish. "Fuck" he says, running his hand through his hair. "Ok. When you were in the shower I made a few phonecalls. I'm gonna go crash at Joe's for a few nights, give us some time apart, to practice." "Practice?" I ask. He gulps before nodding. "Trial separation" he says quietly. I look at him in shock, unable to speak. "W-what?" I ask. "I've phoned a few divorce lawyers" he admits. "I'll give you everything Lora, anything you want it's yours..." "You!" I sob. "I want you! I love you!" He shakes his head. "Not an option" he says coldly. "I'm bad for you. I hurt you. I'm just gonna go pack some things..." "No!" I yell. He ignores me and stands up, walking to the bedroom and closing the door behind him. I wait for a few seconds, stuck for what to do. Then it hits me. He can't leave if he can't get out.
"Yeah" he says, walking out of the bedroom with a few bags. "I'll get a flight as soon as I can. Yep, just headed to the airport now. No Joe, I don't need to reconsider. We both need out of this marriage. I'll explain when I see you. Ok. Later." He hangs up and looks at me. "I'll see you at Raw" he says quietly. I don't say anything, just watch as he goes to the front door. "Shit" he says, checking his jacket for his keys. He looks up at me quickly. "Where are my keys Lora?" he asks. I shrug. "How should I know?" I ask. "You were passed out when I got home, remember?" He groans. "Well let me use yours" he says, holding out his hand. I shake my head. "Nope" I say. He growls. "Lora" he warns. "Keys. Now?" "Jon" I say. "No." "Fuck sake!" he yells. "Don't be so fucking stupid Lora! You shouldn't be around me! Let me go!" He runs into the kitchen. "If I can't go through the door" he says, hunting through the drawers. "I'll go through the window." That's what he thinks. "Fuck Lora!" he yells. "Where the fuck are the window keys?" He runs back in, glaring at me. "I'm not telling you Jon" I say. "You're not leaving me, I won't let you." "Lora please" he begs, kneeling in front of me, tears streaming down his face. "We can't do this. We can't. You need me to go." "Jon" I whisper, crying too. "I need you here. I love you." He shakes his head, closing his eyes as I stroke his cheek. "Please Lora" he whispers. "No Jon" I say. "You're not leaving me. I'm not leaving you. There will be no divorce. Not now. Not ever." His phone rings and he glances across at his bag. I stand up and go to get it. "Sorry Joe" I say, answering it before Jon can argue. "Change of plan. We're on lockdown." I end the call and turn his phone off. "And you can get these back in the bedroom pretty damn quick" I say, kicking his bags.