*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much*
"Ms. Bennett," says Mr. Ramos, our guidance counselor as I am sitting outside of his office waiting for my meeting with him. He greets me with a smile but I see the disappointment in his dark brown eyes as he looks at me. It's the same disappointment that was in his eyes the moment I told him I was having a baby. It's the same disappointment my father had in his eyes as well as a couple of the teachers I told the news to. The look of disappointment that tells me what they are thinking automatically Anastasia Bennett was such a good student but her life is over now. She will never go anywhere with a baby and being a teen mother. It's just the look that says it all.
"Hi," I say with a half-smile.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"I'm fine," I say as I stand up. "Are you ready for our appointment?"
"Yes," he says as he stands by the door holding it open for me as I pick up my Abercrombie bag filled with my books before I make my way past him. He's your typical guidance counselor. He's probably about 6'0 tall, bulky as if he played football in high school or college. His head freshly shaved and dark brown eyes like mine with his tan skin, "how are you today, Ms. Bennett?" he asks as he walks over to his desk as I am taking a seat at the chair in front of it.
"I'm okay," I say.
"Ana, is there something wrong?" he asks as he taps my file on his desk.
"No. I'm just thinking," I say. "So did you find any schools that I can go to as a mother?"
"Well, most schools do have students that are parents in them. It's not a forbidden fruit, Ana. It happens. You have grad students that are parents."
"But undergrads do they have undergrads that are parents?"
"In some schools, yes, it happens, Ana don't beat yourself up about it. Life happens you got pregnant and you're dealing with it the best way that you know how to. I know it's scary and you're scared but you have nothing to be worried or scared about. You can make it work."
"I hope so," I say.
"You can," he says with a reassuring smile. "What school are you looking into most for college?"
"UCLA and NYU," I say. "They both have an amazing writing program and I want to be a writer more than anything. It's just I don't know if being pregnant and being a mom I'll be able to get into school."
"They aren't looking at your personal life, Ana, as long as you're not involved in drugs, selling drugs, or violating the law in any way they aren't going to hold a teenage pregnancy against you. You're a good student, Ana, you have nothing to worry about. Your grades are practically straight A's. I haven't seen you fall below a 4.0 at all in high school. You have your dance as your extra-curricular activity. You're on the debate team and student council. You're a good student. You have a lot to be proud of. You're sitting at the top of your class right now and your attendance record is perfect. If they don't see you as a good student then they are idiots. You're an amazing student. Look, you made a choice, Ana, something happened but that doesn't change who you are. You're determined enough to do this and finish school. You're determined enough to want to go to college and make something of yourself. You're going to go far mother or not. Don't let this change you. It's okay to be scared but don't give up on your dreams."
"I don't want to give up on my dreams but how can I not? Mr. Ramos, this baby is going to change everything. It's going to distract me. It's going to make my grades drop."
"Ana, I don't think anything is going to drop your grades. You'll take a few weeks off in the fall after having the baby but you'll be doing your school work and you'll be on your way to college. I saw your practice SAT scores, Ana, they are the highest I've ever seen them. When you take the real ones in the fall I'm sure you can do even better. You can do this, Ana, and there are enough resources out there to help you."
"I guess," I say, "so you think I have a chance of getting into a good school even though I'll have a baby?"
"I'd say your chances are pretty good, Ana. Don't give up keep striving for the top."
"I will," I say with a smile. "Do you think it's possible for me next year to do some college courses?"
"I think it's possible. Is that what you would like to do?"
"Yes," I say, "I would like to do that. It would cut my college time down to 3 years right?"
"Yes it would. You would take your basic college courses like math, English and others. If that's what you want to do you're going to need to enroll in classes in the next week. I think that's a great choice."
"Me too," I say with a smile.
"And I got you some information on UCLA. They do have family housing for students with children. For undergrads it is about $765 a month and financial Aide can help you out with that. They also have a childcare facility for you to send your child to while you're in classes. You just need to make sure you register as soon as possible for childcare and for housing. Your life isn't over, Ana believe me. You're going to make it."
"So when would I go about applying for college?"
"I would start in the fall next year but I would also look into some safe schools. I am sure you are a very good candidate for UCLA but it's always good to have a backup school. NYU also offers the same type of family situation as well as childcare for students."
"That sounds wonderful," I say with a smile feeling better about knowing that I can still be a mom and go to college. It makes me happy to know that. "And if I go to a community college here to take my basic college courses would they have child care available for me to use?"
"Yes, Anastasia, but I gave Dean a few pamphlets and brochures about childcare in the area."
"I know we looked over them. I just want to send my baby to the best daycare that I can but daycare is expensive. I don't know how we are going to pay and I know often times as a student childcare facilities at colleges are cheaper than most."
"That's true too. That's something you can look into," he says. "I'm proud of you, Ana and I know at first you had some reservations about keeping this baby. Do you still feel like you made the wrong choice by keeping the baby?"
"I don't know yet," I say honestly. "I'm pretty scared but lately my dad has been helping Dean and me out with everything. He got us an apartment and is helping us pay the bills. I know I can't depend on my dad forever but I'm grateful for the help he's giving us. I won't know how I feel about keeping the baby till it's actually here."
"I understand, Ana," he says, "I just don't want you to feel like everything is over for you now because you're pregnant. It's not over. Like I told you, you're a smart girl. You are at the top of your class but the thing that's going to help you succeed most is your dedication and determination. I have to applaud you for wanting to keep going."
"Thank-you," I say with a smile.
"You're welcome, Ana," he says as I stand up as he stands with me.
"I'm going to go find, Dean now so we can go home. Have a good day, Mr. Ramos."
"You too," he says as he shakes my hand, "and by the way, Ana, whatever you're doing to Dean keep it up. Ever since you came into his life he has made great strides toward improvement. He's doing very well but I'm sure you already knew that."
"I knew that," I say, "and I'm not really doing anything but believing in him. That's all he's ever needed, Mr. Ramos, someone that believes in him and tells him he can do it."
"I don't disagree," he says, "Have a good day, Ms. Bennett."
"You too," I say with a smile before I walk out of the guidance counselor's office and make my way down the hall to find Dean so we can go to the baby store after school to look at some baby stuff. Dean and I decided we need to know what we're looking at price wise when it comes to having a baby.
I make my way down the hall when I see Shawn heading my way. I groan to myself as he spots me by waving to me. I want to turn the other way but I just don't have the energy to double back around. "Ana!" he says with a smile.
"Hi, Shawn," I say.
"What are you doing after school?" he asks.
"Dean and I have plans," I say.
"You and Dean? Are you still with that idiot?"
"He's not an idiot, Shawn, he's actually very smart in fact I think his grades are better than yours."
"That's impossible," he says as he follows me to my locker. "I miss you, Ana."
"I don't miss you, Shawn. Why do you keep trying you're not getting anywhere with me. I am with Dean and I love him."
"That's not going to last, Ana, you're going to want someone that's going to be able to provide for you and have a future."
"I think Dean does have a future," I say. "And you don't know anything about our relationship. I'm sure we're going to be tied together forever."
"Already talking about marriage?"
"No one said anything about marriage, Shawn," I say as I open my locker. "Look, can't you go harass someone else and leave me alone?"
"I just don't understand what you see in him," he says, "he's trash, Ana, he's a product of the streets. We're better than him."
"I see everything in him that you don't. He's not trash," I say. "And he may have been brought up on the streets but he's not trash. He's a good guy, Shawn. You don't know his story."
"Right," he says. "Just come back to me."
"You're desperate," I say with a laugh as I drop one of my books on the ground.
"I'm not desperate. I just miss you," he says as he bends over with me to pick up my book. He picks up my book about pregnancy and looks at it then looks at me. "Ana, you're pregnant?"
"Surprise," I say as I take the book from him.
"I thought you put on a little weight but I just thought it was because you were finally eating again after your eating disorder but pregnant?"
"Yes," I say. "I'm pregnant. Dean and I are having a baby."
"Way to screw up your life, Ana. That's pathetic."
"The best part about it is, Shawn, it's not yours so I won't have to deal with you for the rest of my life."
"The worst part is that it's Dean's," he says with a laugh. "You're just as pathetic as him now. I thought you were better than this."
"So now you don't miss me as much as you did huh?" I ask as I slam my locker shut.
"Well, I have lost some respect for you," he says. "You're pregnant, Ana."
"Yes, I am aware, Shawn. It happens. It happened there's nothing I can do to stop it now. And by the time we come back to school next year I'll be bigger than this and everyone is going to see and know. It's not a secret."
"But, Ana, you're better than this."
"Shawn, what are you trying to say?"
"I'm just saying that you look like a whore," he says as I hear Dean's voice as he appears behind Shawn.
"What did you call her?" he asks. "Did you just call her a whore?"
"She is a whore," he says turning around to face Dean and before he even sees it coming Dean's fist meets his mouth.
"DEAN!" I yell.
"Don't fucking talk about her like that," he says as Shawn holds onto his mouth. "She's not a whore. She's an amazing girl. She's not a whore."
"You destroyed her," says Shawn as he pushes Dean.
"Oh really?" asks Dean with a small laugh. "It's like that?" He says before he shoves him back into my locker. "If I ever hear you talk about her like that again I will destroy you." Dean has rage in his blue eyes, a rage I have never seen before as he holds Shawn by his polo up against the locker. "Got it."
"Fuck you," says Shawn as Dean lets him go and before I know it they are on the floor rolling around fighting with each other. Curse words mumbled in their grunts, fists flying and Dean is getting the upper hand. I never saw this side of him before but Dean is NOT the one to mess with. I don't know what Shawn was thinking by going after Dean he should know that Dean has some street smarts and could throw down when needed.
Punch after punch Dean connects to Shawn's face before Shawn tries to push him off of him but Dean knocks him back down onto the concrete floor. I don't know what to do and as they fight a crowd starts to gather and teachers come in to break it up but Dean is too strong. It finally takes 4 teachers to pull him off of Shawn and he still tries to fight Shawn as he tries to break free from their grasp. I look down at Shawn and realize it wasn't much of a fight. Dean will walk away with a scratch but Shawn isn't that lucky. "Both of you to the principal's office now," says one of the freshman teachers as he helps Shawn up from the ground. "You too," he says to me.
"I didn't do anything," I say.
"But you know what happened."
"I.. I…fine," I say as I follow them to the principal's office.
The principal talks to Dean first and then Shawn before he talks to me. He asks me about what happened and I don't want Dean to get in trouble but I have to tell him the truth. I told him how it all started from Shawn calling me a whore to Dean throwing the first punch. I wish I could have lied to protect Dean from getting into trouble but I can't lie it's just not in me. I walk out of the principal's office and look at Dean as he sits in the chair with the same rage filling his eyes but they soften as our eyes meet. I give him a soft smile as I make my way over to him. He stands up and wraps me up in his arms. "I'm sorry," I say.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, Baby," he says as he kisses my forehead. "It's okay. I'm going to take whatever punishment he wants to give me. NO one is going to call you a whore, NO ONE and not have me do anything about."
"I couldn't lie, I'm sorry," I say.
"It's okay, Ana," he says, "I don't want you to lie for me. I'm a big boy I can handle it."
"All right," I say as I wrap my arms around his waist. "I love you, Dean."
"I love you too," he says before he kisses my lips softly. I smile at him as he pulls away and places his hand on my stomach. "And I love our little Gummy Bear too."
"Me too," I say with a smile as the principal comes out of the office.
"Dean get in here," he says.
"First name basis with the big guy," he says with a smile before he kisses my lips softly before he struts into the principal's office. His bad boy side is such a turn on. I love his sweet soft side but it was his bad boy side that attracted me to him. Sometimes when he doesn't give a shit and he gets cocky he's the hottest. I take a seat in the chair next to Shawn as he holds an ice pack on his face.
"Wow," I say, "I bet now you'll think twice about running your mouth, huh?"
"Shut up, Ana," he says, "You two are perfect for each other. Trash, trash belongs with trash. I can do better than you."
"Okay," I say shrugging my shoulders. "If that's how you feel more power to you. I found the one that I want," I say with a smile. "He stood up for me and that meant more to me than anything and we're having a baby together."
"Pathetic, Ana," he says as he groans.
"It hurts doesn't' it?"
"What are you talking about?" he asks.
"Getting your ass kicked huh? What were you thinking?"
"Shut up, Ana," he says. "Just shut up." I let out a small chuckle and roll my eyes.
I nearly jump out of my seat as Dean storms out of the principal's office. "FUCK THIS SCHOOL AND FUCK YOU!" he yells as he throws both middle fingers up in the air at the principal.
"Dean Ambrose," he says, "do you want to be expelled?"
"Expel me," he says, "I quit. I fucking quit."
"If that's what you want, Dean," he says.
"Dean," I say as I stand up and walk over to him. "Don't do this. What's wrong?"
"I don't want to be in this school, Ana," he says, "he is trying to suspend me but told me if my mom comes to see him he could change his mind."
"What?" I ask.
"He wants my mom to play the trick that she is with him so that I don't get suspended well fuck that, Ana."
"Are you kidding me?" I ask as we walk to a corner to talk privately. "Look, he's an asshole," I say, "I'm not going to deny that but Dean think about it. You have a chance here. You have a chance to graduate and go to college. Don't throw it all away because of a prick," I say. "Just calm down and think about this. Don't do anything you're going to regret."
"Ana, I can't do it. Everyone in this school looks down on me because of my mom and what she does. Everyone knows it. Everyone knows my mom is a whore. They all know it and they treat me like the scum of the Earth because of it. I don't want to be in a school where the principal wants my mom to pull tricks for him to keep me from being suspended. It's bullshit," he says as I see the tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry I'm a fuck up, Ana. I'm sorry," he says.
"Dean, you're not a fuck up. I think I would be pretty pissed too if someone asked me if my mom could pull tricks to keep me from being suspended. Dean, they look down on you because they don't know you. They don't anything about you. They don't see you like I see you. They don't know what's in here," I say as I touch his heart. "They don't know you like I do. They can look down on you all they want but walking out of those doors and walking out of this school is only going to prove to them what they have always thought about you. They will be right, Dean, and you'll be wrong. Don't give them the satisfaction of reveling in you walking out of school and giving up everything. Look at your grades now, Dean," I say as I wipe a tear from his cheek. "You're doing well. NO one thought you could do it but I knew you could do it. I know what you can do, Dean. I know you're smart and I know you're better than what every one of these assholes in this school give you credit for. If not for me and not for you do it for Gummy Bear, stay in school for him or her. You walking out those doors and never coming back is only hurting you. You'll be the only one losing. You can do this, Baby," I say as I look into his blue eyes. I see the sadness in them. "I know you can do this. Show them, Dean, show them they are wrong about you. Show them that you are better than what they think of you. Show them you're better than the streets. Show them they aren't right. You can do this, Baby. I know that you can. You just have to believe in yourself. Don't let what people think about you destroy you. Don't let them tear you apart. Don't let them push you away. Don't give them the satisfaction. Show them, Dean that you can stay in school. Please, Baby," I say. "Please."
"Ana," he says as he wraps me up in his arms holding me tightly. "You're the only one in this world that gives a shit about me," he whispers in my ear before he kisses my temple. "I love you for that."
"I'm not the only one," I say wrapping my arms around his neck. "Gummy bear is going to give a shit about you too. I love you."
"I love you too," he says as I feel his wet tears on my shirt as I feel my own tears burn my eyes as I start to cry on his shoulder. "Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?"
"No," I say, "I am crying because I love you so much it hurts. I don't know what else to do but cry and these hormones they have me a hot mess. Are you going to stay in school?"
"Yeah," he says. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll take my 5 day suspension but I'm coming back to show these assholes I am better than they believe."
"I knew you would," I say with a smile before I kiss his lips softly.
*A/N: What did you think of Ana talking to the guidance counselor? Do you believe she has a good chance of gettig into UCLA? Do you feel she needs someone to believe in her just as much as Dean does? What did you think of Shawn harassing her in the hallway? Did he deserve what Dean did to him? What about the principal? What did you think of Ana's speech for Dean to stay in school? Is she right? What about her loving him so much it hurts and brings her to tears? Do you think that she didn't know she could love someone that much? Please review and thank-you for reading.