A.N. Please don't kill me! I'm so sorry I haven't update for a month or so, but school, part time job – if working for an hour or two every other day can be counted as it – and addiction to youtube took a lot of my time and I also had to write stories for this week, that I didn't write any updates or my two ongoing stories… I suck…

Buuuut! For a whole week now I will post something every day, there will be couple of more old updates and a new story! So stay tuned! ;}

"hahahaha these are great! I always imagined Zoro being so drunk that he became like a freaking genius. What do you think?" - Don'tletmadnesswin321

Genius Drunk

The strangest thing Sanji found about his husband wasn't his natural green hair. It also wasn't his non-healthy fascination with swordsmanship or the non-existing sense of direction. Of course those things weren't all that common in the community, but he got to like them and got used to them.

But the biggest mystery was how his husband got once he was drunk. It was like a hundred eighty degree turn in personality. He would suddenly become interested in numbers, money and politics. He would get into discussions about almost anything, suddenly pulling a shed load of information on every topic. He would agree or disagree with topic and would always prove his point of view so roughly that it even made the opposite party doubt their views.

The only thing was that they got drunk in not very 'normal' companies. A crazy mechanic, food maniac, ancient musician, underage doctor, chicken liar, an archeologist with murderous mind and magpie meteorologist. There were no normal discussions with them.

But there was one person Zoro never managed to pursue, and probably never will knowing Luffy's ways of viewing life, but Zoro just couldn't let it down.

"Eating all the food in the world is NOT an ultimate goal in life!"

Luffy shook his head. "It is! It had all of the requirements! It's a feat nobody has ever achieved, it takes a life time to complete and you can die without even achieving it!"

The green haired man shook his head in return. "You don't understand! Life achievement is something you can have at least a relative chance of achieving! Eating all food in the world is impossible! Food grows and withers every second! There's a worth of food for seven billion people, how do you plan eating all that?!"

The raven haired male laughed. "Silly Zoro! I know all that!"

"Then why do you keep telling me you want to eat all food in the world?!"

Luffy scrunched his nose thinking hard. "I phrased it badly. I don't want to eat all food, I want eat as much as I can… Ah! I want to eat all kinds of food in the world!" The raven head grinned. "I remembered how to phrase it now!"

Zoro groaned as he put his head on the table. "That's still barely possible."

"That's why I want to travel the world!"

The green haired man looked up at his younger drinking companion with 'Are you shitting with me?' gaze. "You need money for that, loads of money, where do you plan getting that?"

Luffy's smile could almost blind people around him. "I'm not planning anything!"

"Then how do you think you are going to travel?"

"I'm taking Law for planning!"

Zoro blinked and sat back studying Luffy's face. "You do know that he won't be able to solve of your problems, right?"

The younger male just beamed again. "I don't care! I just want him with me! And besides, he already agreed!"

As Zoro gapped Sanji finally found a place to interrupt the two friends. "I think you broke him."

Luffy just laughed delighted. "Then I trust you to fix him!" The blond just rolled his eyes and pushed away the glass of Vodka&Orange cocktail, meanwhile the other table occupant stood up. "Well, I will be going then! See you at my departure party!"

Sanji waved back. "See you." With Luffy out of his sight the chef focused on his husband poking him in the ribs. "Hey Marimo, what's the matter?"

Zoro started hyperventilating. "Law agreed? He made Law agree? The guy who's the biggest 'no nonsense' guy I know?"

The blond patted his back. "Relax, relax moss-head, what is Murphy's Law?"

The green haired man immediately answered without even thinking. "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."

"And what is third Newton's law of motion?"

Zoro closed his eyes relaxing. "When one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body."

Sanji grinned, Zoro never ceased to amuse him with his knowledge on these things, usually he wouldn't even know who newton was… "Better now? No brain frying because you can't understand it?"

His husband glared at him and sighed. "Whatever, are we leaving too or do you want to get out of this VIP room and see what good can the dance floor offer?"

The blond leaned in to his husband seducing smile on his lips. "Now you're talking my language, I wouldn't miss a chance to grind into you in public and not get arrested for it."

Zoro laughed as he stood up and extended his hand to Sanji. "Let's go then."

Taking the hand a though crossed Sanji's mind – even geniuses – or drunk geniuses – can be seduced…

A.N. Not sure how to portray a genius, but I hope my goal was achieved! ^-^