A/N: To clear the confusion, only Harry is empathic. When Boy, Silas, or Gabriel are Out, they do not have this ability.
A/N2: The reason the fake story of Neville being with Remus works is because Mrs. Longbottom does not know he is a werewolf or that he is searching for Harry. That's why it doesn't matter that Neville stays away during full moons. As for searching for Harry, only the few renewed Order members even know Harry is missing. Everyone else thinks Harry is at the Dursley's.
Summer Training and Growing Closer
Harry woke the next morning ready to start the new schedule. He had written to Silas and Gabriel in his journal before going to bed last night and they assured him they were fine, that their barriers had just returned to normal. They agreed to try Severus' idea for helping Boy and would make sure the alter came Out when Harry called.
He was almost dressed when he heard a tapping at the window. He looked out and couldn't see anything. Frowning, he pushed the glass open and a brightly colored bird appeared inside his room. Harry gasped and opened his mouth to scream when he saw the parchment tied to its leg. The bird chirped happily at him and offered the note. Harry took it and smiled as soon as he recognized the handwriting.
Dear Godson,
I've decided to take a bit of a vacation. Right now I'm sitting on a hot beach drinking tropical smoothies with an umbrella. This doesn't mean you've gotten rid of me! I'll be writing you and will expect a ton of letters in return. Moony will stay with me during his moon-time, but he'll be back with you soon. He sends you and Neville his love. Play a good prank on Snape for me and don't forget to take pictures so I can see!
Padfoot
Harry wrote a quick note in reply, wishing his godfather a good time and a promise that he would write more later. He tied the letter to the bird and it soared back out the window and disappeared. Harry shook his head at that and hurried to the bathroom. He was going to be late! He got his hair damp and combed it as flat as he could before rushing downstairs. Severus was already seated, but Neville hadn't arrived yet.
"A bird tapped on my window, but I couldn't see it until it came into my room, and it disappeared again when it left."
"The windows have the portal woven into them as well as the front door." Severus explained. "Who wrote you?"
"Sirius." Harry answered and handed him the note. Severus sneered at it and handed it back with a look of disgust. Harry accepted it and looked at his teacher through long lashes. "You don't like each other."
"Obviously." Severus answered shortly and turned back to the Daily Prophet that lay on the table in front of him.
Harry could feel true disdain, but not hate coming from his teacher. He decided that he could live with that. He would have asked why Severus felt that way about Sirius for curiosity's sake, but the hurt and anger that lay beneath the dislike warned him off the subject. Instead Harry asked how the search was going.
"Well enough for the farce that it is." Severus answered irritably and Harry wisely fell silent.
They didn't have to wait much longer for Neville, and Omi served them breakfast. No one said anything beyond polite table etiquette, and they were all okay with that. Harry could feel Neville's relief and contentment at the comfortable silence and Severus was radiating a deep satisfaction. Harry basked in the peaceful emotions and ate happily.
"The library is available should you need it." Severus told Neville as he finished. "I only ask that you leave the locked books alone."
"Thank you, sir." Neville answered.
Harry waved goodbye as he followed his teacher into the parlor. Severus took his usual position and Harry sat across from him on the couch. He sighed in gratitude as he felt Severus' emotions mute as his teacher prepared for the session. Harry would have found it hard to focus on his own emotions had Severus not drawn back his feelings the way he had.
"How are you coping with the new memories?" Severus began.
Harry clasped his hands in his lap and stared at them nervously. It was a new mannerism that Severus did not fail to notice as it reminded him very much of Rose. He wondered if this stiff posture would take the place of the boy's fidgeting completely. The silence dragged on, but Severus felt no need to break it. He waited patiently, just watching the teen. Eventually Harry looked up, but didn't quite look him in the eye.
"To be honest, I haven't really looked at the new memories." Harry admitted. "They're there and I dream every night of the Dursleys, but… it's hard."
"That's to be expected." Severus smiled tightly.
Harry found himself smiling back, the tension in his shoulders loosening. He had the utmost faith that his teacher would make all the problems in his mind shrink to manageable size. And this expectation allowed him to open up even more. "It's weird. The things I remember… It's like I'm watching just over my shoulder or something. I can feel what I felt then as Rose, but I feel like me at the same time. So I have two feelings about what I remember. It's uncomfortable and disturbing. I mean, it's me… but not…" He sighed and finally raised his eyes to Severus' hopefully.
"Why don't you give me an example?" Severus leaned forward slightly, bringing his hands up and linking his fingers in front of his lips. Though his feelings were muted, Harry could still see and feel… receptivity. Like, instead of projecting emotions, Severus was a calm pool, observing, accepting, analyzing… absorbing the environment. "Harry?" Severus prompted.
"Oh. I'm sorry." Harry returned his eyes to his lap and tried to think of a good example. As he thought, he was slowly drawn into his memories. His eyes grew distant and his voice was slow, most of his attention on the past and not on his words. The parlor faded and so did his teacher. He was there again on Privet Drive. "I'm… I don't know… eight perhaps.
"Aunt Petunia has invited two ladies over. Both live in our neighborhood. One is plump and merry, she's always shinning with a cheerful excitement, but the colors aren't as bright. It think it's because she's not so smart. The other smiles and says polite things, loves gossip, but she's not happy. In fact, the closest feeling she has to happiness is instead a… satisfied smugness, a sense of superiority. Her face and gestures barely ever match her colors…
"Well, this is all silent, you understand? I can't hear anything in this memory, but I watch and can tell what they're saying in general that way… Anyway, Petunia offers them tea and they accept. I go into the kitchen for the tea service that I already prepared and cleaned. I was excited then. Excited to be helping and I really liked these get-togethers. But… but looking back I only feel sad and tired and… embarrassed at myself and for my Aunt. I realize now that she was showing me off. Like you would a prized servant, boasting that no one else had such devoted help.
"I bring the tea in and I pour. I know Aunt Petunia will ask them what they want in their tea for me since I could not talk, so I watch their mouths and do as they ask. I'm smiling and attentive and content. It's so nice to be sitting there in their company, sipping from my own tea cup – with no sugar or cream, I wasn't allowed any. But I remember the stupid things they talked about. I can feel their pettiness and weak, shallow emotions. Petunia shines the brightest and that's saying something.
"None of them feel deeply and I look back and I'm… disgusted. But I'm not at the same time because it's a peaceful moment and as Rose I take… I don't know… satisfaction from being there with them. I… am happy because my Aunt is pleased and satisfied and happy, and she is so rarely satisfied with me. But… But I realize now that the reason she was so content was because I was being the perfect servant. I was silent, still, and attentive to her every desire. It makes me feel small and dislike myself."
Severus looked at Harry closely. The teen had fallen silent and was obviously lost in his own thoughts, most likely other memories. It was going to be hard for him to reconcile the two different emotions and reactions to the same events, but Severus knew he could do it. He was already doing remarkably well. That most likely was due in a large part to the boy's experience with merging Kit.
"Harry…" The boy looked up slowly and his eyes focused first on his mouth before lifting to meet Severus' eyes. "Your Aunt was wrong to treat you the way she did. You realize this?"
Harry nodded tentatively. He knew what his Aunt had done was hurtful and cruel; he would never treat anyone the way she had treated him. She had taken pleasure from controlling him, oppressing him, degrading him. It was inhumane. But… but she could have been worse, couldn't she? She had taught him how to cook and tend a garden. She had let him sit next to her when the neighborhood ladies came in. She allowed him to eat the scones and cookies as long as the others were served first. He bit his lip. He wanted to condemn her for what she had done. But he equally wanted to make her love him; make her happy with him.
Severus saw this confusion and heard Harry begin to breathe deeply and rhythmically to stem a panic attack. He lowered his hands and spoke steadily, calmly. "You don't need to hate her, Harry. That's not what I'm trying to get you to realize. Instead, I'm hoping to show you that you shouldn't feel ashamed for wanting to please her or for your happiness at her pride. That was what you should have felt for the woman raising you. It was her own weakness and darkness of spirit that brought you her animosity. It was nothing that you did. You did not earn, or deserve, her malicious behavior."
"I understand, sir." Harry assured, much calmer. "I know that. I really do. I remember that no matter how well I did something, she was hardly ever satisfied or happy with me. I knew then and I know now that it wasn't anything I did to make her dislike me. It was who I was that she hated and I can't change that."
"No, Harry. She didn't hate you for who you are. She didn't know who you were. She didn't care to know you. It was what you represented that she hated." Severus sighed. "It's horrible, but that's how it stands. You can't be held responsible for that hate. It began within her and most likely before you were ever born."
"What do you mean?" Harry looked up at his teacher curiously.
"I have seen many cases where a muggle-born witch or wizard is held in awe and esteem by their parents. They are magical and in many ways untouchable; they are something greater than ordinary. They are special. So the parents dote on them, praise them. Non-magical siblings often feel slighted. It is the source of much resentment and bitter hate. It would not surprise me if this happened between your Aunt and mother."
Harry remembered what his Aunt said that night when Hagrid had come to get him. Something about Lily being beautiful and special, that she was the only one who could see her sister for the freak she was. Harry tried to imagine growing up without magic at all, but having to hear about it and see it in a sibling. It would be awful and if his parents had ignored him because of it, making it a hundred times worse.
Severus watched as Harry thought about the scenario he had put forth and recognized a rising sympathy for his Aunt. He interrupted with a firm voice, "Understanding her motivations, the source of her mental illness, does not excuse the injuries she inflicted on you."
Harry didn't protest the word injury. He was well aware that there was more than just physical wounds and couldn't deny his Aunt had damaged him. The mere existence of Rose was proof of that. Severus was pleased with the acceptance and offered the boy a rarely given smile. Harry returned the gesture shyly.
"The visits of your neighbors couldn't have happened that often. What do you think about the rest of your time as Rose?" He asked casually.
"Not much." Harry shook his head slightly. "I mean, I don't really disagree with the way I felt as Rose the way I do when other people came over. I'm not bothered by the contentment I felt while cleaning, cooking, or gardening, or with the satisfaction of finishing a job. The lessons in etiquette are a bit embarrassing now that I'm looking back at them, especially since I remember focusing on all the female parts and not the male, but… It was better than being bored.
"Sometimes Aunt Petunia would get really hateful, but whenever I saw the really dark colors rising I didn't look at her mouth and would continue working or would stare at the floor. I'd say 'Yes' whenever there was a peak or flare and that usually calmed her down. I just felt sad when this happened and don't really feel much different now, even though I can guess what she was saying."
"I see." Severus nodded. "And what about the others in the house? I am aware you spent most of your time with your Aunt as Rose, but you had to have been exposed to your Uncle and cousin to some degree."
"I remember Dudley being exactly how he looked on the inside as on the outside. He was always dissatisfied and uncomfortable. He'd feel smug and gleeful when he thought his mother was hurting my feelings or when I was ordered to serve him, but it was always fleeting. He was never really happy. I pity him, then and now. He didn't even love his parents the way they loved him and that always seemed the worst of it to me.
"Uncle… His hate was always there. It never left and his colors… they were literally black when he was focused on me. Not even Petunia's got that dark. I tried to stay away from him or to avoid his notice. Otherwise I just endured it. I… I don't really know how I feel about it besides… just being afraid." He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "It really scares me… That black… I've dreamed about it and woke up shaking and nauseous."
"We'll focus on your Aunt before we branch out to your Uncle." Severus decided, suspecting they were approaching Boy's territory. "But I think we've done enough for today. Why don't you play piano? Think about what you've learned about yourself and your life growing up. Focus on your Aunt. Do not play for fun. You'll have time for that later tonight."
"Yes, Severus." Harry smiled and stood. "Do you want to come listen?"
"If you will allow it." He inclined his head.
"I don't mind." He assured him and led the way to the music room. Even though he could leave his piano there, he still continued to turn it back into a necklace and wear it. He was glad Severus didn't say anything about it when he took it off and turned it back into a piano. He didn't want his teacher to make him leave it.
Harry played for the rest of the two hours until Severus indicated that he should stop. "It's time for Neville's lessons." He stood from the chair he had been sitting in and closed the book he had been reading. "And for you to do your homework." Harry mock groaned and was rewarded by a flare of amusement, though Severus' mouth hardly changed. "Get to it, brat."
"Yes, sir!" Harry saluted and quickly said the spell that returned to him his necklace before running laughing from the room.
Severus followed at a more dignified pace and turned to go downstairs. Instead of the parlor, he went to the sitting room. Neville was already there and smiled at his entrance. He had chosen this room to teach Neville in because it was larger and had more floor space. He gestured and the young Gryffindor settled cross-legged on the floor. Severus folded gracefully into the same position across from him.
"How are your studies going?" He inquired evenly.
"I'm almost done." Neville answered without stutter or blush.
Severus inclined his head to acknowledge the improvement, "Have you considered what you'd like your independent study to focus on?"
"I'm not sure." Neville admitted.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes."
"Begin."
Severus watched as several minutes passed. The teen's breathing eventually slowed and deepened, but didn't quite reach the level of deep mediation. And when he clapped his hands together Neville jumped and his eyes snapped open. He blushed with his failure to reach the deep meditative state without help, but Severus assured him that this would take time and a lot of practice.
"Listen to my voice." He said slowly, deeply. "Follow it down… Let it carry you deep inside… There is nothing around you… There are no feelings… There are no smells… There is no darkness and no light… It is silent for all but my voice… You float in this void… You are safe... There is nothing to fear… There is nothing… You exist... You are aware, but have no thoughts…"
Severus again clapped, but this time Neville didn't register it. The Gryffindor sat completely still, his face completely lax and blank, his eyes closed. His breathing was deep and slow, slower even than a person reached when asleep. Severus waited. The teen wouldn't be able to maintain this state for very long and would rise on his own.
So far the longest Neville had been able to maintain this state of meditation was for three and a half minutes. Of course that feels like a lifetime when you are experiencing it, but he hoped to get the boy to be able to enter this state unaided and maintain it for at least fifteen minutes. Neville reached four minutes before slowly returning to awareness.
They repeated this process several times. Neville would try it alone and then Severus would talk him down. He'd remain deep inside himself for as long as possible and then they'd start over again. By the end of the two hours, Neville had been able to maintain the deep state for four minutes and could almost reach it on his own.
"You're making progress." Severus concluded and rose to his feet.
Neville wasn't near as graceful and staggered on his numb legs. Severus had to catch him before he fell and hit his head on the table. Neville blushed hotly with embarrassment and self-reproach at his clumsiness, but that faded when Severus ignored it completely.
"Before we go to lunch, I wanted to ask if you would like to extend your stay?" The Potions Master asked neutrally.
"Yes!" Neville cried and blushed. "I mean, yes sir. I would very much appreciate being able to stay."
"Then write to your Grandmother pretending to be Professor Lupin and ask for permission to stay an extra week."
"But…" Neville bit his lip.
"I know a spell that will change your handwriting to his." Severus assured him and urged him to the desk.
Neville sat and wrote the letter. He explained that "Neville" was having more difficulty than expected and requested a few more days to tutor him. He was sure his Gran would agree, especially because of the way he worded it as being both polite and hopeful and yet despairing of his own abilities. He felt uncomfortable with Snape reading over his shoulder, but it was worth it if it got him a few more days here with Harry and away from his Gran's judging, disappointed eyes.
He watched as Snape muttered a spell and tapped the paper five times in different places. Even though he knew what would happen, Neville was still amazed when all the words shifted and looked exactly how Remus would have written them. Even the signature at the bottom matched his teacher's.
"Keep this in mind." Severus advised as he rolled the parchment up. "Don't blindly trust anything written. If it is important, always gather confirmation." Neville nodded. "I will send this off. I'm sure Harry is waiting for you."
"Thank you, Professor Snape." He smiled and hurried from the room. He couldn't wait to tell Harry that he might not have to go home tomorrow.
xXxXxXx
After lunch, the boys were released to do whatever they wanted while Severus went down and worked on potions for a couple hours. Harry led his friend up to the game room with a happy smile.
"I challenge you to a game of Snitch Hording!" He said as he went to his favorite game.
Neville laughed, "You know you're going to win."
"Come on, Nev. You can do it. It's not that hard." Harry coaxed.
The bigger boy sighed as he stepped up to the platform next to Harry, "Alright fine. But after this, I challenge you to Blaster."
Harry nodded. He was okay at the targeting game. The Snitch game started up and their hands darted forward. Neville was doing well until the game picked up speed. His hand-eye coordination was average, but he just couldn't move his hand's as fast as Harry. His friend was twisting and striking, grabbing some of Neville's so that the game wouldn't end too soon. They were both panting when the game came to a stop, claiming Harry the winner, five minutes later.
"My arms are killing me." Neville groaned.
"Shake them out." Harry advised and demonstrated by shaking his arms and rolling his shoulders. He ran over to the Blaster and lifted a fake wand. Neville came up to his side and picked up the other one.
"I wonder why Snape has these games." Neville murmured as the screen lit up and the game began. He aimed and shot at the projected monsters and enemies; Harry was doing the same at his side.
"Don't know…" He shook his head. "Look out!"
"I got it." Neville muttered. "Left!"
"I'm hit!"
"Hey! I hit that one!"
"You have to hit these twice." Harry laughed. "They get harder to kill the more levels you go up."
"Great." Neville glared at the machine. "A plant monster! Is it laughing at us?"
"I think it is." Harry grinned.
"It's going down." Neville mock growled, making his friend laugh so hard he earned his third hit and was killed. "Now look what you did." He shook his head in despair.
"Again!" Harry cried when he could breathe.
xXxXxXx
Two hours later the boys reluctantly left the game room and made their way to their bedrooms to quickly change into something they could workout in. Severus was frowning impatiently when they hurried into the exercise room. He wore black, loose cotton pants and a black T-shirt. The boys wore the same, but their pants were white and Neville's shirt was red, Harry's blue.
"I expect you to be on time." Severus said darkly. "Two o'clock and no later."
"Yes, sir." Neville and Harry chorused.
Severus ran them through an exercise program that lasted forty-five minutes. They jogged, jumped-rope, did push-ups, pull-ups, crunches, and worked on the weight machines; spending exactly seven and a half minutes on each without a break. Severus watched them like a hawk and would snap at them if their pace got too slow.
Harry was sweating and panting when their teacher called a halt. Neville was worse. His face was beat red. He wasn't useed to physical exertion. His Gran rarely let him run around or do anything strenuous because she feared he'd fall and hurt himself. And he was too afraid of water to go swimming. Severus had mercy and let him rest for five minutes. Harry brought him water and he was too sore to feel embarrassment at his lack of strength.
"Alright. On the mats." Severus barked and the boys scrambled to obey.
Severus demonstrated defensive posture, blocks, and how to kick and punch properly. The boys practiced for half an hour; thighs and arms burning. Another five minute break, which consisted of walking slowly to the dueling room. Severus set up motionless targets and had them practice dueling spells. Neville had to run to his room to fetch his wand and got a lecture about always needing to carry it on him.
"I will get you both holsters to wear on your forearms or around your thigh." Severus stated with arms crossed. "I don't want to hear you don't have your wand ever again."
"Yes, sir." The boys said tiredly and continued to fire their spells.
"Eventually I hope to have you both skilled enough to spar and duel each other for practice." He told them as an incentive. He knew the teens would find that exciting. "First, I have to make sure you won't be able to kill each other accidentally."
xXxXxXx
When the rest of the hour was up, Severus dismissed them and strode from the room. The boys sat on the floor, panting. Omi appeared and Harry thanked him profusely for the drinks he brought. Neville groaned around his glass when Severus came back in. Their teacher smirked at their pain and cast cleaning charms on them.
"Get dressed." He said. "You have an hour before dinner and you will use this time to follow a creative pursuit."
"I never thought to hear you say that." Neville laughed weakly.
"You said you were interested in drawing." Severus said, ignoring the boy's comment and handing him a sketch pad and several pencils that were self-sharpening. All of it was of very good quality. The paper would even glaze so that the work wouldn't smear when the artist was done.
"Thank you." Neville took the tools reverently. "These are amazing." Severus nodded once and turned away. "Wait, sir? Ummm… I draw landscapes; I'm not so good at drawing people. Do you think I could go outside?"
"I could play out there as well." Harry added, fingering his necklace.
Severus frowned, but could see the benefit of the boys getting out for a bit. The sun and fresh air would do them good. "Alright. I will grab a book and join you."
The boys cheered and ran for their rooms to change their clothes. Severus smiled and did the same. In less than four minutes, all three were at the front door. Neville was clutching his sketch pad and pencils, Severus had a thick tome, and Harry had his necklace. They went outside and followed Neville as he looked around for a good view to draw. Eventually he settled about five hundred feet from the house, halfway to the sparse wood.
He settled cross-legged in the grass with a happy smile. Harry found flat ground a few feet behind him and said the words to return his piano to its actual size. Severus summoned a chair and sat facing the boys. Harry's fingers hit the keys gently and he ran up and down the scales. When he was warmed up, he began playing a playful little tune that slowly slid into something calm and beautiful.
All three of them lost track of time, too caught up in the peaceful moment to pay attention. They were startled, therefore, when Omi appeared next to Severus, telling them dinner was ready. Severus thanked the elf as the boys put away their things. Omi smiled joyfully. He hadn't seen his master so at peace in a very long time.
"Can I see, Nev?" Harry asked his friend as they walked back to the house.
Neville blushed and opened his sketch-pad.
"Wow!" Harry's eyes went wide. "I didn't think there could be that many different shades of one color! That's really good!"
"I'm not finished with it." Neville murmured, embarrassed. No one had asked to see his work or to think it anything but a waste of time.
"You have talent." Severus said softly and Neville jumped. He hadn't noticed his teacher coming up beside him. "I'd like to see the finished product."
"O-o-okay." Neville stammered.
"Will you draw me something?" Harry asked. "I want to hang it in my room. Please, Nev?"
"What do you want me to draw?" Neville's blush deepened and he wished he could sink into the ground and hide from all the attention.
"Anything!" Harry smiled and hugged his friend. He could see Neville's mortification and pleasure at all the praise. It was a painful combination and he wanted to make it better. His instincts must have been right because as soon as his arms went around his friend's neck the boy relaxed. Harry's smile widened and he practically hung off Neville, making his friend drag him along.
"Harry!" Neville rolled his eyes.
xXxXxXx
They had eaten and were pleasantly full. The taste of the delicious chocolate mousse was still on their tongues as they made their way to the parlor. Harry was nervous and twisting the end of his shirt in his hands. This hadn't sounded like a big deal when they talked about it last night, but now he was distinctly nervous. Not really for himself; after all, he wouldn't be there or remember any of it, but for his friend and mentor. He didn't want them to see him… well, he wasn't sure exactly how he acted as Boy, but knew it wasn't pleasant.
"It will be alright, Harry." Severus reassured as he set up the chess board. Neville offered a weak smile.
Harry could feel calm acceptance from his teacher. His colors were steady and imperturbable. Neville was nervous and pitying, but was also determined and concerned. Harry sighed and sat on his couch. "What is the goal of this again?"
"Boy has been severely traumatized. At the moment, he is unable to conceive that his environment will not hurt him. He can not comprehend people around him not punishing him. We are going to sit here, calmly, and let him slowly grow accustomed to our presence and accept that people will not always equal pain."
"How'd you think of this?" Harry asked, more to stall than because he really wanted to know.
"Actually, Salazar was watching you while you were in your coma and discovered your condition." Severus said casually. "He swore to keep it secret, but he was intrigued and gave me some insight into your condition that not even Silas has realized. It was he who suggested this and, from my own experience, I fully agree that this will help."
"Hogwart's spoke through Salazar and wants to help me?" Harry was stunned.
Severus let his eyes settle on Harry's, telling him that he wouldn't be allowed to put it off any longer. "Are you ready?"
"You know," Harry smiled nervously, "if all the phantoms are Hogwarts, it's like the castle has MPD like me."
Neville laughed, "You have a point. They may have evolved from separate origins and personalities, but have since combined to become the castle."
"Alright. I'm ready." Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
Severus and Neville waited with baited breath, not sure who if any of Harry's alters would emerge. Severus hoped that Silas and Gabriel would cooperate, even though things hadn't been resolved between them. This was for Harry's own good, after all, and that should be their main concern. Of course, they had been granted a level of independence that worried Severus. He wasn't sure what Harry's alters were capable of anymore.
Harry opened his eyes and his face twisted into a sneer. "I'll help you do this with Boy." Silas said stiffly. "But you will tell me what this Salazar told you about us later."
Severus inclined his head in agreement and Silas glared before closing his eyes. A second later Harry was cowering on his knees, cringing away from them as he reached a single trembling hand in supplication. "Please don't hurt me. I'll be good. Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, don't hurt me. Please."
"No one will hurt you. You've been a good boy." Severus said evenly. He knew Boy wouldn't understand kindness or warmth, so made his tone as firm and matter-of-fact as he could. "Come, Neville. Let's play."
Boy cried and muttered his pleas for almost thirty minutes. Severus and Neville ignored him. Just looking in the broken teen's direction was enough to set Boy off on another round of begging. Eventually, Boy fell silent and sat with his knees to his chest and his arm wrapped tight around his legs. He rocked quickly and his shoulders shook every few minutes with his overwhelming terror.
It was hard, but Severus kept his horror and anger tightly reigned in. Neville was shaky and was losing the chess game badly. Seven thirty rolled around and Severus deemed Boy had been Out long enough. It had nothing to do with his own fraying nerves, he promised himself as he knelt by the teen. Boy saw him coming and began to cry hysterically, curling into a protective ball and his arms covering his head.
"Harry. You're alright. Come back, Harry. Everything's fine. You did really well. I'm very proud of you." Severus said gently; he was careful not to touch the teen.
Neville watched his teacher slowly coaxed Harry back Out and bit his lip. He hated this. He hated seeing his friend like this and hated what his imagination painted in his mind as to what made his best friend so afraid. It made him sick to his stomach. Harry came back and sat up, blinking confused green eyes.
Severus tenderly brushed away the teen's tears and smoothed his hair away from his sweaty face. In contrast to his gentle and caring actions, his voice was devoid of emotion. "We're done. You did well." Severus stood and straightened his robes. "I am going to retire for the night. I suggest you boys don't stay up too late."
"Good night, Severus." Harry said with warm glowing eyes. He knew his teacher cared for him. The warm and bright colors were shining down on him as the sun would. He basked in it. It was the first time he had felt such feelings directed toward him from an adult and it touched something deep inside him. Tears sprang to his eyes and he stood and wrapped his arms around his teacher's waist. "Thank you. For everything." He said thickly.
Severus would have blushed if he hadn't stopped the reaction before it started. He settled for a light sneer and awkwardly patted the small teen on the back. Harry released him with a grin and turned to Neville, "Come on! Let's see if Ron has written!"
Neville smiled and chased his friend from the room. They ran upstairs and into Harry's room. They settled on the bed next to each other and Neville looked over his friend's shoulder as Harry unrolled Ron's parchment in his lap.
Hey Harry! How are things with you? Seen anything exciting? Hermione wrote me today. She said that we had to agree to disagree about you and that it would be best if we didn't talk about you. I told her that was okay. She's been studying of course, but I'll spare you the details. I wish she had done the same for me. Percy got a job at the Ministry working for a Mr. Crouch. Hardly ever comes home and when he does, he's always yelling at us for being loud because he's working on important reports. Fred and George latest prank was to spell every quill in the house not to write and he about had a heart attack. They've gotten so bad and Percy looks like he's about to go crazy that Mum kicked the twins out of the house for a few days to get some peace. I think they went to some friend's house. Did you know the Quidditch World Cup starts in just over a month! I wish I could go, but I guess it doesn't really matter since England didn't make it to the finals. Well, I have to go. Mum has chores for me. Talk to you later, mate!
"He's been talking about the World Cup for half a year!" Harry laughed.
"That doesn't surprise me." Neville smiled. "So Hermione finally caved. Sounds like she's still certain she's right."
"I guess." Harry frowned. "I can't really blame her though. I mean, she doesn't know what's going on. Still…. It would have been nice if she had just taken my word for it. I'm not known for exaggerating or lying and she should know that."
"What are you going to tell him you're doing?" Neville asked.
"I don't know. Want to help me think of something?"
"Like what?"
"Well, I don't want to lie to him, but I can't tell him I'm at Snape's secret house either. He still thinks I'm on the run with Sirius. And of course you're supposed to be with Remus and not with me."
"Tell him about Disneyland and the movie. Say you went on two different days." Neville shrugged.
"Alright." Harry began to write. When that was done, they still weren't tired. So they sat up talking. "Tell me about your home." Harry asked. "You told me some that night in Gryffindor Tower, but you haven't really said anything more."
"What do you want to know?" Neville asked, hugging a pillow to his chest.
Harry could feel his unease, "You don't have to. I'm sorry I asked."
"No." Neville shook his head. "It's alright…. Well, you know that my family thought I was a squib. But that didn't really start until I was six or seven or so. Before that, I lived with just Gran. Great-uncle Algie didn't move in until last summer. Anyway, it was just Gran and I, and she always wanted me to be proper and do my parents proud. She always talked about them. I didn't really understand then why they couldn't be with us or why they were sick… Anyway, I was always being yelled at for not sitting right or eating right. I'd get in trouble for making messes and yelled at when I was clumsy. Of course, then I got nervous and got even clumsier until she'd send me to my room.
"She was always saying how wonderful my parents were. How powerful and talented and graceful. She wanted me to be like them. She'd say, 'Neville, grow up like your father. Be smart like your mother.' But I couldn't quite meet those standards. I always fell short and she'd look at me with disappointment and say, 'You need to work harder, Neville. Make your parents proud.' I tried really hard to be perfect and the best. I was always tense and worried that I would fail.
"Then the family began to question my magic. They'd throw things at me, poke me, scare me by creeping into my room at night, but no matter what they did, I didn't have any bursts of accidental magic. It got to the point where most of the family wasn't talking to me. I was invisible to everyone except my Gran and Uncle Algie, and they were constantly lecturing me to be stronger and better because my parents deserved a good son.
"It wasn't long before I just gave up. I just couldn't be as good as they wanted me to be. I was a disappointment and always would be. I accepted it. Uncle Algie saw this and got really mad. He took me to the pier. It was almost noon and a storm was coming in. The ocean was really rough. He grabbed me and flung me off the pier…"
Neville hugged the pillow and shivered. Harry could feel his remembered terror and dark colors rose from him, filled with his despair. Harry wrapped his arms around his friend's shoulders and hugged him tight. Neville smiled and the colors lightened and the terror dulled to fear.
"I almost died. I remember thrashing in the water, trying desperately to get to the surface, but I was confused and the water kept flinging me around. I crashed into rocks and the bottom of the ocean. I broke my arm and was bruised all over when someone finally rescued me. I was barely conscious and coughing up all this water. The salt was everywhere; in my eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. I couldn't stand the taste of salt in my food for months after that and I still can't bring myself to get into any body of water. Pools freak me out. Pathetic, huh?"
"Not really." Harry soothed. "I think I'd be scared of it to."
"I probably would have died that day if it weren't for the muggle who saved me. My family just stood there. None of them moved to help me. I guess if my magic didn't save me then I didn't deserve to live. Gran wasn't there. I know she'd have rescued me. She thinks I'm a disappointment, but she loves me. She wouldn't ever hurt me. I'm her grandson, her son's only child.
"Anyway, four months later, Uncle Algie got a hold of me again and threw me out of a third story window. I was eight and my magic finally manifested. It formed a round shield around me and I bounced when I hit the ground. I bounced and rolled for half a mile before I came to a stop. I was so dizzy and sick, but I was happy too. I had magic!
"My family was so excited. Gran was so proud; she didn't lecture me for a whole week no matter how clumsy I was or what I did wrong. I'm Uncle Algie's favorite now. He sends me expensive gifts for Christmas and my birthday, and when he was told he was too old to live by himself, he chose Gran's house because I was there.
"They were so happy when I got my Hogwart's letter. I was too. I love them, but I was glad to finally get out of the house. But I was scared to death that I wouldn't be put in the same House as my parents. I knew Gran would never forgive me if I didn't get in Gryffindor. I honestly didn't think I would get in. I mean, I'm not brave at all."
"Yes, you are, Nev." Harry rebuked. "You stood up to Lockhart, didn't you? I couldn't do that."
Neville blushed at the memory, but felt proud too. He smiled at Harry and nodded, "That's what the Hat said. He said I would do well in Gryffindor. That I would finally learn to be myself there."
"See!" Harry laughed and swung a pillow around. It smacked Neville right in the face and he yelled as he grabbed a pillow to hit back.
The pillow fight lasted several minutes and didn't stop until they were breathless with laughter. They didn't return to the topic of Neville's family or home-life. Instead, Harry showed Neville Sirius' letter and described the exotic bird that had brought it. Neville and Harry wrote him back using the same paper.
"Do you think we should?" Harry asked thoughtfully.
"Should what?" Neville asked curiously.
"Prank Severus." Harry smiled mischievously.
"I don't know." Neville bit his lip. "He could get mad."
"Not if we do it right." Harry got on his knees on the bed, his face excited. "He'll think its funny, I promise! We just can't ruin anything or make it permanent."
"What do you have in mind?" Neville sighed.
"I don't know. What do you think?" Harry asked, falling back.
"Let's think about it later." Neville suggested and yawned. "I'm tired. I think I'm going to take a bath and go to bed."
"Alright. Goodnight, Nev. I love you." Harry gave him one more hug and waved goodbye.
Neville laughed and shook his head. "Love you too, Harry."
Harry settled back on his bed happily. He was tired, but a bath sounded good. He'd wait until Neville was done and would write in his journal until then. He had a lot to write about. He felt like he had been sleeping all this time and was just now awake. He wasn't used to feeling so much and for so long. It was tiring, but nice.
He had just finished his entry when he heard Neville leave the bathroom and go into his room. Harry jumped up and grabbed his pajamas. He turned the bath on hot and soaked for a good half hour. He would have stayed even longer than that, but he was tired. He got out of the heavenly tub and into his pajamas. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.
But he was only still for five minutes before his eyes opened again and Silas stood. The Slytherin teen dressed quietly and efficiently. He didn't feel comfortable going to talk to the Professor in pajamas. He listened before stepping out into the hall, but there was no sounds coming from Neville's room. Silently, he slipped into the hall and headed downstairs. He didn't bother calling Omi and asking where Snape was. He knew where he'd be.
Sure enough, he found the Potions Master sitting behind his desk in his office, patiently waiting. "Hope I haven't kept you." Silas sneered.
"Have a seat." Severus gestured.
"No thanks. I think I'll stand." Silas stepped into the room and leaned against the wall next to the door.
"Before we start I'd like to know where you stand." Severus said leadingly.
"Funny. I was going to ask the same of you." Silas crossed his arms.
"Harry is your main concern?"
"He is."
"Why did you let him go off with Black?" Severus asked casually, but his eyes were hard.
"Black is good at hiding. I was aware of the risk, but had some faith in the ex-Auror's ability to keep us hidden. Gabriel was all for it and Harry was tempted. I stated my case and it was agreed we'd go."
"You spoke to him." Severus leaned forward, eager for the explanation.
"Where do you stand, Snape?" Silas returned in a gentle purr.
Severus sat back. He knew that was fair. He had asked a question and Silas had answered. It was his turn now. "I stand at Harry's side. Like you, I want what's best for him." Seeing the teen's disbelieving face, his own hardened. "What would you have had me do? The Headmaster had just exhausted himself reinforcing the wards of the castle against a storm of Demon's making. Weasley and Granger were telling him stories of Harry's strange behavior and reminding him of that disastrous week in November when you and Gabriel tag-teamed in Harry's classes. He was also suspicious of all the detentions Harry had been serving.
"I did the best I could to minimize the damage. I did all I could to ensure Harry was not sent back to the Dursley's. Granted, the Headmaster now knows about you and Gabriel, and that wasn't planned or desired, but it was preferable to the alternatives. What would you have done if he had found out about Demon and the power he possesses?"
"Are you taking credit for that remaining secret?" Silas asked with narrowed eyes.
"I was the only adult witness of the storm and I told him that it came in over the forest. He would have investigated further if it weren't for that account." Snape stood and his voice turned brittle and dark. "I don't have to sit here and justify myself to you. I don't like the Headmaster knowing of Harry's condition anymore than you do. The question now is can we work the situation back to our advantage. And I believe we can."
Silas said nothing for a while. He just studied the man before him. Severus waited for the judgment to fall. Things would be a hundred thousand times more difficult if Silas was working actively against him. He needed the Slytherin's support. Especially since he was the regulator for the other alters and had the strongest influence over Harry.
"Alright. I can accept that for now." Silas answered and stepped forward to sit in the seat he had refused earlier. "But be warned that I am watching you and should you hurt Harry I am prepared to hurt you in return. Badly."
The scary thing was Severus didn't doubt that Silas had the knowledge and capability to hurt him. He nodded solemnly in understanding, remembering what he had done to Lockhart and wondering what equal horrors Silas was capable of.
"Good." Silas purred, this time with satisfaction and not threat. "Why don't you tell me what Salazar told you about us? In return, I will share details of Harry's current condition and explain our brief telepathic communications."
Severus agreed to that and explained what Salazar theorized about Demon's origin, current state, and the alter's implications. Silas listened silently, eyes dark and thoughtful, and told him what he wanted to know without commenting about Voldemort's possible link to Demon.
"When we woke from our comas, the boundaries between us had blurred and shifted. Only Boy was able to come Out. The rest of us were locked in our soul rooms and denied access to the community sitting room. Rose was asleep, as was Demon. But Gabriel was awake and I could talk to him. The same as if I were to step into the hall and speak to you. We were aware of what was happening around Harry like normal, but found he could hear us as well if we shouted.
"So our ability to protect Harry was limited. He was vulnerable and all we could do was guide him away from situations he could not handle on his own. Of course, Gabriel couldn't quite grasp that and thus his support of the trip with Black. In any case, Rose's door is gone. Harry hasn't healed completely, the doorframe is still scarred into the wall, but accepting love and the need for approval, and all that that entails, stabilized him and returned the boundaries back to the way they should be."
"I see." Severus folded his fingers before his mouth.
"How is the search coming?"
"Dumbledore is letting up a bit and beginning to accept the fact that Harry might not be found until he returns voluntarily to Hogwarts for the next school year."
"And the Ministry?"
"I only know that they've reached another dead-end with no fresh leads."
Silas nodded and stood to leave, "For what it's worth, I do not approve of Harry loving you. Or, for that matter, caring that deeply for anyone. But I will not stand in his way since it is something he obviously wants. At the same time, don't expect me to sit back and do nothing if this newfound emotion begins to be used against him."
"I understand." Severus said softly, but Silas was already gone.
Chapter end.
A/N: Things are going nicely, don't you guys think so? Anyway, I need help on the prank the boys are going to play on Snape. Any ideas? Any suggestion would be most appreciated.