Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

A/n1: It's that time again! Antonio's going to take over narrating for a little while! Why? Because I felt like it! *runs around maniacally*

A/n2: Have another little funfact: did you know that the world's shortest poem is supposedly a Dutch one? It's true! It's created by writer and playwright Joost van den Vondel and it goes like this:
U
Nu!
(You
Now!)
That's it.
U, by the way, is the Dutch formal form of you. You know, when we address to people we don't know that well yet or something like that. We also have an informal you, which is jij or je.
The more you know!~
(Sorry for rambling on about Dutch things, by the way)

A/n3: I absolutely love books by Jane Austen. I read and loved them all! However, Mansfield Park – the quote below comes from this book – was a very difficult book for me to read.
I always thought Fanny Price, the main character, was a spineless weakling that whined too much about anything. I didn't consider her a likable person and I'd have liked to see her end up with Henry Crawford instead of that boring cousin of hers.
Then I read the book for a second time, and my opinion about Fanny had to be adjusted. She probably is one of the bravest characters of Jane Austen's work, and she (still talking about Fanny) delivered one of the best feministic speech in literature, back in those days.
Also, Crawford is a fucking douchebag.
…
I still would have liked to see her end up with him, though…

~~ And Three Makes Five ~~

Chapter 42:

Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their
power, which no subsequent connections can supply.
Jane Austen
(English novelist)

As I carefully guided Lovino back to the bedroom, he was still on fire and rattling on about some sort of silly plan he had spontaneously come up with.

'Okay, we'll do it like this: when he comes by next week and asks if I'm healing according to his healing schedule or whatever, I'll say I'm suffering from barely endurable pains, and the wound's starting to smell really bad, and I'll say that the kids haven't slept a wink in days and so on, until he feels so bad that he has no other choice than confess to us everything he knows about the PPSS assholes, just to ease his troubled mind!'

He glanced over his shoulder, excited to see how I responded to this scheme.

…

Not the way he had pictured it in his mind, probably.

'Really, now,' I calmly replied, with a puzzled look. 'That's your plan to make Guillermo spill the beans? Seriously?'

Lovino frowned and plucked on his lower lip, which looked way too adorable for his own good – but I kept my head cool and collected.

'Hm,' he finally muttered, 'you're right, I'll probably need to think this over.'

'You think?' I chuckled.

'But I'm on to something, don't you think? It's the only explanation for all of this. Delgado knows something that's probably making him worry his gray beard off, and the only way he can handle dealing carrying such a burden, is treating me and the kids like pieces of trash. That way, he might really believe he doesn't like us, and then, he won't be too depressed when things start changing around here!' Lovino reasoned.

'Did it ever cross your mind that maybe, just maybe, Guillermo just really hates you?' I suggested.

'No,' Lovino blandly said. 'That's too easy.'

'Too easy? Too easy for what?'

'Too easy for an explanation, dammit, everybody expects him to hate me!'

'I'm sure he hates your guts, yes.'

'That's because you're a naïve moron.' Lovino paused, realized what he had said and quickly turned around to clumsily clutch my shirt.

'But… but that's okay, I like that side of you, too! Don't feel bad about it, dammit!'

'I won't!' I said, beaming a happy smile at him.

Lovino seemed to be convinced and stared at my shirt, as if he wanted to analyze it, still having that cute, deep frown in his forehead.

'No, there's more, Antonio. There's more. I'm sure there is. And I won't rest until I've found out what the fuck that bastard is hiding from us!'

'Okay, time to rest, Lovi!'

He blinked his eyes confusedly. 'Huh?'

I smiled and helpfully pointed to the door behind him – the door of the bedroom.

I had successfully brought him back to the bedroom and he hadn't even noticed anything because of his thinking about questionable plans to manipulate Guillermo, that sweetheart. He looked so cute, glaring at the door like it had personally offended him and his entire family, it was endearing!~

'Are you…' now he glared at me, '…are you telling me to go to bed, Antonio?'

'You make it sound like I'm committing a crime,' I said.

'But I don't want to go to bed! I have slept more than enough now, dammit – it's already noon and I don't feel sleepy at all!' Lovino protested, like the grown man he was. He even folded his arms and took two steps back, away from me (but closer to the bedroom, it still was right behind him, after all).

I sighed and took two steps forward, because I can walk as well.

'Lovi, sweetie, I just want you to take it easy for now. Your head got a pretty hard blow from last night, you know? I walked behind you just now and the sight of that stitched-up wound gave me the chills. You should rest.'

He shook his head and puffed his cheeks. 'No!'

'Yes.'

'No!'

'Yes, Lovino.'

'No, you lousy dipshit, I won't!'

'Lovino, please,' I groaned, 'just for today. Okay? Just for today, I want you to go back to bed and rest. Stay awake, read a book, watch some television, I don't care - but please, rest.'

As much as I hated begging, I knew for a fact that Lovino didn't like to see me beg like this either – it made me look like a little bitch, or so he so very kindly told me once – and I could already tell from his pursed lips and rapid blinking that his determination to stay put was beginning to crumble.

'No,' he nevertheless said again.

Right – time for the finishing blow.

'Lovino.' I fired such a loving, adoring, pleading smile his way that his face got redder than it had been in days and when he was distracted like that, I wasted no time in wrapping my arms around his body and gently pulling it against me.

'W-what,' he moped, averting his eyes and keeping his arms folded.

'Pleeeeeease?' I rubbed my nose against his warm cheek. 'Please please please please, my lovely, sweet, cute Lovi? For me? Hmmmmmmm?~'

'God, you're such an ass-kisser,' he mumbled – but smiled, I saw he did – and allowed me to nuzzle his face for a while, before finally giving in.

'Fine. I'll… go to that stupid bed and have some stupid rest, dammit. Happy now?'

'Thrilled!~' I grinned. 'I'll bring you some soup later – I know how much you like soup in bed when you're feeling under the weather. And I'll come to get you when dinner's ready, okay?'

Lovino turned his face to look at me and chuckled mischievously. 'So you're planning to pounce a damaged man right before dinner, aren't you. Sly bastard.'

I didn't take the bait and just smiled, hugging him.

'I love you, Lovi.'

'I-I know, I know.' He finally unfolded his arms and embraced me as well. 'I love you too.'

No matter how many times he told me these wonderful words, they always managed to set fire to my heart in the best way possible – so I couldn't help softly tilting up his face and kissing him, as delighted as I felt right then.

Lovino sighed, gladly let it happen and even kissed me back, before slowly pushing my face away from his.

'You… you're getting too skinny, Antonio.'

'…I what?' I stammered, still too dazed to really get what he said.

'You're too skinny.' Lovi lost the flushed look and frowned, his hands running over my waist and tummy. 'You lost quite a lot of weight lately, haven't you?'

'Ah, yes.' I smiled apologetically. 'I tend to lose weight when I'm… under pressure.'

'That's not good.'

'No, it—'

'You better prepare some food that makes you grow some fucking love-handles, dammit, before you float away on a windy day!'

I chuckled. 'Alright, shall I make some fries for dinner, then?'

'Only if they're fat fries.' Lovino huffed. 'No French fries – just fat fries. With steak. And some fish sticks for the kids. Kids love that shit.'

'I'll see what I can do for you.'

Lovi nodded. 'Good. Now kiss me and get the hell out of my personal space, bone-ass.'

He didn't wait for me to respond, he just firmly grabbed my shirt, scratching my chest as he did, and pulled me towards him, giving me a harsh and deep kiss that asked for more.

But Lovino just swatted my grabby hands away when they tried to go down south and growled.

'Can't touch this, butt-munch – the kids are watching and judging you, molesting their poor, hurt father, right now.'

He smirked and I gasped, quickly looking to my side.

Empty corridor.

'Ohhhh, I made you look, dang, you're such an idiot,' Lovino giggled as I looked back – yes, he actually giggled , 'awwwww, now I almost feel bad, except that I don't. Sucker.'

'Loviiiii!' I pouted. 'You're mean.'

'Whatever.'

'And bald.'

'Damn, you can so forget getting any action this week now.'

I grinned. 'Liar.'

'I'm not lying. Oh god, maybe a bit.' Lovino laughed, actually blushing again, and quickly went inside the bedroom. 'Stop flirting, you asshole, just go already.'

I could go on forever about our stupid escapades, really, but let's just leave it at this. I mean, this ridiculous teasing continued for quite some more minutes and I even scored some more lovely kisses, before Lovino finally closed the door and commanded me to go bother our kids with my presence instead.

Alright then!

/0o0\

I always felt a lot better after hugging/kissing/jumping Lovi, so I was in such high spirits as I walked down the stairs, that I, at least for a moment, indeed feared I was going to float away. From happiness!~

Ohh, maybe I could hum a little song! That would be so nice! Walking down the stairs and humming – as if it's the most normal thing to do.

Yes, I think I was going to do that. Hum a little song. Now all I needed to do was think of a Spanish song I could hum to my heart's conte—

'Papa! Whatta you DOIN?! COME HERE, QUIK!'

As soon as I had descended the stairs, Matteo's shrill, panicky voice immediately made my heart skip a few beats and I instinctively looked around the hallway. Oh god, now what, what had happened – oh no, don't tell me they've killed each other off now that I didn't keep an eye on them for fifteen whole minutes, am I such a bad father, aaaaargh!

But then I saw Matteo, a couple of meters in front of me. Oh, and Alejo was with him. They were standing on a long, complicated trail of pillows, super-expensive paintings and even blankets, and they stared at me with such horror… it was like they had just discovered a body!

'Teo! Allie!' I stammered, kind of confused. 'W-what's the matter? And what are you doing? Don't walk on those things!'

'Papa, come here NOW!' Allie nagged. 'Before the lavamonster gets you!'

'Lavamonster?'

'THE GROUND'S LAFA, PAPA!' Matteo yelled. 'SUPER HOT!'

Ah.

Ahhhhhhhh.

Slowly, I was beginning to realize what was going on.

'OUCH!' I therefore cried out, hastily hopping on a fauteuil standing next to me. 'The ground turned into lava! Wow! I didn't even notice!'

'We TOLD YOU!' Matteo said, rolling his eyes.

Alejo made an arm-gesture towards his brother like he wanted to say "I got this" and gave me a comically serious stare.

'It's okay, papa. We'll come to save you! With our lava-proof thingies! Just stay there!'

'Well, thank god,' I chuckled. 'Where's your sister, by the way?'

'Sjjjjjjjjhhhhhhht, papa…' Matteo glanced around the room nervously and shivered, '…don't be so loud, the lafamonster hears you!'

I frowned. 'But I just want to know where Luisa i—'

'Rawr.'

I stopped talking and looked down. In front of the comfy chair I was standing in – which was pretty weird, standing in a comfy chair – a small creature had appeared. It was stuck in a green pillowcase with two holes cut into it. Two little arms dangled out of it and a really funny face was scribbled on the front of the pillowcase.

'Luisa?' I asked.

'Rawr,' Luisa said again, flailing her arms around dangerously this time.

'NOOOOOOOOO!' Matteo gasped, falling on his knees.

'He's toast!' Alejo said, who was equally terrified.

'Oh no!' I stammered and climbed even further up the fauteuil, 'I'm done for! A cute, adorable, endearing little monster has appeared and I have no way to go! Oh, if only someone could save me!'

It was like I had triggered something in the boys' minds, because they instantly lost all of their 'fears' and shared a few hesitant looks, before nodding and looking back to me. Especially Alejo seemed extremely eager to come save his father – and I have to say I felt kind of weird when I recognized that passionate, almost mad look in his eyes. It was a good thing he had inherited Lovi's kind eyes, otherwise I would've felt a bit freaked out.

'Don't worry, papa! Teo and I will think of something to come save your butt! Hold on!'

Matteo nodded. 'Yea, we'll shave your butt!'

'Rawr.' Luisa started scratching the comfy chair with her tiny little nails and my god, how hard it was for me to not just swoop her off the ground and hug her to bits!~

'SHE'S ATTACKING THE PAPA FORT!' Matteo shouted, alarmed.

'No time to waste!' Alejo leaned on the most outer pillow. 'Papa! RUN OVER THE LAVA!'

'What?' I gave him a shocked look. 'Are you serious? It's lava! I can't run over lava – my feet will burn!'

'He'll turn into LAFA-FOAM! Just like the mermad!' Matteo almost started crying and pulled on the hem of Alejo's shirt. 'Captan! I dun't want Papa Toni to become lafa-foam!'

'Rawr,' Luisa said.

'EEEEEEEEKKKKK!' Matteo sound-effected away.

'PAPA!' Alejo howled.

I really had to do my very best to keep myself from bursting out in laughter – it was such a weird sight, Matteo and Alejo stressing out because their little sister, who couldn't even see where she was walking and now lightly hit her head against the lamp next to the fauteuil, was stumbling around me.

'Rawr,' Luisa said again, now with a bit more feeling, and bumped against the chair as well. 'Ra—ouch.'

'Looks like I have no other choice,' I dramatically said, my voice squeaky and high because I was still holding back my laughter, 'I'll have to dash!'

Matteo and Alejo had high hopes again and cheered.

'YEA! BASH!'

'YOU CAN DO IT, PAPA!'

'There I go!...'

I jumped off the comfy chair and sprinted to the boys on the pillow raft, but… in slow-motion.

'P-papa!' Alejo now started to giggle but did his best to keep a straight face. 'You look funny!'

'I'mmmmmmm alllllllllllmost thhhhhhhereeeeee… oh, I'mmmmmmmm trippppppppppppinggggggg overrrrrrrrrrrr a rockkkkkkkkkk…'

'Papa, you're so weird!'

'Hellllllllllllpppppppppppp…' I epically fell down in slow motion.

Matteo didn't even try to stay serious anymore – he just roared away and literally rolled over from laughing too hard.

Meanwhile, Luisa saw her chance and – after watching me and snickering a bit as well – swiftly walked over to me and touched my knee.

'Rawr. Bam!'

'Nooo… notttttttttt myyyyyyyy kneeeeeeeeeee… I likeddddddd thattttttt kneeeeeeee…'

At that point, the kids simply forget about the game and just ran towards me, jumping on my chest and yelling and laughing and running away from me shrieking as I got up, the NEW LAVAMONSTER, and started chasing them while uttering "rawr" and waving around the green pillowcase.

It was a lot of fun! We were having more fun here in the hallway than we had during our stay in that hideous resort, and that was wonderful! I don't even want to know how many rare Spanish antiques the kids and I destroyed during our lava-themed rampage, ahahahaha!~

'HEY!' Lovino all of a sudden snarled from upstairs, 'CALM THE MOTHERFUCK DOWN, YOU ANIMALS - THERE ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO REST HERE!'

We could even see him standing – yes, I had that kind of House, we could see the corridor of first floor from ground zero – and Matteo couldn't help himself, he just had to greet his Papa Lovi.

'HIIIIIIIIIII PAPA LOVI! PAPA TONI'S A LAFAMONSTER!'

'No, he's a fucking JACKASS and YOU are NOISY, you little STEREO SURROUND-SYSTEM!'

'Ehehehehehe,' Matteo grinned, 'papa called me a nose-y, that's funny.'

'We're sorry!' I yelled back as the kids giggled away. 'We'll keep it down, sweetie!'

'Good! And another thing!' Lovino snorted. 'I'm still waiting for that goddamn soup!'

'Don't be such a sourpuss, Lovi. Just tell us the magic word!~'

'The magic word?'

Lovino was really, honestly confused now, I could tell, even from this distance, and he furrowed his brows.

'Tomato?'

…

…

Well, let me put it this way – it was a miracle the neighbors didn't come complaining about our ear-deafening laughing/hollering/earthquake-noises, because I swear even the walls seemed to deform from the sound waves we emitted.

And Lovi? Well, he could only watch it happen while even his ears turned bright red.

/0o0\

When the kids and I entered the bedroom half a hour later, we were still chuckling and making jokes about what Lovi had said.

Lovino, on the other hand, was being grumpy because of that exact same reason and gave the four of us very pissed-off looks as we raided his bed and showed him what we brought him.

'Aww, cut us some slack, my love, we were only having a bit of fun. And look!' I said, putting a very fancy tray with a just as fancy bowl of chicken soup on his lap. 'I made you soup, sweetie!'

'And I have bwead!' Matteo chirped as he pointed to the large bread he was squeezing to mush in-between his cute little hands.

'Spoon,' Luisa said, handing over said object to Lovino.

'Magical dragon-sword of DEATH,' Alejo grinned excitedly has he juggled around the butter knife he carried.

'Thanks, kiddo,' Lovino quickly snatched the knife away from Alejo and managed to change his moody expression into a more welcoming one. 'And the rest of you as well. I, um… well, it smells and looks delicious.'

'That's because I put all of my undying love for you in it,' I lovingly said, ignoring the bored "you could do better than that" -look Luisa gave me.

Lovi snickered. 'All your love for me is in it? Are you sure it's still edible, then?'

'My love for you is also in the soup!' Alejo aggressively informed Lovino before I could answer.

'Mine, too!' Matteo added. 'Mah love for ya tastes like chickens, Papa Toni said. I liek chickens! Tock, tock! Eehehehehe…'

'Dammit,' Lovino said and started tearing up again, clasping his hand against his mouth. Meanwhile, Luisa didn't say anything – she just made a 'hmpf' -sound and avoided looking anyone of us in the eye.

'So how are you feeling?' I decided to ask Lovi, while pulling Luisa closer to me (I could see she was unconsciously trying to distant herself from us, since she couldn't say these words yet, and I wasn't going to let that happen).

'I-I'm feeling fine,' Lovino said as he rubbed his sleeve over his eyes. 'Really, I feel fine. I just have something in my eyes.'

'Yea, water – from your tears,' Matteo wisely remarked.

'Those are not tears!' Lovino instantly denied. 'My eyes are just… the air is very dry in this room. It's irritating my eyes!'

Alejo liked to stir things up a bit and grinned even broader. 'Nooooo, you're crying, papa! Like a wuss, haha!'

'It's the air, dammit, you devil!'

'Sure, sure, don't freak out.' I smiled and pretended I didn't feel the weak pounds Luisa was delivering to my arm. 'I'll open a window later, okay?'

'…w-whatever. Okay. That… yeah, nice.' Lovi looked away from me and took a sip of soup, blushing heavily.

GOD. He was so CUTE!

I wanted to throw my arms around him and the kids and babble on about how criminally adorable we all were, but then again, maybe I shouldn't, because I would spill soup on everybody, Lovi would be mad, 'dammit, Antonio, do you even know how vulnerable these sheets are', stuff like that…

'Antonio, they've called,' Lovino then all of a sudden said, and I came down from my happy cloud.

'Hmmmm?' I looked at him questioningly.

Lovino frowned again, but it wasn't his usual frown – that half-angry, half-embarrassed frown he wore so much. This frown seemed thicker, and less pleasant for him to form.

'A few minutes before you came in, I got a call from somebody from the PPSS.'

'Right,' I said, while I instantly felt a stone crash down in my stomach.

Always, always when I started to think "maybe everything isn't that bad after all" or "maybe I should try and look on the bright side" or "hey, I'm having fun and no worries at all!~", these kind of things happened.

I wondered why that was. Was this my punishment for having too much fun? Or was it karma – coming back at last to bite me in the ass, to make me pay for all the sins I've committed when I was just a young, stupid kid that enjoyed wars and repressing others?

I don't know what it was, but I wish I had paid my dues already. Seriously – this was beginning to wore me out even worse than I had expected.

'Okay – and that's enough.' Lovino frowned at me and gently smacked me on the head. 'Your inner crybaby is showing and I don't like it. Think of the kids. Also, don't think too panicky things, because it's not that bad.'

I wanted to ask him what he meant with that, but at the same time, the kids started to get immensely annoying and told us they were going to play the lava-game again and before I could even think of the words 'no wait haven't you destroyed the hallway enough already', they got away.

…

Almost like they went away on purpose, huh?

Lovino sighed. 'There you have it – you shooed them away with your depressing puppy face. Nice work, Antonio.'

'What did I do, then? I only—'

'You look fucking depressed whenever we talk about a touchy subject, Antonio. And kids aren't blind.'

'Oh,' I only said, looking down to my hands.

He paused for a second.

'By the way, it wasn't that bad. That call from that PPSS-person, I mean.'

I jolted my head up right away. 'What was it about?'

'The person I got on the phone introduced himself as Mr. Italy – you remember that time when that mysterious Miss Spain-lady called you, right? Well, seems like I got to speak with the Italian associate from that weird organization.'

I tightened my lips together. Couldn't Lovi just get to the point already?

'Anyway,' Lovino swiftly continued, since he saw me silently freeze up, 'it was a pretty normal conversation, he just wanted to ask me why we didn't stay at the resort for two more months. I couldn't come up with a lie that quickly, so I just told him the truth – we didn't like being there anymore and just wanted to get back to our ordinary lives, or whatever that was left of it.'

'You really said it like that?' I asked, surprised.

Lovino snorted cheekily. 'Of course – I'm not very subtle when there's a hole in my head, dammit. Besides, I was curious about how he'd react to that statement.'

'And?'

'He just laughed and said that eventually, everything would be just the same again as it was before, so I shouldn't worry.'

I gaped at Lovino.

'Now I don't get it at all anymore.'

'Well I get it,' Lovino smirked, putting his hands to his sides haughtily. 'Because the kids are going to take over our roles, things will eventually be back the way it was before. With the world and everything. Simple.'

I shook my head. 'I doubt it's that simple, though.'

'Antonio, it really is that simple. Relax, it wasn't like that Mr. Italy-bastard gave me a reprimand or anything. After he told me it was unexpected, but not, I don't know, illegal to leave the resort earlier than the PPSS-organization had in mind, he just told me he hoped I'd have a nice break and he wished you and the kids the best of luck and happiness as well.'

'My stomach hurts,' I mumbled.

'That's because you're a damn worrywart and you should eat something already, you skinny bitch.'

I forgot about my aches for a second and stared at Lovino, my jaw dropping. 'Did you just call me a skinny bitch?'

'Maybe.' Lovino blushed – perhaps because he realized it indeed sounded kind of mean – and sank back into the pillows, stirring his soup.

'That was uncalled for,' I deliberately pointed out, smiling a bit as he got even redder and muttered something I could barely hear.

'You should just eat more fat, dammit. I don't like it when you're this thin. Makes me worried.'

'I'll eat more, I promise.' I touched his face and softly caressed its heated surface. 'And I'll try to be more positive.'

Lovino's eyes – beautiful and bright, as always – gave me an intense look.

'When I get better, we should teach the kids all we know about our countries.'

I nodded. 'Ah, to get them prepared, right?'

He nodded as well and ate some more soup. He didn't eat that much either, I discovered, but I decided to keep my mouth shut about that, for now.

'We should spend the next weeks to schooling our kids, Antonio, and that's the only thing we should be paying attention to.'

'What about questioning Guillermo?' I blurted it out before I could stop myself. 'Is that off the table now?'

'Of course NOT,' Lovino nagged, glaring. 'You really think that one stupid, casual call from PPSS is going to stop me from finding out the secrets those creeps are hiding from us? No way! I'm going to question that Spanish asshole-doctor of yours until he cracks, just you watch me!'

'But you just said we should only focus on the kids from now on!'

'WE should only focus on the kids – and I'LL focus on the doctor as well.' He rolled his eyes. 'Is that so hard to understand?'

Kind of, I wanted to say – but you know what, I was tired, I was hungry and I had three kids that were probably tearing the wallpaper off the walls right now, so I just really didn't have that much energy left to discuss with Lovino about what was hard and easy to understand.

'Get some more rest,' I therefore told Lovino as I raised myself up, off the bed. 'I'll go—'

'You'll go give me a kiss now, before leaving me behind with lukewarm soup, and I'm fine with that,' Lovino bluntly said and sat up again.

I watched how he awkwardly shuffled closer to the side of the bed where I was sheepishly standing, raising his flushed face with such an adorable little smile on his face that I could die happily. Not that I wanted to die, but hey, if I died now, I at least had seen Lovino smile like that, and that was just wonderful.

I chuckled and put my hands on the mattress, nudging his face with my nose.

'You've gotten so sweet, Lovi.'

'All your fault, you jerk.' He swallowed and put his hands on mine, without looking away. 'N-now. Kiss me already, dammit.'

I smiled once more, and I did.