Chapter 21
Disclaimer: I do not own
Talk-normal
Talk- thinking
"Talk"- 3 talking.
A/N: It's come to my attention that this story has over 100 reviews *FANFARE.* So next chapter will be a little treat for those who stuck by and I should have it posted soon, if I'm not infected with lazyitias. Also another thing, I'm a little stuck on what I should do for The Deep End. I have, off the top of my head, that a.) Dipper tries to teach 3 how to swim. b.) 3 hangs out with Mabel and Mermando. c.) Dipper and 3 ignores the pool and go on an adventure were they eventually cross paths with Mabel. So I'll have a poll up on my profile and you guys vote.
Golf War
It's been three days since the disastrous play involving 3's dark version and things are still far from being normal or as normal as it'll ever be in Gravity Fall's. Though the twins continuously assured her it wasn't her fault, 3 still felt guilty for what her alternate self did and was handling the twins like they were porcelain dynamite. No matter what they said, the twins couldn't ease 3's fears.
Mabel was scared 3 will cut herself away from them in a misguided attempt to protect them and she was going all out to make 3 comfortable to be around them again with sweaters, Smile Dip, and even inviting her to her sleepovers. Dipper was just relieved that 3 was alright but was concerned that she could be suffering from side effects from the mirror and had taken to following her and trying to reassure her that she wasn't a danger to them.
Even the rest of the Shack Crew seem to pick up the tension between them. Soos was inviting her over to his grandma's for dinner whenever possible. Wendy, who was informed by the twins about what transpired, offered to let 3 sleepover with her and give out any advice she could. Even Stan picked up that something was amiss and offered to let the kids have a day off to sort out their growing up issues nowhere near him.
Slowly, 3 was getting less and less uptight around them to hang out again, but there were still walls between them. Right now Dipper and 3 is sitting on the couch watching television while they and Waddles are eating a bowl of cereal when Stan walks over with a pan in his hand.
"Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in them." He asked them.
"Um, no."
"Pass."
Mabel then bursts through the door giddily and pushed past Stan, causing the Stan-cake to fall on him, with a newspaper crushed in her hand.
"It's here! Aaah! Oh, it's here! It's here, it's here! I've been waiting all morning and it's finally here!" She screamed giddily as she jumped in between 3 and Dipper on the couch.
"What's here?" 3 asked looking at Mabel in confusion.
"The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels. My picture is gonna be in the newspaper! Check it!" She proudly shows everyone a view of the newspaper in her hand.
Stan leaned down and read, "'Pacifica Northwest declares V-neck the look of the season!' What am I looking at here?" He asked, looking at his shocked niece.
"Woah, woah, what?!" She looked down with Dipper and 3 reading over her shoulder.
'GREATEST THING OF THE SUMMER!' the headline blared and showed a portrait of Pacifica Northwest, with the caption "PACIFICA NORTHWEST".
"Looks like someone bought their way to the front page." Dipper said in sympathy.
"Is it legal for a child to wear that much make-up?" Stan asked in disgust.
"I think what she's wearing is just barely skimming the limit. Barely."
Mabel groaned and covered her face with the paper, "Ugh, Pacifica! She always ruins everything!"
Dipper looked at his sister and tried to assure her, "Aw, cheer up Mabel! I mean, no one even reads newspapers anymore." He said as Soos ran in with his own newspaper.
"Dudes! V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help me get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further." He holds up a pair of scissors and a marker he pulled out of nowhere. "With a w-neck." He draws a construction line for a w, and tries to cut along the lines. "Must…follow…newspaper."
3 sighed and said, "Thank you Soos."
"No problem bro."
Mabel glumly walks over to the nearby table and furiously pours herself a glass of orange juice, which she gulps down. "Aack! I need something to get my mind off this."
'Looking for a distraction from your horrible life?' The television asked.
"Why yes!" The crew turned to the TV that was playing the commercial, 'Victory, honor, destiny, mutton! These old-timey sounding words are alive and well at the Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt! *No mutton available at the snack shop*'
Dipper grinned and looked at his sister and said, "Hey, Mabel! You love mini-golf!" He pulls out a scrapbook with a picture of Mabel winning a trophy at a minor-league gold competition with the caption 'AGE 9.' "She's been amazing at it since we were kids! What do you say, Mabel? We've all had a stressful couple of days. How about we take a break, huh?"
3 flinched slightly and looked away guiltily. The twins noticed and scooted closer to her silently.
"Would kicking all our butts at mini-golf cheer you up?" Stan asked encouragingly.
Mabel smiled and said, "Maybe a little."
"Come on, Mabel! Victory!" Dipper stood up on the couch and elbowed 3 and nodded. 3 stood up also said, "Honor!"
"Destiny!" Stan cheered.
"Mutton!" Soos called as his w-neck flaps down. Mabel grins and follows Dipper, 3, Stan, and Soos out the front door as they were cheering, "Victory, honor, destiny, mutton! Victory, honor, destiny, mutton!"
Soos then said, "And the pig can look after the house!"
"Don't burn down the Shack!" 3 called over to Waddles she closed the door.
They drove to the Ye Royal Discount Putt Hutt in golfing wear and walked through the entrance as Soos cheered. They walked around to see a few people walking around the course and Mabel let out a happy sigh, "Ahh, mini-golf! The sport of mini champions!"
"I thought it was for the retired or those who have nothing better to do."
Dipper smiled and patted her shoulder, "That's golf. This is mini-golf: where the grass is fake, but the fun is real! There's something here for everyone!"
They began playing with Stan managing to just skim the hole and Soos' ball was hit to the next hole and everything was normal until 3 went up to putt. Dipper glanced at her strangely and said, "Umm, Polaris, you're holding the club the wrong way." She was holding the club by the driver and was trying to hit the ball with the handle. She looked at him wide-eyed and asked in surprise, "Really!?"
"Yeah, you use the bigger part to hit the ball." Dipper informed her, surpassing a chuckle at her expense. 3 flipped the club over and swung the club with all her strength, she hit the ball but she also let go of the club, sending it flying. Everyone paused to looked at the flying club were it beaned Robbie in the head as he was running from the King of Mini-golf's golf cart.
"OW!" The teen yelped as he fell to the ground and the King of Mini-golf narrowly running him over.
"Ha-ha! None can escape from the King of Mini-golf!"
Dipper grinned and held up the score card, "I say that counts as a hole in one." Mabel grinned and slapped a sticker on 3's forehead that had a cartoon possum on it saying, 'Awesome Possum!'
Dipper shook his head and went up to putt next. "Focus! Focus! And, eh..." he groaned as he misses the golf ball with his club and it rolled into the nearby pond instead.
"Don't worry bro! You're still," She slaps a dinosaur sticker on his cheek. "Ext-roar-dinary!"
Dipper sighed and said, "I'll take what I can get." He walks over to 3 as Mabel took his place.
"Do the hip wiggle, and eh!" she hits a golf ball with her club and sent it ping ponging across the course were it bounced off Old Man McGucket's nose and scores a hole in one. The old man woke up with a snort and looked around, "Wha? How'd I get here?"
"Yes!" Mabel cheered as they looked at her in surprise.
"Holy smokes! Someone in our family actually has talent!" Stan said in surprise. Dipper smirked up to his Grunkle and told them, "Grunkle Stan, you ain't seen nothing yet!" Though out the outing, Mabel continues scoring holes and soon a crowd gathers around the group eager to watch her break her personal high score. Soon they were at the 18th whole were everyone watched from the sidelines breathlessly.
"Guys, this is amazing! If Mabel gets a hole in one here, she'll beat her all-time high score!" Dipper cheered as they stood away from his sister to give her room. Mabel glared at the ball and smacked it, causing everyone to watch as it went through the course she nearly scores a hole, but it misses and rolls into a puddle.
"Aw, nuts!" She growled, throwing the club to the ground as Dipper frowned and the crowd dispersed. "Aw, man! Well that didn't work. Oh yes, she's all done playing."
Stan placed a hand on her shoulder and said, "Ah, don't worry about it kid! The thing's random!"
"Yeah, besides the Bermuda triangle, how mini-golf works is our world's greatest mystery." Soos agreed.
"You can't win all the time." 3 comforted.
"As far as I'm concerned, you're still better than anyone else I know in Gravity..." Stan trailed off when another ball scored a hit from the same course Mabel lost.
"Woah!" They gasped and they turned to see Pacifica and her parents smiling snobbishly in front of them.
Pacifica smirked and said, "Oh, would you look at that? I didn't know it was hobo's golf free day!"
Mabel gritted her teeth and 3 snarked, "Of course you should know that, why else would you be here."
"Ooooooh." The crowd said in awe as Pacifica growled and glared at 3. "And just who are you?"
"Polaris Dirgel, the girl who just owned you." 3 said smugly as the twins high fived her. Pacifica snarled then calmed down, reapplying her smug expression as she walked over to the Pines.
"Well, if it isn't the Pines family! Fat, old, lame, tomboy, and braces!" Pointing at Soos, Stan, Dipper, 3, and Mabel respectively.
Stan growled, "Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?"
"When you were born it wasn't."
Dipper placed a hand on the girls to restrain them and said, "I got this! Hey, Pacifica! How's that whole 'your family's a fraud' thing working out for you?"
Pacifica smirked and said, "Great, actually! That's the thing about money! It makes problems go away!"
"But they're still there and waiting to bite you in the ass when you least expect it." 3 said in a sugary tone.
"Yeah! And it can't buy you skill! You walked into the game of a mini-golf champion!" Mabel said superiorly.
Pacifica laughed as she snapped her fingers, "Sergei!" A tall, stern man with an impressive mustache walked forward and Pacifica continued, "This is Sergei, my trainer!"
"The sportylmpics had mini-golf once. I took gold!" He pulled down his collar to reveal a gold medal on his chest.
"So if you don't mind moving out of the way of the professionals! Hmph..." she walks pass them and she strikes a golf ball with her club, which scores a bonus hole and causes an explosion. Mabel looks at Pacifica in shock, which gives Sergei her gloves imperiously and turned towards them.
"Enjoy second place. Give her a hand, folks!"
Mabel glared and said, "Oh, yeah? Well, I want a rematch, you walking-one-dimensional-bleach-blonde-valley-girl-stereotype!" She shouted as the crowd gasped in horror and the rich girl slammed her compact closed and whirled to face her rival.
"Like, let's do this!" The sky clouds over with thunder booming as they walk to stand face to face until honking caused them to look over at the King of Mini-golf.
"Hear ye! Hear ye! Honk, honk!" He collides with lamp post several times, then backs up and turns. "Stop at once! The park is now closed due to weather! The King of Mini-golf has spoken!" He reverses golf cart into post and tips over, "Ahh! The king is down!"
Pacifica glared at Mabel and loomed over her menacingly, "This isn't over. I still haven't forgotten that coordination comment. You, Me, Midnight. We'll see whose best!"
Mabel looked confused by the coordination part but narrowed her eyes back, "I'll be here!" Lightning flashes over them ominously and rain starts, the Northwest's whip out their umbrellas and walk away with Sergei running after them.
Mabel continues to glare as some soaked hair gets into her mouth. "I'll be here! Puh! Puh! Hair in my mouth. Puh!"
The crew went back into town to wait out the storm and stopped at the Hermanos Brothers Diner were Dipper fed Mabel nachos and 3 held up a soda for her to drink while she was moping at the table.
"Time to scratch mini-golf off my talents list." She sighed.
"Aw, don't give up, Mabel." Soos told her.
"You will prove her wrong tonight." 3 said as she rubbed Mabel's back.
Dipper nodded and said, "Yeah! If you beat her at this, she can never rag on you again. Imagine it!" Mabel's eyes unfocused for a bit as 3 groaned. "Not again."
"Ssh!"
Mabel then grinned with eyes sparkling and stood up on the table, "You're right, guys. I just need to practice a little more before midnight."
Grunkle Stan frowned and said, "Go to the golf course after dark, you say? I don't know, we'd have to break in and- Just kidding let's break in!" He finished excitedly and they piled back into the car, taking some tacos with them for secret surprise snacks.
The Stanley Mobile breaks through the toll. Grunkle Stan pulls nails out of the fence as Soos stood watch then removed the panel for the kids to squeeze through. Mabel hands him her sticker book as she, 3, and Dipper go through.
"Oh, and hey, Mabel?" Stan stopped her and he stuck a 'U DA BEST' sticker on Mabel's sweater. "Knock her dead, kid."
Mabel gives a thumbs-up and goes inside. Mabel was practicing at the windmill hole with 3 and Dipper standing on the other side of the structure. She hits a golf ball, it goes into the window, and comes to rest beside dozens of others, not in the hole.
"Darn! Poop, heck darn!" She shouted in frustration Dipper groaned in sympathy, "Ugh, I don't get it! What is wrong with this hole?" He then froze and placed his ear against the windmill and backed away with wide eyes. "Did you hear that?"
"What?"
"What? What is it?" Mabel asked as she walked over to them, Dipper turned to them and whispered to them, "Grab your clubs." The twins raise their clubs and 3 grabbed her taser as they advanced towards the windmill. They nod, and Dipper pulls away the back panel then looked down in surprise.
Little golf people were merrily moving golf balls along their Dutch-themed landscape when they notice the twins and 3 and they started to scream in terror.
"AAAHHH!"
"AAAHHH!" The kids shrieked in shock, scaring the little people even more.
"AAAHHH!"
"AAAAAHHHHH!" The twins raise their clubs and they golf ball people started to scream even louder. They shared a look and lower their clubs as the spokesman-ball tried to calm down.
"We good? We good?" He asked the kids who nodded mechanically. "All right then! Hi, hello. I'm Franz, and welcome to our home!"
"What is this?" Dipper whispered as 3 shook. "Must. Resist. Reenacting. The. Fall." 3 said clutching her taser as Dipper looked at her strangely.
"Yeah! Are you guys, tiny humans, or enormous mini-humans?"
Franz laughed merrily and continued, "Neither. We're Lilliputtians! Lilli- Lilliput... the name makes more sense written down than spoken. And we control the balls! Behold!" Franz turned around as the side of the windmill opens, revealing a complex conveyer system, with Lilliputtians turning cranks, pulling levers, and pushing turnstiles. A golf ball rolls out of the windmill into the hole.
"You do this ALL the time?" 3 asked wide eyed.
"That's incredible!" Mabel said in amazement.
"And so needlessly complicated!"
"Aw shucks. It's only our life-long passion. Would you like us to elaborate through song?" Franz asked as the Lilliputtians gather and prepare to sing.
"Eh, we're good." Dipper interrupted, the Lilliputtians groaned in disappointment and disperse.
Franz looked back up to the kids and asked, "So what are you hugelings doing here anyway?"
"We kind of have to play this golf tournament against my rival, Pacifica." Mabel told them.
"Speaking of which we should go back to practicing." 3 began until they heard the Lilliputtians mutter to each other angrily.
"Oh, we know all about rivals." Franz said darkly.
"Put a clog in it, ya windmill-lubbers!" Another voice yelled from behind. The kids turned to see the Pirate ship light up and Lilliputtians dressed as Pirates appeared. "These frilly bottom popinjays are terrible at controlling' the balls! We are the ball masters, says I! Argh!" The captain yelled as another in a French accent called from the Eiffel Tower course.
"Shut your mouths, you show-boating pirates! Everyone knows ze Eiffel Tower hole is ze best!"
"Stay your comments, ye churlish Frenchmen!" A Lilliputtian knight called from a castle. "None control the balls better than the knights of-Wiener Castle? Who wrote this?" He asked no one as he looked at the graffiti on the course castle.
"We'll settle which hole is best! Attack!" Franz yelled as he led his people armed with pencils.
"Ooh, I'm shivering' in me timbers! Get them!" The Pirates swing off of the ship and run towards the others brandishing their own pencils.
"Long live the mighty king!"
The Lilliputtians collide and start fighting in front of the kids in a mini war as they fought to the death.
"These guys are a riot!" Dipper laughed as they watched as one of the Lilliputtian's got eaten by a duck.
"I know this is a horrible war, but it reminds me of a pack of puppies wrestling." 3 cooed.
"Guys, guys, calm down!" Mabel told them chuckling as the duck flies by with the screaming Lilliputtian in its mouth. "Your fighting is inadvertently adorable!"
A bruised and battered Franz sighed and looked up at them, "Adorable we are, hugeling, but our tale less so. Every hole in the park thinks they're superior, from the cowboys in the east to the grimy miners of the south. If only there was some way to decide which side is best, with...maybe... an award, or, like a trophy, I dunno."
One of the French Lilliputtian looks up and pointed at Mabel and cried, "But Franz, look!" He points to Mabel's sticker on her sweater.
"The sticker. The sticker could decide!"
"It does say 'Ze best' on it!"
The Lead Knight Lilliputtian bowed before Mabel and declared, "Decide for us, hugeling! Choose which mini-kingdom to give a sticker to, and end our war!" He finished as the others cheered.
"Uh, I don't know guys. I'm not sure I wanna get involved in your weird mini-blood feud." Mabel began before Dipper and 3 pulled her aside.
"Pst! Mabel! This is perfect! These guys control the course! Just tell them you'll give the sticker to whichever group does a better job of helping us win!" Dipper whispered to his sister.
"I'm not sure, Dipper. I wanna beat Pacifica, but doesn't this seem like...cheating?"
"It's not cheating; it's like…being prepared. Like insurance, this way SHE won't be able to cheat." 3 assured her.
"Besides, Pacifica's rich, Mabel. She's cheating at life."
"Hmm...I guess you're right. Alright let's do this!" Mabel cheered, her competitive side rearing its head. Dipper and 3 nodded to each other and walked back to the gathered Lilliputtian's where Dipper barrowed a tiny trumpet from a knight and blows on it to gain their attention.
"Thanks, man." He said, returning it to the knight while Mabel got on top of the castle.
"People of the eighteen holes! We're going to have a game of mini-golf! And whoever does the best job of helping me win gets the sticker!" She announced as they cheered.
"It'll be us, lass. Not these tulip-munchers!" The Captain declared, gesturing at the Windmill dwellers.
"I will not be insulted by a man with no depth perception wearing earrings!"
"Just remember, as long as you're helping me, no fighting." Mabel quickly interrupted them before they could start fighting. The Lilliputtians looked at each other nodded, while smiling innocently.
"Don't hold your breath, Dipper, how long until midnight?" 3 asked as he checked his watch.
"About…now." Mabel turned to the Lilliputtians and said, "Alright you heard my brother, to your places people. Go, go, go! Time to show Pacifica who is really the best at mini-golf!" She yelled, holding up her club as the little people cheered and ran off to their areas.
Just as the last Lilliputtian got into place, Pacifica entered the area.
"So that's your rival?" A stray asked them and Mabel quickly stuffed him into her sleeve in time to hear Pacifica ask Sergei, "How much you wanna bet they're no-shows?" 3 took that as her cue to turn on the lights for the course, illuminating them.
"Looking for someone?" Mabel asked cockily while Pacifica looked unimpressed.
"Waiting in the dark, not creepy at all. Seriously though, I don't know why you bothered to come. Unless you've got something up your sleeve."
"Oh, I guess you could say we've got a little something, right, right?" She winked knowingly towards Dipper and 3 when the Lilliputtian pops out of her sleeve she shoves him back in as she, 3, and Dipper laugh nervously while Pacifica and Sergei exchanged confused looks.
Sergei walked in front of the combatants and explained the rules while 3 and Dipper stood at the side, "Eighteen holes. Standard rules. Winner lives in glory, loser wallows in eternal shame. On your mark, get set, mini-golf!"
They began at the cowboy hole, Pacifica putts and the Lilliputtians block her ball with a covered wagon. Mabel putts, the cowboys raise the grass from underground to move her ball towards the hole and a mini-gunshot was heard and her ball fell in; Mabel gives a thumbs-up when the Northwest's team backs were turned.
At the pirate hole, Mabel putts and gets the hole while Pacifica shoved her out of the way, "Out of my way!" She putts and her ball shoots out the front and lands in her mouth. "Are you serious?!" She screamed indignant, as Mabel, Dipper, and 3 laughed at her expense as the Jolly-Roger was raised.
They went to the Miner hole and Dipper turned to 3 to ask, "What do you think what cute, silly things are going on down there?"
"Hmm, let's find out." 3 suggested and they snuck around the back to eavesdrop on the Lilliputtians when Mabel putted.
"Stop! You can't go in there! There's been a gas leak! Anyone who goes in there will DIE!" One of the Miner's shouted to the kids shock.
"I'll take it." A deep voice announced and a young female shouted, "Noooo! Don't go, Big Henry! We need you!"
"Go home, Polly." Big Henry told the girl and everything went silent as 3 and Dipper backed away wide eyed as Mabel and Pacifica waited around the hole, a few minutes passed and the ball finally rolled into the hole.
"What?!" She yelled and throws her club, which Sergei catches. "Sergei! Soda! Now!" She demanded walking away Mabel lifts the lid of the mine hole while 3 and Dipper looked solemn, "Okay, guys? That was bedonkulous!" She told excitedly while the other two nodded.
"Little hi-fives everyone, little hi-fives all around." He hi-fives the miners with his finger, "Nice one... You did it... You're the man, Henry."
Mabel addressed again and said, "I don't wanna call it out early, but I think the miners might have one of these in their future!" She points to sticker on her sweater as the miners cheered happily.
While waiting for Pacifica and Sergei to return, they tallied the scores with Mabel in the lead.
"I can't wait to see the look on Pacifica's face when we win. I'm thinking it'll be like 'ugh.' He makes face. "You know how she does that? 'Ugh.'"
"I know what you mean." 3 crowed, mimicking Dipper's face, causing them to burst out laughing while Mabel looked unsure.
"Dipper, 3, is it bad that I feel good about her feeling bad?" She asked.
"It's perfectly natural, Mabel."
"Yeah, just enjoy your victory, Mabel. Trust me, Pacifica will be fine."
"Besides, it's not like we'll have another Rumble incident on our hands were they would try to kill her or turn on you or anything." 3 said dismissively when they heard Pacifica's scream nearby. They turned around to see Pacifica tied down Gulliver style front of the windmill by the Dutch Lilliputtians. "What's going on here?! Let me go!" She demanded as Dipper, 3, and Mabel screamed in horror as the Lilliputtian pops out of Mabel's sleeve.
"AAAH! What'd I miss?" He asked them as Pacifica continued to struggle against the ropes.
"Let me go, you creeps!"
Franz walks over to the kids and says, "Welcome kids, welcome! I can tell your loving this, right, right? No?" He asked when he noticed, Mabel's horror and Dipper and 3 glaring down at him.
"What are you guys doing?" Mabel asked anxiously.
"This wasn't part of the deal, tiny Dutchman!" Dipper told him angrily.
"We wanted to help Mabel win, not harm Pacifica, what's the meaning of this?"
Franz still smiling continued, "Okay, so we saw you were favoring the miners, and we figured, what's better than beating Pacifica?" He blows a raspberry, "Killing her, right?"
"I jinxed it didn't I…" 3 whispered in horror
Pacifica on the other hand ignored the death threat, "As if! I'm calling my parents. Where's my phone?" They turned their attention to the Dutch Lilliputtians playing with the phone and were writing a message to Tiffany that said, 'U R DUMM!'
"Hehe, send." He giggled, pressing the button.
"Hey, hey!"
"So how about it, hugeling? Who's da best now?" Franz asked smugly as the kids glared down at him.
"Not so fast land lubbers!" The Captain yelled and they turned to see the pirates had tied up Sergei. "If you're going to play dirty, so are we. Now give us the sticker, or he walks the plank!"
"No! Give us ze sticker!" The French Lilliputtians demanded.
"The miners! Give it to the miners!"
The Lilliputtians all clamor around, pressuring Mabel and demanding that she gave them the sticker until Mabel snapped.
"ENOUGH!" She screamed, causing her voice to echo ominously throughout the now silent park as they all looked at her. "No one gets the sticker!"
"Sacre booo!" The French yelled, causing them to boo at her.
"No, no. Nuh-uh. No booing- stop, no! No one gets the sticker cuz you're all being jerks! I mean, why can't you all just get along?" She asked them.
"Because we hate each other." One of the Dutch called.
"That's kind of how rivalries work, lass." The Captain shrugged.
Mabel sighed and turned to Pacifica and said, "Well then, maybe... maybe rivalries are dumb. Maybe you don't settle them with petty competitions. Maybe the only way to be 'da best' is by ending the fighting and working together!" She rips off the sticker, crushes it, and eats it angrily, causing the Lilliputtians gasp and converse to each other.
"It's all so clear."
"If we work together..."
"Then we can cut open her belly and get the sticker!" They all cheer and rush forward.
"Get ze girl! Slice her open!" The French called as the others advanced armed with golf pencils.
"Uh, you guys aren't appreciating the lesson here!" Mabel said nervously as she backed away and a lever nearby Pacifica is pulled and she starts being pulled toward the windmill, whose blades started to spin at deadly speeds causing her to scream in terror.
"We gotta get out of here!" Dipper called as 3's fingers sharpened in a threatening gesture.
"I have to save Pacifica first!" She climbs a lamp post, followed by the swarm of Lilliputtians. She swings along a chain of lights from her club and lands by the windmill, evading the golf pencil spears thrown by the crowd.
Sergei calls out to Dipper and 3 causing them to turn, "Ah, Mister Dipper, Mistress Polaris! Niet, niet!" He yelled, trying to balance on the plank.
"Don't freak out, man! The water's shallow! There's literally no way to drown!" Dipper assured him and Sergei falls in face first in the pond, causing bubbles to pop to the surface as he drowned, much to 3 and Dipper's exasperation.
"Seriously?"
"Stupidity at its finest." They rolled Sergei out of the pond and untied him while 3 'borrowed' the King of Mini-golf's golf cart and drives over to Mabel and Pacifica who were fending off the Lilliputtian's with their clubs.
"Get on, get on!" Dipper ordered as the girl's scrambled onto the vehicle.
"Gun it!" Mabel called as they avoided pencil spears and heard the Captain yell, "Don't let them escape!" The golf cart heads for the exit and knights cut a string, releasing a pair of swinging axes in front of the gate. Dipper hits the gas and the zoom through, barely passing undamaged.
"What the hell is wrong with the designers of this park!?" 3 yelled in frustration. "Who in their right minds would design an attraction with live steel axes!?"
"Less talking and more driving!" Pacifica yelled as they headed for the loop-de-loop and Sergei falls off from the momentum.
"Sergei overboard!"
Pacifica looks back and looks over towards the others and said, "I'll get a new one."
"They're shutting us in!" Dipper yelled as Lilliputtian's started to shut the main entrance and the cart was being assaulted by another Lilliputtian on the roof. Mabel climbs on the roof armed with a club and confronted Franz.
"Don't even think about it. You call yourself a golfer? Without us, that club is useless in your hands!" He mocked her from above.
"Oh yeah? What's ten minus six?" Mabel asked.
"Ten minu- what- hang on..."
"Four!" She hits Franz into the bonus hole causing it to glow and shoots up a column of lava, which the golf cart rides on. They skid through the gates and stop in the parking lot, where the cart falls apart as pencils and an ax poke through the sealed gate.
"Stay out, you dumb hugeling!" Franz yelled from the other side as regular golf balls are pelted at them from over the wall.
Pacifica glared at the door and marched over to the door, "What did you say, you little trolls!? I will sue you! I will sue you and I will own you!" She whirls to face twins and 3 and marched over to them to begin hotly, "You three! I don't know what you did or what's going on, but if you think just because you saved my life I-" She was cut off when Mabel hands her a sticker with a cat on it saying 'I a-paw-logize.'
"I'm sorry, Pacifica." Mabel apologized. "We shouldn't have cheated. You totally would have beat me, fair and square." She admitted as she held out her hand.
Pacifica frowned and sticks it on her chest. "You're just lucky this sticker looks fantastic on me." She told her while crossing her arms and avoiding eye contact just as Stan and Soos pulls up next to them. They got into the car then Mabel noticed that Pacifica standing alone in the parking lot, without a ride. She turns to 3 and Dipper who shook their heads.
Mabel ignored them and called, "Hey! Your parents aren't here. Want a ride home?"
"Ugh, please. As if I'd ride in your-" She was interrupted by thunder and lighting. She sighed and reluctantly got into the car and sat between 3 and Mabel with Dipper squashed against the window.
After a few minutes of awkward silence, Stan and Soos began to sing a little song to fill the silence. "Singing the Driving Song/ Headlights are out/ and can't really see where I'm going/ Bada-do Hey." The sung as Mabel reach in the back to pull out two tacos.
"Hey, I found two tacos!" She announced as she eats one as Pacifica looks at her strangely.
"You're allowed to eat in the car?" She asked in amazement.
"Yeah! The car is where secret surprise snacks happen! Want one?" She asked, holding the other out towards her rival.
"Oh, I'm not supposed to take handouts."
"Handouts? It's called sharing! You do know what sharing is, right?"
"Sha-shaawing?" She butchered it.
"Just take it."
After a few more minutes, they pull up to Pacifica's mansion and she got out of the car. "Thanks for the ride, or whatever. Oh, and Mabel? Um, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I had fun. And tell your servant I like his W-neck!"
"Yes!" He cheered as the flap in the middle falls down.
"Huh, guess there is a heart under all that make up."
"So are you guys, like, cool now?" Dipper asked.
"I think we made some progress. The important thing to remember is that at the end of the day, she's just an ordinary kid like us." The gates swing open to reveal the Northwest mansion, complete with fountains and peacocks wander around on the lawn. Fireworks go off a moment later above a neon sign saying 'CONGRADULATIONS PACIFICA!'
Mabel trailed off and Dipper mutters, "We should have charged her for that taco."
"Agreed!"
"Indeed."
Soos looked over and asked, "Hey, got any more of those surprise tacos?" The kids laughed as they drove home.
"You know, I never did figure out what that coordination comment was about." Mabel said after a while and 3 blushed.
"Remember the carpet incident?"
"Oh." She said in understanding as Stan drove up to the Mystery Shack.
"Holy Smokes! The Shack is on fire!" They froze and sure enough the kitchen curtains were on fire and peering out the window.
"WADDLES!" Mabel shrieked running out the car with 3 on her heels.
"You had one job!"
After putting out the fire the twins and 3 crashed in the attic to relax. "Well, so much for taking a break." Dipper groaned, flopping face down on his bed, with 3 sitting on the floor.
"Yeesh, what happened to you guys?" 2 asked.
"Nothing, just Gravity Falls weirdness strikes again."
"Ahh." 2 said in understanding.
"Yeah, it's like we're weirdness magnets." Mabel said cheerfully as she jumped on top of her brother's back.
"Ow…Mabel."
"Well, it wouldn't be Gravity Falls if we didn't have on near death experience this week."
"Agreed." Mabel laughed then frowned when she felt something under the blanket, "What the hey-hey?"
"What's wrong?"
"I sat on something." She reaches under and pulls out the Ruby Jack-o-Lantern to show them.
"Oh, yeah, I had forgotten about that." 3 remembered the artifact from Summerween.
"We never did figure out what it was or what it does." Dipper agreed, taking it from his sister to examine it. Mabel grinned and said, "Looks like we have a mystery on our hands."
"Yeah…it can wait till tomorrow, I'm beat." 3 said, stretching.
"Agreed." The twins chorused and left to get ready for bed as 3 followed them, leaving the necklace on the bed and it flashed for a second then dimmed.
*Bonus* this is a little extra before my 100 reviews chapter; it's just headcanons and theories I have for the show.
1. Dipper is a very powerful mystic. Have you guys noticed that Dipper can perform very powerful and complex spells and rituals on his FIRST try? From Dreamscaperers, Dipper managed to send not one but 3 people into Stan's mind. I don't know about you, but I think that requires a lot of power to do and no one was trapped or injured in the process. Second thing was from Scary-Oke, he managed to summon a whole legion of zombies with little effort which should be at least high level necromancy and he got it once again on his first try. Third, well it's a little out there and pushing it: during Inconveniencing, Dipper noticed a lot of weird stuff such as the brain and the skeletons where no one noticed a thing and another strike in the necromancy were he summons Ma and Pa by lying down, but that's speculation.
2. Soos's father could be the author. I know this won't be the case, but it leads me to believe that the author is may no longer be in Gravity Falls and fled to either protect someone or his/her secrets.
3. The Woodpeckers know. Woodpeckers are everywhere, maybe they were the author's familiars that watch over those who will obtain their master's books.
4. The man who was never shown from Irrational Treasure will be playing a much larger role in the future. He's never shown again and was never confronted, so he has to come back soon.
5. Sometime in the future, Dipper will get his own pet. Mabel has her own companion in Waddles, which was pretty much destined to happen since all the repeats Dipper went through so it stands to reason since Dipper and Mabel are twins, Dipper will get his own companion that he was destined to meet.