Here is chapter 8. Enjoy!
It was a late afternoon in the middle of July. She had spent her weeks trying to keep sane. Trying to keep busy and not to give in on her mind. But everything came crushing to her when she stepped into her own room. She was given a small room in guardian house holding for the time she would be spending at court. And for the last couple of weeks she had seen her classmates given charges and leaving. But for Rose that wasn't the deal. She had to stay, right where she was. She had never received a charge or position anywhere. And that day she had heard that she would never receive a charge. That nobody wanted the guardian of the last Dragomir.
And when that was being told to her it made her think of the love of her life. Dimitri. He had chosen to leave her. But as far as she knew he had a positon at St. Basils. Was that her future to? To become a guardian at the academy for the rest of her life? Was their status worth nothing? He was known as a God. And they had said that she was a badass guardian. But in the end it didn't help her.
She found herself wishing that Dimitri was with her. So he could support her and make feel better. He would've know what to say and what to do. And even if he didn't, she would only feel better in his presence. She would be a better person. And it made her sad that she didn't know why he left her. They had made promises to each other. Commitments. But as soon as he made them, he had already broken all of them.
She had fallen in love with him. Against all the rules. She had given all of herself to him. But in the end it didn't matter. He was the love of her life and she would never love another man the way she had loved him. She would compare all the man she met in her life with Dimitri. And they would never be enough. They wouldn't be as strong or made her laugh the way he did. Sure, he wasn't perfect. But he was perfect for her.
And she wouldn't forget the night he broke her heart. She had graduated and would leave the next day to go to court. She wanted to celebrate with the only person that mend the world to her. The moment she saw him she knew something was wrong. His eyes wouldn't lit up the way they always did. And his guardian mask was firm in place. He had told her that it was better. For both of them. His suitcases already packed and the plane was ready to leave. He didn't even listen to what she had to say.
On the first week when she had been at court she met him, her father. He told her why he hadn't been in her life for all those years. She had been mad him. But he had just stick around. And in just a couple days she had noticed that she had let him in. slowly and just with these small steps. But Abe Mazur was someone who wouldn't take no for an answer.
But the most important person in her life at that moment was Adrian. As much as her father would cheer her up and made sure that she had something on her mind every day. No one understood as good as Adrian what she had to go through. Because in the end, nobody had known about her and Dimitri. So he would come to talk to her every day, keep her busy. He would feed her liquor when everything became too much. She wasn't even old enough to buy her own. So why was she even old enough to carry this burden.
Adrian even visited her in her dreams. To make sure she wouldn't dream of him. Or about Lissa. He was worried about her.
After the accident Lissa was the one that pulled Rose back to life. She had bound Rose to her and they would be sisters for the rest of their life. So the moment when Lissa died, some part of Rose had died with her. They had a lot of theories about what happened in that cave that certain night. But after it, Rose was even more bound to the dead. To the shadows. Adrian could see them when he was around her. And even with all the help Rose received, she couldn't keep standing on her own two feet because of that.
She had been stumbling to keep standing since that night. Dimitri had helped her, a lot more then they both had thought. But without his help it was just a matter of time when it all went wrong.
It was a late night in the middle of July. A beautiful night. But after everything Rose had to go through, it became too much. So when she got home she had changed in her sport clothes. Trying to keep her head clear. But it wouldn't help. She had tried to drink the pain away. But it made the pain even worse. And even the cutting wouldn't help her that night. At that point she was weak. She wasn't the Rose anymore that everyone had known.
Her thought went back to her fear to became just like Anna. She had killer herself when Vladimir died. And that night, she thought that maybe, just maybe everything would become a lot better when she would follow Anna. She wasn't mend to be on this world anymore. So maybe it was time for her to let it all go.
And even before she could think straight about it, she had left court. She had stepped behind the wards and pulled the shadows to her. First it had made her feel better. But when she lost more and more of her control of the shadows she became scared. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to leave this world.
She regretted stepping behind the wards. She was weak at the moment. But it didn't mean that her life wasn't worth anything. She needed to life. She owned it to Lissa. She knew she did. So why did she wanted to die? All those things because of the shadows? All those things because she didn't had Dimitri by her side? She could live without a guy. She had never needed anyone in her life before. If only she could get another change.
Three days later she woke up in her own room with Abe sitting next to her. He had followed her and saved her before it was too late. And from that moment she had the feeling that she owned Abe her life. And in some way she actually did. She finally accepted his help and she had left court with him to go to Turkey.
Adrian had followed them and they had been testing the theories they had why Rose felt the way she did. And in the end they stuck up the fact that after Lissa's dead she had even more shadows surrounding her. She had been fighting those shadows for a while and only needed a last push to let her fall over the edge.
After months of working on herself she finally was feeling better. She still slept a lot and sometimes she walked around the house like a zombie. But she didn't had the urge anymore to cut herself of even try to kill herself. Her father was around a lot and had hired some people to support her and make her feel better.
After a whole year since her fall down her father had talked her into his business. She would pick up stuff for him and sometimes she would treat a person to do what was told. It wasn't really spectacular and she knew that her father's business was a lot more than that, but he wouldn't include her further in his world. A thing that she appreciated.
I decided to go with him. To give him a chance to explain everything to me. We ended up in the cabin. A little ironic. We sat on the ground next to the bed. And every time he would breath in his arm would touch mine. Making me crazy. But as promised he started to explain why he did what he did.
The day before my graduation Dimitri was already told that he wouldn't get a new charge. That as the guardian of the last Dragomir he was doomed, as I called it. He was offered a place at his old school. St. Basils. They had told him it would be his best shot. He had decided to took the place without telling me.
He was afraid that when we would announce that we were a couple that things would end up badly for me. And he knew that some people saw me as the second guardian of the last Dragomir. But not all Moroi saw me like that. So he thought that I could have a chance to receive a charge.
And as Dimitri is Dimitri he couldn't bring me down with him. So he broke up with me. To give me a chance to live. To be a guardian. He had left before I could say something because he knew that one word from me and he would have stayed.
Months later he had heard what I had done and what my future would be like. And he felt bad. For me and he was mad at himself. He had wanted to be there for me. He had known how depressed I was and how difficult everything had been for me. And he tried to contact me.
But that contact never came. At that time I was already in Turkey and every information and every letter and phone call came through Abe. And Abe didn't want Dimitri to have another chance with me. He blamed Dimitri for everything I had done.
Dimitri don't want to say it, but I am sure that Abe threatened him. It makes me a little mad at Abe for not giving me my own chance to decide what I wanted to do with Dimitri. But I am also glad that he did what he did. Because now I am stronger than what I was.
I was mad at Dimitri when he told me this. But I could have known that this is what he would do. It is typically Dimitri. After it I told him my story what happened and we actually cried together. I cried because the memories are still so painful. And Dimitri cried because he felt bad. I could see that he became even angrier at himself.
Dimitri told me that he received a phone call from Alberta. Saying that she wanted him to come back to the academy. And that she had asked me to come as well. He saw that as a chance to speak with me again without Abe noticing. So here we both are.
Dimitri is sitting next to me. One of his legs folded under the other one. Leaving in a half cross-legged position. My legs are over his leg and I have pressed my side against him. He has one arm wrapped around me. His other hand is laying on my knee. I have my arms wrapped around him. It is nice to be this close to him again.
'Can you please give me another chance Roza?' he whispers. I look up into his pleading eyes.
'A chance of what Dimitri? To be friends or…?' I say. Unsure of what he wants. My heart is pounding is my chest with anticipation.
'I know that I made a mistake Roza. But if you give me another chance in love I won't let you go another time. I want you to be the one I can come home to. I want to fall asleep next to you every evening and wake up and see your beautiful smile.' He says as I hold my breath. Tears are filling in my eyes. It is everything I wanted to hear. And some more even. It is what I have been dreaming of.
'I want to give you another chance, Comrade. But I want to take it slow.' I say. His eyes lit up when I call him comrade. I am still unsure when I give him this chance. But my heart says that I should do it. But my brain is saying that I can't trust him.
'Oh Roza. We can take all the time you want. I will prove to you that I don't leave you again.' He says and he give me a light peck on my cheek. I press my head against his chest and close my eyes. I missed him.
I want to say sorry if there a couple spelling mistakes in this chapter. But I wanted to update and I am just so tired :(.
So, I went to see Insurgent yesterday! Amazing movie. Anyone of you saw it? What do you think about it?
The chapter. Please tell me what you thought about it. Rose is giving him another change. Yeey! After posting this chapter I don't have any chapters ready anymore. So if you want to have something happen into this story, this is you change to tell me!
Review, follow and favorite! And I will see you next week!