Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

A/n1: Lovino's narrating again. Yup yup!

A/n2: Thank you all so much about the advice you've given me about what I should do with T. Now that I've gone on a date with him and discovered he seems to think I "just need more time" to fall in love with him, I'm so fed up with him that I actually don't even want to talk to him anymore.
Now, how should I make clear to him that I really, really just want to be friends? Or has that become impossible, now that I'll need to reject him, again?
I feel so evil. Relieved, but evil. It's a strangely comfortable feeling. XDDDDDD

A/n3: My mom and I went to an Irish riverdance-performance last week. We were very excited, since we hadn't ever gone to such a thing before, so we got all dolled up and excited and "Wheeeee! Riverdancing!" and so we went.
But you know what? IT SUCKED BALLS.
There were three female "Celtic maidens" (more like pageant trolls) that kept on singing shitty songs, and my mom, the (by the way elderly) audience and I were like "WTF, where's the Irish stuff, where's the dancing" and finally, there they were, the riverdancers!
BORING.
SO BORING.
They constantly did the same thing, over and over again, only bothering to switch crappy costumes every sixty seconds (which was pretty annoying as well).
And those three smiling beauty queens KEPT ON COMING BACK.
At one point, when they said 'and this song is dedicated to our good friend and artist Adele' (yes, that one), I swear to God the entire room face-palmed and groaned 'urgghhh' because of all the cheesiness.
When the blonde Celtic Nightmare started singing an opera-song out of fucking no-where, I couldn't take it anymore and laughed sohard that the entire audience could hear me (I mean, everybody was all of a sudden staring at me, so I guess they could totally hear my hysterical cackling).
But they didn't even mind! They all laughed along with me! It just was that bad! My god!
I do feel a bit bad about laughing at them, but come on…

A/n4: Mr. De Saint-Exupéry was a wealthy Frenchman that loved to fly. He even was a commercial pilot during WW2!
Anyway, he experienced all kinds of things, wrote the beautiful children's book "The Little Prince" that was partly based on his experiences, and ultimately, De Saint-Exupéry disappeared in 1944, during his last assigned reconnaissance mission.
If you haven't even read the book, I suggest you do it now – it's such a wonderful, bittersweet story…

~~ And Three Makes Five ~~

Chapter 44:

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it's tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
(French aristocrat, writer and aviator)

'Lookie lookie, I made a thingie! Ehehehehehe…'

Matteo held up a drawing with several colorful smudges, grinning impatiently as he watched my and Antonio's astonished faces. He looked so damn cute, all proud and band-aided up and everything, with his little X-legs and wobbly feet, I actually had to turn away my head and gnaw on my thumb's nail to prevent myself from squealing.

'Well well!~' Hernández therefore cooed, before Antonio and I could. 'What a nice drawing, young man! So very imaginative! Could you tell me what you have drawn, though? I'm a bit dumb, you know.'

Matteo stared at the doctor, lost some of his happy smile and shyly shuffled into Antonio's direction. He even hid behind his legs and pressed his face against them, muffling a soft 'mnkwllmnbuluuu'.

'I'm sorry,' Antonio smiled – also clearly holding back on snuggling Matteo with all his might, I could tell, 'Matteo's a bit shy when it comes to strangers. As a matter of fact – all three of our kids seem to have that problem. They're a bit hard to approach.'

'That's not a problem – it's the only sensible thing to do!' I huffed, glaring at Antonio. 'Do you have any idea how awful it would be if our kids had that same personality as Feliciano and just tagged along with every creepy person that wanted to do bad things to them? Be happy they're reluctant!'

Antonio chuckled. 'Well, I'm glad they take after you. It means that they'll only give their love to someone worthy of it. It's a great personality trait.'

My face grew hotter and I managed to fight off a hesitant smile. 'Sh-shut up. Don't talk like that. We're not alone.'

'Yes, your children bear a striking resemblance to you,' Dr. Hernández said, carefully waving at Matteo (who just turned his head away), 'how is that even possible?'

'Huh?' Antonio and I simultaneously said.

Dr. Hernández blinked, surprised to see our, um, surprise. 'Well, you a-d-o-p-t-e-d your c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n, right? It's not like Mr. Romano gave birth to them naturally. Or… or… my god, did you?'

I looked at the doctor's amazed face and resisted the urge to destroy that disturbingly handsomeness with something big and heavy, since the poor man couldn't help it that I seemed to look like the mama-guy of the two of us – many people seemed to think that, after all. Also, he was nice enough to prevent uttering words that could upset Matteo, even though that kid probably wouldn't understand the words he had just spelled in a thousand years (okay, that was mean – hundred years, tops).

But if Antonio continued smiling like that, probably imagining me pregnant and stuffing my face with all kinds of sweets, he was sooooo going to get it.

'First of all,' I calmly said, 'no, I didn't give birth to anybody, I've never ever been pregnant, since I'm, oh, say, a MAN, and second of all, even if I was a female personification, which I'm not, because I'm a MAN, I couldn't get… k-i-d-s myself, because we don't reproduce. Also I'm a MAN.'

Dr. Hernández looked like he had just discovered something new, which probably was exactly the case.

'Personifications can't reproduce?'

'We can't,' Antonio said. 'We can't make new life. We also weren't made – we just were here all of a sudden.'

'That sounds lonely,' the doctor said.

…

Antonio and I didn't reply, we just looked pained and silently searched our brains for the right words, which we didn't find.

'O-oh,' Hernández stammered, watching our gloomy expressions, 'I-I'm so sorry – it's none of my business. My mistake. You're obviously not lonely at all, since you have each other! And your kids! You must be so happy to have gotten children like your three little rays of sunshine!~'

Now Antonio and I could try and explain that we didn't exactly choose our kids – and I wondered if people who wanted to adopt kids could pick their children out of a bunch of kids, does it really go like that? – but I didn't feel like telling that tale. It was weird, confusing, unnatural and it made me feel fairly uneasy about everything. One look on Antonio's face, however, made me realize that he wasn't going to let Dr. Hernández get away with the idea of us having adopted children.

'Luisa, Matteo and Alejo are completely ours,' he resolutely told Hernández, pulling Matteo on his lap. 'We don't know where they come from or why we were blessed to have our genes transferred into these three fantastic little critters, but we're very, very happy with them and we don't want to lose them.'

Dr. Hernández smiled, impressed, and sighed deeply.

'Ah, I honestly hope you won't lose them, Mr. Spain – and you won't, I know you won't, because you and Mr. Romano both are very kind, passionate parents. And yes, losing a child… I think there's almost nothing worse than that. However…'

The doctor laced his fingers together tightly and looked to the ground.

'…however, I'd rather experience the nightmare of losing a child, than the utter horror of never having been a parent at all.'

…

It was a strange, maybe even wrong thing to say – and the doctor knew, since he instantly started apologizing again after forcing himself to get out of his depressed state of mind – but I think…

I think I understood him.

\0o0/

'Now I totally get it. I get everything. I know exactly what's going on.'

I grinned at Antonio broadly, who stopped looking at his TV-show and eating chips to throw me this tired, skeptical, "oh-god-he-has-come-up-with-something-new-again" -look.

Now I could understand why he looked like that – he had a pretty rough day, with the kids and the new doctor and everything. And he obviously thought I was a wise-ass. Also, I bet he was very happy that the kids were finally in bed now, sound asleep and blessing us with a few moments of rest and intimacy.

Intimacy.

…

Yeah, I had thought that maybe, maybe, he'd want to do some naughty things with me… but I then noticed those gray bags under his eyes and his thinned face and my horniness disappeared like snow in the sunlight. Not a bigger turn-off than snapping bones, after all.

…

Kind of a disturbing mental picture there.

Oh forget it. Anyway, this guy… he was still worrying his cute buns off about everything, wasn't he? Even though it was all perfectly clear what was going on!

Maybe, or so I thought as I watched him watching TV, I should reassure him once again that not all that was going to happen to us was going to be that bad. Especially now that Dr. Hernández had come to stir up his already heavily damaged nerves. I mean, he was probably troubled again, right? Time to ease his tired mind, once again!

Antonio sighed, rubbing his head. 'So. You claim to get what's going on. You always seem to know what's going on.'

'That's because I'm sickening smart. People are crying out there, just because I'm so smart.'

'Crying, even.'

'Yes. Crying and scratching their own eyes out because of the wonder that is me.'

'Alright,' Antonio chuckled and leaned his face on one of his hands as he looked at me. 'Well, do share, sweetie. Because I'm getting more confused every single day – not to mention weak.'

I frowned at him. 'Well, that's a waste of fucking energy. Isn't it obvious? Dr. Hernández is going to replace Delgado because our kids are going to replace us!'

'Huh?'

'Look,' I said, sitting up and making the old couch groan in protest, 'Hernández is going to be our kids' new doctor. And Delgado, that sweet old bastard, thought, "hey, I hate kids, but my gay grandson, who has a lot of difficulties with adopting children, loves them – maybe I should give him this chance to still be able to take care of kids, without actually having them! I'm retiring!" and that's that.'

'Hm!' Antonio sat up as well and dropped his hand. 'That actually sounds very plausible!'

'It's not plausible – it's the truth. The stone-hard, glass-sharp, grass-green truth.' I smiled, triumphant as ever, and casually swung one of my luscious legs over the other one.

'Maybe,' Antonio mused, 'maybe… that's also the reason why Hernández isn't informed about the PPSS and everything. I mean, he didn't even know we had kids, so… yes, maybe this was just a small sign that Guillermo's actually a pretty nice guy that wants to pleasantly surprise his grandson!'

'You nailed it,' I nodded.

'That's so nice of him!' Antonio laughed, but just for a bit. 'Ah, I guess I can understand Guillermo a bit better now. He lost his wife, his daughter and his son-in-law, and if he didn't do something to heal the severed bond with his only grandkid, he'd theoretically lose him, too. It's no wonder he's such a difficult, broody man. I'd get like him as well, if I ever lost you. Or… well, or our children.'

I smiled. 'Delgado isn't that bad. He's just struggling with his grandparental feelings, that's all.'

'Well, we all struggle with our feelings sometimes… aren't we?' Antonio rested his head on the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. 'I'm constantly struggling with things. And I'm constantly trying to keep them under the surface, but it's just no use when you're around.'

'What's that supposed to mean, dammit. Is it a bad thing you can't hide your feelings from me?'

I grumbled, leaning back as well – we tend to mimic each other a lot in case you haven't noticed, if Antonio started dancing the samba or whatever right now I'd probably nonchalantly join him in about three seconds and he'd be completely cool with that.

'Maybe I should say it differently.' Antonio licked his lips. 'Let me put it this way: no matter how much I'd sometimes like to hide my exhaustion, my sadness or my stress from you, I feel too comfortable with you to actually do that. I want to be myself when I'm with you – no matter who that "myself" might be at that point. It's useless to fight it. I want you to know and see me, even when I don't want you to know and see me.'

I didn't say anything. I didn't even look at him, I looked at the ceiling.

'It wears me out,' Antonio muttered, 'and it annoys me, and it terrifies me, and I wouldn't want it any other way.'

'Shit.' I snorted, smiled and felt something sharp pricking behind my eyes, all at the same time, and I hastily turned my head to the side, away from Antonio. 'You and your lame-ass compliments make me act like a whiny little bitch, you moron…'

'It's not a compliment,' Antonio said.

'Just shut up.'

'It's just the way it is, Lovino.'

'You make me look way too good.'

'No I'm not. I'm not complimenting you.'

I wanted to laugh or snort, or at least something to make him believe I wasn't touched by his words at all, but I was the same, dammit, I couldn't hide my feelings in front of him either, I could only avoid his eyes and hope I wasn't secretly transforming into an aggressively pregnant lady that already started bawling when she was watching a commercial about puppies and toiletpaper.

'Lovino,' Antonio said, his voice soft and gentle.

'What,' I replied.

'Maybe you should lay down.'

I snapped my head back to him. 'Now why the fuck should I…'

The words dried up in my mouth when I saw some well-known emotions reflecting from his face.

'…I should lay down, yes,' I eventually murmured, breathing out slowly when Antonio was pulling his shirt out.

He just smiled at me as I put a pillow behind my – still very sensitive – head and tried to make myself comfortable, down on that old, dusty couch. I couldn't keep my eyes from Antonio as he silently loosened up both his and my own pants, asking me without actually asking me if this was alright with me.

…

Of course, I just calmly hooked my legs around his waist and playfully pulled him towards me, until both of our lower bodies were cozily connecting.

'Oh, cheeky, aren't we?' Antonio grinned, placing his hands down next to both sides of my head. 'I like it when you act cheeky. It's sexy.'

'Well,' I breathed out, 'well, I like it when you take the lead.'

'My god, you actually said it.'

'Can it.'

'I should've taped this.'

'Shut up!' My cheeks, whoosh, red and burning, as I embarrassedly pushed a cushion into the fucker's face. 'I'm sure I've said it more often—I mean, I-I'm not going to say it again, asshole! Especially not when you're acting all high and mighty!'

Antonio laughed and took hold of my wrist, pushing it away from his face. My heart started beating way too fanatically as his face reappeared behind the cushion, his eyes more lovingly than I had seen before. Well – today, that is.

Then he laid himself down on me and pressed a lazy kiss on my mouth that I hadn't even seen coming, intertwining our fingers tightly.

'Ouch,' I mumbled into his kiss. My ring – he was holding my hand so firmly that our rings kind of hurt my fingers.

'I'm sorry.'

'Oh… no no, it's not that painful, you just surprised me is all' I mumbled, my voice an octave lower than usual, and closed my eyes as I waited for the next kiss, and the kiss after that, and the one after that, and the hands that would eventually slide into my boxer short, and all that wonderful goodness.

But it didn't happen – Antonio only sighed and rested his head underneath my chin.

'I'm sorry,' he said once again, 'I can't do this – I'm too… everything.'

'Of course you're too everything. It's okay. You can just… just rest.' I swallowed and tried to disguise my disappointment, but I didn't know he bought it. 'I wasn't in the mood anyway.'

'Oh Lovi, you're such a big liar.'

I inwardly cursed. Looks like he hadn't bought it.

'I'm no—'

'Your erection is so eager, it's almost hurting me.'

I almost yelped at that. 'Sh-sh-shut the hell up, it's not my… thing! It's the other thing.'

He snorted. 'What kind of thing's that?'

'My… um… spectacle case.'

'Hmmmm…' Antonio lifted his head from my chest, sighed again and sluggishly nuzzled my cheek. 'You don't wear specs, Lovi…'

'M-Matteo does.'

'Ah yes, he does…' Antonio paused to fold his hands around my face and head and what-not and planted soft kisses all over all of my flushed expression.

'I'm…' I bit back a moan as he tilted my head and licked my chin, 'I-I-I'm keeping it for him. Since… he'd lose it anyway…'

'Hmm, he would…'

I gasped quietly when Antonio's hands now disappeared behind my shirt and started running over my chest. Meanwhile, he kept kissing me, such tender, soft, light kisses, sometimes changing them into licks, but then they were kisses again, and my god, I thought I was going to get a fucking stroke from the discomfort of it all.

'H-hey,' I stammered, my heart pounding hard as Antonio moved his head to my ear and bit it, 'I-I thought you didn't… I thought you couldn't…'

'I know.' Antonio smiled against my ear, his breath warm, wet and incredibly turned on. Then he suddenly shoved a hand in my boxers and teasingly pressed a finger against my hole.

'Then why…' I panted, instinctively grabbing his shoulders as he started to wiggle his way in.

'Change of heart,' he whispered hotly.

I couldn't speak, so I shivered. Damn. He was just so… so fucking unreadable during these kind of… activities.

I was getting dizzy, I felt his sheer, raw, radiating lust for me was making me misty in the head and I felt like goddamn pudding in his hands, for fuck's sake.

But…

But I was more than willing to nod and comply, just as greedily.

\0o0/

I never knew having sex and falling asleep on an antique, muffy couch would be so very good for me, or for people in general, but I have to say that I had the nicest dream in ages that night.

I expected it to be a pretty fucked-up dream, of course, because I can't seem to dream normally. If I dream, I mostly dream like I'm tripping the hell out. I see sounds, I can smell colors and I can hear objects talk – I'm serious here, every drug addict would listen to me and call me his snorting soulmate after hearing all of my bullshit.

But guess what? This night, I dreamt peacefully. I actually dreamt a very normal, boring dream.

In this dream, Antonio, the kids and I sat in the biggest and greenest meadow I had ever seen. The horizon didn't have a limit, there was just no ending to how far the grass reached, and everywhere I looked were flowers and trees, healthy and happy and even though I admit some of those flowers seemed to represent heads of all the people I've met or talked to in the last couple of days – the Delgado Flower with his bearded face was particularly doubtful – it still was a very calm, tranquility-oozing dream.

I felt so fucking at ease, it could be considered disturbing.

So naturally, that loveliness needed to be destroyed by a sudden cartoon theme-song that violently woke me up from my slumber.

The first thing I saw upon waking up, was the television. Someone had turned it on, on the cartoon channel, and its way too loud volume made me want to toss it out of a window – but alas, I couldn't do it, because that piece of trash was way too heavy for me, also I maybe actually didn't want to toss the TV out of the window at all.

The second thing I noticed, was that Antonio's heavenly body, that had kept me company whole night long in the best kind of way, had been replaced by two smaller bodies – indeed, when I sleepily rubbed my eyes and lifted my head from the pillow to see who were sitting on my stomach and upper legs, I saw Matteo, suckling on his fingers drowsily, and Luisa, holding her head in her hands as she watched the show on TV. They were both covered with the big, fluffy blanket that was covering me, and they barely seemed to notice I had woken up.

Then I panicked for a split second – but thankfully, Antonio had somehow managed to put me inside my PJ's the night before, so I could breath out in relief.

Suddenly, Alejo came walking out of the kitchen, or so I saw as I did my best to wake up. He was rambling away to Antonio, who held his hand and smiled awkwardly while listening to him.

'…and then, and then, and then a big fish plopped out of the water, landed on the fight area and attacked me with a high-kick, papa!'

'Ahaha… that's… that's interesting, Allie!~'

'But I beat him!'

'I bet you did.'

'I sliced him up with my nails!'

Antonio made a face. 'Ew.'

'Yeah.' Alejo looked at his nails and frowned worriedly. 'Maybe the fat cat next door will eat my fingers, next time I wanna ride him. Awesome.'

While Antonio felt obliged to tell Alejo about all the complaints we've gotten from Peeping Rosita about Alejo and his tendency to haunt Don Donaldo, Matteo found out I had woken up.

'Hiiiiiiiii papa! Wakey wakey, sleepy bracky!'

'SSSSSSSHHHHHHJJJJJJJ!' Luisa hissed.

'Yeah, hi kiddo's.' I tried to sit up a bit more, which was rewarded by an angry glare from Luisa.

Matteo, however, instantly knew I was uncomfortable and hopped off me – almost smashing his face into the little table in front of the couch.

'Thanks, Matteo!' I grinned at the little yawning guy and swiftly plucked Luisa from my legs, gently putting her down on the couch itself again before she could even start nagging at me. I also lifted Matteo off the ground and placed him next to his sister.

'There you go,' I said as I covered the both of them with the blanket again, and teasingly patted Luisa head extra long.

Surprisingly enough, she allowed it – she huffed and frowned at me, yes, but she didn't complain.

'Papa,' she said, and harshly smacked her hand down next to her. 'Sit.'

'I'm not your damn dog,' I informed her, but did as I was told – I pulled Matteo on my lap and put the blanket over my legs as I joined her and her brother with watching some stupid cartoon.

'Dumb show,' I grumbled as I rested my chin on Matteo's head. 'Japanese people draw shit like they're all flinching robots.'

'It's not shit, it's cool,' Luisa immediately defended her fabitite show, and leaned the side of her head against my arm. 'She fights bad guys, dammit.'

'I sawwww Mia skating in mah room tonight,' Matteo giggled, making no sense at all, as usual. I just poked his side and he enthusiastically replied by shrieking and fumbling on the blanket like a weird little boy – but that was okay.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Alejo was now rushing to the couch as well and Antonio… well, he followed.

'Papa!' Alejo wheezed as he climbed up the couch and pouched the blanket. 'I fought a fish!'

I smiled and made some room for him. 'Yeah, I heard.'

'It was a very serious fight,' Alejo continued as he crawled to my legs and didn't bother to even sit up, 'but I still killed it. And now, I'm the best fighter in Water City.'

I wanted to comment on that, but except loudly pointing out that he and Matteo probably were the Twin Kings of Fucked-Up Strangeness, nothing else came to mind.

Especially not when Antonio suddenly leaned on the back of the couch.

And fuck me, fuck my vivid memories, fuck my face and fuck my treacherous blood circulation, but I looked over my shoulder at him and started blushing like a goddamn teenage girl meeting her internationally known idol for the very first time.

'H-hi.'

'Good morning, Lovino!' Antonio's smile glittered like a thousand suns. 'Did you sleep well, my love?'

'I guess,' I mumbled, shrugging. I actually wanted to say that last night probably was the nicest night I had had in weeks, just because everything had felt very right and good, but complimenting him about his "skills" while three kids dangled around me was about as responsible as telling Feliciano there's a new pasta restaurant in the middle of the nearest high way.

Antonio chuckled and ran a hand through my hair. 'You know, I… kind of wanted to carry you upstairs when I woke up this morning, but you seemed to dream so very peacefully… I just decided to… uhm… dress you a bit and cover you up.'

I snorted. 'You didn't do things while you dressed me, did you?'

He gasped comically. 'Oh no, Lovi! I'd never do indecent things like that! Never! No, I just molested the daylight out of your defenseless body, that's all.'

I snickered. 'Asshole.'

'Language, Lovino.' Antonio gave me such a heart-wrenchingly kind smile that I could feel it in my toes, dammit.

Still, I needed to keep my face straight. I couldn't let him know yet about the fact that I wanted to fucking hug him silly – I needed to mentally prepare for that a bit more, and moreover, I had three kids that needed my attention more now. I shouldn't forget that. I shouldn't ever forget that.

'Look,' I therefore croaked out, 'we're watching a show about girls changing into prettier girls with large weapons, killing monsters.'

'Ribbit,' Matteo copied my strange voice, grinning at me. 'Ya sound like a froggy, papa! Ehehehehe!'

'Papa Lovi tends to sound like a frog when he's happy and denying it, yes,' Antonio said, ignoring my flabbergasted face like the piece of… of jerk he was, and now ruffled Matteo's hair. 'Is it a nice show, Teo? Do you like it?'

'Ya!' Matteo clapped his hands. 'The gills are soooo pwetty!'

'Lame,' Alejo groaned, rolling his eyes.

'I like the story,' Luisa said. 'It's very deep and stuff. The girls are really fighting hard.'

'And theyw're pwetty,' Matteo said.

'And they have problems and shit.'

I clacked my tongue. 'Watch your mouth, young lady.'

'PWETTY,' Matteo exclaimed once more, and right on that moment, the girl hopping around in a yellow dress was all of a sudden fucking decapitated by a clownesk-monster thing.

'Gah,' Matteo gasped.

'Oh,' Luisa stammered.

'Wow,' Alejo uttered.

And then, her severed body dropped on the ground and was gruesomely eaten by the beast and MY GOD I HEARD CRUNCHY NOISES!

'Oh god,' Antonio mumbled.

'What the FUCK,' I yelped, while Luisa instantly covered her eyes, Matteo started sobbing and Alejo suddenly was a lot more interested in the anime, 'where's the remote, dammit – turn that shit off!'

'But – But I can't find it, I can't find it!'

'Her head came clean off, Antonio, holy SHIT!'

'Uhaaaaaaahhhh… uhahahahahaaaaaaaaahhhh…'

'No! I wanna watch this! This is epic!'

'I don't like this story anymore.'

'ALEJO, GIVE ME THAT THING!'

'NO! I WANNA SEE!'

…

…

And that was the ending of our nice and easy morning.

\0o0/

It was early in the afternoon when the five of us were finally having breakfast/lunch in the kitchen.

You'd probably expect that Antonio and I were at the ends of our wits again, with a heavily traumatized Matteo, a shocked Luisa and a bloodthirsty Alejo sitting at the table, but things kind of turned out differently.

In the end, Antonio and I failed to snatch the remote control from Alejo, so we ended up sort-of watching the entire episode – and it actually was pretty good, to be honest, since the show seemed to deal with death, pain and suffering a lot more realistically than most shows I had seen so far. Luisa eventually got pretty captivated again, Alejo lost his interest – too much talking, not enough blood – and Matteo was easily distracted when Antonio told him he should tell him more about that skating Mia dream.

…

Also, we promised the kids they could sleep with us tonight if they wanted to.

'That's because Papa Lovi probably can't sleep tonight because of the cartoon,' Antonio explained, while handing me over the butter. 'He'll need his three warrior kids to defend him against the fake monsters!'

'Absolutely,' I said, rolling my eyes but playing along.

Luisa chuckled. 'Yeah, figures. Papa Lovi's kind of a sissy.'

'And a wuss,' Matteo very hypocritically added just before sipping from his milk.

'Papa Lovi's the princess!' Alejo cried out, jumping on the table and accidentally tossing a slice of bread against Antonio's face. 'We must defend the princess against the wormy clowns!'

'Hey!' I nagged at him. 'Sit down, you demon child! And take that back, dammit, your dashing Italian father is no fucking princess!'

'Easy now,' Antonio said, removing the bread from his face, 'don't use up all of your energy yet, my love and my lovey lovies – we're going to do something fun today, after all!'

Luisa cocked her head. 'What are lovey lovies?'

Antonio smiled and softly flicked her forehead. 'You three are, you silly goose!~'

'Imma bloose! Yaaaaa!' Matteo cheered, flunking Nutella over the table.

'Wait, so we're going to do stuff?' I looked at Antonio as he sadly observed the big, brown smudge on the tablecloth. 'Have you planned something?'

'Nope!~' Antonio grinned proudly. 'But while you were asleep, I did think of things we could do to teach the kids more about our countries – remember, we were planning on doing that – and I think I have a nice idea!'

'Do you, now.' I couldn't help but sound sarcastic – most of Antonio's nice idea's involved either lazy sex or naps.

However, Antonio met my critical glare with eyes that almost burst from excitement.

'We should visit some Spanish and Italian cities these days! Do you have any suggestions, Lovi?'