CHAPTER FOUR: Somebody Please Shoot me!
Yumichika had somehow managed to get Renji, Shuuhei, Matsumoto, Kira, Ikkaku and somehow Ichigo to go dancing in one of those 'fruity' clubs he liked so much at district 55 in East Rukongai. Somehow Kenpachi had ended up coming along with them because apparently Ukitake was babysitting Yachiru and he had nothing else to do. Renji didn't buy that crap; the bigger shock was that THE Kuchiki Byakuya had come along with them, spouting some crap about needing to make sure Renji did not soil squad six name any further. Renji didn't feel like pointing out the obvious bullshit so he kept quiet.
Yumichika hadn't specified what type of clothing they were to wear so Kenpachi, Kira, Ikkaku and Shuuhei came in their Shihakushō, Byakuya was in an expensive Silver and black robe with his usual scarf around his neck… he looked ridiculously out of place, but Renji opted not to tell him but he had a feeling his captain was aware of how he stuck out like a sore thumb.
Matsumoto was dressed in a long Navy blue Chinese style dress, with a slit on a side that ran up to her thigh, Renji had to spend over thirty minutes listening to Yumichika argue with Matsumoto about the later trying to trying to steal the spot light from him, which was ridiculous as Yumichika was dressed just as seductively as her. If the little shit didn't already belong to Ikkaku, Renji would have been all over him.
Yumichika wore tight pants with vertical black and white stripes on it, Renji guessed the material was either very stretchy or Yumichika magically popped into it… Yep his ass looked that great in it the black low heeled boots he wore only made the view more spectacular (He wasn't interested in Yumichika he was simply appreciating the… Eh, beauty) His shirt was light purple and Renji assumed it was two size too big as the neck was wide enough to reveal Yumichika exposed shoulder blade. Yumichika was definitely up to something. It took everything he had not to let his blood flow south and Renji had a feeling the little shit knew that!
Renji was in tight black denim, dark brown combat boots, as well as black dress shirt with the first three buttons, opened revealing bronzed tattooed skin, his hair was not in its usual high pony tail but was left flowing, although it was styled in a way that covered the tattoos on his head. Ichigo was dressed in a similar way only he had on orange coloured tie that hung loosely on his chest, revealing tanned skin and showing muscles that were proof of his training… Their outfits were undoubtedly picked by Yumichika. Another clue that the little shit was once again up to no good!
Yumichika moved towards Renji for a dance but was blocked by Ikkaku who had somehow popped in front of the effeminate man. Renji took that as his cue to back away slowly… Which was his first mistake.
"Hmm, you clean up nice Red." A masculine voice hummed sensually in Renji's ears, he turned around and found himself face planted in Kenpachi's chest. Large arms snaked around his waist almost possessively, he tried to remove the giants' hand but discovered much to his shitty luck that the hand refused to budge, instead Kenpachi bent and ran his fingers through Renji's hair and whispered in his ears.
"Sorry Red, I'll be playing with you today." While Renji was shocked out of his mind, he wasn't prepared for the giant to nibble on his ear and he most definitely hadn't expected to let out a silent moan… That might not have been so silent after all.
For the third time that week the look on his captain's face was utterly shocked, Ichigo' facial expression was worse!
Renji wished the ground would open up and swallow him put Alas, fate was against him today. His embarrassment only increased tenfold when Yumichika miraculously popped behind him, leaving him in-between the two squad 11 officers.
"Taicho, you should ask Renji for a dance, he's a good dancer."
How the fuck did he know that. He heard Kenpachi respond with a grunt before he could voice out his thoughts, the little bastard had disappeared and appeared once again, this time with a drink in his hand. Usually, he would have been extremely suspicious, but the fact that he was in a club, with some of his friends… and Captain, with Kenpachi's arm around his waist, and almost no space between him and the said captain. Not to mention the whole moaning thing earlier was enough to drown all suspicions, he was too sober to deal with all this.
Sadly he should have been suspicious as the drink Yumichika was called Death in the Afternoon and contained absinthe, Never the less it was all the boost he needed before dancing with Kenpachi… Another mistake he would forever remember.
Renji wasn't sure how he ended up in the middle of the dance floor, grinding his butt against the squad 11 captains groin, roaming his hands all over the said captain's body, he didn't register the look of utter Horror in Ichigo's face, the twinkle in Yumichika and Matsumoto's eyes, the blush on Kira, Shuuhei, and his captains face, and dear God, he wished he did. All he was aware of was the music (Diplo ft. Lazerdisk Party Sex- Set It Off) as well as the low grunts Kenpachi was making.
He was really NEVER going to be able to live this down, and he sincerely wished that someone would just shoot him.