Journal Interlude 3 or shorts
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Talk-normal
Talk-3 thinking
"Talk"-3 talking
Warnings for 3's temper and language
Mabel's Guide to Life/ Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained
The week a forgetful tourist left behind the camera will later be known as 3's wildest week of her existence. It all started when a flashy tourist left behind a brand new camera and was found by Mabel who decided to share it with Dipper and 3 and wanted to create a series of memories to look back on. The twins decided to do a split series while 3 was the camerawoman that filmed them.
Little did she know she'll have a massive headache and shocks all week.
That Thing #76
"Well that concludes Gravity Fall's anomaly #13, the Mobius chicken Strip." Dipper said as he and 3 munched on them
"They're infinitely delicious." He was about to continue when a thing came out of nowhere and surprised 3 enough to drop the camera.
3 picked up the camera as Dipper ran towards a sleeping Mabel who muttered about sleeping forever until Dipper told her it was eating their stockpiled candy
"What!? Ew…it's like a naked little man." She yelped looking at it.
Dipper announced the new anomaly with a quick flash board as Mabel tried to get him away from the candy. Dipper and Mabel tried to catch it with a trash bin and golf club but managed it to escape via ceiling and crawling down stairs with the twins and 3 chasing after it.
"Save the candy!" Mabel yelled, wielding a golf club.
"Where is it? Have you-AH!" Dipper yelped when it landed on his face and banged into the table. The thing fled to the kitchen, still eating on top of the refrigerator.
"Aw no! He's wasting candy!" Mabel yelled as they exchanged fire with it throwing candy and the twins threw cans at it. "Let's catch it with our mouths!"
"What!? No why wo-" He was cut off when a piece landed in his mouth. "That's actually-OW!" He groaned when a bar hit him dead center in the face.
"Dipper! Are you alright!?" 3 asked, placing a hand on his face in concern.
They chased it to the den until it stepped on the remote and froze, transfixed by the TV. Dipper laughed and said.
"Ha, and he dropped the candy, what a little dummy. Glued to the…to the…oh I love this movie…"
3, Mabel, Dipper, and the thing all settled down on the chair watching the movie and the thing eating Grunkle Stan's golf clubs.
"Hey Dipper, what should we do with the monster?" 3 asked, eating some chocolate.
"Candy now, monster later." Mabel said eating her portion as Soos walked in.
"Hey Polaris, hey Dipper, hey Mabel, hey…Grunkle Stan." He said after a pause.
"Well that's it for Dipper's guide to the unnatural; the next episode will probably be about this candy eating monster." Dipper said to the camera 3 left on the table.
Soos leaned over to the monster and asked, "Pssh, Stan, what's he talking about?"
Dating
"Look at his little shorts" Mabel cooed as 3 twitched. She had just been roped into a marathon with Mabel and was still panting as she filmed Waddles on a treadmill running towards a sundae.
After the marathon, Mabel dragged her into a talk show setting to talk about dating.
"As we all know, I'm a dating expert. In fact, I can't get the boys to leave me alone!" She said casually as 3 panned out to see a cardboard boy wanting Mabel back.
"You know what you did, Zach! Today we're gonna test the date-ability of three of Gravity Falls' swingiest bachelors. Soos!"
Soos was looking at a fake camera and said, "Get ready to fall in love, America! Am I, am I looking at the right camera?"
"Soos! The one I'm holding!"
"Dipper!"
"Who are you even making this for?"
"Supposedly us in the future."
"Grunkle Stan!"
"I'm only here 'cause you promised bacon." Mabel looks at 3 and sighed, throwing the bacon. "I'm pacified!"
"And now for a simple 9000 question dating quiz." She whispered to 3, holding up the quiz.
"How is that simple!?"
While they were working, 3 was on break when she paused, watching Mabel stuffing a struggling Dipper into the closet.
"Mabel? What are you doing to Dipper?" She turned to 3 and shoved her into the closet as well, on top of Dipper and locked the door.
"This is called 7 stars in Heaven! This concludes Animal-Dating!"
They were silent for a minute and Dipper sighed, "She forgot to unlock the door, didn't she?"
3 was out of the closet and was beet red, as Dipper had kissed her in the closet, and was filming.
"Grunkle Stan, on a scale from one to five, you scored a three."
"Yes! Yes!" And Mabel gave him "Datable."
"This will limit your dating pool to widows, lady plumbers and convicts."
"I still consider this a victory."
She went over to Dipper, who was also blushing and said "Dipper. Your score is..." Mabel looked down and choked. On his results was "TAKEN!" in bold red letters scribbled on it. Mabel glanced at 3 who smiled sweetly from behind the camera. "You know, scores don't really matter. You just need to focus on being you." Mabel made a note to give Dipper, "Possessive Girlfriend."
Mabel giggled awkwardly and moved on to Soos. "Soos, on a scale from one to five you scored…A twelve?"
"My grandma was right all along. I am the world's most perfect man!" And Soos got "Total Hunk."
"Love is all around us. And if it seems like you too aren't the right fit, force it! Oh, no! The squirrels! They're back! Aaah! Save me, 3, Dipper! Save me!"
"Hey 3?" Dipper asked nervously, when they finally got the squirrels off Mabel. "You didn't happen to kiss me did you?"
3 paused and looked at Dipper and asked, "Didn't you kiss me?" He shook his head and they looked at the closet.
"You don't think…"
"The invisible wizard?"
Stan's Tattoo #23
3 and Dipper decided to figure out what Stan's tattoo looks like and set up a board that only had glimpses of it and Mabel became the camerawoman today and was alternating from 'crushing' Dipper's and 3's head.
"Hello, I'm Dipper Pines."
"And I'm 3, AKA Polaris Dirgel."
"The girl trying to crush our heads is my sister, Mabel."
"I'm helping." Mabel said, awkwardly waving at the camera from behind.
"Today on Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained-Okay, that's enough" He said, waving Mabel's hand away as 3 held up a cardboard card, "Anomaly #23: Grunkle Stan's secret Tattoo. What is he hiding?"
"Other than you-know-what, a college prank? Secret symbol?"
"Or something stranger? Stan claims it doesn't exist, but today we will find out." Dipper declared as 3 tackled Mabel to prevent her from showing what's under her band aid and wrestling the camera away from her.
They started out simply, by turning up the thermometer so he would take off his shirt but it back fired when he was disgusted by Soos taking off his own shirt. Dipper tried again by saying Stan had Poison Oak and tried to lift up his shirt. However, Stan slapped away his hand and said, disinterest.
"Kids, if you want to see my tattoo, then you'd have to try harder than that." He said looking at 3's camera under her arm.
"A-HA! So you admit you have a secret tattoo!" Dipper exclaimed.
"I don't, but you two do…" He said picking up a red marker and scribbling "Goober" under Dipper's birthmark and 3 got "Kitty Cat" on her cheek.
"Okay plan C…" 3 was hiding in the ceiling supports with a bucket of paint, waiting for Stan to walk under her. When he walked under, she was going to dump it when the wood she was on gave out and sent her sprawling right next to a startled Stan and dumping the gold paint over a stone head and attracting tourists fighting over who will by the "Sold Gold Head."
Stan grinned and ruffled the annoyed 3's hair, "Nice Try, I'll let this slide for raking in money."
3 growled and looked up at Dipper, "Damn it, let's just do plan, Z-A-91."
They nodded and waited for Stan to go into the shower.
"We didn't want to do this…"
"But he left us no choice…"
They ran in a pulled the curtains apart and saw a fully dressed and soaked Stan, glaring at them.
"You two are never going to see my tattoo…"
"How long have you been standing there?" Dipper asked as they backed away.
"Give me that CAMERA!"
They split up and lead Stan on a Scooby-Doo style chase and ran up to the roof to wait out Stan's anger.
"So…we just figured we chill up on the roof for a while…" Dipper trailed off as Stan yelled.
"I'm gonna find you Kids!"
"Well that's it for our episode; Stan's tattoo remains a mystery. But, who knows what other secrets are waiting to be uncovered?"
A particular loud yell echoed beneath them and 3 sighed, "Maybe we should look for something that is least likely to kill us…"
Stickers
"Well that concludes Mabel's guide to hair Topiary." Mabel told a confused 3, who had absolutely no idea what happened other then it involved hair, coat hangers, hot glue, a gallon of hair spray, and a porcupine.
"What is it?" Dipper asked from his bed.
"It's an ostrich. It's clearly an ostrich." Mabel growled and made her "ostrich" caw.
"I'm so confused…"
Mabel pulls out a large book and sat in front of 3 sitting on a chair with a book with Dipper reading C behind her on his bed.
"Throughout history, stickers have been the backbone of many great civilizations."
"Um…"
"No, they haven't." Dipper quipped from behind as Mabel opened the history book.
"The ancient Greeks used leeches for stickers! The more stickers you had, the cooler you were!"
"I thought it is to cure disease?"
"Nope, not true. 3 is right."
"The ancient Aztecs' chest skull is a modern equivalent to todays, 'Orange you happy Mon?'"
"Don't you mean ancient?"
Dipper finally butted in saying, "Yes, Aztecs' war paints were exactly like a Rasta orange. Mabel, have you ever read a history book?"
Mabel glared at them and pointed at her brother and yelled, "Edit it out!"
They looked at her strangely as she grinned and snapped her fingers. "Edit! Edit! Edit! Cut away!"
Dipper and 3 shared a look and shrugged as Mabel dragged 3 away to educate Soos on stickers with her Sticktionary.
"Let's take a look at my personal Sticktionary! Stickers fall into several distinct categories. Puffy stickers"
"So soft!" Soos exclaimed, touching them as 3 just filmed.
"Googly eyes stickers" She shook the book to cause them to jiggle and 3 and Soos drew back alarmed.
"Aaah! It's like they're watching me!"
"They're working for Bill!"
"Bumper stickers, scratch and sniff, sniff and touch, listen and taste, and price stickers. You can get these ones free at the store!" She said as Dipper walked in.
"Don't they need those?"
"Listen, Dipper. You shouldn't doubt my authority. In the sticker world, I'm the girl who can get you things."
"You mean bribing Stan with stickers in exchange for industrial grade sprinkles?" 3 deadpanned from her position.
"Oh! I almost forgot about those! I'm gonna get so sick." She ran to the attic and pulled the keg from under her bed and began eating them as 3 and Dipper watched, bemused.
"Mabel, don't you think those are hazardous to your health?"
Mabel began yelling edit again and the two sane ones just shrugged and left, leaving the camera behind.
Mailbox #54
3, Dipper, and Soos went into the forest and found a lone mailbox in the clearing.
"Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, Anomaly # 54: The Mailbox. There it is, in the middle of the forest. No house. No address. Today, me and my team of experts..."
"Good morning."
"Sup?"
"...are gonna put a letter in and see who picks it up."
Soos walked up to the camera 3 was holding and held up his letter.
"My letter poses a salient question: 'Sup Dawg?'" He places the letter in mailbox.
"Now we're gonna hide behind a bush, and wait for someone to come by-" He was cut off when the mailbox started to rumble.
"W-what the!?" 3 gasped backing up and placing herself in front of Dipper.
"Oh, Dude!" Soos said, backing up.
"What the-?!" Dipper echoed
As suddenly as it began, it stopped and the flag rose on its own.
"Did you see that?!" Soos exclaimed.
"Open it!" Dipper said as he ran over.
"No, you open it, dude! I'm not touching a ghost mailbox!"
"Such a baby, I'll do it." 3 huffed and grabbed a nearby stick and carefully opened the mailbox to find a different letter with a wax seal.
"What?!"
"That's not our letter, dudes!"
Dipper takes the letter out of 3's hand and read out loud, "Hello Dipper, Journal 3, and Soos."
"How!?"
"It knows our names!"
Soos narrowed his eyes and said, "I don't know…it was way off of Polaris's name, dudes."
"We gotta test it." Dipper declared.
"What did I shave into my head this morning?" Soos wrote and placed in the mailbox.
"'A baby duck holding a paddleball' Dude! It knew!" He takes off his hat to reveal the duck shaved into his hair.
"What?!"
"How did we not notice that!?"
"Ask it more questions!" Soos said excitedly.
"When is the end of the world?" Dipper wrote.
"3012. Huh. We've got a while."
3 wrote down, "Have we met my Father, yet?"
"Yes." 3 and Dipper shared a sigh of relief; it meant the author was still alive.
"Who is my dream woman?" Soos wrote.
Soos got a picture of a body builder, "Ho ho ho! Hot tamales! I'll save that one for the archives!"
"Whatever floats your boat Soos…"
Now that the proving tests are done, they were now trying to figure out what to ask the mailbox now. "Uh, when is the exact time and date of my death?"
"Did aliens build the pyramids?!"
"Is Bill telling the truth?"
"Or... what is the meaning of life?"
"Dipper, the meaning of life is 42."
"What are marshmallows made of?!"
"Or... Who IS the author?"
"Who wrote that creepy journal? Who wrote that creepy journal?" Soos cheered and 3 looked a little insulted.
"We're finally gonna get the answer to the greatest mystery in Gravity Falls!"
"I'll finally know my Father's name…"
Mabel suddenly ran up to the mailbox, "Nifty! A mailbox! I've been wanting to mail Mom this video of me sticking 100 gummy worms up my nose!" She said happily as she shoved the package inside.
"No, wait!"
"Dude!"
"STOP!"
"Bam!" She yelled as she slammed the box close and the mailbox flag raises.
"'Your gummy worm video has disturbed and insulted me. You fools are unworthy of my great knowledge. The era of human enlightenment shall never come to pass.'" Dipper read as the mailbox glowed.
"What's that?!" Soos yelled as the twins and 3 ran away.
The mailbox implodes and Dipper, 3, Mabel, and Soos are standing in the middle of a scorched clearing
3 turned angrily at Mabel and started screaming at her, "YOU FOOL! YOU'VE RUINED OUR BEST SHOT AT FINDING MY FATHER!"
Dipper grabbed the camera as 3 went on a diatribe on Mabel and started display signs of snapping. "Well, uh, that concludes Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, where we learned when dealing with the unknown, DO NOT MAIL VIDEOS OF YOU SHOVING GUMMY WORMS UP YOUR NOSE! Now, I have to prevent my homicidal, supernatural book from killing my sister."
Dipper ran over just as 3 entered her snapped state and started to chase after Mabel.
"No! No! Show over! SHOW OVER-!" He abandoned the camera to try to calm 3 down and prevent his twin's murder.
Fashion
3 finally calmed down after a day of stewing and she was nervously recording Mabel as the thing she was working on exploded.
"Wow! I'll never be allowed to do THAT again! Thank you for watching Mabel's guide to home pyrotechnics. See you next time" She coughed with her hair blown back and soot face.
"I don't think there'd be a next time Mabel…" 3 said sardonically as she put out her scorched hair and Mabel yelped when she was electrocuted by her hair.
Soon, Mabel's friends came over and took over the filming to give 3 a break. Or it might have something to do with the scratches on the shape of claws on her back. Either way, 3 and Dipper had a break except to help out with her montage.
"So wait, what are we supposed to do again?" Dipper asked with sunglasses and sitting next to 3.
"Flip up your glasses and Polaris look jealous." They did as they were told and went into the woods to be attacked by Jeff again, thinking he could make 3 his queen this time. That didn't last long when 3 snapped and went nuts.
They just got back when Grenda tackled the exhausted 3 to the ground and Mabel and Candy joined her.
"Grab her arms Grenda! Watch her legs, Candy!" Mabel yelled as she pushed the shocked Dipper out of the way.
When they were done, 3 now looked like Gaara from Naruto complete with the gourd.
"I would be more upset if you hadn't chosen to cosplay me as one of my favorite characters." 3 said looking into a mirror; she then dragged Dipper out of the room yelling.
"Let's go find some mind sand or a kitsune!" She said over her shoulder to a confused Dipper.
Lefty #82
"Hey Dipper…"
"Yeah?"
"I just noticed that guy never shows his right side…"
"Really?"
"Yeah, even when he's jogging, he never turns…"
Dipper and 3 followed the man around and realized that she was indeed correct from said jogging to the escalator to the grocery store.
"Alright, uh. Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained. Today we investigate Gravity Falls Anomaly #82." 3 turns the camera to the left man and Dipper continued.
"This guy. Sure he looks normal, but if he's so normal explain why he's always facing left."
"I've been watching him for weeks...and I've never once seen the right side of his face..." 3 said looking at the man.
"...and neither has anyone else. But why?"
Dipper turned to Mabel with a manila envelope, "Mabel? Theories?"
"Theory one: He's hiding an embarrassing sunburn. Theory two: Half-man, half lizard-man! And theory number three, my personal favorite: He's normal! 3 and Dipper are just crazy!"
3 frowned at Mabel as Dipper snatches the picture, "That's not a theory, that doesn't count as a theory." Dipper growled as Mabel giggled to herself.
"We find out now! Hello, good sir!" Dipper greeted the man as he, 3, and Mabel entered the store.
"Eh, I'm sorry, cameras aren't allowed in here." He said, pointing at 3.
"Oh, it's not on. Not on. He bought it! So, would you mind grabbing those bowling shoes for me? The ones on your right side?"
"Those ones?" He pointed at the pair and Dipper nodded and the man never turned much to 3's suspicion.
"Whoops! Oh no, I... dropped my wallet!" 3 snatched it and tossed it over to his right. "It's over to your right there. Your right side. Could you maybe turn around and...?"
The man just sighed and pick it up without turning, "There you are, sir."
Dipper just sighed and said, "Fine. Could you just get me my bowling ball?"
"I don't see why not. Let's see, looks like maybe it's in here…"
"Well, I was thinking it could be the..." 3 run over and forcefully turned the man around to see that he was a robot being worked by mini fish men. "Ah ha! What the...?!"
"What the #$^&"
One of the fish men noticed and pointed at the gob smacked kids. "Guys!"
"We're blown, shut it down! Shut it down!"
The Fish Aliens started to panic as the robot man started to explode and one takes out pills.
"The time has come!"
"The time has come, brother!"
"I can't! I have a family!" One begged as another frowned and forced a pill down his throat.
"You signed the oath!" They all took theirs and they exploded along with the robot causing the sprinkler to go off and the three ran out of store, horrified.
"Well, that concludes anomaly #82. Uh, I think we might want to burn this tape."
"We'll never speak of this!"
Colors
3 looked annoyed as Mabel laughed on and on in front of 3.
"Ahahah! Ha-ha! Ahahah! And that's Mabel's guide to laughing for an uncomfortable amount of time! Uh-oh, here comes more!" She laughed more as Dipper crumbled C and 3 began crushing the camera.
Soon Mabel stopped laughing and dragged 3 over to a slide show.
"Color is all around us: from the nauseous green of a twin brother to the weird orange of an old man's nose to the beautiful sky blue of toilet water to the red of a mystical book's hair. But it wasn't always this way."
She showed another slide of a newspaper clipping of the Great Depression. "According to history, the world was black and white until color was invented by a magic wizard named, Crandoff the Fabulous." She showed a clipped art of a wizard drawing on the newspaper.
"Dipper was right; you've never read a history book." 3 sighed as she dragged them all over town to get the townspeople's favorite color.
"Hot Pink." Pacifica answered.
"Beige!"
"Wendy…wait what was the question again?" Dipper said to 3's annoyance.
"Lasers! Oh! Or liquid metal! Do leopards count as a color?"
"We'll get back to you Soos."
"Flannel." Wendy answered for her family.
They went back to Soos who still hadn't decided, "Okay, okay! I've narrowed it down to Aurora Borealis, camouflage…"
Candy held up a tide dye poster, "Magic Fission Poster."
"Light Blue."
They went to Stan who said, "None."
"What?"
"I don't have a favorite color. I don't even like colors."
"Not even rainbows!?"
"Beats me, I've never seen a rainbow."
"WHAT!"
Mabel dragged 3 up to the twin's room with Candy and Grenda."
"Alright guys, how can we get Grunkle Stan to see a rainbow? I need ideas people!"
"Maybe he's colorblind."
"Sometimes when I drink expired milk, I see rainbows! I'm gonna try right now!" Grenda shouted and drank as Candy pulled out her plan.
"What if we reflect the rainbow from the falls into Stan's window?" 3 and Dipper grinned and high fived her as Grenda lurched and passed out to 3 and Dipper's concern.
"It's okay, she does this." Candy reassured them as Grenda snored
"Should we take her to the doctor's?"
3 and Mabel hid behind the door as dipper and Candy waited by the falls, waiting for the signal.
"Alright, we're about to about to unleash the ROYGBIV-a tron into Stan's office." 3 quickly gave the signal and they hid behind a desk as Stan walked in.
"Nothings brighten a dark room like a light from an opened window. Time to open the wind-OWW! OH NO! WHY!? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?" He opened the shades and screamed in pain as the light hit him directly.
"Ta-Da! Surprise!" Mabel gleefully shouted as Stan still screamed.
"I think we blinded him…"
"Maybe we over did it a little…" Mabel said as the office caught on fire.
"Get those bandages good and tight. I'm not giving my life savings to some quack doctor." Stan said as Dipper and Soos tied the bandages around his eyes as 3 made a salve for his eyes.
"That's it for today…join us next week as we'll be doing Mabel's guide to apologizing to your great uncle."
"I hate color more than ever!"
"He's just saying that." She said nervously as she turned off the camera.
Tooth #42
Dipper, 3, and Mabel all traveled to the beach to see the gigantic tooth that washed ashore on the lake. "Welcome to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, Anomaly # 42: The Tooth."
"I'm here for scale!" Mabel said, poking the tooth with a stick.
"I found it yesterday when I was, uh... practicing. Strangely human, but it's gigantic! It's bigger than any fish or Lake Monster I've ever seen. And we're gonna find out where it came from!"
"We don't know what it could be. But we'll ask the ranger if he knows anything."
"Tooth? No, I don't know nothing about a tooth."
"We mean the gigantic molar on the beach nearby." 3 said adjusting her camera.
"We were thinking about paddling out on that lake tonight." Dipper continued.
The Ranger turned a little to look at them and said, "Bit of friendly advice, boy: If you see bubbles on that lake, run."
"What, why?"
The ranger leaned over menacingly and growled, "Enough questions get that camera out of here!"
"I'm here at the lake to investigate. I brought Mabel and 3 for backup."
"And I brought Bear-o, my adorable childhood puppet.) Hey -Oooh! Ain't that right, honey? Did somebody say...honey? Ha ha ha!" Mabel said, holding up a creepy doll of a bear.
3 drew back and started growing claws. "BURN IT! BURN IT BEFORE IT BREEDS!"
"Nope, creepy. Bear-o's creepy. Everyone hates Bear-o."
"But, Dipper, who could hate Bear-o?" Mabel asked holding it up to Dipper's face and 3 growled protectively.
"I can think of a few people."
"Aw, come on! You'll see! You, I, 3, and Bear-o are the adventure team of a lifetime!"
3 and Dipper glance at each other and wrestled Bear-o out of Mabel's grip and 3 punted it half way across the beach and dragged her into the boat, leaving Bear-o behind.
"Okay, something out there left that tooth, and we're gonna find out what it is!"
Mabel just glared and held up a sign that read: 'DO YOU WANT MORE BEAR-O?! LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD WRITE: Mabel Pines, c/o Mystery Shack, Gravity Falls'. To the camera which 3 shredded and threw the pieces into the lake.
"What are we supposed to be looking for?" Mabel asked as they rowed.
"I don't know, just look out for bubbles in the water."
"Maybe a Titan?" 3 said as they noticed bubbles near an island.
"Dipper, look!"
"They're over by that island! We have to see what happens!"
They rowed closer and the island shakes violently.
"What was that?"
"Ah!"
"What the hell!?"
"What's happening?!
"It doesn't matter! ROW! ROW! ROW!"
The island soon floats up to revealed a giant head that rises out of the water and floats toward the boat, grunting random sounds."
"OH MY GOD! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"
"It's getting closer! Ah! Keep rowing!" Dipper yelled as they frantically rowed to land and the head crashes into them, throwing them onto the beach with the force of its dive.
"I don't know, I've been looking for- there it is. Okay, after it attacked us, that giant head then just sunk back into the lake, and it lost another one of its teeth trying to eat our boat! But the important thing is we survived. Barely."
"Let's never do that again!" 3 said hysterical as she clutched Dipper, her phobia of water back full force.
"Ugh, yeah. Did somebody say bear-ly?" Mabel said picking up Bear-o and 3 kicked it out of her hands and Mabel glared.
Art
3 winced when Mabel crashed landed and summer salted into a pile of leaves.
"Mabel I told you it wouldn't work."
"Hush! And that was Mabel's Guide to Flying. In conclusion, flying and falling are basically the same thing." She looked at the bird that landed next to her, "I am like you now, bird. We are now one!"
"Stop terrorizing the wildlife."
After picking out her splinters, Mabel dragged 3 back to the slideshow.
"Art! It's all around us! From the big triangles of the desert."
"Pyramids."
"To those pen that go like...Boop! Boop!" She clicked a doggy pen in front of the camera. She then showed an elephant smearing paint of a canvas.
"Ha ha! Even old Jumbo is getting in on the act. Don't quit your day job, Jumbo! That's... That's really bad. No one knows what art means or where it comes from, but one thing is for sure: I'm great at it!"
"How modest." 3 said sarcastically.
"At age 2, I was naturally gifted. At age 5, I was a master of portrait. Age 7 was a time of free exploration!" She places squiggles that over time turned into rainbows; 3 just passed off as a human thing.
"But it everything changed when I saw this amazing caricature!" She takes out a caricature of Dipper that had 3 blinking and Dipper tearing it out of her hands.
"Gimme that, gimme that."
"What could make it even better you ask? I give you…the 'Cat-icature!'" She pulls out a cat with Dipper's hat and another with 3's monocle earring.
"Just compare this amazing likeness to Dipper and 3!"
"That doesn't look anything like me."
"It looks like it stole our stuff."
Mabel interrupted them, yelling over them, "You're right it does look exactly like you two!" Mabel then pulls out more cat-icature of Wendy (who had her hair and hat), Waddles (pink with a pig nose), Soos (just had his hat), and Stan (had a fez) and shown them to Stan.
"Uh, it's just the same crummy cat face with a different hat each time." Stan said, not impressed.
"Exactly! And I sell them for 10 dollars each."
"Whyyyy…?"
"You need an agent? I am now your agent." Stan declared and soon the whole town wanted cat-icatures.
"I think it because its cats." Dipper soon answered as Toby got his picture.
"It looks exactly like me! Right down to my actual cat whiskers that the doctors can't explain! Meow meow meow!"
"You're always weirder than I remember." Mabel said a little freaked out.
"Mabel! These cat-icatures are selling' like hot cakes!"
"Cat-icatures are good. But I've moved on to the next level. Behold…" She grabs a living cat out which has a picture on its stomach. "'Humani-cat-icatures!'"
"I think this is animal cruelty…"
The customers paused then start to want the cat with a human drawn on them.
"Somebody get this girl more cats!" Stan yelled over the din.
"Just think of it as adoption." Dipper reassured her. Then looked at Stan gathering a lot of cats. "We'd better stay in Soos's break room, because I have a feeling our room will soon smell like litter box."
They went to the attic to see Mabel scratched up and clawed by many cats.
"That's it for Mabel's guide to art. Where we learned sometimes you have to suffer for your art. Here kitty, here kitty kitty..." The cat jumps and attacks Mabel in her face and Mabel falls over.
"It actually kind of tickles."
"I'll get the salve."
"I'll get the bandages."
The Hide-Behind #132
Mabel was filming 3 and Dipper who were still getting ready.
"We're on!"
"Oh. Hello. And welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained."
Mabel buzzes a UFO keychain to make a sound effect.
"Nice."
"Thank you. Today we investigate Gravity Falls anomaly #132: The Hide-Behind." 3 returns to book state and Dipper reads, "Local lumberjacks tell of a mysterious creature, always just out of sight. But these photos suggest it might actually be real! Either way, we intend to find out!"
3 returns to her human state and continued, "During my years in the cubby, I always heard a shaking, hissing noise then quick footsteps. I know believe that it was the Hide-Behind."
Mabel jumps out from behind Dipper and 3, surprising them, "LAAAA! I'M A HIDE- BEHIND!"
"AAH! Mabel!"
"NOT FUNNY!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
They went to see Manly Dan as Wendy's brothers cut down a tree behind him. "Hide-Behind? Oh, he's real alright. REAL AS MY BEARD! He was behind me once; made this sound: ch chchchchch. Mighty spooky." He said, serious as the tree behind him collapsed on the house nearby.
"Daaad!"
"It's coming' down!"
"DADDY'S DOIN' A MOVIE! He's doing' a movie now." Dan said into the camera. They went to see Lazy Susan who was overflowing a forgotten cup of coffee with the man nearby, trying to get her attention.
"Can I get a refill ma'am? Refill?"
"Oh, the Hide-Behind is definitely real. He might even be behind me right now! Let me see... Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa-!" She began spinning around much to the confusion to the customer. 3 carefully take a napkin and took the cup from her hand and gave it to the guy.
"Thanks."
"No problem."
They went to talk to Stan who said, "Don't believe every legend you hear, kid. The people in this town are literally the dumbest people in the world. Literally. The Hide-Behind's just a rumor. You want a mystery? How about the mystery of why-" He was cut off by something very dark and very fast.
"What the... AH!"
"That's it!" Dipper yelled chasing after it with 3 on his heels.
"Hey, we're doing' an interview here! Kid!"
"Dipper!"
"We're coming for ya. Where is he? Where is he?"
"He ran toward that clearing!"
They found themselves in a clearing with a tiny tree in the center of the clearing that was rattling.
"Alright. After hours of searching, we've narrowed it down to this tree. I know what you're wondering. How do you catch a creature who's always right behind you? How about...a mirror suit!" 3 zoomed out to show Dipper cover in mirrors and 3 stretching out her awareness. "Nothing's going to sneak up on old Dipper- AAH!"
Dipper screamed when Mabel hangs upside down from a branch and poked him the middle of the head with a branch.
"BLIND SPOT!"
"AAH! Oof! I'm down! Dipper down!"
"This is it. Get ready to finally be seen, Hide-Behind! In 3... 2... 1..." They ran forward to find an owl shaking a maraca in its beak.
"A-ha! What?"
"Aww…" 3 said disappointed.
"Wow! Cool! Maraca owl!"
Dipper groaned and takes off the mirror suit as Mabel let the owl sit on her arm.
"Well, based on lack of evidence, I have to conclude, anomaly # 132, the Hide-Behind, just a legend." He glances at 3 who was looking around for some reason.
"What's wrong?"
"I seem to have miss placed the camera."
"Guess we'll have to come back in the morning.
They walked away when Dipper turned when he heard a hissing noise.
"What was that? Meh, nothing." This continued until they left the forest as Dipper became a little paranoid.
It won't be until tomorrow when 3 finds the camera do they find out the Hide-Behind does exist and its watching them.