Author's note: Portion at the end ties back to Ch. 1 where Bucky FINALLY confesses

Summary: Bucky's experiencing some trouble with words, but it eventually leads him to the moment this whole thing started.

Okay, this is it. I'm gonna do it. Bucky sucks in a deep breath, walks the two steps it takes to get to his kitchen and opens his mouth.

"Hey, uh, Steve—"

"Hmm?" Steve looks up and is sucking half his finger.

Bucky freezes up and everything he was about to say escapes his mind. Steve is standing by the oven door in Bucky's kitchen with a bowl of icing tucked tucked in his one arm. He's got this stupid apron on and it makes Steve look absolutely fucking adorable. He'd insisted on wanting to bake a cake which Bucky protested greatly because that would mean going out to buy stuff, and today was just.. not a great day.

He woke up feeling like a piece crap, and then he felt even worse because he was supposed to go out with Steve to see a movie, but then Steve took one look at him and insisted they stay home. And now Steve's baking a cake in the hopes of lifting up Bucky's mood.

He's touched, really, and from the smell he can't wait to eat it. But he also feels bad because he did actually want to see this movie and his stupid fucking problems got in the way of everything.

"It's okay Buck, seriously," Steve had said as he stepped inside and slipped off his jacket. "We can see the movie any time, and if it goes out of theaters we'll rent, okay?"

"But—"

Steve responded by throwing his jacket on Bucky's head and that was the end of the conversation. It's amazing how much Steve puts up with Bucky's shit and is actually 100% willing to go along with whatever. At the start of their relationship, Bucky thought Steve was just showering him with pity nonstop. And then afterwards Bucky would beat himself up because really? Steve isn't like that and he needs to stop doubting every single little thing.

That's basically how he led himself to his current predicament. With Steve preoccupied in the kitchen, it gave Bucky a lot of time to think and ponder over things. So he made his decision and was on the verge of saying something but now he's literally frozen to the spot and can't seem to find any words.

Steve licks up the rest of his finger and focuses a little too much on the icing. "Was there something you wanted to say?"

"Huh?" Bucky blurts out stupidly.

"You said, 'Hey Steve!' and then just stopped."

Bucky tenses up at the reminder. Shit. What should he do now?!

He really only sees two options here: continue with what he was saying or just change topics. Except that's really hard right now because he doesn't want to do either. If he continues, he'll get it out of the way instead of worrying over it. But Steve might faint or hate him or look at him in disgust so that's kinda out. He could change topics, but then he'll be worrying over this and he doesn't wanna worry. It's a safer bet though, so maybe changing topics would be good. But then again—

He feels a whack on his forehead and yelps as he stumbles backwards. The perpetrator is in fact Steve, who has a wooden spoon in his hand. He doubles over at Bucky's reaction and points to the red mark on his forehead.

Bucky's face goes up in flames and he scowls while Steve keeps on laughing. It's hard to stay mad though and his scowl is already threatening to quirk up into a smile. Steve's features are lighting up and his eyes are shining and his cheeks are nice and flushed and he's so happy and… fuck. This is gonna be a lot harder than Bucky thought.

"S-sorry sorry!" Steve apologizes once he's semi-calmed down. He takes a deep breath and rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry, again. Really. But you weren't saying anything! You were thinking so hard I thought you'd gone into some coma or something."

Bucky shoots him an unimpressed look. "Right, a coma. Because that makes total sense."

"Oh shut up! You know what I meant," Steve laughs and twirls the spoon in his hands.

Bucky huffs and leans against the doorway. Steve is the biggest dork ever and he wants to take that all in. He wants to etch this into his memory: Steve in the kitchen with his stupid apron and his flushed cheeks and pink lips and a shit-eating grin on his really adorkable face.

He doesn't realize how long he's staring until Steve bites his lip and glances between the oven and Bucky. "So, um. You were saying…?"

Bucky crosses his arms so he can hug around his middle in that awkward way he does whenever he's nervous. He should probably say something, not stare at his boyfriend like a creep. He opens his mouth but doesn't even get a word out because the oven dings at that exact moment.

"Oh!" Steve's face lights up in excitement. He switches on the oven light to inspect the cake. He nods approvingly, opens the door and is about to take it out.

"Wait, you ding-dong!" Bucky quickly steps around him and shoves a pair of oven mitts into his face. "You forgot to put these on."

Steve looks sheepish as he accepts the mitts. Bucky rolls his eyes and stands close to make sure Steve doesn't do any other horribly stupid things, like burn his beautiful wonderful hands.

Bucky wants to reprimand him for that but Steve looks so giddy with excitement at the sight of the cake. It's a very nice golden brown and even Bucky has to admit it looks really good. Steve proceeds to slather the cake in vanilla.

"Vanilla?" Bucky wrinkles his nose.

"What? I thought you liked vanilla!"

Bucky looks away and frowns. "Kinda wanted chocolate," he mumbles. On his bad days, chocolate is usually a good comfort food.

Steve stops spreading and blinks down at the icing. "I could always.. boil a pot of chocolate real quick?"

"Y-You don't have to." Bucky hunches over and shrinks in on himself.

Steve stares at him for longer than necessary and it's making him squeemish. Finally Steve chuckles and says, "I think I saw a pack of chocolate around here somewhere."

The frown deepens on Bucky's face and he stares at the ground guiltily. "I mean, vanilla's fine—" He squawks as Steve ruffles his hair and completely messes it up. And it took him all of two minutes to brush it nicely and make it at least semi-presentable!

"Steve!" He shrieks. Steve keeps ruffling it up and is now using both hands to do so, the cake and icing forgotten on the table.

Bucky tries to squirm out of his reach and does eventually make a break for it. Steve chases him around the kitchen a couple times and then out into the living room. Bucky shrieks and makes noises every time Steve gets close. He vaults over the back his couch, nearly runs into the bookcase and ducks safely into his bedroom.

"Bucky!" Steve pounds on the door and tries to wrench it open. Bucky's on the other side holding the doorknob back and trying not to let his feet skid forward.

They continue yelling and laughing and everything Bucky was worrying about before is forgotten.

The next time Bucky attempts to tell Steve this thing is three days later. They're on Steve's couch watching every single movie made during the World War II era (because why the fuck not) and Bucky figures hey, why not? He's in a good mood, they're watching movies, he's curled up next to his boyfriend, it's the perfect moment! So might as well, right?

WRONG.

It's a spur of the moment thing, he gets that, but some things are best left unplanned! He opens his mouth, ready to say those words when Loki chooses this precise moment to pounce into his lap and spill popcorn everywhere.

Bucky makes a noise of anguish at the perfectly interrupted moment. The cat just purrs and sits there all smug in his lap, as if to say 'Ha ha, I won you lost!'

"Loki!" Steve admonishes and looks down sternly at the cat. Loki cowers his head in response and rubs his ears, his way of trying to gain affection from his master.

"No, do not give me that! Don't pretend to be all cute!" He shoos the cat off Bucky's lap and he slinks off into another room. Steve throws an apologizing look and picks off the stray popcorn.

"We can always make more?" Steve's hopeful voice suggests.

"It's fine, don't worry," Bucky mumbles a little dejectedly.

Steve chuckles and pecks Bucky's forehead as he stands up. He heads off to the kitchen to prepare another bag, having mistaken Bucky's reaction due to the sacrifice of their popcorn.

Bucky tries not to groan too loudly and slumps down.

"It's okay!" Steve's voice calls out. "We've still got some cinnamon popcorn left!"

Bucky shoves a pillow into his face and groans all the more louder.

They say third time's the charm, so Bucky tries.

And of course he fails, just like everything else in his life because he's just one big fail.

"Hey, you want some ice cream?" Steve nudges Bucky's shoulder and points his chin towards the nearby vendor's cart.

Bucky hums in response and they walk up to the cart. Steve requests mint chocolate chip while Bucky settles for mango and cookie dough. Steve gives him a weird look but just shakes his head and laughs. He's gotten used to Bucky's weird ice cream choices by now, so this should come as no surprise.

"That is the strangest combination ever." Steve eyes the cone in Bucky's hands.

Bucky pauses mid-licking and squints up at Steve. He licks up the rest of his cone and shrugs. "I couldn't decide between the two so I got both."

"It's still weird," Steve snorts.

"At least I didn't get something boring." He gives a pointed look at the mint chocolate chip.

"Hey! Mint chocolate chip is a classic I'll have you know!"

"Uh-huh. And boooooooring!" Bucky draws out the word right in Steve's ear.

Steve jerks back and whacks Bucky's shoulder. "I'm just original, that's all," he sniffs.

"Yeah, okay there grandpa." He's about to take a bite of his ice cream when Steve shoves at his face and next thing he knows he's got mango up his nose.

"Oh my gosh!" Steve stops walking and covers his mouth. His eyes go wide at the mush of mango on Bucky's cheek and Bucky's eyes bug out at the indentation in his ice cream.

There's this beat of silence where neither one knows what's going to happen, just Steve staring at Bucky and Bucky staring at his ice cream. Finally, Bucky slowly brings his head up and gives the most penetrating look of betrayal he can come up with.

"You did not," he whispers.

Steve's shoulders start shaking and he turns away. It doesn't help that Bucky looks like a lunatic right now with his face covered in mock-rage and mango ice cream.

"Steve," he continues whispering. "What have you done?"

Steve's unable to contain the muffled noises and ends up snorting against his hand. The noises become louder and Steve is full-out laughing at this point, holding his stomach and attracting weird stares from nearby pedestrians. Bucky huffs and wipes off the ice cream. He attempts to lick it off his fingers while watching Steve now with tears forming in his eyes.

The image of a laughing Steve not giving a care about the onlookers does something to Bucky's heart. He's just so.. beautiful and dorky and a huge punk and Bucky wants to—he wants to say it. Right here, right now. Even if he does have mango on his face and Steve is wheezing and gasping for breath like an asthmatic person.

"Steve, I—"

"Mommy! What are those two weird men doing?"

"Shh, sweetie that's not very nice to point and stare."

A woman mouths 'I'm so sorry!' at them and pulls her little 5 year old along. Of course the moment's interrupted again and Bucky can't find the words again.

Steve calms down and sucks in a deep breath. "Sorry. We probably looked like a bunch of loons, didn't we?"

Bucky tries not to let the disappointment show on his face. "Eh, just you really," he replies like it's no big deal.

"Har har. Very funny." Steve rolls his eyes and plants a sloppy kiss on Bucky's cheek.

"Hey!"

Steve releases his mouth with a wet smack and beams at Bucky. "Think of it as an apology kiss."

"…I think I preferred the mango," Bucky mutters as a blush rises in his cheeks.

Bucky tries and fails, and tries and fails, and tries and— Okay, you get the point now. Whether it's the fourth, fifth, tenth, twentieth, or gazillionth time it doesn't seem to make a difference! Bucky tries and fails because he either chickens out at the last second or something interrupts the mood and he's once again at a loss for words.

His limited and very minuscule group of friends? They don't help.

Sam's advice is way too forthcoming and direct, which is just—NO.

Tony… absolutely not. He does go to Pepper, but her advice is the same as Sam's so that's also a big fat no.

Clint doesn't understand what the big fuss is about, Phil claims he's no romantic expert (he clearly is he's courting a freakin cellist), and of course Nat tells him to man up as usual.

"But Naaaaaaaat," he whines into his cell phone.

"Don't 'Naaaaaaaat' me. If you're gonna do it, just do it. Stop being a little bitch about it." Her no-nonsense tone is starting to come out.

"You don't think I'm trying?"

"Clearly not."

"It's just." He sighs and rubs his face. "The timing."

"What about it?" She sounds very unimpressed.

"The timing. It's never.. right."

"Of course it's not gonna be right," she says matter-of-factly. "You can't plan for these things you big goof. Just say it and be done with it."

"Easy for you to say," he scoffs.

"It is easy, actually. Stop being a bitch," she repeats and cuts off the line.

Bucky spends the next half hour banging his head against the wall.

The truth is, Nat's right (as usual). You can't plan for these things, you just have to let it happen. There's no way you can plan for it because no matter how perfect you try and try and repeatedly try to make it, there's no point if you don't mean it.

You can't force yourself to say something, is basically what Bucky's learned.

After hiding out in his bathroom with an almost hour-long shower, slightly panicking, throwing a bunch of his flaws at Steve's face, and Steve reassuring him, does he finally say it. The words he's been trying to get out since the cake thing.

"I love you," he blurts out finally.

The look on Steve's face is priceless.

"You—"

"I love you," Bucky repeats again, this time more confidently. "And um, I mean it too."