A/N: The final five. Feels like just yesterday the merge had just started. Anyway, this is a new poll for who your favorite contestant in the F5 is, so please vote in that when you can. :)
"Last time on Total Drama House Party..." Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "The final six seemed pretty obviously split into three groups of two. Rachel and Franklin, as the last two members of the Flame/Thunder alliance, had no choice but to stick together. David and Mac have been friends for a while, and that don't seem to be changin' anytime soon. And Erica and Ernie seem to have hit it off after formin' an alliance. So naturally, I screwed with everythin' by making the challenge a Tri-Armed Triathlon mixing the pairs up. In the end, Ernie and Mac won Invincibility, and even though David was deemed a threat, the votes went towards Erica and Rachel that night, with the seductress-turned-good goin' home. What will Erica do now that her rival's been eliminated? Will David keep up with the strategic game? Will Franklin survive with no allies left? Will Ernie ever be in danger? Will Mac ever be deemed a threat? Find out ya fool! Only on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Erica and Franklin went outside to the backyard.
"If I don't hold the record for most trips to the backyard this season, I'd be surprised," Erica remarked.
"It's entirely likely," Franklin said. "Just goes to show where a bad attitude can send you."
"Uh, you're out here too, Einstein," Erica pointed out. "What does that say about you?"
"It says that Mac and Ernie had to pick a pair to go outside, and that your attitude is much worse than Rachel's or David's," Franklin explained.
"And yet Rachel got more votes to go home than I did," Erica said smugly. "Speaking of which, you're probably next. Unless you want to strike a deal, which I may or may not have for you."
"I thought we were already in an alliance, but fine, I'll humor you," Franklin sighed. "What's your deal?"
"Stick with Ernie and me, and we'll guarantee you make it to the final three," Erica explained. "You'll probably be able to beat either of us in the finale, so you have nothing to lose."
"How do I know I can trust you?" Franklin said with a leer. "After all, you just voted out my ally."
"Yeah, but that was Rachel," Erica said. "I don't hate you nearly as much as I hated her."
"Uh, okay?" Franklin said, unsure of how to take what Erica had said.
"Look, it's either Ernie and me, or the goofs, and the goofs are physical and social threats," Erica said.
"I'll think about it. It's late, and I'm tired," Franklin said.
"Yeah, good point," Erica conceded.
Confessional:
Erica: The way I see it, Ernie's made it as far as he has because of strategy, right? I figure it wouldn't hurt to try some of that for myself. I'd like to win this game, and if strategy is the way to do that, then so be it.
David went down to the basement, alone.
"Looks like it's just me down here tonight," David noted.
David took his iPod from his duffel bag.
"Thankfully, I found my charger," David chuckled as he put his earbuds in.
David looked around to see if anyone was watching him, apparently forgetting about the camera filming him and then proceeded to headbang and sing along loudly to his music.
The camera cuts to the future, as David is still singing along to his music. He then pauses the song on his iPod.
"Whew. I'm beat. Time for sleep," David said. He took a look at the digital clock on the nightstand and saw that it was 6am.
"...Shoot," David said.
Confessional:
David: Is this why Ernie falls asleep during the day so much? Does he just stay up all night doing... Ernie things?
Ernie and Mac made their way to the first place rooms.
"Dude, how cool is this? Twice in a row in first class!" Mac said excitedly.
"I'm no stranger to it," Ernie said in an annoyed deadpan. "In fact, I think I got it thrice in a row early in the game, so, like, calm down. It's nothing special."
"You calm down, dude. You've been here this whole game," Mac retorted. "I was gone for like a third of it."
"Can't imagine why your team would want to vote you out," Ernie said sarcastically.
"Oh, it was all a misunderstanding," Mac chuckled. "But hey, it's all good now."
"Glad to hear it," Ernie said flatly. He opened the nearest door. "Welp, I think this is my room. Good night."
Ernie shut the door.
Mac blinked.
Ernie left the room.
"That was the bathroom," Ernie said in annoyance.
"Cool," Mac chuckled.
Confessional:
Ernie: Like, there's a reason Mac and I don't, ya know, talk ever. We have nothing in common.
Mac: Ernie's weird. Heeheehahaha!
The next morning, Franklin ran into Mac in the hallway.
"Mornin', Franklin," Mac greeted cheerfully.
Franklin only gave a grunt of recognition.
"Oh, hey, sorry about voting for Rachel and stuff," Mac giggled. "Just trying to stay alive, you know?"
"I understand," Franklin said. "But while we're here, can you answer me one question?"
"Uh, sure," Mac agreed.
"Am I the next to go?" Franklin asked.
"I dunno. I'd like to get Ernie out first, personally," Mac admitted.
Franklin chuckled darkly. "Perhaps I can be of assistance?" he offered.
"Huh?" Mac asked.
"I join your alliance with David. Final three deal," Franklin explained. "We take out Ernie and Erica, then I can only imagine it'd be two against one since you guys don't seem likely to turn on each other."
"Hm... that does sound awful convenient," Mac pondered. "Ah, what the hay? You've got yourself a deal, son!" Mac shook Franklin's hand with a tight grip.
"Ow!" Franklin winced.
"Heeheehahaha!" Mac cackled. "Laters!"
With this, Mac skipped away.
Confessional:
Franklin: It pays to keep your options open. Ernie's the game's biggest mental threat, David's the game's biggest physical threat, Mac's probably the game's biggest social threat, and Erica's the game's biggest drifter. Leaving me in the middle to decide who's the biggest threat of all. What to do, what to do?
Mac: That was awful nice of Franklin to forgive me and David for taking out his ally so quickly. It's a good thing I backstabbed Bailey earlier, because he'd probably just kick my ass if we took her out instead of Rachel last night. Although that might be fun... heeheehahaha...
David sat down at one of the tables in the dining room. Yolonda wordlessly served him a plate of microwave waffles and returned to the kitchen.
"Look, I said I'm sorry!" David called to the kitchen. "Are you still on this?!"
Yolonda entered the dining room, clearly annoyed at David.
"You never said you were sorry," Yolonda said. "This is the first time you've ever even mentioned the word."
"Really? You sure I didn't say it in some random confessional?" David griped.
"Okay, you have no right to get angry at me for that," Yolonda snapped.
"Um, I think I do," David frowned. "You were snooping through my private thoughts. They're called 'confessionals' for a reason. And you're no priest. ...Ooh, I should write that down. That'd make a good song lyric."
"That's not even the issue at hand here," Yolonda said. "You only think of me as the hot girl who brings you good food. Nothing more."
"That's not true!" David insisted. "...I do like you as a person, Yolonda. I'm just not good at talking about my feelings and stuff, you know? I'm more of a 'death and destruction' kind of guy. Romance isn't my thing. I think you're... like... smart, and stuff... See? No good."
Yolonda took a deep breath and left the dining room.
"Augh! Way to screw it up again!" David scolded himself as he slammed his head into his waffles.
Confessional:
David: I've never really had a girlfriend before, so I don't really know how girls think, generally. Congratulations, science. The role of my worst subject has been replaced. You're off the hook. ...Actually, a class about girls would be pretty cool.
Ernie and Erica hung out in the game room, this time with Ernie playing Mega Man.
"This game's probably a ton more fun if you can see," Erica remarked.
"You're not even blind," Ernie smirked.
"I am legally blind," Erica insisted. "I don't even have a driver's license."
"You could always, ya know, get glasses," Ernie suggested.
"Because I'm not freaky enough already," Erica scoffed.
"Hey, some guys find glasses hot," Ernie said.
"Are you one of those guys?" Erica snickered.
"So, how'd it go with Franklin in the backyard last night?" Ernie asked quickly.
"Oh, right. I think I may actually have convinced him to stick with us," Erica said. "I mean, between the two of us and the challenge threats, who's the smarter choice to take to the finale?"
"Not bad," Ernie complimented. "I don't see the goofs having the foresight to talk to him about that kind of stuff, so I think you may have just bought our way into the final three."
"What if the goofs win invincibility?" Erica asked.
"Then we take out the one who doesn't," Ernie answered. "If it's the final four, then we just, like, take out Franklin. We're still in the final three."
"Nice," Erica grinned.
"May the best of us win," Ernie said cockily.
"I'd prefer it if I won," Erica snickered.
Confessional:
Ernie: I'll be honest, I didn't, like, expect to make it this far. I mean, I'm smart, but it's a cutthroat game, and anyone can go at any time. And here I am, final five, just a few days away from winning a million dollars. Maybe it's luck. Maybe it's skill. Who knows? Who cares?
The five contestants gathered in the foyer at Hatchet's request.
"Good news, everyone!" Hatchet announced as he entered the room.
"Tch. Futurama," Erica giggled.
"Shut up, Erica," Hatchet said flatly. "As I was TRYIN' to say, in honor of y'all makin' the final five, today is a non-elimination round."
"Aw, nice," David beamed.
"So, do we, like, not have a challenge today then?" Ernie asked.
"Nope, y'all still have a challenge," Hatchet informed them. "And a reward is on the line."
"Coolio! What is it?" Mac asked curiously.
"Before I explain anythin', I'm gonna introduce to you your partners for the challenge," Hatchet said as he walked towards the Door of Shame. "David, your partner will be Carly." Hatchet opened the door.
"Weird. That's my mom's name," David remarked.
Just then, a mid-height Caucasian woman entered the house. She had bottom-length blonde hair and wore fashionable clothes.
"Mom?!" David gasped.
"Lloyd!" Carly exclaimed happily as she ran up to hug her son.
"Mooooooooom!" David whined. "I go by 'David' in this game," he muttered to her.
"Lloyd?" Ernie snickered.
"Yeah, David's my middle name," David confessed. "But shoot, who cares?! It's great to see you, mom!"
"I missed you so much," Carly told her son as they embraced.
"D'aw," Mac smiled.
Confessional:
David: My mom's pretty great. Most moms aren't cool with the whole heavy metal thing, apparently, but my mom thinks it's cool that I'm expressing myself. Never realized how much I missed her.
Carly: I'm so proud of Lloyd - oh, sorry, David - for making it this far. I always knew he could do it.
Ernie: I'm probably never going to stop calling him 'Lloyd'. (he snickers to himself)
"As you can see, we got various loved ones to help you in today's challenge," Hatchet explained to the contestants. "Ernie, we got your sister, Miley."
"Great," Ernie said dryly.
A Caucasian girl in her young teens with dyed-pink hair and an outfit that was entirely black and pink entered the house.
"Let's just get this overwith," Miley huffed.
"Great to see you too," Ernie remarked.
The two said nothing after that.
"You can tell they really love each other," Erica remarked.
"You should see us at home, staying up all night talking about deep thoughts," Ernie chuckled sarcastically.
"I'm only here because Mom and Dad were both busy," Miley grimaced. "So shut up so we can get this over with."
Confessional:
Ernie: Mom tells me Miley's just, ya know, going through a phase and that she'll be over it by the time she's, like, a sophomore. She's in eighth grade now, so hopefully Mom's wrong and the phase ends waaaaay sooner.
Miley: Something. There, I said something. Now let me out.
Erica: Heh. What a downer. How does anyone spend their time being so negative?
"Mac, we brought your friend and classmate Phoenix," Hatchet continued.
A black young man, roughly the same age as the contestants, entered the house. His dark brown hair was in dreadlocks and pulled back into a ponytail, and he wore glasses on his face.
"Hey, Phoe-Phoe, how's it going?" Mac beamed as he playfully punched his friend in the arm.
"I thought I asked everyone to stop calling me that," Phoenix sighed as he rubbed his arm.
"If you did, I totally forgot," Mac chuckled. "But hey, good to see ya."
"Good to be here, if only for an episode," Phoenix said. "Glad at least one of us could make it onto the show."
"Aw, I'm sure you'll make it next season," Mac assured his friend.
"Well, I'll keep sending in auditions until they accept me," Phoenix smirked as he adjusted his glasses.
Confessional:
Mac: Phoenix is a cool guy. He's the token... smart guy of the group. He's super logical and everything. It's kinda funny.
Phoenix: I'll admit, I'm a bit surprised to hear Mac's made it to the final five, but good for him regardless. I'll do everything I can to help him in this challenge.
"Erica, your partner will be your mother, Denise," Hatchet said.
A pale-skinned brunette woman with chin-length hair and a modest dress tentatively entered the house.
"Wow... this is quite a big house," Denise noticed.
Erica looked away as her mother walked into the foyer.
"Oh, Erica," Denise greeted. "Good to see you, honey."
"Whatever," Erica said rudely.
"Well... even if you aren't happy to see me, I'm happy to see you," Denise said softly.
"Good for you," Erica spat.
Denise gave a sad sigh as she walked away from Erica.
"Dang, her mom's kinda cute though," David remarked to Franklin.
"I won't disagree," Franklin nodded.
Confessional:
Erica: Yeah, because I wanted to see my mom today. That's just great. Can I drop out of the challenge so you can send her off?
Denise: I wish I knew why Erica seems so... distant from me. I love her, and I want to make her happy. What am I doing wrong?
Franklin: I'm curious as to who they could possibly send to assist me. Certainly not my parents. Maybe someone from the Plateau Coyotes.
"Franklin, you will be assisted by your cellmate, Jerome," Hatchet said.
"Aw, geez," Franklin grumbled.
A Caucasian young man with shaggy black hair and a short beard entered the house. Of note was that he wore a prison uniform.
"What up, niggas?" Jerome greeted.
"Excuse me?" Phoenix asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, shit!" Jerome gasped. "Uh, I brought a shiv! I'm not afraid to use it!"
"Of all the people..." Franklin sighed.
"Yo, One-Eye Frank!" Jerome beamed. "What up, brother? Did you tell these nig- uh, dudes what you're in for?"
"They didn't know I was in at all..." Franklin informed him angrily.
"Awwwwwww shyit!" Jerome shouted. "Did I just blow your cover, bro?"
"You blew my cover by being my cellmate," Franklin sighed.
"Just don't forget, you promised to pay my bail too when you win," Jerome reminded Franklin.
Franklin turned to the others, who were all speechless.
Confessional:
Franklin: Yes, I'm a convicted felon. No, I will not elaborate. This really shouldn't come as a surprise. I'm in a gang. We get caught sometimes.
Jerome: Yo, One-Eye straight-up living like a KING up in this bitch! I need a piece of this action!
Phoenix: ...I don't care for him.
"Alright, now that you're all here, it's time to explain the challenge," Hatchet said. "This challenge will consist of four parts. Loved ones, you will be helpin' the contestants in each part of the challenge. By which I mean y'all will be doin' the challenges while the contestants just watch."
"Ew. Work," Miley grimaced.
"The person who does the worst job in each part of the challenge will be eliminated from the challenge," Hatchet explained. "So the first part, all five of y'all will go. The second part will have four of y'all, and so on."
"Shyit! The stakes are high!" Jerome commented.
"The person who wins the last part of the challenge wins a fancy dinner date with their contestant," Hatchet continued.
"Sorry, Phoe-Phoe, but I got a girlfriend now, so we can only go as friends," Mac chuckled.
"We're both straight," Phoenix said.
"Any questions?" Hatchet asked.
"Can I drop out now?" Miley asked.
"NO!" Hatchet snapped. "Let's head off to the first part of the challenge!"
Confessional:
Carly: How exciting! Fancy dinner with my young man is just what I need. I'll do my best!
Miley: I'm going to kill my parents for making me do this.
Phoenix: My audition may have been turned down, but I get to compete in a challenge anyway. How fortunate. I'll take full advantage of this opportunity.
Denise: I wonder if Erica will talk to me if I win the challenge for us. That'd be nice...
Jerome: I don't think anyone's going home if we lose, but hell, I could go for some good food anyway. The food at the clink is terrible, so I'm'a try a hundred and seventy-three percent in this thang! Fo' reeeeeeeeeeeeealz!
The five loved ones sat at a table in the dining room, each with a short rectangular box in front of them.
"Your first challenge is a jigsaw puzzle!" Hatchet announced. "First four to finish will move on to the next part of the challenge!"
"Easy," Phoenix smirked as he adjusted his glasses.
"Ooh, fun," Carly beamed.
"And... GO!"
Carly, Phoenix, Denise, and Jerome all opened their boxes and dumped the puzzle pieces out.
"Uh, Miley. Anytime now," Ernie said impatiently.
"Eh. Nah," Miley said with a devilish grin.
"Seriously, Miley. What are you doing?" Ernie asked angrily.
"Throwing it," Miley said innocently.
"Why?" Ernie asked.
"Because I hate you," Miley snickered.
"Puzzles are, like, literally the only thing you do in your spare time!" Ernie shouted.
"Not true. I spend most of my time on Tumblr," Miley said. "In fact, I'd be on now if I weren't here, so it's your fault I'm not on Tumblr. Therefore, I'm going to throw it."
"Done!" Phoenix announced as he added the last piece to his puzzle.
Ernie fumed.
Confessional:
Ernie: It's all I can do to not punch her sometimes, I swear...
Denise: I guess it's for the best that Erica's an only child. If all siblings fight like this... my poor Erica's stressed enough as it is.
"Done!" Carly announced as she finished her puzzle.
"Rock on, Mom!" David cheered.
"Oh, um..." Carly paused to think. "Pressure! Pushing down on me, pushing down on you, no man ask for!" she sang.
"Uh... you know what, it's not metal, but I'll take it," David smiled.
"How you doing, Jerome?" Franklin asked his cellmate.
"Yo, this is kind of hard though," Jerome admitted. "Like, I legit don't understand how people do this for fun."
"Well, take your time. You're guaranteed to make it past this round," Franklin said. "Ernie's kid sister isn't trying, so you've got this."
"Rude," Ernie scowled.
"Truth," Franklin shrugged.
"Done," Denise said as she finished her puzzle. She looked to Erica, but Erica wasn't paying attention to what was going on. Denise frowned.
"Aw man, the pressure is real!" Jerome exclaimed.
"Pressure!" Carly sang.
"Put that piece over there," Miley said from behind Jerome.
"Uh, okay?" Jerome said as he followed her instruction. "Hey, it works! Thanks, brah!"
"I'm going to go hang myself in the attic," Ernie said as he left the room.
"It's about time!" Miley called to him as he left. "Now put that piece over there," she said to Jerome.
Confessional:
Carly: I think it's important to support my son in his interests. I don't care much for heavy metal, but I'm glad we can meet halfway with some of the stuff that was popular when I was his age.
Franklin: I almost wish Miley was my sister. She's proving to be a lot more helpful than Jerome is, I can tell you that much.
"Hey, only one piece left!" Jerome noticed as he added his last piece. "Done!"
"And with that, Ernie and Miley are out of the runnin' for the reward," Hatchet said.
"Can I go home now?" Miley asked.
"No! Be patient and wait for the challenge to end!" Hatchet snapped. "Now, let's head to the next part of the challenge!"
Miley huffed.
Everyone, minus Ernie and Miley, met up in the house's gym.
"A'ight, this part of the challenge is real simple!" Hatchet said. "The four loved ones will run on a treadmill. First three to run for a mile will move on to Part Three!"
"Easy shmeasy!" Jerome said as he punched into the palm of his hand.
"The treadmills will stop automatically after a mile," Hatchet explained. "There'll be no incline and y'all can change the speed to whatever ya want. Understood?"
"Understood!" Carly nodded. She set the speed to 6 mph and was promptly sent flying off the treadmill.
"Oh shoot! Mom! You okay?!" David gasped.
"I'll walk it off," Carly assured him. "Turns out 6 miles per hour is a lot faster than it sounds like."
"I didn't even say to go!" Hatchet snapped.
Carly got back onto her treadmill.
"And... GO!" Hatchet announced.
The four loved ones all set their treadmills to various speeds before turning their treadmills on. Jerome went for a quick speed instantly, Denise went for a more medium speed, while Phoenix and Carly both went for slower speeds.
"Think you can keep up?" Franklin asked Jerome.
"Hellz yeah! I'm super fast. Just ask your mom," Jerome smirked.
"Okay, one, I'd rather not have anything to do with that woman again, remember?" Franklin reminded him. "Two, being fast in bed is a bad thing."
"It is?" Jerome asked.
"You don't want to finish too quickly, dude," David added.
"Stay out of this," Franklin said flatly.
"Oh, shyit, is that what it means?!" Jerome gasped. "I thought it meant, like tempo-wise. Like, going in and out real fast."
"That does make sense," David said with a contemplative nod.
"Both of you stop it," Franklin said in annoyance.
Confessional:
David: If Jerome wins the challenge, I wonder if I'd be allowed to go to dinner instead of Franklin. Franklin's a stick in the mud. He probably wouldn't even like it.
Jerome: One-Eye's got some cool friends up in here. Stay in the clink for as long as I have, it gets boring seeing the same people erryday.
"Done!" Jerome announced.
Denise glanced at Erica, whose bored expression never changed. She increased the speed of the treadmill.
Mac, meanwhile, approached Phoenix, who had not changed his slow speed.
"Uh, dude, you might wanna pick it up," Mac urged. "Franklin's guy is already moving on. We don't wanna risk losing."
"Slow and steady wins the race," Phoenix assured his friend. "I'd rather not risk exhausting myself too quickly. Besides, the nice blonde lady doesn't seem to be doing too well herself."
Phoenix gestured to Carly, who had a barely noticeable limp as she jogged.
"Uh, she's still going faster than you," Mac said. "Pick it up!"
Mac increased the speed on Phoenix's treadmill.
"Whoa! What are you doing?!" Phoenix cried.
"Feel the burn! Heeheehahaha!" Mac cackled.
"Mac! No messin' with your friend's treadmill!" Hatchet scolded.
"Sorry," Mac said unconvincingly.
Confessional:
Phoenix: Mac means well... probably... but he needs to understand that not everyone has the same limits he does. I really must wonder how he hasn't been voted out yet.
Erica: I have no opinion of what's been going on. As long as my mom doesn't win, I really don't care what happens today.
"I am finished," Denise panted as her treadmill stopped.
"Denise will join Jerome in Round Three!" Hatchet announced.
"Ugh..." Erica groaned.
Denise looked to the floor, a hurt expression on her face.
"You doing alright, mom?" David asked Carly.
"Oh, I'm fine," Carly assured him. "I've gone through much worse than that spill before, believe me. Remember that time I fell down the stairs?"
"Aw, that was brutal," David recalled.
"You were so worried. You wouldn't let me near the stairs for a week after that," Carly chuckled.
"Moooooooom," David whined.
"Don't be embarrassed," Carly smiled. "Girls like a man who cares about his mother."
"Mooooooooooooooooom," David blushed.
Just then, Carly's treadmill stopped.
"Oh, how about that?" Carly said. "Has it been a mile already?"
"Nice," David grinned.
"Carly will join Jerome and Denise in Round Three!" Hatchet announced. "Phoenix, you and Mac are out of the runnin' for reward."
"Physical challenges aren't my strong suit, it seems," Phoenix admitted.
Confessional:
Mac: Eh, it's whatever. I'm still in the game, aren't I? Heeheehahaha!
Jerome: Does this mean I can call people 'niggas' again? Ah, screw it, I'm doing it anyway!
Hatchet plus the remaining contestants and loved ones all met in the kitchen.
"It's time for Round Three!" Hatchet announced. "This part of the challenge requires you to fix me one course, so by the end, the three of y'all will have done a three-course meal for me. Carly will do an appetizer, Jerome will do the main course, and Denise will do dessert. Y'all have fifteen minutes. Whoever made the worst course is eliminated from the challenge. Any questions?"
"Yeah, can we get this started, nigga?" Jerome asked.
"What did you call me?" Hatchet asked in a dark, threatening tone.
"...Oh shyit!" Jerome realized. "I only called you that because I'm color-blind, I swear! It didn't even register to me that you were black!"
"Jerome. Kindly shut your face," Franklin said calmly.
"Will do!" Jerome exclaimed.
Confessional:
Franklin: You can imagine it's all I can do to keep him from getting his ass kicked every day. Sometimes I don't help. Sometimes he pretty much deserves it.
Denise: I'm lucky to have been assigned dessert... I was going to make chocolate lava cake. It's Erica's favorite. I hope Mr. Hatchet will let her have some. Maybe it'll cheer her up.
The challenge had started, and Carly grabbed a number of burger ingredients.
"Aw, are you making your sliders?" David asked. "Niiiiiice!"
"They're world-famous for a reason," Carly said.
"I didn't know the world was only as big as our neighborhood," David joked.
"Not true," Carly said. "I put the recipe on Pinterest. Now moms the world over are serving my world-famous sliders to their kids."
"Always a giver," David grinned.
"I'm a mom. Selflessness is in the job description," Carly said.
"Tell that to Franklin's mom," David said. "Apparently she's pretty much neglected him all his life."
"That's child abuse," Carly frowned.
"And that's not to mention his father," David said awkwardly. "I hear he's an alcoholic."
"Well that's just unacceptable," Carly pouted. "It's no wonder your friend ended up in prison. Children need parents who love and support them."
"I'm no child you know," David said. "I'm 18. Legally an adult."
"I know. But you're never too old to receive love from your parents," Carly beamed.
"If you insist," David said with an embarrassed chuckle.
Confessional:
David: I guess I never really stopped to think about how awesome my mom is. I wonder how Franklin feels seeing me and my mom. I hope he doesn't take it badly.
Carly: I still think one should need a license to be a parent. Children who are raised without love and proper support often grow up to be criminals.
Jerome, meanwhile had several cans of chili con carne and a large bowl.
"That's a lot of chili," Franklin noted. "You'd think after eating it for so long, you'd be tired of the stuff."
"Au contraire, mon cheri," Jerome said.
"You do know what 'mon cheri' means, ri-?" Franklin started.
"Having all that chili in the clink means I know it inside and out," Jerome boasted. "I'm gonna make some bomb-ass chili. Literally."
"I don't think I want to know what literal 'bomb-ass chili' would be like, but it doesn't sound like something you could bring on an airplane," Franklin said, bemused.
Jerome grabbed three bottles of hot sauce and dumped the contents into his large bowl full of chili.
"This is where the 'bomb-ass' comes from," Jerome said. "Chili is best enjoyed spicy, and trust me when I say this is gonna be spicy!"
"You're going to hospitalize Hatchet!" Franklin snapped as he slapped the bottles out of Jerome's hand, causing them to shatter on the floor.
"See, now that's just a waste of good hot sauce," Jerome said, disappointed. "What is wrong with you?"
"I'd hate to live in a world where I'm the one between us who has something wrong with him," Franklin quipped. "At least taste the chili to make sure it's alright to eat."
"Hahaha. Nice try," Jerome chortled. "I don't trust myself to try this. If I take one taste, I'll want more and more, and by the end, I'll have eaten the whole thing."
"Okay, I won't deny that possibility," Franklin admitted. "And I don't think I'm allowed to taste it either. Guess all I can do is pray for a miracle."
"You never struck me as the religious type," Jerome noted.
"It's a figure of speech. If there was a God, He wouldn't have stuck me with you," Franklin said dryly.
"Ah, you worry too much," Jerome said as he casually slapped Franklin on the back. "We got this, nigga."
Franklin looked at the camera with a resigned look of defeat.
Confessional:
Jerome: Ah, Franklin's a good guy deep down.
Franklin: Do you suppose it would count as self-defense if I murdered Jerome? Self-defense for my own sanity? Until I can find out for sure, I'll let him live.
Denise mixed the batter for her chocolate lava cake in a bowl.
"Sweetie... I'm making chocolate lava cake. Do you want to taste the batter before I bake it?" Denise asked sweetly.
"I don't care," Erica said grumpily.
"Oh... okay," Denise said dejectedly.
Confessional:
Erica: My mom thinks she can buy my love with cake? How pathetic.
Denise: I just want my little girl to be happy... Why is that so hard?
Time was up, and Hatchet sat in the dining room expectantly.
"A'ight! Carly! Get in here!" Hatchet ordered.
Carly entered the dining room with a platter of sliders.
"Enjoy," she said with a smile.
Hatchet took one of the tiny cheeseburgers and took a bite.
"Mmmm! That's really good!" Hatchet said, impressed. "I have a feelin' you'll end up in the next round."
"How kind of you to say," Carly said as she put her hand over her heart.
Confessional:
Carly: Carly Kendall saves the day once again!
Once Hatchet had finished up the sliders, he took a drink of water to cleanse his palate.
"Alright!" Hatchet said. "Jerome! Get in here!"
Jerome entered the room, his bowl of "bomb-ass chili" in hand.
"Bone appetite!" Jerome grinned.
"Never move to France," Hatchet remarked as he took a spoonful of chili and ate it.
Jerome looked at Hatchet expectantly.
Hatchet's face turned bright red.
"That's what I thought," Jerome said as he cockily folded his arms.
"Hot! Hot! HOT!" Hatchet shouted. He ran into the kitchen, took a carton of milk from the fridge, and drank straight out of it.
"I don't think that's sanitary..." Denise warned him softly.
Hatchet marched back into the dining room.
"I've had vindaloo that wasn't that spicy!" Hatchet roared.
"I know. It's awesome, right?" Jerome chuckled.
"Boy! Were you tryin' ta kill me?!" Hatchet snapped.
"Well, I was convicted for murder," Jerome said. "But that one was accidental, so no, I don't think I was trying to kill you."
"You'd better hope Denise sucked major ass!"
"Mreow," Jerome purred. "I like that mental image."
"Denise!" Hatchet called.
Confessional:
Jerome: True artists are never appreciated in their time. I'm sure one day the Cordon Bleu will accept my descendants as culinary masters.
Denise entered the room with a bowl of chocolate cake batter.
"What is this? Pudding?" Hatchet asked.
"...Yes," Denise lied.
Hatchet took a taste.
"What kind of fool do you take me for?" Hatchet asked. "This is clearly cake batter!"
"Oh, well, you see... I figured if cookie dough was so beloved, maybe cake batter... I'm sorry. There's really no excuse for my failure," Denise sighed.
"Everyone! Get yourselves in here!" Hatchet called. "It's time for results!"
Confessional:
Denise: I knew I wouldn't have time to bake the batter... but I'd hoped Erica would appreciate the gesture. (she fights back tears) I'm a failure as a mother.
Carly, Jerome, David, Franklin, and Erica all entered the dining room.
"Alright, I can confirm that Carly's sliders were the best part of the meal, and as such, she will be movin' on to the final round!" Hatchet announced.
"Oh yay!" Carly cheered.
"Nice job, mom," David complimented.
"As for the rest of y'all..." Hatchet said. "Jerome's was awful, but at least he finished it. Denise didn't even bother to finish hers."
"Don't worry about it, mom," Erica sneered. "I didn't want to go to dinner with you anyway."
"With that said..." Hatchet said. "Denise's dessert tasted great! I see a future with cake batter as a standalone dessert."
"R-Really?" Denise asked happily.
"Denise, you're movin' on with Carly to the final round!" Hatchet announced.
"Sweet! MILF fight!" Jerome cheered.
"Jerome, you're out of the challenge. Go away," Hatchet said.
"Shyit!" Jerome gasped.
Confessional:
Franklin: I look forward to winning this game so I don't have to see that guy ever again.
Denise: I still have a chance! I-I can prove to Erica how much she means to me! ...I hope.
Carly, David, Denise, Erica, and Hatchet were all at the Playground of Pain, which was entirely wood bark. Erica and David were each in a cage in the center of the playground.
"Alright, time for the last part of the challenge," Hatchet said. "The winners of this part will win the reward!"
"I can do this," Denise told herself.
"May the best mom win," Carly said cordially to Denise.
"I'd prefer it if I won..." Denise murmured.
"Here's how it'll be," Hatchet said. "Your children are locked in cages which require three keys each to open. The keys are hidden under the bark. All the keys are exactly the same, so we can get this done quickly."
"Easy," Carly grinned.
"First mom to free her kid wins reward!" Hatchet said. "Got it?"
Both ladies nodded.
"Then... GO!" Hatchet ordered.
Confessional:
Carly: I'd do anything for Lloyd. Within reason, of course. And this challenge is well within reason.
Erica: Only a matter of time before someone caged me like the animal I am. Tch.
Carly and Denise both began to dig into the bark with their hands in search of keys.
"Go, Mom!" David cheered. "You're going down," he remarked to Erica.
"Good," Erica said.
"Wait, what?" David asked.
"I don't want to win," Erica said. "I don't want to spend any more time with my mom than is necessary."
"There's never a necessary amount of time to spend with your mom," David said. "No amount of time is too much."
"Clearly you don't know my mom," Erica remarked.
"Yeah, I do," David said. "She's right there. She's lovely."
Just then, Denise put a key in Erica's lock.
"Ew. Are you hitting on my mom?" Erica asked loudly in disgust.
"What? No! Who said that?" David said in denial. "I just think she's really cute. In a snuggly kind of way."
Denise blushed as she left to search for more keys.
"You want to snuggle with my mother?" Erica asked. "You really are disgusting."
"Mooooom! Erica's picking on me!" David whined as Carly approached and put her first key in David's lock.
"Get along, you two," Carly scolded.
Confessional:
Erica: I'm convinced David has some deep issues regarding mother figures. Kinda like Buster from Arrested Development, if that helps.
Carly and Denise searched in spots nearby from each other.
"Carly, was it?" Denise asked.
"That's right," Carly nodded.
"Denise," Denise introduced herself. "May I ask a question?"
"Shoot," Carly complied.
"How do you get your son to love and appreciate you so much?" Denise asked.
"By showing him love and appreciation first," Carly said.
"I try that with Erica," Denise frowned. "But she refuses to accept it."
"Well, each kid is different," Carly said. "How old is your daughter, if I may ask?"
"Sixteen," Denise answered.
"Ah," Carly said with a knowing nod. "She's still in that 'I hate everything' phase, isn't she?"
"Well, she's been in that phase for a while, but..." Denise said.
"Lloyd was like that for quite a while himself," Carly assured her. "Once he turned 18, it was like magic. He suddenly began to realize all I've done for him. And let me tell you, that feeling is like no other."
"I wish I could feel that," Denise admitted.
"Give it time," Carly said supportively. "Until then..." she flashed a key she had just dug up. "Good luck."
Confessional:
Denise: So, I should give Erica space until she's eighteen? No, that's not what Carly said. This is so confusing.
Denise had since found her second key and placed it in Erica's lock. Both mothers only had one key left for the win.
"You can do it, mom!" David cheered.
"You can do it, Denise," Denise told herself.
"I wonder what's on TV tonight," Hatchet thought aloud.
"Aha! Found it!" Carly shouted as she held her key aloft.
"M-Me too!" Denise smiled as she did the same.
Both mothers made a run for the cages. Soon, one of them inserted the third key and managed to free their child.
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"Congratulations, David and Carly!" Hatchet called. "Y'all have won reward!"
"Woohoo!" David cheered as he embraced his mother. "Nice job, mom."
"I wasn't about to lose a nice dinner with my son," Carly smiled.
Denise fell to her knees and began to cry.
"Oh geez. Way to be melodramatic," Erica scoffed.
"Hey, she really wanted to spend some time with you," Carly told Erica. "Be a little more appreciative."
"Why should I? She's done the unforgivable," Erica insisted.
"What did I do?" Denise sobbed.
"You brought me into this world," Erica answered. "Not only did you subject one more person to live on such a terrible planet, but that person also happens to be just as awful as her father, both physically and as a person."
"Erica..." Denise sniffled. "Your father leaving us was hard on me too... harder than you can even imagine."
"Oh whatever," Erica scoffed.
"I think I'm starting to understand," Denise said. "You feel abandoned, don't you? You feel like your dad doesn't love you."
"He doesn't," Erica said. "He never did. I'm an abomination, just like he is. I'm a living reminder that he's cursed with this awful affliction. That's why he walked out on us when I was only a few months old. He couldn't bear to be around me any longer than that. And why the hell should he? Look at me!"
"Oh, honey..." Denise opened Erica's cage and gave her a hug. "You are a beautiful young woman. The color of your skin, your hair, your eyes... that doesn't change that."
"You would think so..." Erica said with a sniffle. "You hooked up with Dad, didn't you?"
"His condition played no part in it," Denise said. "I married him because he was a smart, funny, kind man... or so I thought. Then he cheated on me. That's why he left. He found someone else."
"Heh." Erica sniffled again. "Guess I'm not the least desirable one between us."
"This is what I've been trying to tell you for years," Denise said, starting to choke up a bit herself. "I love you so very much. You may carry your father's genes, but I carried you for nine months and brought you into this world. You are my sweet, beautiful daughter, and I love you dearly, and nothing can change that."
"Sh-Shut up, mom," Erica said, tears starting to creep down her face. "You're embarrassing me."
Denise held her daughter tighter as the two began to cry.
"I'm so sorry!" Erica sobbed. "I've been a terrible daughter!"
"No, you haven't," Denise assured her. "You're just growing up, isolated and confused. I promise to involve myself more in your life. Is that alright?"
"P-Please!" Erica begged.
David and Carly shared a glance and nodded before approaching Erica and Denise.
"We'd like to give up our reward," David said.
"Yes. I feel like these two could use it more," Carly agreed. "Assuming that's alright with you," she said to Hatchet.
"Eh, why not?" Hatchet shrugged. "Not because I'm emotional! Just because... there's, uh, no reason not to."
"Hatchet, you big softie," David chuckled.
"Don't you dare push me, boy," Hatchet warned.
"Got it," David responded.
Confessional:
Denise: I feel like a load and a half has been lifted from my shoulders. What a day.
Erica: Tch. I guess I can humor my mom and go for dinner with her. It's whatever. (she gives a genuine smile)
Carly: It really is better to give than to receive. Even if I don't get to spend time with Lloyd, I still feel amazing.
David: So, Denise is single? Heh. Maybe I can become Erica's stepfather sometime. Heheheh. (he pauses) Wow. I might be a terrible person.
Hatchet, the five contestants, and the five loved ones all gathered in the foyer.
"Alright, here's how it is!" Hatchet said. "Erica and Denise ended up with the reward, so the Bus of Horrors will take y'all to Bistro Hatchet in a couple minutes."
"Well color me surprised," Phoenix remarked.
"The rest of the loved ones will have to go back home," Hatchet continued. "So say your goodbyes now."
Miley kicked Ernie in the shin.
"Um, ow!" Ernie grunted. "The hell was that for?"
"For that very reaction," Miley said smugly. "Later, loser."
Confessional:
Ernie: I will not miss her. (he scratches his head)
"Well, I'll be going for now, but you can expect me to be in the next season. For twenty-six episodes," Phoenix said to Mac.
"Someone's confident," Mac grinned.
"I like to think I've come up with a good strategy," Phoenix said as he adjusted his glasses. "What that strategy is... I won't reveal until I'm on the show."
"Crafty," Mac chuckled.
Confessional:
Mac: It was cool seeing Phoenix again. Haven't seen him since school got out. That's the problem with school friends. Ah well.
"A'ight, One-Eye Frank. You'd best win this game if you know what's good for you," Jerome told Franklin.
"You think I don't know that?" Franklin asked rhetorically. "Though make no mistake: if I win, I won't be winning for you. I'll be winning for myself."
"Hey! You'll still pay my bail, right?" Jerome pleaded.
"Maybe. Maybe not," Franklin smirked.
"Shyit, dude! Don't be doing this to me!" Jerome said as he held his head.
"Goodbye," Franklin said with a wave.
Confessional:
Franklin: Eh, I probably won't pay his bail. The world doesn't need any more of him than it just got today.
"I think we did the right thing today," Carly said to David.
"Eh, morality is subjective," David said. "But hey, great to see you again. I really missed you."
"Likewise, Lloyd," Carly smiled.
"Moooooooooom!" David whined.
"Just messing with you," Carly giggled. "See you later. And good luck!"
"Thanks, mom," David said as he hugged his mother.
Confessional:
David: All in all, I've had much worse days.
After Miley, Phoenix, Jerome, and Carly left the house, Hatchet turned to the contestants.
"Erica, since y'all won reward, pick one person to join you in first class," Hatchet said.
"Well I guess it would have to be David," Erica said.
Ernie raised an eyebrow suspiciously.
"Alright. Now pick one person to sleep outside," Hatchet instructed.
"I dunno. Franklin," Erica shrugged.
"Ernie and Mac, y'all will be sleepin' in the basement tonight," Hatchet said. He turned to Erica. "Alright. Y'all two get in the Bus of Horrors. I'll be with ya shortly."
"Thanks again for this opportunity, David," Denise said with a sweet smile.
"Duhh... guhh... what?" David said dumbly, his face flushed.
The mother and daughter duo left the house.
"The rest of y'all, I got nothin' for ya. Do as you please," Hatchet said as he followed the two females outside.
Confessional:
Ernie: I should have realized Erica might be, ya know, mad for me sending her outside last night, but then why didn't she send me tonight? Eh, whatever. Probably not worth worrying about.
Franklin: I'm not surprised Erica would send me outside, but I am surprised Erica chose David to join her in first class over Ernie. Something's up, and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.
"There may not have been an elimination tonight, but that don't mean nothin' happened - far from it," Hatchet said as he drove the Bus of Horrors. "How will what went down today affect the game? You'll hafta find out next time, on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Votes:
None
A/N: No elimination tonight, but this is the last non-elimination episode of the season. Only four episodes left, and the drama can only continue. Stay tuned. :)