Max was moping. It was more than Janet could handle. She worked up the courage to talk to Max. Janet tiptoed from her bedroom, down the stairs and into the living room, where Max was staring blankly at the television. Janet sat at the other end of the couch. Max didn't move. "Max." No reaction. "This isn't your fault, Max. She's a grown woman and she makes her own decisions." Max turned her head to look at Janet. "She was right though. I never listened to her." Janet was surprised she was talking. "She not dead, Max, you can make it up to her." Max sighed. "I've never been good at this friend thing, you know?" She shrugged. "Friends fight sometimes. You guys will be fine." "But will our squad be fine?"
Amy was still wearing her Debs outfit and stuck out like a sore thumb in Lucy's Evil Lair. She'd gotten quite of few double takes, and one henchman spit his coffee out all over another henchman. Lucy laughed for about ten minutes. When she could finally breathe again, Lucy told Amy it was time to ditch the plaid. So Lucy and Amy were now going through all of Lucy's clothing, picking out an outfit for Amy and an outfit for Lucy to wear on her date.
"How do I look?" Amy had slipped on a pair of dark brown leather pants and a tight white tank top. A slow smile spread across Lucy's lips. The only word that her brain formed was "Hot!" Amy put on a sultry smile and sauntered over to Lucy. She ran a hand down Lucy's arm and twined their fingers together. She leaned in and breathed in Lucy's ear, "How hot?" Amy felt Lucy shudder slightly and when she pulled back she saw quite a passionate storm brewing in Lucy's eyes. Lucy snaked her arm around Amy's waist and pulled her in close. "Amazingly hot. However, we are supposed to be getting me ready for a date. The direction this is moving, I'll never make it to said date." "Maybe that's my plan." Amy leaned in and peppered hot kisses down Lucy's neck. Lucy quietly moaned, but stepped back from Amy. She grinned. "Stay tonight?" Amy smiled back and nodded. "Yeah." Lucy's smile gained some wattage. "Good. Now help me pick out my outfit. And trust me, knowing Scud, this date should go very, very wrong. Without him even meaning it. You'll have a night packed with entertainment." Amy laughed and turned to look in Lucy's closet again. She picked out a tight pair of low rise black slacks and a tight fitting black shirt with a low cut back. "Put this on." She tossed the outfit to Lucy. Lucy smirked at Amy, then removed the jeans she was wearing. Amy drew a sharp breath and stared. Lucy bent to step into the black slacks and looked behind her at Amy, whose eyes were still glued to Lucy's pinstriped black boyshorts. She wiggled it and laughed. This broke Amy's daze and got her laughing and blushing. Lucy winked at her and stood, fastening her pants. She gave Amy some small sweet kisses, then pulled off her shirt and changed into the one Amy picked out for her. "Better?" "You look amazing." Lucy grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room.
Scud looked from Lucy to Amy and back to Lucy. "You're joking, right? You are gonna bring your...girlfriend? To your date?" Lucy looked at Amy. "Wanna be? My girlfriend I mean?" Amy smiled. "Ok." Scud spluttered. "Great now it's official. You are bringing your girlfriend to your blind date. This is retarded." Lucy looked at Scud and laughed. "There were never any rules put in place about this. Besides, I already told Amy, if it's love at first sight, I'll put my fingers to the side of my nose like this..." Lucy made a V with her first and second fingers and put one on either side, "and pinch, and Amy will just leave us lovebirds alone. It's a perfect plan, really." Scud put his hand over his eyes. "You know, I'm terrified of what you have in store for me. And that thought is almost enough to call this off...but I am not going to lose this bet. You know I still can't tolerate..." Lucy cut him off. "Vaseline or cotton candy?" She began laughing, then ruffled his hair. "At least your hair grew back nicely." Amy had been watching the entire exchange between the two of them with a smile on her face. "You guys are too cute." Scud and Lucy both froze, exchanged glances with each other, then turned to Amy with horrified looks on their faces. "You think we are...cute? I will have you know you are in the presence of a top henchman and a master criminal. We are not cute. We are evil and menacing." They high fived. Amy giggled. "Um, no, you are cute. But I won't spill your secret. Even under threat of interrogation."
"Well, you are cute. A big, cute, cuddly teddy bear henchman." Janet smiled into the phone. "Thanks for calling. We had no idea where Amy went. Well, I had an idea." Scud sighed. "What's wrong?" "Well, I'm worried. I know Lucy has been having trouble finding me blind dates, and I was really starting to think I was going to win the bet this time. Now I'm not so sure. I think she's teamed up with Amy." "Oh, I don't know if you have anything to worry about. Amy's pretty awful when it comes to dating. She went on a date once with a guy who picked his nose all through dinner. And another guy who brought his mother with them to a movie." Janet heard a high pitched whining noise on the phone. "Scud?" "Ha! Sorry, I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Well I guess I feel better. Anyway, Lucy's date tonight sounds great, even if she is gonna just find a way to get out of it." "Where'd you find her?" "Online. Heh, I made her a fantastic profile!" Janet frowned. "I had a sweater ruined the night of my last blind date. Hopefully she doesn't have my luck." Scud grinned. "That's the night I met you isn't it? I think you had a horrible black smudge on your pink cardigan." Janet paused, and blushed. He remembered my sweater? "Yeah. That was the same night. I-I can't believe you...you are so sweet!" Scud sighed again. "Now I've been called cute and sweet in the same day."
Lucy and Amy pulled into the half filled parking lot of the Dirty Martini. Lucy breathed a heavy sigh and looked over at Amy. Amy grinned. "I am so looking forward to watching you on a blind date...again." She snickered lightly. "Hopefully no guns are involved this time." Amy, still laughing, said, "I'll do some recon for you. Always remember to look up." Lucy joined her. "Yeah, not too brilliant of an idea. This place only has ten foot ceilings." Lucy leaned in and gave Amy a quick kiss. "No more kisses now, I'm about to go on a date." Amy pouted. "Don't pout! But make sure to follow me into the bathroom..." Lucy trailed off and winked at Amy. The memory of the bathroom at the Junkpit was enough to make her blush. Lucy squeezed her hand and released it, and got out of the Skymobile. Amy rolled her eyes, and followed Lucy's lead into the bar. Lucy headed to the bar and sat down, while Amy took a quick look around the place, noting all of the exits, potential spots for cover, if necessary, and anything that could be used as a weapon. They had come armed, but neither had brought spare rounds. Amy grabbed a table with a perfect view of Lucy.
A waitress came over with a Stella Artois, "from the brunette at the bar'" which Amy gratefully took, sketched a small caricature on a napkin, and asked the waitress to bring that back to the girl who bought her a drink. Amy giggled. The waitress gave the napkin to Lucy, and walked away. Lucy unfolded it, to see a mostly accurate but quickly done sketch of Lucy, with her fingers placed exactly how she said they would be if her blind date turned out to be love at first sight. Lucy barked out a laugh, then quieted. She took a sip of her own Stella and contemplated whether or not this picture on the napkin was a message for her, or just a little joke. Was Amy trying to tell me something? Love at first sight? Hmm. She glanced up at Amy, who was giving her a shy smile. Then she saw Amy's eyes change to a wary look, and something of a warning. Lucy felt a small tap on her shoulder. She whipped around on her barstool and surprised the man trying to get her attention. The man in a dress, with a full beard, and inhumanly hairy legs. "Ah, can I help you with something?" "Are you Lucy?" She eyed him up and down, biting back a giggle. She nodded. "You...Are you Kelly?" Kelly nodded. "Yes! So nice to meet you!" "Eh, likewise! Can I get you a drink?" "I'd love a cosmo." "Yea, that was my guess actually." Lucy ordered with the bartender.
"So...you do know I'm gay right? As in, I like women, right?" Kelly nodded at Lucy. "It did say you were looking for women on your profile. So I came dressed as one!" Kelly took a large sip of his cosmo and grabbed a large fistful of bar peanuts. Lucy chanced a quick glance at Amy. She was currently wiping laughter tears from her eyes. Amy made eye contact, and Lucy made the love at first sight gesture, then a shooing motion. Amy broke out into fresh laughter.
"Well, see, I'm thinking this isn't going to work. I like women. Not men dressed as women. That would still be a man." Lucy was nodding at him, willing him to understand and hopefully to just leave. "It's because I didn't shave isn't it? You know, I told my mother I really should have shaved for this date..." Lucy cut him off. She noticed that Amy had moved a few tables closer, most likely so she could hear this winning conversation. "No, it's not about shaving or not shaving." Lucy couldn't help but to laugh a little as she was talking. "It's about actually being a woman." She glanced around the bar, then stopped when she found a set of smiling blue eyes. "Like her for instance." Lucy motioned towards Amy. Amy looked around the bar comically, then pointed at herself in a silent 'Me?' gesture. Lucy nodded. She got up and walked toward Lucy and Kelly. "Um, hi. Can I help you with something?" Lucy smiled an evil smile. "Yeah I think you can." She grabbed Amy's waist and pulled her close, tilting her head slightly and meeting Amy's lips with her own. Lucy pulled away, slightly lightheaded, and Amy looked dazed. Lucy turned to face Kelly who was looking a bit thrown. Lucy pointed at Amy. "Kissing a woman." She then grabbed Kelly by the beard and gave him a kiss. He tried to deepen it, but she pulled away. "Kissing a man. Every time! Yeah, sorry, just doesn't do it for me." Kelly frowned, downed the rest of his cosmo, and walked out of the bar.
Lucy and Amy looked at each other. Lucy rolled her eyes, while Amy raised both eyebrows. They simultaneously burst into giggles. Amy calmed down first, looking seriously at Lucy. "I'll sit and share fries with you, if you promise not to get food poisoning." Lucy snorted laughter. Amy raised her eyebrows again. "Was that a snort? Do bad-ass master criminals really snort laughter? Ah, that's sooo cute!" Lucy ordered a basket of fries from the bartender, and they sat together at the bar. Lucy unfolded the napkin picture. "This is really good. Funny, but good." Amy smiled. "But, I couldn't help but wonder. Was this like a...message?" Amy blushed, from the roots of her hair down to her neck. "Because, you know, it's possible that it might be true-ish." Amy put her finger over Lucy's lips, stilling them. Amy just shook her head. "There may be a time for this conversation, but sitting at a bar at your failed blind date is not it. Just enjoy the moment." Amy smiled and replaced her finger with her lips.