I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. It's probably the shortest one too. But I wanted it to be perfect. And college has been kicking my butt. So yeah. Enjoy, tell me what you think!

When she awoke, her brain was fogged with sleep. She didn't register the silence in the village. The utter grayness that fell like soup. Contentment was set on her soul, as she slept well. No dreams, no nightmares, just hard deep sleep. She attributed it to her swim yesterday, the vast energy she spend. She dressed and made her way downstairs.

"Good morning, Stoick!" She chirped.

He looked up with bloodshot eyes. "Morning lass." He barely grinned.

"You look awful chief, something wrong?"

He rubbed his eyes. "I uh, I didn't sleep well last night."

She simpered. "Party too hard? I told you that feast wasn't a good idea."

"Yeah, maybe."

"Well, I'm going to go take some breakfast to Hiccup. I'll see you later." Happily, she practically skipped out the door.

Stoick didn't have the heart to stop her. He stood, knowing he'd have to answer for Hiccup instead. So down to the docks he went, and waited.

The wheelchair sat alone and the end of the dock, the foggy morning settling in the atmosphere. The great man sighed heavily and rested his hands on his waist. So badly he wanted Hiccup to pop out of the water and give some sort of crack about the man's weight. But the surface stayed tranquil, and only the soft sounds of waves on the shore broke the silence.

She would head to the forge first, he figured, and then interrogate Gobber. When he claims that Hiccup didn't come home last night, she'll search for him. Maybe ask the twins or Snotlout, but inevitably…

"Hiccup?" A soft voice called from behind him. He heard her soft footsteps as she drew closer, and knew he couldn't hide it any longer.

"He's gone, lass."

"Gone? What do you mean, gone?"

"He's left."

She came closer. "Do you know when he'll be back?"

Stoick turned ever so slightly to look at her. "He's not coming back."

Her silence was painful as she stared at him. "Not coming—…?" Her words caught in her throat. "No! You're lying! Hiccup!"

The chief only had seconds to whirl around and grab her before she leapt into the sea. "No Astrid! It's too cold for you!"

She scratched at his arms. "Let me go! I have to find him! I have to convince him to come back!" She moaned, fighting his grip.

"Astrid he's gone! Stop it!"

Weakly, she stopped fighting and slumped in his arms. A sob escaped her throat before she whispered, "He didn't even say goodbye."

"Maybe it was for the best…" He used his freehand to pet her hair.

"Was it something I did?" She looked up with tearful eyes.

Stoick wanted to be honest, so badly, so he hugged her. "My dear, he said it was too hard to stay with us…where he didn't belong."

"But he does belong! He's one of us! He's proved himself!"

"Astrid, please don't kid yourself. I wanted him to stay too, but we both knew it was inevitable."

She rubbed her eyes with her palms. "He's my best friend. He's the only one who ever understood me."

"Aye lass." He didn't even try to deny it. "But…I'm sure that someday he'll come back."

"I sure hope so."

The chief eased the girl's hair over her shoulder and began to fix her braid. "Time will ease the pain lass. It hurts now, but…you'll get used to it."

She rubbed her eyes again. "Chief…I can't stop crying…" She whimpered.

"It's okay." He swept her bags away. "Crying is not a sign of weakness, but a show of heart."

For the first time since the passing of her parents, Astrid couldn't remember crying so hard.

—

Day after day, Astrid wandered down to the dock to sit. For the first few weeks, Stoick let her stay there, understanding that she was mourning for the loss of something beautiful. Hiccup's wheelchair remained where he had left it, so when he returned he could use it once again.

Then spring had officially sprung, as rhine roses and lilies came into blossom. Even so, they colors seemed dull. Even the sky was grayer and the sun didn't seem as bright. Astrid was urged back into training for the chiefdom. She filled her free time helping with the dragons, or doing work around the village, anything to keep from thinking about the boy she missed so dearly. She figured Stoick knew what he was talking about when she would get over it. After all, he had lost his wife and child. The chief, of all people, would know what it's like so miss someone dear.

But he was wrong.

Maybe he lied. Maybe it was different because they were gone forever. Maybe he was just in denial. Who knows.

But the phrase, 'absence makes the heart grow stronger' resinated with the blonde. She hated how much she needed him. Astrid prided herself on being independent and strong, but then Hiccup came and changed all that. At night she dreamt of his nasally, comical voice. His knowledge and wisdom stuck with her. During her meetings with the council, she often found herself scratching crude images into her notes, vague lines that depicted fins. After the meetings, she would angrily rub the charcoal away.

One sure anchor Hiccup had to Berk was Toothless. The alpha dragon came and went as needed. Sometimes he left at night and returned in the morning. Sometimes he slept in the forge, and other times still, he disappeared for days on end. She knew he was off with his friend. It was good, she supposed. They needed each other, despite their convictions.

More then once, the idea of going with Toothless to find Hiccup crossed her mind. Go and find him, and reason with him to come back. But she never went through with it. She respected Hiccup too much. There was a reason he was staying away, and she didn't want to hurt him.

Even though he was hurting her.

Summer came and still no sign of the merman. Several times, she grew desperate and climbed down the cliff side. She never reached his cave though, the rocks were too dangerous. She tried swimming to it, but she was at least thankful that she could breathe underwater, since she still couldn't actually swim.

Stoick's patience was wearing thin, but he respected Hiccup's request. Marriage proposals came to Berk from various tribes, all with prosperous grooms; wealthy, handsome, strong...but not Hiccup.

Without even meeting them, she turned them all down.

"Lass, don't you think you could at least give someone a chance? Pick one, just one, and sit down and talk to him! You might like him!"

"No. I won't have a political marriage."

Stoick ran a hand down his face. "It's not so much of a political marriage as stability for the future. I want to make sure you're taken care of. I want to see you with a child!"

"Well, that's not what I want."

"What do you want then? What would make you happy?"

She sat silently before saying, "I think you know."

"Yes, but that's not possible. He's gone."

"I know...and I can't get over it..." She whispered.

"Well you need to. Grow up, Astrid."

She pursed her lips into a thin line.

"I promised Hiccup something before he left. I promised that I'd let you marry for love. And I won't go back on that promise...but I will arrange for you to meet with these boys."

"Why? You know I care deeply for Hiccup!"

"But it's not practical! He is not human! Don't you get it?! It won't work! You can't be with him!"

"That's where you're wrong." She bit.

"How then exactly?!" He shouted. "Are you going to sprout fins? Are you going to start eating raw fish and seaweed!? You don't even know where he is! Let alone if he even wants you!" Stoick suddenly stopped and realized he had said too much. "I—…"

Astrid's nostrils flared. "Since when are you so cruel?" Astrid whispered. "What did I ever do to make you say such awful things? Is it wrong for me to dream?"

He clenched his eyes shut and urged, "It won't work."

"We'll see." She nodded. "When he returns."

—

Fall. Astrid made her way down to the docks. It was one of those rare days where she just needed to sit and gaze out at sea. Her heart yearned a little for her best friend. When she reached them, she found Gobber sitting next to the wheelchair that was now rusted and warped.

"Hello lass." The man called, not looking to her.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Who else comes down this dock?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"A bit, I'm afraid."

She sighed and sat next to him. "I don't know what's wrong with me. It's been six months since he left us."

"Aye."

"He was only here for a few months anyway! I don't understand…Is it possible to grow so attached to someone so quickly?"

"Well lass, I think you two had more in common then you anticipated."

"He's a…monster, Gobber."

"You don't believe that." The blacksmith shrugged. "Don't let other people tell you what to think. Now, I'm not talking about outside appearances."

"Okay, what do we have in common?" Astrid pressed.

"Well, kindness, for one."

"I'm not kind." She denied.

"Oh? I think if you weren't, you would have killed that boy on the day you caught him. You had compassion and cared for him. You defended him."

She paused as she considered him. "What else?"

"Knowledge and wisdom…cleverness."

She smiled. "That is true."

"And you both have a heart for the tribe. Hiccup helped train the dragons after all. He saved you."

"That's…true too."

"Most importantly…you are both destined for greatness."

Astrid glanced up to the man she had depended on all these years. "You think so?"

"I know so." He rubbed her head. "You wreak of potential."

She laughed. "Thanks Gobber." Her eyes went back out to sea. "Still, I can't help but want him back."

"Of course lass. That you should." He rested a hand on her shoulder. "The lad…some birds just can't be kept, their feathers are too bright. When they fly away, you know it's a sin to hold them back. But still, the world they leave behind is just as dull and drab as always."

She nodded. "Yeah. Something like that." Then, she stood. "I'll see you later."

As she sauntered back up the dock, she turned for a moment and looked wistfully out to the sea. "Are you sure we didn't bond?" She whispered.

But she knew it couldn't be so. He would have come back to her.

—

Winter.

When your heart breaks, it can heal crooked, twisted, strange. Astrid's heart chipped away little by little everyday she was left in silence from the merman. Now, what was left was cold, like the ice that littered the ground. The wheelchair still sat, covered in snow. She didn't bother cleaning it off. Why should she?

He wasn't coming back.

Solemnly, the blonde stood by the cliff side in a warm fur frock. Her arms folded over her chest. Over the past year, she had grown into a fine young woman. Her beauty brought on even more proposals for her to reject. She was as divine as she was clever, and cross as she was strong. Still, her pain isolated her from the rest of the tribe.

Not that she wasn't an outcast already.

She loved Berk, she really did. It had it's charms and queer delights, but it wasn't enough. Not anymore. A piece was missing, and so was her heart. She longed to see the cove alight with glittering gold from the hidden sunsets, the water aglow in the dark of the night, and graceful fins…slick with shimmering scales and svelte muscles. She hadn't realized the strength of her affections for the boy until it was too late. Now they were too strong to break off.

And it was suffocating.

Torn between two worlds. Never content to belong to one. It was another trait the blonde had in common with the merman. So vastly was she altered, she was past the point of no return.

"Hey Astrid." A calm voice spoke. "What's a pretty young thing doing out here by yourself?"

"Get lost, Snotlout." She bit, without turning around.

He held up his hands in defense. "Whoa whoa hey, I'm just here to talk..."

Out of all the marriage proposals, Snotlout's was the most persistent. Even before Hiccup had entered their lives, he seemed to be under the delusion that she was into him. Granted, he was the most likely and the most eligible. Spitelout, Hiccup's uncle, did assume that Snotlout would take up the role of heir, even if they were related to Valka's side of the family. By marrying Astrid, Snotlout would have a higher rank in the village.

To give him some credit, he did like Astrid. For superficial reasons, but still, he liked her. And to some degree cared about her happiness. He wasn't completely shallow.

"What?" The blonde asked with a sigh.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing..."

"Yeah, right." She rolled her eyes.

"Okay look, here's the thing." He scratched the back of his head. "We both know this was coming."

She grunted.

"Facts need to be faced, I mean, you're strong and hot, little temperamental, but hey, I don't hold that against you."

"Snotlout..."

"And I'm capable of protecting you, better then most of your suitors."

That was true, she would venture to say.

"We've known each other our whole lives practically. We're the best combination." He kicked the dirt at his feet. "Once I turned sixteen, my dad urged me to get the talks started. I tried my best to put it off, but he's losing his patience. I figured I'd talk to you first, at least."

She sighed. Maybe he was right. Maybe she should put away childish thoughts. Maybe growing up and doing what her guardian wanted was best for her. Best for the tribe. It was time to let things go.

"Astrid, will you marry me?"

"I—..."

Astrid...

Her brow furrowed. "What?"

"Will you marry me?" He reiterated.

Astrid...

It wasn't Snotlout. Someone was calling for her, singing her name. The voice was foreign but so familiar, one that sent chills up her spine. It couldn't be...there was no way.

"No..."

"No? What do you mean no?"

Astrid...

She was no longer listening. Like a string, her name pulled her away. Her feet were moving her slowly over to the cliff face as the siren's call beckoned her to the sea. Could he hear it? Did he know? Must not, as he was still yelling.

"What is it? Is there someone else? Are you seeing another man?!"

The question didn't register in her head. "Hiccup..."

"Hiccup?! He's not a man! He's a fish!"

Astrid…

She could hear his voice across the moorland skies.

"Astrid? Astrid!" Snotlout tried to get her attention, but she ventured closer to the dangerous edge. "Wait! Astrid!"

She stepped off the edge.

"ASTRID!"

Her feet left the solid ground as she plummeted to the icy depths below.