Chapter 4:
-Two Years Later-
"I'm gonna break your little heart, watch you take the fall, laughing all the way to the hospital. 'Cause there's nothing that surgery can do when I break your little heart in two."
-Break Your Little Heart, All Time Low
I couldn't believe it. He was breaking up with me by owl again. That little bitch didn't even have the decency to do it to my face.
Jessie Daugherty, the lead vocalist of our band, and I had been dating since Fifth Year, a few weeks after I had joined The Little Brothers, the most famous teen wizard band in the world (according to a recent study conducted by the Daily Prophet). Of course, we had been on and off all that time with plenty of flings to keep us occupied in-between. But this wasn't one of those "Oh I'm going to break up with you because we had a fight but it's okay we'll be back together in a few weeks" kind of things. He was really breaking this off.
He claimed that, since he had graduated and was focusing more on our band and looking at working more in management, he didn't have the time or energy to "deal with a relationship that was never going to go anywhere anyway."
What a douche. Granted, I never expected us to get married or anything, but I still loved him anyway. And he could have done better than a letter.
You can bet your ass I'll be having a word with him at our next band practice. But I'll go to bed for now because it is late and September 1 is tomorrow, so I'll need to be rested to deal with all my schoolmates.
***PAGE BREAK***
The next morning, I woke up early, as usual. Heading downstairs, I heard the familiar clash of pots and pans that indicated that my mother was making breakfast.
"Hello, Mum," I said, sitting down in a kitchen chair as my mother placed my usual breakfast in front of me.
"Good morning, love. Have a nice night?" She asked. I sighed, knowing what was coming as soon as my next words would leave my mouth.
"Jessie broke up with me." My mother's face tightened a bit, and she sat down so we were face-to-face.
"Oh, Adelia… He seems to do that a lot, doesn't he?" She asked, though I knew it wasn't really a question. She knew all the details of our relationship, so she was familiar with this routine.
"He says it's for real this time. He'll be focusing on the band more and doesn't want something that was never going anywhere to be a distraction." I replied, avoiding eye contact. My mother sighed, and I prepared myself for whatever it was she had finally decided to say. That was a sigh you can only have when you've been holding onto something for years.
"You know," she said, "when I suggested that you try making more friends, this wasn't exactly my intention."
I finally met her eyes, and saw her gentle expression, but I still took offense to that. She was obviously referring to Fifth Year, when I joined the band and started branching out more.
"What was your intention, then?" I asked, venom clear in my voice. Her expression tightened again, and as she paused I knew she was thinking carefully about whether she should say what she was going to say next.
"My intention was for you to be more comfortable with yourself, not become someone else entirely." She finally ground out, knowing I would be even more upset by this. Which, of course, I was.
"What do you mean, 'someone else entirely?'" I asked, "I am finally totally comfortable with who I am! I'm popular in school, I play music for millions of people to enjoy, I work with my best friends, and I even have my own fashion line coming out in a few weeks!"
"But that's exactly it!" My mother exclaimed, "Everything you just said is about other people liking you and your choices. What about yourself that you're comfortable with is entirely your own and all about you being happy with who you are?"
I stayed silent, knowing that she was making a fairly valid point but not wanting to admit it. I couldn't think of anything that I had done that hadn't been influenced by other people.
"Have you always wanted to be popular in school?" Mum asked after a pause.
"… No."
"That's right. Weren't you always the one that liked to be quiet and thoughtful rather than the rather loud person you are now?"
"Yes." I said, deciding one word answers were the easiest way to get me out of this situation.
"And how did you decide to join The Little Brothers? Were you the one that approached them because you wanted to share your talent with millions of people?"
"No."
"Were you begged and pleaded until it got to the point where you finally gave in just to make the boys happy?"
"Yes."
"And when did you start dressing like that? After your band's designer decided you needed an edgier look than what you normally preferred?" I looked down at my combat boots, black skinny jeans, and black The Little Brothers muscle tank top (hey, there's nothing wrong with a little self-promotion).
"…Yes."
"And your friends? You mean the ones that had to drag you into the mess of fame? And the ones who let you date one of their own on and off even though it's clearly not a healthy relationship? The ones who took you from Elizabella?" My face hardened at that one.
"Don't you bring that up," I said, "My friends are the best things in my life, and I love them very much. Besides, Lizi and I are just fine, thank you."
"Yes, but you're not best friends like you were since you were little, are you?" She asked. I didn't answer, instead finishing my breakfast and putting the dishes in the sink. I looked back at Mum, whose face was tired, and then glanced up at the clock.
"It's time to go," I said, "I'll go get Dad and grab my trunk to bring to the car."
She nodded and I went upstairs.
***PAGE BREAK***
Kings' Cross was crowded, as usual. I gave my parents big hugs and promised to write before leaving to find an empty compartment on the train. Before I could even reach the train, however, a figure stood in my way, effectively making me drop my trunk. Thankfully, nothing spilled out this time.
"Rude," I muttered, looking up into my attacker's face to find none other than Jessie Daugherty standing in front of me.
"Oh," I said, "Did your NEWTS come back and Dumbledore said such dismal marks meant you needed to retake Seventh Year?" I asked, not bothering to hide my poor feelings towards him.
"Actually, I came here to see you," he said, his infamous (and admittedly dreamy) smirk making its way onto his face.
"And to what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I wanted to talk about the letter I sent you yesterday." At my raised eyebrow, he quickly continued, "I don't want to leave it at that. I don't want the way our relationship ended to affect the band."
"Oh, so that's what this is about. The band." I laughed, "I should have guessed. Do my feelings mean nothing to you?"
"No, it's not that," he started, "I love you, you know that. And I may never stop. But I don't want this to end on bad terms, because I know how much we both love the band and I want to make sure we can still work together even though we're not dating anymore."
"So it is all about the band."
"Well… yes." He replied, "But it's also about you. I love you, Adelia. Maybe we can work this out later, but I don't want to keep going only for it to end worse than it is now."
My eyebrows were raised so high, I'd probably need cosmetic surgery to get them in the right place again.
"Are you doing this to string me along again?" I asked incredulously. Seeing him about to open his mouth, I interrupted before he could further incriminate himself, "No, don't. You've been doing this for two years, Jessie, and I'm sick of it. I've always just been your backup plan when you didn't have another set of legs to admire. If you're going to break up with me, do it properly. Otherwise, you can go fuck yourself."
With that, I left him so I could finally board the train, barely noticing the large crowd gathered around the two celebrities and grateful I had arrived early enough to still be able to find an empty compartment. Immediately upon entering, I collapsed on one of the benches and took a nap.
I woke to a knock on the door. Checking my watch, I realized it had only been half an hour since I had fallen asleep. I rolled over, hoping the incessant knocking would leave soon enough.
It did. However, instead of knocking, Elizabella Bates poked her head in to ask if she could join me, along with whoever it was that stood behind her. I waved my hand, too lazy to vocalize my approval, and kept my eyes shut. I heard them gather in my compartment and put their trunks away, then there was a moment when my feet were lifted up and then placed in someone's lap. Finally curious, I opened one eye to see a familiar view. The Weasley twins and Lee Jordan had accompanied Elizabella, and they were seated the same way they had been on our ride in Fifth Year; Elizabella across from me by the window, Lee next to her, and Fred next to him, with George across from his brother with my feet on his lap.
Two out of the four of them looked wary, while one looked absolutely hostile. I turned away from them to smile at Elizabella, who gave a weak one back.
"How were your summers?" I asked, trying to break the tension as I sat up properly. There was a murmur of the general "good"s and I nodded as we slipped back into awkward silence.
"And how was yours, Addie? Anything exciting?" Elizabella asked.
"It was nice, thanks. We played our biggest show ever in July, so that was fun. And, oh! You'll never believe it – my own fashion line is coming out this fall. I was working on it all through the summer; I'll have to show you everything, it's being shipped to Hogwarts in a few days to make sure everything is how I wanted."
"Wow!" Elizabella said, "And to think I was the one who had to teach you what colors go together back in the day." We both laughed. I had been a nightmare.
"What colors? All she ever wears is black." I looked around, taken aback at the hostility in the voice. Fred Weasley stared right back, and I didn't know what to say.
"Fred!" Elizabella admonished, her cheeks turning rosy and her eyes widening.
"What?" He asked, though it was obvious he knew exactly "what."
"Don't be rude!" Elizabella said.
"I wasn't being rude! All she's worn is black since she joined that band, I was simply wondering." Elizabella, clearly giving up, turned back to me to continue to make conversation.
"So," she started, as the tension grew even thicker with the three other boys continuing to stay silent, "How is the band? I hope you were able to breathe with all those boys with you every day throughout the summer."
"They're not bad," I replied, "We get along for the most part, because we're already super close with each other, even though the constant proximity to one another is enough to drive anyone mad."
"Even you and Daugherty?" There was Fred again. What an ass.
"Yes, even me and Jessie." I replied evenly, not even bothering to turn my head towards the boys.
"I heard you broke up again," he continued, "Though I'm sure you're not surprised; the entire platform heard you."
That was it. I stood up, flipped him the bird, and walked out the compartment toward the loo, hoping to catch a minute alone in there.
It was quite literally a minute, and there was a knock before Elizabella entered the room.
"Addie? Are you alright?" She asked. I didn't answer. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I stared into the mirror, thinking back on all that my mother had said that morning, and then going through the conversations I had had since then.
"Lizi, what have I done?" I asked her.
"I'm not sure I know how to properly answer that."
"I mean," I said, trying to find the right words, "I'm not at all the same person I was before the band. I let them change me, and I'm not sure it's for the better."
"Is this because of what Fred said?" She asked, "Because he's just still upset-"
"No, no, no," I interrupted, "I've been thinking about it for a bit already. Of course, he brought up a valid point," I gestured toward the mirror, where my dark makeup and calculatedly messy hair was prominent, "I've only done this because my stylist suggested it would be best for our target demographic. And my clothes, too, along with plenty of other little things you probably haven't even noticed but still weren't me."
"Are you still bothered by that?"
"No," I said, "Well… Yes. But no. I like the way I look now, I've grown to enjoy it and it gives me an added confidence I never would have had without it."
"Well, you do always look badass," Elizabella stuck in, giving me a small smile.
"Thank you. But what bothers me is the fact that I've only ever done anything for other people, not because I wanted to try it. Even joining the band was just so the boys would be happy."
"So why don't you just be yourself now? From the sounds of it, you've already started with that fight with Jessie." I glanced at her, eyebrow raised, and she blushed. "Well, everybody heard it."
"Yeah, I suppose. I just wish I could take some things back, you know? Obviously, I love the band, but sometimes I look back and wish I could have done some things differently."
"I understand," Elizabella said.
"I especially miss you, Lizi," I said, finally turning to her, "I know we still talk and never actually stopped being best friends, but we're not the same and it's all my fault." She gave a watery grin before flinging herself at me and giving me a bear hug.
"Oh, Addie," she said, "I've missed you, too! But don't you take all the blame, it was just as much my fault as it was yours."
"I'm not sure I can totally agree with that," I answered, still clinging onto my best friend, "but I hope we can go back to how we were before. I've missed my best friend."
After a while, we finally broke apart and, seeing that we were both in quite a state, we laughed and fixed each other's hair and makeup before exiting the toilets.
We were on our way back down the train when we passed a compartment holding four rowdy boys, and they gestured me inside when they noticed I was there. I invited Elizabella to join me, but she declined, saying she really needed to get back to the Weasleys and Lee.
"But I'll see you at the Feast, and we can catch up some more before bed." She promised, before leaving me to join my band, who immediately started jabbering over each other, each one with a different objective.
"Whoa, hold on, guys," I said, holding out my hands in a defensive gesture, "One at a time, and for Merlin's sake let me sit down first."
They let me take the seat between Nick and Tristan, Billy and Jake sitting across from us.
"Alright, what the bloody hell do you all have to say to me? We literally saw each other two days ago for practice."
"Two days too long," Tristan said, pulling me in for a hug by the neck and ruffling my hair. I laughed and pushed him off, before turning to my right, towards Nick, our lead guitarist.
"Alright, we're going counterclockwise this time. What did you want?" I said, even though I had a pretty good feeling I knew what it was.
"Were you just with Elizabella Bates?" He asked, and the compartment groaned collectively.
"Yes," I answered wearily, "And no, she did not mention you. And no, I will not mention you to her. You're going to have to grow some balls of your own and talk to her yourself." He looked slightly dejected, but it went away after a second. It was well known by everyone around the school that he had a thing for Lizi. She probably even had her own suspicions. I then turned to Billy, our bassist, gesturing for him to go.
"Did you do the summer assignment for Snape?" He asked, and again, we groaned.
"I swear, you're more of a Ravenclaw than us actual Ravenclaws," I said, gesturing to myself, Jake, and Nick, "But of course I did, and yes, you may look over mine to check your own." His grin was triumphant, so I went on to Jake, our drummer.
"Have you seen the food trolley?" He asked, patting his toned stomach. I rolled my eyes and didn't even answer before turning to Tristan, our keyboardist and backup vocalist. His face turned serious after the bit of laughter we had shared, and I immediately sobered up.
"Did you and Jessie really fight on the platform? Some Fifth Years were talking about it when we were looking for a compartment." I sighed and felt all the boys staring at me intently.
"Yes, we did. I didn't mean for it to be so loud, but it was. He dumped me by owl last night, and then had the nerve to come here today to try to fix things. Really, he was trying to make sure I would still be here when he decided he didn't want to be single anymore." I said, relating the argument simply.
"I'm sorry, Ads." Jake said.
"Yeah, he's been a real ass to you lately. Good for you, finally standing up to him." Billy added.
"Thanks, guys," I said, "And I promise it won't affect the band. I've never let it do so before; I'm not willing to let it happen now."
"Is that why you were crying earlier, though, when you were walking by the first time?" Tristan asked timidly.
"Yeah, kind of," I said, not wanting to bring up Fred Weasley, since the boys already had a target in mind. And at their murderous expressions, I added, "But I'm fine now, Lizibell talked me through it and I feel loads better. It's no big deal."
"Well, it is a big deal. We never want you to cry, Dee," Nick said, using yet another nickname for me, and Tristan pulled me into a hug.
"GROUP HUG!" Jake declared, and we stood up and got into "formation," basically meaning I got in the middle and they squeezed me until I couldn't breathe. We had perfected this ritual back when Billy had been dumped by his first girlfriend summer before Sixth Year, when we all went in to hug him at the same time; it had become a tradition to surround whoever was sad until they weren't sad anymore.
When the boys finally let go after a good five minutes, I looked around at all of them and grinned, blissfully happy to be lucky enough to have these people that I loved with all my heart.
A/N: Hey. So, as some of you may know after reading the very last chapter of my other story, And So It Begins, I'm kind of back. I fit in a super condensed ending to that story, but this one wasn't nearly as developed so I decided to actually finish it, though it will likely be shorter than I had planned. I probably won't be writing anything else besides that, but thanks for reading, and I hope to have the next chapter up soon!