My first fanfiction on ! I want to say a huge Thank You to my patient beta reader Missy The Least, who helped edit and organize my ideas.
Warning: Yes, this story is centered on implied romantic love between Hogan and Klink. It is tame and no one takes off their clothes. That being said- if the idea of romantic love between them still bothers you, don't read.
Feedback is always appreciated, although flames are not.
Author's Notes:
Written in Lily's 1st person POV
Dates of Lily's Entry comes from Richard Mandel's Hogan's Heroes Chronological) Timeline
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or show. All dialogue within quotation marks is from the Hogan's Heroes episode "Rockets or Romance" (4/4/71). Most of the story comes from that same episode and some parts of the story come from the Hogan's Heroes episode "Six Lessons from Madame LaGrange" (2/27/70)
DIARY OF LILY FRANKEL
Entry Date: Feb 23-25, 1945
Entry Titled: Go To Hell Colonel Hogan
Dear Diary;
Lily is writing to you again- I am sorry it has taken me so long. It should be understandable, though, considering the efforts I have undertaken to make this awful war end.
The last time you heard from me I had just helped the Underground avoid exposure. I had quit my job as a singer at the cabaret and I was on my way to England.
In actuality, I changed my mind because the war continued on and the Underground said they could still use me. As an agent, I have a few strengths. For example, my singing ability enabled me to make many contacts. I also possess a keen sense of woman's intuition.
Also I stayed because I fell in love. I thought this man loved me back but I have discovered that this is not the case. And now I never want to see or hear from Colonel Hogan, the man called Papa Bear, ever again.
Here is what happened, diary. It will be nice to write this all out.
The Underground told me that there were a couple of Nazi rocket launchers in the area and asked for assistance. I told them I would be interested but only if I had help. They said there was a high possibility that Colonel Hogan would be there himself. Once I knew that, I knew I had to go because I had to see him again.
I started the journey in the darkness and made the cabin by daylight. I wore my usual headscarf to disguise myself as I usually did. I trekked up the hill and I pondered what I was going to say to Hogan when I saw him. As far as he knew, I was in England already. I knew when he saw me he would be pleased although shocked.
To my surprise, he acted like he didn't know me.
I opened the door and he pulled a gun on me.
"Frankel?" he asked.
He didn't rush over with a hug or a kiss. There wasn't any recognition so I tried to jog his memory.
"Lily Frankel." I stated.
There was still nothing to indicate we had shared some close moments. In fact, it was the opposite. He reacted with dismissal.
"Hey, look, not that I've got anything against the smell of cologne, but this isn't exactly a mission for a woman." Hogan declared.
I was shocked when I heard his almost angry remark. It took me a while to respond while I removed my headscarf and coat. At least he put that damn gun away, thank God.
"Colonel Hogan, I have faced danger before." I chided.
And you should know, I wanted to add. Don't you remember how I saved you and your men? Don't you remember how we danced and kissed? Don't you remember me... at all?
I said nothing as I expected him to say it, but his remembrance never came. Instead he used the opportunity to make a joke:
"Well, when was the last time you were alone with a man who has been a prisoner of war for three years?"
Fine, I thought bitterly. If you're not interested in treating my reappearance seriously, then I will have to joke back, too:
"Now, that is what I call danger."
I fully expected him to remember me in the next few minutes, but it didn't happen. Instead, we busied ourselves setting up our positions by the windows.
As the mission advanced, I continued to be civil towards him, despite my patience wearing thin.
"No. But I wish they would come. I would like to get out of here." I replied to him, after he asked me if I had seen anyone outside.
"I imagine you're anxious to get back to your husband, huh?" he asked.
"I'm not married." I declared. I tried to use the tone of my voice to indicate to him that he already knew the answer to that question.
"Anxious to get home to your boyfriend, then," was the reply.
I bit my lip. Would it have helped Hogan's memory if I told him I had thought he was my boyfriend? Or would it make him feel stupid?
"In this business I find it is better not to make close attachments," I eventually said.
Oh diary, every day I live with the pain of not listening to this statement. And Hogan's reply and attitude should have confirmed it for me.
"That's why I'm single. There's no one sitting under the apple tree waiting for me," Hogan had replied, as he closed the window that was his vantage point.
I wasn't surprised by his remark but I was surprised by his body language- he barely looked me in the eye. I wondered if he was hiding something. I tried to dismiss the thought but couldn't. Was there someone else as I had often feared? Quite possibly, yes. Remember how defensive Hogan got when I found a blonde hair on his jacket at the cabaret?
Still, it was preposterous that he could forget me so completely in a matter of months!
A thought came to me that the war was responsible for the memory loss. I have seen it happen before. You know my uncle served in the Great War. When he initially came home he was a different person. He was so traumatized he didn't recognize his wife for a week! We were so worried about him. Could that have happened to my Colonel?
With that thought in the back of mind, I closed my window and smiled at him.
"Now that we have that out of the way, we can relax." I said.
Yes, I made an unwise decision and allowed him to romance me again. I played along and pretended to not know him. By this time, I had concluded that any memory loss was out of his control.
It was a challenge but the mission was successful. I felt elated about how much I contributed to the effort. As I melted into one of his knee buckling kisses, I realized how much I missed him and I knew I was in love again. But that was until the rocket launch at Stalag 13.
I was so pleased when Hogan invited me to camp to watch it. The plan was for me to sneak into the camp and then leave as the commotion started. I came into the tunnels about one hour before roll call. Roll call happened and everybody went out. When they came back in, I shared a brief cup of coffee with Hogan and his four key men. I hid for a few minutes while Sergeant Schultz, the Barracks 2 guard, entered to gather all the men for their camp duties.
In the next half-hour, I watched as the Colonel and his men went about cleaning the compound of loose debris that might catch fire near the rocket launcher. That was when Colonel Klink and General Burkhalter came outside. You remember my mentioning Klink? I had a few disastrous "dates" with this man at the cabaret- all I need to say is that he was like an octopus.
Hogan approached them, his eyes were focused, not on the General, but on Klink. I swear I thought he was flirting with him – were my eyes getting that old and bad?
"Colonel, I'd like to register another protest." he said.
Klink looked at Hogan with a fierceness that was a tenderness too...it was an odd look, diary. When Klink aggressively courted me, he never looked at me like that.
"I'm not interested in your protest, Hogan." Klink said.
He replied dismissively but I noticed something I had never before noticed. Klink stood next to his superior, but further than required by status or deference. That was not the unusual part (Klink is a coward, but I do not blame him – all the high officers of the Third Reich are frightening). What was strange was the way both Colonels seemed to form a defense against Burkhalter, as if they were both Allies, protecting one another. Clearly, Klink preferred to be with the American.
Hogan shouted at the General:
"They're liable to bomb this camp if you don't move that rocket!"
As Burkhalter and Hogan exchanged angry words, I watched Klink silently support Hogan, without saying a word.
My shock increased when the two Colonels smiled at each other, as if sharing a joke, before Hogan rushed over to what looked like an ordinary oil drum. Diary, I could not see what he did, but I presume that he operated the hidden magnet. Burkhalter wanted to be the one who pressed the switch on the rocket, but when Klink begged the favor, the switch was passed over.
Even from the other side of the compound I could see the smirk on Hogan's face as he looked at Klink as the German Colonel took over the rocket's control. The rocket took off in the wrong direction and landed in the General's neighborhood, Klink babbling his confusion. Hogan's men cheered.
"Frankly, General, I thought it was a lousy neighborhood, anyway." Hogan said.
He smiled at Klink as he said it and that's when I thought I was going mad.
The look he gave Klink was the same one my returning home uncle gave his wife when he finally remembered who she was. It was a look of utter and complete love.
This is not happening, I told myself. At this point I was in denial although I wasn't going to be soon.
As I said, Burkhalter screamed at Klink, who shrunk himself smaller. The General seemed like he wanted to strike the poor fool but held himself back, as Hogan decided to stand right next to Klink. Burkhalter ordered his car and promptly sped away, presumably so he could look at the remains of his house.
Meanwhile, I could see and hear Hogan's men congratulate themselves. The radioman named Baker asked the others if they wanted to celebrate by bringing out the basketball hoop. After Newkirk joked about using Schultz as the ball, they all walked away (I guessed to gather supplies).
Diary, my heart was crushed by the events that happened next.
My gaze went back to Hogan and Klink. I didn't like the looks they were giving each other. I was getting concerned that the looks Hogan gave Klink were suspiciously similar...to the ones he had given me in the cabin. Even in profile, with their backs to me, I could see this!
Then as a worried Klink looked at the front gates, he placed a hand on the small of Hogan's back. Realizing what he had done, Klink quickly withdrew his hand, as if he made a mistake. Hogan responded by taking Klink's hand and draping it over his own shoulder! Hogan then mirrored the pose, squeezing Klink's upper arm and turning them around so that they could approach the Kommandantur...When Hogan gazed so fondly at Klink, I knew that look was one I could never share.
I received many looks from Hogan, but nothing like that one. I couldn't compete with that, diary. Who really could?
My woman's intuition was giving me crazy ideas about what they were thinking:
Ain't it fun to blow up your boss's house?
Hooo-gan, that was terrifying!
Oh come on, you know you enjoyed that!
I suppose that I did – I enjoy everything with you...
Everything, sir?
Everything...
I didn't know what was going on. Was Hogan aware that he loved Klink? What kind of love was it? Did Klink know? More importantly, why Klink?
My mind continued to swirl with questions. Were they secretly in a relationship? Did they want to be if they weren't? Did anyone else notice or know? I remembered my earlier encounter with Klink at the cabaret. Hogan made a hasty departure when Klink had entered. Naturally I thought this because Klink would notice his escape and Hogan didn't want to be caught red-handed. But what if it was something else? Was if it was because they were in a relationship and he didn't want to hurt Klink?
All I knew was that I had to get out of camp as fast as I could. I knew there was a chance I could get picked up by a patrol, but I wasn't thinking straight.
As no one would see me, I jumped up from my watching station and ran to the bunk-bed hiding the tunnel entrance.
Once I was in the tunnel, I surprised Olsen, who was on his way to escort me out of the Barracks and through their tunnels, as had been the plan. However, he thought that the Colonel would be with me, so before he could question me too deeply, I supplied that the Colonel had been detained by Klink (I marvel at myself, diary, that I could say that so calmly) and so I decided to leave on my own while troops would be distracted by the General's neighborhood in flames.
It was risky in broad daylight but I have never run so hard in my life. So I did make it to my safe house and that is the only reason I can write to you today.
Diary, I know this has been a strange and very sad tale to hear about. But I know what I saw. It's hard to believe but true- Hogan and Klink are in love. I am fairly sure this is why Hogan had no memory of me while in the cabin. But I'm not sure what part I played when I dated Hogan while at the nightclub. Was he ever interested in me? Or was he only interested in the information that I turned in?
Hopefully it is becoming clear why I entitled my entry as I did. I still find myself angry at him because he didn't tell me about Klink. But then again, I could asked myself.
Oh diary, what will become of me?
In conclusion, I never thought this would happen but I have started to accept it slowly. Even though I am brokenhearted, I hope Hogan and Klink can be happy together. As long as there are others (including my country's current leadership) being against them and their love, I need to be there for them and protect them.
Until I am able to write you again...
THE END