AN: (trigger warning): This chapter involves the threat of non-consensual sexual violence. If you don't want to read the section involving that then stop at *** and pick up the story at the next ***. Your reading of the story will not be exactly the same, but the scene will still be understandable to you. For those reading the story straight through I apologize for that interruption, but I feel I should warn those who might be sensitive to this type of scene and allow them the opportunity to skip over the section without losing the integrity of the storyline. Thank you.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails…When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me…And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
-From I Corinthians 13
Slowly I open my eyes in the pitch darkness of the moonless night. When the moon shines through the cracks in our small house, I can see the outline of my wife lying beside me. I can't tonight, but even in the darkness I can feel her move as she softly breathes in and out. I stretch my hand toward her but can't tell exactly where it will fall. Once it touches her I know it's come to rest on her hip. I'm still learning to touch her without hesitation.
She nestles into me as I allow my lips to brush lovingly against the soft skin of her cheek. I remind myself that even my family would believe Cai and I are allowed to live this way now…allowed to touch and satisfy one another fully. My lips slowly turn up in a smile as I consider waking her, but I quickly decide that wouldn't be fair. Our days are long in the fields, and she needs her rest. I run my hand along the curve of her hip and down her leg. She's not as thin as she was in the winter, and I marvel at how our circumstances have changed so quickly with the changing of the season. I hold my wife closer and allow my eyes to close contentedly. If I'm not going to wake Cai then I should probably get some more sleep before the sun rises.
At first the noise is distant, but it soon grows louder…someone running…a moment later I hear yelling and recognize the shouts as the landlord's servant who is and running around the outside of the house.
I'm on my feet in seconds and go to meet him at the door.
"They're coming!" the servant huffs.
"Who's coming?" I ask him.
"Them. Soldiers. They're already at the main house," he answers, his eyes wide with panic. He looks behind him, then to each side. He points at my boots where they sit by the door.
"Run," he says.
Out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of Min lifting the gun from behind the box where I store my possessions. She passes it to me, and I immediately offer it to the servant.
"Do you know how to use this?" I ask.
He nods, not taking his eyes off the metal object.
"Then take it. How many men are there?"
"Too many," he answers, his gaze meeting mine again. "That'll do me no good," he says of the gun. "Take it and run. I'll try to convince them that you stole from us."
I press my lips together. Even as he says the words the servant is shaking his head slightly. The truth is that there is no reasonable explanation for me being here except that these people helped me. We're all going to die, and it's going to be my fault. The panic that's been building inside me for several minutes now reaches a peak as both my heart and head pound in rhythm.
I feel a hand touch my arm. Cai stands by my side. I take the gun from Min when she offers it.
"You need to hide," the servant says urgently, looking intently at Cai. "Now. We have so little time. Gather your things. Hide any extra clothes and shoes. We want them to think there are not many people here. Hurry."
Cai's arm is draped with Min's clothes a few seconds later.
"Mother!" Min cries frantically when the servant starts to push her out the door.
"I'll be coming back for her," the servant explains to Min before looking over at me to reveal his true intentions. We both know Min and Cai's mother won't be able to follow fast enough.
I watch Cai look between her mother and Min twice before her eyes reach mine.
"Go. No matter what happens, remember that I love you. And I'm sorry," I choke out. "So sorry."
She nods her head frantically, seemingly unable to speak. Then she squeezes my hand with her smaller hand once before releasing me. The thought that this may be the last time I'll ever touch her crosses my mind…perhaps this is the last time I will ever touch anyone.
Once they're out the door the servant pushes the two of them toward the tree line of our farm. It's obvious where he's going, and I won't watch them go for fear of revealing their location. He's taking them to the deep holes where Cai and her neighbors buried the parts of the plane they could not easily burn. Some of them were filled in with dirt while others were kept for storage purposes, just in case they found a use of the airplane parts or the metal. One of the holes just inside the tree line is big enough for a hiding place for both Cai and Min. There are others, and I suspect he'll find his own place to hide as soon as he's lead them to safety. He's clever. The hiding places might be good ones.
My mind scrambles for options for hiding Cai's mother, but finally I settle on a plan to pretend to have held her hostage because of her weakened state. Most of all I want to lead the soldier's astray as long as possible so they won't find Cai, Min and anyone else who may be hiding or running. I'm turning back to the door of the house to go in and set-up the fabricated scene when I suddenly find I'm on the ground, my face pressed into the dirt, blood pouring from what must be a gash on the back of my head. Blackness surrounds me.
I feel a floating sensation as I wake up again to harsh voices shouting in an unfamiliar language. When I turn my head, the world spins and I let out an involuntary groan. As my sight begins to clear I can see that Cai and Min are close, closer to me than I imagined the soldiers would allow them to be. They have been pushed to their knees, their heads bowed as a couple of soldiers stand threateningly with guns trained on them. Another shouts at them in what I think is Japanese. I start to push my way up from the ground but before I can move more than a couple of inches I am roughly shoved back down by the boot of another soldier I hadn't noticed who must have been ordered to guard me. Not only is he stepping on my shoulder, he's pressing the end of a bayonet just close enough to the skin between my neck and shoulder to be painful without actually cutting me. My breath grows shallower at the thought of the blade tearing open some vital part of me before I can get to Cai. My eyes close briefly. This can't be happening! a voice inside my head screams. But I always knew that this would happen if I stayed here very long.
Shifting only my eyes to the side I can see Cai shaking her head and Min cowering right beside her, but the landlord's servant isn't with them. From the confused look on her face I suspect Cai can't understand much of what the soldier is saying. She once told me that she knows only a few Japanese phrases even though the Japanese have been in control of her part of the country for some time.
The soldier shouting at Cai, who I think may be the commanding officer, barks an angry order and one of the soldiers steps forward and roughly yanks Cai's arm in front of her and forces her open hand up to rest on top of her head. He grabs for the other hand and tries to do the same, but Cai attempts to resist. Another soldier does the same to Min, who is much more quickly compliant. It's a waste of time to take such precautions. Cai won't try anything sneaky and put her sister at risk. Min won't try to escape without Cai. The two of them have no chance if they fight back, and as I think of how helpless we all really are the panic hits me all over again. We have to run, but we can't run. We need to hide, but the time for hiding has passed. I shift again slightly, wondering if it would be possible for me to overpower the guard and draw the rest of the soldiers onto me. I feel helpless but unable to lie still a moment longer. I need to get closer to Cai…to protect her…distract the soldiers so she and Min can run away no matter the costs. The cold metal at my neck doesn't stop me at first, but before I can move even half an inch the blade begins to feel sharp. I think of pushing through that pain…I'm really not thinking clearly at all…but the soldier pushes me down with his boot and repositions the blade. I won't last long if he cuts me where it lies now…I probably won't last long anyway…yet this soldier must have been told not to kill me…yet.***
I struggle with what I should do as I hear Cai's voice.
"No," she says loudly in Chinese. My eyes turn to the side again. "Leave my sister alone!" This time she yells.
A third soldier has moved closer to Min. With an evil grin on his face he reaches for her, and shoves her roughly down to the ground. Min shrieks, probably from both pain and fear as he grabs both of her wrists and forces first one and then the other to the ground on opposite sides of her head. Min struggles vigorously, kicking her legs and twisting away from her captor.
When I realize what is about to happen, I feel my blood turn cold. Without thinking I lunge up and to the side, managing to almost sit up. I feel a sting and then the trickle of blood down my neck, but it doesn't feel fast like it would if the wound was deep. Another one of the soldiers has his hands on me immediately, helping the first one pin me down again. When I try to lunge up a third man joins them, kicking me viciously in the ribs. Stunned, but still resisting with every muscle, I stop breathing. There is nothing I can do. I try to turn my head away but the soldier holding me down grabs me by the hair and yanks my head around so that my eyes fall on Cai.
By now Cai is crying. I hear her sob the word "no," in Japanese this time. It's one of the few words I understand in that language. She takes her hands down from her head and points at herself repeating another word, one I don't recognize. It also sounds Japanese to me. One of the other soldiers pushes Cai back, replacing her hands on top of her head. Cai keeps repeating "no" and sobbing, each time louder and more desperately. She takes her hands down again, glaring at the soldier who had pushed her back as if daring him to stop her this time. I take in a deep breath, terrified he'll kill her immediately for defying him.
Cai drops to her knees and grasps the arms of the soldier still grappling with her sister. Distracted, he looks up at Cai. When he does an expression I've never seen before crosses Cai's face. It's a mix of terror and determination. I wonder if she's planning to try to fight him off for Min, but she doesn't. Instead, she looks into his eyes, turns her head a bit, and kisses him. Shocked, I let out the breath I've been holding. I know what she's doing, and while I hate to see her do it I admire her courage. The terror doesn't leave me though. What will this man do to Cai? Despite the weight of the men holding me down, I'm trembling to fear for her.
Taken by surprise the soldier holding down Min loses his balance and lands nearly on top of Cai. I watch as Min slips out of his grasp and crawls away on her hands and knees. But she only crawls a few feet before another soldier catches her and pulls her up making her stand, forcing her open hands on her head again. Min, now shaking visibly and sobbing, wide-eyed with fear, stares down at Cai.
The soldier who my wife has managed to distract from his appalling intentions is angrier than ever and he slams her down hard against the ground, separating them for the moment. Cai, attempting to offer herself in her sister's place, willingly lowers her hands and arms to the position in which he'd held Min's. The man lunges forward, screaming at her only an inch or so from her face. She winces, but doesn't move. I'm numb from the shock of my wife's attempt to sacrifice herself and horrified by what's happening to her. I feel rage at my uselessness. Cai's so close to me, but I can't do anything to help her. My chest aches. My legs and arms twitch in response to a rush of adrenaline, so I try to escape one more time. One of the men holding me down shouts at the others as they gain control once again. My hatred for all of them rises. I could kill every one of these men without the hesitation I used to feel dropping bombs from airplanes. Trembling with the knowledge that it would feel good to kill them I struggle to resist the men holding me down, my muscles burning. I can't push them off. I beg God to spare Cai, wondering why I didn't do that before now. Somehow He impresses on me that I should be still no matter what happens. I'm able to lessen the trembling of my strained muscles. I glance at Cai, who's focused on the soldier who's holding her down. A numbness I can't explain sinks into my soul, and I look away, knowing Cai wouldn't want me to see what might happen next. Underneath every action and feeling I'm still begging God to stop this.
I'm startled from my prayer by a strangled sound of fear and can't help but look at my wife. The source of the noise is definitely her, but it's not caused by what I think. Instead, the soldier has wrapped his hands around her neck, tightening his grip as if to choke her. The only part of her that I see move are her fingers which scrape at the ground frantically, throwing dust into the air.
Cai doesn't take her eyes off of him, staring at him as he chokes more and more life out of her. I'm not sure if the staring will help or hurt her, but it certainly requires courage. I find myself hoping she'll pass out, so that he'll let go so she can breathe again when he does. What if he lets go and she never takes another breath though? I watch her chest, hoping to see it rise and fall…becoming more frantic every second that it doesn't. My fingers reach just far enough to touch her now outstretched hand. Cai's hand stops pawing at the ground. Maybe she can tell I'm the one touching her hand and doesn't want me to let go. I close my eyes again believing this may be all I can do for her while she dies. Her fingers jerk, and she coughs. I stare at her, hoping to get a glimpse of how she's doing. She stares back through the dust, expressionless but clearly hurting. At least she's breathing.
***The sound of rapid footsteps startles me. A moment later a man dressed in Chinese clothing crosses my peripheral vision. He disappears somewhere on the other side of Cai, shouting angrily. He sounds drunk, but the words he's saying are understandable even though they are slurred.
"No! No! She's supposed to be mine! Don't do that! We agreed the women were not supposed to be hurt! Only take the foreigner," the man shouts in Chinese. The soldiers whose faces I can see look at him with utter contempt. It's doubtful any of them speak Chinese.
When the Chinese man kneels down beside Cai she tries harder to sit up and calls out to him in a raspy version of her voice, "Fa. What did you do?"
The man called "Fa" stumbles forward and pulls at the soldier restraining Cai, apparently trying to free her. The soldier lets go of Cai's neck and turns his focus to Fa instead. Fa has a better position from which to fight and shoves the soldier over on his back, throwing a sloppy punch. Cai turns away in the opposite direction but doesn't get up.
Get up! Cai, get up! I scream inside my head.
Fa's punch lands with surprising force, temporarily stunning its target. The other soldiers don't seem eager to interfere with any of this but several of those holding me renew their tight grip. One of the other soldiers smiles as if amused. But soon another begins to pull Fa away, ending the brief attack.
Cai lies unmoving, she appears stunned. I keep hoping she'll stand, believing that she'll be safer on her feet. She doesn't, and so I consider that she might have been hurt more than I imagined. My worrying is interrupted by the unmistakable sound of a gunshot. Min screams and puts her hands over her ears. Fa falls to the ground in a lump, a hole in the center of his forehead leaking bright red blood. He's still breathing, still making noises, but he's clearly dying. His body jerks, and the movements don't seem to be in his control.
Cai stares at him, then at me, then back at him. The soldier Fa attacked holds his bloodied nose. His eye is beginning to swell. The one who seemed amused before comes close to laughing at him, but doesn't.
My wife staggers to her feet and places her hands on her head. She looks at me, sorrow in her eyes and I nod just enough for her to notice. I try to smile so she knows I understand and that I love her. She is amazing…so incredibly brave. She takes a step, moving closer to her sister while the soldiers are still busy with their own concerns. I don't move. The soldier with the bleeding face no longer seems interested in Cai or Min, preferring to nurse his wounds instead.
AN: This is a rough cliff-hanger. Fortunately the next chapter is in the final stages of editing. Stay with me.