*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much*
"What the hell," says Jon as he holds onto his jaw as he shakes his head. I stand and look at Dean in his eyes. They are full of rage and hatred at the same time. His voice was bitter and his breaths are heavy.
"What is going on?" asks my mom.
"This son of a bitch left my mom when I was three years old. He walked out on us and never came back. I waited for you to come back, Dad. I sat by that window all day and all night waiting for you to come back but you never came back."
"I don't even know you," says Jon, "how could I walk out on you and your mom," he says with a nervous laugh.
"You think I'm making this up? You think I forgot what my dad sounds like and what he looks like?" asks Dean. "I'm not stupid. I know you're my dad."
"I," he starts to say.
"Jon," says my mom, "what is going on here? I never knew you had a son."
"Lucia," he says before taking a deep breath. "I don't even know what to say."
"Maybe tell her the truth," says Dean as Talli starts to cry in her carseat from the commotion. I swear she picks up on Dean's mood and they affect her. I put the carseat down and pick her up out of because I know we aren't going anywhere anytime soon. "Tell her how I was 3 years old and you walked out on us. Tell her, Dad," he says with contempt as I try to calm Talli down.
"You have the baby upset," I say as I bounce her back and forth.
"I'm sorry, Baby girl," he says before he tries to take her from me.
"Don't," I say, "you're not holding her with that type of rage inside of you."
"I'm sorry, Ana," he says. "I'm sorry, Talli," he says before he kisses the top of her head. "Daddy is sorry your grandpa is an asshole."
"Dean," I say giving him a look. "Don't teach her that stuff. Maybe we should all talk about this and calm down."
"There isn't anything to talk about," says Dean. "Look at him. It looks like he made out all right for himself while my mom and I didn't. It's okay. There's nothing to say."
"Jon," says Jon.
"My name is Dean. No one calls me Jon anymore because you're a pathetic piece of crap," he says. "My mom couldn't bring herself to call me Jon or Jonathon after you left. It would have been a disgrace."
"Dean," says Jon, "your girlfriend is right let's talk about this and sit down calm down and relax."
"I have nothing to talk to you about."
"Dean," I say, "Please talk to your dad. I'm here. We can all talk together," I say as I rub his arm feeling him soften from my touch. I feel the rage leave his body as I touch his arm. "Just talk you don't have to be best friends just talk and listen."
"Fine," says Dean. "I'll talk and I'll listen."
"All right," says Jon. "Let's go to the living room to talk. Ana, I'm sorry that you had to meet me like this. Your mom speaks highly of you. I was hoping to meet you someday and I just wish it was under better circumstances."
"My mom talks about me?" I ask with a smile as we walk to the living room.
"Every day," he says, "she talks about you, your sister and your brother. She misses you guys. She really wishes she could have a relationship with all of you. I wish she could too but I'm glad that she can at least have a relationship with you."
"Wow," I say looking at my mom. I'm shocked that she talks about me. "I'm sorry we had to meet like this too. Dean is a good kid," I say as we walk. "He's just misunderstood."
"I understand. I would be angry too if I was in his position. I was young and stupid."
We get into the living room, Dean takes a seat on the couch as I sit down next to him. Jon takes a seat on the leather chair and my mom stands beside it. The look on her face is unreadable. I believe she truly didn't know that Jon had a son that he left behind to pursue his lifetime goal. Dean is still upset and I can feel it. I feel the rage radiating off his body as he sits next to me. I try to soften him by placing my hand on his knee to calm him down. It works but not as well as I had hoped. I take his hand into mine and he squeezes it as he intertwines our fingers. I have thoughts of this little blue eyed boy with strawberry blonde hair looking out the window for his dad, waiting for him to come back and I feel that hurt. I feel that pain that I know he felt. "First," says my mom, "I want to know what's going on? Jon, you have a son that is going out with my daughter that he has a child with?"
"It's kind of coincidental I know," says Jon, "but yes I have a son. I left him when he was 3."
"Interesting," says my mom and I know that tone. I have the same one when I'm irritated but I'm trying to stay calm. Jon is in a lot of trouble after we leave. She even crosses her arms the way I do.
"Dean, you have to know I was young when your mom and I had you. We were still in high school. You were a big surprise. I didn't expect to get your mom pregnant but it happened. We tried to make it work and I wanted to make it work but I didn't want to live my life on the streets anymore. I wanted to make something of myself. I wanted to go to college, I wanted to get a good job. I wanted to have a nice life."
"So you left your 3 year old son behind?"
"It killed me to leave you behind, Dean, it really did but I did what I felt I needed to do. I was young, I was stupid and I was scared. I was scared of being a dad. You were getting older and I didn't know how to handle you. You were diagnosed with ADHD and I didn't know how to deal with that. I couldn't deal with it. I know it probably hurt when I left and I am sorry. I just did what I felt was right at the time."
"But why didn't you come back or why didn't you try to include me in your new life?" asks Dean. "Do you know what kind of life I had growing up? It was pure hell. I was alone 90% off the time, I had to watch my mom do drugs and get high. I watched my mom get drunk every day. I watched her get her ass kicked and sell herself to whoever was willing to buy her just so she could put food on the table. Half the time I didn't even have food. I didn't have anything. There were nights she kicked me out of the house and I had to sleep in the snow in the park by myself. I grew up at 10 years old because I didn't have a choice. I had to take care of my mom and make sure she was all right. I did everything you should have been doing. You left us and I paid the price because you were selfish and then you thought that $100 in a Christmas Card or a Birthday card would make up for the hell that I went through because you left. I don't want your pity money. I never did I just wanted my dad in my life. You weren't there. I got my ass kicked by whomever she was having sex with that week. I went hungry most days because you chose not to be there and here you are living it up, owning your own company married and taking care of two girls yet you forgot all about me or didn't care enough to make sure I was okay."
"Dean," he says, "You have to understand I was young."
"Don't use the young excuse because it's bullshit," he says. "I was 17 years old when Ana had Talli. I could never imagine leaving Talli's life or leaving Ana behind. I couldn't imagine missing a day in Talli's life. I already missed too much of it because of my stupid choices but I'm not going to ever walk out on them. I want to be a better person and make something of myself but the only difference between you and me is I'm doing it for them because they are my family. They are my life. They are everything to me. I could never imagine leaving them behind to be someone. I'm not only living for me but I'm living for them. The day I became a father my entire life changed. Talli became my entire world. She became the reason I want to be better. It's called responsibility. You didn't want to be responsible so you left to make some life for yourself forgetting about your son only sending him a check on his birthday. Pathetic I'm embarrassed to even have your name. And then the golden part is you don't even tell your wife about the son and woman you left behind."
"Dean," he says. "I was scared."
"You think I wasn't scared the moment Ana told me she was pregnant with my child. I never had so much fear in my body as I did the moment she told me I was going to be a father. And you know why I was scared. Do you both know why Ana and I were scared shitless to be parents? Because we were scared we would end up like the people that left us. I'm so scared that I'll end up like you but I'm trying so hard not to be like you. I don't want to be like you. I want to be the best father to my daughter. I want to play with her every day, take care of her every day and I never want to miss a moment of her life. I look into those blue eyes and see her toothless grin and everything in the world makes sense. Being a father has been the most rewarding thing for me. How could you just leave me? How could you not come back?" he asks as his voices cracks and I see the tears forming in his blue eyes. It makes my heart break for him. "I was 3 years old! You left us. I waited for you," he says before he lets out an agonizing sob. "You left us. I wanted you to come home so bad to play with me. I thought we would play legos or something. You never even kissed me goodbye. You never cared about us. I was just a mistake for you."
"Dean," he says as my mom takes Talli from me so I can comfort Dean as he cries. "I don't know how to say I'm sorry for everything you went through. I thought about you if I hadn't thought about you I wouldn't have sent you cards for Christmas or your birthday. I became someone. I couldn't go back there and ruin myself and ruin who I became. I couldn't go back. I couldn't face you after what I did. I couldn't. It hurt leaving you that day. I didn't want to leave you but I did what I felt I needed to do."
"You're unbelievable," he says, "You had a choice. You didn't want to leave but you felt you needed to. You left because you wanted to so you could have all this."
"Dean," he says, "it's not like that. I worked for this life and I worked to get here."
"While turning your back on your son," he says. Dean has so much pain in his voice it's tearing me apart. I can't even take it. I want to cry. He's hurting so bad and the things Jon is saying isn't helping the situation. Dean is pouring his heart out, talking about his deepest pain and all Jon can talk about is how he did what he felt he needed to do and how he didn't want to. I think Jon is an asshole It's that simple. He can't even look his son in the eyes and tell him he's sorry. I never once heard him say that he loved Dean.
"Dean," he says, "I don't know what you want me to say. I told you that I didn't want to leave and I told you that I needed to do what I needed to do. If I hadn't have left I would have been in jail or dead. I needed to save my life."
"How selfish can you be?" I say. "You left your 3 year old son behind because you didn't want to be in jail or dead. What about him? What about the life he was subjected to and what about the life he lived because of you. He needed someone to save him. He needed someone to care about him. He needed his father to be in his life. You chose to walk away and all you're doing is making up some bullshit excuses instead of saying you're sorry for leaving. Do you even love your son?"
"I don't know him."
"That was your choice," I say, "but do you love him? Did you love him when he was a little boy?"
"I loved him the day I met him and I loved him every day."
"So how could you just walk out on his life and never look back? A Christmas card and a birthday card is nothing it probably made Dean feel like an afterthought. I don't understand how you could walk out on him and have no remorse for it. He was 3 years old. He was just a little boy. He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve the life he lived because of you."
"His mom could have been better and done a better job as a parent."
"But you left her single and alone with a little boy knowing she didn't have a diploma and couldn't work. You left her and this little boy and never looked back. Dean is a great guy. He's a great man. I think he is an awesome father and that's no thanks to you. You missed out on knowing and having a great kid in your life. That's your loss but the thing that really gets me the most is how you can just sit here right now and not be sorry for leaving. All you're doing is making excuses," I say. "That's it."
"So maybe I am making excuses. Maybe I am an asshole but I did what I needed to do and now I have this life with a beautiful wife and two beautiful daughters," he says.
"I'm glad you didn't leave them behind too," I say, "the struggle must have been real."
"When I married your mom I was older and I was wiser. When I had the two girls I was older and I could provide for them. I am sorry that I left Dean behind. It was not my intention to hurt him."
"It may not have been your intention but you did. You made a selfish choice."
"Your mom left you didn't she?"
"My mom was blackmailed and threatened not to come back. She didn't have a choice to come back. She had every intention to come back but my dad made it so she couldn't you had a choice and you chose not to," I say.
"For years I waited for you to come back just hoping that one day you would come back and be in my life again. Then it turns out you marry another woman and have two kids with her. Did you forget about your son? And the fact that Lucia doesn't know about me means you never told her. You wanted me to go away. You ran away from your responsibility like a coward instead of being a man and owning up to it. You're pathetic," says Dean. "You couldn't even pick up a phone to call me and say happy birthday to me. You couldn't ask if I wanted to shoot some hoops or throw some balls around. The fact is you didn't care and you're not sorry. I'm sorry that you missed out on my life. I may not have done anything special in my life yet other than make the most amazing baby in the world with the woman I love the most but you missed out on everything. I'm sorry that you did and I'm sorry for everything you're going to miss out on from here on out. You're a pathetic excuse for a man and a father. I don't want you in my life and I don't want you in my daughter's life. You were NOTHING to me and you're going to be nothing to her. You didn't want to be there when I was nothing don't try to be here when I become something," he says as he stands up. "If Ana chooses to have a relationship with her mom that's fine but as for you and those girls I want NOTHING to do with any of you and all of you can stay out of my life. I'm ready to go, Ana." He says before he walks out of the living room.
Jon doesn't even say a word. At that point he should have stood up and apologized and tried to be a part of Dean's life now but he didn't. This just proves he never cared about Dean in the first place. It's really sad when you think about it. Way too sad. "Ana," says my mom, "are you going?"
"Yeah," I say as I stand up to take Natalia from her. "I think Dean and I need to go back to the hotel and talk a little bit. And I don't think tonight is a good idea for dinner."
"Me either," she says before she kisses Natalia goodbye. "Please don't let this ruin our relationship. I love you and I want to be a part of your life. I want to be part of Natalia's life. And if Dean will let me I want to be part of his life too," she says. "I don't want to lose you again."
"Mom," I say, "I want that too. I want to have a relationship with you and I would love for you to be in Natalia's life. I've missed you so much. I don't know about Dean. He's difficult sometimes and right now he's hurting. It might take a while but if you want to do dinner with me and Natalia tomorrow that would be great. I'd like to meet the girls and catch up with you."
"That would be wonderful," she says with a smile. She wraps her arms around me as I wrap an arm around her. She kisses the top of my head and says, "I love you, Ana."
"I love you too, Mom," I say with a smile before I kiss her cheek. "Well, I better get going. You have my cell number so you can call me whenever you want to talk or whatever and you have my facebook name you can add me there and follow me on Instagram if you want. I'll talk to you later."
"Okay," she says with a smile. "Bye," she says.
"Bye, Mom," I say I put Natalia into her car seat and then I meet Dean at the door so we can go. I don't even know what to say after everything that just happened.
The car ride back to the hotel is done in silence. Dean holds my hand as I drive us back but each time I look at him he's looking out the window checking out the scenery around us. He's not saying much and that scares me.
By the time we get back to the hotel Talli is sound asleep so I take her into the hotel and lay her down in her pack and play careful not to wake her up because I know she will never go back to sleep. I clean out her bottles at the sink in the hotel room before I see Dean sitting on the couch in the room. I walk over to him. "You okay?" I ask.
He motions for me to sit beside him. I take a seat next to him and he instantly wraps his arms around me and I snuggle up against him and as I take in his scent as he buries his nose in my hair before kissing the top of my head. "Is she sleeping?"
"Yeah," I say, "are you okay?"
"I'll be okay," he says, "I just didn't think it would hurt so much. I don't even care about the guy because obviously he didn't care about me but still it hurts. Why does it hurt so much?"
"Because maybe you had an idea of him being a great guy full of remorse ready to bond with you and make up for lost times but it turned out he was a douchebag. I'm sorry that it turned out like that."
"Me too," he says. "I couldn't believe him. He didn't even care all he was doing was making excuses. He wasn't sorry and he didn't care how bad he hurt me. He was happy with his life and the way it is now. He doesn't want me he never did. Rejection sucks," he says as I wrap my arm around his stomach feeling his perfect washboard abs through his shirt.
"If you want my honest opinion you're better off without him. I know rejection sucks but you are better off without him. You are a great guy no thanks to him. You know how to treat a woman right and you didn't learn that from him. You learned that from your mom. You are an amazing guy, Dean, you're smart, you're fun, you're sexy and I love you. I love YOU and I want you in my life. Talli and I both want you in our lives. We need you so much. You're an amazing father to Talli and I love watching you with her. You didn't learn that from your dad. You're much better without him. He may not have cared about you but I sure as hell give a shit about you and Talli cares about you. Screw him you don't need him with Talli and me you have everything you need."
"I know, Baby," he says as his hand softly rubs my arm as he kisses my forehead. "You are one of the only people that does give a shit about me and I like that. I like the feeling of someone caring about me."
"It is a great feeling isn't it?"
"Yeah," he says with a smile. "You're right I don't need him in my life. I got everything I need with you and Talli."
"Are you sure you don't want to get to know our little sisters?" I ask.
"No I don't want to know them. I don't want anything to do with that man, Ana. I don't"
"Will you at least be civil with my mom? She would like to have a relationship with both of us."
"I can tolerate your mom for you but as for my dad and our sisters no," he says.
"Fair enough."
"Is it weird that our parents are married and we're dating with a kid?"
"I don't think it's weird but it is different."
"This kind of makes you my sister."
"STEP sister so we aren't even blood related. I think we're okay. I don't think we need to break up or anything."
"Okay good because I wasn't planning on ever letting you go."
I smile as I snuggle closer to him inhaling the smell of his Axe Body and it is heavenly. "I wasn't ever letting you go either." He looks down at me and smiles before he kisses my lips softly. "I love you, my sexy crazy lover."
He laughs and says, "I love you too, Beautiful. I never want to be like my dad."
"And you never will be because you're not like him and you have a heart. You're a great guy. You will never be like your father and I will never let you be."
"I appreciate that," he says before he kisses my lips once more. "There's nothing in this world that makes me feel better than when I have you in my arms."
"I like being in your arms," I say with a smile. "Be mine forever."
"Forever and always," he says with a smile before he kisses the top of my head. "You know how you said you didn't want to be engaged?"
"Yeah," I say, "because I don't not yet not this young."
"Would you settle for a promise ring? A ring promising that I'll be yours forever and that one day I'll ask you to be my wife when you're ready."
"A promise ring sounds nice," I say with a smile. "I like that."
"Me too," he says with a smile before we snuggle up more on the couch and watch a little bit of TV before Natalia wakes up to eat.
*A/N: What did you think of Dean's dad? Do you believe he was sorry for leaving Dean when he was a kid? Were you surprised Ana spoke up in defense of Dean? What did you think of Dean expressing his deepest pain? Do you think he should have a relationship with his little sisters at least? Are you glad this isn't ruining Ana's relationship with her mom? What do you think about Dean getting Ana a promise ring? What do you think of their relationship now compared to the way it was before? Please review and thank-you for reading.