On Her Own

Chapter 8

Rachel started jogging when she left the building, she was going to go to the woods. She was on her own. She let her thoughts fade away as she ran faster. It felt good to run.

When she came to the edge of the tree line, she slowed down a little. She followed the same route that Richard had when he carried her through the trees the other day.

She took her phone out of her bag and put it in her pocket before letting her backpack fall to the ground.

Reaching up she jumped and grabbed a branch, trying to climb onto it.

When Rachel had finally managed to get her feet onto the branch, she checked the time and started going up.

Thirty feet later, Rachel's phone rang in her pocket and it nearly caused her to fall out of the tree. Trying to get her breathing and balance under control, she accepted the call without saying anything.

"Rachel, where are you?" She could hear the fear in his voice.

"Rach, where are you? Are you all right?"

Taking a deep breath, she replied quietly. "I'm in the woods…"

She wasn't sure he had heard her until he sighed in relief on his end. "Stay put, I'll be there soon."

Sliding her phone back into her pocket, she decided that it was time to head down. She grabbed a branch and tried to lower herself so she could find a foot hold, but she only came across empty air.

Panicking, she looked down, the ground spun far below her. Putting two feet on one branch she sat down and waited with her back against the trunk. She kept sneaking looks at the ground and regretted it every time it spun below her.

Richard was jogging through the woods, scanning the area as he went.

This was one of the last places he had expected to find her.

Spotting her backpack at the base of a tree, he stopped and looked around.

"Rachel?"

Twig fell from above his head, looking up he saw her sitting on a branch, about forty feet up.

Richard climbed up and caught her gaze with a smile. "It's harder going down when you're alone, isn't it?"

She nodded.

"Come on, I'll guide you." She slowly got to her feet and started lowering herself to the ground, listening to Richards instructions.

When they both dropped to the ground, Richard wrapped his arms around her in a giant hug. "I waited for you outside your last class, your professor said you never showed up."

She didn't answer. She wasn't sure if he'd heard what people were saying and she didn't want to talk about it.

Stepping out of his arms she reached for her bag, only to have Richard throw it over his shoulder.

"Lets get back inside. It's getting cold." She nodded, taking his hand in hers as they walked back to the dorm.

Rachel stepped into his room silently, he had been watching her closely.

"Rachel? Will you talk to me?" She had expected him to sound mad or something along those lines. But he wasn't.

She took a seat on the edge of his bed and he came and sat next to her.

"I need you to tell me what Roy did the other day, you don't have to give me the details if you don't want to. But you need to tell me." He needed to know if Roy had raped her.

She pulled one of his hands into her lap and played with his fingers. "He hurt me…" Her voice was scratchy from lack of use.

"He's saying I cheated on you. But I didn't…" She wrapped both her hands around one of his.

"He got what he wanted this time?" Richard asked placing his other hand over hers. He couldn't think of any other way to ask it without really saying it.

She closed her eyes and nodded.

"I couldn't stop him, I tried…I tried…"

Richard leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her temple, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Why don't we go for a walk?"

"Why?" She asked nervously, wondering what he was planning.

"We need to tell someone about this."

She pulled away from him, she didn't want to tell anyone. Then she'd be a snitch. If she told. Roy would know how scared she was of him. She couldn't tell anyone. He would win. She had to do it on her own.

"No, we can't tell anyone. I have to handle this on my own. NO ONE can know about it!" Her voice was shrill. She was freaking out. She couldn't tell anyone. She had to do it on her own. She would deal with this on her own.

"Rachel," Richard said slowly.

Her eyes were wide with panic as she moved away from him, flattening herself against the headboard. She was shaking her head at him frantically.

"Rachel," He started again softly, slowly. They needed to tell someone but he didn't know how to get her to understand why.

"Roy hurt you. He never should have been able to do this in the first place. If we don't tell anyone about this he could do it again. He could do it to someone else. Do you want to let him hurt others like he did to you?"

He could see her trying to process what he had said, and that gave him hope.

"Can't you just talk to him instead?" The less people involved the better, was how she saw it.

"Rach, that won't be enough. He won't listen to me." Richard tried to move closer but she tried unsuccessfully to move backwards again since she was already against the headboard.

"I don't want everyone to know what he did to me! I thought you would be able to realize how much he hurt me." And with that she jumped off the bed and started for the door.

Richard put his hand against the door shutting it, just as she had managed to open it a crack.

She turned to face him and tried to glare, stepping back so her back was against the door.

He put one hand on each side of her head, trapping her where she was. "I do know how much he hurt you Rachel, that's why I want you to tell someone." He reigned in the frustration at how stubborn she was being. But he reminded himself, she was just scared, trying to protect herself.

"I don't want anyone else to know. Please, can you please just tell him to stay away from me? Please Richard!" She put her hands to her head, thinking it would keep her world from spinning out of control.

She looked at the floor before looking back at him. "Please, can you just tell him to stay away? If he doesn't listen…then I'll tell someone."

Richard finally nodded, and let his arms fall to his sides.

"Thank you Richard." He could feel her shaking as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I feel so dirty from him…"

Wrapping one arm around the small of her back, the other stroked her hair. "It's alright Rachel. I'll take care of it for you. I'll take care of you!"

He pulled back a bit and she looked up at him.

Leaning down, he kissed her softly. She tensed against him momentarily, but quickly relaxed again when one of his hands made its way under her shirt and rubbed circles against her cold skin.

When he pulled back, she buried her face against his chest. "He's telling everyone that I had sex with him, that I wanted it."

"Baby, I know. It's all right though." He placed a kiss on her head.

"A bunch of girls came up to me all excited today, thinking if they told me about you and Roy, that I'd go out with them. But you know what?"

She shook her head slowly without looking up at him.

"I told them that I'd go out with them, only after they were smarter and prettier than you." Rachel looked up at him, disbelievingly.

"Really?" He nodded, giving her a small smile as she buried her face in his shirt again.

A few hours later they were laying on Rachels bed in her room.

They were just laying together quietly, listening to music.

That quiet was disrupted when Toni came bustling in. "Hi guys."

Rachel stiffened, still irritated with her roommate.

Richard moved to sit up but Rachel placed a hand on his chest. "Don't go,"

"Rachel-"

"Please don't go." She interrupted quietly. She looked up at him, her eyes begging him to stay.

He sighed, and she almost smiled, knowing that he was going to let her have her way. "You know I don't like spending the night while Toni is here…but I'll give in tonight. Especially since I know you're still upset."

He laid back down and she curled up against him, resting her head on his chest. He trailed lazy circles along the bare skin of her arm.

After a few minutes he sat up. "I'm going to use the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Once he was gone Toni spoke. "Was he telling the truth? The other day? Was it really Roy?"

Rachel looked over at her, Toni was laying on her back staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah. It was Roy. This wasn't his first attempt either."

The were both quiet for a moment, looking at their own half of the ceiling. "He…Roy has done it to you before?"

Rachel shook her head, even though Toni couldn't see her. She couldn't keep her voice from shaking. "He's tried before, this-this is the first time he's actually…you know…"

Toni sat up and looked over at Rachel and they locked eyes just as Richard walked back in.

He glanced between the two girls, before laying back down with Rachel and wrapping his arms around her.

"Toni? You do believe me, don't you?" Rachel raised her head to look over her boyfriend at her roommate.

Toni nodded sadly. She didn't want to believe that one of her friends could do something like that.

Toni laid back down and rolled so she was looking at the wall.

Rachel laid her head back on Richards arm as his hand snaked up under her shirt, pulling her closer.

Rachel closed her eyes and listened to his breathing. She knew he was awake, listening to hers as well. "I love you Rachel."

His breath ghosted across her skin, and she shivered.

Their eyes glowed in the dark. "I love you too."

Wednesday morning Rachel was sitting in her english class, ignoring the looks Roy kept giving her.

Richard had promised to corner him after class and warn him to keep his distance. She was itching for her professor to dismiss them for the day.

She just wanted to get away from Roy.

When her professor set her free, Rachel practically ran out the door. She didn't have any other classes today, for which she was grateful.

She walked across campus, fighting the urge to run. She wanted to try something, she knew it would keep her mind busy if she could still do it.

She had been thinking about it all day, and had thrown some clothes in her backpack earlier that morning before she had left her room.

Richard was still in class, so she knew he wouldn't be worried anytime soon, figuring she would be in her room starting on her homework, like she usually did.

She stopped at a coffee shop on her way across campus for a hot drink and quick snack. With both things in hand she kept on walking, wondering why the campus had to be so big.

Walking into the building, she followed the signs to the girls locker room. Pulling her change of clothes out of her bag, Rachel prayed it would still fit her. It did, she realized excitedly. She hadn't put it on since her freshman year of high school.

Digging through her bag, she found her roll of medical tape and wrapped both her wrists.

She pulled her hair into a high pony and made her way to the door, with her bag in hand.

Passing a mirror, she paused.

The blue jeweled, long sleeved leotard still fit her perfectly. She smiled softly at her reflection and wished herself good luck, praying that she didn't regret this.

Pushing through the doors, she stopped and looked around, a glint in her eyes as she took in the uneven bars, balance beams, spring floor and vaulting tables. The sent of chalk dust filled the air, calming her like it always had.

Walking along the edge of the room, she put her backpack down and jogged over to the spring floor to warm up.