Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've just moved to a new city. Also I wasn't sure if people were reading/enjoying this but I've got a few reviews now and it seems people are! This story is a bit of a slow-burner, so it may not seem like a lot is happening right now but it's building up to something good, I promise. Life if pretty hectic for me at the moment so I'm afraid I can really only update when I find the time, but I do enjoy it when I do . Keep the reviews coming!
It was Sunday, and this could only mean one thing. CHURCH. Not that they didn't go to church every day at St. Theresa's, but Sunday was the most intense church-going experience you could imagine. The girls got dressed up in full formal uniform and all the staff had to dress nicely. Annabelle was gazing into the mirror, adjusting and re-adjusting the black blazer she'd picked out for today's service. She was nervous, but she didn't know why. Was it that the priest's sermons often made her feel guilty? Was it the prospect of sitting next to Mother Immaculata for 2 hours? Was it the fear that maybe, just maybe, she'd find herself glancing over Lucy a little too often.
One by one the girls filed into the hot, stuffy church. Annabelle made herself at home amongst the other staff - it was a strange feeling to be sitting on the other side of the aisle. Mother Immaculata struggled her way into a seat, now needing a cane to aid her. Annabelle gave her a hand. Despite their history and Mother Immaculata's disapproval of Simone and Annabelle's relationship, the pair had moved on from that. The church does preach forgiveness, does it not?
The priest was a young man who had graduated from St. Pauls. Annabelle remembered meeting him briefly at the dance, she had always thought he would be a good match for Collins. Awkward and quirky, but incredibly sweet. "Today we are going to talk about fear," he said. "Fear can do lots of things. It can hold us back, it can almost cripple us. However, extraordinary things happen when we look that fear in the eye, and do the very thing we are afraid of." Annabelle felt tense. She could feel her palms sweating, and not just because of the heat. She was aware that someone was looking at her. Regardless, she kept her focus ahead. "What is it that we fear? Failure, regret... judgement. Well, I can tell you this. Every failure is a lesson learnt. Regret is not something you want to have in your life. And judgement? Anyone who judges you is in no place to do so. The only person who can judge you is God." Annabelle couldn't take it anymore. She glanced to her right. Lucy was staring directly at her, as if her eyes hadn't moved for 20 minutes. Annabelle looked back, unaware of what her expression may be conveying. She held her gaze for quite some time. Lucy mouthed what appeared to be "it's okay," and smiled. Annabelle snapped her head back towards the front of the church, somewhat shocked. She didn't know what to think of that.
Later on at the Sunday brunch Annabelle was in the dining hall, opting to sit alone at a small table in the corner. She had hoped this would have the effect of being invisible, but unfortunately it did the opposite. Lucy sat down in front of Annabelle, who didn't lift her head. "Miss... Miss?" she said.
"I told you, you can call me Annabelle" she replied, still not looking up.
"Annabelle, are you okay?"
She looked up. She stared deeply into her eyes. "Lucy, what is it that you want?"
"Oh, I'm sorry Miss... I mean Annabelle. I just... I'm feeling quite lonely at the moment and I don't really know what to do."
Annabelle sighed. "No, I'm sorry. I think I must be feeling a little funny too. It is really hard when you first come here, I remember when I arrived I felt alone for weeks. I guess I just sort of pretended like I was everyone's best friend until they accepted me like I was."
"As in fake it til you make it?"
"Exactly," Annabelle replied, with a smile.
"But what if I don't want to fake it?" Lucy stated boldly, then scanned Annabelle for a reaction.
Annabelle didn't react. She looked back down at her food. "You might have to, at least for a little while," she whispered, almost as if she was speaking to herself.
Lucy stood up and left.
Later that night Annabelle was alone in her room and couldn't stop thinking. She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. What did Lucy mean by "it's okay?" What's okay? If this girl had a crush on her then she was suddenly going to be put in a very tough bind. She took a deep breath, and picked up her phone. She made the familiar scan down her list of contacts to find Simone. She hastily typed out a message, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the things I put you through. I know I ruined your career and it's not fair because I shouldn't have put that kind of pressure on you. I know what it's like. I want to see you. Please, talk to me. x"
She pushed the button without hesitation, and it was sent.