Chapter 22
Disclaimer: Don't own
Talk- normal
Talk- 3 thinking
"Talk"- 3 or books talking
A/N: Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Here's a Valentine's present for all my reader's.
The Deep End
It's been a week since the twins and 3 had taken in the Saldine and they soon found that, like all pets and babies, it was lot of work. From being woken up in the night for demands of food or affection to some of Mabel's stuffed animals used as teething toys to 2 (who was getting used to having a body) having a tug of war over the amulet to the better not spoken clean-up. That being said, Flamel did make things much more interesting at the Shack.
Such as Stan, who was delighted when he found out that having it tied out on the porch tended to draw more tourists in because their kids would scream at their parents to stop so that they could "pet the weird blue puppy." 3 was ecstatic when she found out that Flamel likes to use the gnomes as chew toys and as a ball to play fetch with. Mabel loved to dress Flamel up in clothes and sharing them with her friends, she also declared that Flamel and Waddles were BFF's. 2, who had made a few appearances as Alcor "Al" Dirgel and helps out at the shack for free, has been training Flamel to watch over the kids in case they encounter a less than friendly creature. Dipper was enjoying having his own pet creature to study without the risk of being eaten or mauled, though he was concerned that they were hindering its natural development.
However, today was not a tourist day as it was the hottest day of the year were no tourist would be caught dead in a stuffy, non-air-conditioned shack in the middle of nowhere. So Stan closed up shop with the Mystery Shack employees were in various stages of undress in an attempt to cool off, with an exception with 2 and 3 as they don't feel the heat.
They were all camped out in the living room while listening to the radio prattle on about how hot it is, "Watch out, Gravity Falls, because at a 110 degrees, we're looking at the hottest day of the summer!"
The humans all shared a groan and Dipper moaned, "All in favor of doing nothing all day say 'ugh.'"
Mabel, Stan, and Soos all weakly raised their heads to groan in agreement while 2 looked out the window. "Did I just see a squirrel spontaneously combust?"
"Ugh. You're not making us feel any cooler, pretty boy. Make yourself useful and get me some ice." Stan said, throwing 2 an empty bucket of ice-cream. 2 huffed and left as Waddles and Flamel walked over to Stan.
"I'm gonna throw this pig and dog out of the house!" He growled as Waddles began licking his face and Flamel joyfully hopped onto Stan's gut to suck up the excess heat.
"You called my bluff." Stan grunted as 2 came back to throw boiling water over Stan's prone form. "HEY, what you'd think ya doing!? I told you to get some ice!" He yelped.
"I did. The ice melted and started to boil when I took it out of the freezer." 2 pointed out, unrepentant; he didn't like Stan due to him forcing 3 into being an attraction with Dipper and intending to keep the three of them locked in the basement with the portal.
"I'd fire you if you didn't work for free." Stan groused and glared harder, "Why aren't you or your sister sweating like the rest of us?" Stan asked, pointing at the pristine 3 and 2's unbothered appearance.
"Rare genetic quirk. We aren't affected by temperatures above or below average." 2 answered unconcerned as the radio continued, "On the bright side, pun very much intended, its opening week at the Gravity Falls Pool." That bit of information had the humans perking up while the books started to get nervous, turns out all books have an aversion to water, even human books.
"Gravity Falls Pool?" Mabel asked hopefully as Dipper said, "Today?"
"Pun intended?" Soos said continuing the trend as Stan grinned and announced, "Quick! To the car!" Stan attempted to get up, but his sweat somehow glued him to the floorboards. "Hey, kids, a little help here?" He asked, looking at the twins while Flamel licked his face. Mabel and Dipper pulled out spatulas they had just in case this happened and pry's Stan, along with the floorboards he was stuck to, off the ground.
"All right! Off to the pool!" He runs off as the radios continued, "And remember to be on alert for random wildfires!" 2 hid a smile as Stan's pants spontaneously combusted and screamed.
"He'll be fine. Let's get our swim suits on!" Mabel said cheerfully as 2 and 3 grimaced.
"This is perfect! A great way to cool off and it provides the perfect opportunity to teach Flamel how to swim." Dipper cheered as Soos went outside to check on Stan.
"Well, have fun with that. While you're doing that, me and 2 will be holding down the fort incase a monster tries to beat the heat here." 3 said, shooing the twins upstairs.
"Wait, you're not coming with us?" Dipper asked, turning towards her.
"Of course not! I can't touch water remember? I'll become fragile and tear easily, not to mention my ink runs, making me lose valuable information!"
"Actually, I think me and Wendy figured out a solution to your problem, but that's beside the point. We actually need you to teach Flamel how to swim." Dipper informed her calmly.
There stunned silence from 3 when she suddenly burst, "WHAT!? Why do I have to be the one to do it!?"
"Because, 2 can you turn back for a bit?" Dipper asked and held up the Saldine's page, "It says here that only the mother could teach it how to swim and since it thinks we're their parents, which means you have to teach it."
"WHY?! It's not like we live in a lake or a stream, why do we need to teach it how to swim anyway!?"
"3, I'm worried that raising Flamel as a captive animal is hindering its development. The best thing we could do is to raise it as it would've been raised in the wild, so we have to teach it how to swim." Dipper stated calmly, crossing his arms as Mabel watches them go back and forth like it was a tennis match.
"B-but, why do I have to? Why can't you or Mabel do that, I mean who's to say it could tell the difference between genders in human's for all he knows he thinks humans are unisex with different features." 3 argued.
Dipper opened his mouth to argue then closed it then said, "You have a point there."
3 nodded happily, thinking he was seeing it her way, not noticing the calculating gleam in his eye. "I mean, I would make a better mother of the two of us."
3 froze and stared at him in shock, Dipper continued, seemingly oblivious to the girl's dumbfounded faces. "I mean let's face it, I'm the delicate, stay at home type, the kind that would happily take care of the baby while researching. You on the other hand are the stronger of the two of us so you would be the one to provide. Not to mention with your fierce protective instinct's you would make the better father."
3's mind went blank, then she filled with all-consuming fury and indignation, "What the hell!? Are you calling me butch!? A macho girl!?" She screamed in his face, causing him to back away in shock. She advanced towards him and jabbed a finger in his chest, "That I'm not girlish enough!? That I don't have a feminine bone in my body!? Well, I AM feminine and I AM the mother in this relationship! Mabel!" She whirled to the other female, causing her to jump in surprise, "Let me burrow one of your swimsuits! Honestly, not feminine, well I'll show you, I'll teach Flamel how to swim even if it's the last thing I'll ever do!"
It wasn't until they were half way to the pool when 3 noticed Dipper's satisfied expression that she realized she's been had, "Son of a-! You used reverse psychology on me!"
Soon, Stan, Soos, the twins, 2, a reluctant 3, and an excited Flamel arrived at the pool were most of the town were enjoying themselves at.
"Ah, the pool! A sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!" Mabel said in contentment as 3 shuddered and Stan grimaced.
"Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's like the bus, but wet."
As 3 was shunning him, Dipper turned to Soos in an attempt to drum up conversation, "Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?" He asked, nodding towards his towel.
"It's best not to think about it."
Mabel suddenly stopped, causing 3 to ram into her, "Whoa, whoa! Stop the presses! Who's that?" 3 followed her line of sight to see her gazing a Latino boy occupying the far side of the pool and holding on to a raft. Soos who was eating some corn chips said, "Oh, yeah. Word is dude never leaves the pool. People say he's a 'Mysterious loner.'"
"Wait." 3 asked, breaking her silence. "The pool just opened, so how would they know about him or that he stays in the pool?"
"Is it getting hot out here or is it just that guy?" Mabel asked rhetorically ignoring 3's question, fanning herself.
"It's the hottest day of the year, Mabel. Besides, can't you go for one week without having a new crush on some random guy?" Dipper asked in annoyance as he wiped off the corn chip crumbs Soos spilt on him.
"Uh-uh. Look at his little mustache hairs!" Mabel gushed on about her newest crush, ignoring her brother. Soos stooped over to say, "You are clearly enamored. Go to him." Mabel didn't need to be told twice, she raced across the pool, tripping over a bucket and stumbled on top two men in lawn chairs and spilling beach balls over the deck when her leg got caught in another, unoccupied one.
"Aaah! Oops, sorry." She called over her shoulder as she dove into the pool to interact with her newest crush.
"It's so beautiful!" Soos smiled, ignoring the chaos the elder Pines twin caused as Dipper sighed.
"Mabel's all talk. You wanna know a secret? She's never even kissed a guy before. She always messes it up somehow." Dipper told them.
"Oi. Women." Stan agreed as a random water balloon is thrown in his face, "Aaah!"
Dipper, Soos, 2 and 3 looked up to see Wendy sitting on the lifeguard chair with a bucket filled with balloons next to her. "Hey, Mr. Pines!" She greeted her coworkers with a wave.
"Wendy? Where's the lifeguard?" Stan demanded looking around.
"I am the lifeguard. I make the rules, sucka! Boosh!" She said as she starts pelting Stan with water balloons to make her point.
"Aah! She's attacking me with water!" Stan yelled, fleeing as Wendy, Soos, 2, 3, and Dipper laugh at his expense as Dipper turned towards his friend, "Wow. You work here?"
"I found out lifeguards get free snack privileges. Plus I get the best seat in the house." She said, gesturing at the raised seat.
"Yeah, you do! Hey Wendy, do you have you-know-what for you-know-who?" Dipper asked conspiratorially, pointing at 3 and had Soos frowning.
"Psst, dude, do you and Wendy have a secret code? Are you planning the inflatable duck revolution? Cause I would totally help you dudes-" He was cut off by Wendy who grinned, "Totally, today's the day you'd help Aris get over her fear of water?" Wendy asked as she pulled out a spray bottle.
3 finally asked crossing her arms protectively, "And what, if I may ask, would spray cleaner do for me?"
Wendy grinned, "It's not cleaner Aris, its waterproof spray. We spray it on you and, boom, you repel water thus your weakness to water is solved." (A/N: Special thank you to Guest Reviewer GoatXPig)
3 wasn't convinced, "Sounds too good to be true. What kind of application would that serve, pray tell? Besides how would you clean anything you'd spray it with?"
Wendy didn't answer and shook the bottle and was about to spray her when she unscrewed the cap and poured the liquid over a surprised 3. "Hey! What do you think-Eeeek!?" She squealed when Wendy threw a water balloon in her face, she shook herself dry like a dog and realized that the water didn't touch her and was just sliding off her in droplets. "I-It works." 3 whispered in surprise as 2 nodded. "Mind throwing some of that my way, Wendy?" 2 asked politely, Wendy who was aware that 2 now has a body due to him helping out at the Shack and at times taking over her shift, grinned. "Sure, dude. I got a crate of this stuff back home." She said, throwing 2 a can and another to 3.
"Excellent, have fun kids." 2 said, catching the can and left with Soos to find Stan, leaving Dipper, Wendy, 3 and Flamel alone.
"Thank you Wendy." 3 said after a moment.
"No problem, so what are you two crazy kids up to?"
"Well, first I'll teach 3 how to swim then she'll teach Flamel here how to swim. We're trying to provide a natural environment for it to grow." Dipper explained, nodding to Flamel who was sniffing and licking the inside of a pool vent. If 3 listened hard enough, she could've sworn she heard laughing.
Wendy suddenly cringed, "This could be a problem guys. You see my boss here; Mr. Poolcheck is like super, crazy strict about rules. He'd have a cow if he saw your 'dog' here." She said making air quotation marks and pointing to the side. The kids followed the direction and saw a blonde, masculine man doing pushups with his index fingers and 3 quickly hid Flamel in a nearby cooler when he turned his attention towards them.
"Hmm, this could make things a little more difficult." Dipper admitted nervously. Wendy thought for a moment then grinned. "I probably shouldn't be telling you guy this, but there's a private Jacuzzi that nobody knows about. I could show you were it is."
"Really!"
"That'll be perfect, Wendy!" Dipper exclaimed.
"Sure, but first I have to hold tryouts. We're looking for a new assistant lifeguard." She quickly looked around and grabbed a random dude who was walking by. "Hey, want to be an assistant lifeguard?"
"Uh…sure?"
"Great, you start right now. Cover for me." She handed him a board and shoved him over to Mr. Poolcheck. "Now that's over with, let's head over to the Jacuzzi." She led the kids, who were carrying the cooler behind the Pool Jail to find a locked door littered with keep out signs. She checked for anyone watching and quickly took out a key and unlocked it to see a raised marble tub in the middle of a tastefully decorated room that featured a one-sided mirror that showed off a stream near the pool and had a waterfall that was filling the tub with warm water.
"Well here it is: Gravity Falls Secret Jacuzzi. Now we have all the time in the world to teach you how to swim or until closing. Whichever comes first."
"Okay, let's do this. Luckily I thought ahead and got us a book: A thickhead's guide to swimming and other aquatic activities. Step one: Get in the water. Step two: Float in water. Step 3: Start moving your limbs. Step 4: Swim."
"That sounds easy enough." 3 nodded and jumped in the Jacuzzi. She floated for a moment then sank like lead and while she was underwater she started to flail her limbs in a mock swimming fashion. Is this working? She thought as she managed to move slightly forward before everything went black.
"….ris?"
"…re…okay?"
"3 wake up!" Dipper's voice rang out, causing 3 to jerk awake. "Dipper?" 3 tried to say before she had a coughing fit as Dipper pounded on her back to get rid of excess water still in her lungs. When the fit passed, she looked around to find herself lying on a towel with Flamel kneading its claws on her lap with Dipper and Wendy on either side of her with a worried look.
"What happened?" 3 asked, clearing her throat.
"You forgot to hold your breath underwater so you almost drowned. Luckily Dipper figured out what happened and pulled you out."
"That would've been useful information. What do we do now?" 3 groused, absently rubbing her chest.
"We'll start with baby steps. I'll go in the water with you and teach you how to float then we'll start from there." Dipper said with slightly flushed cheeks as he pulled out water wings and helped her put them on.
They both entered the water, with Wendy keeping an eye on them in case of an encore, "Okay according to the more in-depth guide, we need a wetsuit, some rope, a water board and a boat."
"What?" The girl's chorused looking at him strangely. Dipper rechecked and blushed, "Oh, I was on the fly boarding page." He turned to the right page, "Okay, first you have to get comfortable in the water. The best way to do this is to lie on your back and let the water hold you up; it helps if another person is holding the learner up so they feel comfortable."
3 nodded and did as he said with Dipper holding her up, "Okay, next you have to start kicking…" 3 lashed out and kicked up a large wave that splashed both Wendy and Flamel.
"Hey! Not cool!" Wendy shrieked as Flamel shook itself dry.
"…gently to propel yourself." Dipper finished facepalming.
3 blushed, "Ah, sorry." She apologized and started kicking, gentler this time, as Dipper led her around the water.
"Okay. Okay, you're doing fine. Now we'll try to turn, shift your body to the right and kick, a little harder now." Dipper encouraged, 3 nodded and kicked once again with Wendy moving out of the way with the Saldine in her arms.
However she kicked too far and took out some of the stone and scrapping her foot in the process. "OW! Dammit!" She hissed tearing out of Dipper's hold to rub her foot as tiny droplets of ink poked through the scratches.
"You alright?" Dipper asked in concern.
"Yeah, I'm just peachy." She growled as Wendy inspected the ruined stone. "Esh, think my boss will notice?" She asked nervously.
After retrieving the stone chunk and haphazardly gluing it back on, the lesson continued this time swimming on her stomach with Dipper dragging her around the water by her arms.
"This time we'll work on holding your breathe underwater. Take a deep breath and it in and gently plunge your head underwater." Dipper instructed her. She obeyed and managed to do well for 5 seconds before she burst back out of the water with a yelp and started rubbing at her eyes.
"…You had your eyes open underwater didn't you?" Dipper asked.
"How did you know?"
"Let's try it again." This went on for another half hour with varying amounts of success until Wendy called for a break. "Okay guys, time to recharge. Let's eat some snacks and when we comeback we can have Flamel have his turn in the Jacuzzi. Besides, you two must be prunes by now."
"Prunes?" 3 asked, tilting her head to the side. Dipper just showed him his hand that was all wrinkled and shriveled. "Yeah, prolonged exposure to water could do that." He said with a shrug, not noticing 3's horrified expression. She checked her hands and was relieved and a little disappointed to see that her skin was still the same. "Huh, must be because of the spray. Come on, let's get a bite to eat and see how Mabel latest crush hunt is going."
The group left, with Flamel in his cooler, to stake out the snack bar where they saw a smug 2 lounging nearby sipping some lemonade. 3 left the group to join him. "Why do you look like the cat that got the canary only to find out it was covered in salmon and catnip flavored cream." 3 asked when she was in earshot.
2 cringed and said, "First: Ew. Second, I'm like this because me and Stanford are currently at war with each over this chair." He said stretching out like a cat and nodding to Stan who was hiding behind the lifeguard chair, glaring at the two."
"Don't antagonize him; I have to work for him. Also, Stanford? You sound like Gideon." 3 scolded, sipping her drink. 2 grimaced, "Ugh, sorry. But you try being stuck with that twerp for 2 years with no other contact. I swear, if I sound like him again, slap me." 3 slapped him with a mischievous grin while Stan laughed in the background.
"I said next time!"
"Just practicing." 3 said with a shrug, watching Mabel play peek-a-boo with her newest crush then offering him a drenched sandwich. "So how are the lessons going?" 2 asked out of the blue.
3 frowned and sighed, "So far I've almost drowned twice, burned my eyes with hot, chlorinated water, and took out a head-sized chunk of stone. Don't get me wrong, Dipper's a good teacher and all but its slow going."
"Everyone learns at their own pace 3." 2 assured her while casually reflecting Stan's light attack back at him with 3's monocle.
"That's just it, I don't want to go at my pace, I want to get this done quickly so I can teach Flamel and prove myself to Dipper that I can be the mother of the relationship."
"3 you know he doesn't really think that, he only said that to get you to the pool without a fuss." 2 pointed out and 3 nodded, thinking back to how Dipper reacted to the Manliness Tester and shook her head.
"I know that, but it really got me thinking and that he had a point: I am kind of sort of, maybe, slightly a tomboy."
"There's nothing wrong with that. In fact it's probably best you are one, imagine how you would have been like if you acted like Pacifica. You'd be complaining about how you chipped a nail and you got dirt on your earrings and your outfit is ruined." 2 said jokingly.
"I think you've given me nightmare fuel, you idiot! But seriously, I also want to get it over with so we don't have to come here ever again. The faster I teach Flamel, the faster we can leave."
"And?"
"That and, well, I also want to prove that I can be a care giver and all that junk and maybe, well, uh…" 3 trailed off blushing while 2 just chuckled in understanding.
"That he'd consider you as girlfr-urmf!" 3 lunged on top of him and slapped a hand over his mouth flushed with fury and embarrassment. "SHUT UP!" 2 ignored his sister as he laughed behind her hand as Dipper walked over to the books.
"What are you guys doing?" Dipper asked in bemusement as he watched a hysterically laughing 2 being smothered by an enraged 3 on the lawn chair. "Nothing. Just 2 being a moron who doesn't know what he's talking about." 3 groused, elbowing him hard in the stomach that left her brother wheezing and rolling off him.
"I see…ready for another try?" Dipper asked, shaking his head in amusement.
"Very well." They were about to go back to the Jacuzzi when they noticed Mr. Poolcheck exit the area with a pulsing vein on his forehead and a look of fury on his face and blew his whistle and took out his megaphone. "Pool's closing! Everyone Clear Out!" He yelled into the speaker making everyone hold their ears in pain.
"Poolcheck!" Dipper gasped as 3 slid the cooler containing the Saldine under a fence gap nearby as Poolcheck made his way to Wendy who was shifting side to side nervously.
"Lifeguard!" He growled.
"Yes, Sir?" She said in a salute.
"Some hooligans broke into the area behind the Pool Jail and vandalized the compound, also a cooler is missing. Have you seen anyone enter or exit the sector?" He demanded.
Wendy, 3, and Dipper traded looks and said, "No sir. My friend Dipper here."
"Hi."
"Was teaching his friend to swim in the shallows while I observed, I left my other duties to the Assistant Lifeguard, perhaps he saw something." She suggested. He thought for a moment and nodded. "Very well. I will question the maggot; you lock up the pool supplies while I locate the new recruit." Poolcheck takes off his false hand, pats it a couple of times and a pair of keys come out of it and handed it to Wendy while he jogged off to confront the AL.
"Man that was close." Wendy sighed in relief as she shooed Soos away from the inflatable ducks to lock them up for the night.
"Yeah, we didn't even get Flamel in the water." Dipper said sadly as they looked for Mabel and Stan.
"Eh, you guys can just sneak into the pool at night." Wendy said with a shrug.
"Wait, what?" The kids asked.
"Oh sure, everybody does it. Even I've done it. As long as you don't get caught by the night pool patrol, you can get away scot-free." Wendy admitted as she got into her bike and rode off when Mabel joined them.
"Heya Mabel, how'd it go?" Dipper greeted his twin as they gathered into the car.
"Did the guy put a restraining order on you yet?"
Mabel just grinned and said, "It's going great! We brushed each other's hair, I gave him a sandwich, played Marco Polo, and he played a guitar, its going so well! We're just getting to know each other right now, but I have a good feeling about this one! In fact, we're going to have a rendezvous tonight at the pool!" She cried joyfully and with pride.
"As long as he isn't gnomes, have fun." 3 said in disinterest, absently scratching Flamel's head.
"Well, we have to sneak into the pool as well since we didn't get to teaching Flamel, why don't we sneak in together and we can leave you alone while you harass your crush." Dipper suggested, joking towards the end.
"Sure, he needs to meet his new brother and sister-in-law anyway."
There was a pause and a Dipper asked, "What?"
"What?" His sister cut him off.
"No, what did you-?"
"You must be hearing things
That night the twins, 3 and Flamel drove the cart back to the pool. Mabel got out of her seat and started to climb up the fence when 3 whistled.
"Mabel, there's a gap here; you don't have to do everything as though you're in a spy movie." 3 hissed at Mabel who had made a racket on the fence
"But that's no fun!" Mabel called and proceeds climbing, using a pool net as a base, bending it to meet her sibling and his friend.
"So where is Mr. Mysterious?" 3 asked looking for the boy she saw just this morning. Mabel glanced around and pointed to the edge of the pool.
"There he is! Hey! Mermando! It's me Mabel from this morning; we combed each other's hair." Mabel called walking over with Dipper, 3, and Flamel trailing behind her.
"Ah, Mabel." He said in a deep voice and swam over to greet them then froze when he noticed Dipper and 3 behind Mabel. "Uh, who are they? I thought you said you wouldn't tell anybody my terrible secret." He asked in a slightly accusing tone.
Mabel waved him off, "You don't have to worry about Dipper or 3. They've seen waaaaaaaaay crazier stuff then you. In fact 3 is a living, breathing book that somehow grew a body and they adopted a hybrid love-child."
"Mabel! Don't say it like that! How do we now he won't go spilling our secrets or reporting us to the loony patrol!" 3 chastised.
Mermando smiled and said, "Ah, but if I would reveal you then I would be revealing myself for I am…a merman." He said, dramatically pushing the raft away to show that instead of legs he had a sea green tail.
"It's not as dramatic the second time around." Mabel said in disappointment.
Dipper shook his head and tuned to Mermando, "Hi, my name is Dipper, Mabel's twin and this is 3." 3 gave him a little wave as Flamel stretched his neck to inspect and lick the merman.
"Ahaha, your blue dog, he is affectionate and tickles." He laughed, shoving his head away playfully.
"Well since technically you're a creature I suppose it'll be alright to tell you. Flamel isn't a dog he's a Saldine." 3 told him as she removed the disguise leaving Mermando in shock.
"A Saldine! It has been a long time since a merperson has laid eyes on one." Mermando told them in awe.
"You know about them?" Dipper asked in interest.
The merman nodded, "It's mother, the Undine, is a part of my people. The reason we no longer see them is because it takes like, 30 years for the egg to hatch and that's if the Salamander remembers to incubate right after the egg is laid." Mermando said with a shrug.
"Huh, 2's entries didn't mention that. All it said was that its dependent on its parents and it needs its mother to swim." Dipper said, drinking in the information the merman provided.
"Yes, that is when an Undine remembers about the egg, if she doesn't then it falls to what or whoever finds it to teach and care for it."
"Isn't that kind of dangerous?"
"Perhaps." Mermando admitted, "But, the Saldine wouldn't remain with you two if it felt threatened, so you two are doing a good job, for now." Mabel was getting jittery and cut in, "Well that's a relief! So how about you two continue teaching my niece/nephew to swim while me and Mermando chat." She said, picking up Flamel and shoving it into her brother's arms and pushing 3 and Dipper towards the other side of the pool.
"Oh yeah, that reminds me, Mermando could you tell us which gender Flamel is?" 3 asked, twisting to look at the merman. Said merman examined the Saldine by checking the snout, its back, and underside of the tail to conclude. "The Saldine, he is a boy."
"Thanks!" 3 called as Mabel continued to shove them away.
Soon they were in their 'side' of the pool, trying to convince Flamel to get into the pool. Which was easier said than done.
"Come on Flamel, the water won't hurt you." Dipper coaxed the Saldine, who was clinging to Dipper's shirt like a leech, a leech with razor sharp talons. He was standing ankle deep in the water with 3 sitting on the side.
"Yeah, unlike me, you were made for the water." 3 agreed. "It won't cause you to go limp and frail while your life blood fades into nothingness and…" she trailed off when she caught Dipper's 'shut up you're not helping' face.
Dipper sighed and started to lower him into the pool causing Flamel to panic and start clawing his way up the boy's torso, leaving his T-shirt in shreds as Flamel jumped into 3's arms with a high pitched keen.
"Well, that didn't work." He said, rubbing the scratches on his chest. "Any ideas?"
"None." 3 sighed, trying to calm the creature.
"Why don't just slowly lower it into shallow water where it could stand?" A voice asked from behind them. They jerked to see a kid stuck in the pool vent looking at them.
"H-how long have you been there!?"
"I've been in solitary confinement for the past year." He sighed. "Any way, you just need to ease your dog into the water and it will probably help if your girlfriend was in the water too. Supposedly it sets an example for the dog and it helps instill confidence, also start in shallow water." He continued nodding to 3.
"S-s-she's not my girlfriend! She's my friend that just so happens to be a girl!" Dipper exclaimed, blushing just as hard as 3 was.
"Right, sure." The kid said with a shrug. 3 took a deep breath, quickly sprayed on the water-proof spray and walked into the water, wincing as Flamel dug its claws into her flesh. She slowly lowered the Saldine into the liquid until it was standing in the water. She kept her hands on its sides to keep it from fleeing or running into the deep end where Mabel and Mermando were. Slowly Flamel's sides stopped quivering in fear as time passed and he started to slowly walk in the water, testing the waters.
"Okay, it seems its comfortable now, you can let go of him now." The kid instructed. 3 slowly released the Saldine as he tested his fish tail as he ventured into deeper waters. Okay what did Dipper say again? Keep yourself balanced as you float? With Flamel observing her, she demonstrated how to float and started to swim, if a little shakily. The Saldine mimicked her and started to kick his legs and move his tail to gain speed.
Within the hour, Flamel lost his reluctance in the water and started to speed about and diving in the water, zooming past Mermando causing the Merman to drop his guitar in surprise.
"Well he's swimming." 3 said, treading water.
"Yeah, thanks for the help." Dipper said to both 3 and the pool vent kid.
"We would've been here a lot longer if you hadn't spoken up." 3 told the kid, causing him to blush in embarrassment.
"Aw it was nothing."
"By the way, what did you do to land yourself in solitary?" Dipper asked curiously.
"Well, I dropped a candy bar in the pool." He began.
"What? That doesn't deserve a yearlong punishment in solitary!?"
"…It wasn't a candy bar." The kids froze and shuddered in disgust.
"Right, time to get out of the pool. Come here Flamel!" Dipper called as they rushed out of the pool and ran to the showers.
After showering, including some bleach, they went to get Mabel.
"The pool will open in 10 hours, let's go back and get some sleep and come back later." Dipper announced, with Flamel sleeping in his arms.
"Aww, do we have to?" His sister whined.
"Flamel is bushed and needs to sleep. Don't worry; we'll come back in the afternoon to finalize the lesson." 3 told her.
Mermando smiled at her, "You make a good mother, worrying for your adopted child. How I envy the Saldine." Mermando said sadly, absently rubbing his shell necklace. Mabel smiled and patted his shoulder, "Don't worry, we'll see you again tomorrow. You won't be alone for long."
"Thank you."
The next day they went back to the pool where Mabel went to hang out with Mermando while 3, Dipper, Wendy, and Flamel tried to sneak into the Jacuzzi only to be blocked by the assistant lifeguard.
"Halt, what you doing with these two civilian's Life Guard?" The guy said suspiciously, glaring at 3 and Dipper.
"Huh, oh, yeah, they're visiting their uncle/boss in pool jail." Wendy lied, pointing at Stan who was inside for rough housing with 2.
"Well they are not allowed to be here! Poolcheck is furious; some delinquents broke into an unauthorized area and stole some pool supplies! I'm here standing guard to make sure no one enters this area, which includes you missy!" He snapped as Wendy backed away.
"Alright, alright. Chill out, dude." They walked away and once they were out of sight, Wendy turned to her companions. "Now what? We can't get in with Pool Patrol over there?" She asked, thumbing over to the guard dog. Dipper glanced around and saw Blubs and Durland nearby some life preservers and grinned, "I think I have an idea."
While Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland are putting some sun screen on, 3 and Wendy snuck on top of the Life Guard chair ready for Dipper to give them the signal. He rolled some tubes over to the Assistant Lifeguard and gave them the signal and the girls tossed the ring first over Blubs, then Durland.
"Wha-what the?" The Sheriff yelped as Durland stammered, "I'm scared!"
"Me too!"
"Yes!" The girls high fived as they scrambled off the chair and ran over to hide out with Dipper. "Great job guys. As 3 would say one hundred points!"
"Shut up, man." 3 laughed, lightly punching his arm as Poolcheck came over to investigate the two cop's distress. Poolcheck growled and yelled. "Assistant Life Guard! Here! Now!" The AL rushed over to be chewed out by Poolcheck as the three snuck past.
"What do you think you're doing!? Using the guests as targets!? You gave me you word that you would respect the rules! And what did you do!?"
"Actually sir, I didn't-"
"That's right! You didn't!"
"But I was watching the Jacuzzi and I-"
"Silence! That's not important right now! You're on the nights, boy! You wanna keep this job? Well, some maniac broke in to the supplies closet last night and destroyed our one and only pool skimmer and stole a cooler! I want you at the sake out. If one more supply gets taken, you're fired! Now drop and give me fifty!"
Wendy quickly unlocked the door and they snuck into the room where they released Flamel. He glanced around and squealed in delight when he noticed the water and jumped in to swim.
"Wow. Just…wow." 3 sighed.
"Yeah, Mr. Poolcheck doesn't seem to be…emotionally stable." Dipper told the redhead.
"You mean mentally." 3 deadpanned.
"Yeah, I hope Poolcheck doesn't find out about all the free snacks I took." Wendy said nervously.
"How many did you take anyway?" Wendy just pointed to a sack over flowing with foil bags.
"Ooh…" Dipper shrugged as he and 3 got into the Jacuzzi to continue the lessons until Mabel burst in.
"Mabel? What are you doing here?" Dipper asked.
"Shouldn't you be with Mermando?"
"Well here's the thing. Mermando is feeling kind of homesick and I promised him that we'd help him get back to the ocean." She told them.
"Uhh, I don't know if you know this, but we're in the middle of the state of Oregon. And we can't exactly take a Speedy Beaver to the coast with a merman." 3 pointed out, not minding that Mabel recruited them without asking as last night Dipper and 3 were trying to figure out how to tactfully approach the subject of getting Mermando back home.
"Actually, if we can get him to the lake, he can swim downstream and it could lead him to the ocean." Dipper told them. "But the real question is how we'd get him to the lake."
"I'm way ahead of you, Bro-bro." Mabel grinned, pulling out a drawing of Mermando with fish stick legs. "We can tape together a bunch of fish sticks to make Mermando a prosthetic pair of people legs."
"Mabel, legs don't work that way." 3 said facepalming. "Besides, how's he going to breathe without water?"
"Wouldn't it be easier just to stick him into a cooler like we did Flamel?" Dipper asked, pointing to the cooler. Mabel blushed and said, "W-well, if you want to do that the boring way!"
"Right, let's stay here until nightfall and then we can transport Mermando to the lake."
They remained in the Jacuzzi room until closing, where Wendy had to leave before closing. "It's getting late guys, I have to be home before curfew or else my dad will tear the whole town apart looking for me, again."
"Okay, see you Wendy. Hey can you drop Flamel off at the Shack, we don't want to add fuel to the fire if Poolcheck catches us." Dipper asked, handing Flamel to Wendy.
"Sure dude. And Mabel, good luck with your crush." She left with Flamel and soon night fell.
"Okay guys, let's do it, 3 you go get an extra cooler."
"Got it."
"Mabel, you get Mermando and explain the plan."
"I'm on it."
"I'll go around back and get the Pool Mobile. Everyone got it?" The girls nodded. "Alright, let's go!" Dipper ran around back as 3 followed Mabel to the pool supplies.
"Mabel!" Mermando said happily swimming up to the girls. 3 nodded to him and started picking the lock.
"Are you ready to see your family?"
"Yes, but how can I, a merman, possibly escape?"
"Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch of fish sticks to make you a prosthetic pair of people legs."
"Intriguing." Mermando murmured, interested.
"But then I realized that I could just transport you a cooler." She continued.
"Actually, Dipper pointed that out." 3 called over her shoulder as the door opened. The girls grabbed the cooler just as Dipper backed the pool mobile up. They quickly filled the cooler with water and bodily dragged the flopping merman into the cooler when a voice rang out.
"Hey! Who's there!?"
"Quick! Hide me! My kind must not be seen!" Mermando pleaded as 3 shoved him down as Mabel slammed the cooler closed as the Assistant Lifeguard approached them.
"You two!? You're the brats who've been stealing pool supplies and wrecking the place!" The man accused, advancing towards them.
"Uh, well we. We." Dipper stammered.
"We were just leaving and-" 3 was cut off when the AL grabbed her arm.
"Hey! Let her go!" Dipper yelled.
"Oh no. You brats are going nowhere. You three got me in trouble with Poolcheck, you kids are going to stay in pool jail until Mr. Poolcheck come and…?" He was cut off when Mermando cleared his throat.
"Did that cooler just clear its throat?" The man asked, distracted. This was all 3 needed. She kicked him in the shin, forcing him to release her.
"Argh! You stupid, little-AHHHH!" He screamed in pain when 3 pulled out her taser and tased him, knocking him out cold. She sighed in relief and noticed the twins and merman's nonplussed expressions.
"What?"
"You brought a taser to the pool?" Dipper asked like she was crazy.
"Why no…oh yeah…" 3 blushed in embarrassment.
"Pardon me, but can I go home now?" Mermando asked, a little impatient to be off. "Hold on everyone." Dipper called as he stepped on it, causing the vehicle to lurch to life and crash through the chain link fence and into town and then to the road that led to the lake. However they hit a snag when a particularly rough patch of road dislodged the plug to the cooler, draining it of Mermando's water.
"I cannot breathe! You must hurry!" He gasped, already turning blue from lack of air.
"Hurry Dipper!" His sister pleaded as she frantically tried to keep the water in by covering the nuzzle with her hands.
Dipper heeded his sister and took a sharp turn to go off-roading through the forest and running over fallen logs and bushes to make a short cut to the lake. They were but a few meters away, when a tire got caught in a root and sent the four 12-year olds sprawling near the deck.
"I'm okay." Mabel groaned, rubbing her head and gasped when she saw Mermando choking, unable to breathe. "Mermando! Are you alright!"
"I think I am dying. Water! Agua! Yo necesito!" He gasped as a random fly landed on a glassy eye.
"Oh, no! Mermando! Dipper, give him CPR!" She cried, turning to her brother.
"What!?" Dipper and 3 chorused in shock.
"You spent time with Wendy, who is a lifeguard which makes you the most qualified!"
"But mermen don't breathe air!"
"Then give him reverse CPR! Doy!" She snapped, pointing at the dying half-human. Dipper ran back to the mobile, grabbed a water bottle and rushed over while swallowing a mouthful of water and giving the manfish mouth-to-mouth, much to 3's fury. "I hate this! I hate this!" He chanted when 3 snapped, shoved him away and kicked Mermando into the lake in fury.
"3!?" the twins yelped as Mermando broke through the water with a gasp.
"Thank you for saving me, but why didn't you just roll me into the lake like your friend?" Mermando asked the only other boy in the group, who facepalmed. Mermando cleared his throat tom make a dolphin-like noise then coughed painfully. "I am weak from coughing. How will I get my family to hear my call from the mighty depths of the ocean?"
Mabel looked pact to the car and grinned, "I got it!" She raced back to the car and ran back to present the merman a megaphone, "Problem solved!" She said proudly.
Mermando smiled with eyes filled with gratitude towards the land dwellers, "Mabel, I have never met anyone like you."
"Same here." Mabel smiled then said, "Except for a zombie, a gnome, and a couple of cute vampires." She said, listing off the creatures, much to Dipper and 3's confusion.
"I don't remember the vampires."
"Wait, you didn't!? Mabel I told you not to-"
Mabel ignored the book to say, "I don't tell you everything." She turned to Mermando sadly and said, "Well, Mermando, I guess this is it."
Mermando smiled mischievously and said, "Not quite. This is!" He leaps up and kisses Mabel on the lips. She froze then leaned in to the kiss.
"Whoa! Okay, that's gross. Ugh."
"My eyes!"
Mabel grinned and started to dance in excitement before she turned to Dipper, "That was my first kiss!" She squealed before cheekily looking at her twin. "Hey, it was also kind of your first kiss too, huh? Huh?"
"Of course not! CPR does NOT count as kissing!" 3 jumped in angrily.
Dipper groaned and said, "Please don't involve me in this. Besides, if we do count this, which I won't, it would be my third kiss."
The girls paused and yelped, "What!?"
"When!? How?!" 3 demanded, frantically checking her memory.
"Back when Mabel locked us in the closet, remember?"
Mabel turned towards 3 and smacked her shoulder, "You never told me you kissed!" She said accusingly.
"We didn't kiss. There was something else in the closet with us and kissed the both of us." 3 said defensively. Then turned to Dipper, "When was the second?"
He blushed and avoided eye contact. "Yesterday, when you almost drowned. I gave you CPR."
3 paused for a moment and said. "On second thought. I just conveniently remembered, CPR does count." She admitted blushing as Mabel squealed.
Soon they had to say good-bye to the merman. "Goodbye, Mermando."
"Be safe."
"And good luck." Dipper told the merman.
Mermando smiled sadly and waved, "Goodbye, Mabel. You too, Dipper and 3." He then turned away, making his way towards the waterfall to reunite with his family. They remained there until the sun rose and started making their way back to the Shack, cutting through the forest.
"Man what a night." 3 groaned, stretching.
"You're telling me. Something tells me that we won't be welcomed at the pool for the rest of the summer." Dipper told the girls.
"Why do you say that?" Mabel asked.
"Well, we stole 2 coolers, damaged pool property, snuck a 'dog' in, hijacked the pool mobile, snuck into the Jacuzzi and tased a guard."
"Well at least the heat wave cleared up and taught Flamel how to swim. Now we don't have a reason to go ba-Aaack!" 3 suddenly tripped and fell on top of Dipper, who was in front of her and pulled him down with her.
"Huh ho. Wait till I'm gone you love birds." Mabel said teasingly.
"Okay, ow. What happened?" Dipper asked.
"I stepped on something round and I slipped." 3 said getting back up and found the object she stepped on.
"What is that?" Dipper asked. 3 was holding a long thin tube with two faded gold lids on either side that was covered in dirt, grime, and cracks. She cleaned away some of the dirt to see worn out handwriting saying "My regrets."
"My regrets? What does that mean? And what is it doing out here?" 3 asked.
"No idea. Maybe it pertains to more of Gravity Fall's secrets?" Dipper suggested, his mind working on overdrive.
"Well we won't figure it out standing here." 3 said, placing the tube in her pocket.
"Hmm, well in any case. This is a mystery for another day." Dipper said as they returned to the Shack, missing the faded red eye that was crossed out with a x on a nearby rock.