A/N: The results of the vote are as follows:

Singing: 6. Drawing: 17. Painting: 15. Martial arts: 11. Instrument: 40.

Now even if I combined the painting and drawing votes they would only tally to 31, so a musical instrument is the winner. Now, I asked for you to tell me which instrument as well as voting. The results are as follows:

Mandolin: 1. Sitar: 1. Drums: 2. Violin: 12. Bass: 1. Cello: 4. Piano: 12. Harp: 1. Electric guitar: 1. Guitar: 4. Flute: 1. Viola: 1.

Violin and Piano obviously tied. Therefore, I offer my own vote. Though I personally play violin, I pick piano because it will be much easier for me to describe in words within a story. Plus I have had an inspiration on how Harry will have access to his instrument at all times.

I hope that none of you are so disappointed with my choice that you stop reading. Thank you for all your votes!

Very Happy Birthday

Severus took Harry to a room he had created last evening. It was full of art supplies and canvases. He let Harry try everything out. The boy was about average with drawing, but abysmal with paint. Everything came out abstract and it frustrated the boy. So Severus led him away. Harry was still trying to wipe off all the lead, charcoal, and paint from his hands and face as they entered the exercise room.

They went over to the mats with the punching back. Severus taught him a few moves and then practiced with them. Harry picked up the defense fairly easily, but was tense and uncomfortable with hand-to-hand. That was reasonable considering what most likely happened at the Dursley's, so Severus called a halt and took the boy to the music room, which was next to Severus' bedroom.

"Close your eyes and just listen to each." Severus ordered and swished his wand.

First came the guitar. Harry listened to several styles. The twangy sounds of the Mexican style were enjoyable, the more classical style was pretty nice, and the folk was upbeat. The music stopped and he shrugged when his teacher gave him a questioning look. They moved over to the violin. Harry liked this one better. It was very beautiful and versatile.

"This one's a maybe." He said with a smile.

They moved on to the cello. It was deep and soulful, but he liked the lighter sounds of the violin better. They turned to the last instrument and Severus swished his wand. Piano music swirled through the air. Harry gasped and an expression of pure pleasure and longing settled on his face. Severus knew that this instrument had touched something in the boy and immediately sat Harry down at the piano and began teaching him scales.

Severus wasn't interested in teaching Harry how to play correctly or have him learn how to read notes. This was something that Harry was suppose to pour his emotions into so that he could work them out and come to terms with them. So Severus corrected wrist positions, finger movement, and posture, but mostly focused on teaching the boy to memorize the sounds of each key so that he would quickly learn how to play by ear.

He remembered Lily use to play piano. He had come early to a meeting once and heard music. He had followed it to find the redhead playing happily. He wondered if maybe Harry recognized the sound of the piano subconsciously. Lily had to have played for her infant. She had been very good, and he didn't doubt she would have been very pleased that her son was a natural at it. The boy's long, agile fingers were at home on the keys.

For a week, Harry and Severus practiced scales everyday for four hours after breakfast. It was to the point where Harry was dreaming of them. It was tedious and repetitive, but Harry never once complained of his choice. It just felt right. But in order to get Harry used to using the instrument as an outlet, Severus had Harry drop everything whenever he felt emotional and go play. He quickly learned that when Harry was confused, he'd go through the scales chaotically, while anger made him stick to the lower scales. The speed at which he played and how forcefully he hit the keys also told Severus a lot about his emotional and mental state.

Harry also wrote in his journal every night before sleeping and practiced the breathing exercise every morning while he took a shower, got dressed, and went down to breakfast. In the afternoon, Harry worked on his homework and then spent an hour in the exercise and game room each.

He adored the game Snitch Hording, but sometimes Severus would join him and they'd play four-man chess. It was very difficult. The chess pieces that didn't have a human to move them moved themselves and were very good. Needless to say Harry never won a game. In fact, Severus had only won once so far out of three games. Harry laughed every time his mentor lost and began grumbling darkly at the board.

Things were going really well. Severus was surprised. Now that he didn't see James when looking at Harry, he found he rather liked the child. He hadn't had such a happy summer in a very long time. He no longer wanted to help Harry because it was his obligation; now he wanted to help because he truly cared. Harry had come to take up a place in his heart that was usually reserved for his Slytherin children.

xXxXxXx

Harry was jerked out of a deep sleep as Omi called his name. He blinked in the darkness of his room and groped for his glasses. With an irritable yawn, he swished his wand and lights came on. Omi was standing beside his bed, wringing his hands. Harry's sleepy irritation evaporated instantly as worry took its place.

"What's wrong? What's happened?" Harry demanded as he jumped from the bed wearing navy pajamas.

"Master needs to see you in the parlor. He says it is important, but to get dressed first."

Harry frowned, but did as he was asked. His panic had subsided at least. Snape wouldn't ask him to take time to dress if it were a life or death emergency. But he was still worried so he hurried. He pulled on slacks and a soft-cotton white shirt before chasing after the running elf.

"What time is it, Omi?" He thought to ask.

"Just past midnight, young Harry." Omi answered in a tight little voice.

They raced into the parlor and Harry found it was really dark except for a single candle which Severus was holding. The professor looked expressionless. He was dressed in black slacks and a black button down shirt that was untucked at the moment. His black eyes glittered with something that Harry didn't recognize.

He walked quickly over to him, "What's going on?"

"Happy birthday, Harry." Severus answered softly.

Harry froze in mid-step, his eyes wide as saucers and his mouth dropped open. The lights came on and Omi cheered excitedly. Harry looked around, his heart thudding in his chest painfully. There were red and gold streamers hanging from the walls and draped from the ceiling. All the furniture in the room had been taken out except for the couch, which had been pushed into the corner next to a table laden with presents and a cake.

The cake was white with colorful icing spelling 'Happy 13th Birthday'. Thirteen candles were standing proud and all of them sparkled like small fireworks. Hedwig hooted and looked very smug and pleased with herself from her perch on the back of the couch. Music began playing softly through the room and it was festive. Tears spilled over his eyes as he looked to his professor.

"Sir. Thank you. I had forgotten." He whispered.

Severus smiled and wrapped an arm around the child's shoulders, "Well, Gabriel remembered and he let me know."

"Gabriel? He came Out? When?" Harry asked, astonished.

"Last night as soon as you fell asleep, he came to my room and told me in no uncertain terms that we had to do something special today."

Harry smiled and turned to wrap his arms around his professor's waist in a brief, but tight hug. Severus smiled as he hugged Harry back and then gently pushed the boy to the table with his presents. Harry blushed as he took a seat on the couch, gently stroking Hedwig's feathers. She hooted again and nipped his fingers happily. Omi was jumping up and down excitedly as he handed the boy one of the gifts. Harry picked up the birthday card off the gold wrapped present and began to open it with shaking fingers. Two pieces of paper fell out- a letter and a newspaper clipping.

"It's from Ron." He told the room excitedly as he read the newspaper clipping. It said that Mr. Weasly had won money in a drawing and all the Weasley's were on vacation in Egypt. The picture of them with the desert and a pyramid in the back ground showed them all smiling happily. It looked like they were having a good time. He set it aside and opened the card.

Dear Harry,

Happy birthday!

Look, I'm really sorry about that telephone call. I hope the Muggles didn't give you a hard time. I asked Dad, and he reckons I shouldn't have shouted.

It's amazing here in Egypt. Bill's taken us around all the tombs and you wouldn't believe the curses those old Egyptian wizards put on them. Mum wouldn't let Ginny come in the last one. There were all these mutant skeletons in there of Muggles who'd broken in and grown extra heads and stuff.

I couldn't believe it when Dad won the Daily Prophet Draw. Seven hundred galleons! Most of it's gone on this trip, but they're going to buy me a new wand for next year.

We'll be back about a week before term starts and we'll be going up to London to get my wand and our new books. Any chance of meeting you there?

Don't let the Muggles get you down! Try and come to London,

Ron

P.S. Percy's Head Boy. He got the letter last week.

Harry smiled widely and ripped off the gold wrapping of his present. Inside the box was what looked like a miniature glass spinning top. There was another note from Ron under it. It read: 'Harry – this is a Pocket Sneakoscope. If there's someone untrustworthy around, it's supposed to light up and spin. Bill says it's rubbish sold for wizard tourists and isn't reliable because it kept lighting up at diner last night. But he didn't realize Fred and George had put beetles in his soup. Bye, Ron!'. Harry put it on the table where it stood quite still, balanced on its point, reflecting the colors of the Gryffindor streamers. Harry looked at it happily and grinned at his professor and the joyous elf.

"That's a very nice present, Harry." Severus murmured.

"It is." He agreed. "I like it a lot."

Omi grabbed another present and card, handing them both to Harry. Harry opened the card and immediately recognized the precise handwriting.

"This one's from Hermione."

Dear Harry,

I didn't know how I was going to send your gift to you – what if they'd opened it at customs? – But then Hedwig showed up just like before. She is one smart owl, Harry, and I hope you tell her so. I bought your present by owl-order; there was an advertisement in the Daily Prophet (I've been getting it delivered; it's so good to keep up with what's going on in the wizarding world). Did you see that picture of Ron and his family a week ago? I bet he's learning loads. I'm really jealous – the ancient Egyptian wizards were fascinating.

Ron says he's going to be in London in the last week of the holidays. Can you make it? Will your Aunt and Uncle let you come? I really hope you can. If not, I'll see you on the Hogwarts Express.

Love,

Hermione

P.S. Ron says Percy's Head Boy. I'll bet Percy's pleased, but Ron doesn't seem too happy about it.

He laughed and glanced back at the photograph on the newspaper clipping. Percy, who would be starting his seventh and final year at Hogwarts, was looking particularly smug. He had pinned his Head Boy badge to the fez perched jauntily on top of his neat hair and his horn-rimmed glasses were flashing in the Egyptian sun.

"I bet it's a book." Harry guessed as he opened the present from her, but he was wrong. His heart gave a huge bound as he ripped back the paper and saw a sleek black leather case with silver words stamped across it reading Broomstick Servicing, Kit. "Wow, Hermione!"

There was a large jar of Fleetwood's High-Finish Handle Polish, a pair of gleaming silver Tail-Twig Clippers, a tiny brass compass to clip on your broom for long journeys, and a Handbook of Do-It-Yourself Broomcare. Aside from his friends, what he missed most about Hogwarts was flying. He loved to fly. It was a shame that he couldn't fly here with Snape, but it was no big deal. He wouldn't have gotten to fly at the Dursley's either.

He smiled at Severus to let him know that he was glad to be here and the professor nodded his understanding. Omi interrupted the moment by shoving another present into his lap. Harry carefully set the Kit next to him on the couch and took the card off the present.

"It's from Hagrid." He laughed. "You know, the first present I had ever gotten came from Hagrid when he came to give me my Hogwart's letter. It was a birthday cake that he made himself."

Dear Harry,

Happy birthday!

Think you might find this useful for next year. Won't say no more here. Tell you when I see you. Hope the Muggles are treating you right.

All the best,

Hagrid

Harry thought this ominous since the last time Hagrid said words along those lines he was keeping the secret of the Philosopher's Stone. With a shrug, he turned to the present and ripped off the wrapping. He glimpsed something green and leathery, but before he could unwrap it properly, the parcel gave a strange quiver and snapped loudly.

Harry froze and Severus crept closer, his wand ready. They knew that Hagrid wouldn't send anything to hurt him, but Hagrid didn't have a normal person's view of what was dangerous. Harry poked the parcel nervously and Snape hissed at him to put it on the floor. It snapped loudly again. Harry pushed it onto the floor and out fell – a book.

He just had time to register its handsome green cover, emblazoned with the golden title The Monster Book of Monsters before it flipped onto its edge and scuttled sideways like a crab under the couch. "Uh-oh." Harry muttered as Severus glared at the space where the book had disappeared. He slipped quickly from the couch and got on his hands and knees.

"Harry, be careful."

"It's just a book and I don't want to loose it." Harry answered as he reached for it. "Ouch!"

"What happened?" Severus demanded, pulling the boy away from the couch.

"It bit me!" Harry exclaimed shocked.

Severus growled and cast a spell that had the struggling book floating out to them. He reached around his waist and undid his belt, quickly wrapping it around the book and synching it closed. Harry tensed, but relaxed when he saw the professor smirking triumphantly down at him, holding the book aloft by the loose end of the belt.

"Good one." Harry approved as he took the book back and placed it by the Kit from Hermione. "Wonder why he thinks I'll need this next year."

"Who knows." Severus sneered.

Harry shrugged and turned to the elf who proudly displayed an awkwardly wrapped present. Harry took it and saw a little tag saying 'To yung Harre, from Omi.' Harry smiled at the little elf and gave him a hug. Omi's ears wiggled frantically with joy. "Open it!" The elf cried, unable to contain himself.

Harry did and gasped. It was a snitch! He grabbed the elf in another tight hug, "Thank you, Omi! I love it!"

"Here. This is from me." Severus said as he stepped over the joyfully crying elf sitting on the floor and handed the last gift to the boy.

Harry took it and gently unwrapped it. He stared at what lay revealed in his lap. It was a long white winter cloak and white winter gloves with a pair of black Quidditch gloves that would keep his palms warm while leaving his fingers free to grip the broom or snitch.

"I remember you always looking cold during the winter months." Severus murmured uncertainly.

"I love it. Thank you." Harry cried and jumped up to hug the professor. "Thank you, sir. Really. I've… never had a birthday party before. And the gift is perfect."

"I'm glad you like them." Severus smiled. "Why don't we have some cake?"

That got to Omi and the elf stood up. He snapped a picture with Snape hovering in the background as Harry blew out his candles. Then he began serving everyone. The three of them sat up talking for a while, just having a good time and enjoying each other's company. When the cake was gone and they all had tummy-aches, Severus decided it was time to go to bed. Harry agreed. He went over to gather his gifts and noticed an unopened envelope still on the table.

"Wait. I missed one." He blushed with shame and opened the envelope. It was from Hogwarts and held a list of what he'd need for his third year and a permission slip to go to Hogsmeade on certain weekends. Harry looked at it sadly.

"We'll figure something out." Severus murmured and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Can I at least go see Ron and Hermione at Diagon Alley?"

"We'll see how things are then, but I don't see a reason why you shouldn't go."

Harry looked up him and smiled, "Thanks. Well, goodnight, sir. And thank you again for doing all this."

"It was no problem. Now off with you. I think we'll postpone breakfast to eleven. Sound alright?"

"It sounds great!" Harry laughed and made his way up to his room with all his gifts. For the first time in his life, he was glad it was his birthday.

xXxXxXx

Harry had enjoyed sleeping in, but now it was time to get to work. After brunch, he followed his professor back into the sitting room. Today they were going to work on understanding Kit. The parlor looked like it did everyday, though Omi assured Harry that he had saved the streamers for Harry to keep. Harry thanked the elf profusely and made the little elf very happy.

"How are we going to do this, sir?" Harry asked nervously from his position on the couch. Snape sat across from him with his long pale fingers laced under his chin. It was a position that Harry had come to realize meant the professor was trying to work something particularly delicate out.

"I think we should have her come out. I have a recording device." Here he set up what looked like a photo camera, but it had a slightly larger back. It was pointed toward Harry. "Then we will watch it and you will tell me what you think about her and what it could mean."

"Won't you tell me what you think too?" Harry frowned.

"No. I don't think so. But I will should it become necessary." Severus answered firmly. "It would be best for you to come to the truth on your own."

Harry nodded and leaned back against the couch. He began his breathing exercise and slowly his nerves steadied. Ready, he closed his eyes, willing Kit to come forward, and began to drift off to sleep. Severus watched him impassively. He wasn't sure this was going to work because he didn't know how to call a specific alter Out. He hoped Harry's will would be enough, and if not, he hoped Silas and Gabriel understood what was happening and would help should they need it.

xXxXxXx

Kitten found herself awake and Outside. She crossed her arms and legs with a pout on her face. Why was she here? Nothing had called to her and she didn't particularly want Out yet. But her confusion disappeared as she saw the man in front of her. A slow, seductive smile curled her lips and she looked over at the man through her long dark lashes. The man stiffened; his eyes watchful, but very guarded. Her smile widened and she uncrossed her legs and leaned back, looking completely fuckable she knew.

The man didn't seem affected. Even his voice was cool and detached. "You are Kit?"

"Call me Kitten." She pouted, but with a purr still present in her voice. She faked a yawn. "I'm bored. Let's play a game."

"What kind of game?" The man asked evenly.

"Oh, I'm sure we can think of something." Kitten sat forward and reached out toward his leg. The man stood before she could touch him and stared blankly back at her.

"I don't like playing games."

"Fine." She huffed. "This is boring. I'm leaving."

xXxXxXx

Harry just stared at the wall where the scene between Kit and Snape had just finished playing back. The professor was sitting next to him on the couch so that he could watch it as well. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable sitting next to the man. He was very glad that the recording had been facing away from the professor. He didn't think he could have handled having to watch the man's face while he was dealing with Kitten. Harry felt ashamed and miserable enough without that. Most of all, he felt completely confused.

"What are you thinking?" Severus asked softly as he stood and moved back to his chair.

Harry told him.

"I see."

"I mean, what was that?" Harry was suddenly pacing in agitation. "I don't get it. It was like she wanted… but that can't be right. Can it? And I mean… with you?"

"First of all, you need to breathe. Sit down and do so." Severus ordered. The boy glared at him for a second before doing as he was told. "Second, Kit does not recognize me. That part of you has no idea who I am. She just saw me as another person."

"So she would have been that way toward anyone?" Harry frowned deeply. "That doesn't make me feel a whole lot better."

"But it makes you feel a little better, yes?" Severus smirked and was secretly glad when the boy gave him a small smile in return.

"But I'm not like that at all." Harry sighed.

"Harry, Kit is a very small part of you, stripped of any other motivation, goal, and priority. When blended back with the rest of your personality, she would be put back in proportion. Understand?"

"I guess."

"Like with the dessert." Severus clarified. "She really enjoyed that. I bet since she's been around you haven't craved anything sweet or indulgent, like a nice long bath."

"No." Harry frowned. "Should I?"

"Everyone has cravings like that regularly. Manicures and massages are even more examples. 'Harry' alone doesn't have the capacity for those desires."

"Why would I have pushed that away?" Harry had unconsciously wrapped his arms around himself and drew his legs up a bit.

Severus recognized it as a defensive technique. They had gone far enough. "I don't know. But I think we've worked on this enough for today. Why don't we go practice the piano?"

Harry nodded in relief and followed his professor from the room. After practice, he spent the rest of the day finishing his homework and spending his regular two hours in the exercise and game room. He didn't talk a lot during dinner and Snape didn't press him. He was very thankful for that. As soon as the meal was over, he hurried to his room and shut the door. He collapsed on the bed with a tired sigh. Images he had kept at bay came flashing back. Behind his closed eye lids, he was again watching himself act in a way he never imagined acting.

Refusing to think on it anymore, Harry threw himself under the covers and forced himself to sleep. He woke only a couple hours later from a nightmare. He was gasping for breath and trembling, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what he had dreamed. With shaking hands, he reached for his journal, which he had forgotten to write in earlier. But when he held his quill over the page, he went completely blank. What could he write? Suddenly, his hand began to move. He could still feel his arm, but at the same time he felt completely separate from the action.

Maybe you should start on a different alter than Kit. The handwriting was more elegant and loopy than his own.

He gasped and began to panic. Immediately he began his breathing exercise and smiled wryly. Wouldn't Snape be pleased that it had been an automatic response to panic. When he was calm, he carefully wrote back. Who are you?

His hand began to move again and wrote simply Silas.

If I spoke out loud, would you be able to hear me and respond?

Yes.

Oh. I think I prefer writing.

It doesn't really matter. I'm most likely not supposed to communicate with you in any case. Silas admitted.

Why?

It will encourage you to think I'm a different person when I'm really just another part of you.

Do you feel like just another part of me? Harry wrote curiously, biting his lip.

Yes, in a way. Silas answered ambiguously.

Harry didn't know what to think of that, so decided to ask a different question. Do you know what my nightmare was about?

I didn't see it, if that's what you are asking, but I think we both can guess it has something to do with Kit.

You know what happened to her, I mean me?

Harry, Professor Snape was right. You need to face this on your own. We can't just tell you the answer. Besides, I think you should start with a different alter.

Like who?

Good point. The writing changed. It was messier, quicker. This is Gabriel. I think you should stick with it now that you've started. You're going to face problems with any alter you try to reabsorb or whatever.

We obviously don't agree, Harry. Silas responded. But he is correct in saying it will be difficult no matter which alter you start with.

And you'd have to absorb her eventually anyway. Gabriel added.

We got the point the first time, moron. Silas answered and Harry could almost feel him sneer.

Is Kit aware that I'm trying to (pause) reabsorb her?

She was sleeping fitfully and Boy was crying while you were having your nightmare. Silas wrote. Both are calm now.

I think I know something that will help you, Harry. Gabriel added. When Kit was first born, whatever made you create her also made Boy really upset. And he's the one that comes Out when you're hurting the most. Remember that when you face her and kick her butt!

Moron. Silas wrote again and there was a pause. I take it you're still going to work on Kit?

Yes. Harry answered with some reluctance, but he was decided.

Do you think you can sleep now?

I think I'll write a bit more on my own. Oh, and thank you, Gabriel. For the birthday. Last night was wonderful.

No problem! Sleep tight, Harry. Gabriel wrote cheerfully.

Goodnight. Silas wrote and then Harry's arm was released.

He looked down at the page and smiled. He felt better. For a while, he wrote contentedly in his journal about everything that happened that day and on his feelings about suddenly being able to talk to (in a way) Silas and Gabriel. It was kind of strange knowing he was talking to himself, but it also made him feel less alone and stronger. He knew he'd want to write to them again. He lay back down and wondered sleepily if he should tell Snape about the new development.

xXxXxXx

"How are you feeling?" Severus asked as they took their usual positions in the parlor the next morning.

"Ummm… tense, I guess." Harry answered.

He was sitting with his hands fidgeting in his lap, but his posture wasn't defensive yet. Severus also noticed Harry wore baggy clothes. The boy had become much better about wearing clothes that fit him, but when he was feeling the most down or pressured, he tended to revert back to baggy clothes. It made him feel more comfortable because it hid more of him. It was defensive armor, so to speak.

"What to you think about Kit? We didn't really get into it yesterday?" Severus asked gently.

"She's… I don't know." Harry admitted. He sighed. "I really don't. All I know is that I don't like her. But I guess that's obvious since I pushed her away like I did. She makes me uncomfortable and embarrassed and ashamed. The way she was acting was horrible."

"She only acted that way because she had nothing to guide her except for her cravings." Severus answered. "She wants luxury and relaxation, and that is a healthy drive everyone possesses. But alone, the wants she represents become inappropriate."

"Why is it important?" Harry obviously doubted it was.

"Everyone faces stresses in their lives. The need to relax and unwind balances out that stress. Without that need letting us know we've been tense too long, we might push ourselves to the point where we hurt ourselves. Migraines, short tempers, violent outbursts are just a few things that could happen should someone not indulge every once in a while."

Harry nodded, understanding. "I get it. After Hermione studies a lot, she reads a fiction book curled up by a window in the sun. And Ron either flies or plays chess… Hey, I still fly! Why doesn't that count?"

"It could be used for relaxation." Severus agreed. "But not the way you fly. You speed around and do dangerous stunts that, though they may be fun, does nothing to relax your body or mind."

"That's true." Harry sighed, defeated.

"Alight. I want you to play piano for a couple hours. Focus on Kit, how you feel about her, and what she means. I don't want you to think of anything that doesn't relate to Kit in some way. Understand?"

"Yes, sir." Harry stood and made his way to the music room. "Will you be listening?"

"Not if you don't want me to." Severus assured and placed his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"I think I want to practice alone for a while." Harry admitted. He had been with the professor long enough to feel safe in voicing his opinions and not fearing punishment for them. He was proven correct when the dark-eyed man merely nodded and walked away toward his study. Harry relaxed a bit and went to sit in front of the instrument he was quickly coming to love.

xXxXxXx

They did this for eight days. Every morning Harry would talk about Kit for forty-five minutes with the professor, then he'd play piano thinking of nothing but his alter for two hours. Sometimes Severus would sit and listen, sometimes he didn't, but he would always come in and talk with Harry for a few more minutes about Kit before releasing Harry to spend the rest of the day studying, working out, or playing games.

Harry had finished his homework the day before his birthday and Snape was teaching him extra lessons. Harry had chosen Defense Against the Dark Arts, so his professor was teaching him shields and agility, which made him more flexible and quick while dodging, and taught him how to fall without hurting himself. Snape was also teaching him the basics of self-defense twice a week.

Every night before he went to bed, Harry played piano for an hour just to play, thinking of nothing but music. Then he'd write and go to sleep. Silas and Gabriel hadn't written to him since the first time. Harry hadn't tried writing to them yet either. He just didn't feel like talking to anyone really. He was sure he'd have locked himself away by now, but Snape wouldn't let him hide or avoid the problem.

xXxXxXx

Harry woke with a choked scream. He had been having nightmares every night since watching the recording of himself as Kit. But for the first time he remembered pieces of the dream. His heart was pounding against his chest and he was covered in sweat. Tears were falling from his eyes, but he couldn't get enough breath to actually cry. Immediately he began breathing deeply and slowly as he had been teaching himself. It didn't help because every time he'd get calm, he began to sob and choke again.

He stumbled from the bed and almost fell, his legs were shaking so much. Breathing, crying, gasping, he made his way to the door. He had forgotten his glasses and everything was blurry. Crying wasn't helping. He made his way down the hall, his hand dragging on the wall. He passed five open doors before he found one that was shut. Snape's room.

Harry collapsed and Boy came Out with a vengeance. Silas and Gabriel couldn't hold him back anymore. Boy had been agitated by the nightmares every night and this one particularly, and Harry approaching Snape's closed door gave him the strength to push Out because of his fear that Snape would be angry for being woken and they would be punished.

Boy scrambled backward from the door, sobbing. He turned and ran, hunched over and stumbling back to his room. It was too big, there was nowhere to hide. Gasping, shaking, he ran across the room. He yanked open the closet door and crawled inside, pulling the door shut behind him. He sat in the dark, rocking slowly and whimpering.

xXxXxXx

Severus woke to a gentle alarm. He spelled the lights on and opened his door. Harry wasn't there. He frowned. That particular alarm was spelled to go off whenever someone touched his door. He made his way quietly down the hall. He didn't want to wake the child if the alarm had malfunctioned. Harry's bedroom door was wide open. Severus knew the boy had shut it upon going to bed. He stalked forward, tense with worry, but Harry was nowhere to be seen.

"Omi!" He called softly and the elf arrived with a pop in a gray night gown.

"Yes, master?"

"Where is Harry?" The elf's eyes went unfocused and then he pointed at the closet door. "Thank you."

The elf nodded worriedly and popped away. Severus approached the closet and slowly opened the door. Harry was curled in a corner, rocking and whimpering. As soon as the light touched his face he began to cry harder, begging for forgiveness for waking him, begging not to be hurt. Severus grit his teeth against the anguished apologies and knelt.

"Harry… Boy… I won't hurt you. I'm not angry." He said gently, not daring to touch the child yet. "I'm glad you woke me. You did the right thing. I'm proud of you."

Boy's rocking slowed and his whimpers quieted. After a few minutes, he went limp and Harry blinked up at his professor, confused and upset. Severus reached for him slowly, and gently dragged him from the closet. Harry was crying again and Severus lifted him easily and carried him to the bed.

"Harry. Breathe."

Harry obeyed awkwardly. He didn't know what to think about his professor carrying him to bed or sitting beside him with an arm wrapped around his shoulders. No one had comforted him like this except maybe Hermione. But it did help him steady so he leaned into his teacher's side.

"What happened?"

"I… I had a nightmare… It was… I…" He had to stop to breathe. Snape didn't question him again. He sat patiently, waiting for Harry to speak. "I couldn't move… or think clearly… Someone was massaging my shoulders… I thought it was nice and it made me really warm and relaxed… but then… I didn't want it! I didn't!"

"Shhh, Harry. It's alright." Severus whispered, though he was tense as well. He had suspected what had caused Kit, but to hear it was a very different thing. "What happened?"

"They…" Harry's teeth were chattering and Severus held him tighter, fighting his own growing anger. "…pulled my pants… open… and then… it was hot… and I couldn't move… it felt… good… It's not supposed to feel GOOD!" He cried desperately.

Boy rushed out and screamed, jerking away. Severus let him go instantly and just murmured soothingly as the boy trembled and shook in the middle of the bed. The sight was heart wrenching. Merlin! He wanted to kill whoever did this to Harry. He felt sick. By the time Harry came back, he had summoned a calming draught and gave it to him to drink. Harry didn't question and downed it in one gulp. Severus sat next to him again and draped one arm around the boy's shoulders protectively.

"Harry, do you remember who did this?"

"No." Harry said in a small voice.

"You didn't do anything wrong. This wasn't your fault." Severus tightened his hold as Harry began crying softly. "Sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning."

"Don't wanna." Harry protested weakly.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but this isn't one of those time you can shut your door. We have to talk about this. I promise if you begin feeling too upset to continue we will leave it. Now sleep." He said as he rubbed soothing circles on the boy's back. He didn't leave until Harry finally cried himself to sleep.

End Chapter.