A/N THANK YOU SO MUCH I HAVE MORE THEN 100 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU ALL!...ahem, final notes at the bottom!
Arthur found himself in a sunlit stair well. Blinking his eyes once he took in the scene, his queen was there looking frightened and anguished along with a pale and silent Merlin and a weary and old looking Gaius.
"Is she any better?"
Gaius looked down and frowned, and his queen looked stricken and hurried down the stairs, Gaius looked up his face hard and his mouth firm, but his eyes were soft and sad, it was the face of an experienced physician and it was the face of a man who didn't want to lose someone he obviously cared about.
"She's all but dead, Merlin."
Merlin shook his head fast.
"No, you're going to cure her. You have to."
Gaius frowned.
"Don't you start. I've tried everything."
Merlin looked down at the tone in Gaius's voice and the two stood in silence, until Merlin looked up, a wary but eager look to his face all at once, and Arthur knew what Merlin would want to do and he shook his head, because he knew that Gaius would shoot him down.
Gaius was more cautious then Merlin, whether because of age or knowledge, Arthur knew not, although he would lean towards a combination of both.
"I was wondering…."
Gaius's eyes sharpened and his reply was terse.
"What?"
"Maybe I could…..maybe I could help her."
Gaius frowned and sighed.
"If you're suggesting magic, my boy….have you forgotten what happened with Gwen's father? This is not a magical illness; it must be cured by conventional means. We keep trying. I need you to go to the market and see if you can find me some fresh rosemary."
Merlin frowned and started to leave, his eyes on the floor, but he turned back quickly his face open and sad and yearning.
"There must be something more I can do?"
Gaius looked down and looked up again, his face hardening back into the mask of a physician, a physician that seemed determined to ignore Merlin.
"And yarrow."
Arthur found himself in his chambers, his younger self slumped in a chair as Merlin flinted and flew across the room picking up pieces of discarded clothing and putting them in a ever growing pile while, in-between that, pacing back and forth, looking nervous and pale and afraid.
Morgana's illness then, he remembered this.
"It's gonna be alright. It is. I know it is. She's gonna be absolutely…"
"Merlin."
"What?"
"You're making me anxious…"
"But I'm not worried! I'm not! I know she'll be fine!"
"Then stop pacing."
Merlin frowned and sat down but his fingers began to tap on the wood and his feet knocked a rhythm on the floor and it was with a great sigh that his younger self heaved himself up and began to wear a track in the floor in the place of Merlin, while the pale man looked on, his fingers drumming across the table, and the sound, Arthur remembered thinking, reminded him of that of an executioners drum.
The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the Morgana's chambers, were the future sorceress lay still and pale as death. Gaius was examining her, his hand on the pulse point in her wrist and lifting back eyelids to stare into sightless eyes.
The man sat back and sighed.
"We cannot preserve her life for much longer. She has hours, maybe less."
His younger self stepped forward then, his – their – eyes aflame, and he watched on with a kind of sadness because the woman he was fighting for would want him dead and would become someone that he thought of only with disgust and regret.
"We cannot let her die!"
His father stepped forward then, and the man looked tired and Arthur also remembered the other man that the pale woman had wronged, because Uther had just as much right to be upset, that was his daughter on the bed after all.
"Arthur, please."
His younger self backed up then and sighed returning to stand next to a silent Merlin.
"There's a man, he came to the castle yesterday. He claims he can cure her."
"That's ridiculous. He doesn't know what's wrong with her."
"He says he has a remedy that can cure all ills."
The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the guest chambers as Merlin set an ornate box down on the table. The box landed with a heavy thud and Edwin looked up as Merlin stroked his hand down the edge and over the leather.
"This...I work with Gaius every day, this is different."
Edwin stared at Merlin until finally he nodded slowly.
"Yes….it was all originally designed for alchemy."
Merlin's brow furrowed.
"Making gold?"
Edwin's eyes turned sharply as they looked Merlin over, as if to seek out a threat, as if to find out if the man suspected anything, and Merlin stared back in just the same way, it was certainty interesting to see the man he usually reserved as unobservant carefully looking for a threat.
"Hmm, I see. You have an interest in science."
"Well, Gaius is always telling me that science is knowledge."
Edwin nodded.
"It has the answers to everything."
Merlin looked down then, a small smile on his lips before he looked up his head cocked to the side. "Maybe, maybe it does have an answer to a lot of things, but it can't explain everything, it can't explain love, it can't explain emotions."
Edwin was silent.
The room swirled and Arthur found himself outside the door to Morgana's chambers. His younger self was there along with his father, Merlin and Gaius. It was silent then, everyone waiting with baited breath and when the golden haired man descended the stairs.
"Great news, you Majesty. You will be glad to hear it is not an inflammation of the brain."
"What is it then?"
"It is a cerebral hemorrhage."
Arthur remembered wondering how that was great new but never voicing the thought. It was silent until Gaius shook his head.
"Hemorrhage? I don't think so."
"I found this trace of blood in her ear."
He lifted a cloth then, blood bright against the stark white of the cloth. His father shook his head, his face white and drawn. "God in heaven." Edwin nodded and a smile that was supposed to be comforting coming to life on his lips.
"The severity depends upon the site and volume of the bleed. If not treated, it can lead to coma, and eventually death."
Uther rounded on Gaius then, his face alight with anger and fear. It was a combination he was used to seeing in his father and yet this moment was more potent, because beneath the anger there was fear, fear for his daughter, and if anyone had ever doubted that his father had cared for his children then one need only look beneath the anger to see the fear.
"How could you have missed this?"
Gaius looked at the king, swallowed and then spoke. "I saw no blood, I looked there – "
"Please. Just thank the fates that you did not administer more rosemary to stimulate the circulation. Can you imagine what that might have done?"
His father turned back to Gaius.
"It may have increased the bleed."
"Is there a cure?"
"See for yourself."
The scene changed and Arthur found himself in Edwin's guest chambers as Merlin began to pick through the books and papers and strange equipment, until he finally came to a box and with a furrowed brow he picked it up and opened it to see millions of tiny insects all still, lying on a lining of satin.
Closing it gently, he ran his hands over the cover, brow furrowed and his eyes sharp.
"Bebeode be arisan ealdu."
There was a buzzing and then Merlin flipped the lid back to see thousands of tiny bodies moving. Merlin shut the box quickly.
"Very good."
Merlin spun around knocking over a jar with a fine yellow powder in it in typical Merlin fashion, he half walked, half stumbled over to the other man, and handed the box to him. Edwin ran his hands over the cover.
"Swefn."
The buzzing stopped. Edwin looked up then, a knowing look on his face.
"You have magic."
Merlin shook his head fast.
"It wasn't me, I didn't do it, I didn't do anything. I'm just a servant."
Edwin looked doubtful.
"Then how else did you bring them to life? Only magic can do such a thing. These little angels are how I cured Lady Morgana, they repaired the damage to her brain. They saved her life. Magic can be a force for good."
Merlin nodded.
"I know."
"Then why do you fear it."
Arthur thought of an execution on a sunny day and of a pale boy not looking away.
"Uther has banned it. It's not permitted."
"Should I have let Morgana die, just because of a law?"
Merlin jaw tensed his reply hard.
"No."
"People like us, Merlin. We have a gift. Do you not think it should be used to make this a better world?"
"Perhaps."
They were silent and Merlin bent down to start to clean up the powder but Edwin stilled him with a hand on his shoulder. "Don't waste your time picking that up, Merlin. Feormian daerst renian." And just like that the yellow powder was back in the jar, and the jar was on the table as if it had never moved from its original spot.
Merlin looked up, his eyes curious and Edwin smiled.
"Why waste a talent like that? I can teach you, Merlin."
"Raedan asce geatan."
The jar lifted off the table and with a curl of his hand Merlin poured the fine yellow into a bowl which poured it into another jar and that jar another jar. Merlin lowered his hand and the objects gently settled as if they hadn't ever moved.
"What do you use this for?"
"I don't. It's dangerous here to have magic. Besides Gaius doesn't like me to."
Edwin shook his head.
"A gift like yours should be nurtured, practiced, enjoyed. You need someone to help you, to encourage you, I can do that."
Merlin nodded slowly, "Perhaps."
"Imagine what we could achieve, if we shared our knowledge."
Merlin nodded.
"I should be getting back."
"Of course. But you must promise to keep our secret safe."
"Of course I will. I wouldn't reveal you. Why would I?" Edwin smiled softly but it didn't reach his eyes, eyes that were watching Merlin like a hare out of reach from the hawk, silently laughing. "People like you and I, we must look after each other."
The scene changed and Arthur found himself standing next to Gaius as the man flipped through a book, a look of intense concentration on his face.
"Have you been up all night?"
Arthur looked up to see Merlin at the top of the staircase that led up to his small bedroom, a pack on his back.
"Yes, but it was worth it. Where are you going?"
"Er, I told Edwin I'd be up at dawn to collect some supplies."
Gaius nodded. "Well, you better get a move on then." Merlin nodded and bounded out the door as the scene changed and Arthur found himself in the same chambers but at the opposite end of the day, pale moonlight spilled through the window as Merlin paced back and forth in front of a stone faced Gaius.
"Gaius! Uther cannot do this to you. You tried to save Morgana."
"Uther's not to blame."
No, Arthur thought, Edwin is.
"I will speak to Edwin, you can work together, think of what you could learn from each other."
Gaius shook his head and lay a hand on the other man's shoulder stilling his pacing.
"No, you mustn't do anything."
Merlin shook his head.
"I can't stand by and do nothing!"
"Uther's right. It's time I stepped down."
And then Arthur see's the moment Merlin's eyes land on the pack that Gaius was standing in front of and he sees the panic that takes over and Arthur is reminded that Gaius was probably the closest thing that Merlin had ever had to a father and even now – or rather then, it had only been five months since Merlin had been made his manservant – the bond that they had was strong.
"What – what are you doing?"
"I cannot stay when there's no longer a use for me."
"You're – you're leaving?"
Gaius nodded and laid a hand on Merlin's shoulder.
"I believe it is for the best."
"Then I will come with you. It'll be an adventure."
"Merlin, Merlin no. You're like a son to me. I never expected such a blessing so late in life but – "
"And you are more of a father to me than my own ever was."
"Then, as a father, I must tell you, you must remain here. Camelot is where you belong, it's were you're meant to be Merlin. Don't throw it all away."
"But you belong here too!"
Gaius shook his head.
"Not anymore. Merlin, you must promise me you will not waste your gift."
"My gift? Before Camelot I knew nothing of magic except what was instinctual to me. You changed that, you gave me the first tool I had to learn more. My gift, it means nothing without you here to guide me, to teach me."
"You have a great destiny. If I have had a small part in that, then I am pleased."
"There is so much I have yet to learn. I need you to teach me. Gaius please…"
"I'm afraid I'm leaving here tonight, Merlin. And there's nothing you can do or say that can persuade me otherwise."
Merlin shook his head then, his eyes firm, like hard gems set within cold stone that needed human touch to warm it.
"I will not let this happen!"
Merlin turned then and stormed towards the door his whole form radiating tension, but what Arthur found significant was the way Gaius seemed to slump the moment the younger man was gone, and Arthur wondered what part of the story even Merlin hadn't been privy to.
"Oh my boy….goodbye, Merlin."
The scene changed and Arthur found himself staring into his own face years younger and terrified. He remembers this, he'd thought this was the true meaning of fear and in a way it was, but there was more to it than that.
"Merlin! My father has Morgana's illness! We must find Edwin!"
Merlin's brow furrowed.
"What – "
"Don't just stand there, you go check his chambers I'll check the library, that's where he's been spendin – "
But Merlin was gone, running and his younger self took off in the opposite direction and at a loss and knowing what he had found he followed the servent as he bounded down the halls and through the doors into a room on fire.
"What are you doing, Edwin? Gaius? "
But it wasn't Edwin who answered, the blonde haired man had his back to Merlin still, no, it was the man on the ground that spoke up.
"He was trying to kill the king. I couldn't let him."
Edwin turned then, the scar on his face looking dark and ugly in a way it hadn't before. His face lit up with manic glee and his face twisted into an ugly grin. Merlin stood there indecision in each line of his face.
"I can rule the kingdom now. And with you at my side, we can be all-powerful!"
And that, Arthur thought, was were Edwin lost Merlin, any chance he had of having the warlock on his side was gone the moment those words left his mouth, because doing something like that was so different from something Merlin would do.
And he wondered what he was afraid of with the Merlin back in the waking world? He didn't know.
"Release him! Gaius has done nothing!"
The blonde clicked his tongue.
"It's your loss, Merlin. Swilte!"
Arthur winced as the spell sent an axe hurtling at the servent, but Merlin himself didn't even blink the axe stopped flying within a moment and hung suspended until Merlin thrust his arm out and the weapon was sent back at the manic blonde.
"Swilte!"
The blade stopped and hung there, shaking as the two sorcerer's magic strained against it. Edwin gritted his teeth, and tried again and the blade gave an inch but that was it, and with a flare of golden eyes the blade was sent hurtling towards Edwin and hit it's mark with a solid thunk, the man crumpled and slowly the flames dissipated.
And Arthur saw the moment realization flashed through Merlin's eyes, the moment he realized what he'd just done, but the man didn't crumple like Arthur had after his first kill, instead his eyes closed for a moment and he swallowed face pale, but he didn't crumple.
"Are you alright?"
Gaius pushed himself to his feet.
"Yes. Thank you Merlin, what are you doing?"
The man asked as he caught sight of Merlin picking up the box of beetles.
"Uther's ill; the same thing Morgana had. Edwin said he used these to cure Morgana. Maybe we can too."
And if Merlin's voice trembled, if his steps were a bit shaky Gaius didn't notice. And if Gaius found it odd that Merlin had beaten a sorcerer that clearly had more training then him, and hadn't spoken a word while doing it, he didn't say.
The scene changed and Arthur found himself standing beside Merlin and Gaius as they stared down at his father's pale and unmoving form, Merlin swallowed and ran his hands through his hair. "How do we get the beetle out before it kills him?"
"It can only be done by magic…"
Merlin looked up his eyes frantic. Fear making his eyes dart wildly back and forth.
"We can't use magic on Uther, he'd kill us!"
"We don't have a choice anymore!"
And neither of them acknowledged the fact that they did have a choice, they could just walk away. They could walk away and ever one would think nothing less of them because there was nothing they could have done, it was magic that would have been blamed, not the two men who stood beside his father's bedside. Not the man that was being asked to do the saving now, not the one that looked completely terrified on top of being pale and shaky.
Not the one that had killed a man minutes ago.
"Gaius, I can't! Don't ask me to!"
"There are times when it is necessary, Merlin. It is your right."
"Gaius please….I don't...I don't know how to do this!"
Gaius laid a hand on Merlin's shoulder then and Arthur wondered how such a kind act could seem to lay a burden that needn't be there on the younger man's shoulders. And Arthur wondered if it would have been kinder to let Uther die then to ask Merlin to do this.
"If you don't, he's going to die. Do you want that on your conscious? Could you look at Arthur – "
"Okay, Gaius, okay…"
Merlin sat on the edge, his hand coming to rest over his father's ear, his eyes closed and his brow creased and he sat deathly still for a long moment until finally without opening his eyes he began to speak.
"Bebeode be arisan ealdu. Ablinnen."
Slowly without opening his eyes Merlin pulled his hand back and ever so slowly opened it until he revealed a tiny beetle lying still in the center of his palm. Gaius looked back and forth from Merlin to the king whose skin was rapidly regaining color.
"Merlin…has anybody ever told you, you're a genius?"
Merlin's eyes snapped open then and slowly a relieved smile began to dance across his lips.
"I did it…" and then, "You certainly haven't."
The scene changed.
Sorry for being late but guard got in the way! If any of you follow me on DA you know i've been absent from there as well. Guard and midterm prep literally took over my life from the moment i got back from Christmas break and I've been beyond stressed! Thank god for central NY's weather (ice day, no school), otherwise this might have not been up until this weekend.
I struggled with this one too, because it isn't so much Merlin's story in this one, in the way that the real character development centers around Gaius more and so i feel that i may of been unclear but...what i tried to do was focus on the bond between Gaius and Merlin so that i can perhaps use it in contrast to a future bond. (If you can't guess then i'm either being really vague - something i've never been good at, hence all the description i like to write - or i don't even know) Did it come out well?
Question for you: What's your favorite destressor? Because I've found lately that the only thing that works lately is slowly counting backwards from 100.
Bonus question for you: I'll be 16 as of the fifth, sooooo what's your favorite thing to do on your birthday?
Reveiw responses now!
Kitkat: Thanks for your opinion! The movies have been confirmed? I hadn't heard that.
Lady Of The Wind Dweller: Thanks for the praise and for your opinion!
Angeleyenc: Sorry for being so late!
Daily-chan: Thanks for your opinion on how to interpret 5.11 through 5.13 into this story and as for your response on the episode, i couldn't have said it better myself, thank you!
Lady Blade WarAngel: You've raised a few good points on who i could integrate series five into this story so thank you, and as for your opinion on the final episode, from what i've seen from reviews and the unhealthy amount of time i've spent on tumblr since the finale i can say that people either loved it or were disappointed with it. You were one of the ones that were disappointed and that's okay, thanks for your opinion.
R: Thank you!
Menolikee: Thank you for your opinion on both my questions!
EtherealHope: Thank you so much, actually your idea was somewhere along the line of what i was thinking! Also i absolutely love your pen-name!
Nameless Secret Keeper: THANK YOU!
IndiaMoore: Thank you for your opinion.
Mika271170: Your welcome! I won't forget it, i'm terrible at updating on time but i hate to abandon fics, especially ones i've put so much thought into. Great to hear, long live Merlin! Thanks again!
sarajm: Thank you!
Lolello: I do don't I? lol Thank you!