This situation-relationship, I don't know, but this isn't something I expected to be part of. I figured if I did this with anyone it would be a beautiful girl like Weiss, or my best friend Sun… not Torchwick. But man, the guy is amazing. He knows exactly where to put his hands, how to move, when to tighten his grip or suck harder. Within seconds he has me begging for more, but he won't give it. Oh no, it's never that easy. To him I'm just a toy, I have to earn the privilege of release.
Although… there are times when he lets me take the lead. Those times are so different. He's normally dominate, but then he just lets go and lets me have my way with him. Then I'm the one holding him to a wall, grinding my hips against him. I didn't even think I had it in me to be so aggressive. You learn something new everyday.
The problem here is rather obvious: I'm fucking the enemy. This battle, over whatever, could be over if I opened my mouth and said I know where Roman is, but I can't do it. I don't know if it's because I don't want to admit I've betrayed my team, or because I'm scared of betraying Roman. Its bothering me. Just how badly have I messed up by getting involved with Roman?
Would my team forgive me if they learned about this? I know they love me, but I've shunned everything we were taught, just to get laid. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't possibly say anything, but I can't stay silent either.
Gahh, this is gonna kill me. I keep going back to him, back to that feeling. Being pressed against a wall, his nails dragging down my chest and thighs as he kneels in front of me. His lips skillfully sucking on, everything from my neck to-yeah you get the picture. He's amazing and I can't leave that. As much as I tell myself I can find someone else, maybe Sun, it never convinces me. I mean, there's got to be advantages to that tail, but I just don't feel the same way about him as I do Roman.
I'm not even sure what I feel towards Roman. Is it lust? Love? I don't know! All I know is I can't lose him! He's a criminal that I should have stayed away from. Instead I let him draw me in and now I can't get away. I fell victim to his charm and now I… I might just love him. If this was purely lust I should be able to let go. But I can't. This is a mess, I'm a mess. I don't even know how he feels! Hell he probably doesn't even feel anything… I'm just his toy.