Author's Note: Last chapter! And I still own nothing.
Please DO correct me on Elvish translations. Thanks to everyone who DID correct me on my other stories. Like I've said before, I am by no means an expert in Elvish. At all.
Most of the Elvish in my stories is (supposedly) Sindarin, although it's probably more likely that the elves of Imladris spoke Quenya, as Elrond was one of the Noldor elves. I chose to use Sindarin simply because I am lazy and prefer to use the Elvish translations from other fan fiction writers on this site (who often write in Sindarin) instead of doing my own research. Also, Sindarin appears first on the Arwen Undomiel Elvish site, which I use when I feel in the mood for research. Again, my laziness shows.
NOT slash.
Legolas sat on the floor in his not-exactly-bare room-with-furniture-on-the-ceiling-of-it contemplating various plans for revenge on the twins. Suddenly, someone knocked on his door. Legolas opened it to see Erestor standing in the hallway.
"Yes?" Legolas asked. He tried to make eye contact with the older elf, but Erestor ignored him and seemed to be staring through him. Legolas began feeling a little uncomfortable to see the normally composed elf look so intent and slightly flustered at the same time. Bringing himself to the present, Erestor opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Finally, he managed to stutter out a question.
"Why is your furniture on the ceiling? Wait, why am I asking this? Who put your bed on the ceiling?"
Legolas groaned slightly. "I'm guessing the twins. But how could they manage to get my bed up there? It weights more than a mumakil!
Erestor contemplated the question. After a while, he snapped his fingers.
"Glorfindel. Only Glorfindel could put a bed on the ceiling."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Why?"
"Let's just say he had a bad childhood."
"Really?"
"No. He just likes doing stupid things. Like putting beds on ceilings. He put mine on the ceiling when we first met. Lord Elrond retaliated for my sake by putting Glorfindel's bed on the ceiling. With a little help from some rather helpful servants who didn't like Glorfindel. It still took them several hours." Erestor sniggered at the memory. He smiled slightly. "Elrond is a really good friend of mine."
"Oh."
The two elves stood in silence for a while. Suddenly, the nightstand came crashing down from the ceiling, almost crushing Legolas. Luckily, Erestor moved fast enough to pull the elfling out from under the falling piece of furniture. After moving to safety in the hall, Erestor and Legolas watched in horror as the bed fell right where Erestor had been standing just a minute ago. Erestor ground his teeth.
"First the hair dye, and now an assassination attempt! I MUST speak with Lord Elrond about his sons tonight." Erestor muttered to nobody in particular.
Legolas sized up the situation and decided he would rather have Erestor as an ally rather than an enemy. So he decided to tell Erestor his plan for revenge.
"Um, Erestor?" Legolas started shyly, a little intimidated by the usually dour advisor, even though Erestor's hair still had a slightly pinkish shade to it.
"Oh, I forgot. Your ada won't be able to come tomorrow, but he'll be here the day after that." Erestor stated. He expected Legolas to look crushed, maybe even throw a fit. He was, after all, a prince. And not just any prince, but he was also the son of one of the most annoying elves in Arda. At least, that was Erestor's opinion of Thranduil.
Instead, Legolas merely looked thoughtful. His face brightened and he opened his mouth to speak. Suddenly, Erestor's sensitive ears picked up a slight rustling in the room. He silenced Legolas with a wave of his hand.
"What is it?" Legolas whispered, feeling slightly apprehensive.
"Shh." Erestor put a finger to his lips. "The walls have ears."
Legolas looked confused. Erestor pointed up to a little niche near the ceiling of the room. A small pointed ear seemed to grow out of the wall. Erestor leaned down to whisper in Legolas' ear.
"The twins and Glorfindel are hiding in a little alcove in your room. They're watching and listening to us. Fortunately, they do not have a very good sense of camouflage. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in my study." With that, Erestor stalked down the hall to his study. Legolas reluctantly followed.
Meanwhile...
"Ow! 'Dan, what'd you do that for?" Elrohir grumbled, rubbing his arm where his twin had pinched him.
"You gave us away by opening the panel too far. Erestor spotted us." Elladan pouted gloomily.
"Cheer up, elflings. At least the prank went well. Legolas is leaving soon too." Glorfindel tried reassuring them.
"Yeah. But not soon enough." Elrohir grumbled.
"I wonder where Erestor is going with Legolas." Glorfindel mused to himself. He immediately forgot his thought as he pushed the panel hiding them from sight away from the wall and swung gracefully onto the ground. He then helped the twins to the ground.
"Hannon le, Glorfindel." the twins chorused.
"Now, we should figure out the perfect farewell prank." Glorfindel stated after making sure Erestor and Legolas had left.
"Isn't Legolas leaving tomorrow?" Elladan asked.
"No, Thranduil had some 'important business' to attend to, so Legolas will be leaving the day after tomorrow."
"Oh." Elrohir sighed. "Well, that leaves us with plenty of time to plan. Any ideas."
"Yes." Glorfindel smiled. "That involves two naughty elflings going to bed and planning tomorrow." As he spoke, Glorfindel propelled the twins toward the door and down to their room.
The twins sulked. That was NOT what they had wanted to do. Nevertheless, they resigned themselves to their fate and quickly fell asleep, dreaming of pranks.
At the same time...
Legolas and Erestor arrived at Erestor's study. Erestor sat behind his desk and motioned for Legolas to sit on the chair in front of him. Legolas had a slight feeling of deja vu, as his ada had often called him to do the same thing.
"Did you want to ask me something?" Erestor asked.
Legolas nodded. "Can you help me prank the twins and Glorfindel?"
Without a pause, Erestor answered, "Yes. I'll do it. What do you have in mind?"
Legolas began talking really fast. "Oksoweregoingtogetsomedressesfromladycelebrianandmaybenadalleifthetwinscanfitinherdressescanglorfindelfitinladycelebriansdressesthenwearegoingtodrugtheirfoodanddrinksanddragthemtotheirroomsandputthedressesonthemwithsomemakeupandmaybesomejewelrycanweputtheirhairupthatwouldbefunbutiamnotgoodatdoinghairareyou?
"What?" Erestor looked confused. "Say that again. Slower."
Legolas took a deep breath and started over. "We're going to get some dresses from Lady Celebrian and maybe Nadalle if the twins can fit in her dresses. Can Glorfindel fit in Lady Celebrian's dresses? Then we're going to drug their food and drinks and drag them to their rooms and put the dresses on them with some makeup and maybe some jewelry. Can we put their hair up? That would be fun, but I am not good at doing hair. Are you?" Legolas looked expectantly up at the elf lord, who was busy deciding whether to laugh or commend the elfling for such a brilliant prank idea. Erestor decided to do the latter.
"Wonderful idea, Legolas."
Legolas beamed with pride.
The next morning, the two schemers put their plan into action.
First, they stole two of Celebrian's dresses.
"Why two?" Legolas asked.
"In case Glorfindel doesn't fit in one, or we ruin one." Erestor replied.
Legolas shrugged.
Next, they "borrowed" two of Laurelian's dresses, as Nadalle's dresses weren't fancy enough for their tastes. Luckily, the farsighted Queen of Greenwood had forced the seamstresses make Laurelian's dresses with lots of hems to take out so she could grow with her favorite dresses. This would make it easy to force the twins into Laurelian's tiny dresses once the hems were taken out.
Then, Erestor tackled the daunting task of taking out the hems of the dresses. To Legolas' surprise, Erestor was actually very adept with a needle and thread and finished the job quickly.
Finally, as evening approached, Erestor and Legolas snuck into the banquet hall early to drug the threesome's drinks.
"Now we wait." Erestor rubbed his hands together in anticipation of the fun to come.
Soon, the hall was flooded with elves. The twins and Glorfindel arrived and sat down at their seats, expecting nothing and plotting pranks. Legolas smiled inwardly.
Erestor saw Lord Elrond talking to several foreign ambassadors and had an idea. He clutched the bag holding the remaining sleeping powder and quickly tipped it into Elrond's cup of wine. Luckily, no one noticed. Erestor smiled innocently just in case anyone had noticed.
"That extra dress will come in handy tonight." Erestor smirked to himself. He couldn't wait for the banquet to be over.
After dinner, everyone began preparing for bed. As the twins and Glorfindel left the hall, Erestor and Legolas couldn't help teasing them.
"Ollo vae, Elrondions." Erestor remarked with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Yes, and losto vae, Glorfindel." Legolas smiled.
The threesome looked strangely at the two, but shrugged it off as nothing.
"They drank their entire goblets." Legolas whispered to Erestor once the three had passed out of earshot.
"The powder will begin to work within two hour of ingesting it. We should wait at least three hours before doing anything." Erestor cautioned. Legolas pouted slightly, but realized the practicality of the suggestion.
Four hours later later, Erestor and Legolas crept through the dark halls of the Last Homely House carrying the dresses, jewelry, makeup, and other necessary items.
"This is going to be fun." Erestor giggled gleefully like an elfling.
Once they arrived at the twins' bedroom, the pranksters worked quickly. In no time at all, the unconscious twins were dressed in the most feminine gowns the schemers could find in their size. Next, Legolas carefully draped "borrowed" jewelry around their necks while Erestor meticulously applied rouge to their cheeks, color to their eyelids, and bright red lipstick to their mouths. Then, they carried/dragged- as in Erestor carried one and Legolas dragged the other- the twins to Elrond's audience hall, where Elrond was to meet Thranduil and Lord Cirdan the next day.
After deciding not to style the twins' hair for now, Erestor and Legolas headed to Glorfindel's room and repeated the process. Once they deposited the Balrog Slayer in the hall, Erestor led the way to Elrond's room.
Realization dawned in Legolas' eyes when they reached Elrond's room.
"So THAT'S why you had the extra dress."
"Yes and no." Erestor replied. He stopped before opening the door and cursed under his breath.
"What is it?" Legolas asked.
"I probably should have put Celebrian to sleep as well." Erestor moaned. "She's a light sleeper. We'll never be able to get Lord Elrond out without her waking up."
Luckily, they didn't have to bother with Celebrian. Laurelian had gotten scared earlier and Celebrian was spending the night in her room trying to comfort her.
The two managed to get Elrond ready without a hitch and he joined the others in the audience hall.
Erestor's eyes twinkled with mirth and barely restrained excitement. "This is the best prank I have ever pulled."
Legolas stared at him. "Erestor."
"Hm?"
"You are my hero."
Erestor was touched.
TT TT TT TT TT
Elrond woke to the sound of laughter.
"Why is everyone laughing? Where am I? Who is laughing?" he thought groggily. Elrond rubbed his eyes to wake himself up and immediately wished he hadn't.
Right in front of him, King Thranduil and Lord Cirdan were rolling on the floor of his audience hall laughing hysterically. In addition, the rest of his court was laughing along with them. Elrond frowned.
"Why are they laughing? Why am I in my audience hall?" he looked down at himself and his heart stopped.
"Why am I in a dress?" he thundered. The two usually regal elf lords continued in a fresh burst of laughter.
"Greetings, hir Elrond." said a cheerful voice to his left. "Did they get you too?"
Elrond turned to see Glorfindel decked in Celebrian's finest gown and modeling a sickening amount of makeup.
"I suppose so." he said faintly. He turned to his right and saw his sons in the same predicament.
"Elrond!" Thranduil's voice boomed throughout the hall. "I never knew you wanted to be a girl!"
Lord Cirdan almost choked with laughter.
Elrond, Glorfindel, Elladan, and Elrohir did not find the situation funny at all.
"Do you think it would be alright if I strangled the Crown Prince of Greenwood?" Elrond muttered to Glorfindel, feeling especially murderous toward the elfling.
"I won't judge, hir-nin." Glorfindel replied.
"Lord Glorfindel!" Cirdan called between hiccups of laughter. "Your dress really brings out the color of your eyes."
"That's it!" Glorfindel roared and launched himself at Legolas who immediately ran for his life. Elladan and Elrohir shot pleading glances at their father.
"Go ahead." Elrond smirked. The twins shot out like an arrow after the retreating Prince and the vengeful Balrog Slayer.
After the twins left, Elrond confronted the still-sniggering Thranduil.
"I will never watch your son again." Elrond growled.
"I can't blame you." Thranduil's mouth twitched into a smile. "By the way, mellon-nin, you make a very convincing girl."
Elrond gritted his teeth.
Translation of Elvish Words
Mumakil: Oliphant
Ada: Father
Arda: The world containing Middle-Earth
Hannon le: Thank you
Ollo vae: Sweet dreams (Literally: Dream well) (From AU)
Elrondions: Sons of Elrond
Losto vae: Sleep well (From the Arwen Undomiel site)
Hir: Lord
Hir-nin: My lord
Mellon-nin: My friend
Author's Note: Hooray! That's a wrap! Whew, that was a long chapter!
The sequel will (hopefully) be up soon. I still have not decided on a permanent name for it. It will either be "Possibly Problematic" or "The Exasperating Elflings."
The sequel will about Galadriel, Thranduil, and Elrond participating in an "elfling swap" which the other doesn't know about. In other words, Galadriel sends Haldir, Rumil, and Orophin to Imladris, Thranduil sends Legolas to Lothlorien, and Elrond sends Elladan and Elrohir to Greenwood.
Please, please comment if you have any suggestions about which title I should use. Thanks so much!
Further Note: The elves probably did not have lipstick or eyeshadow in Middle-Earth at the time, but I couldn't resist!