Not Alone

Harry blinked and then frowned deeply as he realized he was in an unfamiliar room with the professor. His hands clenched in his lap and he stared down at them feeling frightened, angry, and confused. Severus watched him for a minute and felt vaguely sympathetic. He shook himself. No. He was merely curious. Yes, this was only a rare psychological condition, and to be able to study it was fascinating. Nodding internally, Severus cleared his throat.

"Mr. Potter, I believe you have questions."

Harry looked up, hope in his green eyes along with fear. "Yes, sir. Ummm… where are we?"

"We are at my private home." Severus answered easily, allowing Harry to stall. It would be better for the boy to be as relaxed as possible anyway. "No one knows of its existence except for a select few. Not even Dumbledore knows of this place. Most believe I reside at Snape Manor instead of here."

"The headmaster doesn't know I'm here?" Harry asked wide-eyed.

"No, he doesn't." Severus smirked as the boy grew nervous. "I'm not going to eat you, Potter. Don't fret. You are safe here."

"Safe from who, Professor?" Harry swallowed hard.

"Death Eaters, of course. And, if what I've been told is true, then you are also safe from Voldemort himself within these walls." Severus watched the boy pale slightly at these words. Hmmm… he wondered just how much the others had kept from Harry. "Enough with the small talk. There is a reason why you are here. You've been suffering from memory lapses, is that not correct, Mr. Potter?"

"Yes." Harry whispered.

"I will be helping you with these. That is why the headmaster does not know your location. I believed you would want to keep this as private as possible."

"Thank you, sir." Harry said uncertainly. He was amazed that the professor was treating him as well as he was. "But… ummm... why are you helping me?"

"It is because I have the ability and the means." Severus waved that away. "You will not find help for this particular condition anywhere else in the wizarding world. I'm sure you could find help in the muggle one, but, again, you have safety issues to consider."

"Condition, sir?" Harry leaned forward, hands clutching his knees. "What's wrong with me?"

"Mr. Potter…" Severus considered the boy before him. "I believe that is inappropriate now, isn't it? If I am to help you, we need to be able to trust each other. Therefore I suggest we call each other by name. Are we agreed, Harry?"

"Oh… ummm… You mean, call you Snape?" Harry bit his lip.

Severus smirked, "I was thinking Severus actually."

"Oh, okay." Harry looked shyly at his lap before raising his eyes again. "So… ummm… about my condition?"

"Yes." Severus leaned back and began to speak surely, but softly. "Harry, you have a rare condition where your mind has divided to protect itself. It's called Multiple Personality Disorder. That means your personality has… hmmm… fractured. Meaning, certain qualities, wants, and needs have broken away to become independent from your main consciousness."

"I don't understand." Harry shook his head, his green eyes were dazed.

"There are parts of you that you are not aware of. These parts have taken names and identities. Sometimes they take over and you are forced back. In other words, during your black outs one of your other personalities is acting and aware. That is why you have done things you don't remember."

"You're lying." Harry said hoarsely as he jumped to his feet.

"I'm not." Severus stood and came around his desk so that he was standing before the boy. He hesitated, but brought his hands up to rest on the boy's ridged shoulders. "This doesn't mean you are crazy or incompetent or any other such thing, Harry. It is okay. It will be okay."

"How?" He stared up at the professor with vulnerable, wet green eyes.

Severus winced at the weight of the need in that gaze, "I will help you, Harry. It won't be easy, but I know you can do it." He looked at the clock. "It is almost dinner time. Why don't we eat and then go to the parlor to discuss this some more."

Harry nodded numbly. He felt shaky and sick. And he still wasn't sure what was wrong with him or how he got that way. There was a strange headache building behind his eyes. He felt pinned against his own skull. He hardly noticed what he ate and didn't listen to the professor, if he had spoken at all during the meal. But he became more aware as he followed his teacher toward a sitting room.

"Have a seat, Harry." Severus invited as he gestured to one of the couches.

The professor walked over to the fireplace and took a round bottle off the mantle. With a gesture, he had a clear glass in his hand and began to fill it. His dark eyes watched the sweating and trembling child perched on the very edge of his seat. He sighed and with another gesture had a glass identical to his own in his other hand, but it was already filled with a thick, light-blue liquid. He walked over and handed it to the distraught child.

"Drink."

Harry eyed the professor, but obeyed. Immediately he felt himself relaxing and growing calm. His thoughts cleared and he felt ready to listen and eager to understand. He looked up with a small grateful smile. Severus nodded and sat in a thickly padded seat across from Harry.

"I have a book that explains your condition." He offered. "Would you like to read it and ask me questions later, or do you think you would rather I try and help you understand?"

"Ummm… Can I have both?" Harry asked as he ducked his head nervously. He had learned that it was pointless to ask for things from the Dursleys, but felt he might as well give it a shot here.

"You may." Severus nodded. He sat thoughtfully for a moment. "I think I have just the thing."

He rose and walked quickly from the room. Harry fidgeted, but he didn't have long to wait. Severus came back into the room, a triumphant glitter in his eyes. In his hands was a carved box. He took his seat and opened it. Harry leaned forward to see what was in it, but Snape shut it before he could peak around the lid. Harry stared at the fist sized multifaceted crystal in the man's hand and lost interest completely in the box that Snape had set on the floor by his chair.

"This is a quartz crystal." Severus explained to the attentive boy and smirked. If only he had such a focused audience when he taught potions. "It is solid and complete. Are we agreed?" Harry nodded his head. "Good. Now what if I did this?" Colors began to swirl around within it, mixing and harmonizing.

"Wow." Harry whispered.

"Yes. It is beautiful. Imagine that when the crystal is clear and empty, it represents the mind of a dead person. The colors and activity within it now make that mind alive and intelligent."

"Okay." Harry nodded to show he understood.

"Now. Something happens that causes mental and emotional damage. Say… a near death accident or something else highly traumatic." The gentle and beautiful swirls became chaotic and choppy. The crystal began to tremble. "This is insanity." Harry's eyes were huge and stricken. Severus spoke reassuringly, "This is not your mind, Harry." His face became very grim. "But it could have been."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked breathlessly.

Severus nodded to the crystal to draw the boy's attention back to it; "Something happened that was traumatic enough to turn your mind to this, but to protect yourself from insanity, it instead did this."

Harry watched as the colors and activity went back to 'normal'. He watched as they went berserk again, but instead of settling into the choppy chaotic pattern, the colors peeled away from each other instead. Now the six colors were swirling peacefully, but were no longer mixed. Sometimes they would rotate around so that a different patch of color faced him. Harry began to understand. Severus nodded, seeing this.

"Yes. Each of the colors, once a part of a whole, are now separate. But the crystal is still one object. It is important for you to understand this, Harry. Though you have separated yourself into multiple pieces, they are all still you. They are not separate people."

"Okay." Harry nodded shakily. "I understand."

"Good. Because it is possible to make all the colors one again." He held up the crystals and the colors, one by one joined each other until they were swirling peacefully back to 'normal'. "The colors are not destroyed when they combine again. They are still ribbons entwined together perfectly to form a cohesive whole. By healing, you will not be killing the other pieces. Do you understand?"

"I think so." Harry leaned back and took his glasses off to rub tiredly at his eyes.

"It is a lot to take in at once." Severus acknowledged. He bent and put the now clear crystal back into the box. "Do you wish to continue this tomorrow?"

"I don't remember coming down here. I assume we are on the first floor of your house?" Harry ignored the professor's question.

"We are."

"Does that mean you have met my other personalities?" He sighed. "How many are there?"

"I am not certain, but there are at least five others, not counting you."

"Five? Maybe more?" Harry covered his face with his hands. After a minute, he spoke through them. "What did this? I don't remember anything really bad happening to me. Not anything bad enough to do this."

"You wouldn't. The other personalities are there to protect you and help you cope with problems and difficult situations. So any difficult memories will be held with them." Severus explained.

Harry pulled his shaking hands from his face and sighed. "Thank you for helping me, Professor… I mean, Severus. I really appreciate it. Ummm… I'm kind of tired. Do you think we can talk more about this later?"

"Of course, Harry." Severus stood. "I will walk you back to your room."

They walked in silence. When they reached the bedroom, Harry turned to thank the professor one more time, but Severus spoke first. He had a book in his hand and he offered it to the boy. "There is a passage in here that explains Multiple Personality Disorder. If you have any questions or if you'd just like to talk, ask Omi where I am and he will guide you to me or fetch me. Take your time. If you need a day or two on your own, feel free. Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight." Harry answered weakly. He was definitely overwhelmed. He stood there stupidly, just watching his professor walk away. Eventually, he shook himself and walked into the room. There was a nightstand by the bed that hadn't been there before. That made him a bit uncomfortable, but he put the book on it anyway and changed into pajamas. He was asleep as soon as his head was on the pillow.

xXxXxXx

Silas wanted to read the book badly, but the professor had been firm about none of them coming Out for a while, and he was sure the man wouldn't be pleased if he did so now. Gabriel smirked over at him, but Silas ignored him. He knew the Gryffindor was having a rough time of it and was just trying to pick a fight. Harry's tension and stress was wearing on all of them.

xXxXxXx

Harry woke slowly. For almost an hour, he just laid in bed watching the play of sunlight on the ceiling. But he knew he was just procrastinating. He really did want to understand what was happening inside so, with a sigh, he rolled out of bed, got dressed, and called Omi for breakfast. The elf delivered and after he ate, Harry got back in bed and opened the book to the section that explained his condition.

Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)

When faced with overwhelmingly traumatic situations from which there is no physical escape, a child may resort to "going away" in his or her head. Children typically use this ability as an extremely effective defense against acute physical and emotional pain and/or against the anxious anticipation of that pain. Through this dissociative process, thoughts, feelings, memories, and perceptions of the traumatic experiences are separated off psychologically, allowing the child to function as if the trauma had not occurred.

Dissociative Disorders are often referred to as a highly creative survival technique because they allow individuals enduring "hopeless" circumstances to preserve some areas of healthy functioning. Over time, however, for a child who has been repeatedly physically and sexually assaulted, defensive dissociation becomes reinforced and conditioned. Because the dissociative escape is so effective, children who are very practiced at it may automatically use it whenever they feel threatened or anxious - - even if the anxiety-producing situation is not extreme or abusive.

Repeated dissociation may result in a series of separate entities, or mental states, which may eventually take on identities of their own. These entities may become the internal "personality states". Changing between these states of consciousness is often described as "switching".

MPD can be cured through individual psychotherapy, or "talk therapy", as well as other treatment modalities, including medications, hypnotherapy, and adjunctive therapies such as art or movement therapy. The course of treatment is long-term, intensive, and invariably painful, as it involves remembering and reclaiming the dissociated traumatic experiences.

Harry closed the book and took a deep breath. It didn't help. He still felt like he couldn't breathe. Snape had mentioned it last night, but only after reading it for himself did he truly understand the implications. His disorder was caused by severe traumatic situations. In other words, ongoing abuse. That meant… that meant the Dursleys… Harry curled up into a ball, his head pounding. The Dursleys hadn't just ignored and neglected him. They had abused him and he couldn't even remember.

xXxXxXx

Severus had expected Harry to need several days to himself to come to terms with everything, but Omi came to tell him that Harry was asking for him only two days later. Yesterday, he had devoted his time to drawing up an outline for Harry's treatment. But he was still feeling distinctly nervous.

As Head of Slytherin House, he was highly qualified to treat dissociative disorders. Slytherins were often taught at an early age to wear a 'mask' in public, and this 'mask' usually became a protection when they came face to face with the Slytherin prejudice at school. This made them highly susceptible to such disorders. But Harry had the most severe case he had ever been faced with.

He took a deep fortifying breath. He knew what Harry needed and he had experience that would help him give the child the help he needed without creating further damage or dependencies. Nodding firmly and wrapping calm confidence around himself, Severus descended to the dinning room. Harry was already seated and waiting patiently for him.

"Good morning, Harry." Severus said neutrally as he took his seat.

"Good morning, Professor."

"Severus, Harry. Call me Severus." He smiled faintly and the food appeared on the table. They ate silently. When they were finished, he stood and gestured to the door. "Do you wish to talk in the parlor or some other location?"

"Ummm… Parlor is fine." Harry answered as he approached his teacher.

Severus nodded and led the way there. They took up the same seats they had two nights ago. Harry sat stiffly, but looked calm. Severus leaned back in his chair and waited a minute before beginning. "Do you have any questions or should we talk about what we're going to do to help you?"

"No questions, sir." Harry spoke, looking into his lap.

"Harry." Severus leaned forward intently. "This is fixable, but you have to want it. You have to want to be whole again. It is okay to be frightened or angry or any other emotion. What isn't okay is not facing it."

"Yes, sir." Harry nodded and lifted his head so that he was looking his teacher in the face. "I do want to get better. I really want my memories back. This is my life and I have to know what's happened to me."

"Good." Severus nodded. "Then let's begin. I want you to understand that we are in this together. If you have an idea that you think will help you come to terms with the past and yourself, and think your idea is better than the one I suggest, speak up. I want to help you, but you know yourself better than I. On the other hand, I have watched other people go through the process that you are about to begin. So I may insist on a certain method you may disagree with. I will explain my reasoning and listen to your objections, but if I still insist you will need to trust me. Can you trust me, Harry?"

Harry nodded, but spoke when Severus raised an eyebrow. "Yes, sir."

"Very well. The first step is to map your alters or other personalities. Of course you can't do that yourself, so I will meet each one and then tell you about them. Then we will concentrate on the last born alter and try to return it to you. Basically we'll be doing a lot of talking about how you feel and how the alter feels, and try to neutralize any conflicting tension. It won't happen at once. This will take a long time; months possibly. It will be hard and uncomfortable. There is a reason why you dissociated the things the alter represents, but I will teach you better coping methods than separating yourself from the problem or your feelings."

"Okay." Harry nodded again.

Severus noticed that though the boy's eyes looked tired, they were also determined so he continued. "Before we get into any of that, I want you to know that you are safe here and will be remaining until school starts. There are rules. The first rule is not to go into a room that has a shut door. But I will tell you now that the only door that will remain shut after today is the one to my bedroom. I will leave the doors to all the other rooms in the house open. You are free to explore and use anything you find. If I am in a room and have shut the door, please knock first. If I do not answer, give me space. If it is an emergency, say so and I will be right with you. I will be cross if you need help and don't get me. Understand?"

"Yes." Harry smiled shyly.

"The door rule applies to me as well. If you need space, shut a door. I will not intrude unless it is an emergency. However there will be no locking of any doors. Shutting it is enough to get the message across. Also, I will not enter the bedroom you occupy unless you are there and I have your permission. That room is yours as long as you stay here. You may change the colors of any decorations and add furniture. Just speak to Omi."

"Sir! You don't have to do that!" Harry's eyes were wide with surprise.

"I do." Severus answered easily. "I want to. This is my house and I can do as I please with it. The room is yours, Harry, and that is final. And I'm Severus, remember?"

"Thank you, Severus." Harry whispered, looking away with a faint blush on his cheeks.

"You are welcome." He smiled and then continued on. It was best to get everything on the table. "The main goal of your time here will be your therapy, but it isn't good for you to focus solely on that. You will be here until school starts and I will expect you to do your school work and get a certain amount of physical exercise daily. When you finish your homework, I want you to pick a subject or skill that interests you and I will tutor you as best I can or bring in someone who can do it better. I have removed the locking charms on most of the library books, but not on all of them. The few books still locked, I ask you not to read or mess with."

"I won't." Harry assured.

"We're doing well so far." Severus smirked and Harry laughed. "As for physical exercise, you may not fly. The wards that protect this place do not extend past the house's external walls. But I do have an exercise room and a game room upstairs. All the games are designed to enhance reflexes and coordination. Also, you will eat every day. Omi is in charge of that. I warn you, should you skip a meal, the ones after will be larger in proportion. Leaving food on your plate is looked down upon. Is this all agreeable?"

"Yes, Severus." Harry smiled. He didn't mind anything so far. In fact, knowing he would have a break from all this psychological stuff made him feel lighter and more confident. Maybe he could get through this.

"I think that covers it. Do you wish to add any rules?"

He thought about it, "Can you take House points from me?"

"No. Unfortunately." Severus chuckled softly.

Harry grinned back, "Then I think I'm good."

"Do you want to begin mapping your alters? Or would you rather start on your school work and get exercise?"

"About that. I don't have any of my school things." Harry twisted the end of his shirt in his hands.

"That's right. Hmmm… I could fetch them under a disguise. Where is your former residence?"

"Number 4, Privet Drive, Surrey." Harry answered anxiously.

Severus noticed, "You do not have to be upset. I give you my word they will never know I was there."

"Okay." Harry nodded. "But I think I'd rather start the mapping anyway."

"Alright. Since you are not aware of the other alters and have no means of communicating with them, I will try and call forth one who has more knowledge. You must be sure you want to know all of them or your alters will give me difficulties and hide information."

"I'm sure. I trust you." Harry smiled brightly. "No one has wanted to help me like this before. I really appreciate it, Pro… Severus."

"It is no problem, Harry." Severus answered softly. "Then lean back against the couch. Close your eyes and allow yourself to relax. Drift off to sleep."

Harry did as he was told. In minutes, his breathing deepened and slowly his body relaxed. Severus waited patiently. He wasn't surprised when Harry opened his eyes and sat up calmly. It was Silas. "Good morning." Severus nodded.

"The same to you, Professor." Silas quirked his lips, but his face quickly returned to seriousness.

"I need you to be honest this time around." Severus said just as seriously as he summoned parchment and a quill. "Let's start backwards and work our way to the oldest of you."

Silas didn't respond at first. He guardedly studied the man before him. It had been his idea to go to the professor in the first place and he didn't regret that decision. Not only was the teacher giving them the help they needed to restore balance and mental health, but he was offering to teach them things they wouldn't necessarily be able to learn at Hogwarts. However, that didn't stop him from feeling reservations. The memories Kit held weren't going to be pleasant. But Harry had made his decision. So he began to talk about each alter. When he got to the one whom he had named Demon, he hesitated.

Severus gave the teen a hard look and was pleased when Silas caved. As the boy described the oldest and last alter, Severus became more and more worried. That alter was carrying some major rage and hate, not to mention access to powerful dark magic. That was a very bad combination. When Silas finally fell silent, he nodded his thanks.

"And so it begins." Silas said, smiling wryly.

"So it does." Severus agreed.

"Am I suppose to continue to try and keep the others from coming Out?"

Severus stared at the boy thoughtfully; "I don't think it would be a good idea to suppress the others until they are restless and more likely to do something extreme. It would be best if the alters, including you, only came Out when necessary though. But consider that Harry will be held responsible for the actions of all of you."

"I understand. You are trying to reinforce the idea that we are the same person." Silas answered, looking at the professor from the corner of his eye. "The alters are not to be encouraged to have independence, isn't that right?"

"Does this cause you concern?" Severus asked neutrally.

"Yes and no." Silas answered ambiguously and slipped back In.

Severus sighed and waited for Harry to blink the confusion out of his eyes.

"Did it work?" The boy asked nervously.

"It did. I met an alter who names himself Silas. It seems he and Gabriel are aware of the others and share in your experiences. The other four sleep until they surface."

"Six? I have six alters?" Harry asked, eyeing the papers in Severus' hands curiously.

"Yes."

"Is that a lot?"

Severus ran a hand through his hair and looked at the boy frankly, "There are not very many documented cases of this condition, and there are doubts to the veracity of the ones that are documented. So there isn't anything concretely known about this. But there are reports where people have claimed to have up to 16 and others where there was only one alter."

"I understand." Harry sighed. "So what did… ummm, Silas… say?"

Severus showed him the papers. Harry read them. Silas had first described what each alter looked like within the soul room. Then he described what their mentality and purpose was. Last, he described their magical attributes and abilities. Harry was impressed. "He is really smart, isn't he?"

"He is holding your intelligence and observational skills, among other things, in trust." Severus corrected gently.

Harry nodded absently, "So we are starting with Kit? Is she really a girl? How can I have girls in my head?"

Severus explained the belief that every person had qualities both masculine and feminine. It was true that even today some activities were deemed more suited to females than males. For example, raising children. Because the woman gives birth, it is assumed they are better at raising the child. So a man who is really good at it may be considered in touch with his feminine side. It doesn't mean they are less manly.

Harry understood that. "So you're saying that my mind unconsciously made alters appear female when their purpose covered activities that are considered a girl's job?"

"Essentially, yes. That is my guess." Severus nodded.

"I guess that makes sense." Harry bit his lip. "So what do we do? She likes sensations? I guess it was her that ate my chocolate dessert the other night. Why would I push that away?"

"That is what we will discover. But not today, I think. It is almost lunch time. We've spent long enough on this. Why don't you read or exercise for a while. I'm going to go get your things. I'll be back by lunch. Is that alright?" Severus asked as he stood.

"Yeah." Harry nodded and stretched.

"Let me make a copy of these so we both have them."

Severus took out his wand and tapped the paper with the notes of the alters. Then he tapped a clean sheet and a second copy was born. Harry smiled gratefully before taking one of the copies for himself. Severus waited for the boy to precede him out of the parlor. Harry turned right to go upstairs while Severus went straight to the front door. As soon as he was outside the wards, he apperated to Surrey.

Harry of course went straight to the game room. He had to call Omi to lead him. The little elf was happy to do so. When he arrived at the right room, just four doors down from his bedroom, he stood there and gaped. The room was large, but every inch of it was filled with different things. Most looked like strange machinery muggles would have.

"This, young Harry, is called Snitch Hording. It is very good for reflexes, concentration, and hand-eye coordination." Omi beamed as he gestured to the game to the right of the door.

Harry was instantly interested. "What's it do?"

The game had a square silver platform three by three, and in front of it a sheet of the same sliver rose up seven feet and curved slightly forward like a wave. The elf gestured for him to step up onto the platform and face the silver metal. Harry did so. The metal began to glow faintly and then slowly shift between every shade of every color in the rainbow. It was kind of making him dizzy. Then a gold snitch came zipping at him. Instinctively, he tried to grab it. It disappeared in a quick, small shower of gold sparks.

"You just have to tag them, young Harry. They be coming faster and more of them at one time as you go."

Omi wasn't lying. Soon there were a dozen flying at him or across his field of vision. Harry had to use both hands, sometimes tagging two at once with different fingers of the same hand. One after another, Harry hit them with his fingertips; making them flare and die the instant he touched them. Suddenly, the snitches doubled in speed and number. He had to block out everything else, his eyes wide to catch any movement. Just when he thought his arms would drop off from fatigue, a bell sounded and the snitches stopped. The metal became silver again and a score appeared. 126, 392 / 17 min 43 sec / High Score!, it read. Harry looked curiously at the elf.

"Amazing, young Harry!" Omi cried bouncing around excitedly. "I've never seen such a score. The game turns off as soon as you miss ten snitches! Amazing!"

Harry blushed, still trying to catch his breath. "Thanks. Show me the others?"

"Of course!"

There were only four more. One was a four player chess game twice the size of a normal chess board. Omi explained you could play partners or by yourself. The goal was to have the last king standing. Harry shook his head, it looked really complicated. Another game was a large screen on the wall. You stood 15 feet from it and took up the game's toy wand. Targets and enemies appeared on the screen in dozens of different environments and you had to use the wand provided to try and hex them.

The fourth game looked a lot like Snitch Hording, but instead of just one wave panel there were four on each side. Omi explained that images come from all sides and try to tag you, but you had to twist, jump, and dodge within the small space to avoid them. Omi got in to demonstrate when Harry frowned. Soon the twelve year old was hugging his thin arms around his tiny waist, laughing so hard that he was crying. The elf looked like he was a drunken ballet dancer. But none of the images tagged him.

"It tests your reflexes and reaction times." The elf beamed happily at the laughing boy.

"I can see that." Harry gasped, wiping tears from his eyes and brushing his hair from his face.

Omi waited patiently for the boy to get his breath back and to stand. "This is the last one, young Harry!" He said as he bounced over to the next game.

Harry was shocked to realize it was a pool table. He hadn't recognized it at first because it had tall rimmed sides. Omi explained that you moved the Q ball with wandless magic. It took great focus to be able to aim and judge strength. Harry nodded grinning. He knew he'd spend a lot of time in this room.

Directly across the hall was the exercise room. It was a little smaller than the game room, but had all the type of things a muggle gym would have. There were two weight machines; one working arms, the other legs. A treadmill with a bubble around it that Harry thought might be glass. A punching bag hung in a corner, and across from it was a mat 10 x 15 feet where Harry guessed you could do tumbling or hand-to-hand fighting without getting hurt.

"It's wonderful." Harry smiled at the house-elf.

Omi's ears wiggled in pleasure and he bowed low, "I am glad you be liking it, young Harry. I must go make lunch. It will be done in half an hour."

"Thank you."

The elf popped away and Harry looked at the treadmill. He was curious so he walked over, passing through the glass-like bubble around it easily. Shrugging, he got into position and began to run. He gasped and stopped. He was back in the exercise room. Eyes wide, Harry took a running step forward and was on the beach again. He could feel the sand at his feet, feel the warmth of it. He could feel the sun and hear the waves. He could taste salt in the air. But as soon as he stopped running, the illusion shattered and he was back in Snape's house. Laughing, he ran, enjoying the sea and allowing himself to forget Snape and everything else for a little while.

xXxXxXx

"Omi!" Severus called as he walked through his front door. The little elf appeared with a pop and he didn't even wait for the elf to answer him before launching into instructions. "Draw me a warm bath. Take this trunk and unshrink it. Leave it sitting outside Harry's room. Do not go in there. In fact, only go in if Harry calls you himself from now on. Don't change the room unless he asks. Including taking his laundry."

"Yes, Master." Omi bowed before disappearing to do as he said.

Severus sighed and made his way to his bedroom and the warm bath waiting. He felt dirty after going to the Dursley's. He had kept his promise to Harry. He hadn't been seen by or spoken to any of the muggles inside, but that didn't stop him from exploring. He shuddered. If you knew how to look, it was very easy to see evidence of abuse. If you knew how, you could even feel the pain that was stored within the walls. It had been thick and cloying. With a sigh, he decided not to think on it. At least not while he was soaking in the bath.

xXxXxXx

Lunch was peaceful. Harry was a bit disappointed that Severus wouldn't let him work on his condition, as he'd taken to calling it. The professor insisted that they only spend a couple hours at most on it during a single day, and they had already used that up that morning. So Harry worked on his homework, played in the game room, and explored the house. Snape disappeared, probably in the basement working on some potion or another. They met for dinner and agreed to meet at seven for breakfast and then work on his condition.

xXxXxXx

Harry sat on the couch and waited for Severus to speak. It had been hard to not ask what they were going to do while they ate, but Harry had managed to keep his silence. He was nervously excited, but he could feel determination in there somewhere as well. More than anything he wanted to be better. And though he wanted his memories back, it was more the fact that he couldn't stand the idea of something else in control of his body and actions besides his own consciousness.

"Today I'm going to begin teaching you things that you can do when you become upset instead of pushing the situation away and hiding from it."

"What about Kit?" Harry frowned.

"It would be pointless for you to try and access her memories. You don't know how to cope with them or else she wouldn't have been born in the first place. You have to learn coping methods before you can begin to reclaim all she represents." Severus said seriously, his dark eyes steady. Harry fidgeted, but nodded that he understood. "This is a journal."

Harry took the thick leather bound book. It was beautiful. The cover was subtle and soft, the pages were large and flexible. "Thank you, sir." He said softly. This was the most personal thing anyone had ever given to him.

"You are welcome. I recommend you write in it when you are confused, or even to make an account of your journey. There are others with your condition, and it may one day help them should you ever wish to share it. I've had my own for years and I write in it every night before I sleep." Harry nodded. "Now let's try a breathing exercise. It is used mostly in meditation, but it will greatly help you during a panic attack and will keep your head clear even while you are frightened."

"Okay."

For half an hour they practiced. Harry took a deep breath in, held it for a second, and then released it slowly before doing it again. It was harder than it sounded because he had to concentrate on breathing with his lungs only. Harry had never considered it before, but he used his stomach unnecessarily while breathing. Severus assured him that most people do the same.

"I think you have the hang of it now. I want you to practice ten minutes a day until it becomes second nature." He said and Harry nodded. "Now the breathing will help you keep your emotions from overwhelming you, but it won't help you come to terms with what you are dealing with. For that you are going to need a medium to express your feelings and in the process acknowledging them and accepting them. Once you do that, it is easy to solve the problem or clear a path to move past the situation."

"That sounds kinda honky." Harry admitted with a sheepish grin.

"It does." Severus allowed himself a darkly amused smile. "But I assure you it works. Your choices are drawing, painting, learning a musical instrument, singing, or the martial arts."

"I don't know how to do any of those." Harry admitted.

"Well, let's go try them and you tell me which you think you would be able to pour your emotions into most easily."

Chapter End.

A/N1: The information in the excerpt from the book Harry was reading was taken from a brochure about Dissociative Disorders from the Sidran Foundation.

A/N2: !VOTE! on what you think Harry should pick as his outlet. He will be learning physical self-defense either way, but if you pick martial arts as his medium of expression he will go much more in depth and spend a whole lot more time on it. If you pick for him to learn an instrument, make sure you say which one you'd like to see him play. !VOTE!