I drift in and out as we stroll down the halls; pass all the security check points, and the loud buzzers. I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open. My head feels as if there is an axe splitting in me. When my senses begin to come back in the rest of my body all I feel is cold. The loud clank makes my eyes jolt open. The big metal door in front of me rumbles open and I lift my head to see I'm surrounded by nurses and patients.
The "cafeteria" is open and packed as always; people laughing, crying and mumbling fill the room and is unsettling. After breakfast the hospital will be dead quiet once the drugs set in. The nurse wheels me to an empty table, and leaves me still strapped in. I wait for god knows how long, just watching people walk by or whatever. Slowly the room starts to clear and it quiets down to a murmur.
A tray is dropped in front of me and I'm not sure what it's supposed to be; eggs, grits? I have no idea. A male tech stops and undoes my hands and arms, I stretch my fingers slightly. I don't move toward the food. The nurse pokes my shoulder and I don't move. "Shit." He mutters. He takes a seat next to my chair and grabs a spoon and begins feeding me. Sometimes, just sometimes, I hope to hope. When the food is gone, I'm wheeled to the nurse's station where a woman shoves five pills down my throat, I don't protest. Then I'm wheeled to the day room and left in a corner alone. My feet are still strapped in but I won't move anyways. I stay frozen and in the dark. I fell back into a dreamless sleep.
A horrible smell fills my nose, forcing me to wake; and when I do, I see a patient lying passed out on the ground that's obviously soiled himself. Great. Tears fill my eyes and I try to close them. The patients start going wild; yelling, screaming and running around like rabid animals. Someone kill me! This is hell on earth! My breathing quickens and my limbs jerk. I can't hold still! The rage inside of me blazes and I scream. I scream till my throat burns and I claw my arms with my nails, diffing deeper and deeper till blood starts to trickle down my arms till blood is on the floor. Over and over I scratch and scratch! Like a kitty cat! Hahaha! Like a kitty cat! I laugh so hard it hurts and I clutch my sides and I cough violently. When my coughing slows I simply scream. I scratch and scratch! I begin trembling and I can't control myself. My head starts to spin and I think I'm going to throw up! Blindly I am jabbed with a sharp pain in my back. The pain spreads throughout me and eats me from the inside and I pass out.
I don't know how long I've been out before I start to wake. Every inch of me aches. I test my limbs and realize I am lying down and restrained, better than that damn chair, I guess. I feel a heavy blanket on top of me that keeps me from shivering.