A/N: Hard to believe we'll be down to four after this, but yeah. That's the case. This season's been super fun to write, and I hope you guys have enjoyed reading it as well. That said, Episode 23. The first episode with an official soundtrack!
"Last time on Total Drama House Party..." Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "In honor of the final five, we had ourselves a reward challenge. On top of that, each of our contestants had a visitor from home to compete in the challenge. Some of them, like Ernie's sister and Franklin's cellmate, proved to be less than useful, while others, like David's mom, proved to be Isurprisin'ly effective. Outside of the challenge, Franklin found himself in the middle of the Ernie/Erica and David/Mac alliances, weighin' the pros and cons of pickin' each side. David and his mom ended up winnin' the challenge, but after an emotional moment between Erica and her mother, the mother/son duo decided to give the reward up to mother/daughter duo, sendin' them out for a fancy dinner together. Tonight, the bloodshed continues, and we'll be down to four by the time the episode's over. Which side will Franklin pick? How's Erica gonna act after rekindlin' with her mom? Will Mac be able to curb his violent tendencies? Find out ya fool! Only on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
David and Erica went to their first place rooms.
"So, uh, how was dinner with your mom?" David asked.
"It was nice," Erica admitted. "The food was really good. It was still a bit awkward talking to my mom. Especially since she wouldn't stop talking about you."
"Er... what?" David asked, blushing.
"Seriously, she kept going on and on about how you're such a nice guy and really handsome and that I should ask you out or something," Erica scoffed. "If I didn't know better, I'd say she had a crush on you."
"Y-You don't say?" David chuckled.
"Yeah, but that's irrelevant," Erica said dismissively. "What you did yesterday meant a lot to me. So I'm going to give you an alliance offer. You don't have to align with Ernie, and I don't have to align with Mac. Consider it more of a pact to not vote for each other unless we absolutely have to. Meaning that Ernie and I won't target you before Mac as long as you and Mac don't target me before Ernie. Sound good?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess so," David said.
"You guess so?" Erica asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I know so," David decided. "You've got yourself a deal."
"Nice doing business with you," Erica nodded.
Confessional:
Erica: Am I throwing Ernie under the bus for my own safety? Probably. But if David trusts me, that'll just make it that much more likely that I make the finale. Let's face it, Ernie's a target, so if he leaves, I'm going to need some kind of connection.
David: On one hand, more allies is always a good thing. On the other... I kinda have a crush on Erica's mom. If Erica finds out, she's probably going to break my fingers one by one, which is only cool in songs, not in real life. ...So do you guys think Denise likes me back? Can I call her Denise? I never really spoke to her one-on-one. I'd really like to, though. (he blushes)
Mac and Ernie went down to the basement.
"Welp, looks like you're stuck with me again," Mac chuckled.
"I'm glad you have an awareness of the situation," Ernie said caustically. "I was afraid I'd offend you by finding you annoying."
"Aw, you don't have to worry about that," Mac said as he put his arm around Ernie's neck and gave him a noogie. "I don't offend that easily. Getting offended just makes things worse for everyone, doesn't it?"
"Please let go of me," Ernie said through his teeth.
Mac let go of Ernie, causing him to fall to the floor.
"So, who do you think's going home tomorrow?" Mac asked.
"With any luck, it'll be you," Ernie snorted.
"Yeah, bad luck," Mac chuckled.
"Thankfully for me, I haven't had much bad luck throughout this game," Ernie smirked. "But hey, fifth place isn't that bad, ya know? Be proud."
"If you say so," Mac shrugged, his grin never faltering.
Confessional:
Ernie: Yeah, I was probably a bit short with him, but after having to deal with Miley, you would be too, ya know? I can't wait to, like, move out and go to college so I never have to see her again.
Mac: Ernie probably just needs a hug. Heeheehahaha!
Franklin sat alone in the backyard on one of the lawn chairs.
"Let's see... I'm confident I could beat Mac, Ernie, or Erica in a physical challenge, but David I'm iffy on..." Franklin thought aloud. "Ernie's a mental threat, so I should be going for him first, but if I do, Erica likely won't want to vote with me after he's gone."
Franklin tapped his chin thoughtfully.
"Ah, what am I saying? What choice would she have?" Franklin said. "Then again, David and Mac have better challenge records than I do, so I should also consider taking one of them out as well before they win the rest of the invincibilities and I probably end up going home. But if I help them take out Ernie, maybe they'll give me a shot to make it to the final three and get rid of Erica."
Franklin yawned.
"But then I run the risk of David winning invincibility in the final three. So I'd pretty much be screwed since there's no way David's going to vote for Mac," Franklin continued. "Aw, I'm tired. I'll think about this in the morning.
Confessional:
Franklin: I like to think I'm past my grudge towards everyone who voted for Bailey - because let's face it, that's pretty much everyone left other than me. No sense in distancing myself from everybody. If I want to win this game and pay for my release from prison, I need to consider every option. Who's the best option to cut tonight and who should be saved for later? And will tonight's Invincibility mess everything up? ...Haha. I've made it this far. I am not screwing it up now!
David entered the mess hall.
"Gotta love that first class breakfast," he smiled to himself as he took a seat at one of the tables.
Yolonda entered the room and wordlessly left a microwaved burrito at David's place.
"Hey, Yolonda! This is for second place!" David called.
Yolonda gave no response as she entered the kitchen.
David got up and followed her into the kitchen.
"Yolonda!" David called.
"You're not allowed in here," Yolonda said simply as she began fixing omelettes.
"Are you still mad at me for whatever it was you were mad at me for?" David asked.
"No. I'm mad at you for something else now," Yolonda responded, not bothering to look at David.
"Well, I don't care what it is at this point, you still have to give me first place breakfast," David said. "It's the rule."
"Well I'm pretty sure it's against the rules to date your friend's mom," Yolonda said venomously.
"Okay, wow," David said in disgust. "First of all, Erica's not my friend. Second of all, I'm not dating Denise. I just like her. Third of all, I'm eighteen, so it's not against any rules. Fourth, that's none of your business, Confessional-Peeker. And fifth of all, who cares if I like her? You should still do your job."
"I didn't even spit on that burrito, so you should be thankful," Yolonda scowled.
"Real mature, Yolonda," David said with a shake of his head. "So, how's investigating your uncle's room going? I've been curious to know."
"No progress. Also none of your business," Yolonda said dismissively.
"Alrighty then," David said as he left the kitchen.
Confessional:
David: I mean, yeah, I guess I led her on kind of, but she's the one who suddenly decided I was a terrible person. I figured after that point I didn't really hold any obligation to keep pursuing her.
Yolonda: Urggggggggggggh! How can anyone be this stupid?!
After David had left, Mac and Franklin both entered the dining room at the exact same time. They chose to sat at the same table.
"So... have you thought about it?" Mac asked with a grin. "Our final three deal?"
"I won't lie. I'm still on the fence," Franklin admitted. "I want to approach this round from every possible angle, and until someone wins Invincibility, I can't come to a set-in-stone decision."
"Eh, that's fine. Take your time," Mac shrugged. "So, what's the deal with you and Bailey? I've always been curious."
"Bailey is an innocent, pure angel and my best friend," Franklin said.
"So you like her, huh?" Mac teased. "I mean, David's my best friend, but I wouldn't call him an innocent pure angel or anything."
"I won't deny that I find her very attractive," Franklin answered.
"I think she likes you, too," Mac chuckled. "You should ask her out!"
"Absolutely not," Franklin said.
"Aw, come on," Mac whined. "I always thought you two would be super cute together."
"I'm a prisoner, Mac," Franklin said bluntly. "A prisoner who's involved with a gang and whose parents... aren't exactly parents of the year. I refuse to get her wrapped up in all that."
"Aw, she won't mind," Mac said dismissively. "Who cares if you're so different? If anything, you guys complete each other... or something."
"Is that how it is with you and Sonam?" Franklin asked.
"She goes by 'Spankety' again," Mac corrected. "As for me and Spankety... it's complicated, but I think we do challenge the other to be a better person."
"Still, I don't want Bailey to be put in any danger," Franklin said. "She still doesn't know everything about me and my past. If she knew, she'd want nothing to do with me."
"You need to give yourself some more credit, dude," Mac said.
"This conversation is going nowhere," Franklin said as he finished his breakfast. "I'm going to the balcony to relax."
"Have fun!" Mac called as he continued to eat his breakfast.
Confessional:
Franklin: Idealistic people like Mac wouldn't survive a day in my shoes. And anyone who does survive a day in my shoes wouldn't have any idealism left.
Mac: Franklin needs to be more positive sometimes, you know? It's like that Monty Python song goes: Always look on the bright side of life (he whistles) ...Man, that's a catchy song. It'll probably be stuck in my head all day now. Shoot.
Ernie and Erica sat in the game room, playing multiplayer Tetris.
"So, like, if you won, what would you spend your money on?" Ernie asked.
"I don't know," Erica said. I've considered a tanning booth, hair dye, and colored contacts, but I probably couldn't pull that look off."
"Plus, ya know, tanning booths would probably kill you," Ernie added.
"Spray tans?" Erica asked.
"Eh, true," Ernie conceded. "I thought you meant, like, the kind that radiate all over you."
"What about you?" Erica asked.
"Probably college or something," Ernie shrugged. "There's not a whole lot I feel like I really need. Maybe some video games or something as they come out or some snacks or something if I'm hungry."
"So basically you don't need the money?" Erica sneered. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."
"Oh please," Ernie scoffed playfully. "You need me in this game and you know it."
"I only need you until the final three," Erica said. "Then I could vote you out and take someone else to the finale with me."
"Like whom? David?" Ernie chuckled. "Face it: if it's a physical challenge, I'm the only one you have a chance of beating."
"But if it's a mental challenge, I'd be unstoppable if you didn't make it," Erica retorted.
"Whatever," Ernie smirked as he rolled his eyes. "Soon as we, ya know, reach the final two, then we'll see who has the last laugh."
"Yes we will," Erica snickered.
Confessional:
Erica: Ernie's convinced he's got this game won. I won't deny that his chances look excellent, but anything can happen in Total Drama. For his own good, he shouldn't get cocky.
Ernie: I wouldn't say I'm "cocky" per se. Just, ya know, confident based on the facts. Franklin's best move is to vote with me and Erica to take out a physical threat, then we take out another one the next round, and, if possible, the third and final physical threat in the round after. I know Franklin isn't stupid, so he's going to side with Erica and me. I'm guaranteed final three at least. Why shouldn't I be confident?
The five contestants went to the foyer at Hatchet's request.
"Alright, final five, listen up and listen good!" Hatchet ordered. "Apparently someone didn't read the fine print when signing the contract to make this season and we were supposed ta be singin' this whole season like in World Tour."
"Well thank God that didn't happen," Erica remarked.
"Let me finish," Hatchet said. "Thanks to some top-notch lawyers, we managed to twist it so y'all only hafta sing in one episode. And this will be that episode."
"Cool!" Mac grinned.
"So here's how it's gonna work," Hatchet continued. "Each of y'all have half an hour to figure out a list of songs you'd want to sing." As Hatchet said this, he handed each contestant a pencil and paper. "We'll go over your lists and pick a song for you to sing. Then, y'all are gonna sing 'em! You'll be judged by myself, Yolonda, and our eliminated contestant and lover of music, Jilly!"
As Hatchet said this, the Door of Shame opened and Jilly walked in.
"Yo! WHADDUP PARTY PEOPLE!" Jilly greeted.
"Great," Ernie scowled.
"Time starts now, maggots! Move move move!" Hatchet shouted.
Confessional:
Ernie: I got rid of Jilly for a reason, ya know. That reason being, like, she's loud and annoying. And now she's back. Great.
Franklin: I have very vague memories of this girl. Mostly because she left early and was on another team. I guess that means no bias towards me from her. (he shrugs)
Jilly: Heh. Not even elimination can keep me from that screentime. This episode just makes it that much easier for me to come back for an All-Stars season! It could happen.
The contestants each took time to write out their song picks in the foyer.
"So, how many songs do you have?" Mac asked Franklin, who sat close by.
"A sizable number," Franklin answered.
"Cool. I've only got one. It's the only song that comes to mind," Mac said.
"How many songs do you know?" Franklin asked with a raised eyebrow.
"More than one. But I can't remember the rest of them right now," Mac chuckled.
"...Okay then," Franklin said.
"I wonder who has the most songs," Mac thought aloud.
"Probably David," Franklin said. "Being a musician and all."
"I have thirty-seven and counting right now," David said. His eyes then lit up. "No. Wait. Thirty-eight." He wrote another song on his paper.
"You know they're only, like, picking one, right?" Ernie pointed out. "That's why I, ya know, stopped after, like seven."
"Only seven?" Erica asked.
"Well, that, plus it's not easy finding songs that are in my range," Ernie said. "The curse of being a bass."
"You could sing 'All About That Bass'," David chuckled.
"You could shut up," Ernie responded.
Confessional:
Mac: At least the song I want is the one they're going to choose. Not like they have a choice. Heeheehahaha!
Erica: It hadn't even occurred to me to pick songs in my range. Shoot. Hopefully Hatchet doesn't pick one of the many male-sung songs I put on my list.
David: I'd briefly considered singing "Stacy's Mom" and replacing the lyric to "Erica's Mom", but I figured that might not go over so well. Plus, it totally throws off the rhythm.
After the contestants came up with their songs, gave their lists to Hatchet, and had their lists looked over, Hatchet met with them all in the foyer.
"Alright, we've gone over your lists and have chosen a song for each of you to sing," Hatchet said. "We'll start with Mac since he only had one choice... 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' from Monty Pyton's Life of Brian."
"It got stuck in my head," Mac shrugged.
"Now, Ernie had the second-shortest list, we'll do him next," Hatchet said. "Ernie, your song will by 'Lullaby' by Shawn Mullins. Have fun figuring out falsetto."
"Eh, works for me," Ernie said.
"Erica, your song will be 'Blurry' by Puddle of Mudd," Hatchet continued.
"Tch. Figures you'd pick a song sung by a guy," Erica griped.
"David, your list was too long for us to research 'em all, so we just picked the first song we recognized," Hatchet said. "That song being Metallica's 'Enter Sandman'."
"I'm more than okay with that," David grinned.
"I think you skipped me," Franklin said.
"Oh, no, we didn't," Hatchet snickered. "Franklin, we looked up the lyrics to your picks, and, well, none of them are appropriate with this show's age rating."
"When you live in the environment I do, you don't spend your time listening to bubblegum pop," Franklin said with a glare.
"So we decided to pick a song for you," Hatchet chuckled. "It's called 'Happy Happy Joy Joy' from The Ren and Stimpy Show."
"...I hate you," Franklin said, holding back his rage.
"I know. Ahyehyehye!" Hatchet guffawed.
Just then, Yolonda entered the room and handed pieces of paper and MP3 players to each of the contestants, minus David.
"Yolonda is handing you lyric sheets and music players with your song on them," Hatchet explained.
"Uh, I didn't get one," David said as he raised his hand.
"Yeah, we watched your alone time in the basement the other night," Hatchet said. "You don't need them."
David blushed in embarrassment.
"Y'all have an hour to prepare yourselves for the big karaoke challenge!" Hatchet warned the contestants. "Go find somewhere private and begin practicin'!"
Confessional:
Erica: I don't think any amount of practice will make me sound good, but I'm not going to throw the challenge, either. This is one of the few challenges where you don't have to be a physical threat to win, so I intend to go all out.
Mac: I wonder if singing this song will get it out of my head, or if it'll just lodge it in there even more firmly. Only one way to find out! Heeheehahaha!
After the contestants practiced their songs, they returned to the foyer. The wooden stage from the acting challenge had been placed back in the center of the room.
"Alright, it's time to get to the challenge!" Hatchet announced. "By random draw, Ernie will be going first."
"Hey, at least I get to get it over with," Ernie shrugged as he waked up to the stage. He grabbed the microphone off the stand. "I'm Ernie... and this is 'Lullaby'."
The music began to play, and Ernie began to sing.
"She grew up with the children of the stars... in the Hollywood hills and the boulevard..." he sang. "Her parents threw big parties - everyone was there... They hung out with folks like Dennis Hopper and Bob Seger and Sonny and and Cher."
There was a short musical break before the next verse.
"Now she feels safe in this bar on Fairfax... and from the stage I can tell that she can't let go and she can't relax... and just before she hangs her head to cry... I sing to her a lullaby."
A second of music before the chorus.
"I sing 'Everything's gonna be alright... rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye... Everything's gonna be alright... rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye.'"
Another musical break before the next verse.
"She still lives with her mom outside the city... down that street about half a mile... and all her friends tell her she's so pretty... but she'd be a whole lot prettier if she smiled once in a while... 'Cause even her smile looks like a frown... She's seen her share of devils in this angel town."
Back to the chorus.
"Everything's gonna be alright... rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye... Everything's gonna be alright... rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye."
The guitar solo happened after that. After the solo, Ernie continued to sing.
"I told her 'I ain't so sure about this place.'... It's hard to keep a gig in this town and keep a straight face... Seems like everybody's got a plan... It's kinda like Nashville, with a tan."
"Everything's gonna be alright... rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye... Everything's gonna be alright... so rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye..."
"Everything's gonna be alright... rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye... Everything's gonna be alright... rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye... rock-a-bye."
"Bye bye... bye... bye..."
With that, the song ended.
"My word, that song is so creepy," Yolonda commented.
"I dunno. I thought it was sweet," Jilly said.
"He's singing a lullaby to a grown-ass woman who he, for all we know, just met," Yolonda pointed out. "He doesn't even refer to her by name."
"That's just so girls can insert themselves into the song," Jilly frowned.
"Yeah, because so many depressed girls have parents who work in Hollywood," Yolonda retorted.
"Shut up, both of you!" Hatchet interrupted. "We're here to judge the singin', not the lyrics."
"Oh. The singing was fine," Jilly said.
"I've heard worse," Yolonda added.
"I agree," Hatchet said. "Next!"
Confessional:
Ernie: I honestly have, like, no idea how I'll do in this challenge, but I feel like I did a decent job with it.
Yolonda: I bet Shawn Mullins is a pedophile and this song is really him singin' to some underage girl. That's probably why I've never heard of him.
"Next up is Erica!" Hatchet announced.
Erica got up on stage and took the mic.
"Alright, so... this is 'Blurry'," Erica said.
The music started, and after the intro, Erica began to sing.
"Everything's so blurry, and everyone's so fake. And everybody's empty, and everything is so messed up. Preoccupied without you, I cannot live at all. My whole world surrounds you, I stumble then I crawl."
"And you can be my someone, you can be my scene. You know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene. I wonder what you're doing, imagine where you are. There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far!"
Brief pause before the chorus.
"Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? When you shoved it in my face! This pain you gave to me! Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? When you shoved it in my faaaaaaaaace!"
"Everything is changing, there's no one left that's real. So make up your own ending, and let me know just how you feel. 'Cause I am lost without you, I cannot live at all. My whole world surrounds you, I stumble then I crawl."
"And you can be my someone, you can be my scene. You know that I will save you from all of the unclean. I wonder what you're doing, I wonder where you are. There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far!"
"Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? When you shoved it in my face! This pain you gave to me! Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? When you shoved it in my face! This pain you gave to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
The bridge opened up with a musical break.
"Ohhhhhhhhh nobody told me what you thought. Nobody told me what to say. Everyone showed you where to turn. Showed you when to run away. Nobody told you where to hide. Nobody told you what to say. Everyone showed you where to turn. Showed you when to run away!"
Then a key change occurred.
"Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? When you shoved it in my face! This pain you gave to me! Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? When you shoved it in my face! This pain you gave to me!"
"Nooooooooo! This pain you gave to meeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
A break.
"This pain you gave to meeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Another break.
"Can you take it all, can you take it all away? This pain you gave to me. Can you take it all away? This pain you gave to me. Take it all away. This pain you gave to me, this pain you gave to me."
A few second later, the music stopped.
"If by 'take it all away', you mean 'your score', then yeah, I'll be happy to oblige," Yolonda quipped.
"Hey, I thought she did a good job," Jilly said. "Especially for a song that's not in her comfortable range."
"I think that song literally cried us all a river. I should check outside after the challenge and see if there's a freshwater stream anywhere close," Yolonda griped.
"Man, you focus way too much about the lyrics," Jilly pointed out. "It's not about the lyrics, it's about the singer! And your girl enjoyed the singer."
"I thought she was alright," Hatchet said. "Next!"
Confessional:
Erica: If there is a river close by, maybe I'll drown Yolonda in it. That'll teach her to insult my taste in music.
Jilly: Yo, I do not remember Yolonda being this cranky. What's the dealio with her?
"Alright, Mac. You're up!" Hatchet announced.
Mac dashed up on stage and took the microphone.
"I'm Mac, and I'm going to teach you to 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life'!" Mac announced.
After a brief bit of music, Mac began to sing.
"Some things in life are bad. They can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse... When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle. And this'll help things turn out for the best! And..."
"Always look on the bright side of life!" Mac whistled. "Always look on the light side of life!" He whistled again.
"If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten, and that's to laugh and smile and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly chumps. Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing."
"And always look on the bright side of life!" Mac whistled. "Always look on the light side of life!" He whistled again.
"For life is quite absurd, and death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin, give the audience a grin. Enjoy it. It's your last chance anyhow."
"So always look on the bright side of death!" Mac whistled. "Just before you draw your terminal breath!" He whistled again.
"Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. You'll see it's all a show, keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you."
"And always look on the bright side of life!"
There was a pause.
"Always look on the right side of life!" Mac whistled.
A key chance occurred.
"Always look on the bright side of life!" Mac whistled. "Always look on the bright side of life!" He whistled again. "Always look on the right side of life!" More whistling.
"Always look on the bright side of life!" Mac whistled. "Always look on the bright side of life!" He whistled again. "Always look on the right side of life!" More whistling.
"Always look on the bright side of life!" Mac whistled.
Then the song ended.
"Can we all agree that Mac should never sing again?" Yolonda asked.
"Yeah..." Jilly confessed.
"Gladly," Hatchet said with a leer.
"Aww," Mac frowned.
Confessional:
Mac: Maybe I shouldn't have tried to sing and do an English accent at the same time. (he begins to speak in a horrible British accent) Probably messed me up something fierce, eh?
Hatchet: We at Total Drama House Party apologize on behalf of anyone who just heard Mac singing.
"David, you're next!" Hatchet announced.
"Saving the worst for last, are we?" Franklin remarked.
David got up on stage and approached the microphone stand.
"I'm David Kendall... and this is 'Enter Sandman'," David said with a grin.
The music began to play. Since the song takes over a minute to get to any actual singing, the audience found themselves looking rather bored, with Hatchet checking his watch, Ernie yawning, etc. After a while, David finally began to sing.
"Say your prayers, little one. Don't forget, my son, to include everyone! I tuck you in, warm within, keep you free from sin, 'til the Sandman he comes!"
"Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight! Exit, light! Enter, night! Take my hand! We're off to Never-Never Land!"
A musical break happened before the next verse.
"Something's wrong, shut the light! Heavy thoughts tonight, and they aren't of Snow White! Dreams of war, dreams of liars, dreams of dragon's fire, and the things that will bite, yeah!"
"Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight! Exit, light! Enter, night! Take my hand! We're off to Never-Never Land! Yeah!"
The guitar solo began to play, and David began banging his head to the music. Then the bridge began to play, so David continued.
"Now I lay me down to sleep. Pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake. Pray the Lord my soul to take. Hush little baby, don't say a word! And nevermind that noise you heard! It's just the beasts under your bed! In your closet, in your head!"
"Exit, light! Enter, night! Grain of sand! Exit, light! Enter, night! Take my hand! We're off to Never-Never Land! Yeah! Hahahaha! OH! Yeah yeah! Yohhhhh! We're off to Never-Never Land! Take my hand! We're off to Never-Never Land! Take my hand! We're off to Never-Never Land! We're off to Never-Never Land! We're off to Never-Never Land! We're off to Never-Never Land!"
And with that, the song ended.
"I don't know about y'all, but I liked it," Jilly beamed.
"Yeah, but it took forever to get anywhere, and half of it was instrumental anyway," Yolonda pointed out.
"You're just seriously nitpicky today, aren't you?" Jilly asked.
"Did I ask for your opinion?" Yolonda asked.
"I'm a judge. That's what we do," Jilly chuckled.
"You'd better watch yourself," Yolonda leered.
"Or what? You're gonna eliminate me?" Jilly smirked.
"Both of you shut up! It had its pros and cons! Let's move on to Franklin!" Hatchet ordered.
Confessional:
David: I'd just like to say that they're the ones who picked the song for me, so the long instrumental parts totally weren't my fault.
Jilly: Your girl's been getting into metal recently. No... particular reason why. (she starts to blush) I think I'm starting to get why David likes it so much.
Franklin got on stage and, after a second of music, he began to speak.
"Hello, boys and girls," Franklin said. "This is your old pal Franklin St. Cloud. This is a song about a whale. No! This is a song about being happy. That's right. It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!
"Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy joy!"
"I don't think you're happy enough," Franklin said through his teeth. "That's right. I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs! Now, boys and girls. Let's try it again!"
"Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy joy!"
"If'n you ain't the granddaddy of all liars!" Franklin exclaimed. "Think of the little critters of nature. They don't know that they're ugly. That's very funny. A fly marrying a bumblebee. I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me! Why didn't you believe me?!"
"Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy joy joy joooooooooooy!"
And the song ended.
"Well, based on the lyrics, I think we know what Yolonda's gonna say," Jilly snickered.
"I'm not even going to dignify this with a response," Yolonda said.
Hatchet meanwhile, could not stop laughing.
"Ooh! I knew I made the right decision with this one! Ahahahahaha!"
Confessional:
Franklin: If they let me do an Eminem song like I wanted I bet he wouldn't be laughing.
Hatchet: Hey, it ain't my fault he chose all these brutal-ass songs with bad language in 'em.
After going over each performance with the judges, Hatchet began to announce the results of the challenge.
"Alright, here's how it's gonna go," Hatchet said. "The results of today's challenge won't just determine who wins Invincibility, but it'll also determine who sleeps where tonight. So you'd better pray you did well today."
"Heh. Who am I, Barry?" Mac chuckled.
"Evidently not, because you're in last place and will be sleepin' outside!" Hatchet barked.
"Aww," Mac frowned.
"In fourth place..." Hatchet started. "Erica."
"Aw, geez," Erica winced.
"You'll be sleeping in the basement with our third place contestant... Ernie!" Hatchet announced.
"Works for me," Ernie shrugged.
"Now, David and Franklin, both of y'all will be sleepin' in first class for sure, but the one with Invincibility is..."
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"David!"
"Awesome!" David cheered with a fist-pump.
"Y'all have free time until elimination," Hatchet said. "Dismissed!"
Confessional:
Ernie: Figures David would win a singing challenge. Stupid band experience. Ah well. We can always get rid of Mac.
Mac: Ernie's not invincible tonight, huh? This could be our chance to get rid of him! Nice!
Ernie, Erica, and Franklin met up in the game room.
"So, since David's invincible, we're gonna be voting for Mac tonight," Ernie said.
"Fine by me," Erica said. "He's annoying anyway."
"I wouldn't mind voting out Mac," Franklin said with a nod. "He is a challenge threat, after all."
"Of course, once he's gone, we're going to have to try extra-hard to make sure David doesn't win future challenges," Ernie said. "If any of us win the challenge tomorrow, we're, like, guaranteed to make the final three. From there, well, may the best player win."
"Sounds good to me," Franklin agreed.
"I look forward to it," Erica said with a cross between a smirk and a grin on her face.
Confessional:
Ernie: The end of the game's getting close. I've worked, like, way harder than I do in a given day throughout this entire game, so I won't accept anything less than first at this point.
Erica: If Mac does go home, at least I can rest assured that David's on my side. Not to mention Ernie and maybe even Franklin. Basically I'll be in control of the votes if he does go. This is working out well for me.
David, Mac, and Franklin all met up in the rec room.
"I think we should vote for Ernie tonight," Mac suggested. "He's got to be the biggest threat left in the game."
"It would be fun seeing his reaction to getting voted out," David chuckled. "I'm all for that, dude."
"He's won lots of challenges, formed lots of alliances, survived a ton of eliminations..." Franklin listed. "I see your point. Ernie would be a good choice."
"So, it's decided, then?" Mac asked. "Cool. Great to have you onboard, dude." With that, he shook Franklin's hand.
"Right..." Franklin said suspiciously.
Confessional:
David: I didn't even have to suggest Ernie. Fine by me. It'd look weird if I tried to defend Erica, since we've got a secret alliance and everything.
Mac: Wow. Who'd have thought I'd be in charge of taking out the strongest player in the game? I feel pretty good about myself now. Heeheehahaha!
Franklin sat alone on the balcony.
"Let's see... Ernie or Mac... Ernie or Mac... Ernie or Mac...?" Franklin asked himself. "This is honestly way harder than I thought it'd be."
Confessional:
Franklin: After much thought, I've made my decision. How the rest of the game unfolds... well, we'll see about that.
The five contestants sat on a couch in the foyer. Hatchet came down the staircase carrying an ice box. He set the ice box down as he stood across from the contestants.
"There are five of ya right now, but by the end of this, there will be four," Hatchet said ominously. "Who will be among those four? Well..."
"David."
"Erica."
"Franklin."
Mac and Ernie each sat without a soda, waiting for Hatchet to call the final name.
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"Mac."
"Whoop!" Mac cheered as he caught the soda Hatchet tossed to him.
Ernie, meanwhile, just sat there, completely thunderstruck.
"Hey, fifth place isn't so bad, ya know? Be proud," Mac said with a grin.
"Ernie, it's time for you to go," Hatchet told the lazy boy.
Ernie pounded his fist on the coffee table in front of him before standing up and, without looking back, leaving through the Door of Shame.
"Well, it just goes to show ya. No matter how far you get or how well you play, none of it matters until the very last episode," Hatchet said. "The rest of y'all are safe... for now. Dismissed!"
Confessional:
Erica: Th-This is fine. I can still make the finale. I have David as a fallback. I can do this.
"We're down to the final four," Hatchet said to the camera. "What will Erica do with Ernie gone? Will Franklin stay loyal to David and Mac? Who will not make it to the final three? All the answers to these questions will come soon enough, on Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"
Votes:
Ernie: I, like, vote for Mac. Heck, even if David weren't invincible, I might still have voted for him. Two nights in a row having to sleep near him is not my ideal weekend.
Mac: Gotta vote for Ernie. Gotta get rid of those threats somehow, amiright?
Erica: Mac, you cheating bastard. The rest of us only got one shot to win. Winning with two shots is just unfair. So I vote for you.
David: Yeah, I vote for Ernie. Consider this payback for taking advantage of me in the premerge.
Franklin: My vote is for Ernie. The tipping point for me was the possibility of a voting finale. I don't think I could beat him in a voting finale. I could beat the others in any kind of finale. So, I guess it's Ernie's time to go.
A/N: Even though this season never really had a big villain a la Heather, Scott, Mal, I feel like Ernie was the closest thing it has to a main antagonist. He made big strategic moves, he stabbed his allies in the back, he manipulated others, and despite all this, he managed to make it very far despite being a target. Because of all this, many people thought Ernie would win, which I understand, but nope. Try again. :D