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"Hello, Anastasia," says my dad as I walk into the kitchen the next morning. He is sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee, reading the newspaper and wearing his usual business suit ready to start his day as the CEO of Bennett Electronics.
"Morning, Dad," I say as I walk over to the table where Mrs. Johnson has placed a plate of pancakes, eggs and bacon with a bowl of fruit in my spot complete with a glass of orange juice. "How are you today?"
"I'm all right," he says, "how was your first day back to school yesterday?"
"It was the same old same old thing," I say as I pick at my food.
"Is something wrong, Ms. Bennett?" asks Mrs. Johnson as she prepares plates for my brother and sister.
"No," I say, "I'm just not sure I am that hungry. This is a lot of food."
"You didn't' eat your dinner last night," says Mrs. Johnson, "how can you not be hungry this morning?" she asks with a frown.
"Anastasia," says my father, "eat your breakfast."
"But I'm not that hungry," I say.
"Eat," he says with warning and his dark eyes looking at me. "You need a good breakfast because with a good breakfast it makes you concentrate better in school. And you need to concentrate in school to maintain your good grades."
"Dad, there is no doubt I will have good grades. I have all my life."
"I know but junior year and senior year are the most important years. I need you to be on the top of your game so that you can get into the best college so you can come help me with Bennett Electronics." I groan as I force myself to start eating. "I mean of course you can go to Harvard to become a lawyer too but I would much rather you be with me and we can work together."
"Dad," I say, "I don't want to be a lawyer or work for Bennett Electronics."
"Don't tell me you want to do your silly ballet thing when you grow up. There is no money in that, Anastasia."
"I love ballet and it is my thing that I want to do in life. I would love to dance for the Jeoffrey or the American Ballet Company it would be so amazing and a great opportunity."
"No," he says, "dancing is a waste of time just like your writing is a waste of time there is no money in any of that stuff. You were destined to be something bigger and something greater."
"To be you?" I ask.
"Watch the tone Anastasia Eve, how much money do you think you're really going to make in journalism or trying to write a book. You could be a starving artist and as for your ballet dreams those are impossible. What chances do you think you have of actually making it to New York?"
"I think my chances are pretty good. Madame Giselle said that my ballet technique as well as my ballet skills are exquisite and she would like me to audition for the Jeoffrey this summer. She thinks I can do it why don't you?" I ask.
"Because you're MY daughter and I don't think that ballet is something you should be wasting your time with. We only put you into ballet when you were younger so that you were involved in some type of activity to get into a good school you know that colleges look at that stuff."
"I know, Dad, but this is my life don't you think I deserve the right to make that choice?"
"Anastasia, I'm not going to discuss this with you this morning. I told you you're going to focus on business management or law. There will be no writing or ballet am I clear?"
"Yes, Father," I say as I eat. "So I have to do this new project with some kid in my class."
"I hate when you do partner projects I feel like nothing is up to your potential. What is the project?" he asks.
"It's a project dealing with themes from The Great Gatsby," I say.
"Are you working with Shawn?" he asks.
"Not exactly," I say, "the teacher paired me with someone else."
"That's interesting," he says, "so what's your partner like? Can they get the job done?"
"He didn't even read the book."
"Unacceptable," he says, "why would your teacher pair you with him?"
"So that I can push him and help him bring up his grade."
"So what if he brings down your grade in the mean time?" he asks.
"He won't," I say.
"Let's hope not," he says. "So tonight is your date night with Shawn where do you think you're going to go?"
"I cancelled. I have to meet with my partner this evening to work on our project so I told Shawn I would have another date night with him."
"I see," he says rubbing his chin. "I like Shawn, Anastasia. I think you two are good for each other. Do you think he could be the one?"
"Dad, I am 17 years old no way am I looking for the one. I need time to live my life and do what I want to do."
"Anastasia, Shawn comes from a lot of money as do you. I think it will be wonderful if you two got married after college, had a couple kids and ran a company together or at least ran some type of company."
"Money isn't everything, Dad," I say as I roll my eyes as I eat. "Money can buy a lot of things but it doesn't buy happiness nor does it buy love."
"I have money and I am happy," he says with a smile.
"Really? So where is Mom?" I ask.
"Let's not bring up your mom okay?"
"Okay," I say as I go back to eating. He never wants to talk about my mom or what happened with her. He runs from the truth every chance he gets and hides behind his millions maybe even billions of dollars pretending to be happy although deep down I know he's not happy at all and he's missing her more than words can say. "I just want you to be secure in your future, Anastasia, no more of this writing or ballet talk okay? That's not what you're destined to be. You're the daughter of Roderick James Bennett II you deserve more and will be more than a ballet dancer or a writer."
"Okay, Dad," I say as I continue to eat my breakfast just hoping to finish soon enough so I can head to school to get out of the house. "I probably won't come home after school today. I will be home after I am done at the library. All right?"
"Okay, Anastasia," he says as he directs his attention back to the newspaper leaving me alone for the rest of our time at the breakfast table.
Later that evening I am sitting at the library playing on my I-pad waiting for Dean to arrive. We agreed on 6 and it's almost 7. I am starting the project myself writing down the themes I found from the book. Just as I am about to pack up my stuff Dean arrives. "You're late," I say as I sit back down.
"I'm sorry," he says, "I was busy."
"And you couldn't call or text me to tell me you would be late?" I ask.
"I don't have a cell phone, Anastasia," he says taking a seat next to me, "and I don't have your number."
"Right," I say as I pull out a piece of paper and write my number down for him. "Now you do. If we are going to work together on this project you need to have my number so we can communicate. Do you have a number I can reach you?"
"I don't have a phone, Anastasia," he says. "The best I can do is borrow a friend's cell phone to call you or use a payphone."
"They still have payphones?" I ask.
"In my world yes we do," he says. "We don't have the life of luxury of having a cellphone in our hands all the time."
"I'm sorry," I say, "Please forgive me."
"You don't care," he says shoving my phone number into his pocket.
"All right," I say, "so what do you want to know about The Great Gatsby?"
"I didn't read the book so you might want to give me a summary on what happened so I know what's going on."
"All right," I say taking a deep breath. It's torture already working with him. I give him a brief summary of the book and explain to him as much as I can about what it symbolizes but I don't think he's listening to me. "Okay?" I ask as I finish. "Do you understand a little bit better?"
"I guess," he says, "and what is the project?"
"We're supposed to pick two themes from the Great Gatsby and compare them to the world today and the world during Gatsby's time. I wrote a list of the themes from the book if you want to you can choose whatever ones you want to do but I do want to do the emphasis of class in society." I hand him the paper of my written themes for him to look over.
He looks over it for a while. I think he's really putting thought into it before he hands the paper back to me, "I don't care, Anastasia just pick something and I'll go along with it."
"Are you sure?" I ask. "You were looking at it a long time I thought that maybe you had an idea."
"No," he snaps, "just pick something."
"All right," I say, "you don't have to snap about it. How about we focus on the emphasis of class in society and would you like to focus on love or wealth?"
"Since I know nothing about either how about you just decide."
"Okay," I say, "I think I want to focus on love."
"Of course the typical female," he scoffs.
"You know, Mr. Ambrose your attitude is quite poor and that was a sexist comment. Just because I chose love doesn't mean it's a typical female idea but if it would make you feel better we can focus on wealth instead."
"Says the richest girl in the school."
"What is your problem with me?" I ask. "I'm just trying to work with you and do this together and you have nothing but an attitude."
"Well, Anastasia, that's just the kind of guy I am. You know me. I don't give a shit about anything. I'm the dirty kid in the class that doesn't shower. You know me."
"Maybe you should start giving a shit," I say, "you do give off that vibe that you don't care. You come into class late and make it whenever you feel like it. You fail to do the assignments and you have a poor attitude. If you put a little effort into being in class on time and did the work people might think you actually care."
"Don't lecture me, Anastasia," he says. "I don't need some snob lecturing me. You don't know anything about me."
"The fact you called me a snob shows that you don't know anything about me."
"You're rich there's nothing else to know. Your daddy owns one of the largest electronic companies in the world. You get whatever you want and have everything you could possibly have while me on the other hand I'm lucky if I get to have food to eat."
"You're hungry?" I ask.
"Don't worry about me or have pity for me," he says.
"If you're hungry I could help you," I say.
"I don't need your help," he says.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," he snaps.
"Okay. Sorry."
"I'm sorry let's just focus on the project and then when we're done you can go back to ignoring me again pretending I don't exist."
"I don't ignore you and I don't pretend you don't exist," I say.
"Really?" he asks with a smile. "You bumped into me three weeks ago before Christmas break and acted like it never happened."
"I was probably lost in thought," I say, "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. I'm used to being ignored."
"I truly am sorry," I say as I touch his arm softly. "If I had realized," I say as I feel a flow of electricity go through me. He must feel it too as he pulls his arm away from me. "I would have apologized. I think you have misjudged me, Dean, I am not a bitch or a snob."
"When you're with your boyfriend and your friends you are pretty much on your pedestal."
"I don't mean to be," I say, "and I'm sorry."
"Look don't apologize to me," he says, "Let's just do this project."
"Okay," I say.
"What time is it?" he asks.
"7:45," I say.
"Shit. I have to go. Can we meet to work on this another day?" he asks as he stands up.
"I guess," I say as I stand up with him. "What's wrong?"
"I just have to go do something," he says, "or I'm going to be in trouble. I have to meet someone at 8."
"Do you want me to give you a ride?" I ask as we gather up our things.
"No, Anastasia. I'm heading into the bad parts of town I don't think you want to get mixed up in it."
"I don't mind I can give you a ride," I say.
"No, Anastasia, I'll walk."
"Well," I say, "Be careful."
"I will," he says with a smile. "How about Thursday to work on this?"
"Thursday works for me," I say.
"Thursday," he says with a soft smile.
"Dean," I say as he turns away.
"What?"
"I forgot to give you this," I say as I pull a copy of The Great Gatsby out of my bag and hand it to him.
"What's this?" he asks.
"It's the book. I thought you might need to find some reference in it."
"Thanks," he says. "How much do I owe you for it?"
"Nothing," I say with a smile. "It's yours."
"You're just giving it to me for nothing?"
"Yes," I say. "It's yours to do as you wish. I have another copy."
"Thanks," he says, "I have to go."
"Okay," I say as I watch him hurry out of the library as I shake my head. It's going to be a long few weeks working with that one but he seems so vulnerable even with his tough boy act. I want to help him.
When I get home from the library I am not surprised that my dad isn't home from work. I eat a quick dinner and head upstairs to my room. I'm startled when Shawn appears. "Hey, Baby," he says with a smile.
"Um, hi," I say, "what are you doing here?" I ask.
"I came to see you," he says with a smile. "Aren't you happy to see me?"
"Yeah," I say with a soft smile as I walk over to give him a hug as he embraces me and kisses the top of my head.
"So how was working with that miscreant," he asks as I take off my shoes and pull my curly hair up into a messy bun.
"He's not a miscreant, Shawn. Stop being so mean to him."
"He's pathetic," he says as he sits down on my bed. "I bet you're doing all the work."
"Actually," I say, "we haven't really gotten started on the project we just went over the basics," I say as I take a seat next to him on the bed. "Then he had to go. He had to meet someone."
"He's such a slacker," he says as he takes his hands to massage my shoulders. "I don't' see why Mrs. Regan couldn't pair us together. We would have kicked that project's ass."
"I'm sure," I say as he continues to massage my shoulders. "That feels good," I say with a smile. "Does Tara know you're here?"
"She let me in. She said I have to leave by 9 though so that doesn't give us much time."
"Much time for what, Shawn?" I ask as I turn to face him.
"You know," he says with a smile. "I'm sorry you have to work with Dean. I can make you feel better," he says as he pulls me toward him.
"I'm actually fine," I say, "it's something new for me," I say as we lay back on my bed as he cuddles up with me, his fingers tracing my soft skin. "It's not that bad."
"I don't believe that," he says. "Dean Ambrose is a loser everyone knows it."
"I don't think he's that much of a loser. I think he's misunderstood. Besides did you ever stop to think about what he thinks about us?" I ask as Shawn lays soft kisses on my neck.
"Why would I care what he thinks about us? He is a nobody, he's going to grow up to be a nobody his opinion doesn't matter. People like him are going to be filling our gas tanks when we get older. People like him are going to be our help."
"What makes you think I want us to have help should you and I ever get married? I am capable of cleaning and cooking for myself."
He laughs and says, "you're funny, Anastasia. People like us don't cook or clean for ourselves. Why do it ourselves when we have the money to pay for it?" he asks.
"You're such a snob sometimes, Shawn," I say.
"Not a snob just saying what's true," he says as he rolls me over to my back, laying his body on top of mine, staring down at me with his blue eyes. "Enough talking," he says with a smile, his glaze burning right through me. "I had to give up my date night with you and I want to spend some time with you," he says as he lowers himself down to me, his lips finding mine. I wrap my arms around his neck as we share a passionate kiss with each other, our tongues twirling and twisting together. "I love you so much, Anastasia."
"I know," I say with a smile before he kisses me again. Things start to pick up as he removes his lips from mine, trailing kisses from my ear down to my chin and down my neck. He rolls over pulling me on top of him allowing his hands to slide up my shirt as he runs his hands over my skin causing me to moan from his soft touch. He helps me take my shirt off and tosses it to the floor.
"Anastasia," he breathes. "I'm ready to do this if you are. I just need you to talk to me. Are you ready to lose your virginity?" he asks. "I need you so much right now."
I remove myself from him and grab my shirt. "I should have known what this was all about. You just want to get in my panties," I say. "I'm not ready, Shawn."
"We've been together for a year," he says, "don't you think it's time we took the next step?"
"When I am ready, "I say putting my shirt back on. "I think it would be better if you left."
"Anastasia," he says. "Please."
"No, Shawn not today."
"I love you," he says.
"Yes you keep saying that but if you did love me you would understand that I am saying no."
"Do you love me?" he asks.
"I don't know a little bit but not enough to lose my virginity to you tonight. Good night, Shawn," I say as I get out of bed. I walk over to my bedroom door and open it for him. "Goodnight," I say again.
"All right," he says, "I'm leaving but Anastasia think about this and think about us. I want you so much and I love you. Please," he says. "I'll be gentle if that's what you're scared of."
I shake my head, "Shawn, I'm not scared of that. I'm just not sure I want to have sex with you and especially not tonight."
"Anastasia, what does that mean?" he asks.
"It means I have a lot of thinking to do, Goodnight, Shawn."
"Goodnight, Baby," he says as he leans down to kiss my lips but I turn my head so he lands his lips on my cheek. "So you're pissed at me."
"Goodnight," I say as I shut the door and roll my eyes. I walk back over to my bed and from all the emotions I have felt today I break down on my pillow as I think about everything that's happened today until I cry myself into a deep sleep.
*A/N: What did you think? Please Review and thank-you for reading!