Summary: Bucky's friends all devise this huge plot to embarrass him. It works very well.
"You should try some yoga, I think you'd really like it," Nat suggests one morning, completely out of the blue.
Bucky pauses in his eating, his spoonful of cereal caught in the air. He angles his head towards Nat and says slowly, "Yoga?"
"Yoga," she repeats with a lift of her chin.
"…Why?"
"It's a hobby."
"Um, okay?" She kind of leaves it at that so Bucky figures it's safe to resume his eating. His spoon is a couple inches from his mouth when she starts speaking again.
"Besides, it's not like you have anything better to do with your time."
He pauses again and frowns at how close the spoon is, then sets it back down in his bowl so he can give her his full attention. "What's this about, really?"
"I've been a member of this yoga place for a while, and I figured maybe you wanted to join me on these excursions," she shrugs and takes a sip of her coffee.
"You know that doesn't really answer my question."
"You asked and I answered. What more do you want?" She lifts a challenging eyebrow at him, as if daring him to interrogate her further because she could go all day by the time Bucky burns out.
Bucky holds her gaze for a couple more minutes until he sighs and picks up his spoon. He makes sure to stuff the cereal in his mouth before she can interrupt again, because right now he has a date with his cereal and he's not even gonna let anything get in the way of that. Bucky holds his cereal in a very high regard.
Nat stares at him while he eats, her eyes following his every movement in that creepy, CIA agent way of hers. Then she slips off the high stool from the counter and walks past him in a flurry. "Just think about it," she says on her way past and gives him a gentle pat on the shoulder.
The whole yoga topic isn't brought up again, so naturally Bucky forgets about it until Sam of all people brings it up a week later in the grocery store. Bucky had been particularly lazy that week, so Sam, being the good-natured buddy he was, offered (more like dragged Bucky off his lazy ass) to help him with the grocery shopping and normal errand running.
Bucky's comparing melons when Sam asks, "Do you still work out?"
"Mhmm, sometimes," Bucky hums distractedly. "Hey, which one looks better? I think this other one has a bruise but I can't tell." He offers up the two for Sam to examine.
"The one on the left," he answers. He reaches behind to place a bag of apples in the cart, continuing with his previous question, "So like, running?"
"Huh? Um.. sort of? Sometimes? Like maybe when I'm bored but it's not an everyday thing." Bucky stares intently at a stand of grapes nearby and contemplates whether he should buy a pack or not. He's trying to be a bit more healthy instead of snacking on whatever junk food is lying around, and grapes seem like a good enough substitute for potato chips.
"How about yoga?"
"What?" The brief mention of yoga forces Bucky to drag his eyes away from the grape stand and hone in on Sam.
"Yeah, yoga," Sam shrugs and wheels the cart forward. "That's kind of like working out, isn't it?"
"Um, I guess? I've never really given much thought to it though… why?" Bucky tilts his head at him in question.
"Nah man, I'm just wondering. Do you wanna get those pack of grapes or not because you keep staring at them." Sam must have noticed how the grape stand kept calling back Bucky's attention as he's only half listening to their conversation. It's not his fault! He's actually trying to be healthier here and those grapes do look really good.
He narrows his eyes at Sam, because he's pretty sure Nat had mentioned something about yoga the week before but he can't really remember.
"Dude," Sam nudges his shoulder. "Grapes."
"…Right." Bucky gives him one last look before heading towards the grape stand.
The third time it happens Bucky starts getting a little suspicious. Not like 'I'm gonna interrogate the hell out of you' kind of suspicious and more along the lines of, 'Okay I suspect something but I'm gonna let it slide and see what happens.' Stark had asked him to come down to the lab as Bucky had been complaining about an ache in his left shoulder, so there he sat waiting in the lobby of Stark Tower for someone to come and collect him. He wasn't expecting Pepper, even if it was a welcome surprise.
"James!" Pepper Potts walked towards him with a wide grin that spoke volumes of how much she missed him.
Bucky smiled back and stood up to receive the woman in her arms. "Hey, Pep. Long time no see," he murmured against her hair.
When she pulled back it was to swat him on the arm, in an affectionate manner of course. "Shame on you for not calling until now! We've been dying to have you over for dinner."
Bucky rolled his eyes, but she had already turned around and started walking away to notice. He followed after her and ducked into the nearby elevator before it could close on him. He shot her a look at her feigned innocence. "Thanks for holding the doors for me."
"Just a little revenge for earlier," she said with a smug lilt to her voice. "Also, don't think I didn't see you rolling your eyes at me."
He snorted at that. "When you live with someone like Tony, and for so long, I'm not surprised."
They both laughed at that. Bucky watched as the floor numbers blinked by at a rapid rate. It would be a while until they reached the 53rd floor, but he didn't mind the wait or the silence. It was a companionable one, and he and Pepper had known each other for so long already. It makes him realize that even though the loss of his arm sucked like nobody's business, it also brought about a lot of good things in his life.
And not to toot his horn or anything, but he's proud to say he has officially stopped sweating like a pig every time he steps foot into an elevator. If there's one thing he hates aside from heights, it's enclosed spaces with no room to breathe, no escape routes or anything. He supposes he's gotten used to it over the months as he kept coming back to Stark Tower for his monthly check-ups. Pepper (the awesome lady that she is aside from maybe Nat and his three fucking annoying yet lovable sisters) had always asked if he would rather take the stairs instead, but every time Bucky forced himself to just step foot in the elevator and ride it out. Besides, there was no way he could walk 53 flights of stairs, and while Pepper could no doubt run 5 miles in heels he wasn't about to subject her to that horror.
So yeah, sue if he almost pumped his fist in the air when Pepper didn't ask her usual, "Stairs or elevator?"
A couple more minutes pass, the elevator just passing the 26th floor, when Pepper speaks up. "So I decided to take up some yoga."
Bucky blinks and turns to her ever so slowly. "Yoga," he repeats in a flat voice.
"Figured it was about time I get in shape. I'm not getting any younger you know," she responds and casually flicks off a piece of lint with her neatly chiseled nails.
"Uh-huh." He keeps staring at her, waiting for her to say something more but she doesn't elaborate and so the topic is dropped. Bucky does keep flicking his eyes back to her though, trying to find any change in her demeanor but Pepper is as calm as ever and doesn't seem that interested in coming back to their previous conversation.
Alrighty then.
The fourth time he snaps. Well, technically fifth time because Tony had also brought up the topic of yoga by the time Bucky reached his floor, but he and Pepper are like a pair so that only counts as the third time.
It's Clint who brings it up at dinner three days later. He's talking about some chic at the shooting range who's tried to hit on him multiple times throughout the week. Bucky doesn't point out the way Nat is practically seething as she scoops up more mashed potatoes for them with a little too much force. He's actually fearing for that spoon's handle right now.
"…And she kept saying she was doing yoga and like—"
Bucky fumbles with his fork and it makes an unattractive noise against his plate. "Wait what?"
"Yeah! And I'm like honey, I have a girlfriend whom I love so so so so so SO so so so much." Clint directs his litany of so's towards Nat with an adoring smile on his face.
She sends him an unimpressed look in response.
"Yoga?" Bucky repeats incredulously.
"I think she just mentioned that so I could stare at her—"
"Finish that sentence and you won't be waking up tomorrow," Nat says very neutrally. She fixes her boyfriend with a cool gaze and the color drains slightly from Clint's face.
"My statement still stands," Clint nearly squeaks out. "I love you so, so much."
"Uh-huh."
"Why the fuck does everyone keep bringing up yoga?"
They both still at the unexpected words spilling from Bucky's mouth and exchange a look.
"I mean first it's Nat, then Sam, Pepper, Stark, and now you!" He points to Clint at that.
"Er," is all Clint can come up with.
"Is this some kind of—" Bucky waves his hands about to find the right word, finally coming up with "—intervention or something?"
"James—" Nat starts.
"I mean fine if you all want me to go to yoga then that's fine! Everyone could have just told me instead of bringing it up in passing!"
Nat and Clint exchange another look.
"Fine!" Bucky continues on, the irritation still livid on his face. "Fine, I'll go do some damn yoga! Nat, where did you say you go again?"
"Uh."
If they were in any other situation, Bucky would have laughed at how bewildered and totally thrown off Nat looked. He wanted to document this moment forever in his mind.
"Sure, I'll— give me a moment," she flounders in a way that is so unnatural for her. She shakes herself out of her stupor and goes off in search of what Bucky assumes is the damn yoga information.
Clint just kind of stares and doesn't say anything the whole time.
"This damn yoga had better be worth it," Bucky grumbles to himself. He throws his mat unceremoniously onto the floor and ignores the looks sent his way. Fine, let them stare. He's already in a foul mood to begin with.
And to make matters worse, their instructor is one of those stereotypical, 'find your aura, relax, breathe, etc.' kind of people. Oh great, just great. Seriously, this yoga had better be worth it with the way everyone kept casually bringing it up.
"If everyone could do their warm-ups before we start, that would be wonderful," the instructor says in that annoyingly serene voice of his. He even makes sure to glance at each member in the room before starting with his own stretches.
Bucky tries not to growl in annoyance. He accidentally directs that towards a poor lady nearby who quickly fumbles for her mat and scrambles away to stand somewhere else. He releases an already exhausted sigh and starts bending down to do one of those stupid touching your toes exercises when the door opens in a flurry, a very dazed man walking through with the most amazing bed-head Bucky's ever seen.
Wait, hold on.
"Hey Mr. Chet! So sorry I'm late—"
"Steve?"
Steve startles at the sound of his name and his eyes wander over the crowd of people until they reach Bucky. His eyes widen and his mouth drops open a little with a slight furrow appearing between his eyebrows. Bucky's pretty sure he has an expression to match.
"Um," comes Steve's dumbfounded reply.
Bucky doesn't even how to respond, instead opting for an awkward wave.
Right. Well then.
A moment later, after both men have gotten over their momentary confusion and Steve has his mat set up next to Bucky's does he say, "I didn't know you did yoga."
Bucky rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "Um, neither did I to be honest."
Steve nods understandingly, taking Bucky's discomfort for something else. "Hey, it's okay! Mr. Chet's a really great instructor. You know, once you get past the whole.." He gestures to the instructor to indicate. Mr. Chet has a very zen expression on his face. Actually, it's so zen it's making Bucky very uncomfortable. Steve chuckles at his reaction. "Yeah, me too."
"Alright class!" Mr. Chet calls out to the group. "We shall now begin. First, let's start with the downward dog pose!"
Bucky comes to startling realization five minutes into the pose, one that will destroy him for the rest of the class and maybe certain parts of his anatomy.
He can't stop staring at Steve's whole body, bent at a perfect angle that closely resembles Mr. Chet's. His whole body is rippling with muscles and… he gulps at the sight of Steve's ass sticking up straight in the air. This is going to be a very difficult few hours, is what Bucky's decided.
The universe definitely hates him. He can barely concentrate on his own poses as his eyes are constantly drawn to Steve's perfect form.
And Jesus, those arms.
Bucky gulps again and looks up towards the ceiling. Maybe if just focuses on something else he can get this stupid tree pose right.
Nope, no he can't get this stupid tree pose right. He loses his footing a minute later when Steve suddenly bends backwards and his shirt rises with it. He can just see a sliver of Steve's stomach and his abs and the way they stretch and strain against his—
Goddammit.
"Mr. Barnes, do you need help?" Mr. Chet asks next to him. The instructor is making his rounds across the room to make sure everyone is doing their poses correctly.
Bucky's not even ashamed to say Mr. Chet has had to come to him at least ten times already.
"I'm just fine, sir," Bucky says with the most utmost surety.
Mr. Chet stares at him skeptically, but thankfully moves away once Bucky straightens up properly and fixes his footing. Of course that all goes to waste the moment Steve shifts, even if it is just a slight movement.
The class is finally over and Bucky is absolutely exhausted.
Mentally and physically.
He slowly rolls up his mat while his mind wanders in all different sorts of directions. He can barely focus on the simple task of rolling up his mat, that's how drained he is.
"You did pretty good for a beginner," Steve comments from above him. He's already got his rolled up mat tucked under his arm with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his track pants.
"Please," Bucky snorts. "I kept falling all over myself."
"Still not as bad as my first time doing yoga." Steve offers a small, reassuring smile.
"Yeah, well," Bucky huffs as he stands up, "My asshole friends were staging some sort of intervention against me. For some reason they all wanted me to take up yoga and—" He stops dead in the middle of the sentence and his eyes widen.
"Bucky?" Steve furrows his brow at him. "You okay?"
Holy shit. No fucking way.
"Buck?" Steve repeats again. "Do you need some water or something? You look like you just saw a ghost."
"Yeah," he finally breathes out. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just—give me a minute." He lifts a hand to his eyes and breathes in deeply. No fucking way.
"You knew," Bucky states the moment he barges into Nat and Clint's apartment. Thank god for spare keys.
The two perpetrators are sitting on the couch with what looks like Thai food stuffed halfway into their mouths. All he gets in response is Nat raising an inquisitive eyebrow while Clint merely shrugs.
"You guys knew about Steve!" Bucky throws up his hands in exasperation at their lack of a response.
"Please elaborate further."
"What did we know about Steve?"
"You two," he points an accusing finger and waves it between the two of them, "Knew about Steve doing yoga, didn't you?"
"Lover boy does yoga?" Nat asks in surprise.
"Oh please. Don't even try that one on me."
Nat just looks confused at this. "James—"
"No! You know what? I don't wanna hear it! I now know why you guys wanted me to take that stupid yoga class: It was because Steve was in it and you guys just wanted to make a laughing stock out of my misery!"
Nat and Clint continue to blink at Bucky in confusion. He releases a noise of obvious frustration and stalks towards the fridge to grab the leftover Thai food.
"You two are the worst!"
Later that night.
"I can't believe he didn't realize until now," Clint says as they're slipping into bed.
"Oh I know," Nat responds like she can't believe it either. "But what I can't believe is how we managed to get Stark in on this without blowing the whole thing to shit."
"Right? Oh, by the way how'd you find out Rogers took yoga classes?"
"CIA agent, remember?"
"Ahh right, forgot."