Journal 15
Disclaimer-I don't own
Talk-normal
Talk-3 thinking
"Talk"-3 talking
Talk-singing
Warnings for 3's temper and language
A/N: Thank you all for the support for the last chapter. For those of you are curious about 3's human name, it is a bit of a pun. Polaris is known as the "North Star" that guide's traveler's to their destinations and since Dipper found 3, she's been guiding him though out the summer. Also, two stars from the Big Dipper can lead you to Polaris's location. Dirgel is Welsh for mystery and pronounced 'deer gal' and if you've seen Monster Falls, Dipper is usually a fawn.
Scaryoke
1, 2, and 3 watched silently as Stan adjusted the portal so it wouldn't shake the home too much. 1, 2? Do you know what the hell is going on? 3 asked her siblings. I vaguely recall something similar occurred years ago, but my memory isn't as it once was, 2 replied. 1 just remained quiet.
Stan looked proudly at the portal, "Thirty long years and it's all let up to this. My greatest achievement! …Probably should've worn pants."
3 cringed a bit when the machine spouts out some fire that hits Stan in the shoulder and he pats himself on his shoulder to get rid of the fire, "Feisty." He said smiling. "I like it."
He starts flipping switches and looks at readouts. "If I finally pull this off, it'll all have been worth it. I just have to keep playing it cool, if anyone finds out about this..."
He looks at a picture of Dipper and Mabel he has. "Yeah, right. I've come this far. Who could possibly catch me now?" He shrugged it off as he pulls on a glove and pulls a switch labeled Max.
Stan while the machine powers up, he picked up 3 and went to his office to clone 3 to pass the fake one off to Dipper with the only witness of Waddles
"You didn't see nothing!" He went back to the basement and 3 waited until he fell into a deep sleep, then transformed into a human, much to her brother's surprise.
"This is new." 2 said shocked and they could feel 1's conscious on over drive, trying to work the new variable into his predictions. 3 grinned and grabbed them, sneaking away while Stan grunted in his sleep. She quickly photocopied them and snuck into the twin's room to store the amused 2 and impassive 1 under Dipper's bed. She returned to the passage and placed the fake Journal's on the table and waited for the alarm clock to wake him up.
Stan jolted awake and remembered, "Oh right. Showtime."
He placed 3 under a cooler and waited for the twins to wake up and the crowd to come to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack
At noon, the Pines family was having a small press conference in the Shack and Stan announced
"Welcome, to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack!" The crowd cheered. "We're here to celebrate we defeated that skunk Lil Gideon!" He grinned as he pulled out a left over Lil Gideon doll.
"Boo!"
"Please, please. Boo harder!"
"BOO!"
"But I didn't catch that pork chop all alone. These two scamps deserve SOME of the glory." He said ruffling Dipper's head and Mabel elbows him playfully. "
"Okay, okay. Most of the glory."
"Smile for the camera!" Toby said holding up a…painted cinder block? How is he a respected journalist?
"Your camera's a cinder block, Toby."
"I just wanna to be a part of things..." He said sadly.
Shandra Jimenez cuts in as says, "Smile for a REAL camera."
"Everybody say 'Something stupid!'" Mabel said as they all made silly poses for the camera.
"By the way, have any of you seen Miss Dirgel? We have yet to find her."
"She is lives in the next town." Dipper said quickly, hoping Stan hadn't done anything to 2.
"And don't forget to go to the after-party tonight at eight." Stan announced pulling out a poster for the event, having the attention pulled to him then the absent 3.
"We're doing a Karaoke bonanza, people! Light! Music! Enchantment! And an amazing karaoke-performance by our family band plus Polaris, "Love Patrol Alpha"!" Mabel announced, holding out her own poster as the males and 3 cringed.
"I don't know about that."
"I never agreed to that ever."
"I rather eat a barf fairy."
"Too late! I wrote your names on the list! It's happening!"
Wendy then appears, blowing an air horn to draw the crowd her way, "Buy your ticket people! You know you don't have anything going on in your lives! I'm talking to you pizza guy! Don't lame out on me!" She shouted, leading the crowd outside to the ticket booth outside.
Stan sighed contently, "The town loves us, we finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet. Everything is finally going my way."
Dipper nervously walked up to Stan and asked, "Hey, Grunkle Stan. Now that we have a moment. I've been meaning to ask you for my journal back."
"Huh? Journal?" He 'searches' himself for the journal and then produced the real 3 from under a cooler." Oh! Hehe! You mean this old thing! It was so boring I couldn't even finish it." He lied handing 3 over.
"Wait, you're just gonna give it to me? Just like that?" Dipper asked, playing his part.
"What else do you want? A kiss on the cheek?"
"I…I gotta go."
He grabs 3 and Mabel and ran up to the attic and locked the door and closed the shades.
"Okay 3, we're clear." He said and 3 transformed into her human form.
"Thank God, I was having flashbacks to the cubby." 3 said, stretching. "Before I forget," She grabbed 1 and 2 from under the bed and set them in front of the twins.
"Nice to see you again, Dipper." 2 greeted warmly, "How is that wound, by the way?"
Dipper winced in memory, absently rubbing his abdomen. "It's healing; anyway, what is Stan up to?"
3 shrugged helplessly. "I don't know exactly what he's up to, but he is working on a giant machine that looks like a portal."
"A portal!?" the twins said, astonished.
"At least, that's what me and 2 think."
"What about 1?" Mabel asked, poking the silent 1.
"The lug hasn't spoken to us; he's too caught up in his predictions to speak to us." 3 said dismissive.
"Now what?" Mabel asked, causing 3, 2, and Dipper to look at her curious. "We've defeated Gideon; got 3 a body, and retrieved 1 and 2 from Stan what do we do now?"
"I have an answer to that." Dipper announced. "We're half way through the summer, and still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on 1, 2, and 3. Grunkle Stan is also after them and created a portal using them. But the question is why?"
"Gideon believed that we held the secret to ultimate power." 2 began. "But we don't have a complete memory of our time in Gravity Falls, just formative memories and sensations as our consciousness were just developing."
"The first clear memory I have was Father hiding me in that cubby with a terrified look on his face. Gideon also said that Father found power that no one should be able to control; maybe the brat was right and he had to disappear to prevent him from being corrupted by this so called power?" 3 added.
Dipper was pacing up and down the room in deep thought. "That's the thing! Who wrote it? Where is he and how did he discover this power? What was Bill talking about when he said 'everything was going to change'? There's something HUGE going on right under our noses. And it's time we stop goofing around and get to the bottom of it. We have to find the writer; he will most likely have answers to our questions."
"What I want to know is why that Bill kept on saying that I 'appeared ahead of schedule.' He must have some sort of plan involving us."
"What do you mean?" 2 asked.
"Remember when Gideon summoned Bill? When we chased him into the Dreamscape, he referred to us in oddly specific nicknames; Mabel was Shooting Star, Soos was Question Mark, Dipper was Pine Tree, and I was Hand."
Mabel then said, "Bro, I know you want to do this, but we don't have a lot to go on. Almost all of 3's pages are blank. There's nothing left to discover! What can we do?"
"Why don't we use 1?" 2 pointed out. "He predicts what will happen."
"O-oh, yeah I've forgotten about that!" Dipper facepalmed.
"Don't even think about it." A deep voice rang out.
"1! You've finally came back to Earth!" 3 said in surprise then frowned, "What do you mean 'don't even think about it!?' Don't you want to find Father!?"
"3…all of my pages are blank."
"What!?" They yelled and Dipper opened 3 to find nothing but blank pages. "What happened!?"
"Bill was telling the truth, something has changed and now I can't accurately predict what will happen now." 1 said regretfully.
Dipper sighed and put down 1 and looked at 3, "So we don't have a lot to go on. That's okay; we can work with what we got." He then sighed and laid down, "I just feel like I'm one puzzle piece away from figuring out everything."
"It's like one of those mystery novels; we just need to follow the clues." 3 said optimistically.
"Don't worry Dipper! Lord Mystery Ham is on the case! 'I play by me own rules! Wot? Wot?'" Mabel said lifting up Waddles.
"Why do we even tell you these things?" Dipper then paused and asked, "Do you hear that?" Dipper asked as he heard a car pulling up, they gathered at the window to see a black car pull up and two men step out of the car and look at the Shack.
"It looks like a government car." 2 said apprehensive.
"Maybe Gideon did something? I mean he did travel around the country, maybe he tried to do something similar here somewhere else and the FBI is investigating?" 3 asked, cocking her head to the side.
They went downstairs to see Stan closing the shop early and chasing away customers. "The Mystery Shack is now closed, everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!"
"Grunkle Stan, what's happening?" Mabel asked, confused.
"Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop."
"It's quite suspicious." Polaris said. (A/N: I'll refer to 3 as Polaris when there are people around her as will the twins.)
Stan was walking nervously in the gift shop and paused when he noticed Polaris. "When did you get here? The shops closed! I will not hesitate to use the hose on a child!"
"I was with the twins." She said as a door bell ring is heard and a few knocks after it.
Stan nervously opens the door with a fake smile, "Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you?" Stan takes out a snow globe and an U.F.O key chain of his jacket. "Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?" Stan said as he takes out a five dollar bill out of his sleeve as he begins to sweat. Is he bribing them?
The two men show their government I.D. card.
"My name is Agent Powers and this is Agent Trigger, we're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town."
Agent Trigger points at Stan and whispers, "Activity!"
"Mysterious activity? In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!" Stan asked sweating.
"I assure you I'm not. I was born with a rare disorder that made me physically incapable of experiencing humor." Powers deadpanned.
"Does that even exist?" Polaris whispered to Dipper as Stan laughed.
"I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth. Now if you'll excuse us we are conducting an investigation." Powers said as they entered the Shack.
"Investigation!" Trigger growled and followed his partner.
Dipper turned to Polaris and said, "Did you hear that!? They're investigating the town!"
"Yeah…As much as I don't like it, we might need their help." She said unhappily.
Dipper ran over to the Feds and called, "Wait! Wait, did you guys say you're investigating the mysteries of this town?"
"That information is classified but yes. Look. Between you and me I believe there is a conspiracy of paranormal origin all connected to this town. We're just one lead away from blowing the lid of this entire mystery." Powers told him.
"Are you kidding me? We're investigating the exact same thing, my sister, friend and I! We found a Journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we could crack the case!" Dipper informed him as Polaris nodded
Agent Powers gave him a card and said, "If you have evidence of these claim, we should talk."
"We could talk right now! Please, please. C-come in! We have so much to show you!" Dipper motions them to come closer.
Stan grimaced and stood between them, "Hehe, I'm sorry agents. The kid has an overactive imagination. And like a sweating problem. You know." He leaned over and whispered, "Girl problems." Motioning at a blushing Polaris.
"Ha-ha! Zing!" Mabel laughed.
"Paranormal town stuff is just part of gift shop lore. Sells more tickets you know?" Stan snapped his fingers a Soos sticks 'What is the Mystery Shack?' bumper stickers to both agents and puts some funny antennae on their heads.
"We have other spots to investigate. We'll be on our way." Powers said unamused and left.
Agent Trigger stole 10 bobble heads and growled, "I'm confiscating this for evidence."
"Smart move."
"More like abusing your power." Polaris hissed as Dipper ran after them, "Wait! No, wait! We got so much to talk about!"
Stan stops Dipper and said, "Hold it kiddo. Trust me, the last thing you want around during a party, is cops. I'm confiscating that card." He takes away the agents card and places it in a box of things.
"Now how's about you being a normal kid. Flirt with that girl next to you, or steal a pie off a window sill." Stan said offhandedly as he walked away.
"But Grunkle Stan! You don't understand!"
"And don't go talking to those agents."
"Ugh! That could've been my big break!" Dipper groaned, fisting his hair.
"Bro, maybe Grunkle Stan is right. We're throwing a party tonight! Can't you go one night without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?"
"We never raised the dead!" 3 said defensively.
"I'm not gonna raise the dead. I just need a chance to show those agents 3 in book form!" He yelped, motioning at a still blushing 3.
"Trust me Dipper, the only book you two need tonight is right here: Boop!" She holds up her "Karaoke Songs" book.
Dipper and 3 grimaced as they stared at the book in Dipper's arms.
Mabel raised her arms and cheered, "I say Kara-, and you say -oke! Kara-. Kara-. Kara. I could do this all day."
3 sighed and muttered, "Oke…but I'm not singing." She warned as Mabel cheered and glomped her.
"Too late, I've already added you!"
That night, Stan, 3, Dipper, Soos, and Mabel are working on the outside party as Mabel shoots a confetti canon at Stan.
"Well, the confetti cannon works! And the karaoke machine has all the best songs! 'We Built This Township on Rock and Roll', 'Danger Lane to Highway Town', 'Taking Over Midnight' by &NDRA!"
"Listen kid, you do not want to hear this voice singing. Trust me." Stan informed her.
"Grunkle Stan, karaoke is not about sounding good, it's about sounding terrible, TOGETHER." She said with wide eyes as 3, Dipper, and Wendy set up posters.
Wendy was laughing and looked at Dipper, "Check it out! These black lights make my teeth look scary. It's like a crime scene, in my mouth! C'mon, you love it."
"Maybe it's time to invest in toothpaste." Polaris snarked and Wendy punched her shoulder, laughing.
Dipper just sighed, "It's not fair. Finally we meet someone who can help us solve the mysteries of this town, and Stan confiscates their card."
"Dude, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm pretty sure Stan hides, like, everything in his room."
"How would you know that?"
"Worked for Stan for years, Aris." She said ruffling her hair and giving Polaris a nickname.
"Ugh, if we go into Stan's room we could get in so much trouble." Dipper groaned.
"Yeah, you're probably right. That's what makes it fun, dummy!" She said as she placed a party hat on Dipper's hat. They snuck away when Mabel, Grenda, and Candy met up and went up to Stan's room. A piece of wood nailed to the door reads 'STAN'S ROOM'. A sign hanging on a nail below it reads 'NO MINORS ALLOWED'. A picture of Dipper with a cross through it and 'THAT MEANS YOU!' written on it is pinned to the door. A 'Do not disturb' sign is on the doorknob.
"He really doesn't want you in his room." Polaris deadpanned.
"Yeah, I'll keep an eye out for Stan. You two go rustle through his weird old man biz."
Dipper and 3 opened the door and walked in, "Alright, Grunkle Stan. Where did you hide that card?" 3 opened the drawer and called, "Nothing."
Dipper opens the closet." Nothing." He opens a chest containing Fully Clothed Women magazine and Lady Swimwear magazine. "Ew! Pretending I never saw that." They both end up in front of a portrait of Stan. "Wait a minute... He moves the portrait to reveal a secret compartment with a box labelled 'Contraband' in it. "Ha-ha, yes! We found it!" They carefully take out the box and pulls out Agent Powers' card. "I got it!" He picks up the phone and dials the number on the card.
"Hi, this is Dipper. Th-the kid from the Mystery Shack. The one with the, um, 'sweating problem'. I have that journal I wanted to show you!"
"I'm a hundred percent positive." He said after a pause then Stan pushed past Polaris and ended the call.
"Stan! Where was Wendy!?" Polaris asked.
"Sorry, Dipper, Aris. I got distracted." She said, guiltily raising her phone to show a shirtless Thompson.
"Kids, why did you call those agents? I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times! There's nothing 'supernatural' going on in Gravity Falls." Stan growled as he took the phone from Dipper and hung up.
"Yes, there is! After everything that's happened you have to know that by now."
"You're cataracts are in the way of seeing what's in front of you!"
"All I know is that your dumb obsession is gonna get us all in trouble one of these days. Now go enjoy the rest of the party, because when it's over - you're grounded! And you, young lady!" He said pointing at Polaris, "I-um…well, I'll think of something after the party! Now move you 3!"
Dipper, 3, and Wendy walk away as Dipper looks at Stan angrily.
3 placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "Well, we're still meeting up with Powers and Trigger. What Stan doesn't know won't hurt him." 3 grinned.
Dipper nodded and 3 returned to her book state and ran into the clearing just as the agents where pulling up.
"Guys, I'm so glad to see you. Working together we can crack the all of the big questions of Gravity Falls!" Agents look at each other and asked, "Where's your girlfriend?"
"Huh? Oh, Polaris is at home." Dipper said, implication flying over his head in his excitement. "Trust me, this book is the lead you've been looking for." He gives 3 to Agents and they start reading. "I'm thinking full scale investigation. Forensics, researchers. Do you guys have a helicopter?"
"Kid, I'd love to believe you, but this just looks like more junk from your uncle's gift shop. I mean, Leprecorn? I can't be the only one who thinks that's not funny." Powers said skeptically.
"I can confirm. Not funny."
"No, no, no! It's real, I swear! I can show you! Am I saying that right?" Dipper said desperately as they turned away and 3 fumed angrily. How dare those agents act all high and mighty! We've been here way before they drove in; they should be on their hands and knees groveling for our help.
"Your uncle was right about that overactive imagination of yours. We've got paperwork to do, kid."
"Boring. Paperwork."
Dipper growled and yelled, "WAIT! This book is real."
"Maybe we should show them undeniable proof." 3 growled in anger.
"Gnomes, Cursed Objects, Spells! LISTEN! Uh, uh, Corpus Levitus Diablo Dominus Mondo Vicium!"
The 'Vicium' echoes through the air, as a large gust builds up. The ground starts shaking.
"Huh?"
"AAH!"
A huge crack forms between Dipper's feet he jumps away and lands near the Agents. Green smoke comes out of the crack and zombie slowly climbs out and roars.
"Ha, a zombie! A real, actual, zombie. Spooky journal, 100% real. Now can we work together?"
"It's not gnomes!" 3 said cheerfully.
"Mother of all that is holy!"
"What do we do?"
"It's just one zombie, trust me I see things like this all the time." Dipper assured as he scanned 3.
3 looked down and yelled, "Look out!" Dipper jumps out of the way, hissing as his stiches pulled as the zombie roars in his face and tried to eat his brains.
Agent Powers Quickly hits the zombie with a rock, so the zombie gets knocked out.
"Whew Oh, good thing it was just that one."
The ground starts shaking again more cracks form, more green smoke, and suddenly hundreds of zombies appear and start going after Dipper, Agent Trigger, and Agent Powers.
"Oh shit! Is this a burial ground!?"
"Oh my gosh! You guys can help right!?" Dipper asked, turning to the stunned agents.
"Kid, we've been chasing the paranormal for years now but we have never seen anything like this before!"
"Get down!" Trigger yelled as a zombie tackled him. Then the zombies pull the agents into the darkness of the forest. Dipper and 3 are now by themselves.
"OH MY GOSH, WHAT HAVE WE DONE!?" Dipper and 3 screamed into the night as they ran back to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper and 3 ran into the party and sees only Soos and Mabel are the only ones there. Mabel glanced behind them and stares at 3 and Dipper.
"Dipper, what's the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?" Mabel asked angrily.
"Mabel, now isn't really-"
"Up! Not now, 3!"
"Raise the dead."
"And what did you do?"
"Raise the dead."
The zombies lurched closer as Mabel and Dipper back up as Soos heroically steps in front to protect them.
"Stay back dudes, this is about to get intense."
The zombie knocks over a table, forcing them into a dead end, as the zombies surround them
"AHHHHHHH!" They screamed.
"Sorry, one second." He takes out his phone and takes a picture, "You got to admit this is pretty cool."
"NOT NOW SOOS!"
"Zombies!" Dipper screamed
"Don't panic. Maybe they're just a very ugly flash mob!?"
A zombie swings and almost hits their heads before they duck. They run behind Soos while screaming.
"Dudes, stay calm. I have been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I see, I literally know all there is to know about to avoid zombies." Soos said bravely as a zombie bites him and Soos turned.
"Second thought, gonna flip the script. Can I, eat your brains? Yea or Nay? Seeing some Yea faces over here." Zombie Soos said as the twins and 3 screamed and ran with Waddles trailing after them.
They run around the side of the house, Soos and the other zombies in slow pursuit. Dipper slices through a zombie with his shovel.
"Quick! The golf cart!" Dipper pointed as the zombies attacked it and tore it apart. "Aw, come on!"
"Hoo, that's a bummer. Good news for me though, ha ha."
"Soos!"
"Traitor!"
"Sorry, dude, I just really want those brains!"
"Stay back!"
Dipper hits a colorful disco ball at the zombies. One of the zombies catches it in its mouth and swallows it, sending rays of colorful light shining out between its ribs. They continue advancing toward the twins and 3, who stood paralyzed in fear.
"Give it up, dudes! Your fighting only makes us look more rad!" Soos said as he advanced on them.
"What do we do? Where's Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked.
"How's he supposed to help? He doesn't even believe in the supernatural!"
"He's probably with the portal!"
A zombie lunged at Mabel and she bashed it with her karaoke machine, "Take that, sucka! This things a surprisingly good weapon!" She said as it took its head off.
More zombies approach behind them. The kids scream and run into the Shack.
"Quick! We need to board up all the windows!"
They pile things in front of the door, blocking it. The zombies press against the door and begin to break it.
"Okay, maybe that'll hold them." Dipper said hopefully as they backed away the window suddenly crashes open and Zombie Soos leans in.
"Hey dudes! By the way, I taught the zombies how to get into the fuse box. Among these dudes I'm like a genius, ha-ha!" The Shack lights go out, with red light pouring in from outside. Zombies start climbing in through the window
"Get those brains, dawg!"
They ran for the other door, just as a zombie hand smashes through. They gasped and backs into the corner with Mabel.
"Dipper, isn't there something in 3 about defeating zombies?!" Mabel yelled, clutching Waddles and her Karaoke machine.
"NO! THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE ABOUT WEAKNESSES! This can't be happening. I wanted answers so bad I put everyone in danger. Now we're toast, it's all my fault and no one can save us!" Dipper groaned as he place his hand over his reopened wound from the running and exhortation.
"No it's my fault! I was so angry at the agents; I let my anger cloud my judgment." 3 said, working herself up to enter her snapped form when a baseball bat smashes the head of the one reaching for Dipper.
A boot crushes its head and the twins and 3 look up to see Stan with torn up clothes and his hat missing. He glares at the twins and panted, "YOU TWO! ATTIC! NOW!"
"Gru- Grunkle Stan?!" Dipper asked, stuttering.
"I said NOW! All right, you undead jerks, you ready to die twice?" Stan said menacingly as the zombies approached and began smashing them with the bat.
"The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is me! Take that! And that! Eat it, no eyes!" The zombie growls and bites the baseball bat in half only to be punched by Stan's brass-knuckle-wearing fists. "ANYONE ELSE WANNA PIECE?"
"Aim for the head!"
He continues bashing zombies than backs up the stairs as more enter from the front door. At the top of the stairs he pushes over a grandfather clock with a grunt, sending it tumbling into the horde of zombies. The twins and 3 run into their room and slam the door. They back away as something starts breaking in. The door opens to reveal Stan, who coughs and clutches his side.
"Oh! Ow. Everything hurts." He grunted as he turns and closes the door, barricading it with a chair.
"Grunkle Stan, that was amazing! Are you alright! Heh heh, well, at least you can't deny magic exists anymore, right?" Dipper said nervously.
Stan paused, and then sighed as he turned to Dipper. "Kid, I've always known."
"Wait, what are you talking about?"
"I'm not an idiot, Dipper! Of course this town is weird! And the one thing I know about that weirdness is that it's dangerous!" A zombie's hand breaks through the door. The group backs into the center of the room. "I've been lying about it to try to keep you away from it. To try to protect you from it!"
A zombie breaks through the window. Stan punches it and watches it fall to the ground, where a crowd of zombies is staring up at the Shack. More start crawling up the outside walls.
"Looks like I didn't lie well enough." He said sadly as they backed away.
"What do we do, what do we do?" Mabel asked, frantic as Dipper paced, holding 3. "Well, normally 3 would help us, but there's nothing in there about defeating zombies! It's hopeless!"
Mabel froze, looking at 3 and pointed, "Wait, wait, wait! The text! It's glowing in the black light!"
"What?" He flips through 3, with Mabel and Grunkle Stan watching. The pages are covered with previously hidden notes.
"O-oh…Yeah! Father wrote these before he disappeared."
"All this time I thought I knew all 3's secrets, but they're written in some kind of invisible ink!" Dipper said excited as Stan whispered to himself, "This is it! 'Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect three part harmony.' Three part harmony, how can we create that? I have a naturally high-pitched scream..." Dipper said, offhand
"I don't have lungs."
"I can make noises with my body. Sometimes intentionally."
Mabel grinned and said, "Boys, boys. I think you're both missing the obvious solution."
They went up to the roof and Mabel tested the microphone, "Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? "
The zombies gathered outside. Dipper, 3, Stan, and Mabel are on the roof awning, each holding a microphone.
"Zombies and gentlemen! I'm Mabel, they're Dipper and Stan, and together we're Love Patrol Alpha! Unfortunately, our guest star, Polaris couldn't make it, but we're still preforming."
"I never agreed to that name." Dipper muttered.
"Hit it!" Mabel yelled, playing, "Taking over Midnight."
"Uh, Mabel, our lives may not be worth this." Stan groused
"'Friday night, and we're gonna party 'til dawn. Don't worry daddy, I've got my favorite dress on?!' Mabel, this is stupid!" Dipper growled, covering the mic.
"'Roll in to the party, the boys are looking our way/ we just keep dancing/ we don't care what they say! And all the boys are getting up in my face-'Aah! Guys, we have to sing together or it won't work!" Mabel called over.
"'Boys are a bore, let's show them the door.'" Stan reluctantly sang.
"'We're takin' over the dance floor! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like!'" A sound wave goes out, causing the zombies to cover their ears. A few of their heads explode. "'Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!'"
"Either its working or you three sing really badly."
"'We're queens of the disco! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!'"
"'Takin' over tooniiiiight!'" The guitar riff plays, a zombie pops up and Dipper screams.
"Dipper!"
"DUCK!" Mabel called as she shot it with confetti cannon. Its head lands in the punchbowl as the rising sun illuminates the corpses of all the zombies. "Thank you! We'll be here all night!"
"Deal with it, zombie idiots! Ahahahahaha!" Stan laughed at the corpses scattered around the grounds and the family cheered.
"PINES! PINES! PINES! PINES!"
Stan puts on his fez back on as Dipper and Polaris walk up to them.
"I'm sorry about this, guys. I totally ruined everything."
"I'm sorry for helping Dipper break into your room, Mr. Pines."
"Dipper, Polaris, are you kidding me? I got to sing karaoke with my two favorite people in the world! No party could ever top that."
"Kids, listen. This town is crazy. So you need to be careful. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold on to that spooky journal; as long as you promise me you'll only use it for self-defense, and not go looking for trouble."
"Okay, as long as you promise me that you don't have any other bombshell secrets about this town." Dipper said, knowing that Stan won't keep his promise and crosses his fingers with Polaris.
"Promise."
"Promise."
Stan looked around and cringed, "Man, we have got a lot of zombie damage to clean up. Where's my handyman anyway?" He asked as Zombie Soos lurched into the room.
"Brains! Braaains!"
"Holy Moses!" Stan cried and grabs a chair, almost hits Zombie Soos.
Dipper stopped him, "Wait! There's a page in the Journal about curing zombification. It's gonna take a lot of formaldehyde."
"Ooh and cinnamon!"
"Don't forget about the salt!"
"Come on Soos, let's fix you up."
"Brains! Braaains!"
Mabel, Dipper, and Polaris move Soos out of the room with a chair as Mabel sighed, "Soos cut it out!"
"Hehehe, sorry dude!"
Later, when Dipper and Mabel was de-zombiefying Soos, Polaris walked over to Stan. "Mr. Pines. I still feel guilty for my part in this debacle, so I wish to make it up for you."
"What do you have in mind, kid?"
"How about I work for you for free?"
"Well…I can't say no to free labor…you're hired, Polaris!" She turned to leave, when Stan stopped her. "Also, thanks for helping Dipper out of the wreckage, appreciate it kid." He then turned away as 3 went back upstairs to see Dipper pacing the room with a black light.
"Hey 3!" He said catching sight of her.
"Hey Dipper!" 3 said as she returned to being a book. "How are your stitches?"
Dipper winced, rubbing his abdomen, "Its fine, I still can't believe it! All this time the author's secrets were hiding in plain sight!" He uses the black light and shines it to 3. "A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore..."
"Yeah, maybe we'll find my Father, get some answers, and hopefully figure out what that portal is for."