Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

A/n1: I hereby apologize to you for the insane amount of Caps Lock in the next few sentences. *bows deeply* It seemed to be a funny idea, but the words – they scream! ^^;;;

A/n2: By the way, shortly after finishing Bottoms Up, my ENTIRE FAMILY found out I wrote such a big-ass fic. Not just my mom – she already knew, remember? – but EVERYBODY.
YES. YES, I INDEED DIED OF EMBARRASSMENT.
But then my dad resurrected me and told me with tears in his tiny eyes just how enthusiastically he was going to inform EVERYBODY HE KNEW ABOUT HIS WONDERFULLY TALENTED DAUGHTER
THE POOR MAN DIDN'T KNOW I WROTE SOMETHING WITH LOTS OF GAY PORN IN IT
AND THEN MY COUSIN TOLD ME SHE WANTED TO READ MY FIC
AND I SAID 'NO YOU DON'T WANT THAT' AND SHE SAID 'YES I WANT THAT NOW LET ME READ IT, WONDERFULLY TALENTED COUSIN' AND I SAID 'KILL ME' AND THEN I DIED AGAIN the end.

A/n3: Well okay, the good part is that my family is still blissfully unaware of what kind of fic I actually wrote. I refused to tell my parents and brothers when they found out, and till this day, they still don't know. I guess I'm lucky my brothers really don't give a flying fuck about whatever I'm doing with my spare time and my parents, suspiciously enough, don't even try to look it up.
'That's because you wrote it in English, dear,' my mom said. 'You don't think we'll read 80 English chapters, do you? I have a life!~'
'Also, I don't like reading,' my dad added, which is true, my dad hates reading, plus, he's as dyslectic as an analphabetic blind man. Yet he's a teacher, which still amazes me. Just how did he do that. How. But whatever.
So yeah, they don't know about the gay porn.
YETTTTTT.
*shivers* Oh god. You bet I consider immigrating to Belgium if they find out.

~~ And Three Makes Five ~~

Chapter 3:

There is very little you can beat into a child, but no limit to what you can hug out of it.
Astrid Lindgren
(Swedish author and screenwriter)

Yep, instead of doing all kinds of very corny, sappy shit, I grabbed both of his cheeks (his facial cheeks) and pinched them!

Not just a little pinch, but more like an über-PINCH of DEATH!

...

Well… well, not really.

Because… n-no matter how disturbingly turned on I had got, I cried even more upon realizing how terribly neglected that hot man in front of me was looking. It was saddening. And strangely infuriating.

So I pinched the bastard!

Not too hard though.

But still! I pinched him!

And I cried.

Like a fucking child.

Antonio stopped kissing me for a moment to utter a weak 'ouch' and gave me a just as weak smile.

'Why're yoo panching meh, Lobino?'

'Because… because!' I pressed my lips together tightly and finally – after one last twist – let go of his skin. 'B-because you look like crap, dammit! Can't you take care of yourself a little bit better when I'm away?'

'I'm sorry.' Antonio rubbed one side of his face. 'I just… I wasn't really myself when you were gone. Things aren't going very well in Spain, and you weren't here to make me feel better, and—'

'And then you made the brilliant decision to grow a fucking beard.'

Antonio blinked as stupidly as only he could blink. 'I have a beard?'

I frowned, grabbed his hand and griiiinded it over his stubbly jaws.

'Ohh, sandpaper,' he said, chuckling apologetically when he saw my watery eyes.

'Yeah, s-sandpaper,' I blubbered, my voice all choked up. Antonio noticed and was quick to pull me against him once again, making sure both of his arms were safely wrapped around me.

He pressed his forehead against my own and tried to connect his gaze to mine. 'Ah, don't cry, my love… don't cry, I'll get rid of it tomorrow, okay?'

'T-that's not why I'm f-fucking bawling, d-dammit…' I stuttered.

'I know.' Antonio pressed a kiss on my forehead – and then he immediately went back to kissing me on the mouth again, deeply and thoroughly.

Oh.

Yes. Yes, that was more like it.

Instantly, I stood on the tip of my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck like he was some kind of, I don't know, lifesaving buoy. I just clung to him with everything I had, pressing his forehead against mine, kissing him and crying and kissing even more and hugging and clinging and my toes were really starting to hurt now ow ow ow.

Antonio had stumbled backwards a bit because of my sudden-death-hug attack, but he never let go of me, holding and kissing me just as desperately, at a certain point even lifting me off the floor and grabbing one of my legs to put it around his hips.

I heard our heavy breathing, mixed with other sounds that sounded more an experimental brew of moaning, sobbing and laughing, and right then I finally realized this wasn't fucking sexy or sensual at all, dammit, no matter how enthusiastically we were exchanging our saliva.

'Damn you,' I panted, suddenly pushing his wet face away from my own, 'o-our reunion was supposed to be fucking lustful, d-dammit, not some big damn dramatic scene! N-now look at yourself, you're a walking… walking teardrop!'

'I missed you so much…' Antonio's lips were pursed and pouted and shaking. 'I-I missed you so much, I thought I would break.'

I swallowed, gripping his shoulders and his hips some more with my arms and legs.

'S-stop that, dammit, you're giving me the weirdest boner ever.'

'Y-you're turned on by my crying?' Antonio asked, immediately looking down. 'Should I be worried about that?'

'Don't fucking look!' I quickly grabbed his chin and lifted it up again. 'N-no, it's not your stupid crying that turns me on – it's just you, you bastard. You and your words. J-just you.'

I swallowed again and let go of his face, avoiding his eyes. Fucking embarrassing.

Antonio chuckled softly and pressed equally soft kisses on my cheeks and down my neck.

'A-asshole,' I croaked in-between suppressed groans, 'I thought you'd want to fuck me to oblivion, not… not… kiss and hug me to oblivion, dammit…'

'I haven't seen your face or body in months, Lovino…' Antonio muttered, shoving a hand under my shirt and caressing my back. 'Rather than toss you on the bed and molest you like some kind of wild animal, I'd firstly like to… umm… lovingly love you?'

'Lovingly love me?' I repeated.

'You know!' Antonio smiled and blushed awkwardly as I stared to wipe his tearstained face. 'I-I'd like to actually really look at you and feel you and stuff.'

I felt my cheeks heating up as well. 'W-well, that's… that's pretty romantic, actually...'

'And then, after that's been done, I'll seriously fuck you up. Or you can fuck me up, I don't care. Just keep in mind you and I may get hurt in the process.'

In his eyes, I could finally see a quick glimpse of a restrained beast, waiting patiently for its release. It made me quiet and it made me shiver and it made me want to violently press him against a wall or something, but all in a very good way.

'You're an interesting man, you know that?' I eventually said. 'So you're planning to have world-destructing sex with me right after having tooth-rottenly sweet sex with me?'

'I'll let you catch your breath first,' Antonio promised.

I snorted. 'You mean I'll let you catch your breath first.'

'Oh no.'

Antonio shook his head, walked over to the bed and dropped me on the mattress, crawling over me right after.

'I'd like you to let me make love to you, first. If that's okay with you.'

I stared up at him and his smiling, but determined face hovering above me, and I smiled a bit, stretching my arms out to bring him closer to me (because fuck, I think we both knew I preferred being bottom anyway, but I'd rather kill myself than admitting that).

'Okay, m-make love to me first, then,' I mumbled. 'Be…' I hesitated, stroking his (painfully red) cheeks, '…be as… as sweet as you want, d-dammit…'

'I will. Oh I will.' Antonio kissed me again and finally lay down on top of me.

I closed my eyes and tried to hide my slowly widening smile as he started pulling of my shirt.

'Okay?' Antonio mumbled.

'Okay,' I nodded, loosening my pants as he, as far as I could hear, got rid of his.

'I love you, Lovino.'

'It's really weird when you say that while taking a tube of lube out of my pocket.'

'Well, it's true anyway.'

'I know it's true – but still. You should have seen your face – like you were telling that lube how much you loved it.'

He smiled extra broadly. 'I love lube, Lovino.'

'Dammit.' I started to chuckle. 'Fucker, don't make me laugh… I-I waited way too long for this to happen, so…'

'I won't let you wait any longer, sweetie. Not a minute. Not even a second.'

Proving he was a man that always kept his promise, Antonio wasted no time with silly, unimportant things, like removing all of our clothes or the like before he started preparing me – no, he just pushed my legs apart and inserted a slick finger inside of me right away.

'Ah,' I said, my voice barely a whisper, and bit my lower lip in anticipation as Antonio pushed and wiggled and rubbed my entrance with that one finger. It wasn't before too long I felt him pushing in a second finger and dammit, he sure should have warned me before also shoving that third finger inside.

But god, it felt good.

I gripped the mattress underneath me firmly and moaned, my eyes closed again, my lower body slowly rocking in that same slow rhythm as Antonio's scissoring, wonderful fingers.

'A-ah… oh… y-you're… hmmn… ahh, A-Antonio…'

I lifted one of my hands and panted loudly as I blindly slid it down my quivering body, searching for my very eager erection – but Antonio beat me to it and already took a fantastically good hold on my dick before my own hand was even close.

'O-oh shit,' I heard myself groan when he started jerking me off, his hand moving up and down and up and down and oh.

'You're so hot,' Antonio said in a low, almost emotional voice, pushing his fingers in even deeper, 'y-you're so amazingly hot and great, I-I can't believe I managed to go on without you, for such a long time…'

He covered the tip of my erection with his thumb and moved it around in teasing little circles.

'Fuck fuck fuck fuck so good,' I whined, panted, gasped, everything, and helplessly flailed my arms at him.

Hold me hold me hold me hold me more more more love me love me love me more more more

It sure was a good thing Antonio had learned that weird language based on jolting and spastic gestures and movements I only seemed to "speak" whenever we were having sex, because he understood what I was desperately trying to tell him in between my moans and cries of pleasure. He all of a sudden pulled his fingers back – and before I was even able to register the strange emptiness, it was filled up again with something that was bigger than his fingers.

'Gah— Ahh, I… oh g-god, Antonio, yes, y-yes…'

Antonio's breath hitched as well and he had to pause and take in a deep, shaky breath before he decently positioned himself in me, over me, on top of me, and pressed multiple kisses on my hot face as he started moving.

Slowly, carefully. Pushing my leg back with a sweaty, but warm hand and sighing contently as he heard my gasped and half-muffled mumbling and moaning.

'You… you should open your eyes, sweetie…' he murmured.

I complied – well I happened to be in quite a good mood – and looked up at his flushed, yet overjoyed face, his eyes lighting up in a way I hadn't seen in months as soon as our eyes met.

'Hi Lovi…'

'You're— ah! Ahh…' I almost bit my tongue when he hit a particular good spot inside of me, but took his face in my trembling hands anyway.

Antonio, who had been slowly but surely speeding up, swiftly slamming his cock into me over and over again, was a bit distracted when he felt my touch and looked at me questioningly, tiny sweat drops falling off his chin.

'Y-you're fucking amazing,' I croaked out, a bit awkwardly patting his sandpaper face, 'and I love you.'

Antonio's eyes grew twice their size and got a lot more glassy and teary, too, but not a single tear escaped from his eyes as he abruptly intertwined one of his hands with my hand.

He didn't say a word, he just brought our connected hands to his mouth and kissed the back of my hand – softly, so softly.

I watched him doing that and for some reason, that was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I felt him picking up the same quick rhythm as he started to make love to me again, and I heard myself stammering and whimpering and crying out I wanted more of him, but that image, of him, holding my hand and kissing it like that…

It continued to float around in my head, even when I all of a sudden reached my climax.

Hell, it even stuck around when I got my second orgasm, a while later.

And my third.

And my fourth.

And… y-yeah.

\0o0/

'Hey, Lovi?'

'Hmm?'

'How do you feel about kids?'

It really was just like Antonio to fire such a serious question at me, right after having sex.

Although he did wait until we both couldn't possibly go for yet another round, I guess.

Instead of answering him, I looked at him. A still-quickly breathing Antonio was lying on top of me. And that's not all, no, our sticky, bruised lower bodies were also still touching, which was really gross and stuff, but since it was him and since that really was the best sex-marathon I had in fucking months, I allowed him to be sticky and dirty with me as much as he wanted to be.

Besides, I was tired. Getting fucked by a hot Spaniard and fucking that same hot Spaniard so many times on just one mere day – that really asks a lot of your body. Mine clearly hated me right now. I swear, both my penis (completely milked) and my ass (seriously outlived) were complotting something to make me die an horrible death one of these days. I was sure of it.

Antonio folded his arms on my chest, his head leaning on top of them, his eyes shining expectantly.

'I mean, you said you'd think about us, getting children and stuff. You know, that one time, after we got married…'

'Yeah, I know.' I frowned. 'And I did think about it.'

'You did?' Antonio's voice got high and hopeful.

'I did,' I said, ruffling his hair.

'And? You… are you willing to have some kids with me?'

'Sure.' I shrugged, for as far I was able to shrug while lying on my back. 'But I need to remind you about the fact that I hate kids.'

Antonio pouted. 'Aww, that's not true, you like them!'

'No. I hate them.'

'But you always play so nicely with the kid next door!'

'That's not playing. That's hunting.'

'Don't deny it, Lovi, I've seen the two of you playing tag in our front yard!~' Antonio chuckled, endeared by the thought alone.

I shot a glare at him. 'Antonio, I'm telling you that wasn't a fucking game, I was following that little bitch around because she always snatches our newspaper and I wasn't going to let her get away with it this time!'

'Ah.' Antonio sighed.

'Damn kid still got away with it, too!' I growled. 'Fast little creep. Next time, I'll kidnap her bastard parents to some vacation island and watch her cry as they slowly forget about her! That'll teach that fucking brat!'

'Aren't you the cutest.'

'Shut up.'

Antonio rolled off me and sighed again, staring at the ceiling.

'So you don't want kids, after all.'

Silence. Not the good kind of silence.

'N-no, that's not true…' I hesitated, turning myself to him, 'I do want kids. But only if they are ours.'

Antonio gave me a confused look. 'What do you mean?'

Shit, asshole wanted me to say it out loud. Well fine.

'I-I only want kids,' I muttered, fidgeting and looking away, 'if… if they will be our kids. Genetically and all.'

'Ah?' Antonio said.

'But that's impossible, right? I mean, first of all, we're both male, and second of all, we're personifications of countries. We can't… breed.'

'Breed, Lovi?'

'Yes, breed.'

'That sounds disgusting.'

'Shut u—'

'I like disgusting.'

He gave me a certain look and I could feel my ass spontaneously clench, which was pretty painful right now.

'No.' I firmly said. 'I like my ass too much. I want to protect it from getting fucked apart by you. Back off.'

He snickered. 'Oh, but you know, in that case, you can always use mine instea—'

'And I like your ass too much as well. Hell, I like yours even better. Spare our goddamn butts, Antonio! Show some compassion, damn it.'

'Ahaha! Just kidding, Lovi!~ My butt will explode if we did it one more time!~'

I smirked. 'So? You'd let it happen if I'd mount you right now.'

'I would,' Antonio nodded.

'You like living on the edge, don't you?'

'As if you would push me away if I'd whisper in your ear you I'd like to passionately enter you once more…'

'F-fuck you.'

'I knew it.'

'G-go to hell, dammit!'

Antonio laughed and scooted closer to me, pecking a swift kiss on my nose. Then he pulled me in his arms, which were kind of cold and wet, because his sweat had cooled off. So I cursed and hastily grabbed some more blankets to cover us, before shamelessly cuddling him like the fucking cuddle cat I was.

Then it got quiet again.

And it stayed quiet for quite a long time, too.

I thought Antonio had fallen asleep – which wouldn't be that surprising, it was already past midnight after all – but then I could hear him inhaling sharply, as if he had been thinking about something and finally had collected the courage to come out and say what he had in mind out loud.

'So we won't get ourselves some kids, then.'

'No.' I bit my lower lip and nuzzled his arm, not knowing what else I could do. 'I guess we won't.'

'That's too bad.' Antonio sounded sorrowful. 'We'd be good fathers.'

'Better than most countries, yes,' I forced myself to agree, since I didn't want him to be sad.

'At least better than America and England.'

'Why's that?'

'Didn't you hear? They broke up last month, or so I heard.'

I huffed. 'So what, they break up every fucking week.'

'No no, this time, it was for real.' Antonio thought about it some more. 'Apparently, England couldn't stand being unable to give America some kids anymore. And America hated seeing England suffering like that, so… they ended it. Their relationship, I mean. It's so bittersweet, it's sad, really.'

'Then don't fucking giggle while saying it, dammit.'

'Sorry.' Antonio grinned. I couldn't see it, but I knew he did, that bastard.

'I wonder how they're going to face each other during the meeting tomorrow, then,' I pondered.

'As for me, I couldn't care less.' Antonio yawned and snuggled against me affectionately. 'The only thing that matters right now, Lovi, is that we are together again.'

'Well… well, it certainly is important, yes,' I admitted with a small smile, hugging the warm body hugging me.

'Shall we sleep now, sweetie?' He kissed my bare shoulders.

'O-okay.'

I shrugged, but not too much, since I didn't want to sucker-punch his chin or something. I mean, he could bite his tongue, blood everywhere, and that's just not nice.

'Good night then, Lovi.'

'Yeah, good… good night.'

Soon, Antonio was fast asleep, still holding me, the side of his face pressed to my chest. I swear, if only I had been slightly more aroused, I'd have encouraged him to tweak and/or lick my nipples again and oh, it would have been good, because sex.

But I was tired. Too tired. And my bum still ached – not too much, but there was a slight burning.

So like Antonio, I decided to obey my butt and sleep.

Maybe we could have a quicky before the meeting started tomorrow morning. Nice and slow and without having a care in the world. It was just the two of us, anyway…

…

…or so I thought.