*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. THey were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much!*
After letting Dean sit in jail for the night I decided to call the prison to get some information on his bail and see if I could bail him out. I really rather not bail him out because I believe him sitting in jail is better than being out on the streets selling drugs or hanging out with his druggie friends. Being in jail may be the best thing for him but we have stuff to talk about and as long as he is sitting in jail we aren't talking. They give me information on him and tell me his bail has been set at $2500 which seems like a lot but after I get off the phone with them I head to the bank to get the money from my bank account that I have saved specifically for college expenses. Dean is going to pay that money back to me.
Arriving at the prison I have to show them my ID before they allow me onto the premises and direct me on where to park. I park my car in the visitor's parking lot before I make my way into the prison. They buzz me in and I walk up to the woman sitting at the desk. "Hello," I say.
"How can I help you?" she asks.
"I'm here to get my friend out of jail," I say.
"Name?"
"Dean Ambrose," I say.
"Thank-you," she says before she types something in on the computer. "Can I see your ID please?"
"Yes," I say as I hand her my ID.
"Okay," she says as she looks at my ID. "It says here that you are under the age of 18 which means legally you are unable to bail him out of jail. I'm sorry. If you want to bail him out you need to have someone over the age of 18 with you to do so."
"I can't do it even though I am going to be 18 in a few months?" I ask.
"I'm sorry, the law is the law. If you want to bail him out you need to get someone 18 or over to come down here to be with you. I can't let you bail him out at 17 years old."
"All right," I say, "Thanks," I say before I pull out my cell phone. I never even thought about having to be 18 to get Dean out of jail. I was trying to keep this from my dad because I know once he finds out about Dean he's going to be upset and make him leave our apartment but I don't want that. The last thing Dean needs is to be put out on the streets. I decide to bypass my dad and calling him for help so I decided on calling Tara and luckily she agreed to meet me down here to help me get him out of jail.
After waiting a half hour Tara arrives and we begin the process again. She needs to fill out all the paperwork stating that if Dean runs or breaks the law she will be held responsible. It was great of her to come to the rescue even though Dean turned down her services to be our nanny when Natalia is born. Once the paperwork is filled out and they have the money we wait a little while longer before they finally release Dean to me. He comes out with a smile on his face. "Thanks, Ana," he says as he walks over to hug me and give me a kiss.
"Don't," I say stopping him. "What you did was stupid. And don't thank me, thank Tara she came down here to help me out. I couldn't do it because I am only 17 years old. You're lucky, Dean."
"Thanks, Tara," he says as he looks at her.
"You're welcome, Dean, I hope that you get your act together," she says.
"I will," he says, "I screwed up."
"More than you'll ever know," I say as he goes through his personal belongings. "Are you good to go now?"
"Yes," he says, "I'm good to go."
"All right," I say before I thank Tara one more time for her help before Dean and I get into my car to go back to my apartment.
The car ride back to the apartment is done in silence. I have nothing to say to him until we get home. I don't want to have the talk in the car it wouldn't be right. He tries to take my hand a couple times on the ride home but I pull my hand away each time. I don't want him trying to suck up to me by his sweet gestures. What he did yesterday was wrong if he had been at the cardiologist like he was supposed to be he wouldn't have ended up in jail. I pull into our parking space at our building and get out of the car walking to the door inches ahead of Dean as he tries to keep up with me. I walk into the front door of our building and take the elevator up to our floor as Dean follows me onto the elevator. He stands in one corner while I stand in the other. The awkward tension fills the air around us as we wait to reach our floor. The doors open and I walk out before Dean as he follows behind me in our awkward silence. I open the door to our apartment and let him in before I shut the door locking it. "Ana," he says as I toss my keys onto the table next to the door. "I'm sorry."
"You should be," I say. "What were you thinking?" I ask as we make our way to the living room.
"I wasn't thinking. I was being stupid, Ana and I am sorry."
"I told you about selling drugs didn't I? I told you that it could get you into trouble but you acted like you were invincible. It's funny because you didn't want anything to do with me for the last couple weeks but when you get arrested I am the first person you call and you tell me that you needed me? I needed you yesterday," I say. "You're being selfish and stupid. Why would you say you don't want to be a father? I thought you loved Natalia?"
"I do love her," he says as we sit on the couch. "I love her a lot. I'm just scared, Ana. I've never been a dad before. Everything was happening so fast. My life changed so quickly," he says.
"And my life didn't? My life changed just as fast as yours and I'm scared too. I've never been a parent before. I never had a baby but I'm dealing with it. I'm doing what I can to be a good mom but you're out on the streets selling drugs, getting drunk and high but you act like it's no big deal. You chose to sell drugs, get high and drunk instead of coming to find out what we were having. That hurt, Dean, then you tell me I deserve better than you and just leave us after you promised me you would never leave me just like I promised you I would never leave you."
"Ana, don't you see it? I am a screw up. I don't have myself together to be a father."
"But you were on the right track, you were going to school, you brought up your grades and you were going to college. Or had a chance to go to college then all of a sudden you called yourself a screw up. You're not a screw up, Dean, you need help."
"Maybe I do need help," he says, "but you still deserve better than me. Look at me. Look at all the trouble I'm causing. You don't need that in your life."
"But you're the father of my child you're always going to be in my life. You're always going to be in her life. I don't care what happens with us, Dean but you are not going to abandon her. You know what it was like to grow up without a father in your life don't do the same to our little girl."
"She's better off without me."
"She doesn't even know you, Dean. I don't understand you. I really don't. First you're happy about being a daddy and you want to be a good daddy then you're running scared. I don't get it, Dean. You're not the only one that's scared here."
"I'm sorry, Ana running probably wasn't the way to go but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know how I am supposed to handle this. It's just a lot you know."
"Dean, you act like you're the only one with these feelings. Don't make excuses for your stupid behavior. You promised me you were done with the drugs and drinking then you show up here high and drunk. Then you're so secretive about your job that even after I asked you if it had to do with drugs you lied straight to my face and told me no then I find them in your bag with all that money. How am I supposed to feel? I'm scared too. I don't' know what I'm doing either but instead of running away from my problems I am facing them. It's not only hard on you, Dean. I gave up so much to be a mother. I'm only 17 years old just like you. I'm scared too but I can't do it alone. I need you to be here with me and help me through this. If you're scared you talk about it. We talk about it together we don't go running to drugs or run away we talk. How do you think we will ever work out if you can't even talk to me about how you feel?"
"I don't know," he says, "Is there an us?"
"Not right now," I say, "you need to prove to me that you're willing to change and get the help that you need. I'm not going to keep you out of Natalia's life. She needs you just as much as you need her but as for you and I," I say. "I can't be with someone that's not willing to change or someone that lied to me. Dean, I thought you were changing. You were doing so well and then out of the blue you were back on the streets. Then you gave up school? You didn't go to finals."
"I know," he says, "that was a dumb move," he says, "I can't change that but I don't think I am going back to school."
"Why? Why give up on school when you're so close to being done?"
"I don't know," he says.
"You're going to need to do better than that. I don't care what anyone says, Dean, you're a great guy when you want to be. You're going to be a great father. I know you're scared and I am scared too but what you did was the dumbest move you could have made. I'm not going to tell you how disappointed I am in you but I am going to tell you that I know you can do better than this and you're capable of doing better."
"I know," he says, "I'm going to change. I'm not going anywhere, Ana. I'm going to be here for Natalia every step of the way. I'm scared but I'm going to deal with it. I don't know what I'm doing but I'm going to do my best to be a good father. Please just be patient with me."
"I would say I am being pretty patient with you after being stood up twice at important appointments so that you could go out and sell drugs. What happened there?"
"I was selling drugs and an undercover cop got me. I panicked and I ran. He caught me with drugs on me and in my bag. It is possible I can go to jail because of this."
I shake my head. "Dean, I just don't know what to say. I warned you what could happen if you sold drugs. I told you that you could end up in jail. What about Natalia? What am I supposed to do without you here?"
"I don't know," he says, "I need a lawyer but I don't have money for a lawyer. They'll give me some state attorney that won't give a shit."
"I will talk to Shawn's mom," I say, "she's a lawyer she might be willing to help you for free but I don't know. You may not be her son's favorite person after you beat him up at school but I'll try."
"Thanks" he says, "I am really sorry about all of this, Ana and I understand that you don't want to be together. I get it but I will be here for Natalia I promise."
"It's not okay but I accept your apology. You were smarter than this, Dean. You didn't have to do this now what? If you go to jail you could miss the birth of our baby not to mention the fact that you would miss some of her life. You know the penalties."
"I know," he says, "I'm going to try to take a deal maybe get less time in jail if any but that's up to my lawyer."
"And you keep saying you're going to be here for Natalia but where were you when I went for my anatomy scan and where were you when I went to the cardiologist yesterday? You were being a selfish asshole, Dean, it's not just about you anymore. There is an innocent baby that needs their daddy. You tell me one thing but do another. I needed you yesterday but you weren't there do you know how hard that was?"
"I'm sorry, Ana, I should have been there you're right. I was being a selfish asshole. I just felt like being away would be the best thing for both of you."
"I don't think that's true. Natalia at least needs you."
"I'm sorry. I should have been there. I know I can say sorry and it isn't going to change the fact that I wasn't there. I was being selfish. How did the appointment go? I really do care, Ana."
"It went okay," I say. I can't be upset with him forever. It's not worth the stress on Natalia or myself and he needs to know what the cardiologist said about her heart. I am upset but if I want to move on past this, give him the chance to prove he is going to change and be the father he keeps saying he is going to be I have to give him the chance and not push him away. Dean is sensitive. I don't want to push him away. I want him to prove to me he is serious about being a dad and changing.
"What did they say about her heart?" he asks with concern in his voice. "is it okay or did they find something?"
"They found a hole in her heart," I say as I look into his blue eyes. "They said it is a sizable hole. They are hoping that it closes up on its own before she's born which is the best case scenario."
"And if it doesn't?" he asks with even more concern. "Is she going to be okay?"
"If it doesn't they are going to do some tests on her after she's born to get more information about it. If it looks like it is decreasing and will close up on its own we should be all right but if they feel there is no chance of it closing up on its own then she will need to have open heart surgery to get it closed up."
"Open heart surgery?" he asks as his eyes fill with tears. "Isn't that serious?"
"On all accounts yes but with technology these days it can be successful I just don't like the idea of our baby girl having open heart surgery."
"And there isn't another way to fix the hole? Does the hole have to be fixed?"
"I'm sure we will find out our options when the time comes but I'm pretty sure that open heart surgery is the only way it can be fixed. The cardiologist said it looks like it is ventricular septal defect which will cause too much blood to get into her lungs. I just need to make sure you're there if it comes to this."
"Ana, I will always be there for her no matter what."
"Okay," I say, "I'm scared. I hope it closes on its own if not I don't know how I feel about the whole idea. I'm scared. I was scared of having a baby this young but now with a heart problem on top of it I'm scared to death and I need you to be here."
"I will be," he says, "we'll get through this no matter what happens we are going to get through this. I feel like the biggest asshole in the world. I can't even imagine how scared you were to get that news yesterday and there I was being a selfish jerk trying to earn money. It was a stupid way to make money but making all that money was easy. Natalia was getting everything she needed."
"Except her daddy wasn't there and now you may be going to jail and who knows what's going to happen now."
"I'm sorry, Ana."
"All right," I say.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No," I say, "I want you to stay. The last thing you need is to be out on the streets. You can sleep on the couch."
"Fair enough," he says. "I missed you."
"Dean, right now is not the time to tell me you missed me or to tell me that you love me. You ignored every one of my phone calls. I don't want to get into it because what happened between us isn't important to me. What matters is that you're here for our daughter."
"I always will be no matter what happens between us."
"Okay," I say, "I'm going to go talk to Shawn's mom and see if she is willing to help you out. If not I don't know what you're going to do."
"Get a state attorney," he says before I get up and walk out of the room to call Shawn's mom. I'm not sure what's going to happen with Dean and I but what I do know is I still love him, love him enough to see him change his ways. I love him enough to stand by his side no matter what but right now we just can't be together until I know he has his entire act together.
TWO DAYS LATER:
Ana managed to talk to Shawn's mom to get her to help me out with my upcoming court hearing for my drug arrests in a month, I don't like her son but I am glad she's willing to help me for free. I had no way of paying for a lawyer to help me with the case. Ana and I are sitting in the waiting room waiting to meet with his mom. I can't lie and say I'm not nervous. I am scared to death of this entire thing. If I go to jail I could very well miss out on the birth of my baby girl and miss out on some of her life. That's the last thing I want to happen but I made a mistake and I have to pay the consequences of my actions. If I go hopefully I'm not gone long. "Hello, Ana," says a woman dressed in a black dress outfit.
"Hi," she says, "This is Dean."
"Hello, Dean," she says with a smile. Shawn looks exactly like his mom it is almost sickening. "I'm ready for you."
"Thanks," I say with a smile as I stand up. I shake her hand before we walk into her office.
"So," she says after we take a seat. "I see you got into some trouble with the law. You were selling drugs and were in possession of a high amount of drugs. Your possession alone could get you up to 2 ½ years in prison but the fact you were drug trafficking you could be in jail for at least 3 years and have a nice fine to pay not to mention resisting arrest."
"I could go away for 3 years? I would miss my daughter's life."
"Yes you could," she says, "if they charge you as an adult but since you're 17 years old they could charge you as a minor."
"What if they charge me as a minor then what? What would happen to me?"
"They would send you to a juvenile detention center. You could end up there for 18 months at most but it is up to them if they want to charge you as a juvenile or an adult. You had a lot of drugs on you and they could charge you as an adult."
"What if I wanted to make a deal? I want to take a deal."
"You could make a deal what are you looking at for a deal?"
"Pleading guilty on all counts for a lesser jail sentence at least 3-6 months in jail," I say. "Do you think that could work?"
"I'm sure we could make a deal. Is that what you really want to do?"
"It is," I say, "I really want to make a deal. If it can get me less jail time then cool. I am about to have a baby and I don't want to miss anything of her life."
"I will see what I can do. I can't promise anything but how about along with the deal we say you plead guilty on all counts, 3-6 months in jail maybe 3 months in jail, 3 months on parole and attending a narcotic meeting?"
"Whatever it takes for me to get less time in jail. I will do anything."
"All right, I will do what I can," she says with a smile. "And hopefully we can get you into a juvenile detention center as opposed to being in a regular prison."
"I hope so," I say. "Thank-you for helping me out."
"It's my pleasure. Ana is a good friend of mine and I love Ana. I wanted to help her out."
"Well, thank-you," I say with a smile.
After our meeting with Shawn's mom Ana and I walk out to her car as I get into the driver's seat next to her I hear her sob. "What's wrong?" I ask her before I start the car.
"What if they don't take the deal and you end up in jail for 18 months to 3 years, Dean? You will miss 3 years of Natalia's life. Do you know how much you'll miss?"
"Look, I'm hoping they take the deal. It's a drug charge not a murder charge not to mention this is my first offense they are usually easier with the first offense. So hopefully they will take the deal and I'll be gone 6 months at the most."
"That's still a lot," she says. "I don't want to do it all without you. I don't want you to miss out on Natalia's first couple months either."
"I don't want to miss out either but I have to do what I have to do. If it comes to me going away for 6 months or 3 years we will work it out. You can send me pictures of her, write me letters and bring her to visit me. I want nothing more than to be there for her. That's what I really want. I promise, Ana, after all this I am going to do better. The drug meetings are going to help me too. I need to get some type of help that way and I can find a good job. I won't go back to school but I am going to work. I'm going to do the right thing here. I'm going to be a good daddy and I'm going to do my best. I know I screwed up, Ana but I'm going to fix this. We're going to be okay."
"Do you promise?"
"I promise," I say as I go to kiss her but she pulls away. "Sorry."
"It's fine," she says, "I just don't want you to miss a thing."
"I'm trying," I say. "I'm trying."
*A/N: Are you glad that Ana bailed Dean out of jail? What about her interaction with him did she have the right to be upset with him? What do you think about her not taking him back as her boyfriend? Is that a good choice? What do you think of Shawn's mom helping Dean? Do you think they will accept his deal? What do you think will happen if he goes to jail for almost 3 years? Do you think Dean is going to keep his promise to be there for Natalia no matter what happens with him and Ana? Please review and thank-you for reading.