The wind was blowing in his face. Little snowflakes flew in the brisk air. B walked along the roof, a tall figure approach him with a half smile. B stared at it for a while, very confused. He felt like he was looking at a reflection of himself. Messy black hair and dark black eyes stared right into him through the white snow.
"L?" B called, trying not to drop the cigarette he had in his mouth.
The figure simply stared at him still, its face going blank. It raised his hand at him and waved, before turning around and walking away into the white blur.
"L wait!"
B franticly ran after it, straining his eyes to see through all the white. He tried not to slip on the wet snow beneath him. It was useless because it was faster than him, soon vanishing from sight. He suddenly stopped in his tracks, shaking his head. Nothing was there. L was not here. L hadn't been to the house in years. The wind whirled in his ears. He had imagined it all. B clenched his fist and stared angrily into the distance.
"Why did you leave?!" He yelled, frustrated.
B threw a punch, his hand colliding with a window. The glass shattered and fell to the ground, pieces of it lodged in his hand. Drops of bright red blood fell onto the white snow at his feet, and he finally realized how cold it was outside. He couldn't feel his toes.
….
How could L just leave him like that? Who does he think he is? L's departure was so abrupt, B didn't know what to do with himself. B always needed someone to keep him anchored down, to keep him sane, and thats what L was there for. He cared for B; he listened to him and actually understood. When L left, he lost that anchor, and B became hostile towards everyone. No one understood him in that house. Then K appeared. She brought him back down to normalcy, but B felt like she was slipping away too. B just didn't understand it. Why did everyone he cared about drift away from him? What was he doing wrong?
B blew a cloud of hot smoke from his mouth and laid back on the couch. The air in the attic was cloudy and gray. B looked to his left, 7 cigarette butts decorated the windowsill beside him. He finished the one he was smoking and added it to the pile, he must've been thinking really hard to have smoked that many cigarettes. B only did this when he was stressed out. He exhaled heavily, seeing his breath in the cold air. When he breathed in again he started coughing, cold air replacing the warm smoke that was in his lungs. He sat up and continued coughing, laying back down when he was finished, his hand resting on his chest.
"B."
He turned around and saw K standing a few feet away from him in the darkness. He squinted at her and looked around, trying to see if A was with her, but she was alone.
"How'd you get up here?" He asked as she came closer to him.
"I picked the lock." She said with a small smile.
"I've told you not to come up here."
She shrugged and walked up to him as he sat up on the couch. She shivered and looked around.
"Why are you here anyways?" He asked, not looking directly at her.
"You jumped out the window."
"So what."
"You're so red." She said, placing her hand on his cheek. "So cold..."
B smacked her hand away. "Don't touch me right now." He tried to light his cigarette.
K, looking hurt, snatched it out of his hand and broke it in half.
"Are you serious."
"What the hell is your problem?" K asked him. "You're so nasty lately."
"What the hell is your problem?" He growled back. "You never even talk to me anymore you're always with A."
"What are you even talking about?!"
"You're always in the library with A. Outside with A. Doing homework with A. Talking to A. You are always with him. Every time I see you." B pulled out another cigarette and shoved K away when she tried to take it from him. "If you two are so happy together, why don't you just get married."
"Are you seriously mad at me?!" K asked. "You're always up here sleeping or smoking or whatever and if you're not here you're with Murphy!"
B was silent. He still couldn't feel his toes and wiggled them.
"How do you expect me to do anything with you when you're always isolating yourself from me?" K asked. "You could spend time with us but you choose not to."
B shut his eyes and tried to block out her voice. K obviously didn't get it. Us? No. B hated A. He couldn't bear being around K while A was there. But he guessed she was too blinded by A's amazing personality to realize how annoying he was. B shook his head, tossing his cigarette in her general direction. He stood up and made his way towards the door.
"Dinner's ready, by the way."
"Whatever."
...
B picked at the food on his plate with his fork. Everyone was watching him. They were acting like they weren't, but they weren't fooling B. He knew. He pushed the green peas into a pile in the corner of the dish, isolating them from the rest of his food.
Disgusting, he thought.
Apparently B was a little underweight, and Murphy wanted him to eat more. Murphy wanted B to do a lot of things. B never really ate much and he especially didn't eat green peas. He watched as everyone ate slowly, but still watched B in the corners of their eyes. He knew he had to eat, if not, Murphy would most likely put him on some type of appetite stimulant. More pills. B reluctantly put some rice on his fork and put in in his mouth, holding it there for awhile. He wasn't even hungry; he didn't feel like it and he was too upset. Some strawberry jam would probably make him feel better.
Roger watched as B swallowed his food and looked content, fixing his glasses. "So Murphy, how have things been with you?"
The wind howled outside and snow stuck to the big window at the front of the room.
The man finished the food that was in his mouth and turned to Roger. "Very well actually, thank you, and thank you for allowing me to stay for dinner, it's greatly appreciated."
"Oh not at all it's my pleasure."
It was quiet again and you could hear everyone chewing and the wind outside talking. B wasn't stupid. They really thought he was dumb. The only reason Murphy had stayed was to make sure B was eating well. B didn't care obviously, because pretending to like food was the easy part. Trying not to lose his temper every 5 seconds was what B was worried about.
He had his left hand hidden under the table. B thought about the window he had broken earlier. He would have to find a way to cover that up.
They were staring at him again and it was annoying him. He felt their eyes boring into his skull.
"B aren't you hungry?" Murphy asked.
"Yes it's cooling off." He continued to push everything around with his fork.
They went back to talking, and B continued to sit. As everyone else began to speak, B stared across the table at K. She was sitting right across from him, but next to A of course. They were talking and laughing of course. B didn't pick up much of the conversation except for one part.
"...So glad we're friends K." A said with a laugh.
"Yeah." She saw B glaring at them.
Ew. A made B sick. Listening to him speak was tiresome. So glad we're friends K. Ugh. He was only saying that because B was sitting right there. B wanted to jump across the table and push A off his chair, taking his place next to K. Yes, that was where he belonged.
Murphy stopped what he was saying and looked at B, noticing him scowling at the pair across from him.
"B eat your food." He said, looking concerned.
Vienna turned her head sharply to look at Murphy, then at B. She squinted at him. "I haven't seen him eat once today." Vienna stated as B's red eyes slowly looked at her.
"It's still kind of hot." He said quietly.
"Is it really?"
B gripped his fork tightly. They were so irritating. He wanted to leave. B bent over and started shoving fork fulls of food into his mouth, practically inhaling it. He scarfed it all down, sitting up and wiping his mouth afterwards. Everyone was frozen, staring at him. He thought he was going to suffocate, all these people looking at him. B pushed his plate to the middle of the table and stood.
"Thank you for the meal."
...
B was hunched over the toilet, throwing up the contents of his stomach. He was angry; so angry he was making himself sick. Why the hell does A have to act that way? It's as if he knows that it bothers B, he can see it in his eyes. And why does Vienna act that way? Any everyone else for that matter? What if B doesn't feel like eating then what?
He was asking himself too many questions. There was a knock at the door.
"B can I come in?"
"No." He groaned, throwing up again.
The door opened anyways and K rushed to his side, placing her hand on his back.
"Don't touch me." He mumbled, spitting into the toilet.
He shoved her hand away as he bent over again, gagging. Tears stung in his eyes.
"Fuck." He spat.
"Why are you so sick?" K asked. She was so confused. "Did the food make you sick?"
"I'm not sick." He breathed. "I'm simply upset."
"And you're throwing up?"
He placed his hands on his knees and puked again, this time all that came up was bile. B stood over the toilet for a few more moments before wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve and sitting on the floor, his back against the wall. K sat on her knees next to him, being careful not to touch him. B's injured hand started to sting, and he noticed all the puke covering it. K noticed too and jumped up.
"B thats gross." She said looking through the cabinets. "You're going to get an infection."
He shrugged. K sat back down next to him with a wet cloth, that smelled like hydrogen peroxide. She took his hand and he immediately tried to pull away.
"K, please." He said, trying to crawl away from her.
"No, B, just-" She pulled his arm forcefully.
He gave in. She wiped his hand off with the rag, cleaning the blood dirt and puke from his skin. It stung a bit but B could handle it.
"You broke the window, didn't you?"
"Don't tell anyone."
"Of course not."
She put the rag down but was still holding his hand. She looked him in the face but he was just staring down at their hands. He liked the way they looked.
"Are you mad at me?" She asked quietly.
B shrugged again.
He felt her arms wrap around him as she engulfed him in a tight hug. She buried her face in his shirt. "I know I've been a bit distant and I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you." She said, her voice muffled.
B felt weird. He sort of still wanted to be mad at K but he had no reason to be because she was apologizing. He was still angry and didn't exactly know why. She took her arms from around him and sat back.
"And guess what A told me?"
B was uninterested. He didn't really care about A or anything that came out of his mouth. It probably wasn't important anyways. He looked over at the wall. K figured he wouldn't respond but told him anyways.
"Well, A told me that Roger told him that Wammy said he should be returning within the year... along with L."
B's eyes went wide and K smiled.
...
sorry I take a century to update but I am a very very very busy person (college stuff) and its kind of hard to update as quickly as i'd like to. I'll try to update sooner but no promises!