A/N: I know this is a really short chapter, but I'm going away for a week and I just wanted to get this out there. Happy Pre-Valentine's Day everyone!
...
Be Mine
Draco cracked open his eyes slowly. His whole body throbbed with pervasive heat. Maybe he had a fever? Black hair tickled his nose. A smile stretched his mouth before he could think about it, and he pulled Shadow's thin body closer to his own protectively. A moment later, he went stiff, his eyes wide as he remembered the night before.
Shit! he thought furiously, heart knocking against his ribs.
Shadow's eyes fluttered open, revealing crystal blue and clear lime green.
Instantly, Draco decided to brazen it out. He smiled, and said, "Hey, how are you feeling?"
There was no response for a moment. Shadow just watched him. Draco felt sweat bead his brow and his face strain to hide his anxiousness. Shadow couldn't know. Draco would do anything to keep him from knowing what he'd been reduced to. Shame burned the back of his throat like acid. He was about to say something else when he finally spoke.
"Draco, I've merged with all my alters. I am Seraphim. Just as Padfoot is Sirius."
He jumped from the bed, jostling Shadow roughly, and blood stain his cheeks a hot crimson as he realized he was naked. Yanking the closet door open, he jerked on some slacks. He felt so disgusting, and he hated that Shadow was staring. The two-colored eyes scorched his skin.
"My uncle hit me around, but it didn't get real bad until he realized I'd heal overnight no matter what he did to me. I didn't understand, of course, not as Boy, that I was practically encouraging him to use me to take his frustrations out on. His sadistic streak got wider and wider, and he began to experiment, knowing he could and not suffer the consequences of a broken or dead body the next morning. In that way, I was almost his accomplice. It makes me feel so fucking dirty, knowing what was done to me by that man and others. What I allowed to happen. I know about helplessness, Draco, in all its many forms."
Draco felt himself turn around, his attention captivated by the petite man sitting up in the bed. Shadow's expression was carefully neutral, but his eyes betrayed his pain.
"I didn't want to remember. I really didn't…" He took a deep breath and dropped his eyes to his hands fisted in his lap. "But Voldemort was going to win, even against Seraphim's power. I couldn't think! I needed to be Shadow, too. So I merged. All this time, I've been trapped in my memories, living them all over again, and this time having to face them with my mind whole." He shook his head hard, reminding himself he did have a point, and raised his eyes again. "You've been suffering while I was lost in myself. I wasn't there for you when you needed me, even though you've always been there for me when I needed you."
"Shadow…" Draco tried to interrupt, taking a step forward.
"No! This needs to be said. You always get hurt in your efforts to help me. You killed for me when you were only fourteen years old, Draco. You renounced your father, left your mother… You helped me when I was insane and put up with my stupid jealousy over your relationship with Seraphim. I should have been on my knees in gratitude that you cared about my damaged alters. What did I do instead? I gave you hell. You didn't deserve it, Draco. None of it. I mean, you're a Slytherin for God's sake! What did you get out of this?"
Shadow rose from the bed, still in the pajama bottoms from last night. His legs were stronger, the atrophy gone, but they were still weak from not being used in three years. He grabbed the headboard, his knuckles turning white. His whole body shook with emotion, unshed tears making his eyes bright and glassy.
Draco thought he was gorgeous. It took everything he had not to move forward and support him. He knew he wouldn't be accepted right now. Besides, his head was reeling from everything he was hearing.
"I'll tell you what you got in return. You got a dreadful disease and were rejected by the Wizarding world, your dreams of power and prestige all gone. Worse, you got a weak lover and a horrible best friend."
"You are not weak," Draco growled. He stalked forward and grabbed Shadow's jaw, glaring down into his eyes. "You are the strongest, most…"
"Draco, shut up," Shadow drawled, a smile peaking out the corner of his lips. "The point is, do you really think I'd hold it against you that you had to sleep with other people to survive? Do you think I'd rather see you dead? Hell no! I don't care what it takes or what you do if it's to save your life. I…" Tears finally spilled over. The warm liquid hit Draco's thumb on one side, his fingers on the other. "I wouldn't know what to do without you, Draco."
"Shhh." Draco smoothed the tears away. He pulled his lover's trembling body into his, helping to support his too light weight. He brushed a tender kiss on Shadow's forehead. "I've got you."
"Well, last night, I had you," he answered softly as his arms came up to wrap around Draco's waist. They stood there like that until his trembling lessened. Gently, he pushed Draco away and looked up into his love's eyes, more serious than he'd ever been in his life. "I know I'm still a mess. I still have a lot of things to work out, but…"
Draco frowned in confusion as Shadow gripped his forearms and lowered himself to his knees. Shadow grinned up at him, just taking his lover in. His hair was mussed, the silky tresses curling around his ears and up around his strong jaw. He looked older than Shadow last remembered him. He was taller, but he hadn't lost the lean athletic build he was so familiar with. He was beautiful, and Shadow loved him with all his heart.
"Will you marry me?"
Draco's mouth fell open in utter shock. "Merlin," he breathed dumbly, completely unable to say anything else. This couldn't be happening! This was a dream, and he'd wake up aching and hard as he had a hundred mornings before.
Shadow's heart was rocketing in his chest. Had he not made himself clear? Did he do it wrong? What if Draco said no? Maybe wizards couldn't get married. Why hadn't he thought this through? Maybe Draco was planning on leaving once he woke, his duty done? Now he was pressuring the blond to stay. He dropped his head, ashamed he hadn't thought of all the implications of this. He just knew he wanted Draco with him always. How selfish was that?
"I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything. I understand." He released Draco's arms and used the bed to leverage himself up. He sat heavily, his legs aching. "You've given me more than anyone could rightfully ask for. It was horrible of me to ask for more."
Draco dropped to his knees and grabbed Shadow's hands. "No, love. I'm just shocked. It never occurred to me that you would forgive me, that you'd still want me."
"There's nothing to forgive." Shadow glared angrily. "Aren't you listening to me? You have nothing to be ashamed of."
"I do," Draco argued, "but that's beside the point. I love you, Shadow. Your answer is yes. I would love to be your husband."
Shadow's eyes widened in joyful surprise. His magic rose up within him and poured down their clasped hands.
Draco accepted the magical claiming with a smile, and asked in return, "Will you be mine?"
Shadow laughed, his face shinning with love and excitement. "Of course, idiot. Why else would I ask you?"
Draco kissed him, his own magic rushing out to claim the man before him. Now they were both claimed by the other. A formal ceremony would complete the life-time bond.
Their mouths were hungry and needy; lips sliding, tongues battling. Fingers curled into hair and grasped onto warm skin. Draco pressed forward until Shadow fell backward onto the bed. Both of them were topless.
Shadow gasped as their chests slid against each other, shooting erotic bursts through their bodies as their nipples were teased. His hands slid down Draco's muscled back, thrilling in the silky feel of his skin, the ridges of his ribs, the knots of his spine. It felt incredible. Sweat dewed his face from their body heat. Practically mewling, he wrapped his legs around Draco and thrust his hips up.
"Love you," Draco groaned, pressing down to give Shadow the friction he needed.
He kissed along his lover's angular jaw, feeling fine stubble. His hips rocked steadily, and he thrilled in the delicious pressure, letting it build. Shadow tossed his head to the side, his eyes glazed, moans and needy gasps filling the short space between them. Draco's mouth found his ear. He sucked on the lobe, tonguing it before biting gently. Shadow gasped loudly, nails scratching at his lover's back and shoulders.
Draco growled and quickened his pace, thrusting against the hard body under him. His lips followed down the pale neck, sucking and nipping. Sweat stung his eyes, thoughts melted away until all that was left was the pleasure between them. It was nothing like the nights he spent with faceless bodies. It was so much more. He felt like he was coming apart at the seems, while at the same time he was focused completely on adoring the body under his. He wanted this, he needed it.
His mouth came to the juncture between Shadow's neck and shoulder and he bit down, trembling on the edge of orgasm.
Shadow came with an uninhibited yell of pure pleasure. His whole body arched up into his lovers, molding himself to every curve. Stars exploded behind his eyes, and he fought to stay conscious as waves of ecstasy washed through him. He was hardly aware of Draco shouting out, his solid body going limp and curling around Shadow's own.
Their panting breaths filled their ears as they slowly came back to earth. Shadow had never felt so content. The peace was broken, however, when Draco sat up, wild-eyed.
He grabbed Shadow and hurriedly turned his head to the side so he could see his shoulder. A lovely bruise was forming, but the skin was unbroken. He his legs gave out in relief and he found himself kneeling on the floor, his forehead pressed against he bed. His shoulders shook in the aftermath of his terror.
Shadow sat up and gently stroked the fine blond hair. "Hey, it's okay. I think I did something when I tired to heal you last night. I don't think you're the same as you were." Draco lifted his head. The desperate hope there brought tears Shadow's his eyes. "Besides, you'd never hurt me, love. I know that. So should you."
Draco pulled his lover closer, inserting himself between Shadow's legs. He wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his stomach with trembling lips. Shadow tangled his hand in his lover's hair, lifting his head as he bent down. Swollen lips met, moist tongues twining together in an erotic dance, making both of them shiver.
Without ending their kiss, Draco pushed up on his knees and began to undo his pants. Shadow fumbled for his own buttons, mind filled with cotton, body throbbing with desire, chest tight with joy. Draco shimmied out of his pants and began to press him back down on the bed just as the bedroom door opened without warning. He lifted his head with glowing silver eyes and stared at the intruder with a warning growl.
Severus stood frozen. The glowing eyes attested to Draco sliding into a more vampiric state. Was Draco feeding on his son?
Shadow groaned as he felt his lover's hot erection pushing into his hip, skin to skin. His own pants were bunched around his thighs. The smell of their last orgasm filled the air with a musky tangy scent that went straight to his groin, making him groan. He was so enraptured with everything flooding his senses that it took him several moments to realize Draco had stopped and was looking off to the side.
He turned his head, still breathless and rocking slightly against his lover. Black eyes glanced down into his own and his passion was doused instantly. Shadow stiffened, hunching his body under Draco's, trying to cover them both up, as he pulled frantically for the blankets.
As Shadow scrambled under the covers, Draco stood unashamedly, casually buttoning his pants. "Knock next time."
Severus felt his cheeks heat up and only years of self-restraint kept his voice even as he responded, "Lupin would like to check on you both. Perhaps in the dueling room."
"Okay," Shadow answered meekly, unable to meet his father's eyes.
Severus turned and left without another word. His mind was in turmoil, so it was no surprise that he headed toward the parlor and his decanter of whisky. He passed Remus in the hall.
"They'll meet you in the dueling room."
Remus tilted his head in confusion. Usually he checked on the boys in the bedroom.
Severus didn't bother explaining. He made it downstairs in record time, his leg no longer troubling him. This thought reminded him of the night before. He had feared Shadow's mind had split again but knew instantly that wasn't the case when Seraphim's eyes lit up with warmth at seeing him. Now that he thought about it, there were quite a few differences between Seraphim of old and the one he'd met last night.
Seraphim was now smaller, his features more human. There'd been no evidence of a werewolf, even though he remembered animalistic characteristics like sharper teeth and slit pupils. His skin was adorned with tribal animal images, which on further reflection Severus realized were the animagus forms of Shadow's alters.
The humanlike creature had stood still under his scrutiny. When Severus had realized they'd been standing outside the front door for several moments, he quickly moved to let his son pass. Seraphim's eyes had caught on his prominent limp. Instead of going to the door, he'd moved to Severus. A white wing had extended, the feathers gently caressing his leg.
Severus occasionally remembered the sensation in his dreams. He'd thought it was something he had imagined when he lay close to death, but the euphoria and peace washed through him like a familiar drug. He'd gasped, his back hitting the side of the house as he staggered back. When the consuming sensation lifted a bit, he'd looked up to see Seraphim smiling at him. The creature had bowed his head slightly and went inside with his burden.
Shaking off the memories, Severus went to the window on two perfect legs and looked out at the night, whisky burning his throat and filling his belly with heat. Shadow was very powerful and his abilities were extraordinary. It made one hesitate before considering how to handle him.
Maybe Severus was no longer needed. After all, he hadn't been able to awaken Shadow, nor had he been any help in the last battle. He'd helped Shadow manage his Dissociative Identity Disorder, but it was clear that he no longer suffered from that. Neither Draco nor Shadow were children. Maybe it was time to step back.
"You're so sad. Is it because of what you saw?"
Severus turned to see Shadow leaning in the doorway. "Should you be up and about?"
"Yes. I, ah, could access my White magic in my Animagus form without the worry of being overwhelmed. It healed my atrophy, but, um, it couldn't give me strength. Using my muscles will do that., so I'm, um, supposed to walk around and, ah, exercise as much as possible."
Severus blinked. "Are you well? Where is Draco?"
"Remus is trying to figure out what exactly my, um, magic did to him in an attempt to cure him."
"Attempt?" He'd never heard of anything the White magic couldn't heal.
"Well, it didn't feel like anything I've ever felt before." Shadow wrung his hands, disappointed he hadn't been able to heal Draco completely and also nervous that Severus would be equally let down by his failure. Draco's state was Shadow's fault after all. "I fixed it as best I could, but I don't think I returned him back to human."
"Shadow, sit down." Severus moved forward and gestured at the couch. He, himself, settled into the chair across from it.
They shared a smile, both remembering all the hours they'd spent in just these positions during Shadow's therapy sessions. Silence settled around them, but instead of it being comfortable, tension steadily built. Worried, Severus quickly blanked his thoughts and stilled his emotions.
"Is something the matter?" he asked casually.
Shadow ducked his head, curls falling around his eyes. "I'm sorry for what you saw. I hope you're not too upset with me."
Severus studied his son. His body was still recovering, but he looked healthier than he had in ages. He stood at a modest five foot seven inches, and his features were strong and handsome, reflecting his age of eighteen years. His eyes, however, were exactly as Severus remembered them from three years ago. With abrupt clarity, Severus realized that even though the years had passed for them all, Shadow was still the fifteen year old boy who had killed Voldemort.
"I am not upset with you," he replied gently. "In fact, I owe you an apology. I promised you that in return for never locking your door, I would always knock if it were closed and wait for permission before I entered. For the last few years, I have fallen out of those rules."
Shadow peeked out through his bangs. "It's all right."
"Thank you for your forgiveness." Severus hesitated but decided it would be all right to ask. "May I assume you are happy?"
Shadow chewed his lip. "I kinda… I asked him to marry me."
Despite holding an objective mindset around him, he felt his eyes widen. "I presume his answer was yes."
"Yeah." Shadow grinned, but the thin arms rising up to wrap around his thin chest bespoke uncertainty. The gesture reminded Severus painfully of Shadow's comfort in the straight jacket. "He stuck it out with me through all this shit. I don't think anyone else would have. And he was so upset about having to sleep with other people. His self-disgust crawled around inside me, and I just wanted to show him how much I love him. It makes me feel happy and safe to know that he'll stay with me forever. And I want to acknowledge our relationship. I want to give something back to him."
Severus reconsidered his previous thought that Shadow was still a fifteen year old boy. These weren't the thoughts of a teenager. The years spent in the coma had obviously aged him, maybe in a different way than it had the rest of them, but it had matured him nonetheless. "I admire your courage and your commitment to each other. I am happy for you."
"Then why were you sad if you're not disappointed in me?"
"Disappointed?" Severus considered that. "If I am disappointed, it is not disappointment in you. I was merely realizing that you are growing up. You were thirteen when you came to live with me. I wish I'd had more than two years to guide you."
Shadow stared, his mouth hanging open. It would never have occurred to him that Severus would want to raise him. Not after the Dursleys who had abhorred that task. But there was no reason for Severus to be sad. "I'm always going to need your guidance." He laughed at the sheer absurdity that anyone would think otherwise.
"What is so funny?" Severus asked with a light sneer.
"While Remus was examining me, Sirius was there. He was so excited. I could feel it shining out of his skin. Remus, too. I trust them both, but… I still felt uncomfortable with them near me. If Draco hadn't been right beside me, I don't think I could have handled it. I… The fear… Boy's fear… It's still inside me. I'm calm when I'm with you and Draco, but I can't be afraid of everyone or of going outside forever. I don't want to live that way, and I don't know how to get rid of it."
Severus stood and sat next to the young man, pulling him into his side. "We will get through this. I promise."
Shadow nodded. "Told you I need you. And even if I didn't, I love you, Severus." He lifted his face to stare into his father's eyes. "I'm always going to want you with me."
"Good," he answered roughly, tightening his hold. "Because I couldn't imagine letting you go now."
Chapter end.
A/N: All right be honest. Was it too mushy? (puppy-dog eyes)